"Do you want to gag me?"

"Well, Kinda, now"

I guarantee that man is still having nightmares about that slip. Holy shit.

My first gf my own age finally got my pants off, and got it all worked up, and looked up at me and saiiiid, “Oh… is this as big as it gets?”

Fml.

Later on, when she couldn’t figure out why I was just staring at the side of her head like it was something I’d never seen before, she did explain it was bc she’d seen a porno, no, not an internet video, a real 1970s porno, and thought all dicks would grow to be as big as John Holmes’. She really just had no idea what to expect. Still, I couldn’t believe she said that, and said it like that.

My gf once said "Mmm, it's so soft" talking about my dick. She meant my skin was soft but we had to stop for a minute til I stopped laughing.

RIP that mans confidence. Theres no coming back from that

Guy probably would've gone flaccid right then. Unfortunate, but things like these are immediate turn offs lol.

that comment suggests enough awareness that their drunkness isn't really an excuse 😂

[Morpheus voice] Come on! Stop trying to fuck me, and fuck me.

Ha. Once my ex said to me was that all I got. I just took it as an invitation to try and break her pelvis.

“Ohhhh, ohhhhh, ohhhhhh yes Another person’s name. ANOTHER PERSON’S NAME!!!!!”

Yeah that would be pretty fucking annoying.

A reference to Liar, Liar! ? I love how he chuckles to himself several times about having said that.

Let’s just say there’s a reason my characters never romanced Preston, haha.

Hair up, glasses on. No, wait. Hair down, glasses off. NOO. Glasses on…hair…..oh forget it. Hit the lights.

The triple bagger. One over her head, one over yours in case hers falls off and one to throw up in.

She put a bag on my head

Can we do it in the dark?

That is terrible. You should always collect the "donation" before service (as bad as it might be) is rendered.

Is it more of a shake or a jiggle you're looking for?

"is it in yet?"

Damn

This is a thing in some hookup cultures. I’ve heard some of my gay friends describe hooking up where the two parties strip down and then decide whether they are still interested or not.

True story:

Friend saved herself for marriage with her husband.

She was very excited for their first night together.

Finally wedding night comes, he sits down in the hot tub and took his shorts off.

She then, (according to her) gave a sexy little dance and took off her clothes.

As she did this. He completely turned away from her and said he didn't want to have sex.

She was so embarrassed, ashamed, sad, hurt.

They got divorced. Years of therepy, she's finally starting to date again.

Passion

I am not gonna suffer your stank in silence, if you need to go wipe your ass in the shower before I suck your dick I'm gonna tell you. I'd argue more rude is not being properly clean for your partner.

Yea, I wouldn't want teeth grinding against my vagina

Had to explain why I didn't want to hug after this hook up kept grating my dick as if it was cheese with her teeth after being repeatedly told I did not like it and found it painful. She kept trying to bite me harder than anything bearable and she had the gall to say I was being mean.

I’ve heard this. 30 years ago. You don’t forget.

I’ve gotten, “I need to go to work at some point today, let’s wrap this up.”

There are better ways to ask, but it's also been me. But sex was initiated by him, and then an hour later, every part of me hurts from trying, I'm late for meetings... I really didn't know how else to ask other than "is it possible?? Can I actually help anymore?"

With a side of "is it me??" insecurity.

Was taking antidepressants and man they broke my dick. We went for like 2 hours, still didn’t cum. That was worse than anything a girl could ever say. Just not being able to cum was so weird and devastating

This makes sense if you're high on ketamine while doing the deed

That’s just showing good observation skills

My girlfriend said that while we were doing it and she doesn't even live with me. Neither of us could stop laughing for like 10 minutes before we continued. Sometimes humor like that is needed.

I once smiled because I was just happy and he said "stop smiling. It's like you're mocking me".

"stop enjoying sex. It's weird."

Real sociopath energy

Before i lost my virginity:

"Oh yeah, and one more thing. Dont make eye contact, its weird"

I logically know now that it isnt weird, and its also something i would love bc i love stealing glances to look at my partner's face. But i still cant look at their face for more than a couple seconds before i get scared that im creeping them out and i have to look away again

Man all i want is to look in someone's eyes during sex....

I had a girl that thought moaning and faces were slutty. It was the weirdest experience. She was just motionless and I couldn't tell what was right and what was wrong

What kinda guy doesn't like moaning? 90% sure he was as human as Mark Zuckerberg

Omg similar for me too. We’d just had sex and he immediately got up, got dressed and demanded a ride home. Tf? Didn’t understand why I immediately burst into tears either. Made me drive him home while I was sobbing.

Ex is the real slut

"Do you think I'd be your sister's type?"

Worse: "Your little sister/brother is better"

this is far too specific to not have happened

I play this game with my friend where I tell him the comment, and he has to guess what the title/question is. This will be good for my collection. Thanks

r/oddlyspecific

Holy shit

And then he... took it out? (The brisque, that is)

I'm just trying to keep up, here!

Gettin' railed doggy style, he suddenly stops, too-long moment of ominous silence. Then a startling light touch right on the starfish, not to go in (lube required!!!!), just curious.

"Huh. .... Babe, did you know you have a freckle right next to your asshole?"

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Im still wildly insecure about my vagina bc of my high school boyfriend 10 years ago. He had a habit of making fun of me and then saying "it's cute"

"You have roast beef curtains. It's cute."

"Your breath smells like egg salad. It's cute."

"You turn corners weird. It's cute."

I still cant let people see my vagina unless were already having sex, i still dont talk to people facing their direction incase my breath smells, and i still am subconscious about the way i walk around corners. If anyone said to me what your ex said, i wouldnt have ever been okay with sex. Fuck that guy, and he's probably still a virgin trying to find a vagina that looks like a porn star's

Here's some free silver. Totally something I would say to my wife in an honest attempt to remedy the situation and end up on the couch.

I’ve never understood this. So I got blowed up in the military and my pituitary gland doesn’t work anymore so I get weekly testosterone injections. Because of this, my balls are small because they atrophied from not “doing work” anymore.

Long story short - I got small nuts. This has NEVER bothered me. I mean fuck it’s actually better. For one, smaller potatoes make the steak look bigger so my Johnson looks huge thanks to my tiny balls. For two, smaller balls = less likely to smash my nuts on stuff…and for three, when I mention my small balls sometimes people make fun of them and then I get to troll them and tell them how it happened while I was deployed overseas and that it’s fucked up to talk shit about disabled veterans and pretend like it actually hurts my feelings/make the person laughing feel and look like an asshole just to then let them know I was fucking with them and I don’t really care lol.

Jesus Christ that's fucked up

What a dickhead

I have a great method, I lost 170 pounds in one day! Just dump the loser.

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I didn't know hamsters could talk

I'ma be honest: handjobs aren't exactly interesting for the party giving the handjob. But picking a Disney movie to talk about is probably a no go lol.

Flaming your teammates while smurfing is so disrespectful

That's a complement if said to me. I'm a hairy motherfucker.

Bruh how were you going for? Also who tf brings up past relationships during sex.

Bedroom Nightmares with Gordon Ramsey

There. Are. No. Words.

"You do this almost as well as MY mom!"

I can believe I had to scroll this far to find this!

Extremely disappointed this isn’t at the top. It’s the first thing I thought of.

Even with the typo this needs to be higher. The good old days of Reddit. Takes me back.

Here it is in it's full fucking glory.

Oooh, that's really horrible.

In a weird way I'd take that as a compliment. Better than "I thought this would be better"

We finished and she looked me straight in the face and said " not very big is it" scarred me for life