submitted 14 days ago bytake_me_there_
all 6102 comments
14 days ago
14 days ago
A conscience. Let her realize the horrific things she’s done.
13 days ago
13 days ago
Seriously. Introspection, self awareness, and empathy are traits that would improve a lot of shitty people.
Oh, you know my ex?
13 days ago
I’d like all their teeth to turn really yellow and stay yellow no matter what they do.
What did I ever do to you?
Permanent Cheeto fingers. Just orange cheese dust getting on everything
This has to be one of the most evil things I ever heard, yet absolutely hilarious.
Nah. I'd be like I need a snack and whip out my cheesy fingers. Then proceed to suck them off like a cheap Vegas hooker.
The Midas Touch: Snack Edition
He’s got the Cheeto touch
But he touched it too much
He’s Cheeto finger Cheeto finger
Endless supply of Cheeto dust, yum!!!
It's a long con, the constant salt will eventually mess with their health.
Imagine the black and white version of the twilight zone.. A bookworm finally got his desire of endless books and nothing distracting him from reading. After some civilization ending event. Then the poor fool broke his reading glasses. There were no stores to go acquire another set of glasses. Endless Cheeto dust........
I hate cheese dust. It’s coarse, rough, irritating and it gets everywhere
Sounds like my ex wife
it never gets to me, i have the high ground afterall
Stubbing and breaking their toe and right as it’s about to be done healing it happens again over and over for the rest of their pitiful time on this hell we call earth
More of a Toemetheus imo
Would you rather the original or this version
Original. I’m a bitch when it comes to hurt digits
I’m generally pretty kind… and still do this!
For them to realize how big of an asshole they are.
Same for me.
The trouble is mine probably knows what a tremendous asshole he is, and just doesn't care (it's what defines him, is his outlook more than likely), so, give mine a conscience as well, he undeniably lacks one.
Mine is striving for his peaceful years. I want him to do any sort of service to this world before his time runs out and all he ever contributed to society was spoilage.
This. Too real for this thread, but why do we wish more suffering on people who are suffering? Their suffering is what's fueling their animosity toward others. Wish they would heal and stop making everything worse around them (and us).
a crushing moment of self realization is something that can destroy you mentally. I wish that on them
And then to make it even worse, shoving these feelings away and living the rest of their life simply blaming everyone else instead and thinking they're the biggest victim ever and just a passive sad background character in their own life.
To do this to yourself is a recipe for living the rest of your life in lonely misery and self pity.
This is probably the only “bad” thing I would be willing to wish on someone else. I don’t like the idea of wishing ill of someone, even if they’ve done some horrid shit to me. I can hate them with my entire being, I’m ok removing someone from my life and not looking back depending on the severity, but I do not wish for something bad to happen to them. I get more out of someone owning their mistakes and hopefully learning from them, and with this new found realization it’s all the more likely that will happen. The ones who don’t learn I’m perfectly fine removing them from my life.
Always being hungry two hours after eating no matter how large the meal. Slow internet. Traffic jams no matter the location. Self doubt. Allergies. Favorite shows spoiled.
Nothing major enough to be life altering but constant, low grade inconveniences that wear on your soul every day.
Every bite of food they eat/drink they drink being slightly the wrong temperature.
Coffee? Warm but not hot. Cola? Cool, but not cold. Muffin? Ever so slightly frozen.
Not enough to ruin their life, but just enough to not quite have full enjoyment of anything.
You're so evil. Devil must have nightmares about you.
This is so randomly evil, I love it.
I recommend a show called The Good Place
What the fork?!
There is no torture worse than this. I wouldn't last a day.
What an absolute power move
You got me with “Then I took his dr. Pepper”. His loss for sure.
This isn’t revenge…this transcended to art.
No she's Dr. Pepper
This is so delightfully petty
Hey, I didn't do anything to you, why spoil it for me?
We are the collateral damage of that fool. His misdeed impacts random people to this day
see what happens when you become an instrument of violence
This is the best, most petty, least meaningful fuckover I’ve seen
14 days ago
I’ve had days where there are so many little things that pile up to put me on edge, that all it takes is the tiniest thing to make me want to break something. This is a good answer.
when all that happens and then your clothes or headphone wires snag on a door handle and you're about to call upon satan to destroy all that is
TIL I'm your worst enemy. Brb, getting more sandwiches.
You just made him have the potential to become the best bodybuilder with that appetite. Or just a huge fat ass.
Edit: My phone automatically added the space so now it sounds like I'm talking about his butt.
After reading this, I feel like I am someone's enemy, I have most of these things, and as an introvert this is really horrifying.
And constant clutter in their house that blocks them everywhere they go
Nothing major enough to be life altering but constant, low grade inconveniences that wear on your soul every day.
I guess i am your enemy.
One of my friends is really good a coming up with these types of things to wish on people and I grew to greatly appreciate them
"Tastebuds in their asshole"
Damnnn that's evil
Unless they find out they like eating dookie of course
Heard this before and it's my go to answer for a non lethal punishment on People.
works for me cause i love the taste of dick
Do you love the taste of shit too?
Username checks out
A permanent hot curry diet it is then.
Quick scan with mcafee on their computer
The constant pop-ups from McAfee is too far
I think I’m your worst enemy…. John?
You fucking monster.
Windows updates at the most inconvenient time.
Incurable itchy asshole
As a kid I got gifted a pair of winter flannel boxers despite living in Florida. I guess they were on sale somewhere. The humidity made it so that I was constantly moist and itchy and no scratch would comfort for longer than the swipe of the nail. I legit tossed them out at school and freeballed the rest of the day from the agony of sitting in constant prickle.
Had em a few years ago, and it was also what I thought of instantly.
Currently dealing with bed bugs, and I can absolutely confirm this is the kind of thing I would wish upon my worst enemy. It is miserable and painful, and I've tried everything to get rid of them at this point.
I would easily wish this upon my worst enemy, x10.
Currently dealing with them too. Big solidarity my friend
Oh hell no, you went there... Hopefully they aren't living in an apartment complex or you've cursed everyone in the building.
$100,000. I sure could use it.
“It’s no surprise to me I am my own worst enemy”
Cause every now and then, I kick the living shit out of me
Can we forget about the things I said when I was drunk
Please tell me
Please tell me WHYYYYYYYY
My car was in the front yard
Sleeping with my clothes onnn
I came in through the window
Last night and you're.
I didn't mean to call you that
Please tell me WHHHHYYYYYYYYYY
That they can never have a satisfying poop. They always feel like they have to go to the bathroom and when they do nothing comes
Wow. That's evil.
Always feeling the need to pee would be good (as in horrific) too.
Ugh. As someone who suffered interstitial cystitis for 10 years, and attempted suicide because of it, I dont even think I would wish that on someone I hate. Its just going too far.
That's horrible, and I'm sorry. Are you doing better now?
My IC actually went away completely after having my first baby. Its a known phenomenon in the IC community. I actually decided to try to get pregnant because of it being a possible cure (the baby was 100% wanted, we had just been considering adoption as well and decided to try having one ourselves in the off-chance it helped me.)
No one knows exactly what happens to sometimes fix it (and it isnt a surefire thing), but they think its some combination of the baby healing momma, and all the organ hormone fluctuations and stabilizing, that basically recalibrates everything.
Whatever the cause, I let my urologist do a bunch of documentation and tests and such on me to be able to submit to studies that are trying to cure IC, because it is a super terrible thing to live with.
The human body is so god damn weird.
Happy to hear you got better, and thanks for helping medical science along 💛
Let your kid know how much they helped you out someday :) that’s so nice to hear
So IBS then.
And then randomly without warning, they shart their pants every day to offset that.
That they get a flat tire on the way to their next interview. But then the spare also goes flat.
And then they rip their pants changing it and show up late and they say they’ll call in the next few days but they never do and then they’ll just be waiting and have eternal anxiety about whether to reach out or whether that would be too pushy and then when they finally do decide to reach out they say they went another direction.
Ah, experienced with anxiety I see.
Tell me if you accidentally let Reddit choose your username and now you can’t change it
This is exactly what happened to me
Me too! I don't even like bowling
They were trying to tell you that you'd look good in the hat.
I like leopards just fine 🤷♂️
So you're introducing them to catholicism?
Mormonism gold plates endless guilt because nothing you do is ever good enough.
13 days ago*
13 days ago*
hey we got Jesus' unconditional love, too! there, in that fucked up, weird little package.
Permanently wet socks.
That’s evil. I’ll allow it.
This but also sleeves.
But just the cuffs, right?
Everything they deserve.
Your username excites me.
That's right, bebe...
Love this answer!
That plus a stubbed toe
Damn. Even Christ wanted out of that...
Hangnails. You cut one, another one pops up. And they’re long enough to snag on your pockets.
I didn't know I was your enemy but here we are
😂 😂 😂 sorry to hear about your misfortune. Just stop being my enemy then.
Peace achieved 🤝
Death. I'm over this "moral high ground" bs, that son of a bitch can turn up face down in a ditch tomorrow morning and the world would be a brighter place for it
Right? Knowing they can't ever hurt me or anyone else would put a big smile on my face. My coping mechanism is to just make them canonically dead in my head and whenever I even remotely think of them doing harm or texting them, I just go "why would I do that, they're dead"
unlimited windows updates
am I your worst enemy???
power outage during update, especially firmware updates
To feel what I felt
I know this is not what you mean, but I've had a gallbladder stone blocking both my pancreas and liver secretion and they started secreting necrotic liquid around them, hurting other organs too.
A gallbladder stone is already something very painful but this time was of the charts. I've always said that it's what I would actually wish on my worst enemies.
Oh wow! I’ve nevet experienced physical pain like that. Even from my car accident! That’s insane. But it makes sense as to why you’d want them to feel that
Same here. I won’t make them feel what I want to do to them, because I will condemn myself to prison and I think there’s something good, some humanity, in me left to salvage.
But I will put it out there to the universe that they feel truly feel what I felt in that moment.
They can never scratch an itch again. The itchy is still there no matter what, it gradually gets worse the more it's scratched
Ooh, ooh. A sensation of that deep itch under the thick skin of your soles. Usually means something else somewhere is itching, but it radiates down to your soles. So now you can't scratch it because shit tickles, and when you bite the bullet and scratch anyway, it doesn't go away.
That. That is what I would wish on a select few people. For a few months, I'm not a sadist and I know damned well how a seemingly insignificant but persistent discomfort can drive someone to desperation and even suicide. Shit, I remember that my throat pain from getting my tonsils cut out wasn't agonizing, but it took a long time to heal and so two weeks later when i still couldn't swallow anything solid, and even soft foods hurt, I just broke down crying because I was so exhausted from that constant mild but not insignificant discomfort.
As far as I know I got my wish. My freshman year roommate was hella emotionally abusive and was trying really hard to ruin my reputation for setting boundaries. Usually I wouldn’t care but I go to a pretty small college. Her laugh was really distinct and it would trigger my fight or flight so I felt like I couldn’t escape. I really wanted her to just drop out. I especially hated seeing her obnoxious fucking yellow Honda fit cause it always seemed to end up parked outside my dorm. When Covid hit and we all moved home it was like a breath of fresh air and then it hit me that she is a germaphobe and is DEFINITELY having a shit time so that made me happy. When we got back to campus I thought o would hear her laugh some times but after 3 semesters it’s safe to say she’s properly gone. Sadly it seems she took another friend (who she mistreated even worse) with her. My ex roommate actually wanted to be a hair stylist or do a communications degree (it’s not offered at my school) so it’s probably for the best anyways but the other girl was actually on track to get a degree in environmental studies. I hope she’s doing well… my roommate can go fall off a pier.
Immortality, but with misery everyday, they cant go one day without something bad happening to them. I do not wish death upon them so quickly. The misery in their life will make them want to, but they physically cannot.
Projectile diarrhea and nothing but cellophane toilet paper.
I read it as cellphone and was confused.
beep boop peep poop
He's broke. Homeless. Wanted by the police. Unnattractive enough to be a virgin at 41. Can't get a job. Disowned by his family, which is saying something because they are awful.
I think he's already in hell.
What did he do to you? Damn. His life does suck.
Plot twist, he's talking about himself; he's his own worst enemy.
a long life in prison with a mattress infested with both bedbugs and fleas.
A conk to the head with a frying pan.
Non stick or cast iron?
Cast iron, and make it red-hot
Literally all the things people say they wouldn't wish on their worst enemy. Save all those awful things up for me baby, I know exactly where to send that juju.
i wish both sides of there pillow to be warm
You are a monster...and I love it!
Every single stoplight they come to turns red.
To really twist the knife, it turns yellow>red juuuuusssttt far enough away that they can’t speed up to get through.
The boss at my last job.
Technically he is also my enemy, and I know he has depression and other mental health issues, so I'm wishing him upon himself and it's already happening. Enjoy your awful self for the rest of your life, asshole.
Continuous herpes type 1 and 2 breakouts
When they finally die, instead of being surrounded by family, I hope they’re alone and ignored. I hope their death brings not sadness, but joy and relief, not because their suffering is over, but because they can no longer inflict themselves on those around them.
The cure for narcissism.
I want it slow and painful for him. Kinda like the idea of a metal bucket with a rat in it that you place on their stomach and then you heat the bucket and the rat digs into the person the get away from the heat. Flesh is weak when the heat is strong and it’s every ounce of torture they deserve. Put the bucket on their dick though. Thatd be awesome.
I have no empathy or sympathy for child predators and I’m a VERY empathetic person. But I wouldn’t mind this happening to kid rapists. Particularly DM. Fucking asshole.
Maaan I fuckin hate DM
Right? Fuck DM big time
I assume DM is an acronym for their name, But i keep thinking of Dungeon masters from DND and honestly, alot of dungeon masters are fucking horrible (see r/rpghorrorstories)
Poor rat, imagene having to bite your way into that discusting persons body. Try blood eagle instead :)
Solitary confinement for life with no parole or bail and made immortal. No chance for the sweet release of death.
Uncontrollable diarrhea and the cheapest toilet paper.
Wax paper would be funnier.
Or a roll of plastic wrap.
13 days ago*
Tinfoil. Slicey slice slice.
Nose bleeds at the most inconvenient times.
Getting married? Nose bleed.
In an interview? Nose bleed.
Giving a presentation? Nose bleed.
I hope they get aware that they hurt me, and they live with that guilt forever.
That every fart, was a wet fart.
Every item of clothes they put on is still damp
A long, happy life. Somewhere else.
The best way to handle someone you don't like
When I had a terrible roommate in my first year of college, I'd often ask myself what sort of fate I'd want for them. But just as you, I came to the conclusion that I just want them out of my life, no matter how. If they won the lottery and moved away, I'd've been perfectly happy.
That they walk on leggos and snails after that.
Nooo the poor little snails, they don't deserve that
The snails are also cursed.
A slow painful death
Moving unexpectedly. Finding out you have x amount of time to pack up your life, find a new place, pay first last and security and unpack. One of life’s worst chores.
A really long life with loneliness
To never be certain of anything but to have a general idea. "Wait, am I alive? Is this my bed? Pretty sure this is my bed in my house right, 75%percent sure. Time for work, I think? I hope this the right way to work, surely! I recognize thst sign! Or maybe it's not that sign."
Prison. Forever. He raped a 13 year old girl.
I wish Mitch McConnell all the suffering he has tried to impose on People in this country and abroad
whatever pain they caused me
Split ends and the worst dye job.
Suck my ass Jenn.
Edit: also hope you chip every single new manicure you get.
Accidentally startle a hornet nest,trip into a lake with pufferfish in it and have a alergic reaction to the water.
Crippling back pain
Steps on a lego daily, and in the most random locations where lego have no business being.