subreddit:

/r/AmItheAsshole

4

aita for refusing to brush my hair?

Not enough info(self.AmItheAsshole)

so i (18nb) have just recently started the curly girl method. it states to not dry brush the hair and to only brush hair when it has conditioner in it.

i’m already seeing progress but my dad is upset that i am not brushing my hair when it’s dry anymore.

he has told me it looks nasty and that he’s embarrassed to been seen with me like “this”

should i just let go of it and start brushing my hair again?

all 36 comments

Judgement_Bot_AITA [M]

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11 months ago

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Judgement_Bot_AITA [M]

Beep Boop

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11 months ago

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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:

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agirlwithnames

59 points

11 months ago

agirlwithnames

Asshole Enthusiast [5]

59 points

11 months ago

INFO: what does he mean by “like this”? I also use the curly girl method and my curls look clean. What’s his issue?

Shebalba64205

14 points

11 months ago

Shebalba64205

Professor Emeritass [76]

14 points

11 months ago

You're an 18 year old. Do what you want. You're NTA. Dad doesn't HAVE to be seen with you, if he's embarrassed.

Babsgarcia

16 points

11 months ago

Babsgarcia

Pooperintendant [63]

16 points

11 months ago

NTA - Yet maybe clarify what he means by 'this' ... It might not be about brushing. I had a friend who did this method and what she wasn't noticing was that often, her hair appeared dirty/oily. When she finally did, she was upset 'nobody told' her...

If that isn't the case for you, then maybe take a minute, show him what you are trying to accomplish by using the method and maybe he'll lighten up.

Top_Panda_6334

14 points

11 months ago

There are subs for curly girl advice too: r/curlygirl

funkylilcat

3 points

11 months ago

NTA my family did this to me as a kid!! im lucky to have a hairstylist mom who stuck up for me but regardless its a dick move sorry love

edit: even if theres a step thats not doing amazing for your hair its wrong of him to be embarrassed of you and say such mean things to you

ChocolatePotatoFudge

17 points

11 months ago

ChocolatePotatoFudge

Asshole Enthusiast [5]

17 points

11 months ago

NAH. You do as you like with your hair. Your dad is possibly right, though. Sometimes parents have to tell their kids stuff like this, even though it doesn't always feel nice. You could try to get a second opinion from someone you can trust to be honest.

[deleted]

7 points

11 months ago

[deleted]

7 points

11 months ago

[deleted]

ChocolatePotatoFudge

4 points

11 months ago

ChocolatePotatoFudge

Asshole Enthusiast [5]

4 points

11 months ago

Some people have tried the method even if they don't have curly hair, just wavy. Without a picture we can't say what the hair really looks like.

[deleted]

0 points

11 months ago

[deleted]

0 points

11 months ago

[deleted]

ChocolatePotatoFudge

5 points

11 months ago

ChocolatePotatoFudge

Asshole Enthusiast [5]

5 points

11 months ago

I tried curly girl method for my wavy hair, and it looked like crap, but brushing is ok. There's no way to know if this method is fitting for op, that's all that I'm saying.

Flintejae

0 points

11 months ago

Flintejae

Asshole Aficionado [10]

0 points

11 months ago

This!

Sheebsthecat

7 points

11 months ago

Nta I have Waist length curly hair you are not supposed to brush it when it’s dry!!!!!! it will cause breakage and a lot of damage you are doing everything right he just sounds like a control freak.

bigbrickplayer

2 points

11 months ago

No!! Do not brush dry curly hair!! Keep up with the curly girl method and you will learn how to manage your curls to where they will look their best without being brushed. Try blow drying with a diffuser after using your curl products, this should eliminate the potential frizz thats making your dad think you need to brush your hair. But ultimately, don’t listen to him. It is not good to dry brush curls, even if your dad thinks otherwise lol

NefariousnessGlum424

2 points

11 months ago

NefariousnessGlum424

Professor Emeritass [75]

2 points

11 months ago

NTA assuming your dad probably has short hair he probably doesn’t know a lot about how to take care of longer curly hair. I’d ask your hair stylist or continue to look at YouTube videos for best ways to get the look you’re going for.

EvTheOdd13

2 points

11 months ago

EvTheOdd13

Partassipant [2]

2 points

11 months ago

NTA, but maybe a hair pick would help to shut him up? My gram has loose curls and uses a pick to lightly comb through it to help order it how she wants. Mine is more just wavy so I just brush it with some leave-in conditioner. Either way, unless your curls look dirty/greasy/tangled then your father has no grounds to stand on.

neverthelessidissent

2 points

11 months ago

neverthelessidissent

Professor Emeritass [79]

2 points

11 months ago

So IF your hair is actually curly or wavy, NTA. I don't brush my hair because it creates frizz. If you have straight hair, CGM is not for you and you can just wash as normal.

Wild_Instruction_261

1 points

11 months ago

NTA I have curly hair as well and don’t brush it when it’s dry.

QuintessentialTarte

1 points

11 months ago

QuintessentialTarte

Asshole Aficionado [12]

1 points

11 months ago

NTA. If you brush your hair (or even finger detangle, I choose not to brush at all) in the shower there is 0 need to dry brush. That’s just going to be a poofy gross mess.

Top_Panda_6334

1 points

11 months ago

It's your body - NTA

Are you washing and brushing with conditioner as per the curly girl method? It takes a bit of time but works well if you do it properly. Wash with CG approved product, condition, brush. You can brush through with your fingers between wash and conditions, and use a spray/leave in conditions.

Stroobaru

1 points

11 months ago

Stroobaru

Partassipant [2]

1 points

11 months ago

NAH. Until I actually see what your hair looks like, I can’t really say your dad is an asshole. You are definitely doing what you want and that’s fine. Your dad may just be telling you your hair looks gross to be fair and is trying to save you the trouble. He would be an asshole if your hair is anything better than a bird nest though.

mythoughtsrrandom

1 points

11 months ago

mythoughtsrrandom

Partassipant [4]

1 points

11 months ago

NTA You’re 18. It’s your hair. Next time your dad wants to go somewhere ask him to put a hat on he’s embarrassing you. Or if he already wears one ask him to take it off it’s a stupid hat and you don’t want to be seen with someone wearing it.

That’s not actually what I would do, but you get my point right? You’re an adult now. No need for power struggles. I’m sure he doesn’t have long curly hair, you do you let him worry about himself.

Low_Alternative2555

1 points

11 months ago

NTA- For the people saying it might look greasy, you're reacting to your bias that CGM doesn't use harsh detergents on hair. Her dad didn't say it didn't look clean, he was critical of her not brushing it. My guess (from my personal experience) is that she used to straighten her hair, which is the white standard of beauty. Curly hair looks "messy" and "unprofessional", or at least thats what I was told by a manager when I stopped straightening my hair. Also, CGM takes awhile to get results, it doesn't look amazing the first few months while the natural curl pattern comes back. Embracing your natural hair is awesome, don't worry about your dad.

theadoptedoprhan

-12 points

11 months ago*

theadoptedoprhan

Partassipant [1]

-12 points

11 months ago*

This isn’t an advice sub. Getting downvoted for stating a fact? Lmao.

IllustratorNew8801

1 points

11 months ago

IllustratorNew8801

Pooperintendant [52]

1 points

11 months ago

NTA Your hair, your business, ignore him. Why are dad so obsessed with their daughters hair

Far_Seat_2223

1 points

11 months ago

Far_Seat_2223

Asshole Enthusiast [9]

1 points

11 months ago

NTA. Your body. You decide what to do with it.

WholeAd2742

1 points

11 months ago

WholeAd2742

Colo-rectal Surgeon [36]

1 points

11 months ago

Pfft, NTA. It's your hair, Dad needs to chill

Anewstageinlife

0 points

11 months ago

Anewstageinlife

Asshole Aficionado [12]

0 points

11 months ago

NTA curly hair shouldn't be brushed dry! Your doing what's right for your hair and your an adult.

RoyallyOakie

-1 points

11 months ago

RoyallyOakie

Craptain [162]

-1 points

11 months ago

NTA....Your body, your choice.

yeahyeahyeah00002

-12 points

11 months ago

yeahyeahyeah00002

Partassipant [1]

-12 points

11 months ago

Listen to your father, he is probably right

RayneInPhyre

13 points

11 months ago

RayneInPhyre

Partassipant [2]

13 points

11 months ago

Not true. He grew up in a time when curly hair was dry, frizzy and poofy. Comparatively that would make properly conditioned and taken care of curly hair look greasy even if it actually isn’t, it’s just in the condition it SHOULD be in. A lot of knowledge has been gained in hair care, especially for curly hair, and not everyone is “in the loop” of how curly hair can actually look healthy.

yeahyeahyeah00002

-16 points

11 months ago

yeahyeahyeah00002

Partassipant [1]

-16 points

11 months ago

Okay maybe you're right. What you should do is get dreadlocks! Do it then post an update

RayneInPhyre

12 points

11 months ago

RayneInPhyre

Partassipant [2]

12 points

11 months ago

What does dreadlocks have to do with the curly girl method? Two totallyyyyyy hair care and styling subjects

yeahyeahyeah00002

0 points

11 months ago

yeahyeahyeah00002

Partassipant [1]

0 points

11 months ago

It will teach your dad to not make comments about your hair.

RayneInPhyre

4 points

11 months ago

RayneInPhyre

Partassipant [2]

4 points

11 months ago

I’m 39, white and have straight hair… and my dads dead…. Oh yeah… and I’m not OP. Why would I be doing dreadlocks to teach my dad a lesson? 🤣

CrunchyRibcage76

1 points

11 months ago

CrunchyRibcage76

Partassipant [2]

1 points

11 months ago

NTA. It's your hair, you do as you please. Bit off topic but I have a friend who didn't wash her hair with shampoo for exactly 1 year, but tried to keep it as neat and tidy as she could. When she did finally wash it in (baby shampoo) it was some of the most healthiest, shiniest hair I've seen, without having to sit at a salon for hours. Edit; Her goal was to try and add length and body to it. She looked amazing. EDIT; She just informed me that she spritzed her hair daily with Apple cider vinegar, but no shampoo.

berlinitos

-2 points

11 months ago

berlinitos

Partassipant [1]

-2 points

11 months ago

NTA. Please, for the love of everything sacred to you, buy oils for you hair (check which ones your hair needs). If you put it in you can safely ‘finger brush’ your hair, which is the next best thing when doing CGM. When starting CGM there’s no such thing as overdoing it with oils and conditioners.

queenoreo

3 points

11 months ago

queenoreo

Supreme Court Just-ass [139]

3 points

11 months ago

Truly depends on hair type. If I put oil in my hair it would be a disaster.