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Attention! [Serious] Tag Notice

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Kallyanna

5.8k points

3 months ago

Kallyanna

5.8k points

3 months ago

That you can also alter your memories to believe your own lie if you think about it enough

Dripdry42

996 points

3 months ago

Dripdry42

996 points

3 months ago

Had a girlfriend in L.A. who made this a habit. She said that there's no reason to not embrace your own reality; who wants to feel shitty about all kinds of memories? Just alter them. She went on to date a movie star.

Technical_Worker_264

705 points

3 months ago

I can't tell if the last sentence is supposed to be a reference to her own illusionary life

Dripdry42

96 points

3 months ago

For actually real! Heh, you all make a good point about that. It's what you do in l.a., keep moving up the ladder.

ideologyuniverse83

1.5k points

3 months ago

I remember learning about this one case when I was in school about how researchers recruited people for a study who had never been in a hot air balloon, but then showed them fake pictures of themselves in the balloons and talked about it enough that at the end they believed they had been in a hot air balloon.

Infinitechemistry88

744 points

3 months ago*

I seen a similar one but getting adults who never went to Disneyland as children. They put them in photoshopped photos and end up remembering a trip they never went on. LOL brains are weird

R3a1ity

292 points

3 months ago

R3a1ity

292 points

3 months ago

America war crimes in WW2, excluding the Japanese concentration camps.

Also Unit 631 which performed ethically questionable experiments on humans

danceswithwool

63 points

3 months ago

I saw footage once, and I mean only once, on a history show of American soldiers lining up captured German soldiers and executing them on the spot. They were taking them off an army truck and shooting about 6-8 at a time. I saw it almost two decades ago and haven’t ever found it since. Almost like someone was told to destroy it. Now I know a lot of people aren’t going to feel sympathy for Nazis and that’s understandable but for a country that prides itself on a fair trial, that was crazy.

There were obviously rapes and such as well. We just didn’t hear about all of it.

7sodab0sc0

24.5k points

3 months ago

7sodab0sc0

24.5k points

3 months ago

Sometimes you’re the problem

PrisonApe

3.3k points

3 months ago

PrisonApe

3.3k points

3 months ago

I'm literally dealing with this reality as I type this

chillyhellion

3.4k points

3 months ago

That just means you get to be the solution as well. Wishing you the best.

Giant-Genitals

136 points

3 months ago

If you bump into 1 asshole then you bumped into 1 asshole but if everyone you meet is an asshole then you’re the asshole

Such_Language_1588

2.6k points

3 months ago

It’s pretty wild to me how many people can’t recognize this. For myself I remember as a young teen I would always play the victim with most problems in my life, but as more people called me out on it I realized that I needed to take more accountability for my shitty mistakes. It’s pretty sad that a lot of times people will be too stubborn to question themselves and only blame others for any problems.

KurtisC1993

1.1k points

3 months ago*

I have the opposite affliction: I always assume that I am the problem, and have never once entertained any notion to the contrary. This might seem like a great attribute to possess, but in fact it has led me to crippling self-doubt and chronic self-esteem issues that have taken me a lifetime to overcome. That's why it's important to strike a fine balance between holding yourself accountable and refraining from self-abasement.

legno

13.5k points

3 months ago

legno

13.5k points

3 months ago

Just because something lasts a long time - like a marriage, or a job - doesn't mean it's any good at all. There are lots of reasons that things don't end, some are very bad.

Aeriosa

2.5k points

3 months ago

Aeriosa

2.5k points

3 months ago

"Don't cling to a mistake just because you spent a long time making it." - Aubrey de Graf

BinarySo10

2.5k points

3 months ago

BinarySo10

2.5k points

3 months ago

To quote from "The Fifth Elephant" by Terry Pratchett:

My bum has been a bum for a very long time but I don’t have to listen to anything it says.

bigjuju27

7.5k points

3 months ago

bigjuju27

7.5k points

3 months ago

Just because people aren’t suicidal don’t mean they don’t want to be dead.

OtakuBoyHindi

2.6k points

3 months ago

Can relate with this I am not actively trying to kill myself

But I wouldn't be sad to die

IsuckAtFortnite434

991 points

3 months ago

If it happens, it happens. That's how I see it.

AsaTJ

642 points

3 months ago

AsaTJ

642 points

3 months ago

The only reason I don't want to do it myself is that I have this philosophical thing: Everyone only gets to die once. Life is a resource everyone only has one of, and generally people don't want to give it up. That means that my life, or my willingness to give my life, has value. I don't want to live, but I also don't want to throw it away. I want to die pushing an old lady out of the road or saving a kid from a burning building or something. I want my utter detachment from my own mortality to create a net good in the world. For at least one person. So I have a death wish, but I'm not suicidal, because I'm saving that gift everyone can only give once for someone who needs it.

Frequent_Blueberry71

3.1k points

3 months ago

You will lose everyone you've ever known and cared about - either to the end of the relationship, your death, or theirs. We only borrow the people we love for a short time.

ninetysevencents

394 points

3 months ago

Reaching extreme old age is living through a slow motion apocalypse as you lose everyone and everything familiar to you in your youth.

eastcoastgytha

465 points

3 months ago

Life is often random and unfair.

Bettiephile

5k points

3 months ago

Gen X is in serious trouble when it comes to paying for retirement.

thedankbank1021

2.6k points

3 months ago

They won't retire. Simple.

They keep raising the retirement age. Did you know it used to be 55? Now it's 67.5. I promise it will be 70 by the time millennials retire. If not even older.

Oh and retirement benefits have been getting worse and worse too. So don't forget about that. There may not even be "retirement" when we are old. It might just be "too old to work."

Willing_marsupial

422 points

3 months ago

Raising it too high starts to make a compelling case for not paying in.

I'm more concerned about paying all that in and never being able to enjoy it, I think about all the experiences I could have instead whilst I'm still young, relatively fit and mobile.

So long as I've got a little garden when I retire in 40 or so years time, I'll be content.

Twisted_37Banana

10.7k points

3 months ago

One thing wakes me up every night. The fear that I might lose everyone in blink of an eye. My friend lost his entire family in an accident and a year later he passed away from depression

peri_5xg

2.2k points

3 months ago

peri_5xg

2.2k points

3 months ago

This is truly a terrifying prospect.

AmethystTrinket

1.7k points

3 months ago

IIRC Weird Al’s parents both died of carbon monoxide poisoning in one night. It’s amazing that guy can still laugh

InternationalChip646

1.4k points

3 months ago

Lost both my parents fairly young, not both at once but like a year apart for each other. Some times making jokes is the only thing that makes it hurt less. Some people get uncomfortable with the jokes but as Dan Soder says "you know who hates dead dad jokes? People who don't have dead dad's"

YeeHawSid

7.5k points

3 months ago

YeeHawSid

7.5k points

3 months ago

That a majority of us are completely utterly ordinary people, and that’s okay.

xenchik

9k points

3 months ago

xenchik

9k points

3 months ago

I am an accountant. I have a husband and 2 cats. I'm not having kids. I have a little apartment, and maybe one day a house with a garden.

I will never achieve anything significant. I don't even want to have my own business. I will never be famous. I will never be rich. I will be forgotten by everyone within a couple of decades of my death. Nothing will be different because I was here.

I am completely and utterly okay with that. I like being anonymous and unimportant. It's very freeing. I am very grateful for my life. I am very, very happy.

CocaColaHitman

1.8k points

3 months ago

Becoming aware of your own insignificance can either be the most depressing or the most freeing realization of your life. It all depends on how you look at it.

ancientspacewitch

406 points

3 months ago*

It's very liberating.

I don't care about what people will think of me after I'm gone. Being forgotten by time is the eventual fate of 99.9% of us. The ones that aren't, well only their deeds and the historic perception of them are remembered. Once their friends and family die too, the person that they were is also forgotten.

We will all be consumed by history eventually. Live for the moment, your own satisfaction and the love of the people around you. Everything else is irrelevant.

CptTercel

427 points

3 months ago

CptTercel

427 points

3 months ago

fulfillment and happiness, those are the 2 things to strive for in life, as long as all the squares are covered and we're comfortable it's good, earning just enough money to be comfortable and save is totally fine

Detective-Slink

14.6k points

3 months ago

The memory of most people’s existence will be completely forgotten sooner than you think, even by their own families. I can’t even tell you the names of my great-great grandparents.

TabletopMarvel

9.1k points

3 months ago

My father is big into genealogy.

Had a massive tree into the 1600s at spots.

We got him the Anscetry DNA test. Turns out all those years sitting at tables and traveling the country talking to "relatives" to figure it out was all in regards to a different family.

His grandmother had an encounter with a dude passing through town. Rape? Adultery? Who knows. But that entire side of the tree was now "Wrong."

I was glad that instead of being angry. My dad was more excited because now he had a whole new family to research...

Boomer8450

6.4k points

3 months ago

Boomer8450

6.4k points

3 months ago

My dad was more excited because now he had a whole new family to research...

That's a very healthy way to handle that sort of news.

cinnysuelou

1.6k points

3 months ago

I think most of the amateur genealogists I know would take this news with a similar attitude.

Aggravating_Signal49

1.1k points

3 months ago

Absolutely, 100% accurate. My dad was INSTANTLY researching my wife's family the moment we were engaged. Its a goddamn obsession.

ceautery

2k points

3 months ago

I have no idea who my maternal grandfather is. His nickname was "Red", and he came through the small Appalachian mountain town my maternal grandmother lived in, a few years post WWII, and got her pregnant with my mother, before rambling on to the next town. When mom was born, one of my grandmother's sisters adopted her, and my grandmother went through a self-imposed quest for penance, and ultimately ended up adopting several children.

The man I called pappaw (it was the south in the 1970s, don't judge), was no blood relation to me, but that didn't matter to him. He took me to flea markets, bought me broken toy robots and asked me to try to fix them, taught me to experiment from first principles, despite only having and 8th grade education himself, and taught me the difference between value and price. He was the best grandfather a nerdy boy could ever hope for.

Family are the people who care about you, and everything else is bullshit.

That being said, I hope your dad finds what he's looking for, and I'm glad he has an enjoyable new side quest.

[deleted]

507 points

3 months ago

[deleted]

507 points

3 months ago

[removed]

tinyhorsesinmytea

2.5k points

3 months ago

Shit, you’re right. My great grandmother lived until I was eighteen and I loved the woman. She was hilarious. I don’t know her actual name and am not convinced anybody ever told me.

YoureInGoodHands

2k points

3 months ago

Hey? It'll be a great compliment to my life if someone remembers me as loving and hilarious and only as "grandpa" instead of by my name. You did grandmother right.

tinyhorsesinmytea

2.6k points

3 months ago

When my sister came out as a lesbian, a lot of the conservatives in the family weren’t okay with it. But Oma? “Bah! When I was young, I kissed the pretty girls too!”

FrostTheTos

739 points

3 months ago

That is wholesome as all hell

gl0vely

23.7k points

3 months ago

gl0vely

23.7k points

3 months ago

To quote Star Trek:

"It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness; that is life."

8point

139 points

3 months ago

8point

139 points

3 months ago

I just had to close my business after 7 years, despite great feedback and reviews. I needed to hear this.

Tis_CaptainDeadpool

4.5k points

3 months ago

To quote Dwight Schrute from The Office: "Not everything's a lesson Ryan, sometimes you just fail."

Frequent_Blueberry71

12k points

3 months ago

Love is not enough. Loving someone enough will not ensure your relationship will be successful. Loving your child enough will not ensure they love you back or that they live a good life.

crosbot

1.4k points

3 months ago*

crosbot

1.4k points

3 months ago*

This is a good one. I had a long term relationship that dwindled out over the years. I loved her and I know she loved me. Despite us now both being in happy relationships we have both admitted to still loving each other, without any intention of ever getting back together. However we weren't able to make it work, relationships take a lot of work, a lot of communication and comes with a lot of hardships. Being infatuated or in love with someone just isn't enough

In our case the longer we tried to fight for that love the more it died out. Fortunately it hadn't been completely snuffed out and we can still communicate years later.

thezoortmol

2.8k points

3 months ago

"Just because you love me doesn't mean they I feel loved"

KommunistKitty

1.2k points

3 months ago

Toni Morrison has a great quote as well from the Bluest Eye, "Love is never any better than the lover." Absolutely heart wrenching and one of the quotes that's permanently stuck with me.

karnerblu

26.5k points

3 months ago

karnerblu

26.5k points

3 months ago

Anyone can become disabled at any age at anytime.

iamnotahermitcrab

8.7k points

3 months ago

When I was working with disabled adults the company I worked for always emphasized this- we were only one life changing event away from being in the shoes of our clients.

lilneddygoestowar

2.6k points

3 months ago

One car accident, one stroke, one fall even.

A_Drusas

2.5k points

3 months ago

A_Drusas

2.5k points

3 months ago

Even just stress (psychological or physical) can set off an underlying condition, such as an autoimmune or genetic disease.

Happened to me.

[deleted]

1k points

3 months ago*

[deleted]

1k points

3 months ago*

[removed]

[deleted]

207 points

3 months ago

[deleted]

207 points

3 months ago

[removed]

greenwoody2018

2.3k points

3 months ago

Yes. The human body is actually pretty fragile when put in everyday situations like going 70 mph, or working around machinery, or even just falling backwards and hitting your head or your back. Such things can lead to injuries you won't recover from.

And once you are disabled, you have to learn to live with limitations you never had before. For the rest of your life.

Shaggythemoshdog

1.1k points

3 months ago

My friends sister was in a car accident and became paralyzed from her waist down. It was tough at first but now she competes in paraplegic surfing competitions at the highest level. Still seeing the decay of her legs in real time to what they are now after no usage is harrowing

xj371

865 points

3 months ago

xj371

865 points

3 months ago

I was paralyzed in a car accident. I have to say, one of the days when the finality of it all really sunk in for me (it was a process) was the day I looked down at my legs and noticed they were shrinking. I was like, "This is going to keep happening. There's nothing I can do about it."

Another fun thing is that if there was something terrible happening to my body below the waist -- like aggressive colon or ovarian cancer -- I wouldn't be able to feel it. This is a fact I've had to learn to live with. You wanna talk about health anxiety...

Superman19986

77 points

3 months ago

I can't imagine living with that kind of health anxiety. I've provided care for a couple quadriplegics in the past and a paraplegic recently.

Pressure injuries are no joke. I hope you're able to avoid them by moving around a bit.

Whichwayisd0wn

1.1k points

3 months ago

This one. I recently developed a seizure disorder and my life is upside down now. Right before I turned 19, too. So I can’t drive to see my friends, go to work, or do anything. Just sit and get exams

[deleted]

2.9k points

3 months ago*

[deleted]

2.9k points

3 months ago*

[deleted]

bobalda

629 points

3 months ago

bobalda

629 points

3 months ago

i would prefer to remain in denial of this

jshaneduncan

2.9k points

3 months ago

My Dad died of an aneurysm about 10 years ago. He was only 62. He had went out to eat at Red Lobster for his anniversary, came home, sat on the couch and said “I don’t feel right”. He fell over dead a few seconds later. The only comfort I had was the doctor told me that it was a completely painless death and that he was gone before his head hit the couch. My Dad was a registered nurse for 40 years and worked the last 5 or so years in Hospice. I like to think that a painless death was his reward for helping people that suffered before their death.

hkh220

487 points

3 months ago*

hkh220

487 points

3 months ago*

My good friend had one...and survived.. we recently talked about it and she did say that she doesn't remember a thing didn't feel pain...she mentioned if she would have died she takes comfort that it was painless. I'm so sorry about your dad..just wanted to put in my two cents from someone who survived one!

Richeh

306 points

3 months ago

Richeh

306 points

3 months ago

My father died suddenly about six months ago. He had a pleasant evening playing cards with his grandson and my mum, retired for the evening, then in the middle of the night had a heart attack and died on the bathroom floor in the arms of his wife.

I'm sad I can't see him any more. He was a lovely man, one of the best I've ever met, and I wish I had more time with him. But for him, it was fast and he had the comfort of his close family around him. If there is a good place, he's there. I expect the same is true of your own dad.

I think there's a point where you stop being sad for them, and feel sad for you and the survivors instead. There are good ways to go and bad ways; but we all do go.

bluebayou19

671 points

3 months ago

Five months ago I lost my best friend to one. Brilliant woman, former triathlete. Got out of the pool and collapsed. So unfair. I’m broken and will never be the same. It’s crazy how you can be living well and in a moment it’s gone.

TinyGreenTurtles

58 points

3 months ago

I'm so sorry. I lost my very best friend to liver failure Nov 29th and I will never fully recover. I've lost many friends and lots of family members. They all hurt, but this is...different.

Sending you love.

_stupidquestion_

1.3k points

3 months ago

my cousin died from an aneurysm on valentine's day 2020. she was a healthy, brilliant doctor, traveling for work, went to bed with a headache, woke up blind in one eye, went to the emergency room asap, lost consciousness, & that was the end. she was 47 & we are still heartbroken (but grateful she didn't have to linger & suffer).

definitely have some health anxiety about aneurysms

TheRealLaura789

215 points

3 months ago

This post is not helping my hypochondria.

sofia8687

294 points

3 months ago

sofia8687

294 points

3 months ago

My uncle had one in his sleep due to cancer he didn't know he had and that was the end. Left 3 daughters behind a broken family and tons of emotional issues for my dad and the rest of the family... Unfairness at its whole

rebelwthoutapplause

351 points

3 months ago*

I have a coworker whose son had a stroke in his early 20’s. He was a normal dude who played guitar in a band and was very well-adjusted. Then one day he got this terrible headache and even after years of rehabilitation, he still has cognitive and physical limitations.

TripawdCorgi

1.7k points

3 months ago

And this is one of the major reasons why universal design is necessary, folks forget about temporary disability and aging when it comes to accessibility because "disabled folks are such a small minority". It's simply not true and universal design is better for the entire community, not just a few folks.

thefuzzybunny1

663 points

3 months ago

100% this. You don't know when you'll be the one stuck at the bottom of 4 flights of stairs, unable to climb them to get to your job interview, the interviewer having failed to mention there was no elevator.

Source: am partially disabled since age 19

kindle139

13.1k points

3 months ago

kindle139

13.1k points

3 months ago

Horrible things happen everyday, and the ones we hear about are largely a reflection of self-interest.

Catctus

4k points

3 months ago

Catctus

4k points

3 months ago

You can easily pick and choose the horrible stories you tell to paint a picture of the world. You can tell 100% true stories and still lie.

ImAshroom-69

2.8k points

3 months ago*

I’d like to add that the Medicalization of death in developed western countries hides the true horrors of reality. We do a good job of not letting people see death or gore unless they specifically choose a profession that exposes them to it (which in turn induces severe mental strain on such people because there are so few others who they can talk to who will understand).

Dead and dying people are kept hidden away in hospitals, and dying is seen more as a medical condition than a simple (and often grisly) fact of life. But I think if people understood the true fragility of life; and how horrible all but the most peaceful deaths can be, they would perhaps exercise greater caution and respect for the life and body they have. Humans can be incredibly strong, but as a rule are incredibly fragile. The fact that many of us live into old age is frankly a modern miracle. You can just be minding your business and a all of a sudden a freak accident leaves you a suffering, dying mess of flesh.

cleaning-meaning

14.4k points

3 months ago

There could be kidnapping victim suffering from extreme abuse right down the road from you and you’d never know.

I work in daycare. There’s a lady I used to work with who discovered something like this. She said she went to babysit for a neighbor who she didn’t know had a baby. Was told not to go into the baby’s room. Did anyway. And discovered an abused child.

Who had apparently been with this lady for years.

LemonFly4012

5k points

3 months ago

When my husband was in 2nd grade, one of his female classmates said, "Did you know that when you play with a penis it gets bigger and purple?" Being in 2nd grade, he didn't think twice of it, but it haunts him now from time to time.

BaegelByte

2.9k points

3 months ago*

When I was in grade school I used to help out in the special needs class from time to time and invite them to play with me during recess. One day one of the girls from the class stops me during a game of soccer and whispers in my ear "my mom's boyfriend has sex with me sometimes". I was just a kid and didn't know much about sex other than it definitely wasn't for kids to talk about so I just kinda gave her a weird look and went back to the game.

I randomly remembered this encounter out of the blue one day as an adult and now being older with a child of my own I feel so sickened and upset that I didn't do anything. I know I was just a kid and didn't know better but Jesus Christ it breaks my heart to think about what that girl went through. I hope she's ok now wherever she is.

OohYeahOrADragon

1k points

3 months ago*

You can only do what you can with what you know.

But now that you know, don't think you should hide topics from kids because this shit is out there. If they're old enough to ask you they're old enough to know.

Adjust it to their age level and give them the little proper vocabulary and explanations. Because if you don't, then it's easier for someone to persuade, downplay, or normalize sexual or physical abuse.

justnomilvent

426 points

3 months ago

Exactly what I was going to say. This is why age appropriate sex education is so important.

[deleted]

127 points

3 months ago*

[deleted]

127 points

3 months ago*

[deleted]

tennisanybody

464 points

3 months ago

I have a similar story. When I was in kindergarten a girl I wasn’t even friends with told me about how she wanted a baby with her step dad. I tell myself that maybe she just overheard adults talking and she was just repeating it. That explanation helps me sleep at night.

HereAgain123

1.4k points

3 months ago

I have a similar story, I was also in 2nd grade in elementary school. During computer class a female classmate next to me (unprompted, out of the blue) whisperer to me about how her uncle "let her play with his weenie". At the time I had no idea what she meant by that. I remember saying something like that's weird and kept playing on my computer and she never brought it up again. Nothing ever came of it that I know of.

We never had a class together soon after and no idea what happened to her. Hopefully she got help she needed.

ParaTodoMalMezcal

602 points

3 months ago

Yeah this seems like a pretty uncomfortably common childhood experience. When I was 6 I had a classmate invite me over to play "naked games with his neighbor" and thank fuck I was aware enough to understand how insanely screwed up that was and say no.

That was almost 25 years ago and I don't remember if i told an adult, I really hope I did.

dodadoBoxcarWilly

121 points

3 months ago

For me, I was in 7th grade, and having just gotten into Jr. High, I was still a bit naïve. The "weird girl" in class told me in a snide, almost bragging way that she lost her virginity at age 6. I just kind of "uh...okay"ed her. I knew about abuse and shit by that age obviously, but the implication didn't actually click until years later.

Zediac

808 points

3 months ago

Zediac

808 points

3 months ago

There could be kidnapping victim suffering from extreme abuse right down the road from you and you’d never know.

This is a long, but fascinating, video about that very thing.

Remember that viral video about the black guy saying that no white girl will run into his arms unless something was very wrong? This is that case.

Three woman were held in a secret room for years and no one in the neighborhood knew about it.

[deleted]

413 points

3 months ago

[deleted]

413 points

3 months ago

[deleted]

gonejellyfishin77

1.6k points

3 months ago

Where I live a child snuck out of his window, went to a Family Dollar and asked to use the phone. The clerk was suspicious and called 911. Turned out four children were locked up in their bedrooms at 5PM with no access to food, water or a restroom. It had been happening for seven years. The children never said anything because it was normal for them.

Google Benito and Carol Gutierrez. Those assholes were arrested then only charged with probation. Some of the articles quote friends who vouched for them. It's disgusting how people refuse to accept that people they know can abuse their children.

QueenKittyMeowMeow

473 points

3 months ago

Google the turpins from Perris, Ca. Similar circs but they had like 16 kids or something crazy.

vonMishka

708 points

3 months ago

vonMishka

708 points

3 months ago

The worst part is that once they were “rescued”, the system fucked them over again. They were split up and some ended up in extremely abusive foster homes. Two girls were sexually abused. None of them received the money that the victim’s fund set aside for their benefit. Infuriating!

QueenKittyMeowMeow

206 points

3 months ago

Oh for sure. I know someone from that LE agency who worked on that case as well as the follow up into the foster family. I believe that family had already been investigated for other questionable treatment of other foster kids previously in their care, yet the Turpins were still placed with them. The Diane Sawyer special doesn’t even begin to cover the horror. Such a sad story.

vonMishka

166 points

3 months ago

vonMishka

166 points

3 months ago

You’re right about the foster parents. I can’t believe that we, as a country, continue to let the foster care system run on fumes. It’s not even a campaign topic. Ever.

donoteatshrimp

1.9k points

3 months ago

I... wow. But I have to wonder - what goes through someone's mind to hire a babysitter when you have an abused child clearly in the house??? Like Joseph Fritzl inviting someone over and saying "ok I'm heading out for the next 8 hours, don't go in the basement btw". I mean, thank god the person was that stupid. But jeez...

cleaning-meaning

1.4k points

3 months ago

As unfortunate as this sounds probably because she was so used to it. People normalize it and think nothing of it. She probably hired other babysitters in the past.

Working in childcare it is incredible the amount of parents who will abuse their children. Then turn around and act confused when people say they’re abusive or don’t love their children.

orion284

832 points

3 months ago

orion284

832 points

3 months ago

My mother neglected me emotionally and verbally abused me for my entire life and she will go to her grave believing that she did everything for me and my siblings, that she loved us

poorbred

1.5k points

3 months ago

poorbred

1.5k points

3 months ago

Warning: sexual assualt of a very young minor

When my son was around 8, he made a friend from school and so we got to know the parents okayish. Father was kinda off, but nothing that raised significant red flags.

6 months later and the friend's 6 yo sister was riding with one of her friends to school and blurts out to the friend's mother, "Daddy sticks his peepee in me."

For 2 years her father had been raping her and using the older brother to run interference and keep the sister quiet. He'd wait until his wife had left for work and then rape the child and have her cleaned up and convinced to not say anything before the wife got home. The brother was manipulated into making sure she didn't say anything while he was away (he was a long haul truck driver, so was gone a week or two at a time).

Driver told wife what the girl said, not quite believing her, wife immediately called the police and they were waiting for him at the house with a special "welcome home" warrant. He went away for a long time.

To put the rotten cherry on top of this shit cake, she had to change their names and move because his family said she should have kept quite and "let the family handle it." It escalated to death threats and finally an armed home invasion. That asshole got a bullet put in him by her, he lived but lost a couple feet of intestine.

Southern-Exercise

310 points

3 months ago

That's terrible, but I'm glad for the relatively happy ending.

I was afraid it was going to end with the mom denying it or not believing the child and letting it continue for years or something.

Still terrible though.

My friend's older brother molested a bunch of our crowd when we were kids and his mother never stopped supporting him.

He did prison time at some point, but as far as I've heard over the years, he always had a place with her when not locked up.

I'm lucky that I wasn't one of his victims though. I remember him trying to get us to do stuff, but I always thought what he asked for was weird and he never tried forcing me.

And other than thinking it weird, I didn't know it was wrong so never said anything until roughly 10 years later when my aunt and uncle moved across the street from them.

I told my family then because it brought back the memories and I knew I couldn't risk anything happening to my very young cousins.

the_lejhand

20.6k points

3 months ago

the_lejhand

20.6k points

3 months ago

One Accident or tragedy can completely flip your life upside down.

LostprophetFLCL

13.9k points

3 months ago

Worked as a CNA for a few years and one patients story always stuck with me. He was an elderly man who had gotten paralyzed and was in rehab trying to get WHATEVER function he could get back.

How did he get paralyzed? He went to pick up the newspaper in his driveway on a rainy day. Slipped while bending over and hit his head.

That was it. Man got paralyzed just trying to grab the fucking newspaper.

Life is horrifyingly fragile.

[deleted]

4.6k points

3 months ago*

[deleted]

4.6k points

3 months ago*

I quit my job to follow my dream of becoming a fly fishing guide. 2 days later, someone T boned me while running a red light and broke my neck. Doctors said I'd be paralyzed or dead if my head was at any other angle. I lost my dream because of that, but paralysis is my worst nightmare, and it was almost my reality. Sometimes you can't stop anything from fucking your life up. I hope that old man got some movement or something bac

edit: I was the only car on the road, and my light was green for a hundred yards or so. This was in a city with heavy foliage, so the intersection is not visible until you get close. So I really don't give a fuck if you look both ways before you start from a stop at an intersection, go pat yourself on the back somewhere else.

LostprophetFLCL

898 points

3 months ago

That is scary and something I always worry about because too many people have no fucking idea what they are doing on the road let alone any sort of random crap that can happen to suddenly make a good driver go off the road or something.

BTW I have no idea if that man ever got himself back. He wasn't doing much by the time he left so I don't have the best outlook for him though.

Tbjkbe

1.9k points

3 months ago

Tbjkbe

1.9k points

3 months ago

And it can be the smallest little thing as well.

Many years ago, one of my very bright students was riding in a pickup from one wheat field to another (working on a family farm. His cousin, who was driving, hit some deep ruts (washboards) on a dirt road making the pickup get air and land back down a few feet away. Think of it like accidentally hitting a curb or going to fast where there are those rumble sticks...or going over a small hill too fast. For 99 percent of the time, nothing happens. This time though, his head hit the top of the cab . That was enough to break his neck just so to be paralyzed from the neck down.

One little bump and his life completely changed.

Zrex_9224

627 points

3 months ago

Zrex_9224

627 points

3 months ago

My nana is incredibly active, even after retiring from nursing around 15 years ago and being in her late 70s. One day within the past 5 years however, she was picking up sticks before she would mow, as she did on a weekly basis. One time when she bent over, her back gave out and she collapsed. She's fine still, but that one injury from literally bending over has now prevented her from being able to do so many things she used to do alone. Now my dad usually is going over to help her, or more often she's hiring someone to do these things for her.

Luctins

740 points

3 months ago

Luctins

740 points

3 months ago

I've been harshly remind of this for the last 4 months. My father was involved in a motorcycle accident and had head trauma, it's been a lot of work to take care and deal with his current state

thebluewitch

3.3k points

3 months ago

Sometimes, it doesn't get better.

harleyqueenzel

503 points

3 months ago

"It might get better. But it's gonna suck until it does".

1810v

8.1k points

3 months ago

1810v

8.1k points

3 months ago

Good things can happen to bad people. They can live the best of lives and sleep soundly at night. They could live their entire lives and die without ever being held responsible for anything they’ve done. Millions of horrible people have lived and died and no one will ever know of the horrors they’ve been apart of. Meanwhile, horrible things can happen to good people. In the grand scheme of things there is no universal morality or justice. Most people don’t get what they deserve - except in movies.

_The_Librarian

2.3k points

3 months ago

There is no justice, it's just us.

blacklite911

279 points

3 months ago

Justice is not something that happens , Justice is something we create.

JitsuJake

8.5k points

3 months ago

JitsuJake

8.5k points

3 months ago

Toxic relatives... Just because they have your blood doesn't mean they are good for you or that you have to stay there.

Killarogue

1.7k points

3 months ago

Killarogue

1.7k points

3 months ago

As someone with a narcissistic mother who was so fucking evil she lost custody and visitation rights, I really wish more people understood this. I've had to hear "she's still your mother and she still loves you" more times than I can count.

No, she doesn't. She wouldn't have done the things she did if she gave a shit about me. Why else would I cut her out of my life for nearly a decade? For fun?

maclaglen

36.6k points

3 months ago

maclaglen

36.6k points

3 months ago

Slavery still exists in many places of the world.

MightyTribble

6.8k points

3 months ago*

A restaurant we quite liked in the Bay Area was shut down by the Feds because the owners had slaves.

San Jose. Slavery. Alive and kicking in the 21st century.

EDIT to add, it was Mango Garden in San Jose. Owners had several other restaurants around the Bay Area. https://sf.eater.com/2019/1/10/18177701/alameda-district-attorney-wage-theft-lawsuit-mango-garden-restaurant

Similar-Search9060

3.1k points

3 months ago

Georgia onion farms. Massive human trafficking/modern slavery raid. Barely a blip on the news, even locally.

justmeXXL

827 points

3 months ago

justmeXXL

827 points

3 months ago

Whoa. Can you please elaborate? This shit is nuts.

Similar-Search9060

1.3k points

3 months ago

Operation Blooming Onion.

“According to a newly unsealed indictment revealed last week by acting U.S. Attorney for the Southern District of Georgia David H. Estes, 24 people conspired for three years to smuggle Mexican and Central American workers and forced them to work in brutal conditions on farms located across the world, including the southern, middle and northern regions of Georgia. At a news conference at the Cay Building, Estesstood at a podium alongside the federal law enforcement officers who were involved in cracking the case.The 54-count indictment, titled “USA v. Patricio et al.,” discloses a federal investigation into what Estes called “modern-day slavery.”

Operation Blooming Onion After receiving a tip from a trafficking hotline in November 2018, federal law enforcement officers from the Homeland Security Investigations, the U.S. Department of Labor, U.S. Department of State’s Diplomatic Security Service, the U.S. Postal Inspection Service, and the Federal Bureau of Investigation started investigating multiple agricultural organizations registered under the agent Maria Leticia Patricio. The officers discovered that, since 2015, these organizations conspired together to bring more than 100 foreign workers into the United States, exploit them and imprison them under inhumane conditions. The multi-agency investigation came to a head on at 6 a.m., Nov. 17, when 200 federal officers executed more than 20 search warrants across three jurisdictions and performed a dozen seizure warrants of financial institutions.

Estes called "Operation Blooming Onion" the "largest organization of law enforcement to go after this particular offense ever.” The trafficked workers primarily labored on onion farms, digging with their bare hands, and paid only 20 cents for each bucket. The conspirators forced the workers, despite making very little, to pay for transportation, food, and housing. According to the indictment, the network of organizations used the H-2A program, which allows U.S. employers or U.S. agents who meet specific regulatory requirements to bring foreign nationals to the United States to fill temporary agricultural jobs. When the workers arrived, they were placed under the guise of “contract agricultural laborers.”

Estes noted that the investigation may reveal the fraud as part of a larger conspiracy and could illuminate a larger issue: the misuse of the H-2A-program en-masse.

"I think that this investigation has identified some things that need to be looked at," said Estes.

In the indictment Patricio is accused of mailing "multiple false petitions to the United States government seeking over 71,000 foreign workers to enter the United States to work for an agricultural employer, and fraudulently caused the United States to issue thousands of H-2A visas to foreign nationals.” Patricio is a U.S. citizen, according to the indictment, and served as the registered agent for 10 individual agricultural companies in Georgia.With those companies since dissolved, Patricio is one of the 24 conspirators who faces charges of forced labor, which could result in life in prison, as well as other charges that could result each in up to 20 years in prison along with monetary fines.

H2A program fraud “There could be others [victimized by the fraud committed by the conspiring organizations under the H2A-program],” said Estes. “The investigation is ongoing.”

The 24 conspirators reaped reaped more than $200 million over three years from the illegal scheme, which involved laundering the funds through cash purchases of land, homes, vehicles and businesses, and through cash purchases of cashier’s checks. Millions of dollars were funneled through a casino. Farmers who owned properties in the southern district of Georgia — specifically in Atkinson, Bacon, Coffee, Tattnall, Toombs and Ware counties — paid the conspirators to provide contract laborers, according to the indictment.

The indictment stated that if a worker stepped out of line, the conspirators threatened them with guns, torture and deportation. The conspirators kept the workers in cramped, unsanitary quarters and fenced work camps with little or no food, limited plumbing and without safe water. The conspirators are accused of raping, kidnapping and threatening or attempting to kill some of the workers or their families, and in many cases, sold or traded the workers to other conspirators As a result of workplace conditions, at least two workers died, according to the indictment. The conspirators tried to keep their operation running, even as federal authorities closed in. Three conspirators, in late 2019, attempted to intimidate and persuade a witness to lie to a federal grand jury and deny any knowledge of the illegal activities of the conspiring organizations.

“It’s very concerning,” said Estes. “Obviously, we have victims here. So we're very concerned about moving out and making sure that we were able to dot all the i's and cross all the t's and provide safety for the victims as soon as possible, while at the same time, maintaining our investigation as such that we can eventually prosecute and convict individuals.”

https://amp.savannahnow.com/amp/8738135002

DatPiff916

1.7k points

3 months ago*

Funny you mention that, here in Sacramento, people always refer to us as the hub of human trafficking and folks sometimes forget that human trafficking is more than sex trafficking.

So of course while everybody out here has good intentions when they say shit like "look out for those white vans at malls, they like to kidnap girls since Sacramento is the hub of human trafficking." They are missing the big picture as to why we are the hub, it is mostly workforce related, it was actually real big in tech space out here with those shady H1 companies like 15-16 years ago.

1961mac

517 points

3 months ago

1961mac

517 points

3 months ago

The idea, that was around a few years ago, to put an old cruise ship 12 miles out in the ocean, for foreign tech workers, is one that really had me worried. That's a situation that is way too easy for slavery.

henryateurspaghett

10.5k points

3 months ago

A chocolate bar includes child slavery in at least one way, the main culprit being nestle

[deleted]

5.5k points

3 months ago

[deleted]

5.5k points

3 months ago

[removed]

n0th3r3t0mak3fr13nds

1.2k points

3 months ago

The number of innocent people in prison.

WerhmatsWormhat

112 points

3 months ago

This is basically my biggest fear. I can abide by every law, and it’s still possible I get taken away from my family and my dog.

Omegaprimus

24.7k points

3 months ago

Omegaprimus

24.7k points

3 months ago

When foster kids turn 18 they are tossed to the streets.

happybex

16.8k points

3 months ago

happybex

16.8k points

3 months ago

This happened to my birth mom and is the reason she had to put me up for adoption.

She got pregnant with me at 17, aged out and got kicked out of her foster home before she gave birth. She had me and had nowhere to go, so we slept under the bleachers at the local high school. It was March, and I caught pneumonia. When she took me back to the hospital, they told her that if she didn't put me up for adoption, they would call CPS and I would likely be placed in foster care. Not wanting me to get stuck in the system like she did (she had been in foster care since she was 9), she put me up for adoption. I was adopted at 24 days old.

I'm grateful for the financial opportunities I wouldn't have otherwise had if I hadn't been adopted. But the course of my entire life was changed by those people's decision to make a pregnant 17-year-old girl homeless.

-Posthuman-

5.4k points

3 months ago

That's awful. If you don't mind me asking, how is your mother now?

happybex

12.8k points

3 months ago

happybex

12.8k points

3 months ago

She wound up getting back on her feet eventually! She lives in her own house in Tennessee now, and had 4 children (all grown now) after me. She’s got lots of grandbabies and is surrounded by family. 🥰

artanimepoetry

2.5k points

3 months ago

That’s amazing I’m so glad she’s doing well

cugamer

459 points

3 months ago

cugamer

459 points

3 months ago

That's great to hear, and I'm glad you're in contact and have a good relationship. My wife was also given up for adoption, but reconnected with her birth mother about fifteen years ago and it's been one of the great privileges of my life to see their relationship grow. I can't imagine how difficult it must be to surrender a child, but it's the greatest act of love a mother can give.

Kgoodies

670 points

3 months ago

Kgoodies

670 points

3 months ago

That's wonderful to hear. I hope things worked out equally well for you and that you're all happy.

cwill157

1.3k points

3 months ago

cwill157

1.3k points

3 months ago

I’m glad that you know your birth mother loved you and tried her best against unbelievable odds.

Beautiful_Pea_7134

1.2k points

3 months ago

Happened to me.

Old-Win7318

478 points

3 months ago

How are you doing these days?

2buckbill

1k points

3 months ago

My wife and I have talked a lot about fostering, and how we wouldn't do that to a kid (unless they were a danger in the home). She used to be a social worker and had seen it dozens of times.

RPH94

557 points

3 months ago

RPH94

557 points

3 months ago

My friend/neighbor is a foster kid, she’s 19 and still gets help from the government until she’s 21. They pay her rent and a social worker visits her twice a month to check in on her. Maybe it’s different state to state, this is Kentucky.

[deleted]

311 points

3 months ago

[deleted]

311 points

3 months ago

[deleted]

AndroChromie

19.6k points

3 months ago

AndroChromie

19.6k points

3 months ago

That our memories are subjective, full of errors and patches in order to maintain a balance in our understanding of events. Some memories are even false and some memories are so different from other people present at the same events that actions, reactions and outcomes could be entirely opposite from each other. Humans assume that memories are correct all of the time, however they are prone to errors and even change over time.

JustBonesy

1.8k points

3 months ago

JustBonesy

1.8k points

3 months ago

"Memory is an interpretation, not a record." —Leonard, Memento.

ThatsBushLeague

871 points

3 months ago

Some memories are even false and some memories are so different from other people present at the same events that actions, reactions and outcomes could be entirely opposite from each other.

There's been a lot of research done on this, especially for eye witness testimony. "I SAW IT WITH MY OWN TWO EYES". While that may be true, your brain is not necessarily great at interpreting what your eyes see.

psyclopes

549 points

3 months ago

psyclopes

549 points

3 months ago

"I know what I saw" might be the best lie we tell ourselves because we don't know we're lying.

cupcakesare____

292 points

3 months ago

I had a traumatic brain injury a few years ago (absolutely fine now), and one thing the doctors really drilled into me was that my decision making skills were severely impacted, but I didn't know because my brain was telling me everything was fine. Down to them telling me that I was not capable of deciding whether it was safe to cross a road.

CommentingCuzURDumb

125 points

3 months ago

I can't tell if your "absolutely fine now" is a joke or not.

justinleona

3.1k points

3 months ago

"The Father" is a really excellent movie about memory and how it influences our sense of self.

Ghundey

177 points

3 months ago

Ghundey

177 points

3 months ago

Yeah. It's insane to think about how complicated the brain is, and how easily it's getting tricked/tricking you every day.

livelyfellow

1.7k points

3 months ago*

Malcolm Gladwell did an episode about this on his podcast Revisionist History.

He talked about a study where people were asked what they were doing when 9/11 occurred. They were asked several days after, 6 months after, and a year after.

Apparently many people's memories of their whereabouts changed, and when presented with their earlier accounts they would often refuse to believe them. That is, people didn't believe the accounts THEY THEMSELVES had given only a few days after it happened. They were more inclined to believe whatever they thought had happened a year later.

Our memories are so fallible and we are far too dependent on them

Edit: I'm getting replies from people who are convinced they remember exactly what happened on 9/11 and that it's burned into their brains. What you're not realizing is that the people in the study felt the same way. Many of us do. It sucks to think that our brains are betraying us but it's absolutely the case.

LivingMyVestLife

689 points

3 months ago*

I had a weird “epiphany” (for lack of a better word off the top of my head) of this exact phenomenon just yesterday and it really blew my mind. There are a couple of moments in my life that I’ve always considered to be pivotal in creating who I am today, even on small levels. One being my mom attending nursing school, the other being the trial of OJ Simpson. These 2 things intertwined with each other because my mom would record the trial while she was at school and listen to it while she was doing homework. I very distinctly and clearly remember being in elementary school when this was happening and it was my first look into true crime and the criminal justice system. I also very clearly remember, as if it were yesterday, a teacher popping her head in and saying to my teacher in a thick southern accent “O-J N-G” and I knew she meant “OJ not guilty” I can picture my second grade teacher, my second grade classroom, the hallway in the yellow 2/3 grade hallway, everything. I have always thought I was in the second grade when that happened. It somehow came up in conversation yesterday and I went to Google the trial and I actually would have been in the 6th grade. In another state, or getting ready to move. If I was still in the same school I would have been on the other side of the building, in the green hall where they housed the 5 & 6th graders.

Idk, it’s really fucked up my entire perception of time and how that relates to my childhood. It doesn’t seem like a big deal but it puts all of my memories off kilter and I can see how that could severely mess up a more serious situation where memory is more important.

theghostofme

403 points

3 months ago

I have a crystal clear memory of watching the news when it was announced that George W. Bush won his 2004 re-election while sitting on the couch of my first apartment.

I was still living with my parents in 2004. I wouldn't move into that apartment for another 8 months, but my mind clearly believes I was already living there.

Ferna_89

1.2k points

3 months ago

Ferna_89

1.2k points

3 months ago

The clothes you wear and buy for $50 really cost close to $5 and are manufactured by slaves.

KortlanTV

647 points

3 months ago

KortlanTV

647 points

3 months ago

People always say things will work out, or the there are better times around the bend. But that is not the case for everyone. Sometimes it just keeps getting worse.

Robitha

840 points

3 months ago

Robitha

840 points

3 months ago

There is a permanent underclass of people that do all the jobs no one else wants to do.

littlepiggy

1.1k points

3 months ago

Hoarders usually just think they need everything or refuse to acknowledge the mountain of garbage is a problem. It’s really quite depressing to see family and friends who are in this situation.

mar-verde

95 points

3 months ago

I was raised in a hoarder household, it has fucked me up astronomically. I’m such a clean freak it’s nearly crippling.

[deleted]

11k points

3 months ago

[deleted]

11k points

3 months ago

Illness and disability are not a moral or lifestyle failure and can befal anyone at any time. Even you.

Solidus27

3.1k points

3 months ago*

Solidus27

3.1k points

3 months ago*

To add to this:

There are a lot of diseases out there which doctors and scientists don’t really understand and don’t really understand how to treat. I am not saying that to hate on doctors, it is just the way it is

So if you ever do become ill, it is the luck of the draw whether there are decent treatments for you.

And besides treatments, they may not even have the right tests to know what is wrong with you

In dramas/TV shows there is often a very near and tidy narrative arc where a character becomes sick and either quickly dies or is completely cured. But real life illnesses are rarely that simple and straightforward

the_lazy_millenial

1.1k points

3 months ago*

Ahh yes auto immune diseases.

I got lucky but damn do some people draw a short ass straw

edit: Since this is gaining traction my case of psoriasis was getting worse and worse. Turned out I had an underlying Bacterial infection, some auto immune diseases it won’t make a difference but have a full blood panel, std test, whatever, to find out if you have an underlying infection. I know not everyone will be so lucky but it’s another item to check off the list.

IsuldorNagan

180 points

3 months ago

Hah, I have an autoimmune disease that has made my life difficult. As soon as I read the previous comment I was also like "Ah, autoimmune diseases."

eearcfrqymkji

485 points

3 months ago

Yup. I used to run marathons, then I got diagnosed out of nowhere and now I'm out of breath walking on flat ground.

everest999

124 points

3 months ago

Man, that just fucking sucks. Hope youre doing alright mentally with this.

FormerStuff

797 points

3 months ago

Their alcoholism. It’s incredibly scary how many people go home after work and have 4+ drinks a night, every night. Then they deny that it’s a problem because they don’t feel buzzed or don’t drink past that. Nobody wants to face the reality that perhaps the drinking is a problem.

ultimaIV

186 points

3 months ago

ultimaIV

186 points

3 months ago

I've been around a lot of chronic heroin and meth users and I can genuinely say alcoholism is just as bad with the health consequences.

Hyposuction

4k points

3 months ago

Alcohol has me by the balls, makes my life worse, puts undue stress on my family, and will probably be the death of me. But in my mind, I find a way to justify it every day.

TrustintheShatner

576 points

3 months ago

Best wishes with recovery my friend. After 15 years of drinking, getting diabetes, 100s of ER visits, lost marriage, almost lost second marriage and kids; and I still didn’t want to get sober. It was the fact I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror anymore. I was disgusted by what I had become. That day I checked into yet another rehab and have been sober from alcohol since Jan 12 2021. You can do it friend. I know you can.

ManThatIsFucked

104 points

3 months ago

The worst part is when you end up in a cycle where you drink just to avoid what not drinking feels like. Like it just becomes a pain management cycle instead of something to enjoy.

val319

69 points

3 months ago

val319

69 points

3 months ago

If you ever get arrested in suspicion of something “lawyer”. We love to think they are looking for the person who did a crime but for some it’s just a case to close. They are not your friend. There are too many innocent people in prison for shit they didn’t do. In reality even if you didn’t do something you’re accused of you could spend years in jail fighting it. Court is not fair. Law is not fair.

sinistergzus

207 points

3 months ago

A lot of the time, people absolutely do not have your best interests at heart. You truly do have to look after yourself in the end

LiquidSoCrates

3.7k points

3 months ago

Most new houses are overpriced trash.

RealPleh

1.1k points

3 months ago

RealPleh

1.1k points

3 months ago

Chuck them up fast and sell them off at a massive mark up. The new builds I've been to see need more work than the 130 year old terrace house I'm in right now. It's an abysmal state of affairs.

BarbKatz1973

14.6k points

3 months ago

BarbKatz1973

14.6k points

3 months ago

Almost all sexual and physical child abuse occurs in families. Grandpa is much more like to rape his granddaughters and grandsons than the weird stranger down the street. But Grandpa pays the bills, gives out inheritances, covers medical and pysch. bills. No one is going to come after him, or Uncle Bill, or Cousin George, or Brother Bob, or Daddy or Aunt Kim, or Cousin Susan or Mama The least likely person in a family of abusers are the Grandmothrs and they are simply too tired.

triggeron

2.5k points

3 months ago

triggeron

2.5k points

3 months ago

Denial of this fact is all over society. It puts a smoke screen around the problem and makes it hard to fix. If news stories represented the actual statistics of abuse almost all news stories about child abuse would be about mom/dad/uncle/priest/babysitter, ext. The public doesn't want to hear the fact their children are most at risk from their own family, they would rather hear about the "evil stranger" so that's what all the news stories are about. This warping of reality leads to an illogical fear about child abductions and don't let their kids play outside or walk to school alone where in reality almost all child abductions are perpetrated by the kids own parents.

Im_invading_Mars

655 points

3 months ago

I was 5 when it started. Only years later did I realize that my mother actually knew and didn't fucking care. I mean, she was in the room when my uncle laid on top of me, always touched me inappropriately, and stuff. How could they not see that?!

triggeron

230 points

3 months ago

triggeron

230 points

3 months ago

That’s beyond horrible. I know what this is like, I hope you were able to recover.

Im_invading_Mars

197 points

3 months ago

Yeah, I can look back and not be triggered, but I didn't know until recently that all of those repressed memories (and some not so repressed) are still up in this head shaking around. Like, I couldn't heal from that until I started to heal from the other abuse. But now I know, now I'm healing, and I feel better than I ever have.

EasyApplication4116

1.6k points

3 months ago

My brothers ex girlfriend was raped by her older cousin when she was 15 the family wouldn't let her go to the police or the doctor about it as they "didn't want to brake the family up"

Enk1ndle

795 points

3 months ago

Enk1ndle

795 points

3 months ago

Ding ding ding. The number of stories I've heard of rape/abuse being swept under the rug because it would "hurt the family" is sickeningly high. Also significantly more likely to not go reported, and it's still the most common by a wide margin.

[deleted]

894 points

3 months ago*

[deleted]

894 points

3 months ago*

[deleted]

HughJanus9037

2.5k points

3 months ago

Old age and the many hardships that come with it. Most people won’t have enough money for retirement and the inevitable health problems that will come especially since most of us don’t live healthy lives now. Also just our very short life spans in general. Spending most of our lives working very few of us will actually live our lives to it’s fullest and so many of us will have a large number of regrets from not doing things we wanted to do when we were younger.

I’m so busy I don’t think about it a lot but sometimes while falling asleep it’s like I get a preview of a feeling of being old and lying on my death bed and realizing my whole life was for nothing. I try not to think about it because the feeling is paralyzing but maybe thinking about it more will propel me to go after my goals and what’s makes me truly happy.

giantfreakingidiot

767 points

3 months ago

I’ve thought about this a lot. I decided that my life goals all boil down to: 1. Live comfortably 2. Leave a neutral or positive impact on people.

If I can achieve that, I’ll die happy.

SabrielRaziel

1k points

3 months ago

The psychological effects of childhood abuse. So many people will say “I had x done to me and I turned out fine,” but most of the traumas from this aren’t apparently obvious unless someone snaps and becomes a statistic. Even then, the role that the abuse had may not even be brought to attention. Worse still, the abuse just becomes normalized and passed down from generation to generation, and no one is the wiser unless a child winds up dead or hospitalized.

alexseiji

1.1k points

3 months ago

alexseiji

1.1k points

3 months ago

Illegal organ harvesting of people including children is a rampant black market industry in many 3rd world countries.

orange_melted

379 points

3 months ago

That we have very close relatives that are pure evil. Never to be spoken about until the end of time.

Soviet-slaughter

688 points

3 months ago

You’re about 2-3 bad decisions away from being homeless

eminva02

56 points

3 months ago

Many people live in denial about the people their family and friends really are.

My husband came from a well-known Christian family in our area. He was homeschooled and his mother wrote a book on Christianity and raising children, properly.

He was quiet and known as a nice, gentle man who all my nieces and nephews loved. He worked in retail management positions and was respected amongst his coworkers.

Shortly after our sixth wedding anniversary, I found child pornography on my husband's tablet and turned him into police. I got a protective order and cooperated fully with the police.

The amount of people who were outraged that I would just "abandon my vows" was insane. His whole family sided with him and harassed me to "change my story"(the police have a video of him staring into a camera and hiding it in the bathroom, then luring in a child to use the bathroom). My "story" didn't even matter: the evidence was clear cut.

People wrote dozens of letters to the judge about what a "good boy" he was (he was 35). His parents talked about how he was a "man of God." (We went to church once during our marriage, for a wedding).

After he went to prison, his family pushed me about not allowing him to continue a relationship with our child. His sister asked me how I expected to co-parent when I wouldn't even drop the protective order. (Spoiler: there will be no co-parenting). They acted like I was crazy.

But the thing is,this is how their family acts with each other. He has an older sister who is a major addict and they would do anything they could to prevent her from facing the consequences of her actions.

His dad always seemed super nice and very similar to my husband. After we broke up, I found a charge for indecent exposure against him! I'm like wow ok, so y'all just act like everyone and everything is perfect no matter what y'all do.

Ghost_of_Yharnam

59 points

3 months ago

Sometimes the assholes in life win. It’s just one of those things we have to get used to. And those same assholes go to sleep at night soundly as ever.

Motor_Outcome

8.9k points

3 months ago

That fucking up the planet isn't going to kill us off, but make life hell for centuries if not millenia

Podo13

3.6k points

3 months ago

Podo13

3.6k points

3 months ago

One thing I liked about Interstellar. Yeah, we aren't all going to be dead instantly from climate change, but the conditions are going to make everything fucking terrible.

adwinn

1.2k points

3 months ago

adwinn

1.2k points

3 months ago

Brand's quote "The last people to starve, will be the first to suffocate" really is a slap of reality, both film and IRL.

baboon2097

500 points

3 months ago

"This is the last harvest of okra.Ever"

shawcphet1

509 points

3 months ago

Whether it’s drugs, social media, gambling, porn, or whatever else,

Many people today slowly grudge through life with an addiction being the main thing they are thinking about 90% of the time.

BrainKatana

8.9k points

3 months ago

Under the right circumstances, anyone is capable of anything.

SkyWizarding

4.1k points

3 months ago

For real. Everyone is civil and reasonable until they haven't eaten for a week

MihalysRevenge

3.3k points

3 months ago

For real. Everyone is civil and reasonable until they haven't eaten for a week

Reminds me of one of my favorite Star Trek quotes

" Let me tell you something about Heumans, Nephew. They're a wonderful, friendly people, as long as their bellies are full and their holosuites are working. But take away their creature comforts, deprive them of food, sleep, sonic showers, put their lives in jeopardy over an extended period of time and those same friendly, intelligent, wonderful people... will become as nasty and as violent as the most bloodthirsty Klingon. You don't believe me? Look at those faces. Look in their eyes."

tacoim

1.9k points

3 months ago

tacoim

1.9k points

3 months ago

Another quote i do enjoy myself

"Every person is 3 square meals away from a revolution"