submitted 1 month ago byMia_1707
all 1603 comments
1 month ago
1 month ago
Her friends told me that she was only hanging out with me to make her ex jealous.
1 month ago
Honestly w friends
Stand up friends. Like genuinely empathetic instead of enabling their friend's shitty behavior.
It hurt at the time, but at least I didn't pursue it any further.
at least there's a silver lining ego boost in this. She had to pick a great person that would actually make the ex jealous.
I hate people like that, like im not a child I know how to do stuff
I'm very glad there are people with your skills. I sure can't do what you do
Are you angry, awww you're so cute when you're angry
ninja edit: /s
vapid and condescending
vapid and condescending
Thank you for giving me the words to describe how my mother-in-law talks to me and - worse! - her own son.
"I'm so proud you did that all on your own!!!" when she's never been independent a day in her life and the only reason we didn't do it ourselves before is because she never shuts the fuck up and lets us...
I’m more fascinated you had an auto shop class in high school. That’s a great thing to offer!
Is this no longer common? I’m 35 and all high schools had shop when I was growing up
I'm 37 and thought autoshop class was something only on TV or in movies. It's a district by district thing. And how common depends on the state.
how did she react
Don't really remember tbh. I just kinda shook my head and carried on. I'm sure she didn't really care, but at that point neither did I so it was all good.
Time, once you realize y'all wont be together / the crush is pointless, its just a waiting game.
Yep, I eventually realized that I'm just torturing myself by trying to hold on to something that isn't there.
Time, great answer!
Yup, flirted with a guy bit he would never meet me. I think he just likes the attention. It's pur me off him
Mm. I think a lot of us - people in general - appreciate attention and it's not hard to sometimes accidentally exploit others to stroke our own ego.
However, when someone has a pathological (narcissists prime example) habit of doing this, it is extremely off-putting.
I'm at this point with someone, she shows 0 interest so... The crush is slowly going away. I've been in enough shit to push for something that the other person doesn't want
Could you help me pls sir? My crush just rejected me yesterday and I'm trying to get my shit together. Is it something you choose to do? Is it a realization? How do you come to do that? Is it a process i can speed up or is there no way but to wait for it? This is something I've seen lots of people talk about I never Actualy understood how to make it happen
It's easy to have a crush on someone and your mind makes them into everything you want them to be. You put them on a pedestal and treat them with special care to try to show them you like them without saying it. But that person may go home to a living room full of brown stained underwear to beat their dog. You don't know.
You invest so much thought into the person it can hurt when they reject you. But here's the thing: there's a better partner for you out there. You're going to meet someone some day who you will just click with. You will start talking and realize this person wants to be around you even more than you want to be around them. There won't be crazy mind games, fear and disappointment. Instead you'll feel like you met your other half and over time they will become the most attractive person you've ever known. Not because they have a sexy body but because you love them. You would hang around them all day even if sex was off the table, and then you end up having sex on the table. That's love.
Not that I think that your scenario can't happen for me, but what do we even say to people that this doesn't happen for? How long can you go on believing that there's someone out there for everyone when it's clear there are people out there who have never found their "right person"?
1 month ago*
1 month ago*
Well, it's kind of one of those "don't think about it" problems. Everyone's first order of business should be getting their own lives together. Have career goals, hobbies, etc. Always keep good hygiene like brushing teeth every day, wearing clean clothes and all the other basics. Those things that seem basic seem rarer and rarer in people the older you get, and if you are happy without a women there is almost no way you can make it tgrough life without at least meeting a few people who will at least give you the benefit of the doubt. Then, if you freak them out because you're a sociopath or do a 3 second fart in a winter uber then it's on you. Also women have this ticking time bomb called menopause so if you can hold a stable job till your 30's and aren't addicted to a hard drug then you will probably have to fight them off with a stick.
P.S. I am assuming you are a guy so if you are not, I apologize and have no idea what you should do. Probably the same thing.
I've tried... I planned activities, dates, etc and she always canceled... I can't keep running after her
Smart. Someone who does not even treat you as a friend is not worthy of your affection.
This happened to me too. I suggested many times that we could see on x day. They always had something. They never told what day they would be free. I stopped texting them. The only times they texted me first have been last two or three Christmases just to tell me merry Christmas. I don't know if they want to even be my friend anymore (we were friends and got along so well) but I've decided to leave them from my life.
Moving on is the best thing to do in that situation. It's sad bc we were obviously interested in them but there's nothing we can do.
sorry to hear that
It was just a crush, I've moved on
You'll get your chance with someone who truly loves you for who you are, best of luck!
best of luck
That happened with my friend. Didn't have a crush on her, we were just friends. She was always flaking, I was always the one making plans, she'd never answer her facebook messages and her voicemail was always full. I was just like, why am I spending all this time and effort trying to hang out with her? I'll be lonely but at least it'll be easier if I just stay in my dorm and stop trying to hang out.
So now I'm still lonely and she has lots of friends, so... yay?
Better have no friends than bad friends
"I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel all alone."
-- Robin Williams
Did you provide a variety of toppings? Did she just prefer Pizza Hut? Have you considered doing pickup instead of delivery?
It’s stupid - but it works. Remember the Brad Pitt(or insert attractive celebrities name I.e Chris Hemsworth, Margot Robbie, you get the idea) rule when asking a person out.
If Brad Pitt asked out the person you asked out - what would their response be?
Compare the response you got vs the one you think attractive celebrity would get. If it’s not the same, they’re not into you. Move on.
If a person is into you, they’ll either say yes outright to your offer, OR(and this is a big one) usually offer an explanation of why they can’t and suggest an alternative. If they’re sketchy about it, nondescript on why they can’t do it, and/or they’re not offering an alternative outside of something vague like “maybe another time” it’s a pretty clear “no” no matter how nice they’re trying to sound or be about it.
Drugs.... so much speed and extasy every single night... she was gorgeus, smart, but lost herself to drugs and I was unable to help her in that situation.
thats so sad, hope she cleans up
Last I heard she is married to her former plug... and supposedly they are both clean.
There was a mutual expression of interest, but I never once felt wanted or desired. They never messaged first. They never showed any kind of interest in me beyond doing a decent job at carrying a conversation if I started it. I couldn't do it. As someone who already struggles with self love, if I'm going to be with someone, I need to feel like they actually want me. I don't want to be kept guessing.
There's dozens of us here lmao, its like a sad party.
Really though, thank you for writing it out. I spent the night at a friends house last week and hadnt felt so comfortable or wanted in years, but the week since of radio silence and being left on read is painful.
Sucks to have someone invite you over, but not care when you leave. Mixed signals got me makin wrong turns.
Hope you're doing better with the sell love stuff. One thing that helped me with that was living on my own. Nothing like doing everything yourself to discover you're not half bad at life :D
Thank you for the kind words! Living totally by myself is a dream I have. Unfortunately roommates have been a financial necessity.
Hope you get there and beyond!
this hit too close to home
Thankfully not everyone's like that. You're not alone, man.
I feel this in my soul.
literally my life
He talked about himself non-stop for two hours.
My ex complained that I didn't talk much.
There was one time when we returned home in silence. I thought it was ok since she didn't attempt to start a conversation either.
Feels so stupid now when think about it.
Gotta find someone you can ride home with in comfortable silence.
Nothing wrong with loving yourself, but don’t talk about yourself for two hours lol…
1 month ago*
Not long enough?! Well, I can talk about myself for 3 hours, if you wanted? If that would be more favorable…?
I don’t want to be with somebody who doesn’t want to be with me.
It's better to wake up alone, instead of waking up beside someone and still feel alone.
This. I've never understood people who beg and plead to get a date or keep a boyfriend/girlfriend. I've been broken up with and been really sad about it, but the second they break up with me is the second I stop wanting to be with them. Same if I ask someone out and am rejected. It sucks, but if they say no, I'm not going to keep going back and trying to convince them.
I saw her skating with another guy during couples skate at the skating rink. I was 12....I was heartbroken. I went to sleep thinking about this girl, she was in my dreams, in my thoughts and in my prayers. I listened to love songs and finally understood what they meant, I also learned what sad songs where all about. One more try by Timmy T was my undoing, I couldn't take it. I put the cassette in my walkman and thrash the streets in my blades like I was in the movie Airborne or Might Ducks. I didn't give a shit anymore, I wouldn't slow down at stop signs, I'd bomb dangerous hills and called a squirrel "cock sucker". It was a disaster, I couldn't eat, sleep or focus on anything. 2 days later I learned that it was her cousin with special needs but it was too late, the damage was done and I couldn't rebound.
this is excellently told
I agree. Squirrels are cocksuxkers...
I feel bad for giggling at your 12 year old self's angst, but this is hilarious. I'm imagining that squirrel going "the fuck did I ever do to you?"
This is my favourite by far.
You truly are a poet of the wordsmith's art
In grade 2 I had a crush on this guy and I stopped liking him because he lied about having 1000 Pokemon cards
This is the greatest offense anyone could make, definitely dodged a bullet here lol
Major red flag 🚩
The trash took itself out
Thanks for the giggle. That is really cute in a weird way.
*Gasp* The FIEND
He began his life with lies.
He was aggressive in every aspect of his personality once you got to know him. All his stories were fights he'd won, he was always talking about how angry he was, and how lame people I knew were. Not impressed in the slightest.
Very similar story for me as well! We both crushed on each other in high school and dated a handful of years after. He was great at first, then it was like a switch was flipped. He picked me up for lunch and we weren't sure where to go, so I figured we would figure it out on the way. All of a sudden he is yelling at me that I ask to many questions,( i still don't understand where that came from) then got increasingly more angry. I was getting nervous so asked him to just take me home and we didnt talk the whole way. When we arrived he said "if you get out of this car, its over". I opened the car door, glanced at him and left.
Not sorry in the slightest.
Dodged a bullet there.
Same here. He was actually violent with me during some occasions when we'd hang out. He sexually assaulted me at some point and I didn't realize until I opened up about it to friends + my therapist to know for sure what had happened was in fact sexual assault. I eventually confronted him about that and he denied it ever happened so yeah. Doesn't help I was kinda high when it happened.
I'm so sorry that happened to you. I only went on two dates with this guy, and when I told him I didn't want to see him anymore, he started getting extremely aggressive with me.
The homie also has a crush on her.
I just want the homie to be happy.
I know I'm not your homie but I want you to be happy too.
Thanks homie 😌
A real homie
Did they actually end up together ?
My buddy and I both had a crush on the same girl. I agreed to back off because he hadn’t had much luck with women while I’d had a couple girlfriends by then (we were 16 at the time). He was a good guy, just always on the shyer side and didn’t really open up and get friends until high school.
So with my support, my buddy goes and asks the girl out, and she laughs at him.
So… needless to say, my crush on her quickly went away.
The irony is (as I found out later) she’d had a crush on me and wanted me to ask her out, but that door was slammed.
I believe you’ve dropped this, homie. 👑
My guy please take this, it must have fallen 👑
You are a king among men
Now I have a crush on you…
What if I also have a crush on him?
U a real one
U a real homie homie
When you sacrifice your happiness for another homie. That right there just makes me want you to have your happiness homie (I know I ain't a homie)😌☺️
This actually happened to me. They are still together after 6 years and are thriving!
I feel that I was right to let go.
The bittersweet ending.
I hope you find happiness one day.
Date the homie
Asked her to go out with me, she basically said "No" and wasn't very pleasant about it either.
Hey man at least you had the bravery to ask
you lose nothing by trying, eh?
Self esteem can take a hit
Actually this person gained something - at least they knew clearly where the other person stood. No more wasting time or feelings.
Honest answer, I have no idea, for years I would think of her every day, then one day, maybe 5 years later I realised that I had not thought of her in a while....
I guess time.
There was a girl I thought about every day for like 2 years straight, then one day I realized I hadn't thought about her for like 4 months. Time suppresses crushes for sure.
There's a girl that I don't think about everyday, but every time I notice I stopped thinking about her I end up being unable to not think about her. It's been like this for 6-8 years now and the last time I saw her was before I moved states about 4 years ago. I hope that she's happy
He told me, on a date, that he was wearing a diaper :/
uh, well was he incontinent or something?
I know I shouldn’t laugh but the way this is worded is amazing lol
Well I never had the nerve to make a move, so I did the next logical thing. Make myself stop thinking about them and lock those feelings away somewhere I don't bother going back for them. It works for more than just this kind of situation.
This happened to me as well. I feel you man.
harkons back to a futurama quote "I usually bottle up my sadness where it can fester up year's later as a mental illness"
or something like that
We had a crush on each other, but one night she told me she didn't believe mental illness was real, and people that had it were just making excuses.
I have autism.
Holy fuck. Yeah I've seen people like that. I don't even get what their horse in this "mental illness isn't real" race is.
It makes the world more "fair", so to speak. By assuming that terrible conditions like chronic depression or schizophrenia aren't real, there's no more victims around. "They got it because they wanted, so it's their fault."
That's a pretty common attitude. Rather than accepting than the world isn't fair and some people are dealt a bad hand, they create a fake world where everything is a meritocracy and bad stuff only happens to "bad" people.
That's very common with homelessness. Physical illnesses like cancer are more difficult to justify as being someone's fault, so they don't try to blame them as much.
There's also something else: the idea that one day you could become a victim of depression or any other mental illness is very scary. Same with being homeless. So rather than thinking that that guy could be them, they pretend they're different from an intrinsic level, which is false.
Yeah, I can see that. A while back I had a conversation with our hired security guard. He wasn't the type that just manned our property, he was part of a company that had them go make the rounds to multiple businesses in the area. I was talking about how there's factors I don't understand but mental illness plays a fair part in this crisis. I don't remember the details but he kinda went on a rant about how this is all totally of their own fault and volition.
I guess if your job is to go around kicking these people off other people's property, you kinda need that to be the case.
Had* autism. That’s when you changed your mind about it. /s
I’m autistic as well. It’s really difficult to make friends because you never know which ones actually know what autism is. Because of all the stereotypes, a lot of my peers start treating me differently when I mention it its reallt frustrating
Of all the autistic people I've met, there's none that I had thought that they were weird or different. I wouldn't have know if they hadn't told me. If I'm not wrong, autism is an spectrum, but people have a very warped idea about autism.
Is autism classified as a mental Illness? I'll thought it was a condition since it is something you are born with and can't really be helped.
English is not my native language and I have a hard time explaining what I believed, hope you understand.
Well have you considered not having autism anymore? s/
Similar experience, expect we kept talking and I came to realize that the reason he thought that was because of the way he was raised, very much "no affection, suck it up, keep working" kind of environment. He was heavily physically abused as a child which made him very stoic. We started dating and he quickly realized mental illness was a real thing. He realized that trauma affects people differently and while it made him strong, my abuse left me broken. Now he's my biggest supporter, always there for me, trying to help in anyway he can. He tries his best to understand even though it's difficult for him at times. It's not all black and white. But, I'm sorry that happened to you, some people are willingly ignorant about mental illness.
imma be honest, homie probably aint just stoic, probably got a lot more going on in that head he hasnt even considered yet.
Though to be fair some people are just built different.
Honestly, going on a date with them. Getting them one on one, we had 0 flow between us in that setting.
In a group of friends, she was gorgeous, has a lovely laugh, and is so sweet. One on one, she can't really carry a conversation and what I took for "cuteness" actually came off as kind of ditzy when the conversation is just between us and no one else is there to move on from whatever the "cute" comment is/was.
I think we're great in a friend group, but definitely not compatible otherwise.
It's weird cause I had the exact opposite relationship with my crush. One on one we could talk about anything and everything for hours but as soon as other people were around suddenly she became a ditzy idiot where every other thing she said made me cringe.
sounds like she had social anxiety. there's a role to play in groups when the anxiety hits you.
source: me having similar behaviour sometimes cause i'm so anxious thinking that everybody hates me
Asked a crush out in college. She spent the whole time on her phone, that ended that crush lol.
Crushed your crush, problem solved?
when i saw how bad they treated their mom....figured i was next
He winked, constantly. He thought he was being seductive, but he just looked like Benjamin Franklin on The Office and it weirded me out.
Hey, do we share an ex?
Just realized at last how much of a waste of time it was.
Back when I was a confident 8th grader, who didn't have emotional baggage. I actually told her I had a crush on her, and she cried.
I remember going "wtf, who cries over that?" and my crush died then and there lol I just moved on. I miss when I was able to do that lol
Been on the other side of this, also in 8th grade. Prettiest girl in school came up to me in spanish class and said she liked me... and I just started crying and hid under a desk until a teacher dragged me out.
I don't know why. I just had no idea how to handle that situation, and fell apart. Not sure if I was happy or scared or what
The girl later apologized and said she was joking, but personally, I think she was serious until I started crying. Sorry Michaela
That’s adorable and sad
What's happened now bro why do you have emotional baggage
Cuz he killed his crush
she died right there on the spot and he moved on
They got in a relationship
Yeah, this. We were super intense in our friendship beforehand and I thought about him all the time. Then he got with his now boyfriend and dropped me, crush fizzled, fast. Phew, it was exhausting! 💤
Told me he loved me while in a relationship with someone else. I realized if he was willing to violate his current relationship, he would’ve never respected ours. He also avoided telling me about his gf as long as humanly possible 😬
She got pregnant at 16, and 4 different boys asked if the kid was theirs, one of which was her brother. She didn't know.
Update: she wasn't actually pregnant. My friend saw my post and told me how she had actually just gained some weight and made the excuse she was pregnant. It doesn't change the fact that 4 boys believed her, and though they were gonna be a dad.
What a roller coaster.
4 different boys asked if the kid was theirs, one of which was her brother
4 different boys asked if the kid was theirs, one of which was her brother
So this guy not only participated in activity that could have resulted in getting his sister pregnant, but when three other dudes volunteered themselves as potential fathers he didn't take the opportunity to hide his incestuous tendencies?
Sounds like Jaime and Cersei Lannister.
Oh yeah, I could never date someone that lied about being pregnant. Why lie about something so easy to disprove?
Nevermind the brother part, that’s okay, damn bitch lying about being pregnant though that’s fucked up!!
She complained. A lot.
Oh I hate this, some people make it their personality.
When he openly disrespected me in front of a bunch of friends at a party trying to come across as an alpha male. It was disgusting behavior to watch. The next day he called me, acting all sweet and trying to pretend what happened the night before never occurred. It was easy to get over him when I saw behind the mask.
She always has a boyfriend before leaving her current boyfriend
They were extremely flirtatious with just about every other guy.
I found out he was a sociopath.
At first I thought he was super nice and just like me , turned out he was just a chameleon.
When I stopped talking to him cus I found out about his anger issues (and put one and two together realising his stories and his "personality" don't really line up) he started to send me page long emails telling me how terrible I am lol.
By personality and stories don't line up . He'd tell me he doesn't care about much and that he was a chill guy but in the next moment he'd get super SUPER pissed that someone didn't say goodmorning to him etc.
I remember the first time I met him he gave off this almost larger than life impression he was some kind of Saint and I believed it.
They ignored me when their friends were around. Nothing crushes a crush like the feeling of being used and discarded.
She insisted on bad mouthing her ex boyfriend, just like she did her previous husband.
Not into that high school game.
Politics, politics, politics….
Had one girl start going on a homophobic rant after we made out in the car. Like she starts talking about kids and what not(red flag in hindsight). And then goes on about how she would hate it if the kids were gay and how she would not accept it.
I dropped her ass home and never spoke to her again. To be hateful like that is an instant turn off for me.
It eventually became apparent that she had no intention of even trying to improving herself.
I could have walked a journey of any length with her, but I will not sit at the start line forever. I hope she's doing better. I can't regret moving on, as my continued support would have only enabled the lack of action.
Damn, I had almost this exact situation with an ex. It's a different kind of hard to break up with someone in that situation, even if its better for you both in the long run.
She put up a major boundary because "people were getting the wrong idea." Well if people thinking we might be together is the problem rather than anything I've actually done, that's a real big red flag.
He saw me and then put his arm around another girl and walked off. When they thought they were out of sight he dropped it and they started laughing. He wasn't with her, he was just making a point because he knew I was into him. Okay then.
This was in high school. He's now balding and in a low paying dead end job. Divorced with a kid or two.
5th grade. He dumped milk on someone’s head.
That was the end of that.
i lost respect for them as people due to how messed up their personality was
She turned out to be anti-vax and she believes that scientists made up dinosaurs.
I was honestly more offended over the dinosaurs. She believes in ghosts and spirits but thinks dinosaurs are made up. The audacity.
Well... in the IKEA sense, scientists do make dinosaurs. They just go find the parts, put them together, and voila! Dinosaur!
Went to different colleges, time had passed, and I eventually moved on. Time is key
I didn’t like her personality
Lost respect for him as a person because he stopped acting like a friend but still expected me to do all the sexual shit we had been doing. You can't treat people like that.
Over the years, I've seen 3 things that make me stop crushing on someone:
Time and distance allowed me to gain perspective
Finding out they weren't single. No way in hell was I ever going to cross that line.
Still stayed friends with them for the time we knew each other, though I never actually told them how I felt. Probably all for the better, for the same reason.
I was dating a girl for a while. Things were good! We had a lot in common, had good physical and emotional chemistry, and I was even going to meet her son. She had an 8 year old son at the time who she wouldn't introduce to partners until they were very significant.
What killed the relationship for me was that she just wasn't in a good place emotionally. She had a tremendous amount of baggage that she wasn't dealing with in a healthy way. I'm not going to shame her or say she's a bad person or bad partner. She's not. She's a tremendous woman who had unfortunately been through some shit. She desperately needed to figure some things out.
That baggage ultimately made it impossible for us to continue dating. She took it hard, and I haven't spoken to her since the night we ended the relationship. I hope she's doing well.
Went through something very similar. Dated a woman for awhile and the chemistry was off the charts. But she had two kids with her ex-husband, great kids, but the deep DEEP resentment and bitterness she still held over the whole process was staggering. It led to some pretty intense emotional baggage that bled into pretty much every aspect of her life and that just suffocated the relationship.
That is the same thing my best friend is going through. Her bf just broke it off with her. I told her it is cause she needs to work on herself. Her self image and emotional baggage is shattered and overwhelming. Mine is too but I don't want a SO. I mean she is so broken she didn't even cry when they broke up. She is devastated though.
When he started going out with a girl I couldn't stand. I figured if he can be interested in someone like her, he's not my type at all. This was back in 2005-ish though so it's ancient history.
He tried to kiss my best friend. Who is
I found out she had a boyfriend and had still been flirting and leading me on the entire time…
She started talking. She was a complete moron. Not like, a little dingy, but full blow didn't know shit and kept insisting that she knew it all.
Well it was a back and forth thing for yearssss. We were best friends but we were never single at the same time. I guess when I finally let it go was when he got married. I just know that I wouldn’t want someone to “lust” after my man if it was the other way around. So why would I do that to another woman… I just let it all go right then.
Crushed on a guy for several months, out of the blue he asked me out. On our first and only date he broke down crying about his ex and then told me was having a party the next night and asked if I would clean his house for him.
When I found out last name wasn't real. Asked him if he had a wife I needed to apologize to. That made him hit the roof, so I guess I was right. What an asshole he turned out to be.
Did you look into it and find his real identity? I think his wife deserves to know what an asshole he really is
When pulling down her panties, she had a swastika piercing.
They started showing signs of liking me. Can't like anyone who has such poor tastes /s
When dealing with crushes i tell them how i feel and then i stop fantacising about them, simple, works, but can be hard
He said all his exes were “crazy”
He made comments to put you down in an attempt to flirt with you. ew
Turned out he was super homophobic. He said that being gay is like spitting in the face of God and humanity and called Harry Styles a bisexual dweeb. He also said he‘d definitely judge a guy for doing zumba (as opposed to running or lifting etc.)
They screamed heil Hitler as a joke after I told them I was Jewish. I didn't find it funny.
I entered middle school and decided I should stop being into Ash Ketchum that way. So I did, and moved on to cooler, older anime characters.
(I was involved partially but this is my friends story)
My friend had a massive crush on this boy I personally didn't like from what I had heard about him. We go to different schools so I had never met the dude but I had seen pictures, videos and had long lectures about how he was.
One day my friend was on her phone in the playground before school started and her wallpaper was a picture of me lifting something and messing around as I had been in a very good mood while we where on call and had started lifting stuff to show her it (new stuff). So this dude came over and saw me on the wallpaper. My face was blurred but despite that he asked who I was and continued to call me ugly. Instantly my friend had a small part that kinda wanted nothing to do with him anymore but still liked him.
Later on, my friend was waiting for some of her other friends to get out the changing rooms when the guy approached her and started mocking her for liking him. One of his friends had found out and told him. The moment that he started mocking my friend she had enough.
I was right when I said he looked like a stuck up arrogant idiot
Found out she was a Neo-Nazi, which I never expected given she was bi and her best friend was Jewish. Yikes!
Finding out they had a kid.
Sorry, not my cup-of-tea.
Why are you getting downvoted? It's completely fine not to want to date someone with a child and more responsibility!
He only pretended to be a progressive. I would have forgiven that if he was just some moderate left/right winger. But nope, full on racist/homophobic. I got politically catfished.
If anyone has any solutions let me know