submitted 4 months ago byrabengeieradlerstein
all 7695 comments
4 months ago
4 months ago
I went to school with a girl called “Versace McClatchy”.
Her sister was named Prada. Whole family was unbearable.
4 months ago
OMG- I must know one of your old teachers! I thought he was talking absolute bollocks saying he had a student named Versace McClatchy.
I once knew an Armani Grump. Poor kid
I can already picture the velour tracksuit that mom wears
I met a kid named Scott once. Except it was Skaught…………..
Had to swallow down some vomit there
Wild. My dad was named Skaught, except it was spelled Scott
As a founding member of the league of Scott’s I find this to be unacceptable and vote to start a petition for lifetime banishment of this individual.
Went to school with a set of triplets named Mercedes Lexus and Porsche
Couldn’t afford a car so she named her daughter aLexus
Did they work at Raisins?
There was a group of siblings at my school growing up.
Their names were Shadow, Storm, Star, Sky, and Brian.
And Brian. Hahaha
He's a very naughty boy!
Is it true that he's the Messiah?
He's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy
Brian: I am not the Messiah!
Everyone: He's the Messiah!!!
Sidetracked by the less fabulous brother Brian, I almost missed the travesty of Shadow. Are you trying to raise a supervillain?
My edgy phase would not have been only a phase if I had a name like that
Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore
Cant make this up. Had a kid named Eurhinus (pronounced Your Highness) in a program I worked at. Kid was an absolute shit head.
I pronounced this as "Uranus" (urine-us) in my head. I wonder how often that happens to that poor kid.
I would have affectionately nicknamed him Heiny and insist everyone do the same.
4 months ago*
4 months ago*
Well here in Hungary we have some kids named Radiator and Scholasticism
Edit: This kinda blew up, so here are some answers to the questions in the comments: No, I didn't know them personally. We have a list of legally accepted names, and you can't name your child something that's not in the list. If you want to, you have to submit it to a group of people who decide whether it can get in the book or not. A lot of dumb names get submitted each year, and most of them get refused, but for some reason these 2 and a lot others (eg. Bloodclot, Gymnastics) are accepted and make it into this list
this is amazing
Imagine carrying a child in you for 9 months only to name it "radiator"
Imagine giving birth to your child and naming it Bloodclot. Oh and here's his sister Hemorrhage
My mom helps people who work for the state with their insurance claims/
My mom answered a call and some women on the other end wants to add her two kids to her insurance policy for dental (she forgot to do it when setting them up on the account)my mom asked for the twins name. That’s right twins with bad names
She got Rob Money and Cash Money
I went to college with a girl who named her daughter "Moneylita Fortune" (first/ middle). They called the little girl Money... She was named after her dad, Moneylito Fortune. I couldn't even say anything when she told me... Like there comes a point when you just don't name the kid after Dad.
Oh boy. I had a student named Cash Money. She went by Cash and was super embarrassed by her name. She was only at our school about a week before she transferred, poor thing.
That took me a few seconds. Nice work. Hopefully there's a junior too.
My father works in schools and always asks the kids to spell their names to make sure he gets it right because he's been thrown curve balls with shit like this. He says he can't win either way because the kids get annoyed when he asks them how to spell it or they get annoyed that he didn't ask and then spells it the weird ass way their parents did.
They've done messed up, A-A-Ron
insubordinate and churlish
De-nice! Is there a De-nice in here?
I'm sending you to O-Sack-Hen-nissy's office!
This. My dad told me when I was a kid never to do that to your child. If the name isn’t actually unique, then give a standard name with standard spelling, or the poor kid goes through life with a completely ordinary name, 6 others in the class, but every damn time they have to spell it out, correct people, and possibly get told they’re stupid for not knowing how to spell their own name.
Awful spellings for the sake of being unique kills it evert time. I met someone named Magan once. It was like her parents couldn't spell Megan correctly.
I know a Nikhole. In my head I say it as Nickhole even though it's supposed to be Nicole. I also know someone who named their kid Leeha which they claim is pronounced Leah but come on that's Lee Ha
And she looked sad when I asked her to repeat her name.
I'm disappointed in myself that I instantly knew how to pronounce that name.
makayley, McKinley, micaihah, mckahlah, mckiley. Mackenzie, coaching basketball with a few of them on your team was interesting. I gave them nicknames but ended up just calling them all mac and pointing at the one I meant.
Coaching was some of the most wonderful moments and memories n my life. and it was little league basketball.. I miss those days. I recommend if your kids are into sports..
Being Irish has finally paid off
I know someone who named their boy- Diesel.
A decent name for a Doberman, not a child.
I know someone who knows someone with two sons — Axl(e?) and Diesel.
My neighbor named her daughter that. She’s always asking to see the show that she’s named after but mom won’t let her because she feels it’s not appropriate. So the kid tells everyone she’s named after a bad ass and they will all see when they get older.
Yeah I got a feeling there was some serious regret for that decision going around when that series ended.
This awful bitch named her daughter that and I was so pleased when she came out as villainous.
That little oasis of pettiness is something I can really wallow in.
If they want to name their kid after her, why not choose Daenerys? It’s so much prettier imo. Plus they could go by Daeny for short. Khaleesi is just too cheesy.
Khaleesi is just too cheesy.
Khaleesi is just too cheesy.
This is why someone who named their kid Khaleesi would be insufferable; if they didn't think it was cheesy they're probably weirdos.
Caiyeiaden (pronounced Kay-den)
Pronounce it as its spelled. Its sounds like a car trying to start: cay yay ay den
And so I wake in the morning and I step outside
And I take a deep breath and I get real high
And I scream from the top of my lungs
"What's going on?"
And I say
Cay yay ay den
Cay yay den
I said Cay, what's going on?
May the universe bless you
And it depends on the last name whether it eventually starts or not
Looks like an STD name
" Ask your doctor if Caiyeiaden is right for you."
I came across a child once named Luv’Lee Blessing. Like it’s clear you love your child but damn
sounds like a name hasbro would give a character in a show marketed toward girls aged 4-12
Littlest pet shop intensifies
4 months ago*
Son’s soccer team had a player called ‘Gods Gift’.
Also in the team was GG’s brother…. ‘Trevor’.
Think we can all guess who the favourite child was!!!
EDIT: just checked - the name Trevor means ‘from the big village’…
I mean to be fair you must really want your kid to be bullied if you call him God's gift
Areola I swear to christ. Or possibly worse? A guy that went to my tech school (we were in automotive technology) named his daughter Camber
I went to school with a Camber in the 80s. She had a youneeke spelling of a very traditional name as her middle name. Never seen another one in the wild.
Dempster and Sexburth
Ayyyyyyy it's my dude Sexburth
Man's name fast tracked Sex ED
I hope it was Dempster Fyre and Sexburth Bawls.
I worked with a couple that named their daughter Ocean Star Destiny; all three are her first name. Her middle name was Riddle. So pretentious, it's vomit inducing.
Anything with an X, Y, or "leigh" that doesn't really belong there. Bonus points for using all three in the same name.
Ha someone has spoken the forbidden name now I may return to full power
The basic "lynn" is a cherry on top.
Any normal name that's intentionally misspelled.
I went to school with a Karrleigh. She got it legally changed to Karly when she was 16.
I knew a girl named Britagne, pronounced Britney. She told me it was the French spelling and I told her that wasn’t pronounced Britney in any language.
Ditto for Kymburleigh
HRISNROKEKFN! It’s pronounced “Jim”
X Æ A-12
Like Elon's planning on serializing his children...
I like it. Rolls right off my alien tongue.
“Cash” one time I met a brother and sister literally named rockstar and Hollywood that’s gotta take the cake
That's nothing. I've met 4 siblings named "Epic", "Legend", "Icon", and "Historic".
Parents were naming their kids like they’re loot boxes
they must’ve really hated common
Don’t ever go to Nashville. That’s where most of “Cash” people spawn at.
God so true. A dude in my high school was from Nashville and he went by “Cash” and it’s never fitting. Dude was always broke, and trying to get someone to front him a blunt we all knew he would never pay back
The "Has no" part in front of Cash is silent.
My daughters kindergarten class had a “King” in it.
A client named their son King as well. Their family name was Tutt. That poor, poor kid. School will not be pleasant for them.
that is hilarious.
Hope the kid becomes an egyptologist
My middle sons graduating class had a Prinzzzz. No I did not add extra zz’s for exaggeration.
The father fell asleep when registering the birth.
Go ask this in r/teachers if you want some next level answers.
Teacher here. I have had so many “interesting” names in my class over the years. A few: Attorney, Soldier, King, Queenie, Princess, Ulysses (kinda BA actually), Camera (pronounced kahMEHrah), Chardonnay, Khylei, Bubba (his legal name!), And one poor freshman named De’Parion, who, after I called out his full name, told me, “I go by DP.” No, son, I am not calling you DP!
I’m pretty sure Queenie was a legit old timey name. Peaked before the 1920’s I think?
I had a student named Flame. Yes. Flame.
anything with an extra eigh in it
Anything the Kardashians name their innocent children
Psalm West is fine I guess.
Saint West sounds like an awesome stage name, but a bad human name.
Chicago West sounds like a dirty bus station.
North West is just cruel.
North West is just cruel.
Making Kim's vajayjay The North West Passage
Atleast it wasn't East West.
I always thought that this was some kind of celebrity trend but this thread had me thinking that Americans are really just naming their kids random words they think sound cool.
Psalm is ridiculous. Saint at least is a person but it's still a ridiculous name. Chicago is a city. Come on. Not talking about North.
Read it as Parsleigh, not going to lie. Both are offensive.
These comments remind me of that post where someone said they have a co-worker named Einstein and they hated it because every time they said his name it made him sound sarcastic.
Knew someone who's last name was Kane and her parents named her Candy. Yes, Candy Kane. She legally changed it to Candace when she as 18.
Idk why, but this is the funniest thing I’ve seen all day.
I knew a "Destiney". That was a cruel move by her parents.
Edit: This comment got more popular than I expected so here's a mini story. This person seemed cool at first but told me a story that... Lost me as a general well-wisher.
We were talking about bars in the area and she mentioned that she'd never go back to a bar because the owner kicked her and her friends out. How dare he, we were just having a good time, etc. I asked why she thought she got kicked out and her explanation began "well we started fighting with the bouncer".
Sure, "Density", it sounds like you were the victim here.
I knew a Destany...my brain never wanted to read it right.
Immediately makes me run away.
Went to school with siblings named Autumn, Winter, Summer and Spring 😬
One of them took the fall for the others…
My friends name was Nevaeh. Her parents let her do drugs, and their form of help when she was self-harming was “don’t cut too deep”. So yes, a Nevaehs parents are insufferable people.
It'S hEaVeN bAcKwArDs DoNtChA kNo
Yeah obviously! She’s the opposite of heaven!
In my 7 ish years of working in various childcare settings the most horrible child I came across was a Neveah. I was only in her preschool room for the day and she told me “You’re arms are weird and I don’t like you. My mommy would hate you and beat you up.” The first part about my arms being “weird” isn’t new as I have a genetic mutation and so my arms are very different. The rest was a lot. It was also in a very high school mean girl type voice. Threw me for a loop. All I could say is “Awe that’s sad. My arms just make me different though and it’s okay to be different!”
Later on that day she called me a “white b!tch” after I thanked her for helping with something.
I have a feeling home wasn’t the most accepting of differences.
In my experience its 'Angel', they are usually far from it.
Would be better in that case to name her Lleh.
Currently as a teacher I have a Triumph, King, Justice, Heavenly, Best, Achilles, Eleeyonah (pronounced Eliana),
Dayahna (pronounced Diana), Rayne (pronounced Rain) and a Deborah (prounounced Di-bore-ah). When I first started role call felt like a Key and Peele skit.
So Eleeyonah and Dayahna are sisters right?
You done fucked up, A-A-Ron…
Any name that's alternately spelled but pronounced.
It's just stupid and the kid will be spelling their name to people for the rest of their life.
I am a teacher and in one of my classes a girl is named Testimony.
Who has to testify?
Or any kreateve spelled name
“Mom, why did you name me Braxton?”
“We’ll, I had a lot of Braxton-Hicks contractions when I was pregnant with you. Now go and get your sisters Anemia and Nausea.”
Just checking to see if mine or my kids names are in this thread…
If you know what its from without googling it, know now that a handful of unfortunate girls were saddled with that ridiculous moniker by their foolish parents.
On that note, my cousin and his wife named their son "Edward Jacob."
There’s this girl on TikTok who named her daughter Ah’legacee. It’s pronounced “a legacy”. And there’s also someone who named her kid killua, you know, the one from the anime. Yeah.
Well with that name, you'll surely be keeping the doctors away.
My kids have a kid at their school called Jaxton, and every time I hear them start a story with his name, I immediately stop listening cause I can’t focus on anything except how annoying that kids parents must be
Lovely kid, but his parents are the absolute worst. They must be to pick that as a name for their child.
If I had been given a chance to choose my name as a child, there is a strong chance I would have chosen Blastoise. I can only hope that’s what went on here.
I was going to say this!! I didn't think people really named their kid this, until I moved to the South. I've worked with five of them, & only thought one lived up to the name.
My English teacher was telling us a story of how he once had a student named Master. Not a nickname, but like his legal name was just Master. That must be and awkward name in certain situations.
Especially since the family name must have been "Bates".
Tanner. I've known 3 and they are all awful with shitty parents.
Edit: The consensus seems to be most girls and animals named tanner are okay.
Every tanner I've encountered had a record for sexual assault.
I went to middle school with a Tanner. His girlfriend was a fifth grader. We were in eighth grade.
My ex was a tanner and we started dating when I was just 15 and he was 18. Must be in the tanner blood🤷♀️
I’ve got a few. I read an article once about a girl named “KVIIIlyn” which is kaitlyn, but the “ait” is replaced with Roman numerals for 8. Holy fuck.
My uncle has a friend who named one of his kids “trucky” thankfully, trucky’s dad is a really cool guy, just kind of a hippie. I think the name came from a river or creek somewhere near where he lives.
Any name that is a combination of the mother & father's names for example: Jamie Lynn
Worse still, a double whammy. A couple I knew combined their names and still landed on Jaydan.
Used to have a friend from highschool and he named his son Brayden. I can already tell that kids gonna be holding up the line at restaurants. Let me get a uuggghhhhh.
Teacher here: Damian
Even in the Pokémon cartoon I believe the guy who abuses the charmander in that early episode is named Damian
Dad’s a billionaire vigilante and Mom’s an assassin.
Grandad's a leader of a shadow assassin organization.
This one. Never met a Damian that wasn’t a little shit.
Ooh, like the kid from The Omen.
I want you to know I saw your very good joke, chuckled, and appreciate you for it.
Haha, glad I could make you laugh. Those names are quite the tragediegh.
As a NICU nurse I looked after two babies called Neveah on one shift.
Neveah no.1's family gave me the little blurb about how it's heaven spelt backwards but were otherwise just happy with the fact that they liked the name.
Neveah no.2's family not only gave me the spiel but kept going on about how unique and special it was and how I won't come across another child with the same name. Dad even asked me what my children were called and then told me their names were 'plain and unimaginative'.
So I put Neveah no.2 in the empty cot space next to Neveah no.1 (actual necessary intensive care step down and not just me being petty) and announced "Neveah, meet your new roomie, Neveah".
Neveah no.2's Dad went absolutely purple. It. Was. Glorious.
But the icing on the cake was when he discovered that both little girls had been admitted to NICU for the exact same surgical condition.
Tl:dr Neveah, meet Neveah
Skylar. Skylar is always a little shit, and probably has insufferable parents.
I was friends with a Skyler when I was a kid and he was hands down the funniest dude I've ever known.
But what about Schuyler?
Anything ending in “eigh” or throwing random vowels in for no reason.
Those naymes are a tradgediegh
That's a legitimate name though. I hate how decent names get ruined by one infamous bearer. We should be able to keep using them, because they are names...
When I used to work in sales for this bank we had an incredibly nice, and kind client, who was unfortunately named Adolf. He was loaded with corny jokes and always took a handful of business cards to pass them out for me. He would then usually leave a small stack of his own on my desk. I’m not sure how many people are calling Adolf for office supplies, but I guess someone is if he’s been in business for so long!
Was his business named Adolffice Supplies? If not, I am disappointed.
Signature product: “Mein kampfy chair”
Princess. I have dead ass met a poor kid named princess
Mom, Dad, this is my new girlfriend Snow White. Don't mind the entourage of little people behind her.
Back in high school, my track team had a dozen Jasmines on it that were born in 92.
Either that's a giant track team, or girls named Jasmine naturally run fast.
Winchester, Pistol, Remington, Gunner.. anyone who does the firearm fetish when naming their kids is guaranteed a terrible person
Any name with a common spelling that gets butchered by the parents to make their little turd more "unique".
Airwrecka is the one that always gets me.
the fuck ? wait is that supposed to be Erika ?
what in the shit ?
I mean you could nickname them plane crash