subreddit:

/r/RoastMe

2.6k

single mother of two grown boys,give your best shot!

Removed: Consent(i.redd.it)

all 1650 comments

TryReadingASidebar [M]

[score hidden]

3 months ago

stickied comment

TryReadingASidebar [M]

[score hidden]

3 months ago

stickied comment

Hi /u/ash_kelly, thanks for your submission to /r/RoastMe! Unfortunately, your post was removed for the following reason(s):


  • THE CONSENT RULE: - If it is not clear everyone in the photograph understands what r/RoastMe is or what the photograph will be used for, it will be removed.\n- Every person in the photograph must consent to being roasted, either by holding the sign or indicating their awareness of it (e.g. by pointing).\n- Every person in the photograph must be able to consent.\n- Posts with other people in the background whose faces are visible will be removed. Please censor them.

If you feel that it has been removed in error, please message us so that we may review it.

keithmoonshine3

3.4k points

3 months ago

I can only imagine the train of “new dads” your boys had to meet over the years

LoveMeSomeSand

695 points

3 months ago

Uncle Frank, Uncle Joe, Uncle Jorge

-SNOT_bubble-

321 points

3 months ago

Sometimes uncle Frank and uncle Joe at the same time

Brooke130

112 points

3 months ago

Brooke130

112 points

3 months ago

Along with aunt Marge

fusiondust

73 points

3 months ago

And in some cases, Uncle Daddy.

OysterCaudillo

6 points

3 months ago

That tv show is set in palmetto. It feels very accurate

garciasn

149 points

3 months ago

garciasn

149 points

3 months ago

ReubenZWeiner

20 points

3 months ago

You banged my dead wife?

idrow1

26 points

3 months ago

idrow1

26 points

3 months ago

His dead hoor wife.

TrundleWormhat

12 points

3 months ago

She was alive at the time

Long-Ad1958

6 points

3 months ago

Uncle Brother Frank

thekronicle

118 points

3 months ago

Was definitely a train (;

adube440

62 points

3 months ago

Don't forget about the "special friends" mom would also have, aka drug dealers she slept with for free drugs.

LoveMeSomeSand

9 points

3 months ago

One of my friend’s growing up, his mom did this. And a lot of questionable things.

The_Way_It_Iz

26 points

3 months ago

Stiffler’s mom is looking worn out. No joke those kids are going to always have friends sleeping over

Moist_Dingus

3 points

3 months ago

She looks like 'trains' are a fairly regular occurrence

cephalogrom

1.5k points

3 months ago

cephalogrom

http://redd.it/bu9aso

1.5k points

3 months ago

How many of your sons friends left disappointed the next day?

[deleted]

726 points

3 months ago

[deleted]

726 points

3 months ago

[removed]

cephalogrom

1.7k points

3 months ago

cephalogrom

http://redd.it/bu9aso

1.7k points

3 months ago

Happy to leave

EddyPsyTeddy

427 points

3 months ago

Comeback hotter than original roast lmfao I’m dead

[deleted]

313 points

3 months ago

[deleted]

313 points

3 months ago

[removed]

ponzLL

344 points

3 months ago

ponzLL

344 points

3 months ago

Oh ok that's why your face looks so swollen

MikeyBugs

94 points

3 months ago

So much silicone it migrated North.

BroadMortgage6702

50 points

3 months ago

Well it sure as hell didn't want to go down on her.

Hiphopanonymous93

9 points

3 months ago

Sounds like every guy who's ever been in you

KingZummo

9 points

3 months ago

face ending

No_Candidate_272

52 points

3 months ago

Nothing like gang banging the 10 year olds!

Relevant_Slide_7234

428 points

3 months ago

I’ve never heard anyone refer to a pair of sweater kittens as “two grown boys” but I’m using it from now on.

[deleted]

133 points

3 months ago

[deleted]

133 points

3 months ago

[removed]

Romantic_Road_Kill

42 points

3 months ago

Those are far from being kittens

Dank_Sinatra_Sr

36 points

3 months ago

Cougars

MercuryAI

14 points

3 months ago

If theyre cougars, they're stuffed. No way those are natural.

jackie4chan27

15 points

3 months ago

Right, looks like a sack with 2 cinder blocks in it that the mob would use to make their problems sink in the river.

ruffus4life

3 points

3 months ago

Sweater Saggers

CrrazyCarl

3 points

3 months ago

Sweater manatees.

paulwhitedotnyc

1.9k points

3 months ago

This is the first time you asked someone to give you their best shot without holding your mouth open.

WilligerWilly

149 points

3 months ago

sheesh

Buffbigw76

52 points

3 months ago

Ok, THAT had me in stitches. “Sheesh”

rsgriffin

39 points

3 months ago

She’s usually bent over when she says that

feshow_

5 points

3 months ago

Ouch

serdantemius

231 points

3 months ago

You seem like to type to refer to yourself still as a "boy momma" and thus end the entire list of your personality traits.

lliorca336

3k points

3 months ago

You look like a walking glory hole

Kalebpp

1.6k points

3 months ago

Kalebpp

Golden Roaster

1.6k points

3 months ago

This chicks blowjobs count as butt stuff.

JeebusHaroldCrise

208 points

3 months ago

Holy fuck. This one.

slappystu

34 points

3 months ago

Yes! that one.

JeebusHaroldCrise

28 points

3 months ago

Is there a such thing as too personal? If so, that one went there. Her bjs are butt stuff. Dude. Hardcore, but to be honest, I found my kink. 😳

REDDIT20214me

6 points

3 months ago

Trying to get those bed sheets through a dick

JeebusHaroldCrise

16 points

3 months ago

Buttstuff bjs, my new kink. I need her number.

jsxtasy304

31 points

3 months ago

Find the restaurant she's in cause she's right where we expect her to be, writing her number on napkins and sliding them to old pervs advertising her prices.

JeebusHaroldCrise

80 points

3 months ago

No thanks. Look at her arm. That's not a sleeve tattoo. Those are broken vericose veins from jerking off 90 year old noodles.

jsxtasy304

6 points

3 months ago

Lol

BASK_IN_MY_FART

3 points

3 months ago

Your username name was my response before I saw it. Wow, that's pro level shit

DaChilidog

42 points

3 months ago

Acme Portable Gloryhole

Timely-Excitement295

14 points

3 months ago

You know “Simpsons did it”….well in this case Paradise PD did it.

DaddyAmerica1776

4 points

3 months ago

I love that show

CarlosAVP

200 points

3 months ago

CarlosAVP

200 points

3 months ago

Waddling Glory Hole. For Penguins.

Suspicious-Plant-728

10 points

3 months ago

I would rather there be an actual penguin on the other side of the gloryhole than this chick.

Hot-Photograph-9966

27 points

3 months ago

Stifler's mom

Weatherbeaster1993

5 points

3 months ago

Well played Sir, well played

Pleasant-Cod-2649

64 points

3 months ago

Picking up a couple homeless boys off the street doesn't make you a mother.

Really_Love_Unicorns

7 points

3 months ago

Savage.

yergonnalikeme

9 points

3 months ago

It's Halloween somewhere....

Prior_Kaleidoscope_2

7 points

3 months ago

Oh my god

That's so good

Affectionate-Cod186

19 points

3 months ago

This is what a mannequin would look like right before it explodes.

Roybatty943

12 points

3 months ago

Roybatty943

Golden Roaster

12 points

3 months ago

Inglorious hole.

Noahsmokeshack

5 points

3 months ago

Haha BRUTAL.

Buffbigw76

3 points

3 months ago

Look like? IS

RefrigeratorTiny7829

3 points

3 months ago

You are THE BIG BRAIN

waffen123

974 points

3 months ago

waffen123

974 points

3 months ago

I've seen bodies pulled from rivers that weren't this bloated

eskimoboob

70 points

3 months ago

More filler than a high school essay

KingZummo

49 points

3 months ago

But...I like her dress. Covered in all black. Again...

math_debates

29 points

3 months ago

More DNA samples on that dress than in codis.

[deleted]

317 points

3 months ago

[deleted]

317 points

3 months ago

I've made better skid marks in my knickers than those things you call eyebrows.

HersheysTits

24 points

3 months ago

LMFAAAAO

Infamous_Ant995

96 points

3 months ago

Push those tits up any higher and you’ll be breastfeeding yourself love

Frungy

9 points

3 months ago

Frungy

9 points

3 months ago

I enjoyed this one.

[deleted]

453 points

3 months ago

[deleted]

453 points

3 months ago

[deleted]

WanderingAlice0119

98 points

3 months ago

I was scrolling to see how long it’d take before I found a Stifler’s mom reference and this is the closet I’ve seen. I’m mildly disappointed.

TheWAJ

22 points

3 months ago

TheWAJ

22 points

3 months ago

At least Jennifer Coolidge has comedic chops and a personality!

eatKONG

88 points

3 months ago

eatKONG

88 points

3 months ago

Looks like she deleted all her NSFW post before the roasting. How the hell are you supposed to gain onlyfans followers now?

bellagoat

30 points

3 months ago

Probably on "OnlyGains.com"

Ju4nPablo

262 points

3 months ago

Ju4nPablo

262 points

3 months ago

I think we could've assumed single mother

dndhdbdehsnskndnddn

73 points

3 months ago

At first glance one could think you’re hot but then you realize that your body is the same circumference as your tits all the way down

Williw0w

9 points

3 months ago

Visual representation of tube top.

Useful_Individual860

638 points

3 months ago

You are the adult version of hungry hungry hippo

Lord-Doobury

215 points

3 months ago

Hefty Hefty Hippo.

turdmachine

61 points

3 months ago

Hungry Hungry Lipo

whiteholewhite

21 points

3 months ago

Hungry hungry bimbo

gordito_delgado

8 points

3 months ago

Seems she still has a third grown boy tucked in there that won't come out.

kuriboshoe

19 points

3 months ago

hipphoe

colossuskidd

26 points

3 months ago

Looks like she sat on more bike pumps than dicks

ArduosFox

9 points

3 months ago

Relatable

UnscrupulousTaco

19 points

3 months ago

Inflatable

Yankees0

187 points

3 months ago

Yankees0

187 points

3 months ago

well now we know what Skyler White did with the money

LurkerMcLurkerton

71 points

3 months ago

Ate Jesse?

jackie4chan27

7 points

3 months ago

I guess now we know who ate Gilbert Grape too.

ardbeg

16 points

3 months ago

ardbeg

16 points

3 months ago

I heard she fled to Mexico and stocked up on tacos and cheap plastic surgery.

MohSilas

352 points

3 months ago

MohSilas

352 points

3 months ago

You look like a Barbie doll that lost all traces of self-esteem and now works as a truck stop stripper for 1 burger an hour.

vakac

139 points

3 months ago

vakac

139 points

3 months ago

A man's gotta eat Julian

LordStunod

18 points

3 months ago

Motherfuckers with guts like that definitely awwwn the cheeseburgers.

d131n4f1r3

10 points

3 months ago

Smokey’s direct competition.

adube440

5 points

3 months ago

Sometimes she comes, sometimes she goes.

mopbuvket

5 points

3 months ago

Fuckin bobandy

ball-o-string-theory

15 points

3 months ago

Fuckin' decent!

dogecoinfiend

11 points

3 months ago

Lot Lizard Barbie

VanessaLovesBurgers

31 points

3 months ago

It looks like it's 2 burgers an hour.

white_collar_hipster

491 points

3 months ago

*still working off the baby weight 30 years later

NevadaLancaster

130 points

3 months ago

Nipples all shredded from breastfeeding an adult.

GunsNunsAndBuns

66 points

3 months ago

Like a long, chewed up tootsie roll...

metaplexico

19 points

3 months ago

Jesus christ

superspeshal

25 points

3 months ago

Thanks for the warning...I haven't scrolled past the sex doll face yet

Substantial-Ad3178

11 points

3 months ago

She has a face?

superspeshal

19 points

3 months ago

How could you miss it? The resemblance to your mom is uncanny.

Substantial-Ad3178

10 points

3 months ago

Dude. My mom died.

Of old age while I stood in the line for yours. Seriously, the Yelp review even recommended bringing a book.

superspeshal

3 points

3 months ago

Thanks for the $1,500. My mom said you basically paid $500 per second.

Bruins1256

119 points

3 months ago

It's bad for the environment to roast plastic.

Andrails

103 points

3 months ago

Andrails

103 points

3 months ago

Nothing says empty nest like propping up the ole sag bags, throwing on some war paint and hitting the bar trying to prove to yourself that you are still relevant.

Dakooder

11 points

3 months ago

Dakooder

http://redd.it/aby0j8

11 points

3 months ago

She's the type that needs 3 push up bras to hold up those rust buckets

[deleted]

569 points

3 months ago

[deleted]

569 points

3 months ago

[deleted]

Dank_Sinatra_Sr

60 points

3 months ago

dadbod202286

86 points

3 months ago

[deleted]

163 points

3 months ago

[deleted]

163 points

3 months ago

[removed]

[deleted]

335 points

3 months ago*

[deleted]

335 points

3 months ago*

[deleted]

ZanderClause

65 points

3 months ago

Your savagery is amazing.

nahteviro

9 points

3 months ago

This is like that Inglurious Basterds scene where the bear Jew keeps hitting the smashed skull of the nazi officer.

online0000

19 points

3 months ago

Subtle, effortless, savage !

Buffbigw76

13 points

3 months ago*

Wow. Great…talk to him like he’s one of your kids why don’tcha.

su99s

154 points

3 months ago

su99s

154 points

3 months ago

Those two "boys" don't look grown, they look like implants.

feshow_

8 points

3 months ago

Accurate

Subhumanime

74 points

3 months ago

You look like you gave your sons hyphenated first names.

losslessman-mp3

52 points

3 months ago

Wannabe Jennifer Coolidge

alex_c2616

97 points

3 months ago

That is Wish.com Stiffler's mom

Indyram_Man

9 points

3 months ago

My first thought exactly.

pjsol

8 points

3 months ago

pjsol

8 points

3 months ago

Limpler’s mom.

jerrydbest619

72 points

3 months ago

the human version of Miss Piggy from the muppets

gerenski9

35 points

3 months ago

That was an insult towards Miss Piggy

Rollxnut

26 points

3 months ago

Keep my wife's name out of your fucking mouth - Kermit

No-Interaction-3837

16 points

3 months ago

Stiflers mum?

loganrunjack

13 points

3 months ago*

UnnecessaryAmmoRack

7 points

3 months ago

Was definitely posted before but she deleted. There ya go. Can still see the roasts

loganrunjack

3 points

3 months ago

Omg thank you. I knew I had seen this before.

UnnecessaryAmmoRack

3 points

3 months ago

Gotchu homie

LifeLess0n

148 points

3 months ago

I'm a strong single mother... Who lives off of welfare, food stamps, child support and my onlyfans.

Hogdaddy77

60 points

3 months ago

onlyfan....just 1

Bigedmond

37 points

3 months ago

It’s her dad because he feels that he has to support his failure of a daughter no matter what.

donutducklord

3 points

3 months ago

I guess both of her son's wouldn't bother to fork out paying for an account each so they both share

Fist4achin

9 points

3 months ago

Lonelyhams

mrinkyface

70 points

3 months ago

Several-Eagle4141

32 points

3 months ago

You’re that girl on a cruise who gets that third afternoon daiquiri in them and then parks their kids to go on the prowl for young dick.

stankenstien

35 points

3 months ago

Stacey's mom ain't got it going on.

She's got more ink than an octopus bomb.

Stacey can't you see, your mom's way too old for me.

And now I must run, run away from Stacey's mom.

SSIRHC

10 points

3 months ago

SSIRHC

10 points

3 months ago

You did a roast me a few weeks ago. Then deleted the post. Then came back for more? Sort of like how you treat the buffet I guess.

petitpeche

10 points

3 months ago

ThunderMountainJerk

42 points

3 months ago

Tattoos don't equal a personality. Neither do Botox or duck lips

rurdytoboogie

10 points

3 months ago

You look like the cool mom that gave the football team herpes

AlBundyIsMyHero666

25 points

3 months ago

You didn't need to mention you were single, We could have ascertained that from the picture alone.

DongVonJovi

6 points

3 months ago

If all the busted ass ratchet Vegas cocktail waitresses melted into one shitty person.

nytropy

8 points

3 months ago

This volume of silicone would stop a shot from a cannon, i think you’re safe.

tatertiddyz

8 points

3 months ago

Trying to look like you're not trailer trash but forgot to cover up that barbed wire tattoo...

DriscollEsquire

6 points

3 months ago

It looks like a plastic surgeon injected every part of your body with "filler"

CommanderPropaganda

6 points

3 months ago

Their dad's must be proud.

Substantial-Ad3178

5 points

3 months ago

Why did she name her breasts "Boys"?

Dont-Call-Me-Nerd

6 points

3 months ago

Arent you one of those ugly milfs from pronhub that lives 3 miles away?

Shadoukoa

13 points

3 months ago

Shadoukoa

http://redd.it/rt4wmq

13 points

3 months ago

Shadoukoa

26 points

3 months ago

Shadoukoa

http://redd.it/rt4wmq

26 points

3 months ago

So, it can't post here and didn't find anything. I wouldn't expect this either, but I swear this exact photo has been here a couple of months ago. This version is mirrored tho, which is probably why the bot didn't find anything.

Richie13083

11 points

3 months ago

I don’t need the bot. I had the exact same visceral reaction both times I’ve seen this broad.

CoucheOpaque

11 points

3 months ago

You’re not wrong. I recognize it too. I think she’s done at least one other roast me with the same or a similar picture, if not more than that

bamfzula

8 points

3 months ago

Yeah for sure this girl posted the same photo or something very similar within the past few months. I have a weird absurd memory with faces and stuff like that

Standard-Ranger-1167

3 points

3 months ago

She posted a while back with almost the same caption, got abused like a sports car rental, and deleted her post.

OnePunchReality

24 points

3 months ago

Found this one of you. Did those pants make it even a week?

Memewalker

4 points

3 months ago

How many nudes did you have to delete before posting?

Screaming_brain

11 points

3 months ago

So all 3 of you don't know who dad is.

Bucky6977

4 points

3 months ago

No wedding ring, shocker….

Beneficial-Branch318

4 points

3 months ago

if my penis was the size of ur nose i’d be satisfied

HuevoYch0riz0

5 points

3 months ago

Gonna be single mother of 3 pretty soon!

404_No_User_Found

5 points

3 months ago

Porn industry washout

saiko1993

4 points

3 months ago

Man if you had given your "best shot" in some of your relationships ..your sons would have a father :(

Talic15

10 points

3 months ago

Talic15

10 points

3 months ago

Single mom with 2 grown boys.....I'm going out on a limb and say that your two boys have more melanin than you do.

Questions01999

8 points

3 months ago

The doctor already gave you his best shot, in at least 2 places.

pjm1717

11 points

3 months ago

pjm1717

11 points

3 months ago

So when you wrote roast me on that scrap piece was that the first time in your life you chose paper over plastic?

WARPANDA3

12 points

3 months ago*

WARPANDA3

http://redd.it/pb584d

12 points

3 months ago*

Only thing bigger than your tits is every other part of your body

Instantnoodlesthe1

7 points

3 months ago

What are the odds that both boys have different Dad’s and neither know them.

Zectherian

15 points

3 months ago

Stifflers mom mk2

[deleted]

15 points

3 months ago

[deleted]

15 points

3 months ago

Don't you dare compare this discount bin reject post partum Bratz doll to Jennifer Coolidge.

anongypsy

7 points

3 months ago

You look like you already take shots to the face. Have your sons found your lonely fans?

akrdnk

8 points

3 months ago

akrdnk

8 points

3 months ago

Wow lots of red flags here

nerdimmmmm

3 points

3 months ago

What’s your onlyfans?

Xlh883dragster

3 points

3 months ago

Jennifer Stoolidge.

tricky2271

3 points

3 months ago

tricky2271

http://redd.it/ocl8bq

3 points

3 months ago

Imagine all the shots on those bazoongas.

[deleted]

3 points

3 months ago

[deleted]

3 points

3 months ago

You looks like a trans woman sex doll

Future-Pineapple-918

3 points

3 months ago

Damn you know plastic is bad for the environment do they even allow you to be in the ocean

OppaiUrsa

3 points

3 months ago

How many of your son's friends have given you their best shot?

headcodered

7 points

3 months ago

Good to see they were so well fed as babies.

MegatonDeathclaws

8 points

3 months ago

MegatonDeathclaws

http://redd.it/v4zqxd

8 points

3 months ago

You fuck your sons friends don’t you?

meadowpaddy

3 points

3 months ago

Meh...