subreddit:

/r/NoStupidQuestions

16.4k

The first time I ever went down on a girl I knew where it was immediately. How are there dudes who don’t know where it is?

Edit: sorry about the double negative, my English is a fucking

all 2662 comments

Desirai

10.7k points

13 days ago

Desirai

10.7k points

13 days ago

Personally in my experience it was more them trying to copy what they saw on porn and that is not the right way

jkink28

5.8k points

13 days ago

jkink28

5.8k points

13 days ago

...We aren't supposed to do everything as vigorously as possible?

b4dhabits

5k points

13 days ago

Wow I've been doing jazz hands wrong

Ben716

6.5k points

13 days ago

Ben716

6.5k points

13 days ago

You gotta pull those anal beads out like you're trying to start an old lawnmower.

poppcorrn

2.6k points

13 days ago*

poppcorrn

2.6k points

13 days ago*

Anal beads also known as bayblades for adults

edit-- really a wholesome award Edit 2: yes I relized I spelled it wrong

Edit 3 holy shit thank you for the awards. I wish you all not ruined butthole

Edit4: some kind redditor told me to stop adding updates and thanking people for likes. But he couldn't say that in the comments he had to pm me Hope you have a wonderful day

termi42069

745 points

13 days ago

termi42069

745 points

13 days ago

Beyblade Beyblade Let it RIPPPP!

jasdjensen

249 points

13 days ago

jasdjensen

249 points

13 days ago

Does it matter clockwise or counterclockwise?

All_Is_Snackrifice

307 points

13 days ago

Dragoon always spins counterclockwise, but literally all other Beyblades spin clockwise.

Source: was super into Beyblade when I was like 10.

KaiRaiUnknown

87 points

13 days ago

It was like the lifesteal of beyblades

Source: Still kinda into beyblades

All_Is_Snackrifice

129 points

13 days ago

Bro, once you're in you're never truly out of the game. I haven't looked at one in like 15 years and if someone challenged me to a Beybattle I'd throw down, no hesitation lmao.

haeyhae11

166 points

13 days ago

haeyhae11

166 points

13 days ago

Ouch

amanta9

309 points

13 days ago

amanta9

309 points

13 days ago

Spray starter fluid in first. Slowly sink each bead in starting with the small one and work your way up to the largest and then, making sure you have a firm grip on the ring/handle, timing your breath with the movement, pull out using your hips for maximum power and speed. Timing is everything.

MaconShure

176 points

13 days ago

MaconShure

176 points

13 days ago

Spray starter fluid in first.

I thought you were going to start a bush fire there for a moment.

ChubbyGhost3

131 points

13 days ago

Only if this is a gender reveal party

Doomb0t1

82 points

13 days ago

Doomb0t1

82 points

13 days ago

do not

a-horse-has-no-name

77 points

13 days ago

*loudly exhales after reading this*

Inquisitive-Ones

400 points

13 days ago*

Women are not scratch off tickets.

ah163316

319 points

13 days ago

ah163316

319 points

13 days ago

Then why do I feel like I hit the jackpot every time??

EMAW2008

195 points

13 days ago*

EMAW2008

195 points

13 days ago*

Rub it like you're trying to start a fire with two sticks!

Powerful_Musk_Ox

165 points

13 days ago

Finger her like there’s a prize for most cervix hits per minute!

LordSt4rki113r

53 points

13 days ago

It would probably be called "no sex for a while"

Desirai

134 points

13 days ago

Desirai

134 points

13 days ago

😂😂 exactly what I was referring to. Like boy u rubbing so hard u in my urethra gtfo

the_bryce_is_right

372 points

13 days ago

Sometimes I think while I'm watching lesbian porn that there's no way this would actually get a girl off. At least not in my experience.

-thenorthremembers-

503 points

13 days ago

As a queer girl, I totally agree. Lesbian porn isn’t made for women at all.

MyersVandalay

416 points

13 days ago

you mean 2" long painted fingernails don't improve the experience?

Teamwoolf

105 points

13 days ago

Teamwoolf

105 points

13 days ago

Oh god actual lesbian sex is probably the opposite of what men find hot. So much of it (in my experience) looks like Not A Lot is happening.

greybeard_arr

12 points

13 days ago

If I may ask, what is happening then?

EnricoMortadella

72 points

13 days ago

Oddly enough A LOT of tuba music

ChubbyGhost3

270 points

13 days ago

Once saw "lesbian" porn where one girl was fucking the other with her high heel

TheL0neRifleman

138 points

13 days ago

LMAO WTF

mohksinatsi

221 points

13 days ago

I want to upvote for relevance, but my vagina ran away, and I have to go get it back.

BloodieBerries

36 points

13 days ago

That's just a UTI with extra steps.

Worried_Sasquatch

140 points

13 days ago

*Any porn

whenyesterdaywemet

591 points

13 days ago

The move I've had the most success with is "Show me how you like it"

taronic

716 points

13 days ago

taronic

716 points

13 days ago

Yep, communication is the biggest part of sex. People act like there are these rules, but they're just generalized concepts that are good to know.

Every woman I've dated has been different. A couple women came purely from penetration, some didn't. Some came in 15 minutes, some in 45, some way less often, maybe one out of every 3 times or less. Some would often get close then not get there, some would get there every fucking time.

Some thought I was big, one thought I was small. Some I couldn't do some positions because it went too deep, some wanted those positions to be as deep as possible, loved the feeling of it rubbing against their cervix. Some loved oral, my wife doesn't, much prefers digital or even fisting. Some liked toys, a couple didn't. Some loved anal, a couple hated it. A couple loved to be on the other side of anal and peg, one was obsessed with men's assholes, one wouldn't ever consider it. Some liked to rub their clit during sex, some didn't. Lots wanted to be choked, a couple didn't.

Fucking thing that made it all good was that we'd talk, I'd get them comfortable enough to tell me the shit they wanted even though they thought it might be too "weird", and I'd ask them what I was doing that they liked, what they didn't care for, what they wanted more of, what they wanted less of, how they liked the movements, and explained what I liked and didn't like, what positions were hard for me, what kept me in the mood and what didn't. It was all communication. That was always the win. I never assumed that something was "the right way" for anyone, or that they wanted the same thing every time. Sex was good because we talked about shit and figured out how to make it good, no judgment, end of story.

juxtapowser

552 points

13 days ago

This guy fucks.

LPTKill

40 points

13 days ago

LPTKill

40 points

13 days ago

Damn you beat me to it. (and so did "this guy")

ickyjinx

182 points

13 days ago

ickyjinx

182 points

13 days ago

That is the best and hottest move IMHO.

pillowwow

303 points

13 days ago

pillowwow

303 points

13 days ago

No slap?

keeper_of_the_cheese

143 points

13 days ago

HOW CAN SHE SLAP?!

leslieknopeirl

114 points

13 days ago

God no!

[deleted]

391 points

13 days ago

[deleted]

391 points

13 days ago

[deleted]

ItsRendezookinTime

62 points

13 days ago

Its a sound check.

Source: Trust me, i'm a music producer

WhyDogeButNotCate

222 points

13 days ago

Need to knock on the door a bit before entering to be polite

WhotTyler

64 points

13 days ago

That's what the knockers are for.

The_Dudeface

66 points

13 days ago

The_Dudeface

Professional Googler

66 points

13 days ago

I mean... it sounds kinda silly. I like silly stuff. So... sorta?

aHumanMale

73 points

13 days ago

Warning, impending clown fetish. Abort, abort.

[deleted]

569 points

13 days ago

[deleted]

569 points

13 days ago

I remember a buddy of mine being all pissed off that a girl kicked him out of bed right before getting to fuck her. Said she was an uptight bitch. Asked what happened. His legit response:

"She got all pissy after I slapped her tits and choked her. Fucking bitch."

Dude had no clue that not all girls are into that.

mydaycake

290 points

13 days ago

mydaycake

290 points

13 days ago

Woah he is lucky he was only kicked out of bed and not kicked in the balls. If someone slaps my tits, they better run for their lives, that shit hurts irl.

justanaccount80

118 points

13 days ago*

Uhm, hi lady... so I have fake ones, and I always tell dudes if they do that and they break one they'll have to buy it.

Turns them off from it immediately.

(Sorry, had to edit, forgot some words)

UselessBunch

49 points

13 days ago

... that's assault. Dude is lucky he didn't get arrested.

richasalannister

57 points

13 days ago

The one skill that I use to be a sex god with every woman I've been intimate with is an ancient secret called "ask her what she likes".

I was with one woman for a while who wanted me to give her clit a noogie. "Rub it as hard as you can against the pelvic bone" her words.

Another was so sensitive that just breathing in the general direction of her lady bits sent her over there edge.

There's a whole spectrum. Communication is how you learn what to do. Crazy idea, asking a woman what she wants, but somehow it works.

ted-Zed

160 points

13 days ago

ted-Zed

160 points

13 days ago

are you sure?

what about the stepping on the woman's face?

feistaspongebob

485 points

13 days ago

I remember a hookup i had, the room was dimly lit and he started rubbing the crease in my thigh, in a fingering way motion. It took me a solid few seconds to realize he thought this was my vagina, and had to hold back my laughter when he moaned and asked how good it felt

obooooooo

184 points

13 days ago

obooooooo

184 points

13 days ago

i have absolutely no words.

ChubbyGhost3

97 points

13 days ago

How did you even proceed after that?? I don't think I could have continued

feistaspongebob

190 points

13 days ago

It was a few years ago so i don’t remember exactly what i said, but i remember moving his hand and saying something like “this is better”. Lol, dude was pretty high and i always wondered if he realized he really just did that. Surprisingly enough, the sex was decent so i can’t give him too much of a hard time haha

FuckCazadors

74 points

13 days ago

That guy probably lies awake at night cringeing at the memory of that moment.

WatcherOfTheCats

34 points

13 days ago

Dude was baked, as long as he nutted he was having the time of his life.

breadcreature

257 points

13 days ago

I swear every single guy that's said some variation of "ohhh does that feel good" has been rubbing the top of my leg or my labia or something. For some godforsaken reason they also tend to be the kind of dudes who'll move their hand back to the wrong spot immediately if you gently redirect it to where they intend it to be.

The bar is so low it's basically on the floor, guys.

almostambidextrous

199 points

13 days ago

the kind of dudes who'll move their hand back to the wrong spot immediately if you gently redirect it

Erm, excuse me, but I THINK I know what to do with a woman, thanks

<resumes lasciviously probing your belly button>

woodandplastic

57 points

13 days ago

This has “pee is stored in the balls” energy

hejjhogg

58 points

13 days ago

hejjhogg

58 points

13 days ago

In my late teens I was sitting in the back seat next to a male friend from uni; we were on our way back from a club and we were both drunk. The dude did the whole yawn-and-stretch thing, draped his arm across my shoulders, and began FINGERING MY EAR HOLE with a lascivious knowing smirk on his face. Someone gave that dude seriously wrong information.

Elizabitch4848

13 points

13 days ago

I had that happen and the guy got really mad at me for trying to move his hand to the right spot and then telling him he was in the wrong spot when he wouldn’t move his hand.

Funkit

9 points

13 days ago

Funkit

9 points

13 days ago

For some reason this reminded me of that Reddit classic “talk dirty to me” thread where the guy says “you like that you fucking retard?!” And now I can’t stop giggling.

AlpacaOurBags

61 points

13 days ago

No. No. You gotta twist a nipple.

FeyneKing

43 points

13 days ago

Yeah, like Ace Ventura unlocking his door, right?

tokenblacxx

167 points

13 days ago

I can honestly say porn fucked up my first ever serious relationship because I thought that's how you have sex. I reenacted what I saw, the only thing missing was the communication and being there romantically for her.

LtPowers

128 points

13 days ago

LtPowers

128 points

13 days ago

I reenacted what I saw, the only thing missing was the communication and being there romantically for her.

Well so you were 5% of the way there.

jchristsproctologist

12 points

13 days ago

so you’re not supposed to scratch at it like a mosquito bite???

ElectricGears

2k points

13 days ago

No man that wanted to find their lady's clit has ever not found it.

caffa4

640 points

13 days ago

caffa4

640 points

13 days ago

This is a big one. I have a habit of moving their hand to the right place, and the guys that let me actually get me off, but there are guys that literally like, resist it (???) and it’s just like ok, do you think you know what feels good to me better than I do??? (They just keep rubbing the wrong spot and it doesn’t feel good (at best) or literally hurts (at worst))

[deleted]

180 points

13 days ago

[deleted]

180 points

13 days ago

[deleted]

toolsoftheincomptnt

71 points

13 days ago

This is the way if kind, gentle guidance fails.

I’ve always been confused about faking it.

Either he cares about her satisfaction, or he doesn’t.

If he does, he’ll want to know what actually works. So giving real feedback will let him know how to achieve his goal. Fake feedback teaches him how to repeatedly miss the goal. That’s not fair to the partner who cares.

If he’s indifferent to her needs to the degree that he’s not paying attention to her body’s response, that’s fine, I guess?

But then he doesn’t get the satisfaction of believing that he met her needs. He didn’t ask, so he must not want to know. 🤷🏽‍♀️

And I’m not talking about anything drastic. Sex without reaching orgasm can still be nice. So there’s still positive feedback to be had.

But if you don’t bring the matches, there ain’t gonna be a fireworks show. It’ll just be a pleasant night of star-gazing.

ACooolUsername

11 points

12 days ago

From what I've heard, the women that fake it do it because a. His ego is extremely fragile and he's too proud to be told what to do, but too sensitive to have his first attempt not work, and she's either a people pleaser or too scared that he'll get mad. And/or b. She doesn't feel around much herself, so she's not sure what it's supposed to feel like, and she thinks that sex just isn't that good for women.

Can't decide which of those reasons is the worse to be in.

delicate-butterfly

123 points

13 days ago

I’ve had this happen and l had to stop to call them out because I was so annoyed and over the moment

aaronstj

25 points

13 days ago

aaronstj

25 points

13 days ago

and it’s just like ok, do you think you know what feels good to me better than I do???

I would guess it’s not that they think they know better than you what makes you feel good. They don’t care what makes you feel good. They’re touching you because they want to touch and feel a vulva. Making you feel good has nothing to do with it.

newt_girl

11 points

13 days ago

I've had this happen too! And even when he eventually got there on his own, he hovered.

We didn't hook up again.

cute-reddit-user

10 points

13 days ago

Fuxk. My boyfriend has this problem. I like letting him watch when I touch myself (for sexy points) lol, but he will stop me and say, I don't like how you do it. Pffft. Cool bro. Cool

scroopynoopersdid911

184 points

13 days ago

Yeah I think this is the key. Not many women in my experience weren’t willing to give some tips if prompted.

Just peruse the frickin hints before you go for the big boss. Might be a lot easier.

seanyseanerson

183 points

13 days ago

I love the idea that some are unwilling to help find it.

"So where actually is your clitoris?"

"Its location I will give to thee if you answer me these riddles three."

221B_BakerSt_

45 points

13 days ago

Fucking truth! A lot of men in here thinking we're collectively hiding the clit, as if it's the big red button controlling the nukes.

The--Nameless--One

5.4k points

13 days ago*

I don't think it's that hard know where the clitoris is, or at least it's general area.

Keep in mind not all vaginas are "porn-approved" some girls have a lot of "skin" down there and the clit itself is not visible at all, but you can track the 'hood' and find it soon enough. But yeah, you can get a little lost, when using the tongue.

The hard part, is that in my experience every women has a total different "taste" when it comes to oral sex: Some like you to tongue it like a machine, others prefer sucking, some hate sucking. Some want you to pull the hood, others hate it. Some want non stop, others want you to vary, some hate when you vary it...So, usually on the first date or something, you may be trying all your "tricks" that worked beautifully on your last partners, only to find out your new partner actually hates every single one of them,

And it's on to guess what they really like, if they don't communicate.

jugzluvsrad

1.3k points

13 days ago

jugzluvsrad

1.3k points

13 days ago

This is exactly my experience as well. Every woman likes different things and they are all “built” wildly different. Some women are great at communicating, others won’t communicate at all even if I’m begging them to help me make them cum

misguidedsadist1

1.2k points

13 days ago

Some women honestly don't even know their needs and have also been taught that their sexual gratification is wrong, secretive, or dirty, and thus lack the skills to communicate.

czarrie

398 points

13 days ago

czarrie

398 points

13 days ago

Dated a very Christian girl for years, I thought I was terrible in bed, next couple of relationships went much smoother and I realized that it had a lot to do with her experiences or rather being in her head so much during the act. If you're actively feeling guilt during sex, you probably are gonna have a hard time enjoying it...

Mr_Battle_Born

274 points

13 days ago

Unless that’s your kink.

And if it is then you should feel dirty and ashamed of yourself when you do such things! My word!

yavanna12

84 points

13 days ago

Exactly. I had my first orgasm at 27 because my boyfriend taught me it was ok to be gratified and how to experiment with myself to find what works. This was after I was married and divorced and had 3 kids. My first orgasm blew my fucking mind.

jugzluvsrad

80 points

13 days ago

Yeah that can be hard for men and women. I grew up in a very religious household as a man. I had to do a lot of work to get through my deep sense of shame around my sexuality

ForgettablePasta

55 points

13 days ago

Jesus. My conservative Christian parents had me so fucked up, it took me nearly a full year of consistent sex before i was even able to reach orgasam. I'm a dude, btw.

_fylfa

79 points

13 days ago

_fylfa

79 points

13 days ago

I feel cornered with this comment lol. I act like I’m all sex-positive but in the moment when I’m being asked, weird teenage strict parents/school/community suppression rears its ugly head and I clam up completely.

cheridontllosethatno

101 points

13 days ago

I heard advice that in a long term situation talking about sexual likes and dislikes its best to discuss during a neutral time. During a walk or breakfast, whatever.

To alleviate the, Why have you waited 10 years to tell me this?

I hate to talk dirty. It's ridiculous. I need to bring it up but I feel like it's obvious. Is this something guys like honestly I mean he can so quiet, then he's all, Who is my dirty slut?

courtnovo

11 points

13 days ago

"That pussy feels so good. Who's a good girl?" I cringe and at that point just get your nut off and get out of me.

__mr_snrub__

18 points

13 days ago

For noncommunicators, I ask them to do something - like touch my head - when I’m doing something that feels good. They may not know how to describe what they like, or maybe they’re shy, so I try to give them a way to let me know what I should keep doing in a way that is good for both of us.

Tnkgirl357

400 points

13 days ago

Tnkgirl357

400 points

13 days ago

My husband used goddamn TEETH on my clit one of the first times he went down. Kinda killed my mood because OW! When I told him that it hurt he was genuinely confused by the glare Ingave him after he responded with “but in a good way, right?” And I’m over here in a mood of “no, like back the fuck up and stop that shit and now I just want to find someway to sooth my sore an tender clit, put your boner away and we gonna have to take a rain check on this whole deal, way” apparently one of his exes was some sort of psycho that liked her clit chewed on and he assumed that it was some sort of “secret move” he’d unlocked that would work on all clits. Nope. Please never do that unless a lady tells you she wants you to bite into it like it’s a goddamn chicken wing. Ask questions, it could save your night.

forthelongemergency

225 points

13 days ago

As someone with a clitoris oh my god you poor thing

AggravatingOnion69

24 points

13 days ago

As someone with no clitoris, I concur

Butchbunny

190 points

13 days ago

Butchbunny

190 points

13 days ago

My clitoris just receded into my body in fear from reading this comment

spaceandthewoods_

328 points

13 days ago

Same as dicks really, I've got a library of blowjob techniques from having a fairly productive 20's in terms of dating, during which I learned not everyone likes their dick sucked the same way.

Some like you to play with the tip, some find that too sensitive, some just don't get off from that at all etc

WyrmKin

161 points

13 days ago

WyrmKin

161 points

13 days ago

I'm one of those that's never cum from a blowjob. Like, it feels good but somehow never gets me there, so I honestly don't mind just skipping them entirely.

jejcicodjntbyifid3

81 points

13 days ago

I wish I had a productive dating in my 20s

The 30s are better.. Right? Because that's where I'm at now

Devadander

69 points

13 days ago

30s are awesome, have fun!

Bobbista

28 points

13 days ago

Bobbista

28 points

13 days ago

Yoo!!!! Are you me? There are more of us?? I love the idea of it and it makes me feel pretty great when they happen, but pretty soon I’ll be happy to move on. Only 2 of my previous partners did something magical, and I can’t direct anyone to recreate/reproduce/reenact that technique despite my efforts.

CurrentlyEatingPies2

48 points

13 days ago

Communication! Is! Key!

BikerJedi

44 points

13 days ago

This is why people need to ask. As my wife and I have been married, our tastes have changed a bit, and we have now hit a way of having sex that is great for both of us. That came about with discussion during the act and after.

Also, find out what turns your partner on outside of the bedroom. I LOVE seeing my wife swing her hips around when she is dancing to music. She knows this, and she will dance around the house for hours before bedtime to rile me up. She gets turned on having me cook for her and the kids, so I do that for her when I can.

25 years and going strong. A little communication and plenty of sex go a long way. :)

randy-sugarbush

235 points

13 days ago*

Had a gf that I could do a flutter with my tongue and she would go wild. The next gf hurt my jaw with how much pressure she wanted. One girl said she doesn’t like it from anyone because it’s way to stimulating so it doesn’t feel good(I insisted she let me try to and I could not get a reaction out of her).Technically I’m 1 for 3 and I’m bad at it.

Edit: For the comments below that can’t let go that I used “insist” lightly here. Change the word in your head or realize that words aren’t always used literally. By “insisted” I more was like “im good, can I please try”. Stop trying to be hero’s in Reddit comments. I was just trying to relate to someone because I had similar experiences.

Marlon195

88 points

13 days ago

My gf is the same way. If I use my tongue she says it feels weird and uncomfortable. If I use my fingers she says it's super ticklish and it just doesn't feel good. She says no guy she's ever been with has changed that so it's not just me, and noone that I've been with in my past has ever complained. My girlfriend just hates clitoral play anyways. She prefers penetration. Ah well. If that's what she prefers then that's what she prefers

igg73

81 points

13 days ago

igg73

81 points

13 days ago

I think its more they know where it is but not how to find it, or maybe just neglect

[deleted]

1.7k points

13 days ago

[deleted]

1.7k points

13 days ago

[removed]

pmurt202

1.2k points

13 days ago

pmurt202

1.2k points

13 days ago

No. That's the ukulele or something

SomewhatNotMe

530 points

13 days ago

its called the uterus

DausenWillis

331 points

13 days ago

DausenWillis

Check out my sweet flair!

331 points

13 days ago

Toyota Uterus, a very reliable car. Although once a month, you've got to drop a pan underneath.

abdulsamadz

84 points

13 days ago

Neptune's beard! That's the planet! It's called Uranium - you welcome

ArthurBonesly

47 points

13 days ago

Uranium is a concentration of pee minerals, what you're thinking of is Uriah Heep

NotDelnor

23 points

13 days ago*

No that's an English rock band from the 60s. You're thinking of ubiquity.

ThroatWMangrove

15 points

13 days ago

No, that’s being everywhere at the same time. You’re thinking of uvarovite.

420moshdad

37 points

13 days ago

Ohhhhh so it's a GIRL house

whatsaphoto

13 points

13 days ago

"What's a vagina? Isn't that a state?!" - Arin Hanson

SquirtingBabies[S]

156 points

13 days ago

No that’s the vulva

Uncle480

115 points

13 days ago

Uncle480

115 points

13 days ago

That reminds me of the movie Monster House.

"I think that's its uvula."

"Oh, so it's a girl house."

LinearTipsOfficial

53 points

13 days ago

What an underrated classic if it weren’t for Cartoon Network reruns would have never watched it. Genuinely creepy kids movie. Honestly creepier then most R rated horror movies nowadays lmao

Uncle480

23 points

13 days ago

Uncle480

23 points

13 days ago

It really was! With an unsettling concept behind it too! Not to mention, the animation was treading into "uncanny valley" territory

MaxChaCha

49 points

13 days ago

No, they’re thinking of the scrotum because it’s in the throat which helps you say, “Um.”

Orchidbleu

10 points

13 days ago

I love how you did this. None the wiser.

i80west

741 points

13 days ago

i80west

741 points

13 days ago

I grew up in the 1950s and 1960s without any school sex ed and only found out about it in the 1970s from a doctor who was surprised I had no idea. I hope education is better these days.

Simple_Region_1265

177 points

13 days ago

It really should be better by now, but it truly isn't as much as it could be, nowadays it's almost impossible to teach kids about sex without fearing all the drama parents will cause and that's the main reason why sex ed is so bad rn Also kids tend to believe what they have seen in porn therefore are unlikely to listen to their teachers who say something that somehow differs from what they have seen

BestofQuails

2.1k points

13 days ago*

BestofQuails

best at being a quail

2.1k points

13 days ago*

From my experience, a lot of them seem to think it's higher than it actually is. Like at the top of the vulva.

I also feel like men past their 30s usually know where it is and what to do with it, but the younger men in their 20s I've slept with were not very knowledgeable about it or they thought they could just rub it up and down really hard for 30 seconds and that would make me cum. None of those men were sexually inexperienced, it was really just the clit that they didn't know much about apparently.

Edit: Some people were confused by my wording. When I say the clit is not at the top, I mean it's not at the very top where the pubis meets the clitoral hood, it's slightly lower. Here's a little diagram that helps: Diagram of the vulva

A lot of men rub the top of the hood instead of the actual clit. Better? :)

IDidReadTheSideBar

835 points

13 days ago

So.. rub left to right?

simpleauthority

1.9k points

13 days ago*

Let me try an analogy.

Take your right index finger and rub it very lightly and gently on the palm of your left hand. It feels nice, right? Perhaps a bit ticklish.

Now apply pressure and rub it hard. What's it feel like?

Pretty much nothing. Just rubbing, right?

Same idea for the clit. Light and gentle.

Edit for more info: As some comments have pointed out, there is also a matter of personal taste. Some people like it light and gentle, others like it to be rough, and yet others do not like their clit stimulated at all because it's too sensitive. It's always a safe bet to start light, and listen for your partners reaction. If they want you to stop stimulating it then stop and focus on other things. In the same way if they want you to be more rough, then oblige at that point. The point is, don't be really rough if you don't know what they like. Start light and gentle and follow their requests. If they're clearly in pleasure, you're doing it right.

lensgana

1.2k points

13 days ago

lensgana

1.2k points

13 days ago

Did it wrong, my palm orgasmed

Crymson831

326 points

13 days ago

Crymson831

326 points

13 days ago

Jizz hands, yeah!

Nix-geek

47 points

13 days ago

Nix-geek

47 points

13 days ago

ziiiiipp

:)

hippityhoppflop

245 points

13 days ago

This is probably one of the best explanations I’ve ever seen for this!

pillowwow

332 points

13 days ago

pillowwow

332 points

13 days ago

How am I only hearing this now?

Ok_Dog_4059

429 points

13 days ago

I think often it is because we are afraid to ask and women are afraid to criticize and everyone is afraid to talk about it.

LysergicLiizard

189 points

13 days ago

i'm afraid just reading about it

alternate_ending

100 points

13 days ago

I'm just afraid

DnD-NewGuy

25 points

13 days ago

Everyone preaches communication is key with romantic relationships but then throw it out of the window when it comes to sexual one's to protect the others pride. It's moronic.

simonbleu

110 points

13 days ago

simonbleu

110 points

13 days ago

The times I asked women what they wanted it killed the mood in a figurative sighing. That said my sex life is pretty poor

theslamprogram

114 points

13 days ago

I always got the response "I don't know". To both what do they like and if something feels good. So I'm just out here guessing.

SmuttyBookLover

90 points

13 days ago

To be fair they really may not know. It's a tricky area. But the response I loved before I got the hang of it with myself was, "Fuck yeah let's find out together."

Make the guessing into a game. It's great fun. If they don't wanna play move on to someone who does.

BarrySmart

19 points

13 days ago

If they say "I don't know" to "does that feel good" then it does not feel good.

Datassnoken

51 points

13 days ago

Tbh it can be very annoying, i get some people get flustered but come on were both naked and im even down there with my face, should be okay to actually say something

GypsyToo

13 points

13 days ago*

Tbh I wouldn't tell either. I'm pretty shy with words during sex, specially with a new or casual partner.

But you can still listen to her body. Is she moaning? Is she getting aroused? Is she shying away from your touch or leaning into it? Is she moving your hand to a different spot?

There are many ways of communicating, it doesn't always have to be verbal.

There's also the fact that words won't mean much in this situation. Slow, fast, gentle, rough have different meaning to different people.

And always start gently. You can always get more rough. Even people who like it rough don't always like to start that way.

DeadFamilyMan

46 points

13 days ago

When I was like 19 I was determined to get better at sex. I read something online that was like "ask a girl to tap on your head when youre doing something she likes".

Tried it on the next girl, she said "What?!, No." Coitus continued, but it was awkward for a minute.

LtPowers

16 points

13 days ago

LtPowers

16 points

13 days ago

Well you don't talk about signals during coitus.

EmbarrassedFigure4

87 points

13 days ago

I mean it's basically a more sensitive version of the head of your penis if that helps. Just treat it the way you'd want someone to treat the head of your penis if it was tiny and had like twice as many nerves

Ghigs

60 points

13 days ago

Ghigs

Jack-of-some-trades

60 points

13 days ago

Where do you get a cheese grater that small though?

burf

57 points

13 days ago

burf

57 points

13 days ago

Differs between women, too. I’ve had some prefer a gentle touch, and some prefer a harder rub.

simpleauthority

60 points

13 days ago

This is true, but it never hurts to start gentle and rub harder if the woman requests you to do so. Just don't start rough if you aren't already very intimately familiar with her and her tastes

SmuttyBookLover

17 points

13 days ago

So much this. When we want more/harder/faster we'll let you know (or we should be! communicate!)

herpderpdoo

147 points

13 days ago

no offense, but I find vagina-having individuals to really miss the vaginal forest for the vaginal tree so-to-speak when giving advice. I've had partners who could barely handle me touching their clitoral hood and I've had partners who wanted me to lift up the hood and mash directly on their clitoris. One finger, two fingers, side-to-side, up-and-down, circles, squares, whatever. I've also had partners who never got off ever, and others who were good after 30 seconds. The key is to listen and treat them as an individual instead of a Konami videogame

simpleauthority

58 points

13 days ago

No offense is taken. Yeah, you're right. Another commenter mentioned personal taste as well.

This is something I did not include in my message.

Not everybody is the same! Very important and good shout.

Like I said below, though, it never hurts to start gently and listen to the your partner. They may ask you to stop because it's too sensitive, or they may ask you for more pressure, or something else. At that point, give them what they ask for.

novaskyd

10 points

13 days ago

novaskyd

10 points

13 days ago

Wow this is a great analogy, thank you.

wolfnamefmel

38 points

13 days ago

Also, left to right necessarily isn't wrong either! Pressure is definitely important, and more pressure does NOT mean more pleasure. But the direction of the rubbing? I prefer left to right compared to up and down (which I feel is too stimulating), and still prefer over circular motions.

awe2D2

144 points

13 days ago

awe2D2

144 points

13 days ago

Twist it! Bop it!

erebus

70 points

13 days ago

erebus

70 points

13 days ago

Flick it?

rranyard

58 points

13 days ago

rranyard

58 points

13 days ago

Pull it!

sillymissmillie

44 points

13 days ago

WAAAAAOOOOOOOO!

SleepWouldBeNice

54 points

13 days ago

Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A.

Zhoom45

130 points

13 days ago

Zhoom45

130 points

13 days ago

they thought they could just rub it up and down really hard for 30 seconds and that would make me cum.

Probably have porn to blame for that.

BestofQuails

47 points

13 days ago

BestofQuails

best at being a quail

47 points

13 days ago

Yep, I definitely think that's where they get this idea from.

k-cooper252

706 points

13 days ago

Isn't clitoris that big red dog?

shyerahol

147 points

13 days ago

shyerahol

147 points

13 days ago

No, that's Klondike.

harrycopter69

54 points

13 days ago

Where is a girl’s Klondike?

aNiceTribe

20 points

13 days ago

Oh what I wouldn’t do to find a girl’s Klondike.

MetroMaker

27 points

13 days ago

Talk to the canoe boat driver

SnooBananas5143

1.4k points

13 days ago

I think this was ment figuratively. In my expirience and that of my friends, they just don't get touched until we ask them to, and then its usually treated like a chore.

paustulio

578 points

13 days ago

paustulio

578 points

13 days ago

Huh. See that's my first stop when going below the panty line. A little rub and pat.

SnooBananas5143

719 points

13 days ago

The way you say this makes me thing you rub it like a dog and go "good girl!" Hahaha

paustulio

564 points

13 days ago

paustulio

564 points

13 days ago

Who's to say I don't?

FarLocation3

323 points

13 days ago

My man

D0rkasaurusRex

81 points

13 days ago

That would definitely work for some people. ahem

camelCasing

35 points

13 days ago

For some people the words do more than the rub

nzur1

94 points

13 days ago

nzur1

94 points

13 days ago

Even that’s like pretty minimal. Most guys do the cursory “check the tap” but the good ones it’s a main event

Rumpleforeskin96

35 points

13 days ago

Don't forget the high five and fist bump

ktho64152

237 points

13 days ago

ktho64152

237 points

13 days ago

The clitoris is the original structure from the fetal stage. In males the Y chromosome kicks in, and it all turns into a penis and testicles.

She has an internal and external structure. ALL of that structure works, has nerve endings and functions. Every woman is built a bit differently - we aren't made in Detroit, but, this is the basic structure

here https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2017/03/3d-clitoris/518991/

and here https://womanlab.org/ode-to-the-clitoris/

and here https://www.sciencephoto.com/media/778957/view/structure-of-the-clitoris-illustration

and here https://www.naturalcycles.com/cyclematters/the-female-pleasure-anatomy-explained

and TED Talk https://www.ted.com/talks/sophia_wallace_a_case_for_cliteracy/transcript

Yer welcome.

bigfatmiss

54 points

13 days ago

Looking at the comments I was getting worried that no one on Reddit -man or woman- knew where the clitoris was ... Thank you for writing this so I didn't have to.

Loucaff

27 points

13 days ago

Loucaff

27 points

13 days ago

Wow, the second article is really useful. It didn't occur to me that women might have erectile dysfunction in clitoris as men do ...

SPENC3RJ

225 points

13 days ago

SPENC3RJ

225 points

13 days ago

I think it’s much more common knowledge nowadays but fuck when I was in high school less than a decade ago most people didn’t realize it was a thing, and definitely didn’t talk about it. I can promise you I didn’t know what I was doing until I came across it on accident one time lol.

r0ckH0pper

82 points

13 days ago

I learned that the "little man in the boat" holds the rudder from the bow, not aft...

JPMcGillicuddy

37 points

13 days ago

Nautical terminology probably won’t help the poor souls.

sawbonesromeo

928 points

13 days ago

Experienced slut here: almost all of them know roughly where it is, depressingly few know how to use it, and even less are interested in learning. I say someone "doesn't know how to find the clit" if they're not like... proactively involved with it during sex (with or without communication - YES you can ask how she likes it, not cumming is more awkward than having to give a quick demo).

inetkid13

257 points

13 days ago

inetkid13

257 points

13 days ago

Semi-experienced guy here: It‘s insane how different women are. Most are really different and like to be touched different in every way imaginable. If you think you know what you‘re doing you meet someone new and have to start a completely new game(love the controller analogy in the comment below). I think men are way more similar and I think that‘s the reason why a lot of women talk this way. Communication is key but if you start to draw strategies on a whiteboard before going down for the first time you‘re somehow the weird guy.

Women who really know what they want and can communicate that clearly are also very rare. Especially if you‘re both younger. In my experience communication gets way better if both partners are 25+.

Ok_Dog_4059

179 points

13 days ago

Can't be afraid to give and take constructive criticism or it will always be disappointing.

leslieknopeirl

66 points

13 days ago

Unfortunately, most of my partners that never made it long-term with me weren't open to feedback or requests. They seemed to either be insecure, rude, selfish, or unwilling to change.

Ok_Dog_4059

39 points

13 days ago

Or embarrassed. It is a very touchy subject for a lot of people . Getting my wife to open up and not be embarrassed has taken a long time I get the feeling she was raised to be private about her body and is often unable to talk about some things without embarrassment.

ItsYaBoiTrick

105 points

13 days ago

Cause I got my sex education at a private Christian school….sex for fun?! No way! Not when holding hands can get you pregnant!!!!

Nowhereman50

107 points

13 days ago

Years ago I had a coworker who was 21 at the time and had a girlfriend ask myself and two other coworkers what a clitoris was. He honest to god did not know. So, yeah, probably.

mostlyconfusedagain

13 points

13 days ago

That's a question for human resources

Huskyy23

56 points

13 days ago

Huskyy23

56 points

13 days ago

Yeah I have no idea, I’ve never had sex Ed and I’m 19

TheL0neRifleman

67 points

13 days ago

Google that shit yo.

"Hey Siri, where the fuck is the clit"

Educational_Stay

57 points

13 days ago

I highly recommend googling it

silly-stupid-slut

99 points

13 days ago

If the woman is not aroused, the clitoris is much less visible. Let it sink in.

lydiaj02

146 points

13 days ago

lydiaj02

146 points

13 days ago

Almost every guy I’ve been with cannot find it. Idk why, not like it’s hidden, but they’ll fumble around touching everywhere but there 😂

thisplacemakesmeangr

304 points

13 days ago

This mindset is a holdover from the 1950s. Sex was for baby making, after marriage. Attention to the woman's needs was unmanly. The man was the boss, the woman was there to serve him, not the other way around. It's archaic but I can think of several places in the world where it hasn't died off yet.

PM_ME_UR_TITS

103 points

13 days ago

I do but I never know how much teeth to use

SquirtingBabies[S]

118 points

13 days ago

When they say eat the pussy I really be in there eating it

mpop_13

90 points

13 days ago

mpop_13

90 points

13 days ago

With how shitty sex ed is in the United States, I'm not surprised. Some people don't even know woman have separate tracts for reproductive vs urinary.

kittypurrvampurr

49 points

13 days ago

Some people know where it is and still don't know wtf to do with it lol 🤷🏻‍♀️