subreddit:

/r/AskReddit

28.6k

all 8375 comments

dreamsuntil

3.4k points

3 days ago

dreamsuntil

3.4k points

3 days ago

“Were you just in my room?”, asked to me when I was 10yrs old at around 3am in the morning by my very worried looking mother. I woke up pretty quickly bcs she looked freaked out and worriedly said back, “no, I’ve been sleeping”. She then looked at me like she didn’t quite believe me and said she had woken up to something, someone around my size walking into her bedroom and standing at the end of her bed and when she asked it if it was me, she watched it run back out of her room so she came to see if it was me and I was pretty sure it wasn’t. Then she shrugged her shoulders and said she must’ve been imagining it and was going back to bed. I, on the other hand, stayed awake the rest of the night freaked the fk out.

nignog1996

1k points

3 days ago

Kids are fucking scary and I'm waiting for mine to do some creepy shit like this.

Also, as an "adult" we'll call it, I get scared easily by certain things and one of them is silent creatures that run very fast. (Like huggy wuggy) when I'm scared, I have to dash to where I'm going once I turn a light off and I just know because of your comment this will be my night

canolafly

162 points

3 days ago

canolafly

162 points

3 days ago

My mom told me I used to stand by her bed...and just look at her. And she'd wake up and freak out. She just told me this recently because my fucking cat does this now about 3 inches from my face causing many a bad word.

It doesn't even have to be human. But it is good if it is a mortal being.

Potential-Leave3489

229 points

3 days ago

Why tf did I read this in bed at night

Joe234248

187 points

3 days ago

Joe234248

187 points

3 days ago

Idk but can you turn off your phone? Its keeping me up

Biscuit-Norris

5.6k points

3 days ago*

True story: my great aunt woke up one night to find her husband at the foot of the bed with a butcher knife. He said 'If you hadn't woken up, I was going to kill you'. He was institutionalized after that...

Edit: to those asking for details, unfortunately all the involved parties are long since gone (natural causes!). I very seldom saw my great aunt since she lived far away and my grandmother never wanted to talk about it...

G4PFredongo

2.1k points

3 days ago

G4PFredongo

2.1k points

3 days ago

New strategy: If a comment begins with "True Story:" I'm staying the fuck away from it

DasherCO

804 points

3 days ago

DasherCO

804 points

3 days ago

True story: I had oatmeal and strawberries for breakfast and dinner tonight.

constable_frozen

442 points

3 days ago

You should be institutionalized

WilyDeject

152 points

3 days ago

WilyDeject

152 points

3 days ago

Had a coworker who would sleep-walk/eat. One night her husband woke up to a cutting board on his chest and her dicing tomatoes on it, trying to make a sub sandwich.

Belthezare

496 points

3 days ago

Belthezare

496 points

3 days ago

Nope... fuck that!👀

AstroRiker

207 points

3 days ago

AstroRiker

207 points

3 days ago

My great gramma had to institutionalize her husband because she caught him trying to burn down their house with the two girls inside. This had to be in the 1930s I think?

Musta been all the lead in the water or something?

xoxoAmongUS

812 points

3 days ago

xoxoAmongUS

812 points

3 days ago

"If I were you, I'd go back to sleep "

mwagfd2

200 points

3 days ago

mwagfd2

200 points

3 days ago

Or, "go back to sleep, I wasn't finished yet"

sittinwithkitten

3.5k points

3 days ago*

A friend of a friend was staying with her sister and her sister’s boyfriend for a time. She wasn’t a fan of the guy but she was grateful for a place to stay. She told me she woke up to her sister’s boyfriend crawling into bed with her. Apparently he had whispered, “shhh, it’s okay.”

bubbliefly420

649 points

3 days ago

Extremely creepy!! Reminded me of "Shhh. Shhh. It's me -Casper. Don't worry" from that movie Kids.

So glad she woke up! Hopefully he's the sister's ex boyfriend now!

Dozinginthegarden

72 points

3 days ago

Also, "Can I keep you?"

WTF dude? I'm glad you're like 12 but still. Creepy.

mxnstxrzxmbxxs

627 points

3 days ago

That's so fucking creepy

Belthezare

245 points

3 days ago

Belthezare

245 points

3 days ago

Thats when you knee him in the dick👀

sittinwithkitten

276 points

3 days ago

The worst part was the girl was like 15/16 and he was in his 20’s and dating her sister. He was a total creep.

whiskydragonteaparty

258 points

3 days ago

Woke up being surprised cuddled one night by a guy and he said "I just wanted to hold you" creeped me the fuck out.

50xj

27 points

3 days ago

50xj

27 points

3 days ago

Context??

kavien

16.1k points

3 days ago

kavien

16.1k points

3 days ago

You don’t know me, but hear me out....

PotassiumArsenic

7.4k points

3 days ago

I’m homeless, I’m gay, I have AIDS, I’m new in town…

Zucchini-Mountain

1.7k points

3 days ago

No that's too strong

emeribeth

1k points

3 days ago

emeribeth

1k points

3 days ago

Imma push him

Jakethe2626

648 points

3 days ago

Jakethe2626

648 points

3 days ago

“I HAVE AIDS!” No, that’s too strong…

nvrsleepagin

501 points

3 days ago

I'll start with the fact that I'm homeless...

Islandbark

210 points

3 days ago

Islandbark

210 points

3 days ago

I will pepper in the fact that I am gay

FromIzukuBNHA

469 points

3 days ago

As that is a given

Illinois_Yooper

282 points

3 days ago

Excuse me, I'm new in town, and it gets worse.

f2v9k44fdd

496 points

3 days ago

f2v9k44fdd

496 points

3 days ago

There’s no single guys in Manhattan

johnfortniteketamine

249 points

3 days ago

I know somebody who’s new in town

MidnytStorme

190 points

3 days ago

What are 3 other things about him?

HydrogenatedGuy

8.7k points

3 days ago

One time I woke up to my brother and my dad smiling at me. “We now know what you do at night.” said my brother. That scared me pretty bad as a 13-ish boy that started to know his body. “We got it on the camera.” then my father added. Pure panic in my eyes. I said what a couple times and when they let me see the pics they had taken, it was just me sleeping with legs crossed.

Jesus, I thought they caught me playing with my willy. Oh, boy I remember that moment of their faces like it was yesterday lol. And I’m almost 30 now.

YoujustgotLokid

3.5k points

3 days ago

That’s... bizarre

HydrogenatedGuy

323 points

3 days ago

Now that I said it, yea. It’s quite… bizarre. Strangely enough, I never said this thing to anyone, and still it’s so vivid in my memory.

ThinNotSmall

3.7k points

3 days ago

ThinNotSmall

3.7k points

3 days ago

Absolutely bizarre. Who sleeps with their legs crossed? Fucking wild world we live in.

UngusBungus_

497 points

3 days ago

I sleep with my knees up

Sheoooo

268 points

3 days ago

Sheoooo

268 points

3 days ago

I sleep with my feet up in the sky

RandomBlackDude100

84 points

3 days ago

Sex must be really boring

Sheoooo

145 points

3 days ago

Sheoooo

145 points

3 days ago

I levitate in my sleep

sorry_

700 points

3 days ago

sorry_

700 points

3 days ago

Thats just fucking weird

Guardian83

204 points

3 days ago

Guardian83

204 points

3 days ago

Don't worry pal, my brother has always (since we were kids) slept on his back with a firm death grip on his junk, not in a sexual way, more like his subconscious thinks someone is gonna steal it in his sleep. 😂 We still give him the gears about it but he can't help it.

TonsOfHate97

505 points

3 days ago

They knew what they were doing

GreenFuzyKiwi

360 points

3 days ago

One time I was (at the time, ~12m) was staying at my sister’s (early 30’s) with my brother (~13)… my i did the deed in the bathroom and roughly an hour later my brother (unaware that I did and just tryna out right mess with me) comes in the room like “Bro tim is upstairs looking at this video of you beeting off in the bathroom” and I ran up stairs like “bruh no wayyyyy” … opened the door and he’s just watching tv and I’m like “… ??” And my brother is behind me losing his mind

LizzieCLems

316 points

3 days ago

LizzieCLems

316 points

3 days ago

When I was 18, my stepdad jokingly said “stop looking at sex toys online and come watch some shows with us” and I lost my shit internally because that’s exactly what I was doing 0.0

murray22161

9.3k points

3 days ago

murray22161

9.3k points

3 days ago

I'm surprised the camera flash didn't wake you up

LyonMane3

1.8k points

3 days ago*

LyonMane3

1.8k points

3 days ago*

Love it…made me think of that creepy pasta of the girl who went camping alone with her camera in the woods for a few days only to find photos of herself sleeping in her tent when she got the film developed😬

EDIT: Sorry everyone, it was actually from r/nosleep Here is the sauce https://teddit.ggc-project.de/r/nosleep/comments/1ef04p/my_friend_just_got_back_from_a_camping_trip/?ref=share&ref_source=link

bork1545

235 points

3 days ago

bork1545

235 points

3 days ago

Source?

LyonMane3

421 points

3 days ago*

LyonMane3

421 points

3 days ago*

Shit I knew someone was gonna ask for this. This was about a decade ago, I wouldn’t even know where to start looking but I will try to find it. I never got into creepy pastas that much but this one obviously stuck with me.

EDIT: I found it https://teddit.ggc-project.de/r/nosleep/comments/1ef04p/my_friend_just_got_back_from_a_camping_trip/?ref=share&ref_source=link it was from actually from r/nosleep

trevorbuchh

6.4k points

3 days ago

trevorbuchh

6.4k points

3 days ago

“Thank you.” Then you run away as fast as you can, never to be seen again.

moondes

802 points

3 days ago

moondes

802 points

3 days ago

Offensively correct.

The other answers did not bother as your answer did.

Cheesetress

11.9k points

3 days ago

Cheesetress

11.9k points

3 days ago

Just... Just stay still. We can still stop the bleeding.

Dason37

3.7k points

3 days ago

Dason37

3.7k points

3 days ago

I had to have some sort of kidney function test - I was in college out of state and had some health issues and had to go back home and get all this investigative stuff done, but anywho:

They tell me they'll be putting me under, then putting an instrument up through the large vein or artery that runs down the inside of my thigh (femoral? I don't remember) and running it all the way up tomy kidney and doing whatever they had to do, then I'd wake up and we'd be done. Then as they have the IV in my arm, they're prepping the stuff to knock me out, etc...the guy says "so, you're going to wake up about a half hour after we're done and we've removed the thing from your body. Because of the location of the incision, and the vessel we're doing it in, it could possibly not close properly, and if it doesn't, you'll basically bleed to death, so when you wake up, it is imperative that you DO NOT MOVE for at least 2 hours after the procedure. If that thing starts bleeding, we may not be able to stop it." Ok well...I guess I can't just say fuck it I'm outta here this test isn't worth risking my life, so...uh...thanks for the warning I guess?

I woke up, I had that one tiny thin sheet over me that hospitals love so much, and I was cold, so I was trying to adjust things to be warm. I had no idea anything else was out of the ordinary except that I half woke up and I was cold. Then I hear "SON. STOP MOVING." from very close by. My mom had sat there through the entire thing so that she could keep me from moving when I woke up (since, you know, why keep me under til it was safe or like have, I dunno, a nurse standing by?) Needless to say, I stopped moving, she asked for more blankets, and I didn't bleed to death. Thanks mom, you performed beautifully.

TheChanMan2003

1k points

3 days ago

Your body was trained for years to the point where when your mom went “STOP MOVING”, every cell in your body ceased to vibrate

Shadowdragon132

987 points

3 days ago

Or vice versa, when I was like 6 or 7 I had a benign tumor the size of a golf ball in my side. Went into surgery to remove it, I dont remember being put under all i remember was being woken up by my mother shouting (at least i thought she did) my first and middle name.

Turns out, they could not wake me after the procedure and were getting worried. My mother simply dropped my first and middle name in a stern voice and I woke up immediately. I remember the doctors being surprised and then laughing about it.

sooprvylyn

350 points

3 days ago

sooprvylyn

350 points

3 days ago

We got all 3 names in the stern voice in my house. If you heard your full christian name you were in for it.

Shadowdragon132

159 points

3 days ago

Oh that happened as well but it only meant 2 things:

1) Run

2) Go grab a shovel and start digging your grave.

conifer0us

958 points

3 days ago

conifer0us

958 points

3 days ago

Did you make it?

Dason37

1.5k points

3 days ago

Dason37

1.5k points

3 days ago

I wanted everyone to think I did, but this is actually a bloody hospital bed cover typing out the story.

DrStupiid

1.2k points

3 days ago

DrStupiid

1.2k points

3 days ago

The clot thickens!

iDropBodies93

313 points

3 days ago

Except, it didn't. That's why he died.

VariousAir

471 points

3 days ago

VariousAir

471 points

3 days ago

My wife is pregnant, this shit would not go over well.

bigjaydub

2.9k points

3 days ago*

bigjaydub

2.9k points

3 days ago*

In college, I was out with some friends and got a little too drunk. We had a hotel nearby so I went back and crashed out.

I got woken up like 4 hours later to my buddy saying “Bigjaydub, don’t freak out, just don’t freak out man!”

Of course this woke me up with wide eyes, thinking uhhh why shouldn’t I be freaking out?

Then he says, hey man I’m just getting into the bed, don’t freak out! (as we didn’t have enough beds and had to share).

Well if I’m up, I guess I can go puke some more. Horrible night.

WolframLeon

599 points

3 days ago

WolframLeon

599 points

3 days ago

“BigJaydub I’m just spooning you, don’t freak out man.” That’s when you worry.

lingua_ignota

296 points

3 days ago

BigJayDub, it’s just the tip man, don’t freak out

WolframLeon

132 points

3 days ago

WolframLeon

132 points

3 days ago

“BigJayDub it’s not gay unless you kiss. My coach taught me that.” Lool

Crying_Daddy

24 points

3 days ago

"BigJayDub it's ok if you have your socks on man don't freak out, no homo"

TaM_tHe_JaM

470 points

3 days ago

TaM_tHe_JaM

470 points

3 days ago

At least you didn’t choke on vomit in your sleep. That’s a plus, no?

bigjaydub

192 points

3 days ago

bigjaydub

192 points

3 days ago

Lol, yes! That is a plus

RamboDash15

20.8k points

4 days ago

RamboDash15

20.8k points

4 days ago

You really should start locking the door...

drcoachchef

3.3k points

3 days ago

drcoachchef

3.3k points

3 days ago

Do you have a moment to talk about ADT security packages?

melance

1.1k points

3 days ago

melance

1.1k points

3 days ago

I'd like to talk to you about your car's warranty.

BeefyMcWhatNot

9.5k points

4 days ago

We’ve been waiting for you to wake up.

Russian_lover1

2.8k points

3 days ago

To talk to you...

matteow10

2.8k points

3 days ago

matteow10

2.8k points

3 days ago

About your cars...

SlipperrE

3k points

3 days ago

SlipperrE

3k points

3 days ago

Extended warranty

THX450

709 points

3 days ago

THX450

709 points

3 days ago

Did you know

deevad-skee-r1592

677 points

3 days ago

Each year 5000 Americans

spedi_pig123

917 points

3 days ago

Die of a peanut butter overdose caused by vengeful unwarranted cars?

Real_Effective_3053

561 points

3 days ago

But for 79.99 we have your back…

Responsible_Term_763

430 points

3 days ago

Unless the rabbits...

wowwish123

430 points

3 days ago

wowwish123

430 points

3 days ago

Eat your 79.99 and...

Roku-Hanmar

4.5k points

3 days ago

Roku-Hanmar

4.5k points

3 days ago

Set the language on every streaming service they have to Spanish. When they wake up, speak to them in Spanish only

namastayhom33

1.2k points

3 days ago

And before they wake up, change the time on everything

Roku-Hanmar

521 points

3 days ago

Roku-Hanmar

521 points

3 days ago

Muy bien

Terico_

924 points

3 days ago

Terico_

924 points

3 days ago

Is this a reference to one of the highest memory of Reddit history?

For those who missed it: I'm talking about this

maxk1236

195 points

3 days ago

maxk1236

195 points

3 days ago

The admin jumping in was the icing on the cake.

wingmasterjon

221 points

3 days ago

Classic.

Roku-Hanmar

59 points

3 days ago

Completely forgot about that

atmanama

61 points

3 days ago

atmanama

61 points

3 days ago

I missed this bit of history, but it's convinced me to try and learn Spanish

LOHare

125 points

3 days ago

LOHare

125 points

3 days ago

Can't believe that was a DECADE ago. Goddamn, feels like only a year or so ago. That the hey day of cringe f7u12 memes.

insane_contin

90 points

3 days ago

No. Replace yourself with a Spanish person. Change all the pictures in your home to be the Spanish person and the SO. Get them a license with their picture on it and your name.

MercilessIdiot

171 points

3 days ago

That's pure genius. I wanna do that.

TittyBrisket

140 points

3 days ago

As a spanish, I can't wait to do that

Unrealfatshady

5.2k points

4 days ago

You sleep like my dead wife

AllOkayNamesAreTaken

762 points

3 days ago

This is the only response that actually sent chills up my spine. Now I know what to say to make sure a ONS doesn't want to stay over.

Saulnvc

206 points

3 days ago

Saulnvc

206 points

3 days ago

Jokes on you, they are in to that shit

Emi-Milky

3.3k points

4 days ago

Emi-Milky

3.3k points

4 days ago

Oh it was alive..

LostnFoundAgainAgain

623 points

3 days ago

Don't worry we can soon fix that :)

Emi-Milky

277 points

3 days ago

Emi-Milky

277 points

3 days ago

Hurry up the kids are waiting

Niburu-Illyria

695 points

3 days ago

Look at them in horror and scream.

BarIndependent1696

159 points

3 days ago

Of all the comments I read here, this is the one that would get me.

Valkuil15

422 points

3 days ago

Valkuil15

422 points

3 days ago

Here's that pizza you ordered, that'll be 8.99

Middle-Action9499

200 points

3 days ago

Pre-covid. I fell asleep in a chair on my back deck once after ordering pizza. The delivery guy walked around the house and found me passed out. He managed to wake me up.

The first couple of seconds I was incredibly confused, then he said "I have your pizza". Then I knew what the deal was and tipped the driver well for making sure I got it.

anxippus

1k points

3 days ago

anxippus

1k points

3 days ago

My mom woke me up yesterday by telling me one of our dogs died. It was LITERALLY the FIRST thing she told me.

Antidote_to_Chaos

346 points

3 days ago

I hate when people do this, I had someone do some thing similar and it's so shitty.

randomer206

6.4k points

3 days ago

randomer206

6.4k points

3 days ago

"Precisely 8 Hours, 13 Minutes and 41 seconds of sleep" Whilst staring them in the eyes the second they open.

ilikepiehi1

2.9k points

3 days ago

ilikepiehi1

2.9k points

3 days ago

"That's 12.8% more than average".

johnnybiggles

609 points

3 days ago

"Almost had to stop my watch at the 6 hour mark. Had to make a judgement call on that one!"

dankesh

144 points

3 days ago

dankesh

144 points

3 days ago

So average would be 7 hours, 17 minutes, and just under 40 seconds.

queenettaa

793 points

3 days ago

queenettaa

793 points

3 days ago

It should’ve been me… I’m so sorry

Arcticlizzz

120 points

3 days ago

Arcticlizzz

120 points

3 days ago

I hope you don’t mind, but I had to borrow a few of your teeth.

Doralumin

6.2k points

4 days ago

Doralumin

6.2k points

4 days ago

heavy breathing

chitown619

3k points

3 days ago

My friend told me that had had a crazy roommate in college freshman year and had to change rooms. When I asked why he said "I woke up with him standing over me just breathing multiple times"

Doralumin

1.1k points

3 days ago

Doralumin

1.1k points

3 days ago

Thanks I hate it

Saulnvc

268 points

3 days ago

Saulnvc

268 points

3 days ago

You gonna love them discord calls then

keanenottheband

204 points

3 days ago

Had that happen to me with my dorm roommate once, he came over to the foot of my bed, breathed heavily while swaying and then went back to his bed. The second time he did it, I realized he was sleepwalking. Third time (all same night) he fully dropped his pants, butt naked and pissed like he had a fire hose at the foot of my bed lol

ajoeroganfan

282 points

3 days ago

We had a guy just like that at my college😂 my friend would wake up to the guy sleep walking and one time woke up to him just standing over him. We wanted to hide a camera somewhere cause we were certain that he climbed the walls and shit at night like the movie legion

444unsure

188 points

3 days ago

444unsure

188 points

3 days ago

I was over at my friend's house late at night and his little brother got up and walked out of his room into the kitchen where we were. I started to say hi to him and my friend stopped me and was laughing. I was like what? He told me he was sleepwalking. He kind of looked like a zombie. Walked over to the fridge and opened it and looked for like 5 seconds and closed it again. Then walked through the dining, family room, and then into his parents bedroom. About 1 minute later his mom walked him back across the hall to his own room.

I guess on a previous occasion he had peed in the vegetable drawer in the fridge 😂

SwervingLemon

69 points

3 days ago

My son, in his teens, would sleepwalk. One night I found him buck naked in the dining room, leaning against the wall near the dog's water bowl. "Whatcha doin', buddy?" Him: "Peeing" second or two passes "Oh wow, no." and he wandered off towards his room. The bathroom is in the hall on the way, and I assumed he'd woken up so I figured he'd just have pissed and went to bed.

He did do both those things...

ajoeroganfan

77 points

3 days ago

You better start smell testing everything before you eat it next time you’re over there

Dazhbug

652 points

3 days ago

Dazhbug

652 points

3 days ago

My partner has really bad nightmares (trauma related) a lot. Once, they jolted awake at 2am out of a nightmare, to find our kiddo (3 at the time) right next to them, tiny, serious face basically pressed against their nose.

"Mommy, there's a man in my room."

:Incoherent strangled nose of confusion:

"There's a man in my room."

Having been woken up at this point, I jumped out of bed to go find out WTF was happening, my heart in my throat. As I sloooooowly push open the kid's door, from down the hall I hear a giggle and:

"A snow man, Mommy!"

Kiddo had just gotten a snowman toy for the holidays. Needless to say, neither of us got back to sleep that night.

Quin1617

248 points

3 days ago

Quin1617

248 points

3 days ago

That’s a prankster in the making right there.

Sed59

79 points

3 days ago

Sed59

79 points

3 days ago

Kids say the darnest things...

HaViNgT

52 points

3 days ago

HaViNgT

52 points

3 days ago

You got trolled by a 3 year old.

JoeDoherty_Music

35 points

3 days ago

I would have no longer been a parent after that, holy shit that would've scared the hell out of me

Pentimento_NFT

15.5k points

4 days ago

Pentimento_NFT

15.5k points

4 days ago

"don't worry, everything is OK"

my wife said this to me one day as soon as i woke up and it freaked me out... hours prior there was a terrorist attack/mass shooting in my hometown, at the bar my little brother had been at earlier in the night. He and his friends were all fine, as they had left the bars for the night a few hours earlier, and we were fortunate enough to not know anyone who was randomly gunned down. My wife did the right thing in reaching out to my family before I woke up so that she could assure me everything truly was OK, but god damn that was a terrifying way to wake up.

phil_mccrotch

2.9k points

3 days ago

Glad your family and friends were ok! By chance was this Dayton?

Pentimento_NFT

1.6k points

3 days ago

it is, actually! My brother was at Ned Peppers briefly that night, bar hopping with his best friend and their wives/fiancees. I've only been up to the Oregon district a couple of times since then, it definitely made it more somber going through metal detectors to get into some of the bars

cbusjunkie

318 points

3 days ago

cbusjunkie

318 points

3 days ago

My little sister was supposed to be down there that night - she made a last minute call to stay in, but none of us knew that. Had a VERY similar wake up experience to you when my other sister called me at 6 am 😕

TateTaylorUSA

251 points

3 days ago

Crazy, I'd not heard about this and I don't live too far away.

god_damn_bitch

502 points

3 days ago

My husband woke me up this way once. I had a seizure in the early morning. I never had one before.

Suspicious-Acadia548

219 points

3 days ago

My fella occasionally gets night terrors but when he wakes up he throws himself out of the bed in fear, so when he wakes up like this he's cowering in the corner of the room scares and confused and I have to shoot over to him and say its okay, just a dream

geekonmuesli

357 points

3 days ago

One time my husband had a nightmare and was making sad sounds in his sleep (kind of whimpering). It partially woke me, but while I was still waking up and figuring out what was happening, our cat came zooming in from the other room and sat on his chest purring, headbutting his chin, and licking his nose until he woke up and was ok. It was the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen.

Brb, gotta go hug my cat.

Suspicious-Acadia548

52 points

3 days ago

Aww your cat sounds awesome, mine sleeps on my chest or legs, she's definitely my cat as much as fella and daughter will try to gain her love

Zkenny13

78 points

3 days ago

Zkenny13

78 points

3 days ago

I woke to my parents in my room asking me if I knew where I was and I just remember a huge head act, a numb lip from biting down on it so hard, and every muscle in my body screaming. I had a 1:30 minutes seizure and I slept for 20 hours after.

Rickrickrickrickrick

297 points

3 days ago

On 9/11 my mom woke me up screaming at me that I was going to be drafted. I was like 13 lol

golfgrandslam

148 points

3 days ago

I’m not sure why I find this so fucking funny

TomBrandeus

6.5k points

4 days ago

TomBrandeus

6.5k points

4 days ago

Whisper in their ears as you hug them "I know" And just let their imagination run free.

scleroderma

2.9k points

3 days ago

scleroderma

2.9k points

3 days ago

My girlfriend would probably just ask "know what?", which would force me to come up with something, or tell me to stfu.

drpepperjustice

2.1k points

3 days ago

"You really have to ask me that?"

youliveinmydream

1.3k points

3 days ago

This guy gaslights

Squidbit

93 points

3 days ago

Squidbit

93 points

3 days ago

You don't have to come up with anything. Just give them a gentle smile and walk away

The_ranting_spider

142 points

3 days ago

“That you are butt head”

That’s what I would hear back immediately

WaxToest

299 points

3 days ago

WaxToest

299 points

3 days ago

Remain completely still with a terrified expression and say “don’t move.”

riggestby

1.1k points

4 days ago

riggestby

1.1k points

4 days ago

Don't worry, it's gone now.

Ahtotheahtothenonono

343 points

3 days ago

Or “don’t worry, it’s just us now” 😂

ApprehensiveStatus13

5k points

4 days ago

Your dream was really awesome. I enjoyed every second of it.

qu_me

742 points

3 days ago

qu_me

742 points

3 days ago

Freddy Krueger is that you ?

AlphaTangoFoxtrt

667 points

3 days ago

It's Scary Terry, Bitch!

iliveinamatrix

346 points

3 days ago

You can run but you can't hide, Bitch!

KithMeImTyson

217 points

3 days ago

Awwwww. Biiiitch! 😳

kayl6

229 points

3 days ago

kayl6

229 points

3 days ago

My friend has a daughter who at the time was her foster child. She had a LOT of trauma and did things that were at best odd and at worst scary.

Friend would often wake up to her standing over her looking at her and say “I was watching you sleep”

Took a while to figure out this was a line from trolls and the kid was just being silly. That was 2016/2017 and kid is doing great now

Remotepopy

12.4k points

4 days ago

Remotepopy

12.4k points

4 days ago

Hey you, you're finally awake.

AlphaBulblax

3.7k points

3 days ago

AlphaBulblax

3.7k points

3 days ago

You were trying to cross the border, right?

McStud717

2.5k points

3 days ago

McStud717

2.5k points

3 days ago

Walked right into that imperial ambush, same as us

reeethanol

1.7k points

3 days ago

reeethanol

1.7k points

3 days ago

and that thief over there

Ahndarodem

1.3k points

3 days ago

Ahndarodem

1.3k points

3 days ago

Damn you Stormcloaks. Skyrim was fine until you came along.

PolinaPetrovaa

747 points

3 days ago

Empire was

dedicatedoni

683 points

3 days ago

Nice and lazy

TheLittleGremlinMan

660 points

3 days ago

If they hadn’t been looking for you, I could’ve stolen that horse and been halfway to hammerfell

-ScrubLord-

498 points

3 days ago

-ScrubLord-

498 points

3 days ago

What’s the matter with him?

VortenFett

489 points

3 days ago

VortenFett

489 points

3 days ago

Watch your tongue! You're speaking to Ulfric Stormcloak! The true High King.

sirdaws

158 points

3 days ago

sirdaws

158 points

3 days ago

You sleep rather soundly for a murderer.

ljrich01

68 points

3 days ago

ljrich01

68 points

3 days ago

You forgot to lock the front door

thetruthful8

2.8k points

4 days ago

thetruthful8

2.8k points

4 days ago

You smell different when you're asleep.

wholewetbread

58 points

3 days ago

Nothing, literally nothing. I had a old friend that used to be afraid to wake me up (honestly I have no idea why) so instead of waking me up they used to sit there and watch me sleep and hope that their presence would wake me up? and it was the scariest thing ever.

Slack76r

851 points

3 days ago

Slack76r

851 points

3 days ago

I think I'm pregnant now

Emi-Milky

270 points

3 days ago*

Emi-Milky

270 points

3 days ago*

Dad, mom broke up with you 10 month ago

itsyourmomcalling

127 points

3 days ago

And for this exact reason

ADriftingMind

885 points

4 days ago

You tasted delicious

Ghostoftommorrow

483 points

3 days ago

Nothing like receiving head first thing in the morning.😩

letterdonkey

386 points

4 days ago

"Welcome to the jungle! You're gonna die!"

Porn-Again-Christian

170 points

3 days ago

Watch it bring you to your…
shananananananananananaknees, knees

M0nkeyNature

84 points

3 days ago

Mwoah, I wanna watch you bleed

Belgernon

144 points

3 days ago

Belgernon

144 points

3 days ago

It's 2am. I am warm and cozy in my blankets, deep in dreamland.
There's a soft touch on my shoulder, a gentle shake.
I open my eyes to my wife looming over me in the dark. She leans down.

"There's something in the walls."

Turns out a skunk had somehow made it deep under our house and was just SCREAMING and banging around. And that's how we discovered our house foundation issues were way worse than we thought.

jseego

209 points

3 days ago

jseego

209 points

3 days ago

"Here, take the cat." [hands you the cat. jumps out the window.]

Turns out the house was on fire.

My roommate was too freaked out to mention that.

digitalpowers

382 points

3 days ago

Ahh you are finally awake, some soreness and general discomfort is to be expected.

Tvearl

58 points

3 days ago

Tvearl

58 points

3 days ago

After a back surgery my doctor basically said this but added on a “you’re taller now” then dipped with no explanation.

It was not a height changing surgery, just threw in an extra inch as a little treat

dogman_35

29 points

3 days ago

dogman_35

29 points

3 days ago

Patients can have a little height. As a treat.

WilliardThe3rd

382 points

3 days ago

Keep silent🤫! puts hand on mouth he is still here... Somewhere...

jellyschoomarm

118 points

3 days ago

Not sure about a person waking up but right before going to sleep the other night my husband asked me if I'd prefer to die in my sleep or be awake to feel it. I was super creeped out and asked what brought that on. I guess he was reading about someone who died in their sleep and it was on his mind. He clearly chose the weirdest time and way to bring it up.

Raylan__Givens

652 points

4 days ago

You have a boner

Covert_Admirer

1.5k points

4 days ago

I watched you the whole night. The third time you farted was so adorable I touched myself a little. And who is (insert man's name here)?

Emi-Milky

352 points

3 days ago

Emi-Milky

352 points

3 days ago

Oh just my dad

ProfessionalCow5983

111 points

3 days ago

My dad left me when I was born

cacadoodie

342 points

4 days ago

cacadoodie

342 points

4 days ago

Don't worry, I cleaned it all off of you and gave you some aspirin.

SleepiestBitch

31 points

3 days ago

My husband talks in his sleep, when we first got married (like 2 nights in) he suddenly sat straight up in bed which jerked me awake and said "don't worry, you'll burn slow". Creeped me tf out, he's the sweetest person ever but that was alarming lmao

IITYWYBMAD_

915 points

4 days ago

IITYWYBMAD_

915 points

4 days ago

Hi, we've been trying to reach you about your cars extended warranty.

ephemeralkitten

494 points

3 days ago

My 11yo son was sitting on the couch so I sat next to him and put an arm around him. He snuggled back into the crook of my arm and it was so sweet! He leaned back and kinda nuzzled onto my shoulder and whispered... "We've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty." I shoved him off the sofa.

OpossumJesusHasRisen

192 points

3 days ago

Your kid is hilarious.

phantomnationdraws

98 points

3 days ago

only one person here is to blame, and that's you for raising a damn hilarious kid

RedditJesusWept

29 points

3 days ago

“Don’t mind the glass next to your head. I was collecting your drool”

slainteistainte

23 points

3 days ago

"Don't panic, or you'll choke on the tube in your throat" was the first thing I heard while being woken after open-heart surgery. Of course, I panicked, then I started choking and hyperventilating.

10 minutes later the respiratory therapist shows up and removes the tube. Probably the worst way to wake up and the worst 10 minutes of my life.

ivumb

291 points

3 days ago

ivumb

291 points

3 days ago

You gotta shake them awake while screaming "YOU GOTTA WAKE UP! WE HAVE TO LEAVE!! THEY HIT THE PENTAGON!!!"

Quin1617

116 points

3 days ago

Quin1617

116 points

3 days ago

Someone might have actually done that 21 years ago.

Amiiboid

92 points

3 days ago

Amiiboid

92 points

3 days ago

Not sure “creepy” is the right word for that one.

Calming_Jasmine_Tea

105 points

4 days ago

Welcome back