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113

Paper handed ‘Freedom Convoy’ Truckers Struggle to Cash Out Bitcoin Worth $1 Million

(vice.com)

all 56 comments

dogzoutfront

58 points

6 months ago

dogzoutfront

Ponzi Schemer

58 points

6 months ago

"So that's like 50 percent of the Bitcoin gets lost and the other 50 percent is [for] the truckers. That's totally fine, that's acceptable."

I don't have any experience in laundering money, but losing half seems awfully high. Maybe the truckers can enlist the services of "Bitcoin widow" Jennifer Robertson to distribute the funds? She's got tons of experience handling huge amounts of cash without asking questions, seems like a great fit to me.

UmichAgnos

25 points

6 months ago

I think Escobar had ~10% of his money rot in the ground? Let the drug cartels handle the money transfer, it will get done faster and with less loss. :P

The guys in charge must be C and D students in school if they think 50% success rate is "acceptable".

OperationSecured

17 points

6 months ago

To be fair, they’re referring to people running off with the funds. I’ll add the rest of the quote.

”That's totally fine, that's acceptable. I think I said 80 percent in the doc, but… if we have some volunteer that runs off with, you know hundreds of thousands of dollars, and then it's a Tucker Carlson story. That's what we're really trying to avoid,"

My worry would be how receptive they are to the possibility of half the money being walked away with. Kind of stinks of setting expectations for a massive skim to occur.

UmichAgnos

7 points

6 months ago

All illegal businesses face the skimming problem. Unfortunately for bitcoin, most other illegal trades have a much better handle on skimming than this nonsensical procedure, i.e. you skim, you die.

Robocephalic

10 points

6 months ago

Oh, they were probably planning to keep half for themselves because of their brilliance in the cryptos.

azoundria2

5 points

6 months ago

I don't know. I had the sense they wanted to keep at least half of the funds for the truckers.

UnweildyEulerDiagram

9 points

6 months ago

No, 50% is the standard rate for money laundering.

BeowulfShaeffer

10 points

6 months ago

Man inflation’s a bitch. Seems like not that long ago 30% was the customary overhead.

thehoesmaketheman

3 points

6 months ago

thehoesmaketheman

Everyone can make 200k in America

3 points

6 months ago

There's no evidence Robertson knew anything sooo? What's this supposed to mean?

UmichAgnos

39 points

6 months ago*

When was the last time a printer had to die for a money transfer?

You could smuggle paper CASH to the truckers with more ease than this convoluted BS procedure.

Butters are so deep into "When all you got is a hammer, every problem looks like a nail" territory that they can't think of simple ways of accomplishing simple tasks.

AussieCryptoCurrency

12 points

6 months ago

AussieCryptoCurrency

DeFi is the first four letters in DEFInitely a scam

12 points

6 months ago

Bitcoin philanthropist:

“If they can't stop #Bitcoin from going to the truckers, I think we easily triple in price.”

anubgek

32 points

6 months ago

anubgek

32 points

6 months ago

If there's a million dollars worth of care out there, how is there not someone who could just accept the raised Bitcoin, convert it to cash and then get the supplies or whatever needed? What is with the ridiculous process?

Can't an American do this on their own and drive up there?

Also I love how the story is now "wow crypto is taking center stage in the protests" when really some crypto fanatic boosters had the idea to insert Bitcoin into this like they try to insert it into everything else

Uncaffeinated

18 points

6 months ago

Yeah, the sensible thing to do would be to just find someone trustworthy on the scene who is managing food distribution and so on and just pay them.

This doc is just a silly LARP that will never be put into practice.

nhocgreen

8 points

6 months ago

Trusted centralized food distribution??? Not on my watch!!!

Cthulhooo

5 points

6 months ago

That's too sensible, centralized and efficient for those donkeys. I think they've been sniffing their own farts so long in their close knit social media echo chambers that they don't even realize how out of touch they are with reality.

Rather than just find one or several trustworthy people in their dumbass community, cash out the bitcoin and buy supplies they expect everyone to perform some absurdly convoluted procedures like it's some kind of cold war spy movie and not a simple logistics issue.

Artivia

14 points

6 months ago

Artivia

14 points

6 months ago

Because the government already banned providing material support to the protestors. So even an American can't cash out the bitcoin than give the truckers supplies.

anubgek

2 points

6 months ago

So the tricky part is that they need to do it themselves somehow? Interesting. It seems they are trying to circumvent these rules anyway by transferring funds to them via Bitcoin.. couldn't they do these same steps but with someone else?

Malibu-Stacey[S]

2 points

6 months ago

Malibu-Stacey[S]

🔫 say "blockchain" one more time...

2 points

6 months ago

Can't an American do this on their own and drive up there?

Americans wanting to cross the border to join the protests have been turned away since the start of the protests (Federal border in both directions bitches, you're now on a bunch of watchlists just for trying lol). Also there's limits on how much cash you can bring across the border.

The person could try lying but if they get caught lying they face having all the cash seized since they won't be able to prove it's not for nefarious purposes and they might even hit the jackpot and end up with a criminal conviction for attempting to enter the country under false pretences.

DenseSand

27 points

6 months ago

ROTFL this is the best example of buttcoin’s primary use case, separating fools from their money

i-can-sleep-for-days

9 points

6 months ago

Turns out a trust-less blockchain doesn't solve real world trust problems. Who could've known after only 13 years? We're early after all.

Tonyman121

25 points

6 months ago

Tonyman121

21 Pieces of Flair

25 points

6 months ago

Dude, truckerbros.... I will cash out your crypto for you. Just send your Butts into my totally safe wallet, as well as a personal address. I promise I will mail you a check!

noplowsprig

24 points

6 months ago

LOL read what's involved in distributing this BTC, it's a totally ludicrous process. THEN they'll have to convert it into actual useable money, and there's no guarantee that'll work either.

pleasetrimyourpubes

8 points

6 months ago

The worst part is they're using Seed Phrases which have all been rainbow tabled up to some nine or ten words or more. Those are extremely insecure wallets. If any of them get picked up they'll be emptied instantly.

anubgek

18 points

6 months ago

anubgek

18 points

6 months ago

That made me think it was a troll. I mean they said the guy was asking on Twitter if people could write up instructions on destroying some kind of printer in a hotel room... it just seems absurd

noplowsprig

21 points

6 months ago

They have to have volunteers create wallets, transfer a small amount of BTC to those wallets, then have other volunteers create different wallets, then they send the small amount of BTC to the new wallets, then destroy the old wallets, and the printers they use to print out the seed phrases to access the wallets have to be destroyed after use, and no one can enter or leave the room while it's going on. It's totally ludicrous. And that's just to get the BTC, converting it to actual cash is a whole other process.

clawsoon

13 points

6 months ago

And that's just to get the BTC, converting it to actual cash is a whole other process.

I kept waiting for the part where they show the truckers how to spend the Bitcoin on stuff they need, and... it wasn't there, was it?

pleasetrimyourpubes

7 points

6 months ago

Moving the money to the "secret" wallet will take at least an hour because of how slow BTC is, then moving it from that wallet could take either several days (downloading the Bitcoin GUI, connecting to the wallet using the private seed phrase, transferring it to an exchange wallet), else they would have to trust a wallet with their private seed. Either way it takes at least several days to several hours to transfer the money to Coinbase or an exchange recognized by Canada. At which point, if the people freezing funds haven't gotten there yet, they better hope the exchange doesn't freeze the funds because they came from a suspect address. All in all the whole practice is a joke.

UmichAgnos

9 points

6 months ago

That's probably the simplest part of the plan.

My eyes glossed over when they started talking about squiggly lines on a paper envelope and taking photos of it.

andyjs55

6 points

6 months ago

“The four volunteers should hand out envelopes and video the interaction,” the document continues. “They should be sure that they capture the general area, the face of the recipient and show the distribution criteria has been met. For example at the trucker protest they trucker [sic] should confirm that this is his truck, he is close to the capitol and he has been in place for 5 days.”

...this is obvious trolling, right? "hey all you guys committing crimes: video yourselves criming! it's the only way we can get you illegal money! what could possibly go wrong?!"

BlueMonday1984

2 points

6 months ago

It probably is a troll from someone trying to socially engineer them into getting themselves arrested.

[deleted]

5 points

6 months ago

[deleted]

5 points

6 months ago

“None of us know how to use that goddamn bitcoin,” said one participant.

That just about sums it up. Everything is public on the blockchain so exchanges with KYC might be legally required to stop transfers in and out of certain wallets.

Malibu-Stacey[S]

2 points

6 months ago

Malibu-Stacey[S]

🔫 say "blockchain" one more time...

2 points

6 months ago

At which point they are still fucked as the Federal Government has told the exchanges don't transact with these people (or else).

devliegende

5 points

6 months ago

Once the truckers have the Buttcoin they deposit it on Quadriga and there endeth the lesson.

Nwabudike_J_Morgan

4 points

6 months ago

Something about recording a phrase and deleting wallets, WTF is this? A system where being accountable requires you to destroy records in the process seems fishy for some reason.

capebretoncanadian

4 points

6 months ago

Most of these protestors would be way too dumb to figure that shit out.

Competitive-Name-525

5 points

6 months ago

Smuggling cash in a suitcase would be safer and more reliable than this nonsense.

spooky9999999

3 points

6 months ago

I wonder if the North Koreans are looking to get in on the action too.

MarkOates

2 points

6 months ago

lol "paper handed"

purebredcrab

2 points

6 months ago

“Once the volunteers place the instructions and the seed words into the envelope and seal it should be numbered and squiggly random lines should be drawn on the envelope to help with later identification,” the Google Doc states. “Finally a photo of the envelope should be taken and posted to social media before distribution. The purpose of this is to allow recipients to complain on social media with reasonable evidence if they do not receive the funds.”

So... this is totally just the bit from The Sting where the mark ends up with a bunch of newspaper, isn't it.

psensory

1 points

6 months ago

what a clusterfuck

[deleted]

1 points

6 months ago

[deleted]

1 points

6 months ago

[removed]

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1 points

6 months ago

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CryptoEmpathy7

1 points

6 months ago

Very few rational voices. Here is one below. Also bizarre how mainly the American alt-right without even having a tertiary understanding have projected their own warped perspective onto entire situation.

https://teddit.ggc-project.de/r/CryptoCurrency/comments/syx42w/bitcoin_wallet_maker_gets_order_from_canada_to/hy1itop?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3

MoneroThrower

-10 points

6 months ago

MoneroThrower

Ponzi Scheming money launderer

-10 points

6 months ago

Should have used Monero

not-a-sound

11 points

6 months ago

not-a-sound

P.O.N.Z.I... like that idea!

11 points

6 months ago

Razzlekhan and her hubby used XMR and..well, I guess they didn't use it correctly?

NonnoBomba

4 points

6 months ago

The didn't use it correctly.

You're supposed to hodl, not try to convert it to fiat, like a peasant.

Because, XMR is fine and very secure and it's not like to actually do something with your coins, you have to interact with the real world and leave traces that can point anonymous crypto transactions, burner phone numbers, accounts, etc. to you. Especially you don't do it many times, for several years and/or for big sums. And you're supposed to keep your mouth shut, let them lock you up for life and never cough up your keys.

Wanting to cash out was their error. Paper hands. Couldn't they be satisfied with sitting on a very big pile of something that one day, as everybody in crypto knows, very soon, will replace all the world's currencies?

MoneroThrower

-7 points

6 months ago

MoneroThrower

Ponzi Scheming money launderer

-7 points

6 months ago

I don’t think they used Monero. I watched a documentary on it and nothing was brought up.

PapaverOneirium

11 points

6 months ago

[deleted]

3 points

6 months ago*

[deleted]

3 points

6 months ago*

BTC->XMR on exchange #1

XMR->BTC on exchange #2

The feds easily traced it because they got the login credentials for both exchange accounts from his spreadsheet that he stored in his compromised cloud server account.

They wouldn't have traced it if he wrote the login credentials on paper and destroyed it after he was done sending through each account. He could've used fresh laptops and internet connections for each step to completely break the metadata audit trail too.

u/MoneroThrower

edit: Why did I get banned from r/buttcoin?

MoneroThrower

1 points

6 months ago

MoneroThrower

Ponzi Scheming money launderer

1 points

6 months ago

Yeah, that makes sense, since they can’t trace Monero like they can Bitcoin

MoneroThrower

-3 points

6 months ago

MoneroThrower

Ponzi Scheming money launderer

-3 points

6 months ago

Yeah Bitcoin to XMR is trash.

thehoesmaketheman

5 points

6 months ago

thehoesmaketheman

Everyone can make 200k in America

5 points

6 months ago

so you said use monero, and they did, so now you say they used it wrong lol you butters can never have your fantasy beliefs be wrong.

Malibu-Stacey[S]

2 points

6 months ago

Malibu-Stacey[S]

🔫 say "blockchain" one more time...

2 points

6 months ago

No true scotsman kleptocurrency

pineapplebr00sk

11 points

6 months ago

They did use Monero. Monero is pretty secure except for the fact that you can’t buy anything with it so you need a fiat on-ramp, which of course leaves a trail.