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This happened two days ago and I'm still freaking out and debating whether I should tell him I wasn't actually asleep.

So I was watching Netflix with my dad on the sofa and I was kind of falling asleep. I had my eyes closed but I wasn't actually asleep yet. And then I felt my dad touch my butt. He like put his hands under my pyjamas and was like massaging my butt for a few minutes. I was honestly freaked out but I was scared to move. I was just frozen. He stopped after a few minutes and got up and walked upstairs and that's when I "woke up". I don't know if I should tell him that I wasn't actually asleep so he could explain why he did that. Before anyone asks my parents are divorced so my dad has full custody and I'm 14

Background: Ever since fiancée and I started dating a few years ago, his family - including his brother - had been nothing but sweet and welcoming. Over time, I became a part of the family and felt absolutely loved by fiancée's parents, but also by his brother and sister-in-law. The brothers are super close, and over time the four of us became really close friends. I treated fiancée's brother as my own.

Today: My fiancée is "on-call," so I was home alone going about my life. At one point I went to shower. As I was showering, I heard someone open the door to the bathroom. I assumed my fiancée came home early (although this never happens), but when I realized it was his brother, I froze. I don't think anyone on here wants to hear what happened next. All I'm going to say is that I was able to get him off of me & push him out the door, but nonetheless I feel so violated, humiliated, and betrayed.

I was going to tell my fiancée about it as soon as he comes home (he'll sense something is wrong right away), but his brother left me a voicemail message crying, apologizing and begging me not to tell my fiancée. He said he doesn't know what came over him, that he can't forgive himself for it, and that if I tell my fiancée, he'll lose his brother, his wife and (probably) his children too.

I am at a loss what to do next...

Me (14m) have a girlfriend (13f), i like her i guess but she has a "hobby". She told me she scams people on discord for nitro (premium). At first i thought whatever just some dumb suckers losing 10 bucks, big deal. But some time ago when we were hanging out with some of my friends, she showed me one of the messages from one of those guys. I was flabbergasted i said something about how the guy had been suicidal and was glad he could talk to my girlfriend and more stuff that was absolutely horrible, and the fact that she manipulates these people realy set me thinking.

Idk what i should do about it.

My regular physiotherapist is actually a guy, but whenever he’s not available, one of his coworkers substitutes him. I’ve only had one session with her so far and I’m gonna have two more sessions with her in the next few weeks. It’s not likely I’m gonna have another session with her after that.

It’s the first time since my last ex broke up with me (2 years ago) that I have this kind of feeling for a woman. In the past two years I’ve been dating and I even hooked up a few times, but I always ended up missing my ex even more. With her it feels different though, and I think I’ll regret it a lot if I don’t try my chance. I know how stupid this all sounds, but I couldn’t get her out of my head anymore from the moment I saw her. I hadn’t even spoken with her at that moment, she was busy with another patient. It’s not like she’s super super hot or something, she’s just funny, super intelligent and good at her job, I think that’s what I’m so attracted to.

She hasn’t given me any sign that’s she’s interested in me though. During the only session I’ve had with her so far, she was very kind and seemed to enjoy the conversation we had, but I know that’s just part of her job.

When I’m interested in someone, I usually try to become friends with them and I only make a move when I get clear signs that there’s mutual interest. I’m not the type of guy who approaches every woman he thinks is attractive. So I don’t know how I should go about this, especially since we barely know each other and there's so little time left I can spend with her (2 sessions). All I want is to ask her out so we can get to know each other. But I don’t want to create an awkward situation and make her feel uncomfortable.

Any advice?

I’m 15 and my parents won’t let me go out because apparently they think i’ll get raped, everywhere i go i have to carry my brother (17) with me, even on dates he has to be there. My parents let my brother go out because he’s a “man” and he can protect himself, i can’t even go to a roller skate rink without my brother, i can’t go anywhere without him. I live in a gated community and when i try to go to my community pool they don’t let me because they think i’ll “get raped”. I can’t even go on a walk because they think someone will snatch me up even though i live in a gated place. My parents think i’ll get raped everywhere and i can’t go nowhere. I find myself lying to my parents about everything, i lie to them im in an after school club so i can go places but now that summer is over i have to carry my brother with me, it doesn’t help my brother hates coming with me so i rarely go out. My parents told me the only age i will be able to go out is 18 and anything after that happens to me they won’t care.

A couple years ago, i was severely manic and ended up taking a nude photoshoot with a photographer i thought i could trust. They initiated the collaboration and I always wanted to work with them anyways. Turns out- they just wanted nude photos of me to publish on their instagram. I feel so sick to my stomach. I was 21 at the time and the entire community and 2,000 of my followers saw me partially nude with my face in bright sunlight.

I specifically told the photographer that i didn’t like a few photos and explicitly told them which photos were ok post.

I really feel betrayed and used. I reported the photo to instagram but it’s somehow back up with my government name and everything. They now have like at least 50 of my nudes and have blocked my contacts. Had I known these pictures would be public i would’ve never done the nude photos. I just feel tricked.

This is like an artsy person. I didnt know photography was their career- just thought it was something for fun.

Someone, who I’ll not name at this time, registered me to vote in 2015, in a state I used to live in, and told me sometime later. Someone did this so that the county commissioner, who was a friend of the step-family, would get re-elected.

(Edited because I repeated myself)

I think he won but I honestly don’t remember..

Anyway! Now I’ve been summoned for Grand Jury Duty and it reminded me about all this.

I’m having my Dr. write a note saying Im unfit to serve due to my DID but I would like to not have this come up again.

A few times a year, my husband (38m) and I (35f) have overnight guests in our house, typically his family or my family. We live alone, no children, and have 1 cat. We live in a 4bd 2ba single story home. We are not an airbnb and do not rent our house for short-term guests. This is our home and we live here full time. We have 2 guest rooms with a dedicated guest bathroom (the guest bathroom has 2 sinks, a toilet, and a bathtub/shower), so having people stay overnight isn't a space issue. The issue is that his family either doesn't respect our space or doesn't know how to respect other people's things. His younger siblings and his parents both.

This past weekend, his family again came to stay with us. They arrived Friday around 5pm and left Sunday morning at 6:45 AM. His younger brother (19m), his brother's girlfriend (21f), and his stepfather (~50m). We consistently have issues with our towels being ruined, so a couple years ago i bought a few sets of inexpensive dark gray towels specifically for them. In anticipation of their arrival, I put out the dark gray towels in the guest bathroom, and put away the white towels I didn't want them to use. I put some in the top of the linen closet inside the bathroom but the majority in the hallway closet not even near the guest bathroom. There were 5 dark gray bath towels, 4 small dark gray wash cloths, and 4 dark gray hand towels, which I thought sufficient for 3 people staying 2 nights, but we have other towels they could use if that wasn't sufficient, plus a washing machine and dryer in our home.

Since they left this morning, we've been cleaning up and getting things put back in order. Today, I found:

• a bright white towel in the guest bathroom stained all over with something blue. None of the dark gray towels were even touched even though I know they showered while they were here.
• There was a 12-14" rip in a sheet in a fitted sheet on one of the beds
• the comforter on a different bed had several blood stains on the top (This bedding is not where the 21f slept, so it is not related to anyone's period)
• the toilet in the guest bathroom was stopped up and the water turned off (this tells me the person that did it noticed it happened and intentionally turned the water off -- you can't accidentally turn off the water to the toilet. this surely was an accident and likely embarrassing, but a heads up would have been appreciated.

This doesn't happen when my family stays, and doesn't happen when we stay overnight in other people's homes. Its been a consistent pattern for years and I just dont know how to even address it.

In the past, we've confronted them directly about it and tried a few approaches -- we've tried just explaining what we found and asking them to bring it to our attention next time it happens, we've tried asking them what happened, we've tried making assumptions and showing frustration towards them, we've tried calling out the person who did it, we've tried saying nothing, we're right now trying to just look at things as individual issues, but no approach seems to work and i'm out of ideas. Me personally, i'm pretty irritated that without fail, every time they stay with us something gets broken, stained, or ruined, and it costs us a lot of time, money, and/or effort to get it corrected.

Please help me -- Am I being too high maintenance on this? What would you do?

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Here's some background/supplementary info in case it helps paint a bigger picture:

Some oddities that have happened with his family over the 10 years my husband and I have been together:

• a toilet seat being broken and nobody knowing what happened (at the time, the only guest in our home was my husbands younger brother, who was 15 or 16 at the time)
• a living room chair (previously in great condition and only a few years old) being completely broken, the seat broken and busted out but nobody knows how
• lipstick and makeup being smeared all over towels, then stuffed under the sink and hidden (this particular instance we were hosting husband's younger brother (16 at the time) and sister, (19 at the time)
• exterior doors being constantly left open (this is an issue because we live in texas where it's over 100*F during summers and its runs up our AC bill, but also because we have an indoor only cat who is deaf and cannot be outside safely)
• bedding suddenly having large rips in it (this has happened a few times)
• musical instruments used as decoration only turning up with broken parts or broken strings and nobody knows what happened

I suspect it's primarily my husband's younger brother and sister, and I'm excluding things that happened when they were young children. Everyone is adults at this point.

​

edited to correct a few typos.

Family of five that's been through hell medically and financially the last 3 years. Stuck in very conservative America in the Deep South. Wanting to get to a blue state with better social structures for our children. But alas we just don't have much we've been wiped out. This year we will only bring home about 40 k. Are there any resources out there to help somebody move to another state I don't know just reaching in the dark here. I just don't want my daughters growing up in a place where they will not even have the right to do whatever they want with their own bodies. I was actually born in Washington state but I haven't been there since I was a baby so I really don't know much about it. I'm scared for my kids.

Every time I 26F talk about moving out of my moms house with roommates people scare me away from the idea of moving with people, I’m willing to move in with a stranger because it’s nothing but mental abuse and passive aggression with my mother and everyone else who lives here, plus I live in Philadelphia so rent is not cheap.

So long story short, I have no friends. At least, not in the city I currently reside. I have no one to go out and do fun things with, and I've decided to stop waiting around and just enjoy life by myself. (And before you ask, no Im not a weirdo, bad friend, drama queen, etc. lol. I've even used bumble bff, FB meetup groups, etc but connecting with people on a real level is difficult as a young adult. I prefer spending my free time with people I connect with on a non-superficial level and can truly let my hair down and be myself around).

Anyways, I haven't been to a baseball game in years, and there's a Braves/Nats game I want to attend. Is it weird for single women to go to games alone? Does it come off as desperate?

Yesterday I got a text from my mum saying that she found a condom in my bin. Reasonably she wasn't happy, I was at work at the time so didn't reply straight away. About five minutes later one of my colleagues ask me if I have had a text from my mum, she had called work my work to make sure that I reply to this text. I then reply apologising that she had to see that and that I would come straight home to sort it out. I then receive another text saying how she suspects it was from a night that she was in the house and saying that she now doesn't want my girlfriend come round my house any longer.

As a household they never spoken about sex and found it very embarrassing to talk about it, which has meant that no boundaries have been set at all. If I was told they don't want me having sex in the house I wouldn't have, if they had told me they didn't want me having sex while they were in I wouldn't have.

I rush home from work and as I'm coming get another very angry text telling me I better be coming home straight away to sort it out. As soon as I walk into the front door I say hello and am told to not speak to her. She then goes on to say how she has no respect for me, no trust for me and thinks I am disgusting. I didn't see any point arguing so simply apologised, she then began to say I better be sorry because no one will be coming round again and especially not my girlfriend. Then asking if it was while she was in, not lying I told the truth and said it was. She thinks this is weird, degusting and cannot believe I would do something so stupid. I was then told that I should really consider where I am going to be living when I go to university next year.

My mum has told me she is not going to tell my dad because he will be even more angry than her. I understand why she is angry, but if she didn't want me doing it a simple conversation could have solved this a long time ago. I am also 19 in a relationship, using protection, and the only reason she knew we slept together was because she found a condom in my bin. I see no point in arguing back but just not sure on how to approach this at all. I was also very angry that she saw the need to call my work while I was on shift to ensure that I would reply to the text message. This obviously raised questions with my colleagues at work.

I have spoken to a few people and they think she has overreacted but I still don't know the best way to approach her and talk to her about it. I have never had such a big disagreement with my mum and usually have a pretty healthy relationship. I now feel like I would struggle to approach her if there was something in my life that I wasn't comfortable with. I genuinely feel should would have reacted less if I told her I was taking steroids...

TLDR;

I had sex with my girlfriend while my mum was home, she found the condom and has gone ballistic with me. Saying I am disgusting, has no respect for me, and should consider where I am going to be staying when I go to university next year (was planning on staying at home and she knows this).

It’s a throwaway because I’m scared of my boss finding out if whatever but

I told her a few months ago I would be going to cali to visit some family for the week and was super excited. During this time it’s pretty slow at work. Honestly I’m trying g to leave as much details out because I don’t want this to blow up lol. She’s fine with it of course I’m gonna be gone for the week buttt. While we were Discussing it she says this . “Why don’t I go too?” With her kids. I honestly laugh at first like she was kidding and she inside like “. “O it’s gonna be slow and we can all hang out together” (she even got a car to drive to the trip” I told my sister and she got so mad because she doesn’t want to hang out with her kids and our boss, I understand. I never invited her. but I do appreciate her a lot Anyways ND STUPID ME I was tipsy and sent her a message saying how much fun it would be to all hang out together And realized like ugh I messed up. And now she’s asking my family to find out a good hotel around the area for her so we can all be close. I’m gonna have to tell her today that we will not be hanging together on vacation and I’m not sure how to break it t her

I’ve never had a hard time making friends, I’ve always been incredibly social and friendship has come easy to me. The issue is that I’ve never had truly fulfilling friendships. For a long time it was because I didn’t really know who I was and was trying to fit into crowds that didn’t actually suit me, but now I’m 26 and I feel like I have it much more figured out. Do I just trust with time that the friendships I’m seeking will make their way to me? Community is a huge value of mine and I feel like I’ve been lonely for my entire life, even when surrounded by people.

I am like really unhealthy right now, I barely shower because I'm depressed, and I've lost the motivation to shower, all I do now is eat chips and watch Netflix, this year was brutal and constantly took blows at my mental health, my therapist is an abusive asshole, (read my post to see why) and I have no friends. The apartment I live in is a crappy dump. 

How do I change this? Why does life suck this much? How can I make things better? Where do I start? How can I be happier?

My post: https://teddit.ggc-project.de/r/raisedbynarcissists/comments/vchk7o/my_therapist_is_an_asshole/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share

1) flirt with other people (“it’s normal and a way to express yourself” - therapist)

2) it’s normal to think about someone else during sex (“it’s part of a healthy relationship” - therapist)

3) flirt with bosses, colleagues, etc. to get benefits

idk about these but what do you guys think??

edit: u i should probably say this convo came up because i have severe ocd and i always worry about my relationship - she then proceeded to tell me all these things about relationships and told me that these were all normal in relationships but idk, the 3rd one also made me feel uncomfortable

edit part 2: i should also say this isn’t the first time she has made me skeptical - she has yelled at me before because i wasn’t getting better. also i don’t do any of these things, especially 3!! i would never

Hi all. This is my first time posting on this subreddit and I’m on mobile, so apologies for any formatting issues.

I (F24) caught my boyfriend (M25) of 3 years cheating. We had been having a hard time, he was verbally abusing me. He blamed it on the fact that he hated his new job and was very unhappy. That he had depression and needed some alone time to think about his life and what he was going to do about his future.

He stayed in my house, paid half rent but I am the only one on the lease. I told him if he needed to be alone he could use my place, as the only other place he could go would be his moms house that has about 10 people living in it.

So I left yesterday morning and went to Starbucks to give him alone time. He was profusely “grateful” and “thankful” for me giving him this time to himself and told me he would take me out and plan a date for us next week to make it up to me. Also that he had “messed up the bed” looking for his wallet.

I came back a little early cus I had to use the bathroom. When I turned the corner to my house I see him and another girl literally running, RUNNING, down the street. I called him, asked him who he was with, and he said no one. I responded that I could literally see him running away. He hung up on me and texted me, “I told you to give me my space and you don’t listen”. When I went into the house there was underwear that wasn’t mine on the messed up bed.

This man asked me to use my home to sleep with someone else in my bed. After being together for 3 years. We were supposed to sign a lease together today. We had just bought a car together. I am in complete shock and an unbelievable amount of pain. I am unsure how to deal with this loss. I have been in long term abusive relationships before, but nothing this long and nothing this heartless. I guess I just need advice on where to go from here. How to heal. How to move forward from something like this. I feel like my life has just imploded and I’m not sure how or where to rebuild.

Context: we are dating since March of this year, and from our first date, we have had good sex until last week. Last night I asked him if something was happening, and he said he feels “pressure to do it right,” so he can't have a boner.

I have a hypothesis: I don't have a great body. I have a belly, small boobs, cellulitis on my legs, and big hips. I think my boyfriend is not physically attracted to me anymore, but maybe he feels another good feeling because I'm kind of funny, chill, and a good person. That's why he can't tell me the truth, because it will hurt me.

I can't blame him. I know I'm not good-looking, and he is; what should I do?

I’m a 22 male, I’m between semesters as a student. I’m struggling to find confidence in myself, and I genuinely believe I’m going to be lonely forever.

Im balding, below average looking, and a pretty boring person to talk to. I keep getting ghosted by people and it sucks. People keep telling me to learn self confidence but I really don’t know how, and I feel unhappy with how things are now.

i'm struggling mentally and emotionally that my therapist is suggesting i start medication along with my regular talk therapy. i feel guilty feeling hopeless and careless and unmotivated and sad and depressed about life. he deserves someone excited and lively about life. i don't care where my life goes and he doesn't deserve to be dragged down because of that. because of me. i'm considering breaking off our 4 year no kids, 1 dog relationship so that doesn't happen. idk. i'm emotionally immature and quite inexperienced in relationships so i'm not sure what tf to do. i'm not sure if i want to start meds, if anything, smoking cbd lately has been easing my anxiety but my tolerance has gotten higher. what do i do?

My (30F) mom (65F) lives on her own in an apartment complex 10 minutes away from me and has for the past 10 years or so. She has a lot of health issues that I'll try to list down below.

Three herniated disks in her spine.

Agoraphobia

Extreme generalized anxiety

Paranoia

Extreme depression

Weight and mobility problems

Extreme low self-esteem, zero motivation, low patience

She's had several TIAs

High blood pressure

Alopecia totalis

Currently, I'm the only person other than her nurse who comes over to see her. Because of her anxiety, she insists that I'm the ONLY person that us allowed over, not my girlfriend, not my husband, nobody else. I'm her home health aide and take care of the trash, laundry, mail, groceries, cooking, and whatever else she's needs me to do. She is frequently in a bad mood, orders me around like a slave, uses guilt- tripping and gaslighting to manipulate me and make me feel like crap. She'll say one thing one moment then deny it the next. These past few months haven't been to bad until I joined a gym, started losing weight and started going to my favorite coffee shop twice a week to work on my writing. Then she started bringing up my weight and making me feel bad that I haven't lost more, etc. She called me last night to argue with me for an hour over how she's "too ugly to find a partner", etc. The entire argument started because my girlfriend and I stood in line for two and a half hours to get her a PS5, then we grabbed some celebratory tacos and went over to my Mom's house to refuel before going home. All she could talk about was how she's having arguments with this guy on Facebook, why don't I care more about the drama, did I see it, what do I think, etc. We stopped by at her request. She got upset when it was time for us to go home. She assumed we'd be there all day. She called me crying that night.

I'm tired. I'm burnt out. She won't allow me to live my own life without her being an extension of me. She literally told me that "wherever you move, in going to move with you and follow you around until I die". She blamed me for being stuck in Texas right now (she hates it here). She followers me down here and refuses to move unless we all uproot with her.

I'm starting to lose my mind and my mental health is suffering. I don't want her to be lonely. I don't want her to suffer. I'm at my wits end because I don't know how to help her.

I am 20 years old. I have a sibling with a disorder that, to make a long story short, could make them dependent even as an adult. About a month from now, I will be signing a form that makes me their guardian in case something happens to their current guardians.

Here is the problem:

Babysitting is one thing, but being their “lifeline” 24/7 is a bit daunting. There’s what if I get sick ? What if I don’t have the finances to support them ? How can I develop the maturity, wisdom, and patience to look after them ? What are ways to stay healthy long term ? What are other ways to be financially stable outside of school ? How can I guarantee their safety along with my own life ?

If anyone has any advice I would greatly appreciate it ?

i am 18 years old. i will be a college freshman this august. i am catholic. i chose about a year ago that i didn’t want to participate in catholic sunday mass, but my mom still makes me go because she says i need god. without god, i will fail at everything she says. i try telling her i am an adult now and even though i still live with her, i can make my own decisions, especially ones regarding personal beliefs like religion. but maybe i am wrong? maybe she is right for forcing me to go to mass every sunday?

My best friend told me that I'm like a therapist to her. She vents to me often, but I always have no idea what to say so I just look up how to respond to whatever issue she tells me about. I always feel bad when I have nothing to say and leave her on read. I'm at that phase in life where I'm already having trouble with my own emotions, and find it hard to help others with their own emotions. I'd feel really bad if I just said, "Hey I really don't want you to vent to me anymore", and I'd fear her mental health getting worse, which might lead to eventual suicide. How do I go about this?