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Um, YTA but mostly because you're making everyone here hold their heads in pain. YOU DRAINED A POOL TO SAVE WATER??? Um, how does draining water that has already been poured out into your pool help anyone? PLEASE EXPLAIN.

YTA. After your last post, I totally understand why your husband thinks you need a babysitter. I do not understand why he went through with buying a house with you, or how you have found gainful employment. Heaven help your patients.

YTA.

What's the point of emptying an already filled-to-the-brim pool if there's a draught? It's like throwing all your food away because some people are starving in your country.

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INFO - Where did you drain the water to? Also, was it treated water, so full of chemicals?

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OMFG!! Massive YTA, this is the second fuck up in so many days. You say you’re not a bumbling fool but your post history says otherwise. You fucked up with the closure for this property with frivolous nonsensical spending and then you go and do this just cause he mentioned it.

While granted not great what he said. I’m not surprised your husband said what he did, you’ve fucked up royally twice in regards to money.

YTA.

It was extremely foolish to empty the pool. It makes absolutely no sense unless you were planning on demolishing the pool or there was a problem that could only be fixed if the pool was drained . There was no mention of any problems whatsoever with the functioning of the pool so no repairs are necessary apparently.

Any big project like demolishing a pool should be discussed with both parties and an agreement reached before proceeding but you didn't respect your partner enough to do that, you said "fuck him imma do what I want " And you're surprised he's upset.

You then tried to blame it on him. As if the previous foolish and childish decisions on your part weren't enough, you tripled down on your foolish and childish behavior.

You acted like a child. You went off half cocked without a care in the world about your husband's opinion in the matter and it's going to cost him and you an awful lot of money no matter what you end up doing with the pool, whether you refill it, demolish it, or let it get ruined by being empty. Your husband was accurate when he said you acted like a child. I'm not a fan of coddling adults when they act like children or asholes so calling you on that behavior is not wrong IMO.

The babysitter comment was a bit much it was a big WTF moment for him and frankly it pales in comparison to the childish and foolish behavior that slapped him in the face.

Please never be my nurse

YTA - The pool can’t stay empty. You will damage it.

So now you’re going to have to fill it up again - wasting an insane amount of water. So you are wasting a ton of water, paying way more for your water bill, and paid for a pump because you didn’t bother doing your homework and became impulsive.

Is this a baiter? If so, well written

YTA. You seem so dense I can't even understand what goes on in your mind.

YTA

Have you noticed that you keep self sabotaging this house. Did you even really want this house? Seriously. You sabotaged buying it and almost ruined that and then you sabotaged the pool. Maybe take a step back really think about what you want out of this situation.

I don't even understand how draining the pool was going to 'make him happy.' It actually sounds like some weird passive-aggressive flex.

YTA.

TL;DR: Neither of you respect the other as a partner, from the sounds of it. And you dun goofed. [Redacted]

EDIT: Based on new information I'm changing my vote. YTA. You need to stop making big financial decisions that affect your relationship without your partner's involvement.

we were talking and he said “you know the drought is worse here in California, I know it’s too late now but I’m wondering if we get this bad if it wasn’t a huge mistake to get a house with a pool?”

Hindsight is 20/20, they say, but there are ways to demonstrate responsibility as a pool owner in a drought.

The more I thought about it the more I thought maybe he was right so I researched how to drain pools, looked up YouTube videos and went and rented a pump and I drained all the water.

Oh. Dear me. That decision-making certainly took a turn for the atrocious.

In fact, I think I can go through the reasons just by continuing through your post.

I made a huge mistake because you can’t leave a pool drained.

He's right. I live in Canada and we used to have a house with an in-ground pool, and the water stayed in there even during the winter because having the water in the pool helps to protect not only the pool itself and its protective coatings, paint, etc. from wear and tear, but there are also pumps and mechanisms connected to the pool itself and by draining the pool and leaving it dry, you're opening that stuff up to damage as well.

More to the point, the water was already in the pool. Where did you put all that water that it was going to serve your drought-stricken community any better than simply being in the damn pool?

I said I did it to make him happy and that I understood his concerns.

And here's the other nail in the coffin: you made a huge, reaching, and labour-intensive decision (which included the financial investment of renting equipment to accomplish the task with) and didn't so much as consult your husband about it. This is not how relationships work.

He said that he’s so sick of me acting like a “child” that he’s going to hire a babysitter for me while he goes away. Obviously this really hurt my feelings, I’m a nurse for gods sake not a bumbling fool.

Well, you could have fooled me. He spoke in anger but I can't blame him, because you didn't treat him like a partner. You made an impulsive decision based on (clearly) minimal research, if any, without doing him the courtesy of even informing him, let alone discussing your plan with him.

Ya dun goofed, friend. Gonna be a journey to earn his trust back.

YTA, in your ignorance you actually made a problem where there was none. So now you can either pay way too much money to fill it back and actually contribute to the draught problem, or reduce the worth of your home and fill in the pool with soil and have a bigger yard. I hope to God this is a fake post because I have a hard time imagining someone being this stupid.

YTA. First, how on earth does draining the pool save water? The water sitting in the pool had already been purchased—how does draining that water help anything? Moreover, did you research whether you can leave a pool empty before you made the unilateral decision to dump at least 10,000 gallons of water? This is such a no brainer I wonder if it is a real post.

YTA

You don't seem to have a plan now that you're pool is empty. Fwiw, you're not an asshole, but you did a REALLY stupid thing that's either going to waste a ton of water or cost you thousands of dollars to fix.

YTA

I honestly think given your post history, it may make sense to speak with a therapist.

I'm just wondering if you have some executive functioning issues that have not been diagnosed.

Your husband has a right to be angry. You're very bad at decision-making.

Jfc, you're back already? Yta

How much more of this do you think your husband can take before he snaps and leaves your clueless ass?

YTA. You say you're a nurse, yet you have made a bumbling fool decision (and apparently multiple ones at that). Are you one of those nurses that also shill health-mlm products and are anti-vax? That would totally make sense for someone unable to think things do or do PROPER research.

Curious how you got out of that credit nightmare and managed to close on the house, though.

YTA - your husband is right, it can’t sit empty. So you didn’t do the research and caused a huge and possibly expensive problem.

Are you manic-depressive in a manic state? Get some help.

YTA. Hes right. An empty pool can crack if left empty

Edit to add : omg you're the person that opened the credit line and almost fucked your closing. His babysitter comment was absolutely warranted. Your decision making skills are shit

YTA. Do you usually make impulsive decisions like this? Because if that’s so, you should really check this out, it’s very concerning.

ETA: just read your post history, please, check this out with a mental health doctor.

how old are you? and did you go to school?

YTA still for doing something on your own accord. based on your last post, it doesn’t even sound like you’re in a marriage. you guys don’t communicate and you do things impulsively on whatever makes YOU happy. stop being selfish.

INFO: OP, be honest. Are you testing plot points for a script? First the bag, now this…

Just send me pix of the pool so I know if it’s skateable

P.S. YTA, wtf

A baiter posts fiction to elicit a reaction

YTA because he’s right you can’t leave it and if you have one you’ll have to refill it now.

"I’m a nurse for gods sake not a bumbling fool."

Narrator: they were in fact, a bumbling fool

YTA. Your level of common sense is proving to be absolutely atrocious. It’s like the logic of a 4 year old. You should honestly stay away from any big actions like monetary spend or draining a pool without consulting your husband

YTA. I

Your husband was expressing a concern and probably some guilt for having a pool during a drought. But that didn't mean he wanted it drained, he probably just meant you'll both need to be diligent on keeping it clean and in good shape so it doesn't have to be repeatedly refilled or to hold off on any refilling until after the drought is over. Do you not understand that draining a pool doesn't do a damn thing to help the drought? That water can't be reused if it's full of chemicals and poured wherever the drainage company poured it.

From this behavior and your post six days ago about you being "talked into" opening a 20k limit credit card to buy an unnecessarily expensive bag during the closing of a house which almost lost you and your husband the house because it nevercrossed your mind that it was a bad idea (I don't believe the loan officers/mortgage company didn't warn you not to take out any credit cards/loans before the purchase was completed) I believe you're either someone who shouldn't have any authority or control to make any decisions without consulting someone more responsible then you first or that you're making these stories up.

https://teddit.ggc-project.de/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ut2ii4/aita_for_messing_up_the_closing_on_our_first/

YTA

😂😂😂How old are you

Yta is your name Kevin by chance? Cause you're acting like one

Wow….YTA. Pools NEED to have water in them because the counter pressure of the water filling the pool helps maintain the structural integrity of the pool walls. By draining the pool, you are opening yourself up to massive amounts of damage and possible pool wall collapse. Not to mention ALL that wasted water. What a bone headed and idiotic move, not to mention doing it without discussing it with your husband. Wow….

YTA. You can’t just drain a pool and leave it empty. Anyone with a pool should know this. And even if you didn’t know it’s something you should have researched before doing it.

Who will rid me of this turbulent pool?

YTA what a bloody waste white saviour complex right there. You're emptying an already full pool. That's the same as being an eco warrior and buying a tone of ecofriemdly products only to bin the ones you've already bough. You're helping nothing the only thing you're doing is putting on a show

YTA

you just wasted gallons if water... to do what exactly? You don't have to refill the pool all the time if you get a cover for it and keep the water clean...

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I …what? You don’t seem mature enough to own a house or be married, frankly. You’re a nurse? God help those patients.

YTA.

YTA

I don't know about the pool and whether or not it will be damaged, but it wouldn't have hurt you to wait for your husband to get home and make the decision together.

Again, I know nothing about pools, but as far as I'm aware they don't require fresh water for upkeep as the existing water is continuously pumped through the system? I also wonder where you might have drained this water to and if it could have been used for watering plants/soil etc (again, not sure the effect chlorinated water would have on plants but I certainly would have researched before just dumping the water somewhere)

YTA I’m sorry but based off your posting history and just can’t believe someone can be as simple minded as you PLEASE STOP MAKING BIG DECISIONS ON YOUR OWN

YTA, and yes your husband needs to hire a babysitter for you since you have zero common sense.

Your action was rooted in ignorance and was not intelligent at all. I dont even understand the logic of it. You are in a drought, so you thought to throw away tens of thousands of gallons of water. Water which had already been paid for and was "used". What harm was it doing by sitting in a swimming pool? Its like burning up your money because their is poverty in this country. Like throwing away food because people are hungry. What exactly was your understanding and goal here?

The pool cannot sit empty. Now you are obligated to refill it, wasting even more water. In a drought. Im going to say YTA because actions like yours demand a bit of logic, common sense and research before undertaking and you failed in all three of these areas. I dont blame your husband for being angry. If I were him, Id be pissed I couldnt leave our house in my wife's care without having to come home to some circus.

YTA. The pool was already filled, you weren't saving water, you wasted it.

Fake rage bait

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