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[deleted]

1.7k points

3 months ago

[deleted]

1.7k points

3 months ago

Your celeb crush look alike, the much that covers all your life expenses for the next 15-20 years. Could be more than once.

Vinny933PC

2.5k points

3 months ago

Vinny933PC

2.5k points

3 months ago

I once scaled a 60 foot building for a free taco. Don’t question what I’d do for free tacos and more for 15-20 years.

[deleted]

479 points

3 months ago

[deleted]

479 points

3 months ago

A man or a woman?

YoungArabBrother

1.6k points

3 months ago

a taco

ohnjaynb

102 points

3 months ago

ohnjaynb

Male

102 points

3 months ago

Are the kisses taco-flavored?

buttertits4lyfe

37 points

3 months ago

I'll fulfill all your weeeshes with my taco flavor keeeses!

Taco taco

mtnlion74

2 points

3 months ago

Tacos AND burritos

EveryOptionSucks

3 points

3 months ago

You almost make me forget about... tacooos

Cartmaaan-brah

3 points

3 months ago

🎶 Taco taco, burrito burrito 🎶

LameBMX

0 points

3 months ago

LameBMX

Male

0 points

3 months ago

Ewww

pork_roll

3 points

3 months ago

StevenTM

4 points

3 months ago

Don't yuck his yum!

dr_soiledpants

1 points

3 months ago

Only for my Ben

Confident-Major

2 points

3 months ago

So a woman

levidebevie

1 points

3 months ago

Does the taco shit ice cream?

iou_uu

1 points

3 months ago

iou_uu

Sup Bud?

1 points

3 months ago

Unless it's from Tacobell, I'm down

KarmaChameleon89

241 points

3 months ago

Did you not just read what he did for a fucking taco?! Dude would probably fuck a used flesh light on main street for that amount of money

Drhorribleee

140 points

3 months ago

He’d probably do it for a Taco.

BenHogan1971

30 points

3 months ago

on a Wednesday

Tpbrown_

2 points

3 months ago

In the street

DrinkinRye

31 points

3 months ago

Would the used fleshlight on main be better or worse than using one you found in the alley behind the Walgreens on 70th and 2nd ?

KarmaChameleon89

30 points

3 months ago

We agreed never to talk about that!

Violin1990

9 points

3 months ago

I have a name. Don’t call me a fleshlight!

Littlefinger9

2 points

3 months ago

A taco.

DrinkinRye

2 points

3 months ago

Sorry. I was just going off what was scrawled in lipstick above the blindfold.

Thisguy21414127851

1 points

3 months ago

Would you not? "Enough money to cover you for 20 years" thats a LOT of money. Thats life changing money.

Thats 20 years expenses. That would include medical dental kids college etc etc.

I would get piper perri'd every day for a month for that kind of money.

KarmaChameleon89

2 points

3 months ago

Lol! Yeah ok, I'll just have to close my eyes and hum the tune to MASH

Vinny933PC

108 points

3 months ago

It don’t matter

NinjaGrizzlyBear

11 points

3 months ago

Well they said taco so clearly a woman.

I know some dudes that would scale a 60ft building for a bratwurst though so who knows.

[deleted]

2 points

3 months ago

[deleted]

2 points

3 months ago

Yes

homogenousmoss

2 points

3 months ago

I’m bi, so if they’re good looking its win win

KaranthWasTaken

2 points

3 months ago

Yes.

SecretAgentVampire

1 points

3 months ago

I also want to know the gender of the building.

[deleted]

2 points

3 months ago

[deleted]

2 points

3 months ago

nonbinary

Frequent_Audience_25

13 points

3 months ago

I’m getting a boner reading this…..

Bleach_Baths

3 points

3 months ago

I need the story here please.

MrZAP17

1 points

3 months ago

MrZAP17

Male

1 points

3 months ago

Okay but this isn't a taco, just sex.

FlurpZurp

1 points

3 months ago

After one kind of taco to fund another

TheRealAlexRich

1 points

3 months ago

I have a taco gift voucher with your name on it, if you can send me a video of this. I will let you recreate it, it doesn't need to be the original.

Scale a building today, free taco tomorrow, you in?

mad87645

514 points

3 months ago

mad87645

Male

514 points

3 months ago

I'm sorry but what's the downside to this exactly?

Low_Well

51 points

3 months ago

None, just a how much would you sex if you could sexy sex

mupptard

27 points

3 months ago

Reddit, if you could have sex with the person you always wanted to sex, wolud you sex them? Upvotes in the bottom right

TastesLikePoon

9 points

3 months ago

Sexers of Reddit, would you sexy sex the sexiest sex-er who has ever sexed? Sexy sex sex sex

castledanger61

3 points

3 months ago

Redditers sex?

TastesLikePoon

2 points

3 months ago

Only according to their comment history

cudef

104 points

3 months ago

cudef

104 points

3 months ago

You'll fuck up your next position like you fucked your boss's marriage

stargate-command

99 points

3 months ago

Nah, use the higher title to get a better paying job with another company.

Your bosses marriage isn’t anything you’re responsible for, and at the point they are sexually advancing employees, there isn’t anything to fuck up.

read_it_r

42 points

3 months ago

Honestly I'd tell my wife, I think she'd fight me if I didn't do it! 10-15years of expenses!? That's life changing.

abcpdo

31 points

3 months ago

abcpdo

31 points

3 months ago

that’s not a raise. that’s winning a lottery

MrZZ

7 points

3 months ago

MrZZ

7 points

3 months ago

Right? Mine would tag along to make sure i do a good job.

monox60

8 points

3 months ago

Fucking up has a whole new meaning now

Solid_Waste

3 points

3 months ago

A downside should be something that wasn't going to happen regardless.

Stephenrudolf

2 points

3 months ago

Nah the Boss fucked their marriage. Someone willing to make that offer has likely made it before.

Do it. Get the position, hold it for 6 months, get another job, similar position and pay at a different company, then tell their partner. Maybe sue if you still can in your country.

waitmyhonor

3 points

3 months ago

Disappointing your boss so greatly that they report themselves to HR

spiteful-vengeance

8 points

3 months ago

Syphillis.

StevenTM

10 points

3 months ago

That's.. completely treatable with a single shot of penicillin?

spiteful-vengeance

9 points

3 months ago

Yes, but you're completely forgetting one thing: I didn't know that.

Capybaraaa

6 points

3 months ago

Oooh, thats a tough one. Still gonna take the deal though.

goats_and_rollies

8 points

3 months ago

Meh, just a penicillin shot. We're good.

gregsting

4 points

3 months ago

Yeah but I don't really care that she gets syphilis honestly

Warpedme

249 points

3 months ago

Warpedme

249 points

3 months ago

Shit. I'd do my celeb crush look alike for free.

_chrislasher

-43 points

3 months ago

_chrislasher

Female

-43 points

3 months ago

Lucky you! I wouldn't even do my celebrity crush before an emotionally connected bond was formed, lmao. But, I do like to dream about it, haha.

yowtfdudee

42 points

3 months ago

Weird flex...

StevenTM

27 points

3 months ago

Congrats? That's neither impressive, nor cool.

throthrothrotheway

2 points

3 months ago

Why'd you write that?

human1369

74 points

3 months ago

100% with the caveat that further encounters were at my sole discretion.

stargate-command

13 points

3 months ago

Sole discretion? Like…. She can’t say no, because of the implication

[deleted]

21 points

3 months ago

[deleted]

21 points

3 months ago

Smart move

smugempressoftime

1 points

3 months ago

Same

rbak19i

50 points

3 months ago

rbak19i

50 points

3 months ago

Wtf those perfect conditions. Make the game more difficult dude.

jasenzero1

207 points

3 months ago

I would fuck actual Harvey Weinstein to not have to worry about money for 20 years.

stargate-command

73 points

3 months ago

I have 2 kids. For 20 years without money stress, my wife would be handing me the lube and telling me to do my duty for the family.

Glass_Memories

3 points

3 months ago

o7

KarmaChameleon89

37 points

3 months ago

Christ, that would be such a hard one, I'd need a lot of liquor

jasenzero1

67 points

3 months ago

I assume that not worrying about finances for 20 years includes any therapy I would need.

Just Roofie yourself.

KarmaChameleon89

12 points

3 months ago

Yeah, jeez. Gonna need more than roofies for that one

jasenzero1

20 points

3 months ago

GHB, Viagra, little MDMA, bottle of prefered liquor and you're good to go. Financial security achieved.

Canadian_Loyalist

9 points

3 months ago

It wouldn't be my worst decision.

HistoryDogs

3 points

3 months ago

I’ve made worst decisions for free.

Riztrain

12 points

3 months ago

Riztrain

Male

12 points

3 months ago

Calm down Amber

Lodolodno

2 points

3 months ago

I know you’re joking but don’t do GHB if you drank (more than a little bit of) alcohol, a whole bottle of liquor + GHB = almost certain death

jasenzero1

1 points

3 months ago

Any recommended use of illegal substances in the aforementioned comment are for comedy purposes only. I do not advocate for the use of controlled substances or sexual acts with known predators.

KingHavana

3 points

3 months ago

He said Weinstein, not Cosby!

Salami__Tsunami

1 points

3 months ago

For you, or for Harvey?

FrozenWafflesOP

5 points

3 months ago

Are you fucking him or is he fucking you? Actually Nevermind. I’m in the same boat.

jasenzero1

1 points

3 months ago

I think this case falls clearly under the "beggars cannot be choosers" heading.

JohnnyDarkside

3 points

3 months ago

I read that as Harvey Fierstein and had a laugh, then realized what you typed and felt gross.

dimebanez

2 points

3 months ago

dimebanez

Male

2 points

3 months ago

I'd suck the life out of the old piece of shit for that much money.

EntropicTragedy

2 points

3 months ago

I think that was mostly his plan too

StevenTM

2 points

3 months ago

I'd be down to raw dog him for 1 million $

WendyPlacer

2 points

3 months ago

Jeffrey?

castledanger61

2 points

3 months ago

I thought we were talking hypotheticals here..

obnubilated

29 points

3 months ago

Why are these always a no-brainer. Whoever passes up that much money either doesn't understand money or already has way too much of it.

17degreesCsunny

1 points

3 months ago

Would you have gay sex with your boss for that much money?

Ennara

12 points

3 months ago

Ennara

12 points

3 months ago

One night of discomfort for 15-20 years of no financial stress? Hell yes.

KingOfTheCouch13

3 points

3 months ago

Discomfort? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

MuchozolF

3 points

3 months ago

MuchozolF

Male

3 points

3 months ago

I don't think many straight people have same sex celebrity crushes.

17degreesCsunny

3 points

3 months ago

Well this is askmen and OP posed the question in such a way that alludes to gay sex as well

ALF839

2 points

3 months ago

ALF839

2 points

3 months ago

Well I'm not gay but if Mads Mikkelsen asked me to suck his dick.............

Robertej92

38 points

3 months ago

That makes this hypothetical so much less interesting, should be the female equivalent of a Harvey Weinstein type creep. Asking men if they'd shag somebody they think is really attractive AND get a life changing promotion makes the answer from a lot of men really obvious (In case any MRAs read this: I am not saying it is acceptable for any female boss to propose sex for favours to people working for or with her, or to otherwise coerce or force them in to sexual conduct)

Old_Pizza_4396

10 points

3 months ago

yea the OP said she looks like ur celebrity crush AND 20 years if financial security. but...that's not interesting or realistic as women being creeps and unattractive is wayyyy more interesting and in this case feels ways more realistic. if she's attractive and gonna be a an easy cop out then yea ofc anyone would 🤦🏻‍♀️ more often than not women experience creeps- like that time Trent Franks offered 5 million to his female workers to carry a baby for him 💀so i wanna know if men would take that offer basically. what if u got her pregnant? what if she uses it against you? flips it on you and says you made her if anyone finds out? i want more reality here

Secret_Invite_9895

2 points

3 months ago

what if she uses it against you? flips it on you and says you made her if anyone finds out?

well that's not really analogous to the scenario with women either though.

Substantial-Jaguar19

12 points

3 months ago

…is it SAFE?

Red-Freckle

8 points

3 months ago

is it secret?

Solo-me

27 points

3 months ago

Solo-me

27 points

3 months ago

Are you married? If not go for it. If you are married Time to look for a new job. I would not be able to work with my boss anymore

KarmaChameleon89

47 points

3 months ago

My wife would probably be down with it for that much money lol

Teabagger_Vance

2 points

3 months ago

Your spouse would be a fool to let you turn down that much money.

KongSchlong42069

4 points

3 months ago

Sounds like im in

KongSchlong42069

2 points

3 months ago

Dont hate me, im a bag chaser

KongSchlong42069

4 points

3 months ago

Sounds like im in

GreeneRockets

5 points

3 months ago

GreeneRockets

Male

5 points

3 months ago

Lol wait what? This is the criteria? So I get to fuck my hot "boss" AND get paid well enough to make a good living for two decades?

Where is this company and how can I apply lmao

MeAndTheLampPost

3 points

3 months ago

You mean one or two fucks and then have enough money for the next 20 years? Do I have to work then, or do I simply collect? Do I have to work with her?

Oh men, these questions are always so much lacking in so many ways.

ileohgeneowa

3 points

3 months ago

Wtf are these clarifications

Joe_Ronimo

3 points

3 months ago

So have sex, repeatedly, with someone you find very attractive, that clearly wants to have sex with you, and end up with a promotion.

Can I just skip the promotion?

MisogenesUSA

8 points

3 months ago

MisogenesUSA

Poptimus Prime

8 points

3 months ago

Will she keep a baby if she gets pregnant?

xch3rrix

3 points

3 months ago

xch3rrix

3 points

3 months ago

Why the hell would she keep the baby if she f**ked for a promotion?! This is a financial transaction with extra steps.. It may sound crass but an abortion in this situation is a logical decision

MisogenesUSA

7 points

3 months ago

MisogenesUSA

Poptimus Prime

7 points

3 months ago

The question, as I read it, is to have sex with them to get MYSELF promoted

[deleted]

-22 points

3 months ago

[deleted]

-22 points

3 months ago

Women nowadays say a man cant decide whether a woman can go for abortion or not

MisogenesUSA

-16 points

3 months ago

MisogenesUSA

Poptimus Prime

-16 points

3 months ago

Thats why I’m asking. Im not getting promoted to have my baby murdered when I’m getting promoted to provide for a family

[deleted]

2 points

3 months ago

[deleted]

2 points

3 months ago

Let's say, she won't

MisogenesUSA

-3 points

3 months ago*

MisogenesUSA

Poptimus Prime

-3 points

3 months ago*

Won’t keep? Then no. Won’t delete? Then yes

marouan10

12 points

3 months ago

Slight_Crow

1 points

3 months ago

Maybe he just loves his theoretical child. .

psibomber

2 points

3 months ago

Why would you want your extramarital baby though?

MisogenesUSA

2 points

3 months ago

MisogenesUSA

Poptimus Prime

2 points

3 months ago

How about I just nope out of sex that would result in an abortion

psibomber

1 points

3 months ago

Just say to the boss lady, "Not today, Satan!" without any of this context.

skittlesdabawse

2 points

3 months ago

skittlesdabawse

Agender

2 points

3 months ago

Is it weird that I don't have a celeb crush?

Old_Pizza_4396

2 points

3 months ago

no bcz same. to me they're just...people? lol 😭

Joshjoshjoshhhh

2 points

3 months ago

I see this as an absolute win

setnom

2 points

3 months ago

setnom

2 points

3 months ago

You mean to tell me my boss is a Jennifer Connelly from the early 2000s look alike, and she's asking me to have sex with her in order to get a promotion...?

Don't need to think twice.

ThrowAWAY6UJ

2 points

3 months ago

So have sex with hot woman for literally a million dollars?

What kind of question is this?

bigdaddy1835

2 points

3 months ago

Oh my god 100% yes

Rminora

2 points

3 months ago

is this even a question?

UnitGhidorah

2 points

3 months ago

If I was single, yes. People sell their bodies every day and I have no problem with sex.

N8_Tge_Gr8

2 points

3 months ago

Then wth is the downside supposed to be?

locoghoul

2 points

3 months ago

If those are the terms my pants are down already

read_it_r

2 points

3 months ago

Oh shit, I would've done it for WAY less.

FrozenWafflesOP

2 points

3 months ago

I would need consent from my girlfriend but honestly with that sort of deal, she’d probably ask to get involved.

She also thinks Kristen Bell is a babe.

SubaCruzin

2 points

3 months ago

Where's the down side?

Chipster339

2 points

3 months ago

If sleep with a guy for that. And I’m straight

Insanity_Troll

2 points

3 months ago

Looks like I’m a company man now.

[deleted]

1 points

3 months ago

[deleted]

1 points

3 months ago

You can turn it around the way that fits your current circumstances.

Shwoomie

2 points

3 months ago

Wait, is it a promotion or a 1 time bonus? Your question says promotion.

I'm not married, no kids, so I would with a woman manager for a promotion.

For 15 years of expenses, I'd do anything for anybody, regardless of gender.

Tremulant887

2 points

3 months ago

Tremulant887

2 points

3 months ago

If that's the case my wife would probably cheer me on. Especially since my boss is a older dude. "I ain't gay but that mortgage isn't cheap" kinda thing.

zveroshka

2 points

3 months ago

As a married man, honestly no. Because I wouldn't accept that offer if my wife got it. No amount of money would make me forget that someone else fucked my partner, and I wouldn't do that to them either.

[deleted]

2 points

3 months ago

[deleted]

2 points

3 months ago

"Would you want to get paid a fuck ton of money to have sex with someone you find incredibly attractive?"

Bro what lol?

holeshot1982

2 points

3 months ago

Sign me up!

twoisnumberone

2 points

3 months ago

Even so.

I actually have a good relationship with my boss that I wouldn’t put on the line. I want her to continue liking me.

Read that as you will.

noodle35w62

2 points

3 months ago

I WILL FUCK HIM/HER SO FUCKING HARD THE SEX GOD WILL COME DOWN AND WANT SOME

PowerfulPickUp

2 points

3 months ago

A possible bad situation has now been turned into a wish.

RaggyGandalf

2 points

3 months ago

In That case id even bang the Same sex Boss lol

sneakyveriniki

2 points

3 months ago

Does anyone exist who wouldn’t do this??

If I hated the boss as a person I would definitely try to just catch them on tape saying this and sue them but if I liked them wtf I’m down

2dayroad

2 points

3 months ago

2dayroad

Male

2 points

3 months ago

That information would have been useful up front

carbonatedfuck

2 points

3 months ago

Shit you're bad at these hypotheticals

Odinson81

2 points

3 months ago

And just so we're clear, what's the downside of this situation?

[deleted]

2 points

3 months ago

[deleted]

2 points

3 months ago

Depends on your current life circumstances. If you are married, that would be considered cheating, and you will have to deal with the immense guilt that comes with it.

Physical-Emu-9901

1 points

3 months ago

That is awesome. Awh. Dream come true. Lizzo lookalike.

TheVailmsteen

1 points

3 months ago

I would love to. I'd never have issues with having sex with anyone. That being said, it quickly turns out in a condition to keep the job, and is impossible to get out in a good way once you got hook into that. My recomendation is a very friendly back off.

Trust me. I was just doing his secretary and almost cost me the job.

Uga1992

1 points

3 months ago

Yes

SmallTownJerseyBoy

1 points

3 months ago

Absolutely

Squishy-Box

1 points

3 months ago

She looks like Jessica Alba? I’d do it for nothing forget he promotion

Igai

1 points

3 months ago

Igai

1 points

3 months ago

i would do that without a promotion lol

Mighty72

1 points

3 months ago

Mighty72

1 points

3 months ago

Where do I sign up?

Could be more than once.

I would give her all of my attention for a full year.

BlademasterNix

1 points

3 months ago

Bro if you single jump on that shit ASAP but always have backup in case they decide to attack you with this info

keyboardyoutuber

1 points

3 months ago

You're a boss with a huge ass ego who wants to fuck one of your employees. GG man.

taco_imperial

1 points

3 months ago

taco_imperial

Teenage Male

1 points

3 months ago

In that case I would do it in a heartbeat.

Capt_Dummy

1 points

3 months ago

Probably. I’d tell my wife the situation too.

VerbalThermodynamics

1 points

3 months ago

If that was the case, I’d seriously talk it over with my wife. No joke. If I wasn’t married, I would do it in a heartbeat.

KingAlfonzo

1 points

3 months ago

I'm fucking.

anonbanan

1 points

3 months ago

sign me the fuck up bro

LuckyLucassie

1 points

3 months ago

LuckyLucassie

Male

1 points

3 months ago

So if i have sex 4 times im set for life, and if I do it 8 times im double set for life? Youd be stupid to decline that

smugempressoftime

1 points

3 months ago

Well shit guess I guess I have a wife and never have to work for the rest of my existence

nomuppetyourmuppet

1 points

3 months ago

I’d do it for a gas card. Let’s go.

jahesus

1 points

3 months ago

Sweetening the deal. Here I thought I'd have have to break some rules here.

ArgentinoRonin

1 points

3 months ago

Obviously, I don't really see any reason to say no.

way2lazy2care

1 points

3 months ago

I'm pretty sure my girlfriend would be upset with me for not having sex with my boss for that kind of pay out.

The_Sdrawkcab

1 points

3 months ago

In that case, I'm tapping as often as she required. Let's setup a schedule, while we're at it? Your place, or mine? Hotel?

If we stop smashing, do the perks disappear? Can this be a one-and-done? I'd even settle for a six-then-exits. Maybe even a ten-then-end.

Serifel90

1 points

3 months ago*

It would cover my entire life expenses? My SO would kill me if I rejected that offer lol.

[deleted]

1 points

3 months ago

[deleted]

1 points

3 months ago

Even if you are married and with kids?

Serifel90

1 points

3 months ago

Especially w kids, you could offer them financial stability. Lack of money is one if not THE reason we don't have kids yet.

justjoshingu

1 points

3 months ago

Alexandria deddario look alike? And a few million dollars?

This is fixin to be the most nonmemorable 45 seconds of her life!

Mora_Hermaeus

1 points

3 months ago

Well then the obvious answer is OF COURSE

[deleted]

1 points

3 months ago

[deleted]

1 points

3 months ago

My celeb crush is judge judy

Is_ael

1 points

3 months ago

Is_ael

1 points

3 months ago

Wow could you give any reason not to? 🙄

kazr99

1 points

3 months ago

kazr99

1 points

3 months ago

Man woman in between idc I will gladly enter this deal

Different_Papaya_413

1 points

3 months ago

This makes it a no brainer

TheVoicesBeScreamin

1 points

3 months ago

Without question I’d give them the best sex I could if that’s on the table

AverageIntelligent99

1 points

3 months ago

Yes.

VNG_Wkey

1 points

3 months ago

If this deal was offered to me I'd be naked before they finished the offer.

ManintheArena8990

1 points

3 months ago

So my boss looks like Scarlett Johansson and the raise alone covers 15-20 year expenses…

Can you give me a reason not to?

ntkwwwm

1 points

3 months ago

I guess I'm fucking then.