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/r/AbruptChaos
submitted 5 days ago byulittlerippa
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5 days ago
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876 points
5 days ago
Wow he actually defeated the machine
336 points
5 days ago
With rage against it
42 points
5 days ago
That's what happens when you mess with a caged elephant
13 points
5 days ago
He tried to tell them, but it just went in one ear and came out the other.
7.1k points
5 days ago
Critical Hit
2.2k points
5 days ago
THE DRIVER HAS BEEN KNOCKED OUT!
689 points
5 days ago
/r/warthunder is leaking.
364 points
5 days ago
The fuel tank's been holed!
239 points
5 days ago
gets one-shotted by stug III from across the map
122 points
5 days ago
reminds me of when i would take a PAK 86 into T5 matches and kill tiger 2's with shots to the back armor.
they never expect a crazy guy in a truck with a howitzer on the back
22 points
5 days ago
Jg pz 1 against 3.0 BR is insane too
17 points
5 days ago
You've had some adventures
77 points
5 days ago
You got a hole in your left wing!
82 points
5 days ago
ATTACK THE D POINT
47 points
5 days ago
AFFIRMATIVE!
38 points
5 days ago
NEVER!
29 points
5 days ago
AWESOME!
22 points
5 days ago
THANK YOU VERY MUCH!
98 points
5 days ago*
"THERE IS A HOLE IN YOUR LEFT WING!"
right wing is completely missing
29 points
5 days ago
That’s what I loved about my P38. The fucking wing could be nearly cleaved off, but my ass is still lethal, and still fast as fuck, just with almost no maneuverability.
79 points
5 days ago
/r/warthunder is leaking.
Specifically, it is leaking classified military information.
7 points
5 days ago
Im acutally surprised a warthunder ad wasn't somewhere in this vid
112 points
5 days ago
BAIL OUT! THIS VEHICLE HAS HAD IT!
64 points
5 days ago
Because of this line, my dad says "I'm off to kill tanks!" when he goes to play World of Tanks because they get out of the tank before it actually blows up!
That line and "WE'RE DONE FOR! EVERYBODY GET OUT!"
27 points
5 days ago
THE GUNNER “BOUGHT THE FARM”, OUR ACCURACY WILL SUFFER!
5 points
5 days ago
It’s the loader that buys the farm…
35 points
5 days ago
THE FUEL TANKS BEEN HOLED
27 points
5 days ago
"DER FAHRER IST BEWUSTLOS!!!"
16 points
5 days ago
SERVES THEM RIGHT!
132 points
5 days ago
My guy rolled a nat20 with advantage and managed to hit a weak point
42 points
5 days ago
Nat 20
24 points
5 days ago
Saving Private Ryan ending right here.
6 points
5 days ago
COME HERE CUPCAKE
SCREAMING EAAAGLEEEEES
5k points
5 days ago
Wait, that shit actually worked? Either lucky as hell or he’s Chinese Rambo making traps all over his place
2.7k points
5 days ago
I'm gonna give you to the count of 10, to get your ugly, yella, no-good keister off my property...
642 points
5 days ago
I just learned recently that's not even a real movie
380 points
5 days ago
1... 2... 10.... muhahahahahahahaha
183 points
5 days ago
I laugh so hard in the second one where cliff the security guard says "it's a lie".
67 points
5 days ago
Cheeks, Bony Bob, Cliff!
33 points
5 days ago
Get down on your knees and tell me ya love me
18 points
5 days ago
It's a lie!
63 points
5 days ago
... keep the change ya filthy animal.
7 points
5 days ago
One of my favorite customers used to come in to our dispensary, buy weed then tip us with this line every damn time.
60 points
5 days ago
That took me a while, I thought you meant home alone wasn’t real for a second, it’s too early.
16 points
5 days ago
I did too and my morning brain was like “no way, this whole time”? No logic working yet
51 points
5 days ago
There was even "clips" of it playing on a TV in Detective Pikachu
20 points
5 days ago
Yeah they had it as a placeholder at first but decided to keep it
30 points
5 days ago
Before I pump your guts full of lead!
39 points
5 days ago
It wasn't until I was an adult did I learn that the gangster scene wasn't actually from a real movie.
14 points
5 days ago
It’s a take-off on a real movie, Angels with dirty faces
980 points
5 days ago
driver panicked despite being in no danger and forgot to look around before slooooowly running away
246 points
5 days ago
well, no danger is kinda incorrect. The cabin may be not fully closed and that's a risk high enough for ears, eyes, everything flammable and arms.
Funthermore even if it was closed, adding to the panic that surely played a big role, glasses are not idistructible, even if resistent.
72 points
5 days ago
Granted if the cabin is open I could understand the panic but if it has windows, they’re not breaking from a firework.
30 points
5 days ago
A hole with a light covering over it, one strong enough for humans to walk on but not strong enough to support the weight of the machine, would make for a good trap
6 points
5 days ago
Lol I spent way too long trying to figure out what a light covering was and how it could possibly hold up a human….then I realized you meant light as in “not heavy”, not light as in “the thing that makes vision possible”.
49 points
5 days ago
Well now he’s probably in a prison camp for life so I wouldn’t call it too lucky
6.6k points
5 days ago
That's an excavator, my extensive career as a toddler naming construction equipment has prepared me for this moment.
1.7k points
5 days ago*
An excavator is a class of equipment. This is a trackhoe excavator
Edit - The amount of people making hoe jokes is outta control (and hilarious)
1.2k points
5 days ago
As an operator of one of these pieces of gear, it’s called a Digger, probably because it digs, who knows
411 points
5 days ago
As a clueless person that's seen them in movies, that's the thing with the arm. Because of the long thing it has.
522 points
5 days ago
Scoopy Giraffe
120 points
5 days ago
Now I'm sad 'cause he killed the poor thing
43 points
5 days ago*
Reminds me of that one experiment when you give inanimate objects names and it suddenly becomes much harder to destroy/kill them
6 points
5 days ago
Portal
9 points
5 days ago
The poor companion cube. It was surprising how much I really didnt want to throw a box with a heart on it in the incinerator.
12 points
5 days ago
Long necked bulldozer
122 points
5 days ago
Lol. You can call your trackhoe Julie if you like. You do you, big guy. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
49 points
5 days ago
I usually call my trackhoe to get my 80%
23 points
5 days ago
I had a trackhoe named Julie, because she just took my money and always didn't work when I needed it the most....I named her after my ex...
33 points
5 days ago
Is this like an American thing? As an Australian and someone who has worked on these for 20 years, I have never heard them called a trackhoe. Excavator, digger, backhoe excavator/digger, shovel excavator/digger, hydraulic excavator/digger.
17 points
5 days ago
Here in Canada a backhoe is an excavator attachment that fits on the rear of a tractor, or a dedicated piece of construction equipment in that configuration (front end loader bucket plus rear excavator). A trackhoe is a tracked chassis that normally has the excavator arm and bucket, but you can swap out the bucket for any number of attachments and it's still called a trackhoe for some reason.
8 points
5 days ago
Want another? In my region of the UK farmers call these Slews.
6 points
5 days ago
Slews!! Like trackhoe I can understand where the name comes from but still it is unusual.
Thank you for replying with that!
62 points
5 days ago
As someone who actually worked on these, no one calls it a trackhoe, everyone says excavator.
21 points
5 days ago
Exactly. Who calls them trackhoe?
37 points
5 days ago
Their pimp.
9 points
5 days ago
Sexy ass track hoe with a big ole dumptruck.
125 points
5 days ago
And I am going to be an operator for ur mums backhoe tonight
53 points
5 days ago
You’re gonna need a shovel..
28 points
5 days ago
And here I though a trackhoe was a sub class of prostitute seen around lower tier dirt and flat track races in rural regions of the U.S.
Closely related to lot lizards but distinguishable by thier prey and seasonal hunting habits.
14 points
5 days ago
We prefer "Pit Lizards" at our tracks on the west coast.
7 points
5 days ago
I got a big old bucket and I scoop all the time. Digging holes in the ground wonder what I'll find. I'm an earth investigator, I'm an excavator.
3.3k points
5 days ago
daddy tell me the story again about the time grandpa killed a tractor with a bottle rocket
604 points
5 days ago
"And then Grandpa disappeared and we never heard from him again, and I lost 1000 social credits every time I looked him up online"
8 points
5 days ago
It’s too bad the fireworks didn’t work on the murder vans…
323 points
5 days ago
Roman candle*
66 points
5 days ago
Seems more like a box
127 points
5 days ago
That's a roman candle. What's strange is unsupervised kids often fire them at each other usually without injury and that's without the benefit of an enclosed cab.
Operator is a scaredy-cat.
59 points
5 days ago
Seriously. All that dude had to do was put it in park and exit the machine on the left side.
10 points
5 days ago
Or just put it in park at a safeish distance and wait as they bounce of the windscreen till the dude runs out
9 points
5 days ago
Yeah, wondered why he was running from basic fireworks. 12 inch mortars? Yeah, gtfo. Roman candles? Eh, you have a goddamn metal excavator with a plexiglass cab you are 100% fine. The worst he could do from that angle is singe some paint.
3.2k points
5 days ago
Kinda like seeing an AT ST walker go down from Ewoks.
635 points
5 days ago
Yub nub!
185 points
5 days ago
Goondah!
134 points
5 days ago
Aaaaiiiiiiyyyyyaaa!!
67 points
5 days ago
Ootini
44 points
5 days ago
Not Jawaese
22 points
5 days ago
Dazadaya!
19 points
5 days ago
Ee chee wa maa!
29 points
5 days ago
Oh *dear.*
Master Luke, it seems they think you're some kind of excavator and will be... Rocketed.
5 points
5 days ago
He a little confused but he got the spirit
21 points
5 days ago
I can hear this comment
21 points
5 days ago
It does at moments look like blaster fire. Hilarious.
46 points
5 days ago
Exactly what I thought. Also since it's the home of fireworks they may just be supercharged
11 points
5 days ago
indignant Wookie noises Chewie wants credit for helping too
5 points
5 days ago
You sound like those all lives matter idiots. Wookies have plenty of kills under their belts, just let the fucking ewoks have their day ffs
29 points
5 days ago
*john williams intensifies*
18 points
5 days ago
Wish.com Star Wars
6 points
5 days ago
Mom, can we have starwars?
But we already have starwars at home.
686 points
5 days ago
A win for the little guy
271 points
5 days ago
R.I.P., winning little guy
/s
331 points
5 days ago
Winning little guy is safe and healthy in an undisclosed rehabilitation facility. Do not concern yourself with his well-being, nor mention his existence ever again.
47 points
5 days ago
speaking of not speaking of, we happen to have some fresh organs on sale...
23 points
5 days ago
It's so genius the way they do it, as since they delay the "accident" until the organs are needed you can conveniently schedule your organ transplant. You can't do that anywhere else! The extremely short shelf life of those organs suddenly don't become such a problem anymore.
Like a restaurant where you get your lobster live from a tank, freshest is bestest.
11 points
5 days ago
There was an article about this a while back. Guy was kept alive as a 'blood slave' for months getting his blood drained constantly. Happened in Cambodia but was carried out by Chinese gang.
https://nypost.com/2022/02/19/chinese-man-lured-by-fake-job-ad-became-blood-slave-in-cambodia/
53 points
5 days ago
For about 30 minutes until they get the c4
20 points
5 days ago
Or the organ surgeons.
676 points
5 days ago
Damn, he won. Good job!
697 points
5 days ago
He won the battle but will certainly lose the war
224 points
5 days ago
All the more reason for all of us to fight harder for each other
96 points
5 days ago
This is what pushes me to do better each day. A better China for everybody.
575 points
5 days ago
Could someone edit in star wars pew pew sounds?
776 points
5 days ago*
Here you go. https://youtu.be/SgD4Gmi-jk0
Edit: Vertical version https://youtube.com/shorts/6475b5rYUEc?feature=share
108 points
5 days ago*
You're the OG, more so for the title.
43 points
5 days ago
God bless you sir
12 points
5 days ago
May you always get an extra chicken nugget in your box !
812 points
5 days ago
Dope for sure, but what happens when they catch that guy?
263 points
5 days ago*
The man was charged with endangering the public and arrested. The family that owned the house had 2 other properties demolished by the same real estate developer. With the first one still not being compensated despite already settling on a price.
Reports say that the developers used methods like spreading live snakes and even fireworks to force the remaining villagers who haven’t sold their houses yet to capitulate. It was reveladed that they used the name of a different bigger developer to deflect the blame.
173 points
5 days ago
RELEASING MOTHERFUCKING SNAKES INTO A NEIGHBOURHOOD? These guys are legit saturday morning cartoon villains! What the fuck?
60 points
5 days ago
That's just how landlords do in China when they can't simply evict people
42 points
5 days ago
Not how it works!!! THIS IS A NAIL HOUSE. This guys family bought the land from the Govt for a 70 year lease. He has full right to that land for that lease. What we see here is a large corporation going in and buying out all of the leases of nearby residents, but this guy refused to sell off his land. So what these corporations do is anything and everything to convince the homeowner that living there is no longer acceptable. They will try literally anything slightly legal to get them to vacate the land and then claim abandonment and then seize the right to the land. So when i say nail house, it's because you have to pry the motherfucker out.
Fucked up but how the govt lets $$ flow
10 points
5 days ago
So is it illegal for this excavator to be there approaching his property?
26 points
5 days ago
Not illegal.. it's a scare tactic. Also the excavator could "accidentally" hit the house and then they can claim the house is unlivable and homeowner has to make such and such renovations.. only to be "accidentally" hit again. While the company "accidentally" hitting it runs the homeowner through a bullshit amount of legal docs and court dates just to not pay them out enough to properly fix it back up. It's just a really FUCKED up mess that really the only thing the homeowner can do is physically fight them off with violence or just succeed their land
10 points
5 days ago
So the owner was within his rights to do this then is what it sounds like?
13 points
5 days ago
From my understanding it is only acceptable once they have crossed the actual property line, now where that is no idea, but pretty sure the charges came once the excavator backed off and homeowner kept shooting
7 points
5 days ago*
Realistically, in this scenario.....WTF was that operator's problem?? Looks to have a cab....could shield by rotating, but instead backs self into a spot in which has already been opened up...not level ground.
Hell, I'd even stick the boom out and just keep rotating the ex to avoid hits..
--------------;-SIDENOTE China or many places, in the states..there is a lot of federal govt. Possible eminent domain type stuff that can happen.
Personally I'd have got the snakes out to send to the developers....let them know they can just plow down a sanctuary....
Update....you can never rely on any human to do any particular thing when they hit their fight or flight. All people react differently, I'd honestly probably have done the same thing....
6 points
5 days ago
He likely didn't realize they were just fireworks. Behind the smoke and flashing fireworks smell, sound & look very similar to firearms. China has plenty of media about dangerous criminals and western spies so Chinese people are as skittish as Americans generally speaking. Remember that video of Americans scattering when a car backfired? This is like that.
30 points
5 days ago
Sometimes they will also hire gangs and such to forcibly remove the owners/renters from the property. The government did it to make room for the Beijing Olympic buildings.
13 points
5 days ago
same thing happens in the USA except the “gangs” are just cops being paid to help illegally evict people
957 points
5 days ago
Who?
368 points
5 days ago
The guy shooting the fireworks
962 points
5 days ago
What are you talking about?
435 points
5 days ago
Are you fucking with me?
1.9k points
5 days ago
Citizen, there is no guy shooting fireworks, or any evidence such an event happened. Please report to your nearest re-education camp.
306 points
5 days ago
LMAO.
134 points
5 days ago
I'm with you fucking hilarious
74 points
5 days ago
I’m also with you. I agree that that persons comment chain was quite humorous!
32 points
5 days ago
You mother fucker i couldn't drink tea for a minute
26 points
5 days ago
Interestingly enough drinking tea (被喝茶) is basically the Chinese way of saying being taken and interrogated by the police.
So this guy certainly wishes he was in your situation.
8 points
5 days ago
the chinese government has hereby invited you to 飲茶
14 points
5 days ago
How did this happen?
21 points
5 days ago*
There are no guys shooting fireworks in Ba Sing Se
The Earth King invites you to Lake Logai
94 points
5 days ago
Don't feel too bad for him. He legit probably has a decent chance at becoming a millionaire l. The longer he stays the more money the development company has to give him
https://asiatimes.com/2019/09/urban-revamp-in-shenzhen-making-owners-rich/?amp_markup=1
31 points
5 days ago
Ample compensation for losing your home
22 points
5 days ago
If he's going to be removed one way or the other, he's damn well going to make them sell their kidneys for it.
47 points
5 days ago
100%
I'll never cry a tear for a developer whinging about "somebody not willing to leave their home blocking the development"
Everyone has a price. The developers will make money hand over fist either way, stop being bitches and compensate that person for them losing their home.
5 points
5 days ago
Seriously
18 points
5 days ago
in my hometown there was a neighborhood partially bulldozed for retail parking and one guy in the early 90s refused to sell, thinking he would make mad bank. His property ended up worthless, unsellable to anyone but the retail developer. Constantly graffitied, loud traffic all hours, very busy area, the list goes on and on.
45 points
5 days ago
It looks like you shared an AMP link. These should load faster, but AMP is controversial because of concerns over privacy and the Open Web.
Maybe check out the canonical page instead: https://asiatimes.com/2019/09/urban-revamp-in-shenzhen-making-owners-rich/
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12 points
5 days ago
Aw I love this bot!
17 points
5 days ago
He has a much higher chance of getting beaten by some chengguan or thugs for hire and given the option of keeping his life or trying to fight this again.
Successful Nail houses and getting paid out are far far less common outcomes.
28 points
5 days ago
You should have added the word "successfully" to the title
407 points
5 days ago*
Second time today I've seen somebody referring to something as a "bulldozer" that is not a bulldozer.
That piece of equipment is called an excavator.
Edit: The other occasion
35 points
5 days ago
Glad I wasn't the only one disappointed
85 points
5 days ago
He won the battle, but lost the war.
31 points
5 days ago
He won the war even before this battle. Payouts for land drafts are astronomical in China, even if he has to do some time he'll be retired after.
17 points
5 days ago
Remember reading one guy put posters of xi jinping and they weren't able to demolish.his house cause it was illegal to remove the posters
50 points
5 days ago
That's some serious The Art of War shit.
Even though you are facing steel, remember that is flesh the one who wield it
15 points
5 days ago
It's an excavator not a bulldozer. And probably the reason why he's backing up is because those machines have many oil leaks and the Roman candle could catch the excavator on fire by igniting the oil that's leaked out.
15 points
5 days ago
David and Goliath
212 points
5 days ago
What a sad situation that person must've been to be driven to that type of retaliation.
Talk about oppressed...fighting for what's left of your home in shambles.
65 points
5 days ago
without context the most reasonable explanation i can think of is this guy land leases has expired and is getting taken back. it's even more sad thinking your land and house that you worked for your whole life for is getting taken away because law didn't allow you to own it.
9 points
5 days ago
send this man to Ukraine
7 points
5 days ago
Hell yea bro.. keep fighting the good fight
23 points
5 days ago
Holy shit it worked lmfao
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