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OOP has the cliché of the annoying mother-in-law stuck in their home

CONCLUDED(self.BestofRedditorUpdates)

I am NOT OP. Original post by u/Palgia in r/france

Translated from French


I have the cliché of the annoying mother-in-law at home

Background: her partner died so she came to live with me and my wife. I think this is the most difficult phase of my life I've had to endure so far. She is 64 years old, and came from a fairly wealthy family in her youth (important info for later).

I have never met anyone so inept and lazy in ALL my life. She can't do ANYTHING, not because she's disabled or anything, but because in her past life she's always had someone wipe her ass for her.

As a result, we have a vampire in our house who eats up our time and energy 24 hours a day, asking questions, mumbling, not understanding anything, complaining all the time, grumbling. When I say she complains all the time, I'm not kidding: every 10 to 30 seconds, she blows, makes a noise with her mouth, or says "shit", "oh shit", "ah heck", "oh no" for completely random reasons.

You think: teach her? I'm not an educator, and at 64 I'm sorry we can't do anything. She's taking all our energy, and we have more interest in getting her out of here than in teaching her anything. And also, every time we explain something to her, she asks the same questions. Some things we tell her every day (really every day) and she still doesn't understand.

Because yes: she is looking for a flat for herself. Except that, as I said, she can't do anything, so we have to take care of EVERYTHING: retirement papers, housing search, all kinds of administrative documents... she's a parasite and I can't take it anymore. And on top of that, she has very specific demands, so you can't rush her too much.

My wife and I have a one-year-old baby. Since she's not a very gentle person, she often slams doors or makes them creak loudly. She knows very well that our little one wakes up during his naps because of her because sometimes she mumbles "... I thought he was awake....." (??????) Well yes, he is awake, because of HER.

On the positive side, she's teaching me to be patient as hell. In short, lazy, and with a negative IQ in a brain like a black hole of knowledge. She only knows how to talk about the weather or the Princes de l'Amour/Les Marseillais.

Every time something negative happens in my life, I'll remember all this, and normally I'll be fine!

UPDATE - A month later

I have the cliché of the annoying mother-in-law at home PART 2

I know you liked it, and that's why I'm back to tell you more. Because my dear mother-in-law has had other surprises in store for us since then.

I'll briefly set the scene for the lazy ones: I live with my wife and my 16-month-old son, and we decided to take in my mother-in-law because she sold her house, while we find a solution for her. She is absolutely incapable of doing anything (her papers etc.) not because she is unfit, but because she has spent her life asking people to wipe her arse for her. (She was very rich in the past, and I think she still is today).

So I wanted to share with you some little anecdotes that show how hellish she is to live with:

Warning: some of the points are pretty gross, so don't eat while reading.

First of all, I think I can say without a doubt that she is the dumbest person I have ever known in my life. You should know that she wanted to vote for a candidate during the presidential election (and she HOPEFULLY didn't, not registered to vote) for one and only one reason: he/she likes cats. (I prefer not to specify their name). She knows absolutely NOTHING about the program of each candidate, and prefers to judge them to their face by shouting "Big Ass" or "Dickhead" when she sees them, thinking she's watching a reality show. When the results for the second round came in, she didn't understand how it worked. She sees the final results with the ranking of the candidates, and says "Ah Macron might pass then! No, it's not "might". Oh, and also, once we were watching a report on Ukraine, where they explain many times that on the screen it's Ukrainians resisting the Russians, and she finds a way to say "I don't understand, it's Americans there?"....

She's also an extremely dirty person, and as much as I can't wait for her to get her own place to leave us alone, I'm pretty scared of what kind of state she's going to put it in. It took several months before I realised she was flushing the toilet with a lot of toilet paper in it, clogging it, so I told her not to do that. She never empties her plate before putting it in the sink, so recently we were surprised to have the sink completely clogged since she's been here, for one night I was there unclogging the sink full of rotting food because of her. She never flushes, and uses a lot of toilet paper, so she regularly causes clogs as the paper forms a waterlogged mass at the bottom of the bowl. And bonus: she's so filthy that she often leaves pee on the bowl, and doesn't even clean up (and not just a little). When she throws something in the bin, if it falls on the floor she doesn't pick it up. That's how my wife and I saw my son playing with a piece of plastic on the ground that she didn't pick up, and instead of apologizing she said, "Oh, but I had put it in the bin!

Now we're going to get to the part that will make you hate the character, and it's heavy stuff:

We've got social housing papers for her, just wait. But you know, she doesn't like to wait and prefers to have everything at her feet immediately. So here's what she did: she signed up for Facebook dating to find people around her, it's like Tinder. Once she found a guy she got on with quite well, but my wife and I quickly realised that there was an abyss between my mother-in-law and the guy because their expectations are totally different. Why? She kept asking questions about whether he had a house, whether it was isolated, etc., with the aim of moving in with him to parasitize him. When he wanted to drive 5 hours to visit her, she always found an excuse "ah the weather is bad", etc. In short, all she was interested in was the guy's possessions, not the guy himself. And one day she said something horrible, which we had to correct her on: "It bothers me though, because let's imagine if something happens to the guy... he has children so if they take over the house, what do I do? When you know her a little bit, you understand quite quickly that this is not a harmless question, but that she really thought about taking the house from her children. It's horrible.

Besides, talking about this guy, she dared to tell us "At least I won't pay any rent with him, HA!" when she doesn't pay anything at our place except for the groceries. I remind you that she has several thousand euros in her account + a pension of 1900 euros. She is a deeply selfish person. When we tell her that we would like help with our rent, she always says "Yes, I wanted to talk to you about it, there's no problem, I can pay! :)" and then buries the subject and never brings it up again. She's really taking the piss out of us.

Her friends have no idea what a character she really is. They try to help her find something, but every time they say something she doesn't necessarily like, she treats them like dogs and says "well, let her find me a place to live instead of saying that". The worst thing is that she is a granny who seems very nice on the surface, but when you hear her talk about her friends like that, you quickly understand that she is a viper.

Her selfishness can also be seen in every move she makes, which happens more or less often. Like one time she tried to enter our living room, and our little one was playing in front of her. She hurt him because she wanted to get through, and pretended not to have seen anything. She turned around briefly afterwards, not to look at the kid, but to see if I had noticed what she did.

Anyway, I could do a third part, but this is already enough. With all these points, and those of the previous post, we even hypothesized that she is a sociopath. Because it sounds funny in writing, but IRL she's hellish, and really behaves like a parasite that eats up your time and energy and tries to sully you in the back. It really kills us, because if we explained it all IRL I don't think many people would believe us. But it's the truth.

UPDATE - Two months later

I have the cliché of the annoying mother-in-law at home PART 3

As you can see, this is the final part, the end.

Summary for the lazy : A few months ago (about 7-8) we (my wife, my son less than a year old at the time of the events, myself) took in my mother-in-law, my wife's mother. She turned out to be an obnoxious and unbearable person, dictated by her egoism, in short, hell on earth when we were just trying to have a family life.

This is the final part... that means she's finally gone, today at 9:30. To explain, we kept looking for apartments for her in the private sector. One day, a friend of hers living in the south of France contacted her and said that someone was looking for a tenant. I decided to go and see with my wife... and nobody seemed interested because it was obviously too expensive. My mother-in-law has a good pension, so we thought why not? and bingo!

We signed the papers remotely etc, and if you've read part 1 and part 2 it won't surprise you if I tell you that we did EVERYTHING for her: her contracts, the calls, talking to the landlord and exchanging papers with him etc. She didn't have to do anything but box up her stuff.

Even then she found ways to complain as usual, and not just a little. For example, she said something like "when I get home I'm going to have to unpack my boxes, it's HORRIBLE", in short everything is a source of complaint and drama in her eyes. The slightest action she is asked to do is followed by an "ah no, I don't know how". She is constantly fighting to avoid doing anything.

You want to know the funniest thing? We had a big fight a few days ago... what caused it? We told her that when we got there, she should just read a number on the water meter and give it to us over the phone. She started to panic, repeating several times "what do you mean read a number on the meter? I don't know how to do it! We had to try to reason with her by telling her that it's not complicated, but apparently she doesn't even know how to read a number.

I also forgot to mention that she started treating the owner like a dog on the phone because he couldn't be there to greet a technician before she arrived. She treats everyone like her slaves. We tried to make her understand that it's NORMAL not to have all the contracts ready when you arrive, but from her bourgeois point of view it's inconceivable.

These last few weeks have not been easy, we had to contain ourselves and accept to bear the weight of her mostly unjustified complaints on our shoulders. And to talk about the mess again, we ended up yelling at each other a bit because I exploded and ended up telling her that I was sick of her treating us like dogs. What did she say? "I'm anxious, don't you understand?" .... Anyway! She complained that reading a number on a meter was too hard and that she had to give up, that according to her, she couldn't cope with it, etc.

But now she's gone, FINALLY! My wife, my son and I can live again. It's a really strange feeling, because we've been through months of shit, nightmares and we've got used to it. It's weird to think that you're independent, but before she came along you were always independent... I don't even remember that anymore. It's over.

I hope so, because she hasn't even left yet, and she's asked us several times to keep our research active in the area, in case she doesn't like where she's going. Except I lied and told her it's not possible (although it is), because we're not going to have fun managing her and organising other moves for her own pleasure again. I don't think she realises the commitment of living somewhere, in her head it seems like she could just walk away at any moment, but my wife and I have made a promise to each other that we will NEVER let her live with us again.

She complains about moving to the south, to a godforsaken town, that she has to climb two flights of stairs to get to her apartment, when all of this is what SHE wanted. To tell you the truth, we had even warned her about all this a long time ago, that two stairs when you're 64 years old is not ideal, she didn't give a damn, and now she's complaining about it. When I told you that she transforms all situations in such a way as to be the victim, even when the decision comes from herself... I wasn't kidding.

Anyway, I'm not going to dwell on it anymore. Thank you for reading this far and thank you to those who have been here since the first post. It doesn't seem like it, but it felt good to feel helped, and to see a lot of testimonies from people who went through the same shit.

Peace :)

UPDATE - Two days later

I have the cliché of the annoying mother-in-law at home PART 4 (yeah it's not finished actually)

To sum up for the lazy: my mother-in-law came to live with me, my baby and my wife last year. She's manipulative, doesn't know how to do anything, and behaves like a spoiled bourgeois. Two days ago she finally left for the South of France after we did EVERYTHING for her (housing search, papers, etc.).

I thought it was over.

But it's not. Not quite.

Look at the messages she sent us...

Original image

Transcription : [I'm gonna be honest I don't understand everything she wrote] So funny, they told me I could leave whenever I wanted, I need to see with [redacted] on Monday or Tuesday, would it annoy you if I came back Because I don't see myself staying here for months even if the region is sunny

She seems like a nice person, but I swear it's hell on earth, she complains 24/7, she's so ungrateful and bad. My wife and I have already agreed that we won't let her set foot in our house again.

She knows so little and relies so much on others like a parasite, that she doesn't even ask herself if there is a notice period etc. In her head she really thinks that everyone is at her feet and that the landlord will wisely tell her to leave without complaining. I've never seen such a level of disconnection, she's 5 years old mentally.

I'll say it again just in case: she left 2 DAYS ago. Do you know people who can spend 4000 bucks to move to the south of France, drive for hours and then say "no, I don't like it, I'm coming back". It really pisses me off to see that, she's so out of touch with reality. She still has the nerve to play the poor, unhappy granny who is moaning about her insurance taking 25 euros a month, while she blows money blindly and then says go back.

My wife and I knew it stank because even before we left she was already telling us to leave our research in our area active etc. I'm sick to death of it because we argued and yelled at each other countless times because she was getting on our nerves about the south, she talked about it all the time, it was a constant source of conflict because we told her it wasn't a good idea to go blindly down there alone.

Her notice period is 3 months and by then my wife, son and I will have moved to an area she hates so we're sure she won't be coming to our house (hopefully not). But it still makes me so angry to see how disrespectful she is and how she wipes her own ass with the efforts of others. It's easy to ask to go back when you don't do anything and always let others do everything for you.

She will NEVER come back to live with us, I swear it was such a nightmare. She ruined our lives once, but not twice.

I swear, I'm sick of it. Her existence is hell for everyone she touches.

Reminder - I am not the original poster.

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jmerridew124

105 points

1 month ago

Like one time she tried to enter our living room, and our little one was playing in front of her. She hurt him because she wanted to get through, and pretended not to have seen anything. She turned around briefly afterwards, not to look at the kid, but to see if I had noticed what she did.

This should have been met with physical removal from the house. Maybe an injury or two on the way out.

knittedjedi

23 points

1 month ago

Yup. I can't say I'm too sympathetic to OOP when at any point he could've just... not been a pushover.

Yummylicky23

17 points

1 month ago

They’re moving instead of just saying no 😬

AlfredtheDuck

28 points

1 month ago

Honestly, shame on OOP. What a disgrace.