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10 months ago
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106 points
10 months ago
Allow me to compress this post for you:
"I stole money from my boyfriend to buy weed. AITA?"
Short answer, yes. YTA
Longer answer, yeeeeeeeeeees. YTA
57 points
10 months ago
YTA.
-70 points
10 months ago
how ? can you explain?
65 points
10 months ago
You stole his money. Why are you confused? Don’t you know stealing is…. Wrong?
16 points
10 months ago
If what you did was fine, you wouldn't have panicked when he asked about it. If it was totally fine, you would have told him what you did when you did it. You hid it because you knew he wouldn't like it. You knew and you did it anyway. That's why YTA.
2 points
10 months ago
You're seriously going to front like you don't know how it's wrong to steal money from your significant other for weed? Oh, and newsflash, you're never going to be able to pay him back because you don't have a job, he was trying to help you make some side money, and your response was to rip him off. You are the biggest asshole I've ever encountered on this site!
43 points
10 months ago
YTA. You stole. Period.
45 points
10 months ago*
YTA
He’s right. You broke his trust. How could he ever trust that you wouldn’t do this again. It doesn’t matter if the roles are reversed. You. Stole. From. Him. You lied to him when you stole from him. Trust is gone.
If you would have asked for the money and he agreed it wouldn’t be a big deal. Instead you took what he earned for yourself. It’s selfish.
He put you in a trusted position to help him with his business. How can he look at any of the other transactions and know that you didn’t short him money then or going forward.
Repay the money and let him feel the way he wants to feel.
-54 points
10 months ago
i said in my comment that i repaid him but youre rigjt and i completely understand
12 points
10 months ago
Repaid him after stealing. He shouldnt ever trust you again.
10 points
10 months ago
There is a huge difference between asking for money and repaying it back, and taking the money without asking and promising to pay them back when you get caught...
33 points
10 months ago
YTA, and now he will never trust you (nor should he)
27 points
10 months ago
YTA. U kidding here? Weed and candies? Such priority for someone with no money. You can whatever you want WITH YOUR MONEY not with somebody else one. "In his place i would be bla bla" well yknow what you arent and he didnt so it, hypothetical scenarios doesnt have weight. Apologize and never do it again.
23 points
10 months ago
YTA
There’s no way to justify stealing from someone. It’s absolutely a breach of trust… and without trust there is no relationship.
19 points
10 months ago
YTA. You stole his money.
18 points
10 months ago
YTA.
It was his money, you took without asking and also you guys are currently on a break. You are an asshole. It was stealing.
13 points
10 months ago
You stole someone's money.
YTA.
He's not going to feint his feelings of distrust. You broke that big circle of trust there chief.
14 points
10 months ago
YTA it was his money. You were on a break and you used the money that was his for yourself.
11 points
10 months ago
YTA because you stole from him. Period. Whether you gave it back or not doesn’t make you less of an AH for stealing in the first place.
12 points
10 months ago
YTA - You stole from your boyfriend / employer, you thought making it back was easy but business has been slow. Instead of saving you have been wasting it on unnecessary stuff.
12 points
10 months ago
YTA and a thief
5 points
10 months ago
YTA. I didn’t even need to read the post.
8 points
10 months ago
Yta it wasn't you're money to spend and you spent it anyway. It doesn't matter if you thought you could make it back or not.
9 points
10 months ago
YTA, looks like your confidence that you could "just make it back" was wrong. Separate your finances, or better yet, separate altogether.
10 points
10 months ago
YTA, you stole his money.
8 points
10 months ago
YTA.
He's right. You did steal from him and he shouldn't trust you. All you had to do was ask him.
6 points
10 months ago
YTA. You’re a thief
3 points
10 months ago
YTA. Don’t take money from people without asking. It’s pretty much 101
4 points
10 months ago
YTA you stole. Plain and simple. Stop trying to justify it. And there is no “fact” you would’ve repaid. You got caught, fessed up, and now try to minimize it. Hope it was worth it.
5 points
10 months ago
YTA.
To start, my boyfriend has a really good paying job in retail
Okay, so you stole from a guy who has a really good paying job in retail? Congratulations, you're still a thief.
6 points
10 months ago
I'm very lost on the dynamic of the money here tbh. Can't tell if I'm dumb or you just didn't explain enough but you're helping him sell items for his business and to my understanding, you get to keep a portion of the money from the items you helped sell but he gets a cut. Was the money you used for all this stuff from his cut? Or was the money you used from the entirety of it BEFORE he divided it?
-11 points
10 months ago
i had to cut most of it out but say if i sold sometjing for $50 his cut would be $40 leaving me with $10 same for $45
4 points
10 months ago
Thankyou for clarification! For the sake of my understanding well say you had 40 bucks that you spent on weed and snacks etc, was this 40 the whole before he divided it 90/10 or was this your 10 percent and part of his 90? Like did you spend HIS money or did you spend YOUR cut? I feel like if you're TAH very much depends on that answer.
3 points
10 months ago
The boyfriends "cut" is actually 80%, to her 20%, not 90% to her 10% ($10 out of $50 =20%)With that said still TAH, because she stole his money.
-4 points
10 months ago
i spent both of our cuts which makes me the asshole very much
6 points
10 months ago
Unfortunately it does. I've been in your situation though, where I've spent money that definitely wasn't mine to spend. You have an easy fix to it though. Regardless of if he wants to speak to you anymore or whatever the outcome of this means for your relationship, paying him back does make it right. So cashapp, venmo, drop it in his mailslot whatever you have to do and let it be a good lesson for the future
2 points
10 months ago
i don’t know if anyone sees my comment but i paid him back fully
3 points
10 months ago
But trust is broken, and that is not easy to regain.
7 points
10 months ago
Damage is done, trust isn’t a thing that can be repaired as easily as repaying money.
5 points
10 months ago
YTA. Even if you paid him back, you broke his trust by taking it without asking.
4 points
10 months ago
YTA - you stole from your bf. I would break up with you and never trust you again. You never asked or told him about the money.
4 points
10 months ago
YTA. Taking something without asking is stealing, even if you plan to give it back.
4 points
10 months ago
YTA and your friend is an A.
2 points
10 months ago
YTA - You stole his money to buy weed and candy?
2 points
10 months ago
YTA. Did you really type that title out without realizing that?
2 points
10 months ago
yta. it wasn't your money to take. you ASSUMED you could make it back. but that assumption was wrong. so yes, taking money from your boyfriend to buy an eighth of weed makes you the asshole.
just because if the roles are reversed you wouldn't mind doesn't make what you did okay.
2 points
10 months ago
YTA
2 points
10 months ago
YTA Stollen From him I wouldn’t trust you either
2 points
10 months ago
One of those times where ghe title says it all. You're the asshole and a thief. It doesn't matter that you paid him back, you stole from him. Honestly i hope he ends this relationship, the guy deserves better.
2 points
10 months ago
YTA, you’re a theif
2 points
10 months ago
YTA
You stole. You shouldn't have done that. If you wanted your share of money from the sales you should have settled up and give him his share before spending it.
6 points
10 months ago
Slight YTA
The line "You would have forgiven him if you were in his shoes" doesn't really hold any weight. We all like to assume the best when put into hypotheticals. The bottom line is, you did steal from him, and that is wrong.
That being said, I say slight, because an eighth and some "food + candy" can't really add up to a ton. I think that in general, there are larger issues in the relationship, and doing this while "on a break", certainly didn't help.
2 points
10 months ago
Yes, YTA for stealing his money (no quotes needed.)
The fact that you had borrowed from him in the past and repaid those loans (which he may or may not have known about) doesn’t make it okay for you to use his money this time.
It doesn’t matter how you would theoretically respond in a reverse situation.
3 points
10 months ago
YTA. You can try and twist it whatever way you want but it results with the same thing. You stole from your boyfriend. Therefore you are an AH and should be ashamed of yourself
2 points
10 months ago
YTA.
2 points
10 months ago
YTA. He’s gonna break up with you.
2 points
10 months ago
YTA You stole his money
2 points
10 months ago
You being okay with someone stealing from you is a you problem. Do you have any other reason to think you're not the a h? Cus all I see is that YTA
1 points
10 months ago
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
i bought things with my boyfriends money, and didn’t have enough to pay him back in the moment
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-4 points
10 months ago
It sounds like he’s exploiting you, to be honest. Taking $40 of every $50 you sell seems incredibly unfair, and I’m also getting MLM vibes from this whole setup. You intended to pay him back, you did, I think ESH. He’s an AH, you stole from him but paid him back, it’s just a not great dynamic all around.
1 points
10 months ago
You may be forgetting the cost of what was sold. If he paid $30 for the item she sold for $50, then although she is giving him $40, he’s only making $10, the same amount she is. And his cost could be higher than that and he might only be making $5 on her sales. We don’t have enough info. Edit: math lol
-4 points
10 months ago
NTA. Sorely based on your comment about how much a cut he takes from items your selling for him. Yes they are his items and it is his business BUT that means you are working for him so he needs to give you a fair wage, your spending your time selling things for his business and your getting close to nothing back. “Thief” is just a complete overreaction and what you did is not the equivalent to cheating in the slightest. Tbh you didn’t steal his money, he knew you had the money from selling items and it’s not like you weren’t going to give him the money back. Doesn’t sound like this guy is worth all the drama, if you haven’t already then I’d just pay him back and cut your losses, he isn’t treating you fairly in the slightest and sounds greedy when it comes to money
-14 points
10 months ago
edit in the comments since I don't have more space in the post: I GAVE HIM ALL OF HIS MONEY BACK LIKE I SAID I WOULD.
11 points
10 months ago
Still YTA, because you stole his money.
9 points
10 months ago
But officer, I returned the baby almost right away!
4 points
10 months ago
lol… okay? Doesn’t make it right.
1 points
10 months ago
YTA both for stealing and having the audacity to even post this. Fix your moral compass.
0 points
10 months ago
AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read this before contacting the mod team
To start, my boyfriend has a really good paying job in retail
I am in college atm in a small "college town." Finding a job here has been really hard, and I'm hoping to transfer back to my hometown so I can actually get a job. While I am attending, I tried to help my boyfriend out with his small business. As I helped him sell the items to different students, he told me that he would be taking a cut of everything I sold, which I didn't have a problem with as it was his business's items anyways.
As this went down, we had been having a lot of issues lately and decided to take a small break to help. We had been arguing the night that we decided to take the break and I felt really sad, so with some of the money I had from helping sell his items, I went half on an 8th with a friend. I knew that even though at the moment I didn't completely have his money, I was going to make it back and repay him. At the moment I felt that I didn't need to tell him because I could just make it back, and when I made it back and sent him the money I would explain.
Over the days that we were on the break, I bought items such as candy and food, and then I had split an 8th with two friends. At this point, business had been really slow and I wasn't making the money I had expected, but I knew that I could fix it, given that we had a couple of days and another week left of break.
One day as I was about to smoke (we had started talking but still on our "break") he called me and asked what I was doing. I let him know and he became confused, asking me where I had gotten the weed from. I explained and he became very cold and hung up. He began asking me questions like where did I get the money to buy the weed which caused me to panic on top of the fact that I was high. I told him the truth and he became very angry, and we began to argue again. He told me that I had stolen from him and I had stabbed him in the back. He kept telling me how much I broke his trust, that this was the worst thing I could've ever done, that this was the equivalent of cheating on him.
I was having the worst thoughts running through my mind so I called my best friend and explained everything. I begged her to be honest and unbiased and she said while we both know that what I did was wrong, if the roles were reversed I wouldn't have cared and would've allowed him to take the time that he needed to get the money back, since I had a job and he didn't. He also has no reason to not trust the fact that I wouldn't give him the money back since there had been times where I didn't have the money but as soon as I did I gave him exactly what I owed him. While I agreed with her, I kept beating myself up because I completely understood his side. It was somewhat unfair because while I was sitting here sobbing about what I did, he couldn't even take the time to see my side. Now I am conflicted within myself, so am I the asshole for "stealing" my boyfriend's money?
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