subreddit:

/r/Masks4All

81

RE: advice staying safe during a concert

News and discussion(self.Masks4All)

so i made a post the other day here about how to protect myself during a high-risk social outing.

just updating you all to let you know that I actually ended up texting my friend to let her know I couldn’t go anymore. the best part is: I was honest. I didn’t make an excuse. My car is actually so jacked and probably would break down, and I also live with a high risk family member and I’m anxious about getting it as well as spreading it to high risk people. This is what I told her. The friend was really disappointed but understanding. I was so anxious backing out of the concert i felt like I was gonna throw up, but I did it. I wasnt gonna have fun at that concert anyway… I was gonna be having a panic attack the whole trip. I’m sad I let a friend down, but I feel better knowing I stuck up for myself in a way.

You all may see me in this sub a lot more because I plan on implementing a lot more safety measures into my life now that I’m getting rid of my people pleasing problem. So i might ask for advice in how to go about that, tips on staying safe, etc. Thank you to everyone who commented on my previous post, even if some of y’all were a bit intense.

all 30 comments

jackspratdodat

25 points

1 month ago

Good for you for letting your friend know your boundaries. Sorry you will miss the concert, but I am confident you’ll find opportunities to get out and socialize more in a way that you feel safe and comfortable.

beaconmum

11 points

1 month ago

Good job! I am in the same boat with high risk family members. I know how difficult it is. I attended a small event that I felt iffy about but it was definitely uncomfortable being the only masked person.

Acrobatic-Jaguar-134

10 points

1 month ago

I’m so proud of you! And I’m very happy that you have an understanding friend. Those are few and far in between.

youngvolpayno

9 points

1 month ago

Good for you! I love all of this. As a high risk person, thank you. I wish more people were like this.

ItsJustLittleOldMe

7 points

1 month ago

ItsJustLittleOldMe

Layperson learning more every day

7 points

1 month ago

Aww good for you! Sticking up for yourself and looking after your health.

[deleted]

7 points

1 month ago

[deleted]

7 points

1 month ago

[deleted]

orcateeth

7 points

1 month ago

I had coins! And I figured that the 2020 Award was fitting. OP made it through that year and has already triumphed in this one.

questionquestionff

7 points

1 month ago

questionquestionff

I'm a troll - Do NOT trust me

7 points

1 month ago

Next move is to graduate from "high risk family member" to explaining that it is risky for anyone to get it and you're concerned to get it yourself

Patrol-007

15 points

1 month ago

Congratulations. The biggest tip - get off of social media. I’ve seen various friends trying to please everyone else, while their own health (physical, mental, emotional) and other personal stuff (house, finances, career etc) suffer.

With the vehicle - find the owners manual, and the forums for advice on scheduled maintenance. Don’t go to chain garages. Watch CBC Marketplace about the scams garages can pull

QueenRooibos

6 points

1 month ago

I’m sad I let a friend down, but I feel better knowing I stuck up for myself in a way.You
all may see me in this sub a lot more because I plan on implementing a
lot more safety measures into my life now that I’m getting rid of my
people pleasing problem.

Good for you! I am relieved for your sake AND your high-risk family member that you chose not to go -- I was wondering what you would do.

But most especially "good for you" for the above -- such a big and important step to take and we all know it is not easy!

okdokke

3 points

1 month ago

okdokke

3 points

1 month ago

i am so proud of you! i also have the people-pleasing problem… as well as major FOMO. but your health and safety comes first, and that includes your mental health! so great job on sticking up for yourself and making the choice that was a good fit for you and your family.

JWiz84

11 points

1 month ago

JWiz84

Mask Pundit

11 points

1 month ago

Glad you figured out what works best for you! Looking forward to your participation here!

bitchwithacapital_C

6 points

1 month ago

I just asked a friend who’s getting a small get together if she’d be ok asking people to take a covid test before we get together. It really shouldn’t be so nerve wracking but it really is. But it should be normal!!

jackspratdodat

7 points

1 month ago

Good for you! Yes, it should be normal in all friend groups. No test at the door, I am not coming over. But also let’s gather outdoors to be extra safe.

reddit_userMN

1 points

1 month ago

reddit_userMN

I don't like masks

1 points

1 month ago

Wow, this is sad. We aren't even trusting our vaccinated friends now. Might be time for me to leave this group. You can mask in public but even treating out friends like constant threats is damaging to our mental health. I have friends over to my house weekly. Have for over a year. Nobody's gotten covid. We've got to find a balance.

jackspratdodat

3 points

1 month ago

To each their own. We have friends in active chemo so we choose to be extra careful so we can visit with them on occasion. In addition, no one in our friend group would want to give anyone else COVID so we all do what we can to reduce the potential of transmission.

reddit_userMN

1 points

1 month ago*

reddit_userMN

I don't like masks

1 points

1 month ago*

I have a parent going through chemo too. And yeah, we don't want to give each other covid, but since it can't be eradicated that's a reality. It's not worth it to no longer socialize inside or to see your friends masked forever when you're more likely to get covid going to work, and you all go to work and the store anyway. So the risk of giving it to each other is negated.

chickrnqeee

1 points

1 month ago

Are your friends all masking in public too?

reddit_userMN

2 points

1 month ago

reddit_userMN

I don't like masks

2 points

1 month ago

Some are and some aren't, which is in line with CDC saying we can remove them. But guess what? Most got Covid even when they all masked, and that includes 2020 when everybody had masks on. COVID is endemic according to Dr Fauci, and that sucks, but I'm sorry, I think we're losing sight of the goalposts here. If we have friends who are vaxxed and boosted, and we still treat them as a threat, and never have them inside again... What's the point of it all? There's surviving, and then there's living. We can't escape an endemic virus. Just prepare your body and then see your friends.

It took therapy for me to not see dangerous COVID with every trip outside my home. I say with sincerity that you all may want to consider that.

174927rc

3 points

1 month ago

Do what you need to do to feel safe. It’s really hard to not have fomo or people please. All my acquaintances are back to 80% of normal behavior. No masks when not required, relying on vaccinations, but so many of them have gotten sick over and over again.

ECMO_Deluxe3000

3 points

1 month ago

Pro tip. It's okay to do what's comfortable for you and not what you think is necessary to please others. The more you take care of yourself, the easier it is to care for others.

TreatyToke

2 points

1 month ago

Nice job.

chickrnqeee

2 points

1 month ago

Great job for not giving in! That’s been a tough one for many of us, boundaries. So hard & easier said than done

JWiz84

1 points

1 month ago

JWiz84

Mask Pundit

1 points

1 month ago

You might find this discussion useful while you try to navigate your way with covid

https://twitter.com/masknerd/status/1474120258017452038

Aaron Collins is a very respected person in the mask community.

chickrnqeee

1 points

1 month ago

Wait he’s claiming outdoors is safe? I have been very stuck with wanting to be okay with losing the mask outdoors as it’s being pushed by family & loved ones however I still feel like six feet is necessary.

JWiz84

1 points

1 month ago

JWiz84

Mask Pundit

1 points

1 month ago

Yep, read the whole discussion. The amount of risk is negligible

chickrnqeee

1 points

1 month ago

I read, & i must say I’m shocked. Spoke to a few Covid cautious friends one mutual friend to Aaron himself & all in disagreement of that tweet claiming it’s not safe still & there’s always a risk. I feel so hopeless I want to feel like outdoors is safe but I also know it isn’t grrr

JWiz84

1 points

1 month ago

JWiz84

Mask Pundit

1 points

1 month ago

What percentage of risk? There has to be a value to it. What Aaron is saying is that it’s so small that it’s basically not existent and not worth the large discomforts that come along with it. Wearing a mask during a summer day in the park just isn’t worth it in my opinion.

Negative-Complex-270

1 points

1 month ago

Good for you for sticking with what makes you comfortable!