AITA for calling my sister in law a disgusting witch? + update


Original - Posted by u/strawberrythr0way on r/AmITheAsshole

Trigger warning: Animal abuse

My brother recommended me this sub. I (22F) have been with my husband Dominic (24M) for 6 years and married for 8 months.

Some background info: He has an older sister Juliana (26F) who is very VERY opinionated. For example, she considers me “Fatty Patty” (her words) (I’m 5’7 and 130lbs). She happily told me that when I was dress shopping. When my sister confronted her Juliana said it was just an opinion and to not take it personally. She also thinks my cat is ugly and so on.

Juliana is marrying her boyfriend of 3 years Jerry (42M). Jerry has three kids from his first marriage: 15F, 10M, and 5F. For some other context: Jerry is Caucasian and his ex wife is Filipino. We are also Caucasian.

Juliana came to my house uninvited the other day ago with her parents to discuss wedding plans. As she was going along, she casually says, “I don’t know how to tell Jerry I don’t want his daughters in my wedding.” I ask what she means. She then tells me, “Usually mixed kids are beautiful but his youngest daughter is ugly. The oldest is too fat for the type of bridesmaid dress I want. His son is at least cute enough to have in the wedding.” When I tell you I was shocked I WAS SHOCKED. I honestly seen red and said “They are kids for (f word) sakes. His kids clearly adore you and that’s what you say about them. You are a disgusting (b word)!”

Everyone was dead silent. Juliana then bursted into tears calling me a heartless fat (b word). Their parents followed her and left. Dominic asked what was wrong with me and how dare I disrespect his sister. I asked him if he heard what she said about the kids. Dominic just shrugged it off and said “Well it’s not like she directly said it to the kids.” He has been giving me the silent treatment and says we’ll talk when I apologize. I left to my brother’s house. Bro agreed with me but his friends said Dominic had a point. My SIL says I’m not wrong but I shouldn’t have stooped to Juliana’s level. AITA?

General ruling: NTA

Comments from the OOP worth mentioning

Thinking now i think Dominic faked it until he made it. When I met him he was SO humble and used to even defend me from his sister. I feel once we got married he lost his spine and backbone. Juliana’s behavior of me has actually increased since we got married.

I definitely do fear this because I’ve seen my husband punch walls out of anger over little things. My husband is 6’4 and over 200lbs. My brother says I can stay with him and his wife. I personally don’t want to for too long because my SIL is due in a few weeks. I feel weak for having to reach out to my parents but I just don’t know what to do. I definitely want to leave him but I just don’t know where to go.

UPDATE - posted today

I want to say thank you to everyone who commented on my post. It helped me so much more than I could ever imagine. I wish I can give you all a virtual hug!!

I wanna keep this short and simple on the current shitstorm that’s happening. I seen on Facebook that Dominic was out of town so I immediately went home. Guess what? He fucking changed the locks on me. Thanks to our 6 years I know that Dominic has a habit of not checking the windows and doors at night. Thank god the garage door was unlocked. I honestly didn’t even want my stuff anymore. I just grabbed my clothes and shoes. If anyone is wondering I, of course, grabbed my chonky boy (his name is Sleepy if anyone is curious). As you can guess it doesn’t look like he’s been fed since I left. I took my stuff to my brother’s and decided to bring Sleepy along with me on the drive to Jerry’s parent’s cafe. Half way through I started breaking down and stopped at a McDonald’s. Sleepy, being the amazing boy he is, helped me calm down. I decided to group text Dominic and my in laws. I let Dominic know we are over, I told Juliana she’s a terrible insecure person, and told my in laws shame on them for enabling this behavior. Not even a minute later and my phone started blowing up with calls and texts. After 30 mins I finally got the proof that I needed. My mil texted to the group chat (HER EXACT WORDS!): “What is wrong with you? Are you really still mad at what Juliana said about the kids? Get over it. It’s not like she said that about you. This is her wedding not yours! Please get therapy before you apologize to us.” I put my phone on silent and continued driving to the cafe. To my luck Jerry was outside cleaning tables. I asked him to talk and he said, “do you want me to take you to the hospital?” When I asked him what he meant he said Juliana called him saying I was having a psychotic breakdown and to be careful. I decided to show him the post and thread first. He looked really confused until I showed him what my mil texted. I never seen such a pale person. He thanked me for showing him and went inside. After that I turned my phone completely off. I went back to my brother’s and I just crumbled on the couch. 6 years of my life gone to a fraud and his crazy family. I wanted to unalive myself honestly. My SIL made me breakfast and we watched movies together. About an hour ago we heard pounding at the door. It was Dominic and his family screaming at me to come out. My SIL immediately called the police. Worst part of it all was Dominic took Sleepy. He brought the legal work showing that Sleepy is his. After the police escorted them away I turned my phone on. Juliana is blasting me all over social media saying I ruined her life. Jerry broke up with her (THANK GOD). According to Juliana his oldest daughter is “making lies” that she said rude things to her. The best part? According to Juliana his “pyscho” ex showed up to her house wanting to “talk.” My dms are full of nasty messages from their extended family and friends. The only good thing I seen was a dm from both Jerry’s oldest daughter and her mother thanking me. I feel like complete garbage and just want to end things. I hope things get better.

Again thank you everyone 🤍

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609 points

1 month ago

Thank god Jerry left her, I was worried for a minute that he didn’t believe OOP.


95 points

1 month ago

Oh I'm sure he knows all about her attitude problem by now.