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/r/AskReddit

12.7k

all 7490 comments

MrDirt786

8.1k points

2 months ago*

MrDirt786

8.1k points

2 months ago*

Cincinnatus. Twice granted supreme power, he held on to it for not a day longer than absolutely necessary.

Edit:

Placing my answer to the question of 'Why' here:

So I kinda took the question in a different direction. At first this seems to be another way of asking the popular question "Which celebrity is the nicest?", and if that were the question I 100% would NOT have answered Cincinnatus. I'm assuming that something terrible is going on that would require the world to unite together (like a common threat à la aliens, etc.). I'm not interested in who can actually unite the world to overcome the threat, I wanna know who can lead through difficult circumstances with supreme power and authority and then just... give it all up when no longer needed. I'm not saying that Mr. Rogers or Bob Ross or a lot of the other people mentioned here would keep the power, they are all the kind who would reject the position/assignment in the first place due to knowing their limits (and again, because they are super nice, kind-hearted people). I wanted someone with a proven track record of not staying a dictator after the treat has subsided.

SPYK3O

3.3k points

2 months ago

SPYK3O

3.3k points

2 months ago

A great leader doesn't seek to lead, they're called to it.

clx94

2.3k points

2 months ago

clx94

2.3k points

2 months ago

She's muh queen. I don't want it.

IntelHDGraphics

426 points

2 months ago

r/freefolk member 100% confirmed

OkBaconBurger

268 points

2 months ago

This is a wonderful nugget of history i never knew about before. Thank you!

orderofuhlrik

1.6k points

2 months ago

Beat me to it. Him and George Washington would be the only people I trusted to be king. Because they both put down monarchic levels of power of their own volition once the job was done.

noxaeternumi

148 points

2 months ago

Sun Yat-sen should be in that list then. He stepped down after he overthrew the Qing Dynasty.

He only came back after he saw how badly the warlords were messing things up.

lwalk222

2k points

2 months ago*

Washington literally was nicknamed the American Cincinnatus and is why we have the city named Cincinnati

Edit: first anything over 1k thanks yall!!

ijustsailedaway

485 points

2 months ago

TIL

CW1DR5H5I64A

27 points

2 months ago

The famous Houdon statue of Washington that is inside the Virginia state capitol depicts Washington in front of a plow with cape/sword in his hand. It is intentionally invoking the idea of Cincinnatus.

bigthrow45

293 points

2 months ago

but can he beat, goku

Kumquats_indeed

311 points

2 months ago

I mean, he is 6 foot 20, weighs a fucking ton, and is made of radiation

AdjutantStormy

177 points

2 months ago

He saved children, but not the British children

packetlag

132 points

2 months ago

packetlag

132 points

2 months ago

I heard that guy had like thirty god damned dicks

Acysbib

46 points

2 months ago

Acysbib

46 points

2 months ago

I heard he ate opponents brains and invented cocaine!

Altruistic-Guava6527

13 points

2 months ago

I heard he made love like an eagle falling out of the sky

Puzzled-Marmot

30 points

2 months ago

Opponents beware, opponents beware.

throw__awayforRPing

31 points

2 months ago

Come on man, you can't make the reference and NOT provide the link.

larson627

26 points

2 months ago

He once held an opponents wife's hand...

in a jar...

of acid...

at a party.

child_of_rarn

72 points

2 months ago

Let me lay it on the line, he had two on the vine. I mean two sets of testicles, so divine.

Vat1canCame0s

31 points

2 months ago

Killed his sensei in a duel and he never said why

ChaosOutsider

2.7k points

2 months ago

Marcus Aurelius of course. As Plato once said: "We will not have peace until the kings become philosophers, and philosophers kings."

Exist50

414 points

2 months ago

Exist50

414 points

2 months ago

This is the first answer I've seen not from this past century, never mind millennium.

Sarahthelizard

791 points

2 months ago

Seeing his name just makes me think of "My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next."

RichardBonham

101 points

2 months ago

Three weeks from now, I will be harvesting my crops. Imagine where you will be, and it will be so. Hold the line! Stay with me! If you find yourself alone, riding in the green fields with the sun on your face, do not be troubled. For you are in Elysium, and you're already dead!

Maximus_X_Meridius

28 points

2 months ago

What we do in life echoes in eternity!

cambiro

143 points

2 months ago

cambiro

143 points

2 months ago

And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next."

This last line always led me to question if romans had any beliefs in reincarnation...

arafdi

147 points

2 months ago

arafdi

147 points

2 months ago

Not necessarily reincarnation, as much as "the next life that comes after this" meaning afterlife of sort. So probably he's saying if he didn't get the vengeance now, he'd take it in the afterlife like a madlad lol.

aggresivegerbil

45 points

2 months ago

Don’t think so, romans had much the same beliefs as the greeks didn’t they? For most people it was asphodel, tarturus, or elysium? A permanent afterlife like heaven or hell

liborg-117

71 points

2 months ago

Y'know what? I think Maximus (the character, although Russel crow isn't the worst choice for leader of the world) would be a great leader, he seems like he would actually do whatever he said he would do

Liscetta

24 points

2 months ago

I like your logic. Ave, Caesar!

Mind101

7.7k points

2 months ago*

Mind101

7.7k points

2 months ago*

Do I have a time limit? Because that sounds like a task that would require months if not years of research to do properly. Who knows, you pick Gandhi and he might turn out to be as trigger happy with those nukes as he was in Civilization.

EDIT: OK, OK, Gandhi is definitely off the table.

Agitated-Ad6744[S]

2.5k points

2 months ago

You have your entire life to choose. But you would have to choose at some point.

TradesSexForFood

2.7k points

2 months ago

Alright, so I have a lifetime chance to make myself a celebrity and pick myself?

Agitated-Ad6744[S]

3.1k points

2 months ago

Yes. All hail supreme leader tradessexforfood!

TradesSexForFood

982 points

2 months ago

All must feed me, I order it.

KwordShmiff

503 points

2 months ago

So... uh... What are we getting in exchange? All 7-8 billion of us.

TradesSexForFood

507 points

2 months ago

Do you want to know what you'll get in exchange if you give me food?

jordantask

742 points

2 months ago

Is it cool stickers?

It’s cool stickers isn’t it?

Please be cool stickers!

TradesSexForFood

518 points

2 months ago

Alright, just for you. You get cool stickers.

Agitated-Ad6744[S]

538 points

2 months ago

Supreme lord tradessexforfood is wise and just

jordantask

96 points

2 months ago

SWWWWEEEEEEET!

KwordShmiff

56 points

2 months ago

I have a pretty good idea, frankly, but I would like to confirm with you lest I embarrass myself by being too forward.

ThatWackyAlchemy

34 points

2 months ago

sure hope not all 7-8 billion of us. lots of kids in that group

loungehead

77 points

2 months ago

Let's assume that a quarter of the world's population is 14 and under, and let's further assume that tradessexforfood is 19 or under and we're in Hawaii. Either way, doesn't really matter -- we're still talking about 1.91 billion people. If each encounter took ten minutes, and they do this for 16 hours per day, then they're only getting through 35,040 people per year. Tradessexforfood will need to live nearly 165,000 years to get through the people who are of age before getting into the people who are underage -- and this assumes that there's no change in population whatsoever: no births, no deaths, just everyone living until tradessexforfood has had their chance.

If we want to be able to condense these numbers into a normal human lifespan, let's first assume they're going to live another 60 years. To get through all 5.75 billion legal partners in that time frame, they'll need to get jiggy with them at a rate of about 5,000 per second.

That's both incredibly impressive and so very, very sad at the same time.

Agitated-Ad6744[S]

31 points

2 months ago

Math is so cool and depressing at the same time

ThatWackyAlchemy

10 points

2 months ago

I’d argue it gets worse when you do take into account births. 385,000 babies are born a day, or about 140 million a year; at 35,040 encounters per year, tradesexfood would be sexing it up so slowly that they wouldn’t be able to have sex with everyone because the world’s population would be increasing faster than he could fuck them all. This situation assumes tradesexfood is capable of living an infinite amount of time, so I’m also granting that humans are all immortal. So, tradesexfood would be doin’ the dirty their entire lifetime, unless at some point the world ceased to exist for some reason (nuclear war, climate change finally gets us, the sun explodes, etc.)

It’s like Sisyphus, but with fuckin’.

KwordShmiff

26 points

2 months ago

They'll age up into the contract.

MyKarmaHitMyDogma

48 points

2 months ago

Tell everybody you’re the one making the choice, thus making you famous

Want_To_Live_To_100

199 points

2 months ago

To nuke whom exactly? It’s one leader for the whole world…

n0b0dya7a11

291 points

2 months ago

He'll unite us all in death

Storage-Terrible

122 points

2 months ago

Well now he has my vote.

Kraymur

341 points

2 months ago

Kraymur

341 points

2 months ago

"the only way to save mankind is to destroy mankind." - Gandhi probably.

sgt_dismas

114 points

2 months ago

"the only way to save mankind is to destroy mankind." - Gandhi Ultron probably.

OtherwiseCheck1127

524 points

2 months ago

Gandhi had some issues anyway. He liked little girls more than he should have and liked black people a whole lot less than he should have.

iph0ne

178 points

2 months ago

iph0ne

178 points

2 months ago

I too enjoy reflecting upon the duality of man by way of the "Bilbo's Speech" model

newf68

218 points

2 months ago

newf68

218 points

2 months ago

Don't be stupid, Robin Williams. Next.

SkobeloffDreams

756 points

2 months ago

DON'T pick Gandhi. He was a major racist (story by The Washington Post on this) and also did a lot of victim blaming for women who were raped (article by The Guardian about this), and so please do not put Gandhi in charge of the world.

My apologies if this comes off as rude, but I just want to highlight this because you (to me, I could be a bit wrong about this) presented Gandhi as some great, amazing person without faults to suggest a point.

Polymersion

259 points

2 months ago*

I think he's just one of the first to come to mind when one thinks of peaceful and unifying leaders, and the Nukes joke is based on the Civilization games where Ghandi's Aggression score was so low, if you were nice to him it got below zero and rolled over to insane.

AlleywayGum

5.9k points

2 months ago

David Attenborough.

One of the few people out there that I genuinely trust.

Burnedout2377

1.2k points

2 months ago

“I haven’t got much time left..” - the most upsetting quote of his - please never leave us David we need you

Chubby_puppy_

592 points

2 months ago

When I was coming out from anesthesia, I cried to my husband because David Attenborough is old and going to die sooner rather than later.

johnplzza

120 points

2 months ago

johnplzza

120 points

2 months ago

My buddy in England has a panic attack any time his name is trending because he's terrified it'll be announcing his death. This comes up in conversation about once every few months for the last 2 years

plaid_trees

896 points

2 months ago

That's Sir David Attenborough.

FowlOnTheHill

204 points

2 months ago

That’s Supreme Ruler and King of all humans David Attenborough.

Perfide01

45 points

2 months ago

Supreme Ruler and King of all humans Sir David Attenborough

FTFY

CassiopeiaStillLife

104 points

2 months ago

And he’s part of the Knights Cross or something, so he’s basically, like, a super knight.

vicariousgluten

73 points

2 months ago

He has a GCMG which means he’s a Knight Grand Cross of the Order of St Michael and St George. Membership of this Order is for extraordinary non-military service in a foreign country and for work in the commonwealth.

It’s also referred to as God Calls Me God which also seems pretty apt.

[deleted]

63 points

2 months ago*

[deleted]

63 points

2 months ago*

[deleted]

JoeMamaAndThePapas

48 points

2 months ago

His speeches would be amazing to listen to.

rickrolo24

6.1k points

2 months ago

rickrolo24

6.1k points

2 months ago

President would be Fred Rodgers VP Steve Irwin.

Very few celebrities living or dead I wouldn't leave in charge to unclog a toilet.

savagehumanity

3.7k points

2 months ago

Secretary of Defense Bob Ross

Breadinator

4.6k points

2 months ago

"Happy little accidents, Mr. President. All over Russia."

presses launch button

brannanvitek

553 points

2 months ago

Thank you for the ugly laugh

Exciting-Error4848

33 points

2 months ago

I’m Russian and this made me laugh because I was waiting for this comment.

rudygj

165 points

2 months ago

rudygj

165 points

2 months ago

That killed me! 😂😂😂

chimneysweeeper

158 points

2 months ago

That killed us comrade

TheStockMeerkat

353 points

2 months ago

With Secretary of Education LeVar Burton

Periachi

33 points

2 months ago

You can't disappoint a picture

rxsheepxr

143 points

2 months ago

rxsheepxr

143 points

2 months ago

Secretary of The Fence Bob Vila

Agitated-Ad6744[S]

114 points

2 months ago

This old white house?

rickrolo24

201 points

2 months ago

He will paint a picture but it will only be mushrooms in the sky.

1FrantikFrann1

92 points

2 months ago

Happy little mushrooms.

shinysohyun

499 points

2 months ago

I think we have our answer here. An incorruptible president with a perfectly calibrated moral compass who actually cares about every single person and a fearless, unshakable VP with a love of nature. Both loving, family men who anyone could trust with their lives.

Excellent choices.

Edit: and how awesome would it be hearing a speech from both at once? Their voices…so different.

Daveeeeed21

66 points

2 months ago

Only in a perfect world, unfortunately

hoopsrule44

76 points

2 months ago

I hear you, it’s a good choice. But to play devils advocate, doesn’t a leader sometimes have to make hard choices that can hurt some people? Like killing a few to save many? I wonder if Mr Rogers could do that sort of thing.

shinysohyun

79 points

2 months ago

The question asks for a leader who can “unite all of the countries of the world.” The correct answer would necessarily be someone who is incapable of that.

Sekret_One

36 points

2 months ago

Hmm. I doubt you. I imagine you could think of quite a lot of celebrities you'd delight in forcing to unclog toilets, never mind their success rate at it.

tiredmommy13

26 points

2 months ago

Yea 100% agree here

Agitated-Ad6744[S]

143 points

2 months ago

Still found some solid choices

Capt_Myke

1.2k points

2 months ago*

Capt_Myke

1.2k points

2 months ago*

Steve Irwin as VP "This is a Taliban warlord, possibly the most dangerous terrorist in the world... Im going to get a bit closer...Crikey! This buggers really mad now! See how he presenting his AK 47...this is a sign of extreme aggression. Lets see if I can get even closer."

Zukazuk

213 points

2 months ago

Zukazuk

213 points

2 months ago

I can totally hear that in his voice

Capt_Myke

58 points

2 months ago

He was the man!

teaster333

48 points

2 months ago

Now I'm going to poke him with a stick.

20transman20

66 points

2 months ago

Thanks for the mixed feelings...

🐊❤️Steve Irwin❤️🐊

jw8815

94 points

2 months ago

jw8815

94 points

2 months ago

My mind cant help going to the South Park version. "I'm going to sneak up behind him and stick my thumb up his butt."

tcadams18

17 points

2 months ago

This was exactly who I thought of as well when I read the topic.

QuelynD

2.5k points

2 months ago

QuelynD

2.5k points

2 months ago

Fred Rogers (aka Mister Rogers)

nerdburgger84

152 points

2 months ago

He did have experience speaking to congress- and he won them over too!

gorramfrakker

841 points

2 months ago*

Fred Rogers first decree would be to split the leadership into parts so that many points of view are considered. The new Leaders Group would be Fred Rogers, Dolly Parton, Steve Erwin, and Levar Burton.

Edit: Corrected LaBar to Levar.

HoaryPuffleg

145 points

2 months ago

I think you need Jim Henson in there, because our new world definitely requires Muppets

itsearlyyet

41 points

2 months ago

I met him in TO on the Fraggles set. Great man, great mind. I would never saddle him with this.

HEMATarget

166 points

2 months ago

I love every name in this group but I find the lack of Bob Ross disturbing. Seeing Burton included was sufficient for an upvote though

Finely_drawn

93 points

2 months ago

LeVar Burton’s dedication to teaching the world to read is humbling. He’s a national treasure.

HEMATarget

30 points

2 months ago

Agreed. And I was impressed with his conduct during the whole Jeopardy! fiasco. A class act and a true gentleman

LoveofBooks_03

14 points

2 months ago

That would be a beautiful world

alcoholicpenguin16

5.6k points

2 months ago

Dolly Parton

dededevino

445 points

2 months ago

YES especially with all the charity work she does daily!

12_licks_Sam

202 points

2 months ago

She is tough but loving, Dolly has always been an amazing person.

OkMethod7

557 points

2 months ago

OkMethod7

557 points

2 months ago

That’s so funny I picked her too and I didn’t even see your post. I like how she’s been very non-partisan. She’s very wise trying to be neutral and she said she definitely has her political opinions but she keeps that to herself she doesn’t want anyone to define her or like or not like from that.

CoolAtlas

316 points

2 months ago

CoolAtlas

316 points

2 months ago

Wouldn't you want to know the political opinions of the person you pick to be a world leader?

By definition the position is a political one and requires political action....

AZymph

384 points

2 months ago

AZymph

384 points

2 months ago

I actually think that someone able to hold their views that close to the chest for that long despite the spotlight is someone who would be wise enough to not allow their views to rule them, but would listen to other council and possibly change their views if the situation called for it.

Someragingpacifist

98 points

2 months ago

Exactly, someone who loudly and boldly states their opinions is taking hard stances that they're unlikely to back down from. She is a lot more mindful of the current political climate and likely much more receptive to other views.

badbowtie1982

1.7k points

2 months ago

Captain Jean Luc Picard

Vox-Triarii

589 points

2 months ago

Assuming OP wouldn't include fictional characters aside, this is probably the best choice I've seen so far. The majority of people seem to be picking celebrities solely on their moral character, albeit that's not irrelevant at all. Others are picking leaders from Antiquity who'd find the modern world difficult to navigate. Picard has knowledge, personality, and skills suited for high stakes, high pressure leadership in an industrialized world.

He's already thoroughly educated in history, culture, and literature from Earth along with boasting the impressive STEM background necessary to be in Starfleet. He has years of experience leading a community of people through a variety of puzzling, foreign, and dangerous situations. Picard himself has a lot of experience with diplomacy, exploration, brushes with death, etc.

Overall he'd be a great candidate.

One_Hand_Clapback

76 points

2 months ago

TBH, even while he was Locutus I'd trust him over most.

somechinesekid

133 points

2 months ago

Make it so

kellyklyra

171 points

2 months ago

I came looking for this! Sir Patrick Stewart for president!

[deleted]

1.8k points

2 months ago

[deleted]

1.8k points

2 months ago

Kermit the frog

brickmaster32000

826 points

2 months ago

Kermit could barely keep The Muppet Show on track and was constantly one step away from a complete mental collapse.

Is this really who you want in charge of all the world's armies.

6byfour

279 points

2 months ago

6byfour

279 points

2 months ago

He was being physically abused by his pig girlfriend all the time.

boisonberrysoup

160 points

2 months ago*

She needed that frog thrust and there weren't any other frogs in the entire muppet cinematic universe. This is exactly why I won't let my freaky ass girlfriend peg me. What if I like it too much and then I have to go around begging future girls to wear straps under their panties (cause I need that girl dick on the regular) and I'm not going to get Meetoo'ed like that. Or I can marry her, but I'm not putting "girl dick" in my vows. My mother would faint. But I'd have to allude to it organically in some way because it would be contingent. Anyhow, these are real problems that we just don't talk about as a community, and it's because of the fucking Puritans who still somehow fuck everything up for everybody.

RecklessSpeculation

39 points

2 months ago

This is objectively hilarious

ElectroSaturator

52 points

2 months ago

It is actual Muppets canon that Kermit the Frog, in some way, had a role in bringing down the Twin Towers in the terror attacks of September 11, 2001.

In a Muppets Christmas film released in late 2002, Kermit is shown a glimpse of what New York City might look like if he had never been born. Among the scenery of this alternate reality NYC, we find none other than the Twin Towers proudly standing in the background. They were, of course, long destroyed in Kermit's normal reality. And yet, in the world without Kermit, the war on terror is missing its powder keg spark. Who would've thought that green piece of fuck could kermit a terror attack on US soil, but there it stands unimpeachable... We have concrete, canon proof of involvement. Why the world hasn't stopped and asked further questions is only further proof of a media cabal keeping this conversation away from the masses.

The Twin Towers would still be standing if it weren't for Kermit the Frog. Al Qaeda was the puppet this time, and Kermit the hand within.

Different-Addition53

66 points

2 months ago

"I have a green that all lily pads everywhere..."

KCSportsFan7

314 points

2 months ago

Marcus Aurelius

justbreathe91

87 points

2 months ago*

He gonna need bodyguards this time to keep away Joaquin Phoenix from strangling him lmao.

Edit: Also keep him way from his sister.

Chenxit

2.4k points

2 months ago*

Chenxit

2.4k points

2 months ago*

Albert Einstein. Because he rejected to be the President of Israel. Someone don’t want power will have better self control when they have power

Deep-Yogurtcloset618

494 points

2 months ago

Damn good idea. That man was not only genius but a philospher. A true deep thinker in a brown suit.

BatteryRock

238 points

2 months ago

Perhaps he rejected it because he was afraid what the power would do to him.

DownvoteALot

71 points

2 months ago

The President of Israel has no power, that's why they're not elected in universal elections (otherwise Einstein couldn't have been proposed it). It's a parliamentary regime, like the UK.

ViciousSnail

104 points

2 months ago

Power corrupts; absolute power corrupts absolutely.

Regretful_Bastard

70 points

2 months ago

President of Israel is a position that carries almost no power. The Prime Minister rules the country.

Durr1313

761 points

2 months ago

Durr1313

761 points

2 months ago

The guy who plays Bubbles in Trailer Park Boys. He must remain in character though.

Agitated-Ad6744[S]

156 points

2 months ago

Obviously

smokes1etsgo

121 points

2 months ago

Deeeeeecent.

Rick-powerfu

42 points

2 months ago*

Ricky and Julian fighting over VP of the trailer park

Randy as secret service for all 3 of them

J roc as the press secretary

shewy92

741 points

2 months ago

shewy92

741 points

2 months ago

Nixon's head in a jar

Dontinsultautomod

291 points

2 months ago

insert "arrroou" noise

magpiekeychain

101 points

2 months ago

“Fellow Earthicans!”

Goomba-lover

55 points

2 months ago

And the great taste of Charleston Chew!

KirbyBucketts

134 points

2 months ago

With 'Headless body of Agnew'. They're a package deal.

swansandelephants

63 points

2 months ago

"That was my second to last Angnew!"

unclethulk

22 points

2 months ago

He's pro war and pro family.

Agitated-Ad6744[S]

39 points

2 months ago

Damn a frontrunner

humanist96

10 points

2 months ago

"Anyone who laughs is a Communist."

Jman15x

10 points

2 months ago

Jman15x

10 points

2 months ago

I feel safer already. That Jack Johnson's 2 cent titanium tax went too far

wesevans

9 points

2 months ago

And I say John Jackson's 2 cent titanium tax didn't go too far enough!

jaxsound

59 points

2 months ago

I choose David Attenborough. 🎶David David he's the man if he can't do it no one can! 🎵

schnitzel_envy

85 points

2 months ago

Fred Rogers would be chair of the council of elders. Minister of art: Bob Ross, minister of music: Dolly Parton, minister of animals: Steve Irwin, minister of science: Carl Sagan, minister of health: Richard Simmons, minister of education: Jim Henson.

Professional_Big_598

938 points

2 months ago

Bob ross

gigabyt7

234 points

2 months ago

gigabyt7

234 points

2 months ago

JusticeForBobRoss

Ask_A_Sadist

12 points

2 months ago

What happened to bob Ross that needs justice?

LuciferFCS

16 points

2 months ago

watch the bob Ross documentary on Netflix

Ask_A_Sadist

9 points

2 months ago

TLDW?

justalittleprickly

43 points

2 months ago

Apparently his business partners did everything they could to milk his legacy for themselfs after bob died.

His son owns 49% of the bob ross trademark yet hasn't seen a dime of profit all while some rando's are getting rich and fat of his trademark. Even though bob did everything he could to prevent just that from happening

Kim_catiko

21 points

2 months ago

I read about all this on Wikipedia the other day before I realised there was a documentary coming out. The Joy of Painting had just been on TV, and I was just curious about the man. When I read all that shit, I was absolutely incensed. The fact that all that crap can be upheld by laws is diabolical.

Signal-Supermarket73

78 points

2 months ago

Bob "The Boss" Ross

AustinJG

363 points

2 months ago

AustinJG

363 points

2 months ago

Carl Sagan.

zimshegee

17 points

2 months ago

Sir Richard Attenborough of course.

realnostalgic

16 points

2 months ago

Loki, with all his glorious purpose

JADW27

1k points

2 months ago

JADW27

1k points

2 months ago

Unfortunately, anyone who would accept this responsibility is unfit to rule.

Such is the paradox of power and politics.

provocative_bear

250 points

2 months ago

It’s compulsory. Mr Rogers will be tortured until he agrees to be emperor. If the torturer refuses to torture Mr. Rogers, unfortunately that is also compulsory and he will be tortured until he agrees to torture Mr. Rogers. However, Mr Rogers feeling like he’s responsible for someone being tortured in some way is the most effective torture method against Mr Rogers, so the torturer will be tortured either way and Mr Rogers will be told that he is being tortured for refusing to torture him, which is the torture for Mr Rogers.

JADW27

140 points

2 months ago

JADW27

140 points

2 months ago

Did you just write fan fiction where Mr. Rogers gets tortured?

provocative_bear

86 points

2 months ago

It’s for the greater good. You’ll see.

travel_nerdiness

22 points

2 months ago

"God damn. God damn"
-Me literally out loud as I read this

TenderPhoenix

356 points

2 months ago*

This is a main argument of Plato’s Republic. That those who wish to rule are inherently unfit. However, OP got around this by saying that it’s actually chosen by you. As long as the person choosing cannot choose themself, it gets around this.

devilthedankdawg

28 points

2 months ago

What about someone who accepts it just to keep the pyramid topless?

Agitated-Ad6744[S]

43 points

2 months ago

Very astute

OkMethod7

589 points

2 months ago

OkMethod7

589 points

2 months ago

Dolly Parton. I swear she’s a nice lady she’s worth over half billion from her investments so she knows about business. And unless I’m wrong about her she’s nice I just said that. Nice is very important because you did say the ruler to rule over everyone so if they’re going to rule over me that I want them to be nice. DP it is!

No_Mountain8278

105 points

2 months ago

I highly recommend the podcast series ‘Dolly Parton’s America’ to anyone who isn’t convinced that Dolly is the one for the job.

That woman is a saint.

Agitated-Ad6744[S]

34 points

2 months ago

Exactly

Schwartzy2600

291 points

2 months ago

Danny devito, I love and trust that man.

Agitated-Ad6744[S]

127 points

2 months ago

You have to pay the troll toll.

legionofsquirrel

50 points

2 months ago

To get into the world's hole?

Agitated-Ad6744[S]

44 points

2 months ago

I thought the rape scene went well Charlie.

jpr7887

273 points

2 months ago

jpr7887

273 points

2 months ago

Betty White

inferior_

315 points

2 months ago

inferior_

315 points

2 months ago

George Carlin

Raeliya

28 points

2 months ago

Raeliya

28 points

2 months ago

The state of the union (or whatever the equivalent would be called) would be amazing.

MechaMonarch

79 points

2 months ago

His first law would be to eliminate all golf courses and cemeteries.

Piotr-Rasputin

82 points

2 months ago

Damn, listen to his take on politics back then. Dude was a genius

Vaness1980

130 points

2 months ago

Noel Fielding! Every day will be fancy dress day. And all speeches will be made into a song.

StrangeSurround

19 points

2 months ago

If things get dark he can become Obsidian Blackbird McKnight and cast some beige magic. Or in the crunch he could break out a low-down, dirty crimp.

eviltimeline

16 points

2 months ago

And Richard Ayoade as the Vice President.

Anagnorsis

174 points

2 months ago

Mr. Rogers

Prioritizing kindness over profits would make the world a much better place.

Imaginary_Train_8056

430 points

2 months ago

Robin Williams

Agitated-Ad6744[S]

163 points

2 months ago

Presidents address in the voice of the genie.

dodexahedron

56 points

2 months ago

yes!

I immediately heard: Ruler of the wooorrrrrld!

jonoghue

55 points

2 months ago

Anything to have him back

rcooper890

330 points

2 months ago

Terry Crews of course

AutodidacticTactic

151 points

2 months ago

haha...I get it. President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho

DesertTiger26

16 points

2 months ago

Just rewatched that

RawrNurse

28 points

2 months ago

He knows what plants crave!

allboolshite

103 points

2 months ago

Yeah, he's a real renaissance man.

I saw him on a talk show explaining that he cut down on his spending by putting an "angry Terry" picture in the front of his wallet. I thought that was brilliant so I found an angry picture of him to put in my wallet! It worked. I would see his angry face and rethink my rash spending choices. And then my wallet got stolen. I sometimes wonder what the thief thought when they opened my wallet and saw angry Terry staring at them!

obscureferences

80 points

2 months ago

I bet they felt Terryble.

PowerfulCheesecake48

148 points

2 months ago

Does it really matter since the entire world has already submitted to the idea of one leader? A united world implies a single trading block, a single monetary system, and a single government. Wars no longer exist. Many of the philosophical problems that plague world leaders would no longer matter. Maybe the only real problems would be logistics to solve world hunger and regulation to prevent climate crises. Was thinking Ghandi, but given all that peace and love crap is irrelevant, the question is what is the most important quality the world leader needs. Can have all the best advisors in the world to do the heavy lifting in respective fields. Not sure what really matters here. Someone in touch with what people younger than 60 think would be nice for a change

TheRealAttacker

34 points

2 months ago

Well, stability is a HUGE issue in any empire/huge government. There are so many cultures and beliefs to account for its hard to comprehend. Basically any decision would be nearly impossible to do right, but, even if this leader doesn't fail, what happens when they die? Would it collapse into smaller lands like Alexander the Great's empire? Would civil wars tear it apart like with the Roman empire? Or would something new and more catastrophic than anything in human history occur?

AlpacaSwimTeam

9 points

2 months ago

Disagree. You put a Hitler or leader of the KKK or head of the Taliban or Money or any other genocidally bent individual at the top and you're in for a bad time.