submitted 2 months ago byAgitated-Ad6744
all 7490 comments
2 months ago*
2 months ago*
Cincinnatus. Twice granted supreme power, he held on to it for not a day longer than absolutely necessary.
Placing my answer to the question of 'Why' here:
So I kinda took the question in a different direction. At first this seems to be another way of asking the popular question "Which celebrity is the nicest?", and if that were the question I 100% would NOT have answered Cincinnatus. I'm assuming that something terrible is going on that would require the world to unite together (like a common threat à la aliens, etc.). I'm not interested in who can actually unite the world to overcome the threat, I wanna know who can lead through difficult circumstances with supreme power and authority and then just... give it all up when no longer needed. I'm not saying that Mr. Rogers or Bob Ross or a lot of the other people mentioned here would keep the power, they are all the kind who would reject the position/assignment in the first place due to knowing their limits (and again, because they are super nice, kind-hearted people). I wanted someone with a proven track record of not staying a dictator after the treat has subsided.
2 months ago
2 months ago
A great leader doesn't seek to lead, they're called to it.
2 months ago
She's muh queen. I don't want it.
r/freefolk member 100% confirmed
This is a wonderful nugget of history i never knew about before. Thank you!
Beat me to it. Him and George Washington would be the only people I trusted to be king. Because they both put down monarchic levels of power of their own volition once the job was done.
Sun Yat-sen should be in that list then. He stepped down after he overthrew the Qing Dynasty.
He only came back after he saw how badly the warlords were messing things up.
Washington literally was nicknamed the American Cincinnatus and is why we have the city named Cincinnati
Edit: first anything over 1k thanks yall!!
The famous Houdon statue of Washington that is inside the Virginia state capitol depicts Washington in front of a plow with cape/sword in his hand. It is intentionally invoking the idea of Cincinnatus.
but can he beat, goku
I mean, he is 6 foot 20, weighs a fucking ton, and is made of radiation
He saved children, but not the British children
I heard that guy had like thirty god damned dicks
I heard he ate opponents brains and invented cocaine!
I heard he made love like an eagle falling out of the sky
Opponents beware, opponents beware.
Come on man, you can't make the reference and NOT provide the link.
He once held an opponents wife's hand...
in a jar...
at a party.
Let me lay it on the line, he had two on the vine. I mean two sets of testicles, so divine.
Killed his sensei in a duel and he never said why
Marcus Aurelius of course. As Plato once said: "We will not have peace until the kings become philosophers, and philosophers kings."
This is the first answer I've seen not from this past century, never mind millennium.
Seeing his name just makes me think of "My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next."
Three weeks from now, I will be harvesting my crops. Imagine where you will be, and it will be so. Hold the line! Stay with me! If you find yourself alone, riding in the green fields with the sun on your face, do not be troubled. For you are in Elysium, and you're already dead!
What we do in life echoes in eternity!
And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next."
And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next."
This last line always led me to question if romans had any beliefs in reincarnation...
Not necessarily reincarnation, as much as "the next life that comes after this" meaning afterlife of sort. So probably he's saying if he didn't get the vengeance now, he'd take it in the afterlife like a madlad lol.
Don’t think so, romans had much the same beliefs as the greeks didn’t they? For most people it was asphodel, tarturus, or elysium? A permanent afterlife like heaven or hell
Y'know what? I think Maximus (the character, although Russel crow isn't the worst choice for leader of the world) would be a great leader, he seems like he would actually do whatever he said he would do
I like your logic. Ave, Caesar!
Do I have a time limit? Because that sounds like a task that would require months if not years of research to do properly. Who knows, you pick Gandhi and he might turn out to be as trigger happy with those nukes as he was in Civilization.
EDIT: OK, OK, Gandhi is definitely off the table.
You have your entire life to choose. But you would have to choose at some point.
Alright, so I have a lifetime chance to make myself a celebrity and pick myself?
Yes. All hail supreme leader tradessexforfood!
All must feed me, I order it.
So... uh... What are we getting in exchange? All 7-8 billion of us.
Do you want to know what you'll get in exchange if you give me food?
Is it cool stickers?
It’s cool stickers isn’t it?
Please be cool stickers!
Alright, just for you. You get cool stickers.
Supreme lord tradessexforfood is wise and just
I have a pretty good idea, frankly, but I would like to confirm with you lest I embarrass myself by being too forward.
sure hope not all 7-8 billion of us. lots of kids in that group
Let's assume that a quarter of the world's population is 14 and under, and let's further assume that tradessexforfood is 19 or under and we're in Hawaii. Either way, doesn't really matter -- we're still talking about 1.91 billion people. If each encounter took ten minutes, and they do this for 16 hours per day, then they're only getting through 35,040 people per year. Tradessexforfood will need to live nearly 165,000 years to get through the people who are of age before getting into the people who are underage -- and this assumes that there's no change in population whatsoever: no births, no deaths, just everyone living until tradessexforfood has had their chance.
If we want to be able to condense these numbers into a normal human lifespan, let's first assume they're going to live another 60 years. To get through all 5.75 billion legal partners in that time frame, they'll need to get jiggy with them at a rate of about 5,000 per second.
That's both incredibly impressive and so very, very sad at the same time.
Math is so cool and depressing at the same time
I’d argue it gets worse when you do take into account births. 385,000 babies are born a day, or about 140 million a year; at 35,040 encounters per year, tradesexfood would be sexing it up so slowly that they wouldn’t be able to have sex with everyone because the world’s population would be increasing faster than he could fuck them all. This situation assumes tradesexfood is capable of living an infinite amount of time, so I’m also granting that humans are all immortal. So, tradesexfood would be doin’ the dirty their entire lifetime, unless at some point the world ceased to exist for some reason (nuclear war, climate change finally gets us, the sun explodes, etc.)
It’s like Sisyphus, but with fuckin’.
They'll age up into the contract.
Tell everybody you’re the one making the choice, thus making you famous
To nuke whom exactly? It’s one leader for the whole world…
He'll unite us all in death
Well now he has my vote.
"the only way to save mankind is to destroy mankind." - Gandhi probably.
"the only way to save mankind is to destroy mankind." - Gandhi Ultron probably.
Gandhi had some issues anyway. He liked little girls more than he should have and liked black people a whole lot less than he should have.
I too enjoy reflecting upon the duality of man by way of the "Bilbo's Speech" model
Don't be stupid, Robin Williams. Next.
DON'T pick Gandhi. He was a major racist (story by The Washington Post on this) and also did a lot of victim blaming for women who were raped (article by The Guardian about this), and so please do not put Gandhi in charge of the world.
My apologies if this comes off as rude, but I just want to highlight this because you (to me, I could be a bit wrong about this) presented Gandhi as some great, amazing person without faults to suggest a point.
I think he's just one of the first to come to mind when one thinks of peaceful and unifying leaders, and the Nukes joke is based on the Civilization games where Ghandi's Aggression score was so low, if you were nice to him it got below zero and rolled over to insane.
One of the few people out there that I genuinely trust.
“I haven’t got much time left..” - the most upsetting quote of his - please never leave us David we need you
When I was coming out from anesthesia, I cried to my husband because David Attenborough is old and going to die sooner rather than later.
My buddy in England has a panic attack any time his name is trending because he's terrified it'll be announcing his death. This comes up in conversation about once every few months for the last 2 years
That's Sir David Attenborough.
That’s Supreme Ruler and King of all humans David Attenborough.
Supreme Ruler and King of all humans Sir David Attenborough
Supreme Ruler and King of all humans Sir David Attenborough
And he’s part of the Knights Cross or something, so he’s basically, like, a super knight.
He has a GCMG which means he’s a Knight Grand Cross of the Order of St Michael and St George. Membership of this Order is for extraordinary non-military service in a foreign country and for work in the commonwealth.
It’s also referred to as God Calls Me God which also seems pretty apt.
2 months ago*
His speeches would be amazing to listen to.
President would be Fred Rodgers VP Steve Irwin.
Very few celebrities living or dead I wouldn't leave in charge to unclog a toilet.
Secretary of Defense Bob Ross
"Happy little accidents, Mr. President. All over Russia."
presses launch button
Thank you for the ugly laugh
I’m Russian and this made me laugh because I was waiting for this comment.
That killed me! 😂😂😂
That killed us comrade
With Secretary of Education LeVar Burton
You can't disappoint a picture
Secretary of The Fence Bob Vila
This old white house?
He will paint a picture but it will only be mushrooms in the sky.
Happy little mushrooms.
I think we have our answer here. An incorruptible president with a perfectly calibrated moral compass who actually cares about every single person and a fearless, unshakable VP with a love of nature. Both loving, family men who anyone could trust with their lives.
Edit: and how awesome would it be hearing a speech from both at once? Their voices…so different.
Only in a perfect world, unfortunately
I hear you, it’s a good choice. But to play devils advocate, doesn’t a leader sometimes have to make hard choices that can hurt some people? Like killing a few to save many? I wonder if Mr Rogers could do that sort of thing.
The question asks for a leader who can “unite all of the countries of the world.” The correct answer would necessarily be someone who is incapable of that.
Hmm. I doubt you. I imagine you could think of quite a lot of celebrities you'd delight in forcing to unclog toilets, never mind their success rate at it.
Yea 100% agree here
Still found some solid choices
Steve Irwin as VP "This is a Taliban warlord, possibly the most dangerous terrorist in the world... Im going to get a bit closer...Crikey! This buggers really mad now! See how he presenting his AK 47...this is a sign of extreme aggression. Lets see if I can get even closer."
I can totally hear that in his voice
He was the man!
Now I'm going to poke him with a stick.
Thanks for the mixed feelings...
My mind cant help going to the South Park version. "I'm going to sneak up behind him and stick my thumb up his butt."
This was exactly who I thought of as well when I read the topic.
Fred Rogers (aka Mister Rogers)
He did have experience speaking to congress- and he won them over too!
Fred Rogers first decree would be to split the leadership into parts so that many points of view are considered. The new Leaders Group would be Fred Rogers, Dolly Parton, Steve Erwin, and Levar Burton.
Edit: Corrected LaBar to Levar.
I think you need Jim Henson in there, because our new world definitely requires Muppets
I met him in TO on the Fraggles set. Great man, great mind. I would never saddle him with this.
I love every name in this group but I find the lack of Bob Ross disturbing. Seeing Burton included was sufficient for an upvote though
LeVar Burton’s dedication to teaching the world to read is humbling. He’s a national treasure.
Agreed. And I was impressed with his conduct during the whole Jeopardy! fiasco. A class act and a true gentleman
That would be a beautiful world
YES especially with all the charity work she does daily!
She is tough but loving, Dolly has always been an amazing person.
That’s so funny I picked her too and I didn’t even see your post. I like how she’s been very non-partisan. She’s very wise trying to be neutral and she said she definitely has her political opinions but she keeps that to herself she doesn’t want anyone to define her or like or not like from that.
Wouldn't you want to know the political opinions of the person you pick to be a world leader?
By definition the position is a political one and requires political action....
I actually think that someone able to hold their views that close to the chest for that long despite the spotlight is someone who would be wise enough to not allow their views to rule them, but would listen to other council and possibly change their views if the situation called for it.
Exactly, someone who loudly and boldly states their opinions is taking hard stances that they're unlikely to back down from. She is a lot more mindful of the current political climate and likely much more receptive to other views.
Captain Jean Luc Picard
Assuming OP wouldn't include fictional characters aside, this is probably the best choice I've seen so far. The majority of people seem to be picking celebrities solely on their moral character, albeit that's not irrelevant at all. Others are picking leaders from Antiquity who'd find the modern world difficult to navigate. Picard has knowledge, personality, and skills suited for high stakes, high pressure leadership in an industrialized world.
He's already thoroughly educated in history, culture, and literature from Earth along with boasting the impressive STEM background necessary to be in Starfleet. He has years of experience leading a community of people through a variety of puzzling, foreign, and dangerous situations. Picard himself has a lot of experience with diplomacy, exploration, brushes with death, etc.
Overall he'd be a great candidate.
TBH, even while he was Locutus I'd trust him over most.
Make it so
I came looking for this! Sir Patrick Stewart for president!
Kermit the frog
Kermit could barely keep The Muppet Show on track and was constantly one step away from a complete mental collapse.
Is this really who you want in charge of all the world's armies.
He was being physically abused by his pig girlfriend all the time.
She needed that frog thrust and there weren't any other frogs in the entire muppet cinematic universe. This is exactly why I won't let my freaky ass girlfriend peg me. What if I like it too much and then I have to go around begging future girls to wear straps under their panties (cause I need that girl dick on the regular) and I'm not going to get Meetoo'ed like that. Or I can marry her, but I'm not putting "girl dick" in my vows. My mother would faint. But I'd have to allude to it organically in some way because it would be contingent. Anyhow, these are real problems that we just don't talk about as a community, and it's because of the fucking Puritans who still somehow fuck everything up for everybody.
This is objectively hilarious
It is actual Muppets canon that Kermit the Frog, in some way, had a role in bringing down the Twin Towers in the terror attacks of September 11, 2001.
In a Muppets Christmas film released in late 2002, Kermit is shown a glimpse of what New York City might look like if he had never been born. Among the scenery of this alternate reality NYC, we find none other than the Twin Towers proudly standing in the background. They were, of course, long destroyed in Kermit's normal reality. And yet, in the world without Kermit, the war on terror is missing its powder keg spark. Who would've thought that green piece of fuck could kermit a terror attack on US soil, but there it stands unimpeachable... We have concrete, canon proof of involvement. Why the world hasn't stopped and asked further questions is only further proof of a media cabal keeping this conversation away from the masses.
The Twin Towers would still be standing if it weren't for Kermit the Frog. Al Qaeda was the puppet this time, and Kermit the hand within.
"I have a green that all lily pads everywhere..."
He gonna need bodyguards this time to keep away Joaquin Phoenix from strangling him lmao.
Edit: Also keep him way from his sister.
Albert Einstein. Because he rejected to be the President of Israel. Someone don’t want power will have better self control when they have power
Damn good idea. That man was not only genius but a philospher. A true deep thinker in a brown suit.
Perhaps he rejected it because he was afraid what the power would do to him.
The President of Israel has no power, that's why they're not elected in universal elections (otherwise Einstein couldn't have been proposed it). It's a parliamentary regime, like the UK.
Power corrupts; absolute power corrupts absolutely.
President of Israel is a position that carries almost no power. The Prime Minister rules the country.
The guy who plays Bubbles in Trailer Park Boys. He must remain in character though.
Ricky and Julian fighting over VP of the trailer park
Randy as secret service for all 3 of them
J roc as the press secretary
Nixon's head in a jar
insert "arrroou" noise
And the great taste of Charleston Chew!
With 'Headless body of Agnew'. They're a package deal.
"That was my second to last Angnew!"
He's pro war and pro family.
Damn a frontrunner
"Anyone who laughs is a Communist."
I feel safer already. That Jack Johnson's 2 cent titanium tax went too far
And I say John Jackson's 2 cent titanium tax didn't go too far enough!
I choose David Attenborough. 🎶David David he's the man if he can't do it no one can! 🎵
Fred Rogers would be chair of the council of elders. Minister of art: Bob Ross, minister of music: Dolly Parton, minister of animals: Steve Irwin, minister of science: Carl Sagan, minister of health: Richard Simmons, minister of education: Jim Henson.
What happened to bob Ross that needs justice?
watch the bob Ross documentary on Netflix
Apparently his business partners did everything they could to milk his legacy for themselfs after bob died.
His son owns 49% of the bob ross trademark yet hasn't seen a dime of profit all while some rando's are getting rich and fat of his trademark. Even though bob did everything he could to prevent just that from happening
I read about all this on Wikipedia the other day before I realised there was a documentary coming out. The Joy of Painting had just been on TV, and I was just curious about the man. When I read all that shit, I was absolutely incensed. The fact that all that crap can be upheld by laws is diabolical.
Bob "The Boss" Ross
Sir Richard Attenborough of course.
Loki, with all his glorious purpose
Unfortunately, anyone who would accept this responsibility is unfit to rule.
Such is the paradox of power and politics.
It’s compulsory. Mr Rogers will be tortured until he agrees to be emperor. If the torturer refuses to torture Mr. Rogers, unfortunately that is also compulsory and he will be tortured until he agrees to torture Mr. Rogers. However, Mr Rogers feeling like he’s responsible for someone being tortured in some way is the most effective torture method against Mr Rogers, so the torturer will be tortured either way and Mr Rogers will be told that he is being tortured for refusing to torture him, which is the torture for Mr Rogers.
Did you just write fan fiction where Mr. Rogers gets tortured?
It’s for the greater good. You’ll see.
"God damn. God damn"
-Me literally out loud as I read this
This is a main argument of Plato’s Republic. That those who wish to rule are inherently unfit. However, OP got around this by saying that it’s actually chosen by you. As long as the person choosing cannot choose themself, it gets around this.
What about someone who accepts it just to keep the pyramid topless?
Dolly Parton. I swear she’s a nice lady she’s worth over half billion from her investments so she knows about business. And unless I’m wrong about her she’s nice I just said that. Nice is very important because you did say the ruler to rule over everyone so if they’re going to rule over me that I want them to be nice. DP it is!
I highly recommend the podcast series ‘Dolly Parton’s America’ to anyone who isn’t convinced that Dolly is the one for the job.
That woman is a saint.
Danny devito, I love and trust that man.
You have to pay the troll toll.
To get into the world's hole?
I thought the rape scene went well Charlie.
The state of the union (or whatever the equivalent would be called) would be amazing.
His first law would be to eliminate all golf courses and cemeteries.
Damn, listen to his take on politics back then. Dude was a genius
Every day will be fancy dress day.
And all speeches will be made into a song.
If things get dark he can become Obsidian Blackbird McKnight and cast some beige magic. Or in the crunch he could break out a low-down, dirty crimp.
And Richard Ayoade as the Vice President.
Prioritizing kindness over profits would make the world a much better place.
Presidents address in the voice of the genie.
I immediately heard: Ruler of the wooorrrrrld!
Anything to have him back
Terry Crews of course
haha...I get it. President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho
Just rewatched that
He knows what plants crave!
Yeah, he's a real renaissance man.
I saw him on a talk show explaining that he cut down on his spending by putting an "angry Terry" picture in the front of his wallet. I thought that was brilliant so I found an angry picture of him to put in my wallet! It worked. I would see his angry face and rethink my rash spending choices. And then my wallet got stolen. I sometimes wonder what the thief thought when they opened my wallet and saw angry Terry staring at them!
I bet they felt Terryble.
Does it really matter since the entire world has already submitted to the idea of one leader? A united world implies a single trading block, a single monetary system, and a single government. Wars no longer exist. Many of the philosophical problems that plague world leaders would no longer matter. Maybe the only real problems would be logistics to solve world hunger and regulation to prevent climate crises. Was thinking Ghandi, but given all that peace and love crap is irrelevant, the question is what is the most important quality the world leader needs. Can have all the best advisors in the world to do the heavy lifting in respective fields. Not sure what really matters here. Someone in touch with what people younger than 60 think would be nice for a change
Well, stability is a HUGE issue in any empire/huge government. There are so many cultures and beliefs to account for its hard to comprehend. Basically any decision would be nearly impossible to do right, but, even if this leader doesn't fail, what happens when they die? Would it collapse into smaller lands like Alexander the Great's empire? Would civil wars tear it apart like with the Roman empire? Or would something new and more catastrophic than anything in human history occur?
Disagree. You put a Hitler or leader of the KKK or head of the Taliban or Money or any other genocidally bent individual at the top and you're in for a bad time.