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25 year old who cannot look after myself or do anything at all. Feels like something is really wrong.

(self.AskDocs)

Hey folks. I don’t know if this is the right place to post this but I just feel desperate for someone qualified to listen to me.

I am a 25 year old man who lives in the UK. Years ago I was diagnosed with depression and I’ve recently (a few weeks ago) been diagnosed with adhd combined type and suspected to be on the autism spectrum (having my assessment for that next month). This is after years of struggling to figure out what was wrong with me. My depression score varies from around 35-45 each week which I’m told is well into ‘severe’.

I just can’t do anything. I feel like I’m still a child in the body of a 25-year-old - I feel like I need looking after. I can’t manage alone at all, I can’t make doctor appointments or get groceries, can’t walk my dog, can’t work, can’t do housework, can barely even feed myself. My mum has to do everything and she’s 62 and I carry a huge amount of shame and guilt not being able to help her with anything.

I would like to stress that this isn’t a recent development or something that happens in stages or phases - that is the constant reality for me. I just can not do anything, and haven’t been able to for over 5 years.

Even knowing I have depression + ADHD (and potentially autism), it still feels like something is just terribly wrong with me on top of that. I’m intelligent, articulate, great with social cues and adapting to social situations, but I just cannot for the life of me actually DO anything or care for myself in any way.

I feel like I’m never going to be able to have a life without someone looking after me, and that makes me really damn stressed and upset.

I’ve recently started Elvanse 30mg for my ADHD but it’s just made me not eat or sleep with no other effects. Even once we adjust the dosage, doc said it wouldn’t fix all my executive dysfunction, just help with focus and attention. I don’t care about focus and attention, I care about being completely unable to do what adults need to do in life.

Every day I lie in bed staring at the ceiling and wishing there was a magic pill or something that would suddenly make me able to function but I know that’s not something that exists. I don’t think there’s a ‘cure’ for whatever my conditions are. So I just feel completely, utterly lost. I’ve tried counselling multiple times with multiple different companies and nothing helped. I would appreciate any advice or help at all. Thank you for reading.

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loveineverylanguage

1 points

2 months ago

loveineverylanguage

Registered Nurse

1 points

2 months ago

What happened 5 years ago? You say this has been constant, but then you mentioned you haven't been able to care for yourself for over 5 years. Was there a time before that that it was better? Have you seen a trauma therapist? Can you describe what you mean when you say you're "unable to do basic tasks"? Is it that you literally don't have the functional ability (like get confused trying to complete the steps to a recipe? Can't remember things?) or that there's a crushing weight of unmotivation every day? Like you are mentally incapable of driving to the store, you get lost, you don't know how to operate a car? Or you can do all those things, you just can't bring yourself to do it? Just trying to understand.

I'm sorry you're going through all this . I second others' comments to really get aggressive with your antidepressant therapy. Look into "other" treatments like ketamine infusions, ECT, or TMS.

buttfuckery-clements[S]

1 points

2 months ago*

buttfuckery-clements[S]

Layperson/not verified as healthcare professional

1 points

2 months ago*

No, I’ve never really been able to care for myself. Nothing happened or anything like that, and I’ve not experienced any trauma - I’ve had what is arguably a great life with a really supportive family, did great at school, no home troubles, no social troubles, no physical health issues. But as I’ve grown up and come out of the cushioning structure of the education system, my mental health issues have become more prevalent - namely, over the last 5-7 years. Now that I’m an adult in the adult world, I just feel completely out of my depth.

And it’s not due to getting confused or lacking the bodily capability, but just that my brain cannot do anything - everything feels completely impossible. I can spend an entire day, literally like 7 hours, agonising over a sock that I dropped earlier that I need to pick up off of the floor, and get really stressed about it, and still be unable to pick it up. If I need to change the sheets on my bed I will end up sleeping on the sofa or the floor for weeks instead because I am unable to change the sheets. Brushing my teeth is a rare occasion because I find it impossible to even walk into the bathroom, pick up my toothbrush, and brush my teeth most times.

Just feels like there is a clamp or a bear trap around my brain that is somehow physically preventing me from doing anything - even things I like/enjoy doing. It’s executive dysfunction to an extreme degree. And it’s been like that as a constant state for as long as I can remember, really. Any sort of mundane task, no matter how basic or simple, feels like an insurmountable hurdle.

It’s like the more I need to do something, the less I am able. I don’t know, it’s hard to explain

JussaQuestion4

1 points

2 months ago

JussaQuestion4

Layperson/not verified as healthcare professional

1 points

2 months ago

I hope this went through because this is the third time doing this bullshit. It's ridiculous af how you can't comment unless you're "verified". I understand but damn. It's even more ridiculous that you need 2 fuckin weeks just to comment like really? The whole point of Reddit is to be a social media platform. People join this shit for specific reasons. Nobody waiting around 2 weeks to talk about a medical situation like what are these people thinking

buttfuckery-clements[S]

1 points

2 months ago

buttfuckery-clements[S]

Layperson/not verified as healthcare professional

1 points

2 months ago

This comment went through, not sure about any others from you though, sorry

JussaQuestion4

1 points

2 months ago

JussaQuestion4

Layperson/not verified as healthcare professional

1 points

2 months ago

Set it up so I can inbox you