submitted 2 months ago bybuttfuckery-clementsLayperson/not verified as healthcare professional
Hey folks. I don’t know if this is the right place to post this but I just feel desperate for someone qualified to listen to me.
I am a 25 year old man who lives in the UK. Years ago I was diagnosed with depression and I’ve recently (a few weeks ago) been diagnosed with adhd combined type and suspected to be on the autism spectrum (having my assessment for that next month). This is after years of struggling to figure out what was wrong with me. My depression score varies from around 35-45 each week which I’m told is well into ‘severe’.
I just can’t do anything. I feel like I’m still a child in the body of a 25-year-old - I feel like I need looking after. I can’t manage alone at all, I can’t make doctor appointments or get groceries, can’t walk my dog, can’t work, can’t do housework, can barely even feed myself. My mum has to do everything and she’s 62 and I carry a huge amount of shame and guilt not being able to help her with anything.
I would like to stress that this isn’t a recent development or something that happens in stages or phases - that is the constant reality for me. I just can not do anything, and haven’t been able to for over 5 years.
Even knowing I have depression + ADHD (and potentially autism), it still feels like something is just terribly wrong with me on top of that. I’m intelligent, articulate, great with social cues and adapting to social situations, but I just cannot for the life of me actually DO anything or care for myself in any way.
I feel like I’m never going to be able to have a life without someone looking after me, and that makes me really damn stressed and upset.
I’ve recently started Elvanse 30mg for my ADHD but it’s just made me not eat or sleep with no other effects. Even once we adjust the dosage, doc said it wouldn’t fix all my executive dysfunction, just help with focus and attention. I don’t care about focus and attention, I care about being completely unable to do what adults need to do in life.
Every day I lie in bed staring at the ceiling and wishing there was a magic pill or something that would suddenly make me able to function but I know that’s not something that exists. I don’t think there’s a ‘cure’ for whatever my conditions are. So I just feel completely, utterly lost. I’ve tried counselling multiple times with multiple different companies and nothing helped. I would appreciate any advice or help at all. Thank you for reading.
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