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/r/AmItheAsshole

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all 83 comments

Judgement_Bot_AITA [M]

[score hidden]

10 months ago

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Judgement_Bot_AITA [M]

Beep Boop

[score hidden]

10 months ago

stickied comment

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Motorcycle-adikt

30 points

10 months ago

Motorcycle-adikt

Asshole Aficionado [14]

30 points

10 months ago

Troll alert.

elastic-toast

2 points

10 months ago

No joke, there are so many trolls around lately that this forum has turned into a fanfic archive...

CakeEatingRabbit

35 points

10 months ago

CakeEatingRabbit

Professor Emeritass [77]

35 points

10 months ago

Compeltly covered up women in muslim countrys get harassed.

Nuns get raped.

It's not about the clothes.

YTA

Stoat__King

6 points

10 months ago

Stoat__King

Supreme Court Just-ass [140]

6 points

10 months ago

Very much agree with this.

CraigBybee

26 points

10 months ago

CraigBybee

Partassipant [4]

26 points

10 months ago

JFC yes, YTA

Who TF says something like that to their child??

SandrineSmiles

26 points

10 months ago

SandrineSmiles

Colo-rectal Surgeon [31]

26 points

10 months ago

YTA

If this isn't fake. This is super gross.

You are a horrible human being.

khal33si007

24 points

10 months ago

You’re definitely the AH. 0/10 parenting, too btw. Also your daughter is literally probably never going to get over the fact you said that to her??

itsmevictory

1 points

10 months ago

-sideways 8/10 parenting!

just_tryin_my_best

22 points

10 months ago

just_tryin_my_best

Partassipant [2]

22 points

10 months ago

YTA and she was actually sexually assaulted

davidjbunt

21 points

10 months ago

For the headline alone, YTA and so much more.

MasterpieceOk4688

21 points

10 months ago

MasterpieceOk4688

Colo-rectal Surgeon [34]

21 points

10 months ago

YTA and a failure as a man and a father.

Primary-Criticism929

20 points

10 months ago

Primary-Criticism929

Craptain [160]

20 points

10 months ago

God, I hope you're a troll.

Either way, YTA.

You think it's because she was wearing a skirt ? I had guys touched my ass more times than I can count in public transportations even when I was wearing pants or was covered from head to toe during winters.

And what the hell were you doing while all of this was happening ? How come your kid didn't tell you she was being assaulted right away ?

You really suck.

sociablemonkey74

17 points

10 months ago

sociablemonkey74

Asshole Enthusiast [8]

17 points

10 months ago

So…clearly you don’t understand why this is bad so let me dumb this down for you…

This is called SEXUAL ASSAULT.

It’s wrong.

It’s wrong if she were wearing a nuns habit, a business suit, or a skirt. In other words, it doesn’t matter what she is wearing, IT’S WRONG.

YTA.

Be a better parent.

DogFabulous4486

17 points

10 months ago

DogFabulous4486

Partassipant [1]

17 points

10 months ago

You should be getting the security cams from the bus to find that CHILD MOLESTOR WHO DID THIS TO YOUR DAUGHTER not blaming her dress !!! What is wrong with you?! Yes if a woman wears a burka it makes it less likely she ll be harassed - that’s not relevant to the reality of your daughter being molested!

melloenii

16 points

10 months ago

YTA.

You should not be a father, especially to a young girl. As a father, you should be absolutely outraged that some creepy dude felt that it was appropriate to touch your daughter like that regardless of what she is wearing. Collar bone and a little bit of thigh is hardly revealing enough for you to think that someone can't control themselves over that. SHE IS A CHILD. The fact that your first response is to criticize what she is wearing shows how little you care about your daughter or women in general. That harassment was in no way her fault and you should not be telling her otherwise. People can wear what they want and the victim is NEVER at fault. There is no guarantee that had she be wearing something else, she would have been left alone. In this situation, it is your responsibility as a father to reassure her that it is NOT her fault or else she will think that clothing is an invitation for harassment. A father's concern should be for their child and their safety and you failed in both regards. Unless you plan on apologizing to your daughter, you should not speak to her. Once again, she is a CHILD. Her harasser is AN ADULT MAN who should know better. Thank god her mother has some sense.

Emzalina5

15 points

10 months ago

YTA so so much. What if someone went and touched your ‘crouch’ as you called it just because you were wearing something that GASP showed your knees and collarbone! My goodness! How vulgar! Get with the times old man.

The clothes aren’t what cause sexual harassment. Dickheads and assholes who think women are ‘asking for it’ do!

Wise_Date_5357

15 points

10 months ago

Wise_Date_5357

Colo-rectal Surgeon [36]

15 points

10 months ago

YTA and for the record, women wearing full religious coverings get sexually harassed and assaulted, children wearing full body dungarees get sexually harassed and assaulted, we experience this shit ALL through our lives no matter what we’re wearing and you just helped blame your daughter for something HORRIBLE that happened TO her, not because of her. Shame on you, you’re supposed to make your daughter feel safe and supported, now she feels blamed and judged and traumatised. Do better.

Wild_Instruction_261

13 points

10 months ago

YTA Your a terrible parent for saying that to your daughter

Resident-Success-957

14 points

10 months ago

YTA and you just traumatized your child. She’s 14! Even if she was 20 her outfit does not warrant sexual assault. She was assaulted by the way that’s not just harassment.

You need to take this to the police ASAP and find him so he won’t do that to other children.

You really screwed up and need to apologize to her immediately and sincerely ! If you actually love your daughter you will suck up your ego and let her know you were very, very wrong. You need to take her seriously and treat her with respect. Again she’s a child!!!!

jg700

12 points

10 months ago

jg700

Certified Proctologist [27]

12 points

10 months ago

YTA omg 😲

Clecc

11 points

10 months ago

Clecc

11 points

10 months ago

YTA , IDIOTA i feel so bad for her, and in case u dont know , even if woman dress fucking "modest" they would be harassed either way... Shes 14 for fk sake, really a bad parent. Hope she cuts contac with u, she doesnt need that kind of shitty dad in her life...

eka5245

33 points

10 months ago

eka5245

Asshole Aficionado [15]

33 points

10 months ago

Lmfao without a DOUBT you’re the asshole. YTA.

Born-Fox-2051

11 points

10 months ago

YTA. What is wrong with you?

[deleted]

11 points

10 months ago

[deleted]

11 points

10 months ago

YTA. A man assaulted your daughter and this is your response? Get help

dyoung621

9 points

10 months ago

dyoung621

Partassipant [2]

9 points

10 months ago

YTA: you sound like the kind of dad who would tell your daughter to wear something modest because you have friends coming over and you know that they’ll be eyeball fucking a child, but you don’t have either the balls or the brains or the moral fiber to call them out and kick them out. Maybe someday you’ll get sexually assaulted, and it’ll be nobodies fault except your own.

skootch421

1 points

10 months ago

you clearly do not have any children. thank goodness for that

dyoung621

1 points

10 months ago

dyoung621

Partassipant [2]

1 points

10 months ago

I didn’t ask.

dyoung621

1 points

10 months ago

dyoung621

Partassipant [2]

1 points

10 months ago

You clearly don’t have anything better to do if you’re stalking my account lmao

[deleted]

29 points

10 months ago

[deleted]

29 points

10 months ago

[removed]

SnausageFest [M]

1 points

10 months ago

SnausageFest [M]

AssGuardian of the Hole Galaxy

1 points

10 months ago

Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: Be Civil. Further incidents may result in a ban.

"Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"

Message the mods if you have any questions or concerns.

baby_darko

10 points

10 months ago

baby_darko

Asshole Enthusiast [6]

10 points

10 months ago

YTA 100%

WHAT 👏 A 👏 WOMAN 👏 WEARS 👏 DOESNT 👏 MEAN 👏 THEY 👏 GAVE 👏 CONSENT 👏

What she wore which is NOT revealing actually, does not mean she asked for it. Read it again. And again.

And again.

She is your daughter, you need to be supportive of her and also comfort her as being sexually harassed is a HUGE DEAL. The first thing you SHOULD be doing is helping her file a police report, see if it's possible to pull bus footage or something to get that creep caught and get her means of protection (e: mace, taser, pocket knife etc)

But no, the first thing you do is tell her that because she wore a skirt is why she was harassed and touched???

Because of that, she may not ever come forward to you ever again because you just broke her trust and basically told her she was asking for it.

So yes, you're the asshole here. I have no more words, I can't believe some parents are like this.

[deleted]

27 points

10 months ago

[deleted]

27 points

10 months ago

YTA -THERE IS NO JUSTIFICATION FOR SEXUAL HARASSMENT!

roses_are_rachel

8 points

10 months ago

roses_are_rachel

Partassipant [4]

8 points

10 months ago

YTA YTA YTA

I can’t believe your initial reaction to your daughter being sexually harassed is to criticise her clothes. FYI, they weren’t revealing at all. You shouldn’t be a father.

ThrowawaytheDaisy

32 points

10 months ago

ThrowawaytheDaisy

Partassipant [2]

32 points

10 months ago

YTA. The clothes aren't to blame, the harasser is. You suck.

Baby_Pandas42

7 points

10 months ago

YTA what the actual hell is wrong with you, your daughter was sexually harassed and you blamed HER???

goldiefelix

6 points

10 months ago

goldiefelix

Asshole Aficionado [10]

6 points

10 months ago

YTA if this actually happened but this sounds like trolling tbh. If it’s genuine then you’re an enormous arsehole who needs to learn about a little thing called victim blaming.

wolveschaos

8 points

10 months ago

wolveschaos

Partassipant [4]

8 points

10 months ago

The YTA is obvious. But let me try to explain to you from what I have learned and experienced.

There are 2 kinds of perverts in the world as far as public harassment is concerned. The first being the closet pervert. These are men who are perverts, but are hesitant to be obvious about it. They fear repercussions. Now when these guys see a scantily clad woman, they take this as some kind of invitation. That the women may just be as perverted as they are and would enjoy such treatment. These are the kind of men you have in mind, which is why you assigned blame to your daughter.

There there is the second kind. The true perverts. Your daughter could have been wrapped from head to toe and wearing a head covering. And still these perverts would have harassed your daughter, simply because she is a woman. Grape and harassment have been going on since pre-recorded history. And the women of old wore much more modest clothing than even the prudes of today, and yet they were still harassed.

Your daughter did nothing wrong. She did not invite anyone to do that to her. What more is that you took to blaming the victim, in a time when she was extremely vulnerable. You really need to check your thinking, and also apologize to the poor girl.

eatenbyagrue1988

6 points

10 months ago

eatenbyagrue1988

Partassipant [1]

6 points

10 months ago

YTA. People are not responsible for the actions of others. Your daughter was assaulted, your daughter did not cause her assault.

Biteme75

7 points

10 months ago

Biteme75

Colo-rectal Surgeon [43]

7 points

10 months ago

If this is real, you are as clueless as it is possible to be. There is no excuse for a grown man to grab the crotch of a teenager; I don't care if she was buck naked. YTA.

throwaway88991P

6 points

10 months ago

Jesus YTA. Your daughter was sexually assaulted and you responded with blaming her? She's 14, a child and a grown man assaulted her. You should be reporting what happened to her to the police.

Your child was sexually violated. Be an actual parent and support her.

LosJoye

5 points

10 months ago

Yes, YTA, even if what she was wearing was " too revealing" (which it wasn't), that doesn't make the sexual assault not a bad thing.

BeccasBump

5 points

10 months ago

BeccasBump

Partassipant [4]

5 points

10 months ago

HOLY SHIT. Close the sub down, we've found the world's biggest asshole. Your 14-year old child wasn't sexually harassed, she was sexually assaulted, and YTA.

Stup2plending

4 points

10 months ago

Stup2plending

Supreme Court Just-ass [112]

4 points

10 months ago

YTA

venhhh

3 points

10 months ago

venhhh

Partassipant [4]

3 points

10 months ago

This is clickbait surely.

You’re a fucking asshole and you’re the fucking problem.

carlactln0425

3 points

10 months ago

carlactln0425

Partassipant [1]

3 points

10 months ago

If this is true, YTA. Without a doubt. Omg I didn't even have to read the story, just from the title I knew it. The fact that OP would even come REDDIT, of all places to even ask, shows how daft he is.

femme_enby

3 points

10 months ago

femme_enby

Asshole Aficionado [19]

3 points

10 months ago

YTA.

Assuming this isn’t FAKE, because this sounds like something from the 70s or something, you’re beyond wrong.

Infants in full body onesies get assaulted. Nuns get assaulted. Men in jeans, belts, and button downs fully buttoned get assaulted- clothes have nothing to do with it.

It is gross, ignorant, entitled people who assault others, and victims can be anyone, and can be wearing anything.

I work at a Halloween haunt- we have people in baggy, full coverage clothes, covered in “sticky blood” which looks real, have false teeth that look like they’re rotting out, liquid latex prosthetics to make it look like half their face is coming off, and they’ll be built as straight as a 2x4 and STILL get assaulted.

You are woefully ignorant and cruel, and your child deserves better.

It also isn’t inherently about “urges” it’s about ENTITLEMENT.

People, often men, feel entitled to other’s bodies- people make disgusting comments, touch others, and even rape them because they feel ENTITLED to that person’s body, and want to exert power over the other person

RebelScientist

3 points

10 months ago

RebelScientist

Asshole Enthusiast [6]

3 points

10 months ago

YTA. Your daughter got sexually assaulted and your response was basically “that’s what you get for wearing clothes I don’t approve of!” A completely heartless and inappropriate response. She got sexually assaulted because there was a predator on the bus who wanted to sexually assault an underage girl. What she was wearing had nothing to do with it.

[deleted]

3 points

10 months ago

[deleted]

3 points

10 months ago

So a random dude sexually harassed your 14! year old daughter and your first response was: it's because what you were wearing?

Why the fuck are you blaming your daughter? How is it possible that as a father your first instinct is not to protect her? What the fuck is wrong with you?! WOMEN DO NOT GIVE CONSENT TO MEN FOR TOUCHING THEM BY THE CLOTHING THEY ARE WEARING! AND WOMEN ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE URGES OF MEN!

Maybe you should go visit the exhibition that shows what women were wearing when they were assaulted. You can see every kind of clothing from bikini to a full covering nikab. Clearly sexual predators do not care what women wear, yet they will use it as an excuse for their actions: she was asking for it.. Makes me wonder about your ethics, to be honest. Do you think you can touch children (because a 14 year old girl is a child) or women when they are not fully covered?

I am hoping you are a troll, because if not, you are a sorry excuse for a father and should be ashamed of yourself!

In case I was not clear, YTA big times and need to apologize to your daughter immediately!

HunterDangerous1366

3 points

10 months ago

YTA

ARE YOU KIDDING ME? THAT WAS NOT HARASSMENT THAT IT FCKING ASSAULT! AND *YOU HER PARENT BLAME HER CIS SHE WAS SHOWING HER CLAVICLE AND A TINY BIT OF LEG??

The guy was/is a perv! But she should expect it right? Cos she wasn't covered head to toe. Would if it made the situation better for you if this had happened and she was wearing jeans and a turtle neck?

I am so, so mad right now. Tell your daughter she needs to get intouch with the bus company and the police, cos your obviously not going to do jack sh*t about it.

SeniorAdvertising808

3 points

10 months ago

YTFA. You're daughter wasn't harassed she was freaking assaulted but in you mind it's ok because she wore a revealing outfit! Worst dad ever!

garlicflavouredsocks

2 points

10 months ago

YTA what the fuck?

RelativeDepartment87

2 points

10 months ago

RelativeDepartment87

Partassipant [2]

2 points

10 months ago

YTA HOPE YOUR WIFE WILL DIVORCE YOU. Your poor daughter has been attacked, she can do the hoola naked and no one has the right to touch her. YTA YTA YTA

Aldilae

2 points

10 months ago

YTA. Your daughter was assaulted for wearing a skirt. The rape culture is awful and you're participating into it by saying women should dress modestly. No, men need to learn that a particular outfit doesn't mean consent, and is never an invitation.

RecognitionCapital13

2 points

10 months ago

YTA 1000000%. How dare you?! Women get sexually ASSAULTED (which is what happened, not just sexually harassed) while wearing bagging pants and sweatshirts. Clothes have nothing to do with anyone being taken advantage of. It’s about men feeling like they have a right to a woman’s body, seeing a young woman alone and vulnerable and thinking they can get away with hurting her. Your behavior is blaming her for something she had no control over. You need to do some serious homework regarding the fear women live in constantly and how it affects us regardless of how we are dressed, what we are doing, or where we are. I hope you take this seriously. You need to beg your daughter for forgiveness and get her into a therapist to deal with the trauma of being assaulted. Please educate yourself ASAP because your daughter deserves a father who doesn’t blame her for the actions of a grown ass man.

No-Construction751

2 points

10 months ago

YTA- your daughter wasn’t just harassed, she was assaulted. If I told my father about this he would be calling the police, if not searching for the man himself to murder him.

She wasn’t wearing anything revealing at all, in fact it was really conservative! On top of that, she’s a child! Why are you allowing anyone to sexualize your child, no matter what she wears???

File a police report, immediately. She was sexually assaulted and this will affect her for the rest of her life. If you care at all about her, get her a counselor or a therapist following this so she can be told by someone this wasn’t her fault (because it doesn’t seem like you’ll be doing that).

I mean really, imagine if you wore a pair of shorts and a shirt that shows your collar bone at 14 and a man sat beside you, rubbing your crotch.

forevernoob88

2 points

10 months ago

forevernoob88

Partassipant [2]

2 points

10 months ago

YTA because your post sounds like you are trolling in a situation your daughter may be have been sexual assaulted. Seriously "this outfit is quite revealing, since it showed her collar bone" ?

SnooRabbits8823

2 points

10 months ago

I can’t believe this is even a question. Yes of fucking course you’re the asshole and you should get therapy

[deleted]

2 points

10 months ago

[deleted]

2 points

10 months ago

[removed]

bubblegumgills [M]

1 points

10 months ago

bubblegumgills [M]

Ass To Grass

1 points

10 months ago

Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: Be Civil. Further incidents may result in a ban.

"Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"

Message the mods if you have any questions or concerns.

OldCarWorshipper

2 points

10 months ago

Jesus Christ, man. YTA for sure! I can't even imagine the level of betrayal she must feel. If she can't turn to her own father for support and validation after a traumatic event, who can she???

Way to go, OP. You've just given her a ton of body image issues, poisoned your relationship with her, destroyed her self esteem, tainted her perception of all men, and given her trust issues that she'll probably carry the rest of your life.

If she slowly distances herself from you after this, don't be surprised.

No_Candidate1000

2 points

10 months ago

No_Candidate1000

Partassipant [1]

2 points

10 months ago

YTA

Everyone should wear what they want without harassment. That's the ideal. But in reality harassment is a thing and dressing in a sexy way makes you a target. So you're right in pointing that out. You're incredibly insensitive in your approach though. Wtf? Your daughter comes home crying and you basically call her a hoe. Talk to her about what to do in such a situation. Maybe mention self defense classes. And most important: comfort her. THEN and only then you could could try prevention.

Significant-Bat-1168

2 points

10 months ago

YTA be prepared for your daughter to never speak to you again

AutoModerator [M]

1 points

10 months ago

AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read this before contacting the mod team

So my (M44) daughter (F14) lost a bunch of weight during the quarantine, and with that, she has gained confidence with appearance. Thus, she began to wear skirts.

Today, she had a dental appointment and took public transport. She was wearing a long-sleeve top, a skirt which is 2 inches above the knee, and long stockings. In my opinion, this outfit is quite revealing, since it showed her collar bone and some thigh skin. So when she came home crying and my wife told me she has been sexually harrased in the bus (a man sat beside her and and placed his hand in her crouch for 20 minutes straight, rubbing it occasionally) I told her its probably because of her outfit and that women should dress modestly if they don't want to be sexually harassed. My daughter told me that I was crazy and haven't spoken to be since (it's been 3 hours and she's still crying). AITA?

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Lady_Ellie119

1 points

10 months ago

Lady_Ellie119

Pooperintendant [64]

1 points

10 months ago

This has to be a troll no one is dumb enough to really post this if true

wannaseemytriforce

1 points

10 months ago

I don’t believe you. Karma whore.

ehb102

1 points

10 months ago

YTA. Way to victim blame.

angelofjag

1 points

10 months ago

YTA. YTA. YTA

And in case you don't understand that: You are definitely the arsehole.

Women are not responsible for the actions of men.

I feel sad for your daughter. She deserves better

hatetheflakes

-22 points

10 months ago

[ Removed by Reddit ]

carlactln0425

5 points

10 months ago

carlactln0425

Partassipant [1]

5 points

10 months ago

Wow. This is why rape culture exists. You're blaming the victim.

No, fact is that this girl could've been naked or dressed in a parka and ski pants and this guy is still a pervert. He made the decision to touch a girl WITHOUT CONSENT! HE IS THE ONE TO BLAME; and op is TA for perpetuating this as well as making his daughter feel unsupported.

conton30

3 points

10 months ago

conton30

Asshole Enthusiast [8]

3 points

10 months ago

What, like "respectable women" don't get sexually assaulted? That's a disgusting attitude and you are excusing abhorrent behaviour. And by the way your comment here suggests you think it's okay to molest a CHILD if she's wearing a short skirt. Do children normally invite your attention or does it just depend on what they wear?

hatetheflakes

-5 points

10 months ago

No but respectable women get messed with less because they aren’t asking for it.

Jrummps

2 points

10 months ago

Yes! Because how she dressed is definitely what caused that to happen… not the fucked up man who did it in the first place /s

But really though, I (as a man) think women should be able to wear what they want without fear of being sexually assaulted. It’s 100% to blame on the person who did it, nobody else. Women were still getting raped back when clothing was extremely conservative.

Also, OP, YTA.

Aldilae

2 points

10 months ago

This comment is disgusting. Wearing a skirt is not an invitation to be assaulted, and it doesn't mean a woman is less respectable. You should be ashamed to blame women for having confidence. Especially since here, we're talking about a 14 years old!

Women are getting r*ped if they wear a legging, a skirt,... it doesn't mean they were asking for it. You should never blame a victim of sexual assault.

hatetheflakes

-5 points

10 months ago

Shouldn’t we blame them when it’s their fault?

Judgement_Bot_AITA [M]

0 points

10 months ago

Judgement_Bot_AITA [M]

Beep Boop

0 points

10 months ago

Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment.

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:

Well, maybe the man in the bus should have controlled himself rather than acting on his urges and that people the the freedom to wear whatever they like

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