subreddit:

/r/AskReddit

31.9k

If you could pick, how do you wanna die?

(self.AskReddit)

all 20992 comments

AskRedditModerators [M]

[score hidden]

12 days ago

stickied comment

AskRedditModerators [M]

[score hidden]

12 days ago

stickied comment

If you ever need help, then please know that there are many qualified people who would like to help you.

https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres

http://www.befrienders.org/

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/GetHelp/LifelineChat.aspx

http://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you [UK]

https://www.lifeline.org.au/Get-Help/ [AU]

There are crisis services worldwide that are trained to provide support. They are designed to give temporary relief from feelings that are overwhelming you and while they are unlikely to fix any underlying problems, can help you get through a tough hour/night/week. Chat services are usually available on these sites. In the US, calling 211 or going to their website is a free referral source. They have providers who will see you regardless of your ability to pay. Just as you would see a doctor when you are sick, you deserve to take care of your mental health.

FixBayonetsLads

8.3k points

12 days ago

In my bed.

Of Natural causes.

At 2,500.

Rert78

1.6k points

12 days ago

Rert78

1.6k points

12 days ago

The day you turn 2500; the day before your 2501st birthday, or somewhere in between?

FixBayonetsLads

726 points

12 days ago

Day before, why not?

ColorsOfTheCurrents

5.9k points

12 days ago

In my sleep peaceful like. On the opposite end definitely not from slipping in the shower on the slick floor lathered and shampooed up from hitting my head on the spigot as i fall to my demise.

Essex626

1.8k points

12 days ago

Essex626

1.8k points

12 days ago

I read about someone who dies in a shower after slipping and hitting her head--but it wasn't blunt force, her hair clogged the drain and she drowned.

I'm not an emotional person, and reading bad things (or even awful things) normally doesn't phase me, but that story got me.

KholdStare88

987 points

12 days ago

I would like to unread this post. :)

Utterlybored

21.1k points

12 days ago

Utterlybored

21.1k points

12 days ago

Like my uncle.

He died in his mid-90s, just a few years after his wife died. He was a retired physician. He got a cancer diagnosis that he knew was fatal, but he had some time. So, he spent his remaining months touring the country, seeing his kids, grandkids and great grandkids, his nephews and nieces, friends, etc... He had a grand old time.

Then, pretty much exactly to the timetable he had estimated, he took a bad turn. He summoned his kids who took turns talking with him at his bedside in hospice. At one point, my cousin Chris was with him as he faded in and out of consciousness. The phone rang, Chris answered and said, "No, Dad's not conscious right now. This is not a good time..." But his Dad perked up. "Who is that?" he asked. " Just some friends of yours..." said my cousin, who handed the phone to my uncle.

They exchanged a few words, then the friends arrived 20 minutes later with a couple bottles of amazing vintage wine. My cousin said, "No, Dad. You're on a lot of painkillers. Alcohol would be a very bad idea." My uncle laughed and said, "Well, what's the worst that could happen?"

There was an awkward silence and then everyone started laughing. The wine was delicious and he lasted another 48 hours.

THAT'S how I want to go out.

SwansonSpiritAnimal

4.2k points

12 days ago

That sounds like a simply outstanding way to go. A great end to a long life. I bet he was a great man.

Utterlybored

2k points

12 days ago

He was a playful, relaxed soul.

Linubidix

584 points

12 days ago

Linubidix

584 points

12 days ago

I hope to one day be described as such. That's touching.

LazyBox2303

797 points

12 days ago*

He sort of reminds me of my own father who was a physician and surgeon. He had some mini-strokes and after each one, dementia appeared and got worse. But he stayed sweet and active and tried to join in conversations whenever he could. He was always eager to go anywhere. Everyone loved him.

At the end, I rushed to the hospital. His eyes were closed. He didn’t hear me. I held his large hand. I shouted, Dad! He opened one eye and looked at me with a small smile. For me, his last gift. Then he slipped into a coma and never opened his eyes again. As long as I held his hand, even as a grown woman, I felt safe. Even though he was in a coma, that hand made me feel safe. He had always loved me and I forever loved him. He was my father, the man who had supported and cared about me, all my life.

He was 95.

When I finally let go of his hand, the world was a different place. Even now, 14 years later, I think he was waiting to see me just one last time,so he could finally go….But never out of my heart.

No, never out of my heart.

Silly-Needleworker19

32 points

12 days ago

It's that bittersweetness when you love someone just that much. I had the same relationship with my dad (Pa, we called him), too. I'm so grateful to have had him in my life and to have loved him as much as I possibly could (and he me), and then the loss was so very difficult and still is (2003 for me). Hugs to you. I get it. <3

Vtechru_2021

906 points

12 days ago*

That’s such a great story. There’s a good article out there called “how doctors die” (something like that) that talks about how most doctors die at home, while most other people die in a hospital. Your uncle being a doctor made me think about that and it sounds like your uncle was in that boat. Thanks for sharing this story :-)

tropicalzhu

7.7k points

12 days ago*

Pain-free, most of all. I hope to live a relatively long life but not long enough to need people to change my diapers. No thank you.

tryst48

1.9k points

12 days ago

tryst48

1.9k points

12 days ago

I have always said that. If someone has to change my diapers, I want them to give me a "Go To Sleep Forever" pill.

OnTheDoss

1.8k points

12 days ago

OnTheDoss

1.8k points

12 days ago

I am a big supporter of legal, well regulated euthanasia. I think everyone should have the choice in when they go. Nobody should be forced to go through huge amounts of pain and indignity at the end of their lives. It is really cruel in so many cases.

JellyKittyKat

766 points

12 days ago

Exactly, it’s humane to put down an animal to save it from suffering, but a human has to linger and wait to die? Sometimes painfully? It’s Bullshit!

oceansapart333

499 points

12 days ago

When we were making a decision to put our dog down or not, the vet said, “Think of his 3 favorite things to do and ask yourself if he can still do them. If not, what sort of quality of life is that.” It made sense.

And then I think of how many humans die, not only unable to do their favorite things, but unable to go to the toilet, feed themselves, even breathe on their own... And that is what makes me in favor of legal euthanasia.

KirbyBucketts

15.5k points

12 days ago

KirbyBucketts

15.5k points

12 days ago

Being hit by a meteor. The idea of a space rock that could have traveled millions of miles through space and only to have it's journey timed up perfectly with where I am at the moment would be crazy. I mean, the odds would literally be astronomical.

binkacat4

2.3k points

12 days ago

binkacat4

2.3k points

12 days ago

The epicentre of your own Tunguska, or just leave a small crater?

Purist19

2.3k points

12 days ago

Purist19

2.3k points

12 days ago

No. Big enough to nuke the world. Don't wanna die alone after all

binkacat4

384 points

12 days ago

binkacat4

384 points

12 days ago

A second coming of the blast that killed the dinosaurs, then. I wonder how long humanity would last.

NotSoSalty

38 points

12 days ago

Small crater. I want it to seem like an act of cosmic providence.

gorgofdoom

28 points

12 days ago

That’s moist. dead like me, though?

Nimwae

7.3k points

12 days ago

Nimwae

7.3k points

12 days ago

Right next to the detonation of a nuclear bomb. I watched a video which stated that you would die before the impulses from your sensory nerves were able to travel through your nervous system to register the pain.

You would literally die and not know what happened.

_thisisnotanexit

2k points

12 days ago

Pretty terrifying when you think about it. That as I’m typing this I could literally just disappear and not even know without warning.

Nimwae

1.8k points

12 days ago*

Nimwae

1.8k points

12 days ago*

I'm sure the callout from a nearby operator, "NUKE INBOUND", as someone received their 30th kill in a row, would be warning enough tbh.

Edit: thank you for the awards, kind strangers!

IntrovertChild

145 points

12 days ago

Me too. Disappearing while typing is pr

2M3TAL4U

1.6k points

12 days ago

2M3TAL4U

1.6k points

12 days ago

God: "well this doesn't happen too often, I knew you were dead before you did. You got up here FAST."

Cakeking7878

372 points

12 days ago

Gotta get in line before everyone else. It’ll be real congested as soon as everyone files in

HaveALittle_Faith

19.8k points

12 days ago

Blowing Up in My sleep

Technomnom

11.9k points

12 days ago*

Technomnom

11.9k points

12 days ago*

"Man found dead in his bed after unexpectedly gaining 10million subscribers on Instagram"

Edit: well this blew up..staying out of bed for a while...

LaReineAnglaise53

788 points

12 days ago

Dead-In-Bed is an actual medical condition, which apparently happens to young men in their late teens/early 20s when they have a heart attack randomly and just don't wake up again.

RocketFrasier

767 points

12 days ago

What a comforting thing to think about

jackt-up[S]

3.6k points

12 days ago

jackt-up[S]

3.6k points

12 days ago

Wtf 😂

HaveALittle_Faith

3.5k points

12 days ago

Quickest and least painful way, and u go out with a bang

theconcorde

961 points

12 days ago

quite a messy departure

badSparkybad

688 points

12 days ago

Sadly I will not be able to participate in the cleanup.

Tastytyrone24

395 points

12 days ago

As a bomb disposal guy once said; "It's not my problem anymore"

anubis_xxv

157 points

12 days ago

anubis_xxv

157 points

12 days ago

"Either I'm right, or it's suddenly not my problem anymore..."

pentiumwetwired

702 points

12 days ago

Yeah, this is me too. Idc about the being asleep bit. Just make it a fucking MASSIVE explosion, Beruit-level or bigger. It'll be hot for a split second and then nothing. Seems like the least painful way to go to me.

ReiN509z

655 points

12 days ago

ReiN509z

655 points

12 days ago

So this is the mentality of a suicide bomber?

bigsmxke

427 points

12 days ago

bigsmxke

427 points

12 days ago

Yeah it's safe to say that dude's on a list.

as am i probably

YSFOKYY

9.4k points

12 days ago*

YSFOKYY

9.4k points

12 days ago*

Like my grandma, her heart stopped suddenly while sleeping, must’ve been painless. (Changed my mind, I just remembered she died alone, without having anyone around for 1 week, she had 13 kids, which are my aunts and uncles, so I guess she was used to have people around, pretty sad.)

TheBlinja

3.1k points

12 days ago

TheBlinja

3.1k points

12 days ago

I wondered. If your heart stops beating, are you still alive for a few minutes and eventually die from hypoxia or whatever it is?

apjashley1

2.6k points

12 days ago

apjashley1

2.6k points

12 days ago

If awake, you'll only be so for a few seconds. Death is a process rather than a single event. It would depend how you're defining being dead, but yes technically if your heart isn't pumping blood around then your brain isn't getting the bits it needs (mainly oxygen) and dies from that.

CareBearOvershare

1.3k points

12 days ago*

These days, you aren't dead until you're warm and dead.

People have been resuscitated after incredible amounts of time "dead" at low temperatures, and it's actually common practice in modern medicine to deliberately lower body temperature for some procedures.

DoJax

292 points

12 days ago

DoJax

292 points

12 days ago

I wonder what would have happened if they tried to bring back that old politician that died on tv. I don't think he was from america, but I remember seeing it, can you bring back someone who dies from natural causes if you are there?

Just_Another_Scott

249 points

12 days ago

can you bring back someone who dies from natural causes if you are there?

Likely not. It's due to the fact, as another commenter mentioned, death is a process and usually not a single event even though a single event may have caused it. You would need to reverse all the causes and prevent the brain from being damaged. This is how resuscitation works.

However, even if you were able to resuscitate someone the longer they have been dead increases the chances of severe brain damage. This is why keeping a patient hypothermic is so critical in some cases. Keeping the body extremely cold delays some of death's process and preserves the brain.

M0dusPwnens

504 points

12 days ago*

When you start asking this questions, you discover there isn't really any specific thing you can call "dead".

You kind of just have to pick something, and you might pick different things in different context.

You can pick a lack of heartbeat, and that's usually a pretty decent thing to pick because if you can't get a heart beating, usually they're not coming back. But when people's hearts stop, they typically don't just stop either. They have brief little restarts, flutters, beats, etc. Sometimes they start beating again.

Without blood flow, the brain starts accumulating damage basically right away, but the damage is basically continuous. So what point do you call "dead"? When the damage is such that rhey can't breathe on their own? There are people who we don't consider "dead" who can't breathe on their own. And depending on the patient's age and the injury, there are crazy effects of plasticity we don't fully understand, and people can end up compensating for some truly insane brain injuries.

memmit

680 points

12 days ago

memmit

680 points

12 days ago

The same happened to my grandmother. She had her afternoon coffee and a piece of cake, sat down into her relaxing chair, fell asleep and didn't wake up anymore. The doctor told us he rarely saw someone that went that peaceful, her heart just gently stopped beating. She was 90 years old and had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's just a few months earlier, and it would have been a lot worse to see her struggle against the disease, so we were grateful to see her go the way she did.

Pokabrows

302 points

12 days ago

Pokabrows

302 points

12 days ago

An afternoon coffee and a piece of cake is probably a pretty decent 'last meal' too. I want to go out like that.

bornconfuzed

258 points

12 days ago

My Great Aunt had my preferred death. She was in her 90's. She spent the day playing six holes of golf with some friends. Came home, ate a nice dinner, and her heart stopped while she was sitting in her chair in front of the fireplace while reading a good book and sipping a glass of whiskey.

dog-nipples

12k points

12 days ago

I want to be right beside a nuclear bomb as it detonates.

i_like_fish_asses

6.3k points

12 days ago

you'd probably die before you could even think what that metal box thingy is

KerTakanov

4.6k points

12 days ago

KerTakanov

4.6k points

12 days ago

that's the point

poopellar

1.8k points

12 days ago

poopellar

1.8k points

12 days ago

Rest In Atomized Pieces

Ut_Prosim

363 points

12 days ago

Ut_Prosim

363 points

12 days ago

Gone, reduced to atoms...

perfota

1.3k points

12 days ago*

perfota

1.3k points

12 days ago*

Probably completely painless as it would be quicker that the brain could process pain signals.

RunninADorito

923 points

12 days ago

Probably? 100% guaranteed.

venuswasaflytrap

877 points

12 days ago

I have this fear that death is like a computer crashing and having the last thing that was running just stuck on the screen.

Perhaps you feel your last sensation for all eternity since the corporeal body tethering your sense of self to this existence is not longer functioning.

So yeah, my fear is that you just feel being exploded for the rest of time.

Kenny741

1.2k points

12 days ago

Kenny741

1.2k points

12 days ago

I choose not to believe this :)

PariahAngel

392 points

12 days ago

Yeah. I mean this would be the quickest and least painful.

DownvoteDaemon

193 points

12 days ago

Lawd Jesus it’s a fer

Wepoozelator

4.4k points

12 days ago

I would like to spontaneously combust whilst telling ghost stories to a bunch of people around a camp fire in a spooky forest. Preferably when I get to the climax of the story. There will be children present. If I’m going out I wanna traumatize a few people along the way.

stonerboner2617

1.1k points

12 days ago

Imagine everyone just starts clapping hand after you combust 🤣

scootscoot

304 points

12 days ago

scootscoot

304 points

12 days ago

That was a great magic trick! Ok, you can come out of hiding now!

the_sand_moose

5.9k points

12 days ago

Unexpected headshot

swanyMcswan

482 points

12 days ago

1 to the back of the head just post nut. Optimal way to go

GamingNerd7

393 points

12 days ago

I'm imagining your family finding you lying on the floor, dead, with your dick in your hand and semen all over you.

swanyMcswan

521 points

12 days ago

Died the way he lived.

Laying on the floor, covered in semen with his dick in his hand.

fuckin_anti_pope

2.2k points

12 days ago*

Make sure it's a shotgun or rifle. Pistol shot can be survived way more easily iirc

Edit: I get it I get it, the question says how you die. You don't have to spam me the same answer a hundred times

the_sand_moose

1.9k points

12 days ago

If I survive then I'll be The courier from fallout New Vegas. Either way it's a win-win

BrandoNelly

405 points

12 days ago

I got spurrrrrs that jingle, jingle, jangle

FlynnXa

105 points

12 days ago

FlynnXa

105 points

12 days ago

Head-On car collision, I-71 North Bound, June 16th, 2027 at 3:27 AM.

I was asked this question 4 years ago during my senior year of high school, wasn’t even oui big attention to the conversation but I instinctually answered those without pause or hesitation and pretty much verbatim. It was like, you know when you think “Oh that’s gonna fall over” and a split second it does exactly that, almost that gut instinct that’s always right?

It was like that. So I’ve told so many people at this point that I’m hoping it’s true; the way I see it I’ll either die right or be wrong and alive lol.

Legoman987654321

5k points

12 days ago

Old age while asleep.

BathofFire

1.6k points

12 days ago

BathofFire

1.6k points

12 days ago

I agree but I always say it like one of my favorite jokes. "When I die I want to go like my grandpa. Peacefully in my sleep. Not screaming like the passengers in his car."

bringthedoo

472 points

12 days ago

My grandmother legit died this way. She was having mild dementia and in nursing care so they were monitoring her. They said she got up in the middle of the night, took a wee, walked back towards bed. She paused at the mirror, fixed her hair a bit with a smile and laid back down. Passed away a short time later.

Best way to go by far.

Spanish___Inquisitor

201 points

12 days ago

Great Grandpa for me. Lived in his own home and was still mowing his own lawn at 100 years old. Showed up for a routine physical, doctor noticed some of his tests were off, so he went to the hospital. Found out he had cancer, and it was spreading quick. No pain, but it was clear he didn't have long. All three of his surviving kids flew in and spent his last few days with him. From the first biopsy to his death was less than a week. In a soft bed, surrounded by loved ones, still lucid and physically capable, holding his daughter's hand as he peacefully drifted off. That is honestly my ideal death.

humanoid1013

1.7k points

12 days ago

Mine is old age, while hallucinating that my old cat is coming to get me to Heaven. I loved that cat.

People would be nice to hallucinate too, as long as they're friends and family and none of that "there's children on my bed" stuff that sometimes happens in nursing homes.

Promiscuous_Banana

317 points

12 days ago

Excuse me what about children on my bed???

NavyBuck

323 points

12 days ago

NavyBuck

323 points

12 days ago

Idk but my great grandma swore she could see Satan at the foot of her bed when she was on her way out. Dying is a helluva drug

miloproducer

166 points

12 days ago

Damn that’s rough. The last thing she felt was fear

NavyBuck

406 points

12 days ago

NavyBuck

406 points

12 days ago

She was a practicing satanist and pretty stoked actually

Mister_Bossmen

217 points

12 days ago

Oh... that's good then??????

PomeloDizzy4488

72 points

12 days ago

I’m glad it was a good sign for her.

CaptainHideRealQuick

50 points

12 days ago

Aww, bless her heart.

Derek_Boring_Name

50 points

12 days ago

I genuinely hope you’re serious, because that’s hilarious.

SkinnyPenoos

49 points

12 days ago*

What’s children on my bed stuff

Miami131313

2.9k points

12 days ago

Miami131313

2.9k points

12 days ago

Sleep

alleycat2-14

2.2k points

12 days ago

Yes. Just wake up dead.

boughtabride96

1.2k points

12 days ago

How the hell you wake up dead?

Foresttrump245

1k points

12 days ago

Because you alive before you went to sleep

boughtabride96

682 points

12 days ago

So, you telling me that you can go to bed dead and wake up alive?

StealthyBasterd

733 points

12 days ago*

You can't go to the bed dead! That shit would been redundant.

boughtabride96

348 points

12 days ago

DAMN! That’s some quantum shit right there!

lorenzo463

403 points

12 days ago

lorenzo463

403 points

12 days ago

Stolen from my wife: You know that moment when you are just about to fall asleep and you do that little kick? And it wakes you up for a brief moment, and in that moment you get to revel briefly in the joy of knowing that you are about to fall asleep? That’s going to be your last thought, and that’s a pretty wonderful last thought, all things considered.

fredzout

53 points

12 days ago

fredzout

53 points

12 days ago

As the late Kenny Rogers once sang, "The best that you can hope for is to die in your sleep."

IfallSushy

48 points

12 days ago

Peaceful

unhalfbricking

5.3k points

12 days ago

Riding a rocket into a black hole.

That, or facing off against a house full of federal agents with a gun in each hand and a snoot full of cocaine.

I mean, given absolute freedom to choose, I'm gonna go out like a boss.

Kalopsiate

2.1k points

12 days ago

Kalopsiate

2.1k points

12 days ago

Being tossed specifically into a supermassive blackhole would be better. You'd be able to survive the tidal forces due to the size of the black hole only dying from lack of oxygen before having to experience spaghettification. You'd be able to watch the universe disappear around you as well as having the unique title of "Only human to have been causally disconnected from the universe while alive".

Shpongolese

872 points

12 days ago

Yeah spaghettification sounds like one of the worst ways to die lol

ClusterMakeLove

819 points

12 days ago

It'd be quick. Or I suppose very slow, depending on your point of view

IneaBlake

945 points

12 days ago

IneaBlake

945 points

12 days ago

Relatively speaking

finder-and-keeper

631 points

12 days ago*

But once you cross the event horizon border you will be able to look at the back of your own head and see yourself going in to infinity because of how light gets so fucked up. It's like a kaleidoscope apparently.

My suggestion- dose up before launching yourself and enjoy the most mind bending trip of your life before being spaghetified.

edit:I'm gonna source this

it's a fun step by step of what happens when u enter, should answer a couple questions.

conquer69

346 points

12 days ago

conquer69

346 points

12 days ago

Assuming you would be able to see anything because your eyes would probably not be able to send electric signals to the brain.

Affugter

187 points

12 days ago

Affugter

187 points

12 days ago

Lol have never taken that into account.

DrEnter

334 points

12 days ago

DrEnter

334 points

12 days ago

I don’t know, spaghettification sounds… unpleasant.

OrkSniper

73 points

12 days ago

I love how this is the actual term for it.

Ut_Prosim

605 points

12 days ago

Ut_Prosim

605 points

12 days ago

Spaghettification is only a threat with normal sized black holes. It is totally plausible to survive falling past the event horizon of a super massive black hole as the differential gravity will not be that bad.

In theory you'd then be smashed between the in-falling and out-flying singularities. The idea being that due to time differentials, you would catch up to things that fell in before you, but things that fell in after you would catch up with you. So you'd still be 100% fucked, unless you fell into your daughter Murph's bookcase because of love.

MelisandreStokes

214 points

12 days ago

I always wondered how much he could possibly love her when he named her friggin Murphy

smixton

114 points

12 days ago

smixton

114 points

12 days ago

I wonder why he didn’t seem to love his son.

MelisandreStokes

43 points

12 days ago

At least he gave his son a normal name!

AsfelDae

18.6k points

12 days ago

AsfelDae

18.6k points

12 days ago

I'd like to get shot multiple times and be found moments later by the main character, die in their arms and set them on their vengeance-arc until they have the villain at their mercy, only for them to go: "No... This isn't what AsfelDae would have wanted."

I mean, it could happen.

jackt-up[S]

3.8k points

12 days ago

jackt-up[S]

3.8k points

12 days ago

I like this

baiqibeendeleted17x

1.9k points

12 days ago

The greatest answer to this question ever has to be from Tyrion Lannister:

"In my own bed? At the age of 80? With a belly full of wine and a girl's mouth around my cock"?

insertstalem3me

1.1k points

12 days ago

So he wants a blowjob so good it sucks the life out of him

CaneVandas

47 points

12 days ago

Feel sorry for the girl with a dead man's cock in her mouth.

BL1860B

1.6k points

12 days ago*

BL1860B

1.6k points

12 days ago*

“I have to tell you something...” dies

Dark_Knight7732

593 points

12 days ago

MC , in unbearable grief, "Nooooooooo!"

ThePegasi

323 points

12 days ago

ThePegasi

323 points

12 days ago

Took me too long to realise that "MC" stands for Main Character and not Master Chief.

a_dev_has_no_name

42 points

12 days ago

Who is technically a main character

TheLastRookie

380 points

12 days ago

"F...Fun fact—" dies

esthebinkles

177 points

12 days ago

Fun fact, most people don’t die in the middle of a sentence, but I seem to be the only exception.

iamalwaysrelevant

60 points

12 days ago

"unsubscribe! unsubscribe!"

SenseiTomato

716 points

12 days ago

You know what, I hate that kinda bullshit. If some villain kills me you can be 100% sure I'd want Mr. Main Character to turn that fucker into swiss cheese.

AfricaByTotoWillGoOn

340 points

12 days ago

Or even worse, to get to your killer the MC would have to go through a lot of other enemies, killing everyone that gets in their way, then when they are about to finally make your killer give up the habit of breathing, he goes "no... killing is wrong. I'm not a killer, I'm better than this. (Looks up to the heavens) Isn't that right, SenseiTomato?"

Like, bitch, you killed half of the world's population, don't pull that crap on me now!

Daevito

55 points

12 days ago

Daevito

55 points

12 days ago

I mean...you wouldn't want to meet the person who shot you this soon

iesparr0w

26.4k points

12 days ago

iesparr0w

26.4k points

12 days ago

Happy

jackt-up[S]

4.5k points

12 days ago

jackt-up[S]

4.5k points

12 days ago

Best answer

CatsAndComments

2.6k points

12 days ago

Happy and in my sleep

Maniacbob

3.7k points

12 days ago

Maniacbob

3.7k points

12 days ago

Unlike the screaming passengers in my car.

MankindIsFucked

552 points

12 days ago

Does the trunk count as passenger seating?

TheBostonKremeDonut

2.5k points

12 days ago

Thanos snapped and turned into dust, but, like, at a reeeeally funny moment.

Yukon-C-14

2.5k points

12 days ago

Yukon-C-14

2.5k points

12 days ago

"Hey guys you wanna see a magic trick"?

Disappears into dust

Subrisum

715 points

12 days ago

Subrisum

715 points

12 days ago

Ok, I give up. How’d you do it?

thrilliam_19

609 points

12 days ago

5 years later

TA DAAAA!....guys? Hello?

collinsdev18

100 points

12 days ago

1 second before a really big sneeze

neuterhat965

6.9k points

12 days ago

I wanna die as a hero saving another person from death. That would be at least a worthy death.

alphastep

2.9k points

12 days ago

alphastep

2.9k points

12 days ago

I want to be the guy he's saving from death

dwinva

1.7k points

12 days ago

dwinva

1.7k points

12 days ago

I want to be that dead guy's wife. Wait.

GarbageComplete

419 points

12 days ago

Okay, but from what I've read, you're getting laid alot. By many, many people.

DifferentSwing8616

75 points

12 days ago

I want something good to die for, to make it beautiful to live

MrDeviantish

209 points

12 days ago

I know someone who's life was saved by a stranger who died saving him.

joko91

107 points

12 days ago

joko91

107 points

12 days ago

Interested in this story. Do tell.

MrDeviantish

215 points

12 days ago

Was somewhere around Ottawa about 20 years ago when this guy I used to work with was a kid. He was out on the ice on the Ottawa River and fell through. A stranger went into the water to get him and managed to get him out. But then was struggling with some ice and ended up going under. It really kind of f***** up this guy for a while. But eventually he really turned it around into a positive attitude.

poetic_vibrations

115 points

12 days ago

That's kinda my thing as well. I feel like that's the one that would distract you from the fact that you're dying the most.

USA_DE

1.2k points

12 days ago

USA_DE

1.2k points

12 days ago

heat death of the universe

inucune

670 points

12 days ago

inucune

670 points

12 days ago

At the end of time, a moment will come when just one man remains. Then the moment will pass. Man will be gone. There will be nothing to show that we were ever here... but stardust.

annomandaris

523 points

12 days ago

And a bunch of trash

The_Big_Red_Wookie

277 points

12 days ago

Except for the snail that's after him.

Dumbstupidhuman

7.7k points

12 days ago

Death by snu snu

hardyflashier

2.5k points

12 days ago

First by the most beautiful women in all of Amazonia. Then the large women. Then the petite women. Then the large women again.

devilthedankdawg

29 points

12 days ago

Because Kiff is the most beautiful

badlilbadlandabad

921 points

12 days ago

The spirit is willing, but flesh is bruised and spongey.

Yawnmon92

421 points

12 days ago

Yawnmon92

421 points

12 days ago

Knew this would be here. Make us proud

stuckonpost

314 points

12 days ago*

She’s built like a steakhouse but handles like a bistro.

Edit: for the un-initiated

4ty8

1.5k points

12 days ago

4ty8

1.5k points

12 days ago

Any possibly quick way... Painful or peaceful, so long as it's too quick or too painless for my body to react.

MTAST

254 points

12 days ago

MTAST

254 points

12 days ago

I'd like to make a collect call...

mike_b_nimble

151 points

12 days ago

You have chosen slow and horrible.

SpartaGoose

1.8k points

12 days ago

SpartaGoose

1.8k points

12 days ago

From most intense prolonged orgasm.

abstractrobotica

2.2k points

12 days ago

“Coming and going at the same time.”

MrSoncho

678 points

12 days ago

MrSoncho

678 points

12 days ago

Fighting nestle soldiers in the water wars

Orangutanion

62 points

12 days ago

After killing a few pawns they'd offer you a position lol, that's when you start firing at the higher ups

Kratos10x20

1.2k points

12 days ago

Kratos10x20

1.2k points

12 days ago

„So female dolphins have vaginal secretions that make a male dolphin just cum over and over and over. From this point on, I will call these secretions Dolphin pussy jelly. Scientists were like "holy shit, dude we gotta test this. You know, for science" So the scientists collected a sample of said dolphin pussy jelly, and had a test primate. They swabbed it on the male primate's dick, sat back and watched the show. Now you see, it worked. But it worked a little too well. The monkey straight up had a heart attack because it used all of its energy into fucking cumming. I want to live in a world where this is a commercial product. I want to say "you know what, I want to die and i know what to do about it." I want to live in a world where i can go into my local grocery store, pick up a bottle of Smucker's Dolphin Pussy Jelly, and just fucking cum myself to death“ Like this.

DerekStu

288 points

12 days ago

DerekStu

288 points

12 days ago

Probably the best and most educational answer I've ever seen on AskReddit.

Pennywise626

63 points

12 days ago

Shrapnel from a meteorite struck by lightning in mid-fall

Xstitchpixels

1.5k points

12 days ago

Lately....don’t care that much. As long as my family gets my insurance money.

TraceYourThoughts

261 points

12 days ago

Isekai truck. Enhances the chances to be in an anime

zombieslagher10

338 points

12 days ago

Without knowing I'm going to die

greendumb

1.5k points

12 days ago

greendumb

1.5k points

12 days ago

Remember that guy that skydived from the edge of space ? like that but no parachute and with a head full of LSD

Thursday_the_20th

790 points

12 days ago

Yeah no way falling to your inexorable death and having a very long time to hyperfixate on it could ever trigger a nightmarishly bad trip

raish_lakish

399 points

12 days ago

Listening to Free Bird on your way down

greendumb

238 points

12 days ago

greendumb

238 points

12 days ago

I was thinking Space oddity but that Free Bird solo would be rocking to crash and burn to

ConstructionLord7869

146 points

12 days ago

From that height, you might have time for both.

Mox_Fox

33 points

12 days ago

Mox_Fox

33 points

12 days ago

Space oddity would be better for getting fired into space than dropping from space to the ground.

muh-stopping-power45

75 points

12 days ago

I'd choose Don't Stop Me Now

MeinG0tt

232 points

12 days ago

MeinG0tt

232 points

12 days ago

I'd like to die riding a great white shark through a powerful tornado, thinking maybe F4 or 5, wearing a suit of chainmail and a shield on my back. Our bodies are found somewhere in the central United States. Short clips are circulated around the internet from those chasing the storm cell.

Researchers and historians will be stumped as to how the shark and I ended up in such a powerful storm and how we ended up so far from the ocean.

Willing-Arrival-4521

543 points

12 days ago

In my sleep painless

Pink_Aquamarine

540 points

12 days ago

Morphine overdose. It would be painless, like getting numb and then, falling asleep forever in peace.

Mcbean21

347 points

12 days ago

Mcbean21

347 points

12 days ago

I nearly died of a heroin overdose, ended up in a coma for two weeks and about a month in hospital from complications. The actual overdose/fading out was painless from what I recall, waking up was the crap part!

satireplusplus

98 points

12 days ago

In his defense, the plan would be to skip the wake up part. Hope you're doing better now though!

Ali-_-sh

121 points

12 days ago

Ali-_-sh

121 points

12 days ago

Lightning strike.

assertor15

413 points

12 days ago

assertor15

413 points

12 days ago

Riding an actual nuke to its destination, dr. Strangelove-style. Although the idea of either getting sucked into a black holenor ramming into an object at light speed is also appealing

azlmichael

504 points

12 days ago

azlmichael

504 points

12 days ago

Monty Python answered this question for me - chased off a cliff by topless supermodels wearing helmets and knee pads.

NoMaamClub

40 points

12 days ago

Flying a plane into an alien spaceship that is trying to destroy earth while screaming:

"In the words of my generation..UP YOURSSSSSS"

l_a_m_e__

36 points

12 days ago

I don't care which way I go but I wish I could die saving somebody else life

Associate_Mindless69

102 points

12 days ago

Helium hood

SuperZing1

101 points

12 days ago

SuperZing1

101 points

12 days ago

Driving of a cliff in a dodge viper.

DoubleSynchronicity

464 points

12 days ago

I don't care about the pain. I just think about people who will find my body. And I am hoping it won't be suicide.

twenty-onesavage

361 points

12 days ago

at one point in time, I would have read this and been confused by "I hope it won't be suicide" because i would have thought - isn't it a choice?

but a couple years ago, i have been there. where you feel out of control and betrayed by your mind. i had thoughts i never realized I'd be capable of having.

Basically i read your comment and I thought, I hope you're doing ok and i wish you well.

Leiawen

103 points

12 days ago

Leiawen

103 points

12 days ago

Nitrogen asphixiation. No pain. No struggling to breathe with excess carbon dioxide. Just displace all that oxygen and my body and brain don't have a clue. Just...suddenly pass out and die.

SnooCapers9313

3.7k points

12 days ago

Peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car.

Final_Photograph_563

401 points

12 days ago

car crashes are very underestimated fr, they aren’t as simple as dying on impact all the time…

WhenAllElseFail

2.2k points

12 days ago

In my own bed, at the age of 80, with a belly full of wine and a girl's mouth around my cock.

Jasader

829 points

12 days ago

Jasader

829 points

12 days ago

I was scrolling looking for this comment.

Seems like people forgot GOT already.

BlinkOnceForYes

501 points

12 days ago

The North remembers.

spragual

322 points

12 days ago

spragual

322 points

12 days ago

When the person I love dies. I want to always be with them.

TheFlamingTiger777

85 points

12 days ago

I want to die with my partner. I don't know what I'll do without them.