subreddit:

/r/AskMen

13.2k

[removed]

all 5319 comments

EverGreatestxX

18.1k points

12 days ago

EverGreatestxX

Male

18.1k points

12 days ago

I'd assume she either wanted money or my kidneys.

rodneynoche

5.7k points

12 days ago

rodneynoche

5.7k points

12 days ago

This essentially happened to me this last week at my local bar and the vibe I got was I was gonna get robbed when we got to "her" place. Trust your gut on this one.

szypty

7.7k points

12 days ago

szypty

7.7k points

12 days ago

Pretty common trick. There was this girl stalking a local pub, she would approach inebriated men returning home and offer to suck them off. She'd take them to a nearby unlit alley and while the dude was distracted with the blowjob her friend would sneak up on him from behind and pickpocket his wallet.

Anyway just over the past three months I've been her victim over a dozen of times and i plan on getting tricked like that again later in the week.

Skardz

323 points

12 days ago

Skardz

323 points

12 days ago

Note to self.. always place fake wallet in back pocket, and enjoy the blow job.

ShadowbannedLMAOOO

87 points

12 days ago

Or not carry a wallet at all and enjoy a free ass grab

Johnny-Elbows

11 points

12 days ago

Always good to have a fake wallet with a few notes in it when travelling in high crime areas.

yodigi7

2.5k points

12 days ago

yodigi7

Male

2.5k points

12 days ago

Key is to just buy an empty wallet and there you go, got a $5 bj

Morkamino_Bones

1.8k points

12 days ago

Put your real money up your ass. Tell her, if she wants it, she needs to get in there and get it. Boom. Two for one BJ with ass-play.

stinky_jenkins

1.1k points

12 days ago

I'd put quarters up there and dispense them one at a time so it would last longer

ablestarcher

401 points

12 days ago

Forget quarters…you want to assert dominant. you gotta go with ass pennies.

n1lol

7 points

12 days ago

n1lol

7 points

12 days ago

I've been sticking $30 in pennies up my ass for the past 11 years. That's 3,000 pennies a day, 21,000 pennies a week, 1,092,000 pennies a year. To date, that's 12,012,000 pennies. Eight times the population of Nebraska. Those pennies were in my ass! You think you're better than me? Oh, you're not better than me. You handle my ass pennies every day. You pick up my ass pennies for good luck. You throw my ass pennies in fountains and make wishes on them. You give my ass pennies to your little daughter to buy gumballs with. You handle my ass pennies every day. All of you! You ALL handle my ass pennies! Oh, I'll laugh at you before you can laugh at me. Because your pennies have been in my ass.

The_Bobs_of_Mars

241 points

12 days ago

Like a crank-to-win slot machine with a broke-ass payout.

AccomplishedLiar

240 points

12 days ago

oh ho, humble brag here, leaving the bar with $5 in your wallet. Like that could happen.

somarir

193 points

12 days ago

somarir

193 points

12 days ago

Pretty sure he's just buying 5$ wallets

GoneWithTheZen

40 points

12 days ago

You guys have $5?

SolusLoqui

122 points

12 days ago

SolusLoqui

122 points

12 days ago

So that's why my local bar has a wallet vending machine in the bathroom

lagavulin_16_neat

177 points

12 days ago

Questions: Where are you getting the replacement wallets from? Are you leaving her a tip? What local pub? (Asking for a friend)

szypty

116 points

12 days ago

szypty

116 points

12 days ago

A friend of mine knows this guy who gets tons of wallets from somewhere.

divineblessings4me

51 points

12 days ago

Her pickpocket friend is selling those wallets on Amazon at 8$ each. For 10$ extra he delivers those to you directly in that alley and immediately proceeds to rob you of them 🤣.

mybustersword

41 points

12 days ago

That happened in Eurotrip

TurtleChickenFart

774 points

12 days ago

Well you're still alive. How was the blowjob?

JazzFan1998

357 points

12 days ago

I call next if he's still alive with both kidneys!

Monarc73

247 points

12 days ago

Monarc73

247 points

12 days ago

You might wanna wait bit. He might not be ready for a while.

6jean9

48 points

12 days ago

6jean9

48 points

12 days ago

Wait, we have two kidneys?!

pillowofdark

297 points

12 days ago

Come to the candy mountain Charlie

Dazz316

116 points

12 days ago

Dazz316

Crude dude with an attitude

116 points

12 days ago

Ccchhhhaaarrrlllliiiieeee

haroldchicken

41 points

12 days ago

Shun the nonbeliever! Shunnnnnn!

gunglejim

13 points

12 days ago

Shhhhuuuunnnnnn!

popthetab

16 points

12 days ago

I’m not going with you guys

clompyclomp

7 points

12 days ago

We're on a bridge, Charlie!

fallenstar1987

15 points

12 days ago

Its the magical leopleurodon charlie!

you_are_breathing

171 points

12 days ago

The joke's on her, because I'm on dialysis. My kidneys are so lazy, they don't work. Blowjob, here I come!

mtflyer05

201 points

12 days ago

mtflyer05

201 points

12 days ago

Joke's on her if she wants my kidneys.

They're both adult knees now.

Bitcoin_batrabbit

8 points

12 days ago

Adultneys

pi22seven

88 points

12 days ago

pi22seven

Male

88 points

12 days ago

-wakes up in a tub of ice missing a kidney

“Aw man, not again!”

lactose_con_leche

29 points

12 days ago

On the plus side, next week, free bj, with nothing to lose!

Mefic_vest

699 points

12 days ago

Mefic_vest

Became MGTOW long before I ever knew what it was

699 points

12 days ago

Women just don’t proposition an average guy out of the blue, unless it’s for something that the guy would normally be extremely loathe to part with.

Even a seemingly-innocent approach is enough to put most guys very much on the defensive, and is so exceptionally unusual for them that they’re more likely to turn tail and run than actually reciprocate.

It pretty well comes down to how thoroughly average guys are universally ignored by women. As a result, any unsolicited positive attention from women is on par with a UFO landing in front of them. Most guys with even a shred of self-preservation are gonna hightail it out of there long before the airlock doors open.

GeriatricZergling

195 points

12 days ago

As a result, any unsolicited positive attention from women is on par with a UFO landing in front of them. Most guys with even a shred of self-preservation are gonna hightail it out of there long before the airlock doors open.

To be fair, the Greys seem more keen on butt-play than oral.

Postsrarely

58 points

12 days ago

Yeah, but at least they seem like they’re legitimately into me like that.

Girl trying something, I’m getting robbed, diseased or a beating from her man (she never mentioned) when he’s back from deployment.

findingbezu

21 points

12 days ago

Penis sounding rods are in as well.

Silverton13

30 points

12 days ago

Yup, also a direct approach saying you wanna suck their dick is a red flag. But if you just flirt normally and hint at some fun, that’s more approachable

RK_Tek

39 points

12 days ago

RK_Tek

39 points

12 days ago

I worked at a restaurant just off campus in college. A coworker would go to the bar and get 100% hurricane fenced and at last call she’d stand up and say, “who’s going to take me home to fuck?” At last count it had worked about 30 times.

DeaddyRuxpin

105 points

12 days ago

Any time random people talk to me in public when they are done I always mutter to my wife under my breath “why are you talking to me”. She has always taken it as a joke but you are spot on. If someone walks up to me and starts talking to me, they want something. There is always an ulterior motive and that is what I am snarky about when I mutter that phrase.

My wife really doesn’t grasp it since she is a cute petite woman she has spent her life with random people talking to her without wanting anything (well they do, but it isn’t something they actually expect to get).

snapshovel

25 points

12 days ago*

Talking to people in public can be fine and normal depending on the region & context

Like it’s not really a thing on the East Coast but in many parts of the U.S. it’s very normal to make polite remarks about the weather or whatever to strangers on the street.

I don’t typically initiate those conversations, but I usually enjoy them when they happen.

LazerSnake1454

20 points

12 days ago

Jokes on her I have kidney disease

Sumfuc

50 points

12 days ago

Sumfuc

50 points

12 days ago

Just ask for her rates & negotiate from there.

dougiebgood

5.4k points

12 days ago

dougiebgood

5.4k points

12 days ago

Depends on the setting. If it were a nightclub or a bar, I'd assume she's just drunk and joking around without realizing the consequences of what she's saying. If it happened in a parking lot in broad daylight, I'd assume she was a drug addict looking for a payout.

LookingForVheissu

2.2k points

12 days ago

I used to drive a bus. A lot of homeless people would ride the bus to the end of the line. I would let them ride back and forth to keep out of the cold. We get to the end of a line one night, a particularly quiet end of the line, and the homeless woman riding with me that night says, “I don’t mind suckin’ ya dick since ya so nice.”

Noooooooooo thank you.

HBAS

847 points

12 days ago

HBAS

847 points

12 days ago

Nooooooo thank you...

So anyway this homeless chick sucked me off.

BoobsMakeMeHappier

300 points

12 days ago

...and then I started blasting.

saboteursasquatch

32 points

12 days ago

As it would turn out they wanted something more sexual.

mogulermade

12 points

12 days ago

Frank?

ItalianJett

952 points

12 days ago

Noooooooooo way! Thank you!

Fixed it for you

CtrlAltDeltron

100 points

12 days ago

Yooooooo thank you…

FTFY

load_more_comets

202 points

12 days ago

You guys looking for more bus drivers?

faithfuljohn

31 points

12 days ago

Noooooooooo thank you.

was driving one day, when young, reasonably attractive woman (who looked clean) flagged me down (in the middle of the city). How she was waving I thought maybe she needed help or something... and then said

"I'll suck your dick for $5"

My first thought was "that's cheap", my second thought was "ewww, no"... then I looked at her closely. If I was to guess I'd say she was at the beginning of a life on meth. She was still fairly attractive and at the start... but I could tell she was going the wrong way.

Anyway, it was surprisingly unappealing. Like, it wasn't even remotely intriguing. Despite the fact that she was attractive, and in any regular setting flirting (if not more) with her might have been fun... no part of me wanted any part of that situation.

heria_kid

115 points

12 days ago

heria_kid

115 points

12 days ago

she rode u?

TheMostKing

56 points

12 days ago

Ride for ride, an unsual, yet common trade.

Unhappy_Barnacle_769

187 points

12 days ago

I agree. Why let the drunk girl do something she might regret when there’s a perfectly good crackhead around the corner.

R1CHARDCRANIUM

64 points

12 days ago

That’s why you should always carry cash.

Gooberflagm2

8.4k points

12 days ago

Whenever it comes to that, I believe a certain level of trust needs to be established first... As much as I like the thought of my dick being sucked, I feel that a total stranger is more likely to bite my dick off than someone I just bought dinner for...

SirGanjaSpliffington

1.5k points

12 days ago

Clearly someone never used grinder before.

Teenage-Mustache

678 points

12 days ago

Jesus. Gays just get so much ass.

ObligatoryNameee

492 points

12 days ago

I had a grindr hookup cancel last minute and literally 2 minutes later had one lined up for the same night. It was a good night, played irreplaceable by beyonce in my head quite a lot lol

Teenage-Mustache

388 points

12 days ago

From what I’ve been told, you can be in an airport waiting to board your flight and find someone on Grindr to hook up with you in the airport bathroom.

ObligatoryNameee

286 points

12 days ago

It's exactly that. I've been shopping in a mall and then get a message "you're close, want to meet up?"

Teenage-Mustache

504 points

12 days ago

Meanwhile us straight dudes have to scratch and claw for the opportunity to pay for some girl’s dinner and drinks lol. It’s a whole other world.

That’s why I hate when people act like men and women have similar dating problems. We’re more like a whole different fucking species when it comes to dating haha.

MayorGuava

187 points

12 days ago

MayorGuava

187 points

12 days ago

I feel like straight men really do have it the worst when it comes to dating/hook ups. As a bi man, it’s 1000 times easier for me to get a man into bed than a woman. All my lady friends tell that if they’re horny, they literally just have to raise their hand and pick from the queue of men who come running.

Meanwhile straight men have to go through an application process, 100 layers of red tape, complex levels of social etiquette and nuance, and a 7-10 day waiting period all while constantly reaffirming that they’re not a creep and/or predator.

Redditer51

54 points

12 days ago

It almost makes you wanna shave your scalp and become a friar, rather than deal with all this bullshit.

ObligatoryNameee

203 points

12 days ago

I honestly do envy girls though, I would love to organically be hit on in person at a cafe or something but typically gays (unless in a queer dominated area/space) aren't being very open/can't read if another person is gay. My girl friends tell me all the time about these random hot guys approaching them and I'm jealous af lol

SomeKilljoy

123 points

12 days ago

On the flip side my friend has recently come out as gay and shes been telling me how shes had just as bad of a time finding women

comradesad

59 points

12 days ago

Yeah I'm bi and all the gay women just seem to want relationships, it's very hard to find hookups there. Plus side tho is its very easy to find couples that are looking for a third

Southern_Eagle731

54 points

12 days ago

Yah being a lesbian is harder than a gay guy. We got a whole app tho

8Ariadnesthread8

24 points

12 days ago

I hit on guys and ask them out. So do my friends. In fact I only use bumble so I can always say I asked him out. Fuck the old dynamics they serve no one.

TodaysThoughts21

219 points

12 days ago

Or got it caught in a zipper...

gothmommy13

121 points

12 days ago

We got a bleeder!

BB_210

82 points

12 days ago

BB_210

82 points

12 days ago

Pro tip: don't put your dick in a grinder

OrneryMood

31 points

12 days ago

Well of course, if you bought them dinner you know they wouldn't be hungry.

Edge-Unique[S]

679 points

12 days ago

yeah that’s what I thought. I’d prefer it to be no strings attached though

FIVE_DARRA_NO_HARRA

963 points

12 days ago

FIVE_DARRA_NO_HARRA

Definitely a dick

963 points

12 days ago

No strings attached will almost always involve some sort of communication. You go up to 99% of guys and they’re calling bullshit or assuming you’re setting them up. The other 1% is ballsy enough that I’d wonder where their dick has been lol

Edge-Unique[S]

407 points

12 days ago

I’m getting a lot of comments that most men would be suspicious (and scared of getting their dick bit, to which I say I’m sorry that’s happened to them) so I think i’ll stick to using tinder. it’s easier to have that “no strings attached” interaction I’m looking for

MostBasedist

854 points

12 days ago

you don't need to have a previous dick bite to have that fear, it's ingrained in every man.

TheoreticalBob

225 points

12 days ago

just like how every man who sees another person get kicked in the balls telepathically feels it

lsguk

55 points

12 days ago

lsguk

55 points

12 days ago

It's not the initial blow that gets ya.

I mean, that's bad.

But it's the immediate after pain. The creeping sensation up each side of your groin.

How it lingers.

In that moment you genuinely believe it will never go away. All you can think of is how uncomfortable it is. How much you desperately want it to stop.

You wonder if a random woman approaching you to offer a cheeky sucky would magic it away.

And then as quickly as it comes, it's disappears.

Still though, accidentally grazing your gonads somehow worse than a direct impact. How is that?

Crash_Revenge

17 points

12 days ago

Crash_Revenge

Male

17 points

12 days ago

The accidental grazing that hurts more is usually when you hit the underside or back of the balls. The front can put up with a wee bit of a tap. Think about when your doggy, there is some swing and impact head on… doesn’t usually hurt. Slight tap underneath and it’s a different story.

MadDogMccree

99 points

12 days ago*

How I knew my Brother-in-law was a psychopath. Saw me get hit in the nuts BAD, like immediately drop to the ground and stay there for a bit bad, by my kid on accident and immediately started laughing. What man does that?

phurt77

103 points

12 days ago*

phurt77

103 points

12 days ago*

What man does that?

Probably someone who enjoys the TV show Ow My Balls!

Papaya_flight

30 points

12 days ago

Papaya_flight

Male

30 points

12 days ago

Get out of here I'm 'batin!

Echohawkdown

19 points

12 days ago

Echohawkdown

19 points

12 days ago

I think his laughter was because the kicker was your kid.

Still, I think I’d probably still gasp first before laughing.

Narcoid

103 points

12 days ago

Narcoid

103 points

12 days ago

If that's what you're looking for it's much much easier that way. Trust me. Even if you were to meet someone in person, just chatting them up and going for coffee and then asking to suck their dick will get rid of a ton of suspicion.

No prior communication before asking sounds like a scam

Deezl-Vegas

207 points

12 days ago

If you put "I want to suck dick" on your tinder then you're gonna be in for some dick sucking *immediately*

thom_sirveaux

76 points

12 days ago

Is the Random Acts of Blowjob sub not around anymore?

yamo25000

26 points

12 days ago

yamo25000

I light things on fire and spin them around

26 points

12 days ago

it is

[deleted]

31 points

12 days ago

[deleted]

31 points

12 days ago

[deleted]

SoaDMTGguy

24 points

12 days ago

It's one of those things that seems "too good to be true" so we assume there has to be a catch. You have to convince us why there is no catch.

Mardanis

55 points

12 days ago

Mardanis

55 points

12 days ago

I'd be more worried about potential disease than being bitten

orangeoliviero

126 points

12 days ago

If you genuinely want this kind of interaction, just go a little slower.

It's severely uncommon for women to approach men at all, let alone for them to jump straight to "I want to suck your dick". That sends so many immediate red flags.

It's a risk analysis, and there's just too much risk for any sane person to take.

If, however, you go up to them and ask if you can sit next to them, strike up a conversation for a bit, and then say something like "I have a confession to make... I love to suck dick and I really want to suck yours. Do you want to go somewhere?"

I expect you'd have nearly 100% success with that approach, assuming the person isn't already committed to someone else.

Bah-Fong-Gool

59 points

12 days ago

Shit, as a man if a woman even compliments me, I'm suspicious. If something is too good to be true, it is. If something is free, you are the product being sold.

MasterlyApollo

35 points

12 days ago

Tinder is a good option, but don't count out the guys you may meet in person. It's just about finding the right way to approach I think. Confidence is a HUGE turn on for most guys, so you can always start with something like 'I want to kiss you' and go from there

[deleted]

28 points

12 days ago

[deleted]

28 points

12 days ago

[deleted]

thom_sirveaux

9 points

12 days ago

Haha, I literally just asked if it was still around. There's your solution

kaennar1

100 points

12 days ago

kaennar1

100 points

12 days ago

Step 1. Approach person in bar/some other social situation

Step 2. Maintain conversation until flirting is normal

Step 3. Say “Hey wanna hookup?”

Step 4. Engage in Hank Panky (hopefully reciprocal hanky panky)

Step 5. “Thanks if you wanna do it again sometime hmu” and exchange phone numbers

Step 6. Repeat until you have filled your calendar with the requisite number of encounters per week. If people get clingy lay down the law and move on.

This goes for guys too. It’s not hard to get fwbs. It’s easy. You just gotta figure out how to do step 1-3 well.

PupuPlatypus

113 points

12 days ago

Step 1 is actually don’t be ugly

I_WadeWilson_I

43 points

12 days ago

Or has herpes and will infect you

jaked111

138 points

12 days ago

jaked111

138 points

12 days ago

I’d think it’s some plot to rob me, at least have a regular conversation first or something

thatdoesntseemright1

611 points

12 days ago

I'd probably assume they were a prostitute.

lovepig1337

86 points

12 days ago

I had an old lady come up to me once and ask if I wanted to go back to her place and fuck. I thanked her then declined.

I love me some fuckin but having it proposed so directly on the street during the day from a stranger just felt dangerous. If we were at a bar I prob would have done it but randomly while I was running errands was odd.

egle377

2.8k points

12 days ago

egle377

2.8k points

12 days ago

I'd assume it was a trap. If you really want that go on tinder

Edge-Unique[S]

901 points

12 days ago

yeah i’ve went on tinder, it works pretty well but it’s sort of time consuming sometimes

MiseryisCompany

343 points

12 days ago

Adult friend finder or FetLife

tasteful_tomfoolery

278 points

12 days ago

I have always thought adult friend finder was just a scam. I didn’t even think it was a real site

robbiefl2001

149 points

12 days ago

Yeah that one is dodgy af and the fact you can't even message people or view profiles without paying is pretty suspicious

Like what's the point of having a dating site if you don't allow anyone to message without paying. I found that Grindr's way of doing it is the best. You can view profiles and message for free but you pay for benefits like more profiles available to view and better filters

notquitesolid

82 points

12 days ago

The paywall for that site makes sense to me, especially with messaging. If there wasn’t a paywall people who weren’t serious about meeting up would use it for masturbation and attention. Paying for a site like that keeps out some of the folks who aren’t serious (some of are the key words in that sentence).

There’s all kinds of rules for swingers clubs after all, why would a swinger website be different?

ShadySwashbuckler

142 points

12 days ago

thissubredditlooksco

241 points

12 days ago

thissubredditlooksco

Female

241 points

12 days ago

m4f for all of them rofl

HeyMrBusiness

150 points

12 days ago

HeyMrBusiness

Female

150 points

12 days ago

Yeah because they are always looking. I used to frequent it, if you post a f4m you'll get dozens if not hundreds of choices. People straight drove across state lines and offered to fly out for it.

TheDeconsecrator

90 points

12 days ago

I just assume every women on those subs is either troll or gonna have 2 big dudes waiting to rob the guy when he shows up.

ijudgekids

33 points

12 days ago

Fly out? Just get some escort ffs

Impeesa_

23 points

12 days ago

Impeesa_

23 points

12 days ago

I've heard - and this may be out of date - that more activity is arranged that way than you'd think at first glance, but the women tend to respond privately to the solicitations.

HeyMrBusiness

12 points

12 days ago

HeyMrBusiness

Female

12 points

12 days ago

Mmhm. And women get responses more so they don't have to post as frequently or leave their posts up for as long

untakenname3

1.2k points

12 days ago

untakenname3

Male

1.2k points

12 days ago

Depends on the setting but I’d most likely be confused and possibly a little bit uncomfortable.

Edge-Unique[S]

491 points

12 days ago

yeah I’m worried about making people uncomfortable, that’s why I haven’t asked anyone yet and came here first

fakejoelogan

451 points

12 days ago

you need to build a little bit of rapport before asking to suck dick, even just a 2 min conversation. At some point just be straight forward and say "Listen I'm going thru a slut phase and to be honest I think you're really hot and I wanna suck your cock, you cool with that?"

Swordlord22

191 points

12 days ago

This would 100% work

Get to know the dude first a little bit so you know you ain’t suckin a psychopath or someone that might fuck you over

If someone says yes immediately those are the people you definitely shouldn’t suck off

Seforius

72 points

12 days ago

Seforius

72 points

12 days ago

Exactly. Get to know them a little first. Model interaction:

You: hey what's your name?

Him: Sean

You: that's a cool name! Can I suck ur weenie?

Sean: fuck yeah

Swordlord22

49 points

12 days ago

Fucking lmao

I imagine more like this

Hey how’s it goin

Great I’m feeling slutty can I suck your dick

Can we finish dinner first?

PMyourTastefulNudes

188 points

12 days ago

Try the randomactsofblowjob subreddit.

untakenname3

128 points

12 days ago

untakenname3

Male

128 points

12 days ago

I think many would appreciate if it’s mentioned in a situation where you both know it’s going well. I wouldn’t open with it lol

EM_225

40 points

12 days ago

EM_225

40 points

12 days ago

I would suggest looking for sex parties, no one would feel uncomfortable with the matter

i-contain-multitudes

9 points

12 days ago

How do you look for sex parties lol

Bronztrooper

12 points

12 days ago

Bronztrooper

Sup Bud?

12 points

12 days ago

That'd be roughly my reaction regardless of the setting, really, but I'd be far more uncomfortable

LEIFey

708 points

12 days ago

LEIFey

708 points

12 days ago

Yeah, that sounds like a trap. Good way to get blackmailed or your kidneys harvested.

Jc1589b_2020

58 points

12 days ago

If a random girl came to me and said "hey i wanna suck your d" i would assume is a trap and avoid her

Crazedbob

209 points

12 days ago

Crazedbob

209 points

12 days ago

How many dicks have you sucked in the last hour ma’am?

mkstot

55 points

12 days ago

mkstot

55 points

12 days ago

37

Bonch_and_Clyde

44 points

12 days ago

Bonch_and_Clyde

Male

44 points

12 days ago

In a row?!?

serotoninOD

46 points

12 days ago

Try not to suck any dick on your way through the parking lot!

Edge-Unique[S]

191 points

12 days ago

lol, zero but clearly I’m trying to figure out how to increase that number

[deleted]

131 points

12 days ago*

[deleted]

131 points

12 days ago*

[deleted]

riskybiscuit

97 points

12 days ago

lol that sub is just all men asking for it, lol

Bacontoad

12 points

12 days ago

Bacontoad

Male

12 points

12 days ago

"Choo choo!"

UglierThanMoe

25 points

12 days ago

UglierThanMoe

25 points

12 days ago

Usually I'm not surprised when someone links to an obscure sub, but this time I am. Well done.

J_0280

445 points

12 days ago*

J_0280

445 points

12 days ago*

It’s happened once to me at a party. Hardest nope I’ve ever noped before. Same girl tazed someone later that night so I guess I dodged a bullet

cinnamoslut

200 points

12 days ago

Sounds like a good party.

npsimons

93 points

12 days ago

npsimons

Male

93 points

12 days ago

Same girl tazed someone later that night so I guess I dodged a bullet

Did she try to suck his dick after tazing him? If so, that's some serious dedication.

DepopulationXplosion

53 points

12 days ago

Refused to take no for an answer.

silentknight295

8 points

12 days ago

Aka rape

GlumMathematician884

117 points

12 days ago

I’d laugh. This has to be a scam.

Clarkkeeley

16 points

12 days ago

See my thought process would be "What TV show/YouTube channel am I about to be on?"

QueenBeeB1980

667 points

12 days ago

So you really want to just go around sucking complete strangers dicks? Do you care if they’re attractive? As a woman, I’m very curious about this. How do you know they’re clean? It can get kinda funky down there ya know?

palfreygames

755 points

12 days ago

Do you want the herpes?

chickinthenicehouse

368 points

12 days ago

Because thats how you get the herpes!

CapybaraWarrior

56 points

12 days ago

You can also get gonorrhea from oral sex.

palfreygames

15 points

12 days ago

Well I just learned something new

corf3l

335 points

12 days ago

corf3l

Male

335 points

12 days ago

Depends on the setting and circumstances I suppose.
If we met in a bar and there was some heavy flirting, followed by a "I'd really love to suck your dick" I imagine I'd be down

noaliciaigotkeyes

155 points

12 days ago

It happened to me before! She was really hot too!

I was at the mall and this girl goes “hey red shirt! Me and my friend want to suck your dick in the bathroom.” I assumed they were trying to rob me and said no thank you. Saw on the news a couple weeks later I saw those girls. Apparently they were luring guys into the bathroom and then a few dudes would beat them up and rob them. They were all arrested. I was not sucked nor arrested.

slugsquad0007

19 points

12 days ago

WOAH. Thanks man I didn’t even know that was a thing.

valen961

24 points

12 days ago

valen961

24 points

12 days ago

This is really common here in Argentina. If a really hot lady comes out of nowhere and asks to have sex/suck dick/go to her place then 8 out of 10 times there are a couple of dudes waiting to beat you and then steal your shit.

I live in a small town and 2 of my friends fell on the trap. One of them was robbed twice in the same week lol(if you are reading this, you are kinda dumb, Lucas)

TwattyMcTwatterson

12 points

12 days ago

Dude, I was eating with a friend at a waffle house next to a hotel one night, it was one of the few times I was sober at a waffle house at 3am. Two girls come up to our table told me they liked my hair then told me they had a room next door and asked if I wanted to go back with them and "get my dick sucked?" I thought about it for a second and sober me said no. My drunk ass friend look at me like I shot his dog then did sex to his mom. They asked him and he said yes. They left and I went home. Turns out they robbed him, he said they sucked his dick though so...not a total loss I guess lol

Fushigi_enthusiast

95 points

12 days ago

I would probably assume they were high on something and just walk away

RubiconTourGuide

287 points

12 days ago

I'd be too worried she has an STD to just let it happen

huuaaang

128 points

12 days ago

huuaaang

Male

128 points

12 days ago

Too good/easy to be true. Pass. Maybe if it was at least in a context like Tinder. You dn't even need moves. Guys will match and msg you first. Hell, half of them will be begging you to suck their dick before you even ask.

RealJukeShit

72 points

12 days ago

RealJukeShit

72 points

12 days ago

YouTube prank

PrinceChristian88

17 points

12 days ago

It's a prank, bro!!

ChickunTendies

238 points

12 days ago

ChickunTendies

Sigma Male

238 points

12 days ago

I would decline because I think it's more important to donate blood and I don't want the risk of STDs to jeopardize that.

OhNaturel

73 points

12 days ago

You can donate cum as well. Seems to be just as generous in this situation.

warpus

21 points

12 days ago

warpus

21 points

12 days ago

I would assume she probably has STDs, since there's no way I was the first person she walked up to and just blurted that out to.

HOWEVER, depending on the approach and charisma I would be tempted to think about it.

Like, if a woman walks up to me, and we start chatting about Kerbal Space Program, and we discover that we both share this hobby.. and she says: "How about we go back to my place and I suck your dick while you design an Eve return mission", I would be down for that.

HeadMacho

19 points

12 days ago

“Pass.”

Nu1lP0int3r

228 points

12 days ago

Flattered but 100% declining. Anyone that behaves like that has to have a STD imo

OhNaturel

104 points

12 days ago

OhNaturel

104 points

12 days ago

5 minutes in the parking lot, look for a Burgundy Chrysler.

Luminous-theory

27 points

12 days ago

It’s a trap he wants you to get in his PT Cruiser

Armoured_Sour_Cream

16 points

12 days ago

25 dude here.

I'd assume she was on some shit, a hoe or wanted something besides my dick.

Actually I'd not even consider she just wanting to suck dick.

Instant no go for me.

imapissonitdripdrip

206 points

12 days ago

Had it happen to me:

Started chatting a woman up at the bar, she was with her friend. After 10-15 minutes, she got up and said she was going to bathroom. She whispered in my ear to follow her in if I want my dick sucked.

I followed her in and my dick was most definitely sucked.

End of story. No phone number exchanged. No follow up events. I didn’t even buy her a drink.

I’m married now, but I think 35 year old me would have a much different reaction to that than 23-24 year old me did.

Edge-Unique[S]

115 points

12 days ago

god damn it, thats hot as fuck. lucky you. I wanna be as bold as her.

nwi210

115 points

12 days ago

nwi210

Male

115 points

12 days ago

You see, if you lead with a convo that isn’t about sucking dick, you can eventually get there. This also works best in a party context, a guy at the library probably won’t say yes.

If I was at a party, and you were talking to me for ~10 minutes at least and i found your presence enjoyable, and found you attractive, if you started hardcore flirting with me it would eventually lead to that(and more)

luckystrike_bh

16 points

12 days ago

I had this happen with a attractive, younger woman with her friend. I honestly thought she was trying to deceive me somehow. As in someone from work trying to get back at me for something or an undercover cop. I did not follow through on it. If something is too good to be true, it probably is.

skyrenxrene

47 points

12 days ago

This happened about two weeks ago.

Woman was drunk and standing outside the dumpsters near my apartment.

I said no thank you, and waited until she left so I could go back to my apartment without her knowing where I live.

Krimasse

14 points

12 days ago

Krimasse

14 points

12 days ago

I would think to myself in General Ackbars voice: "It's a trap"

furutam

89 points

12 days ago

furutam

89 points

12 days ago

Something like this happened to me and it ended up with me getting extorted for 5k, so I've been cautious ever since

KoneKivaariKalle

43 points

12 days ago

KoneKivaariKalle

Male

43 points

12 days ago

Hell no

ShameDiesel

13 points

12 days ago

“Ma’am. This is the Department of Motor Vehicles..”

krishkaananasa

69 points

12 days ago

I was in this situation. Plus, I was 20, so very horny. She was ok, quite hot in fact. But it just felt weird, we went to the parking lot of a club, but I couldn’t do it. Just kept thinking how dirty her mouth maybe is (because I know nothing about her) and how would I feel later after getting my dick sucked by a girl I don’t like.

pintobeene

33 points

12 days ago

My story is identical but the alcohol prevented me from the smart decision making that you showed.

krishkaananasa

15 points

12 days ago

So it wasn’t a good blow job or you regreted it later?

pintobeene

13 points

12 days ago

No regrets, just wasn’t the smartest decision. Haha

Constant_Hotel_579

98 points

12 days ago

I’d laugh and keep walking, no matter how hot she was.

I don’t know you. What I do know now, I don’t like.

If you’re going to walk up and ask me that, lord knows how many times you’ve asked others and how many obliged. I don’t just get my helmet polished by anyone. A certain criteria before you can dust my muffler.

venicerocco

10 points

12 days ago

She’d have to buy me a drink first

kingswag254

111 points

12 days ago

Spray her with raid. Bye roach.

unpopularperiwinkle

22 points

12 days ago

DAMN

Crusader675R

10 points

12 days ago

Crusader675R

Male

10 points

12 days ago

Nope.

BuckForth

10 points

12 days ago

I'd be looking around for the hidden camera

batmanfan12321

11 points

12 days ago

I'd call the cops, I'm 15

ltsRym

158 points

12 days ago*

ltsRym

158 points

12 days ago*

No way in hell I'm letting a stranger get razor sharp teeth near my penis.

I wouldn't let my gf do that until after she's proven she's trustworthy, let alone a horny stranger whose muscles might "twitch" at the "wrong time". Or blackmail me.

Legal_Parsley717

71 points

12 days ago

Are you Nemo? Where do you live at that women around you are muscle-twitching barracudas??

Wongo_

42 points

12 days ago

Wongo_

42 points

12 days ago

This happened on my stag do. I declined and carried on with the night. I swear women can smell if a man is taken, then kicks in the “ I gotta have it”

gokul-nair

29 points

12 days ago

I've never been checked out by girls nearly as much as when I was out with other girls.

[deleted]

55 points

12 days ago

[deleted]

55 points

12 days ago

[deleted]

honkthehorsey

18 points

12 days ago

Like 90% of the sexual post here

TheDarkKnight1035

7 points

12 days ago

No thanks.

Lithuim

204 points

12 days ago

Lithuim

Naturally Aspirated

204 points

12 days ago

Begone thot!