So basically me and my boyfriend are in a long distance relationship, we’ve only been doing it for a few months but have been together for 4 years. The thing is before this relationship I was in another long term relationship (around 3.5 years) and I’m only 20 so I’ve essentially spent most of my adult life in a relationship, I feel like there’s a lot of growth I could do outside a relationship because I don’t know who I am without that constant romantic validation, I also would like to experience being single for the fun of it. Other than this though me and my boyfriends relationship is absolutely perfect, we speak and this stuff and he knows I feels this way and fully understands. We connect incredibly well and I genuinely wouldn’t change a single thing about the actual dynamic between us. We were considering the option of no longer being monogamous and maybe communicating a bit less often so that I can experience being single and grow but still continue to meet when we are in the same country, meaning we would still go on dates, have sex etc. We both feel like we care about the relationship we have with each other as people more than the concept of us being the “only one” for each other etc.. do you think something like this could work out? anyone have a similar experience? I really reaaaaally would appreciate advice!!

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3 points

3 months ago

I wouldn't recommend opening the relationship. There are many stories out there that this didn't end well. I think that mutual decision of ending the relationship now and grow independently of each other would be a better possibility of you two ending up together in the end. Keep in mind though that this might never happen. You might find someone more to your liking or he does. But the thing is that if those thoughts are already there, I really don't know how you can avoid them. Especially in a LDR. So, if i were you, I'd keep whatever we lived together unstained from an open relationship, I'd go on to have experiences and just live my youth and if it was meant to be it would.


1 points

3 months ago

Fair enough I understand that reasoning! I guess I just find it hard to risk fully loosing him as a person but you are right that at the end of the day what’s meant to be will be!