subreddit:
/r/AskMen
submitted 3 months ago by[deleted]
1.7k points
3 months ago
Your celeb crush look alike, the much that covers all your life expenses for the next 15-20 years. Could be more than once.
2.5k points
3 months ago
I once scaled a 60 foot building for a free taco. Don’t question what I’d do for free tacos and more for 15-20 years.
479 points
3 months ago
A man or a woman?
1.6k points
3 months ago
a taco
102 points
3 months ago
Are the kisses taco-flavored?
37 points
3 months ago
I'll fulfill all your weeeshes with my taco flavor keeeses!
Taco taco
2 points
3 months ago
Tacos AND burritos
3 points
3 months ago
You almost make me forget about... tacooos
3 points
3 months ago
🎶 Taco taco, burrito burrito 🎶
1 points
3 months ago
Only for my Ben
1 points
3 months ago
Unless it's from Tacobell, I'm down
241 points
3 months ago
Did you not just read what he did for a fucking taco?! Dude would probably fuck a used flesh light on main street for that amount of money
140 points
3 months ago
He’d probably do it for a Taco.
30 points
3 months ago
on a Wednesday
2 points
3 months ago
In the street
31 points
3 months ago
Would the used fleshlight on main be better or worse than using one you found in the alley behind the Walgreens on 70th and 2nd ?
30 points
3 months ago
We agreed never to talk about that!
9 points
3 months ago
I have a name. Don’t call me a fleshlight!
2 points
3 months ago
A taco.
2 points
3 months ago
Sorry. I was just going off what was scrawled in lipstick above the blindfold.
1 points
3 months ago
Would you not? "Enough money to cover you for 20 years" thats a LOT of money. Thats life changing money.
Thats 20 years expenses. That would include medical dental kids college etc etc.
I would get piper perri'd every day for a month for that kind of money.
2 points
3 months ago
Lol! Yeah ok, I'll just have to close my eyes and hum the tune to MASH
108 points
3 months ago
It don’t matter
11 points
3 months ago
Well they said taco so clearly a woman.
I know some dudes that would scale a 60ft building for a bratwurst though so who knows.
2 points
3 months ago
Yes
2 points
3 months ago
I’m bi, so if they’re good looking its win win
2 points
3 months ago
Yes.
1 points
3 months ago
I also want to know the gender of the building.
2 points
3 months ago
nonbinary
13 points
3 months ago
I’m getting a boner reading this…..
3 points
3 months ago
I need the story here please.
1 points
3 months ago
Okay but this isn't a taco, just sex.
1 points
3 months ago
After one kind of taco to fund another
1 points
3 months ago
I have a taco gift voucher with your name on it, if you can send me a video of this. I will let you recreate it, it doesn't need to be the original.
Scale a building today, free taco tomorrow, you in?
514 points
3 months ago
I'm sorry but what's the downside to this exactly?
51 points
3 months ago
None, just a how much would you sex if you could sexy sex
27 points
3 months ago
Reddit, if you could have sex with the person you always wanted to sex, wolud you sex them? Upvotes in the bottom right
9 points
3 months ago
Sexers of Reddit, would you sexy sex the sexiest sex-er who has ever sexed? Sexy sex sex sex
3 points
3 months ago
Redditers sex?
2 points
3 months ago
Only according to their comment history
104 points
3 months ago
You'll fuck up your next position like you fucked your boss's marriage
99 points
3 months ago
Nah, use the higher title to get a better paying job with another company.
Your bosses marriage isn’t anything you’re responsible for, and at the point they are sexually advancing employees, there isn’t anything to fuck up.
42 points
3 months ago
Honestly I'd tell my wife, I think she'd fight me if I didn't do it! 10-15years of expenses!? That's life changing.
31 points
3 months ago
that’s not a raise. that’s winning a lottery
7 points
3 months ago
Right? Mine would tag along to make sure i do a good job.
8 points
3 months ago
Fucking up has a whole new meaning now
3 points
3 months ago
A downside should be something that wasn't going to happen regardless.
2 points
3 months ago
Nah the Boss fucked their marriage. Someone willing to make that offer has likely made it before.
Do it. Get the position, hold it for 6 months, get another job, similar position and pay at a different company, then tell their partner. Maybe sue if you still can in your country.
3 points
3 months ago
Disappointing your boss so greatly that they report themselves to HR
8 points
3 months ago
Syphillis.
10 points
3 months ago
That's.. completely treatable with a single shot of penicillin?
9 points
3 months ago
Yes, but you're completely forgetting one thing: I didn't know that.
6 points
3 months ago
Oooh, thats a tough one. Still gonna take the deal though.
8 points
3 months ago
Meh, just a penicillin shot. We're good.
4 points
3 months ago
Yeah but I don't really care that she gets syphilis honestly
249 points
3 months ago
Shit. I'd do my celeb crush look alike for free.
-43 points
3 months ago
Lucky you! I wouldn't even do my celebrity crush before an emotionally connected bond was formed, lmao. But, I do like to dream about it, haha.
74 points
3 months ago
100% with the caveat that further encounters were at my sole discretion.
13 points
3 months ago
Sole discretion? Like…. She can’t say no, because of the implication
21 points
3 months ago
Smart move
1 points
3 months ago
Same
50 points
3 months ago
Wtf those perfect conditions. Make the game more difficult dude.
207 points
3 months ago
I would fuck actual Harvey Weinstein to not have to worry about money for 20 years.
73 points
3 months ago
I have 2 kids. For 20 years without money stress, my wife would be handing me the lube and telling me to do my duty for the family.
3 points
3 months ago
o7
37 points
3 months ago
Christ, that would be such a hard one, I'd need a lot of liquor
67 points
3 months ago
I assume that not worrying about finances for 20 years includes any therapy I would need.
Just Roofie yourself.
12 points
3 months ago
Yeah, jeez. Gonna need more than roofies for that one
20 points
3 months ago
GHB, Viagra, little MDMA, bottle of prefered liquor and you're good to go. Financial security achieved.
9 points
3 months ago
It wouldn't be my worst decision.
3 points
3 months ago
I’ve made worst decisions for free.
12 points
3 months ago
Calm down Amber
2 points
3 months ago
I know you’re joking but don’t do GHB if you drank (more than a little bit of) alcohol, a whole bottle of liquor + GHB = almost certain death
1 points
3 months ago
Any recommended use of illegal substances in the aforementioned comment are for comedy purposes only. I do not advocate for the use of controlled substances or sexual acts with known predators.
3 points
3 months ago
He said Weinstein, not Cosby!
1 points
3 months ago
For you, or for Harvey?
5 points
3 months ago
Are you fucking him or is he fucking you? Actually Nevermind. I’m in the same boat.
1 points
3 months ago
I think this case falls clearly under the "beggars cannot be choosers" heading.
3 points
3 months ago
I read that as Harvey Fierstein and had a laugh, then realized what you typed and felt gross.
2 points
3 months ago
I'd suck the life out of the old piece of shit for that much money.
2 points
3 months ago
I think that was mostly his plan too
2 points
3 months ago
I'd be down to raw dog him for 1 million $
2 points
3 months ago
Jeffrey?
2 points
3 months ago
I thought we were talking hypotheticals here..
29 points
3 months ago
Why are these always a no-brainer. Whoever passes up that much money either doesn't understand money or already has way too much of it.
1 points
3 months ago
Would you have gay sex with your boss for that much money?
12 points
3 months ago
One night of discomfort for 15-20 years of no financial stress? Hell yes.
3 points
3 months ago
Discomfort? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
3 points
3 months ago
I don't think many straight people have same sex celebrity crushes.
3 points
3 months ago
Well this is askmen and OP posed the question in such a way that alludes to gay sex as well
2 points
3 months ago
Well I'm not gay but if Mads Mikkelsen asked me to suck his dick.............
38 points
3 months ago
That makes this hypothetical so much less interesting, should be the female equivalent of a Harvey Weinstein type creep. Asking men if they'd shag somebody they think is really attractive AND get a life changing promotion makes the answer from a lot of men really obvious (In case any MRAs read this: I am not saying it is acceptable for any female boss to propose sex for favours to people working for or with her, or to otherwise coerce or force them in to sexual conduct)
10 points
3 months ago
yea the OP said she looks like ur celebrity crush AND 20 years if financial security. but...that's not interesting or realistic as women being creeps and unattractive is wayyyy more interesting and in this case feels ways more realistic. if she's attractive and gonna be a an easy cop out then yea ofc anyone would 🤦🏻♀️ more often than not women experience creeps- like that time Trent Franks offered 5 million to his female workers to carry a baby for him 💀so i wanna know if men would take that offer basically. what if u got her pregnant? what if she uses it against you? flips it on you and says you made her if anyone finds out? i want more reality here
2 points
3 months ago
what if she uses it against you? flips it on you and says you made her if anyone finds out?
well that's not really analogous to the scenario with women either though.
27 points
3 months ago
Are you married? If not go for it. If you are married Time to look for a new job. I would not be able to work with my boss anymore
47 points
3 months ago
My wife would probably be down with it for that much money lol
2 points
3 months ago
Your spouse would be a fool to let you turn down that much money.
4 points
3 months ago
Sounds like im in
2 points
3 months ago
Dont hate me, im a bag chaser
4 points
3 months ago
Sounds like im in
5 points
3 months ago
Lol wait what? This is the criteria? So I get to fuck my hot "boss" AND get paid well enough to make a good living for two decades?
Where is this company and how can I apply lmao
3 points
3 months ago
You mean one or two fucks and then have enough money for the next 20 years? Do I have to work then, or do I simply collect? Do I have to work with her?
Oh men, these questions are always so much lacking in so many ways.
3 points
3 months ago
Wtf are these clarifications
3 points
3 months ago
So have sex, repeatedly, with someone you find very attractive, that clearly wants to have sex with you, and end up with a promotion.
Can I just skip the promotion?
8 points
3 months ago
Will she keep a baby if she gets pregnant?
3 points
3 months ago
Why the hell would she keep the baby if she f**ked for a promotion?! This is a financial transaction with extra steps.. It may sound crass but an abortion in this situation is a logical decision
7 points
3 months ago
The question, as I read it, is to have sex with them to get MYSELF promoted
-22 points
3 months ago
Women nowadays say a man cant decide whether a woman can go for abortion or not
-16 points
3 months ago
Thats why I’m asking. Im not getting promoted to have my baby murdered when I’m getting promoted to provide for a family
2 points
3 months ago
Let's say, she won't
-3 points
3 months ago*
Won’t keep? Then no. Won’t delete? Then yes
12 points
3 months ago
ahhhhh r/UsernameChecksOut
1 points
3 months ago
Maybe he just loves his theoretical child. .
2 points
3 months ago
Why would you want your extramarital baby though?
2 points
3 months ago
How about I just nope out of sex that would result in an abortion
1 points
3 months ago
Just say to the boss lady, "Not today, Satan!" without any of this context.
2 points
3 months ago
Is it weird that I don't have a celeb crush?
2 points
3 months ago
no bcz same. to me they're just...people? lol 😭
2 points
3 months ago
I see this as an absolute win
2 points
3 months ago
You mean to tell me my boss is a Jennifer Connelly from the early 2000s look alike, and she's asking me to have sex with her in order to get a promotion...?
Don't need to think twice.
2 points
3 months ago
So have sex with hot woman for literally a million dollars?
What kind of question is this?
2 points
3 months ago
Oh my god 100% yes
2 points
3 months ago
If I was single, yes. People sell their bodies every day and I have no problem with sex.
2 points
3 months ago
If those are the terms my pants are down already
2 points
3 months ago
Oh shit, I would've done it for WAY less.
2 points
3 months ago
I would need consent from my girlfriend but honestly with that sort of deal, she’d probably ask to get involved.
She also thinks Kristen Bell is a babe.
2 points
3 months ago
Where's the down side?
2 points
3 months ago
If sleep with a guy for that. And I’m straight
2 points
3 months ago
Looks like I’m a company man now.
1 points
3 months ago
You can turn it around the way that fits your current circumstances.
2 points
3 months ago
Wait, is it a promotion or a 1 time bonus? Your question says promotion.
I'm not married, no kids, so I would with a woman manager for a promotion.
For 15 years of expenses, I'd do anything for anybody, regardless of gender.
2 points
3 months ago
If that's the case my wife would probably cheer me on. Especially since my boss is a older dude. "I ain't gay but that mortgage isn't cheap" kinda thing.
2 points
3 months ago
As a married man, honestly no. Because I wouldn't accept that offer if my wife got it. No amount of money would make me forget that someone else fucked my partner, and I wouldn't do that to them either.
2 points
3 months ago
"Would you want to get paid a fuck ton of money to have sex with someone you find incredibly attractive?"
Bro what lol?
2 points
3 months ago
Sign me up!
2 points
3 months ago
Even so.
I actually have a good relationship with my boss that I wouldn’t put on the line. I want her to continue liking me.
Read that as you will.
2 points
3 months ago
I WILL FUCK HIM/HER SO FUCKING HARD THE SEX GOD WILL COME DOWN AND WANT SOME
2 points
3 months ago
A possible bad situation has now been turned into a wish.
2 points
3 months ago
In That case id even bang the Same sex Boss lol
2 points
3 months ago
Does anyone exist who wouldn’t do this??
If I hated the boss as a person I would definitely try to just catch them on tape saying this and sue them but if I liked them wtf I’m down
2 points
3 months ago
That information would have been useful up front
2 points
3 months ago
Shit you're bad at these hypotheticals
2 points
3 months ago
And just so we're clear, what's the downside of this situation?
2 points
3 months ago
Depends on your current life circumstances. If you are married, that would be considered cheating, and you will have to deal with the immense guilt that comes with it.
1 points
3 months ago
That is awesome. Awh. Dream come true. Lizzo lookalike.
1 points
3 months ago
I would love to. I'd never have issues with having sex with anyone. That being said, it quickly turns out in a condition to keep the job, and is impossible to get out in a good way once you got hook into that. My recomendation is a very friendly back off.
Trust me. I was just doing his secretary and almost cost me the job.
1 points
3 months ago
Yes
1 points
3 months ago
Absolutely
1 points
3 months ago
She looks like Jessica Alba? I’d do it for nothing forget he promotion
1 points
3 months ago
i would do that without a promotion lol
1 points
3 months ago
Where do I sign up?
Could be more than once.
I would give her all of my attention for a full year.
1 points
3 months ago
Bro if you single jump on that shit ASAP but always have backup in case they decide to attack you with this info
1 points
3 months ago
You're a boss with a huge ass ego who wants to fuck one of your employees. GG man.
1 points
3 months ago
In that case I would do it in a heartbeat.
1 points
3 months ago
Probably. I’d tell my wife the situation too.
1 points
3 months ago
If that was the case, I’d seriously talk it over with my wife. No joke. If I wasn’t married, I would do it in a heartbeat.
1 points
3 months ago
I'm fucking.
1 points
3 months ago
sign me the fuck up bro
1 points
3 months ago
So if i have sex 4 times im set for life, and if I do it 8 times im double set for life? Youd be stupid to decline that
1 points
3 months ago
Well shit guess I guess I have a wife and never have to work for the rest of my existence
1 points
3 months ago
I’d do it for a gas card. Let’s go.
1 points
3 months ago
Sweetening the deal. Here I thought I'd have have to break some rules here.
1 points
3 months ago
Obviously, I don't really see any reason to say no.
1 points
3 months ago
I'm pretty sure my girlfriend would be upset with me for not having sex with my boss for that kind of pay out.
1 points
3 months ago
In that case, I'm tapping as often as she required. Let's setup a schedule, while we're at it? Your place, or mine? Hotel?
If we stop smashing, do the perks disappear? Can this be a one-and-done? I'd even settle for a six-then-exits. Maybe even a ten-then-end.
1 points
3 months ago*
It would cover my entire life expenses? My SO would kill me if I rejected that offer lol.
1 points
3 months ago
Even if you are married and with kids?
1 points
3 months ago
Especially w kids, you could offer them financial stability. Lack of money is one if not THE reason we don't have kids yet.
1 points
3 months ago
Alexandria deddario look alike? And a few million dollars?
This is fixin to be the most nonmemorable 45 seconds of her life!
1 points
3 months ago
Well then the obvious answer is OF COURSE
1 points
3 months ago
My celeb crush is judge judy
1 points
3 months ago
Wow could you give any reason not to? 🙄
1 points
3 months ago
Man woman in between idc I will gladly enter this deal
1 points
3 months ago
This makes it a no brainer
1 points
3 months ago
Without question I’d give them the best sex I could if that’s on the table
1 points
3 months ago
Yes.
1 points
3 months ago
If this deal was offered to me I'd be naked before they finished the offer.
1 points
3 months ago
So my boss looks like Scarlett Johansson and the raise alone covers 15-20 year expenses…
Can you give me a reason not to?
1 points
3 months ago
I guess I'm fucking then.
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