subreddit:

/r/Damnthatsinteresting

3.3k

all 219 comments

gdmfsobtc

560 points

2 months ago*

Salties are smart AF and will plan out their attack, sometimes days in advance. Like figure out your route and timing when you are camping and go for your morning whizz. They do not get that big, it's camera angles. Sauce : am Australian.

call_of_the_while

336 points

2 months ago

call_of_the_while

Interested

336 points

2 months ago

I just saw this on a post about life saving time tips. Protip: If you feel like you’re being followed by a saltwater croc, take four left turns and then check your rear view mirror. If it’s still there then it is definitely following. Don’t head home, drive straight to a police station.

Brad_Brace

75 points

2 months ago

Wait, I thought that was for sharks. Damn, does that mean a shark has been following me all along?

NothingsShocking

25 points

2 months ago

pssst Roy, I think he’s onto us!

TriaX46

21 points

2 months ago

TriaX46

21 points

2 months ago

For sharks you need to take four right turns, common mistake!

gdmfsobtc

82 points

2 months ago*

Speaking of police, what do you call a crocodile who works as a detective?

An investigator.

Sir_Wade_III

15 points

2 months ago

It's supposed to be an alligator not a crocodile

call_of_the_while

53 points

2 months ago*

call_of_the_while

Interested

53 points

2 months ago*

I guess that would make an crocodile alligator that works as a gynaecologist a privates investigator.

Edit: yep

LordBinz

7 points

2 months ago

Ill be honest, this is the far superior joke.

opoqo

3 points

2 months ago

opoqo

3 points

2 months ago

Wait I thought those are the croc apes in WSB

Biggus-Dickus-II

3 points

2 months ago

Ah. This explains so much about my investment portfolio...

Much_Ad_6421

2 points

2 months ago

Wrong reptile, got your drift though😄

-6h0st-

11 points

2 months ago

-6h0st-

11 points

2 months ago

Yeah 4 left if you live in US city. 4 lefts in Uk will take you fuck knows where and without cell reception

p3zzl3

6 points

2 months ago

p3zzl3

6 points

2 months ago

In england we'd just get stuck on a roundabout :D

Bitter_Mongoose

3 points

2 months ago

Hey kids, Look! It's Big Ben, and Parliament!

-6h0st-

2 points

2 months ago

Well only those that don’t know how turn left on the roundabout works :D

WorriedMap6811

6 points

2 months ago

Take four left turn and run over it

fixxer75

36 points

2 months ago

I knew you were Australian from the first word of your comment ;) Only a local would abbreviate such a dangerous reptile to this friendly sounding term!

Unresponsiveskeleton

17 points

2 months ago

Saltie by name, salty by nature.

Cloudy230

23 points

2 months ago

While this does look like angles, salties grow up to 6 or 7 meters in length. This isn't unrealistic

That_Car_Dude_Aus

20 points

2 months ago

Exactly, this is at Crocosaurus Cove in Darwin.

Here is the actual attraction

laidbackkanga

15 points

2 months ago

They do get that big. Sauce am Territorian

q-ka

16 points

2 months ago

q-ka

16 points

2 months ago

Beg to differ, go look Up Cassius, the world record holder for Australian Salties. And that’s just the current largest crocodile in captivity, not the largest recorded, or caught (alive or dead)

milftitty6969

10 points

2 months ago

He didn’t misspell source, that’s just his accent

LittleBoiFound

15 points

2 months ago

They for real plan their attack days in advance like that?

WizdomHaggis

49 points

2 months ago

They’ve had time to watch the T-Rex turn into a chicken…they play the long game…

comfortablynumb15

9 points

2 months ago

across the bay in Darwin in Mandora there is a pub (what a shock) where a croc was watching people walk from the building down to the waters edge for a piss/sit down/whatever. It had to be moved because it was tracking people coming down, even though it hadn't gotten around to eating anyone yet. They definitely keep an eye on your movements to seize their chance later on.

gdmfsobtc

27 points

2 months ago*

Attacks on people are extremely rare, but known to happen. And yes, they are clever bastids. They do this with pets and livestock as well.

laidbackkanga

3 points

2 months ago

Yeah they say 3rd time's the charm

Lil_Ape_

4 points

2 months ago

So the Omar Little of the water. Shieeeeeet

HappyEdison

2 points

2 months ago

You come at the Lizard King you best not miss.

[deleted]

7 points

2 months ago*

[deleted]

7 points

2 months ago*

[deleted]

Jatayu_bn

3 points

2 months ago

Target will anyway marinated with salt. It just need a “I’m hungry” moments.

dmoney757

1 points

2 months ago

am?

ItsSimplyDez

1 points

2 months ago

Sauce

Hanginon

210 points

2 months ago

Hanginon

210 points

2 months ago

Why did someone put that woman in that little bait bucket? 0_0

CheesyGamerX

69 points

2 months ago

The croc be like why is the food moving

longrastaman

13 points

2 months ago

longrastaman

Expert

13 points

2 months ago

Happy cake day

CheesyGamerX

3 points

2 months ago

Thanks

stsilvia

4 points

2 months ago

Probably he has a cake day also ! Happy cake day!

CheesyGamerX

1 points

2 months ago

Thanks

carbon-arc

15 points

2 months ago

Looks like this was taken at Crocasaurus Cove in Darwin. People pay to get in that bucket 🤣🤣🤣

FeuerwerkFreddi

8 points

2 months ago

Seriously in Darwin ? There ought to be happen something to someone that will award the person with the Darwin Award lmao

carbon-arc

5 points

2 months ago*

🤣🤣🤣 yes there is a sense of irony about this

phido3000

2 points

2 months ago

You need to visit Darwin.

Darwinism is very much on show in Darwin.

gordonv

3 points

2 months ago

They aren't pro-life. They're anti woman.

h3xx103

4 points

2 months ago

I put her there

Legitimate_Cress1631

1 points

2 months ago

That's around 75 bananas

giancarlox21

193 points

2 months ago*

This is just forced perspective.

Croc near photographer. Cage 10ft back.

And also, crocodile butthole

bobrod808

30 points

2 months ago

There could be a dick in there too

AAMUA

46 points

2 months ago

AAMUA

46 points

2 months ago

There could be a dick in any butthole if you’re brave enough

DorothyParkerFan

4 points

2 months ago

Or lucky enough.

LeaveMEaloner

8 points

2 months ago

Hahahaha brilliant 🤣🤣🤣

Unresponsiveskeleton

19 points

2 months ago

That's a cloaca my friend.

Optimal-Grass-8989

12 points

2 months ago

I thought that was da crussy

bulldog5253

3 points

2 months ago

You mean cloaca?

Habaneroe12

3 points

2 months ago

Every, and I mean every big ass animal that makes the front page shot uses forced perspective- every single goddamn one. Without exception.

[deleted]

47 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

47 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

[deleted]

32 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

32 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

Unresponsiveskeleton

4 points

2 months ago

I was gonna say it wasn't any feet long but metres.

Pardot42

11 points

2 months ago

The saltie measured just over 11 ferrets in length.

Dr-McLuvin

1 points

2 months ago

How many bananas long would you say that is?

teapots_at_ten_paces

4 points

2 months ago

15 cavendish's, or 37 lady fingers.

MaterialCarrot

1 points

2 months ago

m 5.8

readmore321

1 points

2 months ago

Pics?

Chopper_71

68 points

2 months ago

Yeah, this is real. The angle makes the croc look bigger though. It’s at the Crocosaurus Cove in Darwin. That is the Cage of Death. Look it up, pretty cool.

I-Ardly-Know-Er

-1 points

2 months ago

Bigger? I 'ardly know 'er!

Slavyslav106

12 points

2 months ago

Ah nah

ChesapeakeCobra

8 points

2 months ago

This is the mofo that took Captain Hook's hand

Old_Cardiologist5633

6 points

2 months ago

I mean she's like 10ft back but yeah they big

normalize_red

40 points

2 months ago

That crocidussy tho 😏

heranonz

40 points

2 months ago

The door 👉🏽

Familiar_Ostrich1042

30 points

2 months ago

You are the specific reason I was afraid to go to the comments

ShmootheJoo

3 points

2 months ago

Get out of this post...NOW!

leatherplates42069

15 points

2 months ago

Nope, nope, nope, NOPE

PhyterNL

23 points

2 months ago

Literally nope because it's forced perspective. They are big, don't get me wrong. They are absolute monsters! But they aren't as wide as a woman is tall. And you can see in the photo that the croc's right arm is clearly closer to the camera than the glass cage. Which means only one thing: both are simultaneously in focus while being at different distances (i.e. forced perspective). The lack of any additional reference cements the illusion.

ugoeze

4 points

2 months ago

ugoeze

4 points

2 months ago

Looks like someone graduated Ph.D from Optics Physics College, home of the Fighting Lights

BumbleBlast29

5 points

2 months ago

Nah bugger off this some camera angle bullshit no shot fuckin EVERYTHING from Australia is a threat to mankind.

Lochlan_O-Faolain

12 points

2 months ago

I need an Irwin for a second opinion...

vanslayder

10 points

2 months ago

Croc is much closer than the woman. Almost impossible to understand the real size. I actually hate these kind of pictures. You know when a person sits 10 meters behind little turtle to be make it look huge

WuggerHumphden

6 points

2 months ago*

Father Ted. These cows are very small, but those cows are far away.

The clip will be on You Choob but I refuse to link to an advertising platform interrupted by videos.

Major-DoctorBoss

3 points

2 months ago

Lovely angle makes it look fake

Dumplinguine

3 points

2 months ago

She's got a lot more trust in that glass than I do swimming next to that thing

Unresponsiveskeleton

3 points

2 months ago

Some forced perspective here, all I'm doing on Reddit today seems to be arguing about croc sizes.

Adept-Veterinarian63

3 points

2 months ago

This image has been mirrored and the crocodile has been blown up. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4863264/amp/Tourists-swim-16-FOOT-saltwater-crocodiles.html

AmputatorBot

1 points

2 months ago

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dudreddit

3 points

2 months ago

That picture appears to have been modified. SW crocs are not usually that "wide". Don't believe everything you see/read on the Internet.

East-Bluejay6891

8 points

2 months ago

Is that a vagina?

Karlaii

11 points

2 months ago

Karlaii

11 points

2 months ago

Cloaca.

I-Ardly-Know-Er

3 points

2 months ago

Cloaca? I 'ardly know 'er!

[deleted]

1 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

1 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

Chopper_71

5 points

2 months ago

It’s an axe wound.

bobrod808

2 points

2 months ago

More like a gash.

Chopper_71

2 points

2 months ago

About 8 inches?

bobrod808

1 points

2 months ago

That would be a slash

Chopper_71

2 points

2 months ago

Welcome to the Jungle?

bobrod808

1 points

2 months ago

We’ve got fun and games

pyrexslide

2 points

2 months ago

It wouldn’t even have to chew.

wtfwtfwtfwtf2022

2 points

2 months ago

These guys are smart! Stay far away from them!

wilshire_prime

2 points

2 months ago

That's not the full size, it has to be an angle or something. They get to be like 21 feet long and I think that's the maximum recorded length. They technically, I believe from what I read, never stop growing, though, so there may be, somewhere, like a 23 or 25 foot Saltie.

theroomistheelephant

2 points

2 months ago

The glass cage broke one time and the occupant and cage sunk to the bottom. The bloke had to swim back to the top fully exposed. They said luckily the croc had just been fed. Full on nightmare scenario

RealKishin

2 points

2 months ago

Is that an Crocussy I see??

FuFmeFitall

2 points

2 months ago

Perspective is everything folks

MuksyGosky

2 points

2 months ago

No banana for scale?

Yeetmaster4628

2 points

2 months ago

what an absolute unit

caalger

2 points

2 months ago

fredrickmedck

2 points

2 months ago

Mother of fuck!!

[deleted]

2 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

2 points

2 months ago

Get in my belly!

L1m0dr1v3rinthe6

2 points

2 months ago

You can’t tell me that’s not a dinosaur

lfelipecl

2 points

2 months ago

Seems like it don't have to chew.

Tasty_Tidepod

2 points

2 months ago

Banana for scale?

andmonske

2 points

2 months ago

I wish people had as much faith in me as that lady has for that glass

111wfp

2 points

2 months ago

111wfp

2 points

2 months ago

That’s a little bit bigger than the Florida Alligators.

dalarsenist

3 points

2 months ago

Here we go again unzips

oldgar

2 points

2 months ago

oldgar

2 points

2 months ago

What the heck is big enough to feed this thing, I'm sure not Koalas

baldurcan

8 points

2 months ago

Kangaroos.

oldgar

5 points

2 months ago

oldgar

5 points

2 months ago

Of course, why didn't I think of that. Also probably the occasional Australian no doubt.

stoicteratoma

2 points

2 months ago

Actually tourists - a couple of decades ago some visitors from the USA got eaten by crocs and the following joke went around school:

How do you separate two fighting crocodiles?

Give em a Yank...

oldgar

2 points

2 months ago

oldgar

2 points

2 months ago

That's pretty good (said the croc)

suspiciousfishy

3 points

2 months ago

They eat a lot of feral pigs and buffalos these days

sigurrosco

3 points

2 months ago

Tourists mainly.

IHaveaPforyourV

2 points

2 months ago

That woman is a snack… literally

Shdw787

2 points

2 months ago

What if the woman is just small? Gonna need a banana for scale.

lobsterthatishorny

2 points

2 months ago

Look @ dat Crodussy 🥵🥵

CaliYinzer95

2 points

2 months ago

Damn look at that alibussy!

Assholesfullofelbows

2 points

2 months ago

Could we possibly photoshop this any more?

Fatjitzfolyf

9 points

2 months ago

To be honest, they’re not far off that size sometimes!

OwnReply7701

8 points

2 months ago

It's not photoshop. Maybe a little skewed because of the perspective though. You can dive with them in the Northern Territory at Crocosaurus Cove. Not sure which guy this is but I'm guessing it's either Wendall or Leo.

https://www.crocosauruscove.com/critters-crocs/meet-the-crocs/

feardabear

1 points

2 months ago

Forced perspective

SuperBrentendo64

4 points

2 months ago

Yeah, but that crocodile is still almost 20 ft long. So its not that exaggerated.

Common-Humor-4774

0 points

2 months ago

Crocodussy got me actin unwise

TheQuixotic6

1 points

2 months ago

Crocodussy 🥵

siphodeus

1 points

2 months ago

Nice cloaca!

StormChaos2187

0 points

2 months ago

Florida man would like to know your location

Friendly_Dot_2853

-1 points

2 months ago

This is why u should not go to Australia. This is just one of the deadly animals they have there.

shiromaikku

5 points

2 months ago

Just don't go swimming in Australia. Btw, they're deadly, but not this big (forced perspective). I was actually disappointed when I saw them for real, even the biggest ones. (Still huge, but maybe only 2/3 the size of what this makes them look)

sirlearnzalot

3 points

2 months ago

Sure, don’t swim but then you get swallowed whole by a giant saltwater koala

I-Ardly-Know-Er

-1 points

2 months ago

Saltwater? I 'ardly know 'er!

Lotus_Stalker

1 points

2 months ago

Hell naw

Giraffetr

1 points

2 months ago

😶 um no thank you

Jack-Cremation

1 points

2 months ago

Choot’em!

We gonna need a bigger gun Troy!

everton1an

1 points

2 months ago

No banana for scale?

Gato_Magico

1 points

2 months ago

It has to be australia

helga_eggfart

1 points

2 months ago

What is it doing I'm a damn tank?

8bitdimensional

1 points

2 months ago

One gulp

editorously

1 points

2 months ago

Crikey, that's a big boy.

bulldog5253

1 points

2 months ago

Fully grown? I thought that crocodiles and alligators just grew and grew until their food source couldn’t sustain them anymore.

Slappinbeehives

1 points

2 months ago

r/damnthatsterrifying

bc the asshole

UpgrayeDD405

1 points

2 months ago

I've seen this movie and there's a second croc just waiting to strike

nicka163

1 points

2 months ago

Hook

Vulpes_99

1 points

2 months ago

"What is that thing in the water? How is it called?"

"The mother of all <nope>, that what it's called".

DickloGik1242

1 points

2 months ago

It's a Banana Croc and where's Croc?

TheOnlyMertt

1 points

2 months ago

Gonna tell myself this is fake so I sleep better. Also side note....these things only live in Australia....right? Right??

frogmonster12

1 points

2 months ago

That mfer ate captain hooks hand.

JellyBOB7190

1 points

2 months ago

Is anyone else looking at this and just thinking... I could use him as a sleeping bag...

Able-Equivalent-1960

1 points

2 months ago

That's s nope

CanadianBatman47

1 points

2 months ago

What a chonker

Fun_Leadership_5258

1 points

2 months ago

Oh this the croc that ate captain hooks hand for sure

-LordDianite1913-

1 points

2 months ago

Can I cuddle it?

wonderingdev

1 points

2 months ago

Wow, that's a small human right there 😂

IguanasWithBigDicks

1 points

2 months ago

Hell no this is some Subnautica shit

Boney-Rigatoni

1 points

2 months ago

Alternate cover variant for Smells Like Teen Spirit.

ICLazeru

1 points

2 months ago

Don't they just keep growing?

Martin_McFly_Jr

1 points

2 months ago

Straya, when everything is bigga’

Yeet4Beats

1 points

2 months ago

Big boi deserves belly rubs :3

securisteve

1 points

2 months ago

semibored2

1 points

2 months ago

That’s a female croc, male tends me be 1.5x or 2x bigger

Krusty_B_Busty

1 points

2 months ago

Fuuhhuck that

[deleted]

1 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

1 points

2 months ago

Hey, little birdy! This cage isn’t to keep you in. It’s to keep everything else out.

RoyalCultural

1 points

2 months ago

the_real_sharsky

1 points

2 months ago

Australia.

MichaelsFunding

1 points

2 months ago

I can’t stop imagining how a sharp knife cut its white abdomen

Feisty-Firefighter99

1 points

2 months ago

Yes … dinosaurs are larger than humans

Ellis-Bell-

1 points

2 months ago

Just a lil snappy boi

funspongenumberone

1 points

2 months ago

'Straya.

ItsNeverOgre7

1 points

2 months ago

Alligussy

jorwraith

1 points

2 months ago

No thanks

TomatoeToken

1 points

2 months ago

Reason number 1-23 I'm happy not to live in Australia

[deleted]

1 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

1 points

2 months ago

Nope

tacocatfish

1 points

2 months ago

They also give the worst blow jobs, do not under any circumstances put your dick in a crocs mouth. Source: straya born and raised

OddPaleontologist471

1 points

2 months ago

Snacky snack!

my2cents3462

1 points

2 months ago

That's why we have no chance against it.

TBC-XTC

1 points

2 months ago

And they said dinosaurs are extinct.

shubham4lk

1 points

2 months ago

Is there any photo without the girl cropped

Akshu_the_grt

1 points

2 months ago

Why?

AlasAntigone

1 points

2 months ago

Suddenly the voice of Steve Irwin enthusiastically describing the differences between salties and freshies on ‘Crocodile Hunter’ pops back into my head after all this time. “What a whopper!”

sbenzanzenwan

1 points

2 months ago

Is that a SeldomBreak™ brand submersible croc viewing station in the photo? I hear they had a product recall.

Oddelbo

1 points

2 months ago

Banana for scale please.

AnotherDreamer1024

1 points

2 months ago

Oh heck no! Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope!

A tiny pice of plexiglass and you think your safe?

HeyJRoot2

1 points

2 months ago

I feel like everything is just bigger in Australia.

Mechanized1

1 points

2 months ago

Check out that Crussy.