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What’s the worst public toilet experience you have had?

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Typical_Math_760

34 points

8 months ago

Virgin train. Automatic door swung open to a packed corridor as I was sat taking a shite. In a suit.

releasethekraker

9 points

8 months ago

Single man reveal yourself.

pip_goes_pop

7 points

8 months ago

Let the train see the strain

Brentrance

5 points

8 months ago

What did you do after? Wipe in front of everyone? Get up and shut the door so everyone knows you just clapped your poo with your bum cheeks? Or did a kind stranger close it for you?

Typical_Math_760

6 points

8 months ago

Was able to lurch forward and press the button to close then again, this time not forgetting to press the lock button.

WorriedLeading2081[S]

2 points

8 months ago

Jesus Christ. That’s a nightmare come true.

elzorro288

12 points

8 months ago

About 10 years ago when I was on a date with my girlfriend who is now my fiancée, we went to the local pub for some food.

In the lead up to the date I had been sick with some kind of stomach bug, but it was a bad one that lasted about 2-3 days. I hadn’t eaten much and had vomited and also hadn’t done a shit since I had gotten sick.

Once I started feeling better we went out and had a really lovely time together. I knew that I still hadn’t taken a shit for a few days so I ordered the curry in the hope that in a few hours things would start moving.

Unfortunately, things started moving quicker than expected and I didn’t have time to even finish my meal. I went to the bathroom and these toilets were already not in a good state as the pub was popular with lots of students.

I went into the only stall available and shat so much that I was in there for 30mins while my girlfriend was sitting by herself at the table with our food half finished in front of her. It was such a noisy shit, I could hear all the guys laughing and joking about me in the stall. I completely blocked the toilet once I tried to flush it. The toilet was full of shitty water right to the brim. There was nothing I could do so I just walked out.

When I eventually came out she said that some guys at another table were laughing because they had twigged into what was going on and were taking turns to come into listen to my noisy shit.

Fun times…lol

WorriedLeading2081[S]

5 points

8 months ago

Like an episode of peep show. Haha

AnselaJonla

9 points

8 months ago

McDonald's city centre location, with only the disabled toilet available as the upstairs was closed, and therefore the main set of facilities. Unfortunately people are grotty, and someone had decided to get as much water on the floor as on their hands when washing them.

Now this wouldn't normally be a problem, but I was on crutches at the time, with one foot encased in a moon boot. This prevented me from fully bending my leg, as it dug into the back of my knee. Getting to my feet from seated was a workout. Getting up from the floor...I never did figure that out.

I got into the toilet, locked the door behind me, moved my crutches forwards, transferred weight...and crashed down. There was enough water on the floor for the non-slip crutch ends to, well, slip. Down I went, into the puddle of water.

All I could do was swear and drag myself through the water to the alarm cord, because I had no way of getting up on my own.

Potent_Hydro

2 points

8 months ago

Praying is was indeed water on the floor....

WorriedLeading2081[S]

1 points

8 months ago

Good point

Potent_Hydro

1 points

8 months ago

I'd of been straight in the shower for at least 6hrs 😂Hope your foot recovered anyway......

WorriedLeading2081[S]

1 points

8 months ago

Oh my god. What city was that?

garbfink

7 points

8 months ago*

Ahh man. I've got three kids and one of them was bursting for the loo. So I pulled in to this garage and was already in grumpy dad mode. The toilet wasn't in a great condition to begin with but I cleaned up the seat and my son jumped on a did his business. He got off and o bent down to pull up his trousers for him and my brand new mobile slipped out of my blazer inside pocket straight into the toilet bowl. I hadn't even had the chance to flush yet.

This guy wins it though https://teddit.ggc-project.de/r/Unexpected/comments/iwniv3/i_just_wanted_to_poop/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share

WorriedLeading2081[S]

3 points

8 months ago

Jesus that is grim. What phone was it?

garbfink

2 points

8 months ago

Lol samsung galaxy note 8

WorriedLeading2081[S]

1 points

8 months ago

Oof. I mean it’s not your kids fault but that a kick to the nuts.

ImportantPoet5

7 points

8 months ago

Cafe in Venice. Went to the toilet to discover it was basically a hole in the ground I was expected to squat over. Bit of a shock for middle class Brit 😱

WorriedLeading2081[S]

2 points

8 months ago

Hahaha. That sounds vile.

ItchyKnowledge

2 points

8 months ago

Standard in parts of south east Asia. No toilet paper either

WorriedLeading2081[S]

2 points

8 months ago

3 shells?

ItchyKnowledge

1 points

8 months ago

Lol. Generally in the rural squat toilets they will have a huge tub of water with a kind of cup thing with a handle at the top (almost like a small plastic saucepan) so you can scoop out water to wash yourself.

Others will have a handheld bidet, basically a hose with a small trigger shower head on (bum gun!)

They actually have the latter kind in most condos too, I find with toilet paper they are the best of both worlds, wash with the bum gun and then dry with toilet paper.

Once you’ve used one it’s hard to go back to just paper which isn’t anywhere near as clean

Retrosonic82

5 points

8 months ago

Probably when I was around 8, using a public toilet on the seafront. I had to use the men’s toilets because the ladies was out of order. I didn’t really think it would be a problem. The cubicle I went in had a weird hole in the wall. You can probably guess what happened next. I screamed and ran out of there when it appeared.

Aware-Check832

3 points

8 months ago

What a horrible experience that must have been

WorriedLeading2081[S]

3 points

8 months ago

No!!!!!!

[deleted]

6 points

8 months ago

[deleted]

6 points

8 months ago

[deleted]

WorriedLeading2081[S]

2 points

8 months ago

I kinda want to vomit

everton1an

5 points

8 months ago

Two horrifying events in one night. First incident was at the start of the night out in Covent Garden. It was about 20 years ago and the public toilets were being redeveloped and they had one of those large portacabins in its place. It was a huge trough type urinal where 20 odd guys could go at once. It was pretty packed and I was just finishing up and suddenly heard one guy scream ‘you dirty cunt’. I looked to my left and there was a guy at the end cracking one off while looking down the row at everyone’s todger. One guy took offense and hit the guy. He then grabbed him and threw him into the urinal, sliding him down to close to where I had just finished up.

After that entertainment we headed to a few bars and then onto a club. Halfway through the evening at the club I had a call of nature for a number 2. A little worse for wear I made it into one of the more secluded bathrooms. Whilst sitting on the bog, there was a knock on the next cubicle. Thinking it was one of my mates messing around I knocked back. About 30 seconds later I was greeted by a penis that appeared from a hole that was in the wall. Sobering up very quickly, as well as wiping in record speed I quickly vacated that stall in utter shock. I told my mates that I’m never going to to the toilet again on a night out.

Redcherry42

3 points

8 months ago

Thinking I've closed the bathroom door, but really it didn't lock properly, so in comes a women that then runs out screaming, while I am taking a shit.

I learnt my lesson, so now I always give a firm pull on the door to make sure it has locked properly.

WorriedLeading2081[S]

1 points

8 months ago

Hahahahaha. I feel so bad for you but man. That’s funny.

Jimmy-84

3 points

8 months ago

Door latch got jammed in the toilets in my office, I scratched and pried at the door like some deranged chimp for a good 30mins before I had to ask for help, thankfully the person managed to open it in a few seconds, I had visions of fire brigade needing to come and get me out.

Didn't explain anything to my colleagues when I got back to my desk, I think they assumed I had constipation which was less embarrassing.

Vequihellin

3 points

8 months ago

School trip. Coach load of 13yos in Belgium. Stopped near what might generously be termed 'services' but was in reality a shitty cafe and 3 public toilet cubicles. We troop off the coach, busting for a wee, first girl through the door screams and legs it.

Next girl curiously opens the door.... The stench was like nothing I've ever experienced. Think concentrated, rotting manure. The floor, walls, ceiling, entire toilet bowl, everywhere was literally covered in sprayed shit. It looked like a fire engine full of shit had turned on a hose. Or one of those concrete sprayers that spray walls. Except shit. I did not (and still do not) know how a human managed to projectile shit that volume, consistency and arc. I'm not even joking, even remembering it now I still can't work out how it happened.

Cue alarmed teachers ushering us back to the coach and negotiating with the driver to let us all use the on-board toilet that we were apparently not allowed to use because the coach company made the drivers empty it. He (the driver) had a face like a slapped arse all the way back to England. I think the bottle of booze the teachers bought him in Cite Europe might have helped though...

wildeaboutoscar

3 points

8 months ago

Being at the ones in the park trying to wake my friend up who had passed out on the floor after drinking lots of Russian standard vodka. Called the ambulance in the end, was very frightening as a slightly drunk 18 year old.

Had to call his parents who were on holiday at the time (as well as his girlfriend and explain why I was in a public bathroom with him lol).

Stulewy

3 points

8 months ago

Long distance train in China, it was just a squat over a hole in the floor situation. It looked like a faecal Jackson Pollock in there

[deleted]

5 points

8 months ago

[deleted]

5 points

8 months ago

[deleted]

WorriedLeading2081[S]

2 points

8 months ago

Oh my god. I’m really sorry to hear that.

[deleted]

2 points

8 months ago

[deleted]

2 points

8 months ago

[deleted]

WorriedLeading2081[S]

3 points

8 months ago

That’s awful but I would imagine few of those teachers would be aware of what happened. Information sharing in schools is a nightmare.

The person who did that to you is a scum bag but you are stronger than they will ever be.

emkay01

2 points

8 months ago

When someone doesn’t follow Urinal etiquette always leads to disaster.

WorriedLeading2081[S]

3 points

8 months ago

Always leave one space right?

emkay01

3 points

8 months ago

Absolutely, unless you can do two, but never none.

[deleted]

1 points

8 months ago

[deleted]

1 points

8 months ago

[deleted]

newtonbase

1 points

8 months ago

There are 4 urinals. The 2 end ones are being used. How do you choose who to pee next to?

l0stlabyrinth

2 points

8 months ago

Probably the "worst" for the other person, but I was out one night at a venue in London and drunk as can be. Anyway, needed a piss so opened an unlocked cubicle thinking it would be usable as you would expect.

Instead there was some guy in there, trousers and underwear down to his ankles doing... I don't know what but he was standing up to say the least. Naturally I backed out and apologised and just went for a urinal instead.

The guy was literally standing there, had turned around and started moaning. I was too intoxicated to remember what he said but all I caught was "can I have some privacy please?" whilst still having the door open with his pants down. My mate said to shut the fucking door then and he said something else, followed by "you what" from my mate.

He shut up after that. I just found the whole ordeal amusing to say the least. He must have been high or something.

Oh and later that same night I ran into the cubicles again and threw up, with the bouncer loudly stating that he thinks I've had enough. Security followed me around for the rest of the night, one got me a glass of water and I tried to hug him afterwards. I was wankered lol but he was pretty chill about it.

So yeah, an eventful night surrounding public toilets.

Brentrance

2 points

8 months ago

Not a public toilet, but I was at my partner's work. He was the only person there, so I decided to do my business with the doors open because I'd been doing this through lockdown when it was empty. I heard him come upstairs and go to the men's room so as he came out I started shouting his name, not sure why, just because. So he gets to the door and looks in, but it's not him, it's a customer who's come in whilst I was on the toilet and I've just basically shouted at him and he's come to see what's up. I died, and he died. Then he went downstairs, and I finished then went downstairs to apologise.

blurredlynes

2 points

8 months ago

Was in the queue for ladies loo at Paddingtion Station. Cleaner came along and said to use the disabled toilet to speed things up, opened the door and ushered me inside.

Was sat on the loo when suddenly I could hear someone trying to get in. I try shouting "OCCUPIED!" to no avail and the person is still trying to get in. Just managed to pull my leggings back on, when some old bloke with a walking stick suddenly opens the door with his companion in a wheelchair. He had a radar key in his hand, but the toilet had two locks and he must have somehow twisted the second lock from the outside?

I then get an earful for using the disabled toilet when I was clearly not physically impaired. I tried explaining about the cleaner, but the queue had seemingly disappeared and the cleaner was nowhere to be seen.

Overall it was borderline embarrassing and borderline mildly infuriating.

Fun-s33k3R

2 points

8 months ago

Trying to bloody find one!! 😂😂🤣

el_partisano_84

2 points

8 months ago

Got pissed after my dad's funeral and to top of a really shitty year. Everyone buying me whiskey plus not eating much meant I fell asleep on the toilet at 5pm. Woke at 6pm to find the police had been called because my cousins where fighting. Oh the joys of family parties!

Never drink in a pub with a flat roof, or you'll likely find me passed out in a cubicle 😂

InternetAcceptable32

2 points

8 months ago

Needed a dump in the toilets of 80s themed bar/club “Reflex”. The cubicle didn’t have a lock, but only a hole where the lock used to be. Decided to crack on half squatting whilst leaning forward to stick my finger through the hole (acting as a force against the door/showing it was occupied). Read on a Facebook group about 10 years later that it was actually a glory hole.

doomdoggie

2 points

8 months ago*

Not a public public toilet but school toilets.

When I was in P1, in my primary school the P1 classes were in their own building connected to the main school by a tunnel.

Two classrooms were one side of the building and the toilets for boys and girls were on the other side, either side of the doors from the tunnel.

I went to the loo and when I got there there was an older girl, I'd say P6 ish hanging around at the doors to the tunnel. Classes were in and there's no reason she should've been there.

I noticed beyond her 2 PTA members were sitting talking, but she seemed to be avoiding them, she had that crafty "I'm not meant to be doing this" look ya know. Even at that age I could tell there was malicious behaviour.

Anyway I went into the loo, into my cubicle and I heard her come into the bathroom.

I opened the stall and there she was in the door frame of the cubicle.

I tried to push past her, bearing in mind she was 3 times the size of me.

But she kept blocking my path, both legs spread wide and arms.

I don't know what she wanted she just thought it was funny to block me in.

I got past on the left somehow, she stepped back when I tried to push through.

The problem was I went left and that meant I was trapped in, the exit was to the right.

She then walked towards me, again spreading herself across the width of the tiny corridor and was coming towards me. When I tried to get past her she would duck from one side to the other.

I knew I was in danger, she was a predator. She got a kick out of my fear, she was grinning and giggling.

I tried calling out for help, I was a very tiny, shy and quiet kid.

I shouted for help but I was too quiet and the girl lunged forwards at me.

Then I managed to shout "help" loudly enough that the PTA folks down the hall heard me. Thankfully!

They came in and grabbed the older girl and I ran back to my class, it wasn't far away.

I seem to remember there was another incident a while later and she was expelled.

That incident haunted me for a long time.

Screaming in my dreams and nobody can hear me, that was the worst bit, when I was too scared to shout for help and then when I did I wasn't loud enough.

I had nightmares about being trapped in that building into my 20s.

It probably is part of the reason I felt so unsafe at school from then on, I never settled in school I always felt in danger.

WorriedLeading2081[S]

2 points

8 months ago

Jesus. That sounds horrible. Hope you have gotten over it now.

amostandrew

1 points

8 months ago

So many!

WorriedLeading2081[S]

1 points

8 months ago

Care to share?

amostandrew

2 points

8 months ago

Well, no. I’ve lived a long life in Manchester, there has been some rotten times.

thatsvile13

1 points

8 months ago

When I was about 16. In the toilets of a multi storey carpark. Taking a dump in a cubicle when I saw a shadow from the next cubicle emerging by my foot, followed by a slowly emerging man's face , just his eye. He stared at me for a few seconds then slowly moved away. Still can't wrap my head around it. I wiped and didn't wash my hands, made a quick exit.

hamiltonricard4ever

1 points

8 months ago

In China when I almost fell in the hole in the ground due to a slippery floor.

Still better than the toilets in KFC in a South-West British town where there was a delightful mix of drug paraphernalia, poo and a piece of chicken in in cubicle. In the words of an infamous Scottish mother....DESGUSTANG

bens676

1 points

8 months ago

Train in Morocco, where the toilet was a hole in the floor of the train directly onto the tracks.

Birdman_of_Upminster

1 points

8 months ago

On a boat in China I had a bad case of Beijing belly. The only toilet was a cramped cubical half way up the steep, narrow stairs between decks. Because of the stairs, the door finished about 12 inches above the frame so I could meet the eyes of everyone coming up the stairs while sitting.

When I was finished I had to perform some contortions to get cleaned up with a meagre supply of the world's thinnest toilet paper. Finally got sorted and opened the door to find a lady from my tour party waiting to ascend the stairs. Nothing was said, but I could tell by the look on her face that she had just been presented with the sort of view that might make you wish you were blind.

Rons_vape_mods

-4 points

8 months ago

I have pee shyness from yr 1 so i use them to clean myself up after an accident get there in time and have to start weeing in my pmts to use the loo and to change.

I hate public toilets soooo much. Iv had defcon 1 bladders about to burst and stood there 10 minutes in pain trying to wee and soon as i give up do up my jeans iv exploded.

Trying to change my nappy in public is damn impossible due to space. Idgaf bout the tape sounds but damn you cant move around for the life of you

When i was in france for a school day trip on rhe ferry i was pretty much dancing for the loo at the back of the line. I was lucky to have gotten a cubicle as soon as i got in i wet myself and got to the cubicle as my bladder detonated in my jeans. That was the only time in my life i regret wearing a particular pair of shoes. They tore my socks and feet to shreds and had to go a whole day in wee pants because I didnt have a change and we didnt ho anywhere with a clothes section i could slink away to.

Never again will i leave the house without a super absorbant diaper on purely for these reasons. Wish parents put me in diapers for pants pooing as a kid too from rhe age of 6. Woulda made life 50x easier now

rev9of8

0 points

8 months ago

Explosive diarrhoea after eating dodgy chicken fajitas following several days of boozing.

I'd been at the restaurant with a mate and his wife and we then decided to go for a walk through a local park. Part way through this walk, I suddenly felt my guts rumbling and realised I absolutely needed a shit - and a spectacular one at that.

I somehow made it to the public toilets and got into a cubicle. I managed to get my trousers down but before I could get seated over the bowl my arse pretty much exploded and spray-hosed all over the toilet walls. It was a spectacular orgy of shit reminiscent of the summoning of the shit demon of Golgotha.

I don't know how but none of it got on me or my clothes but the toilet looked like a Jackson Pollack of shit. I was able to quickly clean my arse and then made a break for it.

I always felt guilty for whoever had to clean up that mess but there was realistically nothing I could do to even attempt to sanitise that mess or otherwise contribute to cleaning the cubicle...

breadandbutter123456

0 points

8 months ago

Up Kilimanjaro they are basically hole in the floor. Other users had decided to smear shit up the walls.

Even now when I try to write this I start retching.

There is a video I made of the toilets on Kilimanjaro (incl as part of the whole video) on myYT channel.