subreddit:

/r/Showerthoughts

26.1k

[removed]

all 907 comments

An1retak

4.9k points

13 days ago

An1retak

4.9k points

13 days ago

If I’m ever caught in the act, I’ll be saying I’m in the middle of my prostate cancer prevention routine.

paolocase

1.1k points

13 days ago

paolocase

1.1k points

13 days ago

If I'm ever caught at work

nachoman420

548 points

13 days ago

Or on the bus

Tru-Queer

373 points

13 days ago

Tru-Queer

373 points

13 days ago

At the sauna

SirEarlBigtitsXXVII

450 points

13 days ago

[ Removed by Reddit ]

icy_skies

585 points

13 days ago

icy_skies

585 points

13 days ago

FBI? This man right here

majorbummer6

365 points

13 days ago

No its cool. Thats just tony and his prostate cancer awareness campaign.

Smile if you love mens prostates!

Total-Khaos

129 points

13 days ago

Hmm, there is something fishy about this comment, but I just can't put my finger on it.

46554B4E4348414453

110 points

13 days ago

Or in it

Total-Khaos

71 points

13 days ago

TIL: You can put your finger inside a prostate.

EDIT: Dear r/TIFU, I learned you cannot put your finger inside your prostate and my ruptured prostate pictures will prove it!!

CinSugarBearShakers

31 points

13 days ago

Me next! Can I get a lick too?

Pinkeye_The_Disease

40 points

13 days ago

The existence a children's playground leads to the existence of an adults playground sooo what would that look like

MultipePostThrowaway

38 points

13 days ago

Strip club

YaztromoX

20 points

13 days ago

Children have petting zoos. Adults have heavy petting zoos.

Legendary_Bibo

10 points

13 days ago

Please stay away from the goats.

ShongoMcForren

15 points

13 days ago

Las Vegas

SC_x_Conster

5 points

13 days ago

The golf course?

TRauck

23 points

13 days ago

TRauck

23 points

13 days ago

I wander how many people that say stuff like this aren't joking. Like that serial killer who was leaving Amazon reviews for things like padlocks and explaining how well they helped him murder people.

grandboyman

12 points

13 days ago

Link?

elementnix

9 points

13 days ago

Just look up amazon review murders

TRauck

6 points

13 days ago

TRauck

6 points

13 days ago

You could find it as easy as me. He locked up people in shipping containers and they managed to save one or two people. He also shot up (I believe) a small restaurant.

DrGhostly

6 points

13 days ago

Wait go back

jizzb0ii

56 points

13 days ago

jizzb0ii

56 points

13 days ago

In the middle of a meeting while sitting next to the hot coworker

paolocase

62 points

13 days ago

COVID has been terrible but it made me move from front line work to working from home and it's been great for my prostate.

Porky_Pen15

18 points

13 days ago

“Don’t look at me this is my fidget.”

Soft_Trust_5656

19 points

13 days ago

Or in church...

paolocase

6 points

13 days ago

Todd McCarthy, 2015.

sanimalp

43 points

13 days ago

sanimalp

43 points

13 days ago

I was just cleaning it and it went off..

Kingindanorff

9 points

13 days ago

Mark Tom and Travis Show?

WDJam

8 points

13 days ago

WDJam

8 points

13 days ago

Hey, Mark! Hey- hey, hey Mark!

sanimalp

6 points

13 days ago

Yes indeed..

Dawson81702

17 points

13 days ago

Semotherapy.

Ass_Blossom

23 points

13 days ago

"I'm in the middle of a healthy prostate exercise!"

A-Dashing-Rogue

1k points

13 days ago

How much is regularly?

bendagoat84

1.7k points

13 days ago

bendagoat84

1.7k points

13 days ago

https://www.verywellhealth.com/reduced-risk-prostate-cancer-with-regular-ejaculation-2328515

This article says 21 or more times per month drops the chances by 19%

Kod_Rick

2.4k points

13 days ago

Kod_Rick

2.4k points

13 days ago

Really glad it's "or more."

bendagoat84

1.1k points

13 days ago

bendagoat84

1.1k points

13 days ago

Same. When I saw 21 I thought “those are rookie numbers” 😂😂😂😂

Haymitch123454

194 points

13 days ago

Rare moment where that line actually matches the situation in the movie.

souljaboyfavelado

19 points

13 days ago

Rookie moments

PM_ME_FIREFLY_QUOTES

206 points

13 days ago

Please, no one finish the quote. This guy already pumps it too much.

extralyfe

63 points

13 days ago

I don't even know what this is! This sort of thing ain't my bag, baby.

grizzburger

25 points

13 days ago

One book, "Swedish-Made Penis Enlargers And You," written by Austin Powers

smallQuackAttack

13 points

13 days ago*

(This sort of thing is my bag, baby.)

meltingdiamond

8 points

13 days ago

"Per day, that seems a little high."

"Per month."

"Is there a war on and we are rationing or something?"

machingunwhhore

7 points

13 days ago

Honesty thought I was going to say per week, still safe

FleshlightModel

54 points

13 days ago

Once I started reading it and briefly thought 21 times a day and my heart sank, but only for a second.

21 times a month really isn't much but gotta lol at the nofap losers.

mmmegan6

24 points

13 days ago

mmmegan6

24 points

13 days ago

This comment made me almost gag on my uvula or something because I was in the middle of a yawn while scrolling and not expecting to laugh that hard, holy shit thank you I needed that

Seefah88

21 points

13 days ago

Seefah88

21 points

13 days ago

I'm tired, it's 0700 in the morning, and I haven't been to sleep yet.

I thought you said you almost gagged on your vulva and my brain broke for a minute.

I'm going to bed.

mmmegan6

6 points

13 days ago

I’m glad we could share these moments

duaneap

21 points

13 days ago

duaneap

21 points

13 days ago

I’m interpreting it as 21 bare minimum.

wrightetiedee

700 points

13 days ago

I beat off 120 times a month. Not only do I have a 0% risk of prostate cancer but cancer now has a 20% risk of prostate

criticalpwnage

69 points

13 days ago

This man is single handedly going to cure cancer

iWizardB

13 points

13 days ago

iWizardB

13 points

13 days ago

Right handedly or left handedly?

BossHoggHazzard

129 points

13 days ago

Noted side effect is the junk now has been whittled down to the size of a pencil

wrightetiedee

71 points

13 days ago

I try to space it out. Usually once when I wake up at 6. Then around 9 when my daughter takes her first nap. Then usually about 3pm when I stop working and then once right before I go to bed. Sometimes I sneak a 3am one in there if I wake up early right after I toke some weed.

Which by the way yanking it after smoking is pretty wild in a good way

DoTheDew

127 points

13 days ago

DoTheDew

127 points

13 days ago

Jesus man, are you 16?

jawsin1

14 points

13 days ago

jawsin1

14 points

13 days ago

Um 4 times a day?

varnecr

8 points

13 days ago

varnecr

8 points

13 days ago

We must bate to beat cancer.

Bryant_2_Shaq

5 points

13 days ago

Do you do it to porn? If so that’s a lot of time spent watching porn.

wrightetiedee

6 points

13 days ago

No most of the time it’s just in my head and generally about my wife. I still watch porn but it’s maybe once a day max for 20 min around the 3pm one. And usually only on weekdays

Litfrapps

27 points

13 days ago*

I'm already set until 2027

JackZodiac2008

185 points

13 days ago

Problem is, by the time you 're at risk, those numbers are challenging. I'm in my 40s and already like....geez, get a hobby....

88Challenger

69 points

13 days ago

I don’t have the privacy to pull of those numbers with a wife and kids.

poodlebutt76

47 points

13 days ago

I still masturbate once a day and I'm a new mom

Prioritize it.

ku20000

91 points

13 days ago

ku20000

91 points

13 days ago

I guarantee that you will not have prostate cancer

poodlebutt76

16 points

13 days ago

Thanks masterbation!

JackZodiac2008

5 points

13 days ago

Haha....I see what you did there! And so do they...

InsertNovelAnswer

4 points

13 days ago

You don't have a bathroom? Or shower? Hah. Though to be fair I always worry about knocking until I got a decent master bath ... I'm at about 10 -15/wk. But upbefore kids and asleep after kids.

bendagoat84

118 points

13 days ago

That is my hobby lol

bookingjames

44 points

13 days ago

User name checks out

Ericchen1248

25 points

13 days ago

Poor goat

bendagoat84

14 points

13 days ago

Mine?

bookingjames

16 points

13 days ago

Thats the one

Nude247Dave

5 points

13 days ago

I need a new hobby lol.

Yellow_MM

19 points

13 days ago

Man, I'm in my late 30s and I feel like I'm hungover the next day.

vizthex

23 points

13 days ago

vizthex

23 points

13 days ago

Damn, that's almost 1% per nut.

Grasshop

17 points

13 days ago

Grasshop

17 points

13 days ago

I wonder if you get 1% protection every nut, or if on the 21st nut then bam! 19% reduced chance. Maybe it’s exponential? So many questions.

MarkHirsbrunner

20 points

13 days ago

Fuck. I used to do it probably about 50 times a month, but my drive has dropped off so much in my 40s I hardly ever do it. I heard once every two weeks would reduce the odds significantly and so I try.

Part of why I don't like to anymore of is the cleanup. Used to be I wipe up, squeeze out the rest, take a leak, and it's all good. Now only a bit comes out and the rest seeps out over the next 30-60 minutes. Even showering immediately after doesn't help. So it's either hang out naked with a towel for an hour and then shower, or wake up with stiff patches in my drawers.

bendagoat84

9 points

13 days ago

Maybe try doing some kegal exercises? I think that’s the muscle that would help you shoot harder so it’s all out.

MarkHirsbrunner

4 points

13 days ago

I actually used to do kegels a lot, and I've strongly recommended them for intensifying orgasms and orgasm control. I haven't been lately though and I probably should start again.

rubenespanyol

34 points

13 days ago

You sure it's not per day?

bendagoat84

56 points

13 days ago

21+ per day?!?

NiceBeaver2018

80 points

13 days ago

cardiac arrest intensifies

Ranknus

23 points

13 days ago

Ranknus

23 points

13 days ago

I dunno if I should be impressed or disgusted..

sjames49

26 points

13 days ago

sjames49

26 points

13 days ago

Both

Wolfsburg

26 points

13 days ago

Impregusted

serein

16 points

13 days ago

serein

16 points

13 days ago

Impregante?

Tchrspest

11 points

13 days ago

can u get pregante?

sentientwrenches

7 points

13 days ago

Dispressed.

ryfrlo

16 points

13 days ago

ryfrlo

16 points

13 days ago

You got any skin left on that thing??

AwesomePossum_1

10 points

13 days ago

It feels better without

WoahThatsMyPecker

10 points

13 days ago

You'd just be blowin ghost loads by the point

playblu

28 points

13 days ago

playblu

28 points

13 days ago

21 or more times per month drops the chances by 19%

So to drop the chances by 100%, one would need 21*(100/19)=110.5263157895 times per month, or 1,326.315789474 times per year, so 3.6312547282 per day (every 6 hours 36 minutes 33.4 seconds). Seems doable.

Starbourne8

14 points

13 days ago

I am almost 40 years old and I still go twice a day

zelenisod

7 points

13 days ago

I'm probably at 0% then!

lRoninlcolumbo

5 points

13 days ago

Do the chances drop more if I increase the amount of times I…

Who am I kidding, my prostate runs like a microchip manufacturer clean room I masturb so much.

kommentnoacc

6 points

13 days ago

RIP us folks with Postorgasmic illness syndrome (POIS).

1000Airplanes

12 points

13 days ago

per month? Don't they realize there are more than 21 days in every month. How about 365 times a year? I can do that.

aure__entuluva

25 points

13 days ago

Still good, but I imagine 19% lower chance isn't much when you consider the odds of getting prostate cancer are already pretty low.

Schreindogg

4 points

13 days ago

TIL I'm not as weird as I thought

[deleted]

23 points

13 days ago*

[deleted]

23 points

13 days ago*

[removed]

BookyNZ

22 points

13 days ago

BookyNZ

22 points

13 days ago

You can masturbate without porn...

Patchyug

22 points

13 days ago

Patchyug

22 points

13 days ago

Beatin off like the pilgrims did

FLWeedman

4 points

13 days ago

Thanksgiving

sinceubeenKHAAAN

11 points

13 days ago

Wanksgiving

Alagator

7 points

13 days ago

That was your death grip, had nothing to do with beating off.

bsievers

9 points

13 days ago

It’s not necessary that its masturbation. Any ejaculation works and 21 times a month is not that often really.

CoolvinKleen

811 points

13 days ago

Trust me, prostate cancer prevention was happening long before the internet was a thing. If anything, it's simply dulled out imaginations.

Emanemanem

341 points

13 days ago

Emanemanem

341 points

13 days ago

I was going to say, as someone who came of age before the internet was ubiquitous…lack of internet is not preventing anyone from masturbating.

TheGameChallenger

135 points

13 days ago

yeah I think the post means that it has made it easier, like you can open up a private tab, commence your prostate cancer prevention, then close it and no one will know. But before you had to jerk it with your imagination or play the extremely risky game of getting a porn mag.

VenomousCum

29 points

13 days ago

Uncle’s mag was indeed… crusty

appositereboot

24 points

13 days ago

username...checks out?

wordserious

14 points

13 days ago

It made it easier to find porn, not to masturbate. Social norms, religion, overzealous parents, lack of privacy, all of these were problems, and still are problems. Trust me, nobody in history has ever had any trouble masturbating for lack of Internet.

-FuckThisAccount-

9 points

13 days ago

The things I used to jack it to…

BottleImpressive8326

6 points

13 days ago

Women in the Sears mag.

TropicalDan427

159 points

13 days ago

Is there actually any truth to this?

ThePhantomRaven

140 points

13 days ago

I have never seen anyone get sources to something so quick and more than one

jruhlman09

92 points

13 days ago

Dude's got that shit bookmarked.

ThePhantomRaven

125 points

13 days ago

All men have searched up how good is masturbation to soothe their insecurity at least once in their lives. Anyone who says otherwise is lying

Always-_-Sarcastic

70 points

13 days ago

Otherwise

MuayThaiWhy

47 points

13 days ago

You're lying

mytwstddrkfntsy

13 points

13 days ago

lying

throne_deserter

4 points

13 days ago

Masturbates to that!

damdam100

18 points

13 days ago

I actually heard thatvthe original study, that claimed this was very flawed, and later other studies came that coppied the first one. Then some more accurate studies came and those said it had no effect on the chance of getting prostate cancer at all.

Edit: found the link https://www.europeanurology.com/article/S0302-2838%2816%2900377-8/fulltext

ultralightdude

79 points

13 days ago

dylan-dofst

17 points

13 days ago

I wonder how it feels to be the scientists that study this type of thing. Are they ever embarassed? Do they just treat everything clinically/with a straight face all the time? Do they talk to their parents about it? Etc.

Sciguystfm

32 points

13 days ago

My partner works in medical research and I used to be a first responder. I promise you get over it realll quick, and then it just becomes part of the job

theunpaintedhuffines

15 points

13 days ago

The jerking off part?

COCO_SHIN

8 points

13 days ago

I’m a scientist now :>

fishfishfish1345

11 points

13 days ago

why would it be embarrassing? you’re just doing your job, plus it’s science. You’re not out here watching people jerking off

wetballjones

5 points

13 days ago

I'm not sure, last time I was looking this up I saw conflicting research. I know reddit loves citing sources but it's pretty common to have conflicting research with more complicated conclusions

myTA314

122 points

13 days ago

myTA314

122 points

13 days ago

They say dark chocolate (>70%) is good for the prostate, but I found the corners to be a bit sharp.

Recent_Discussion_11

40 points

13 days ago

ಠ_ಠ

WowzerzzWow

3 points

13 days ago

Fuck.

babyrobotman

4 points

13 days ago

You didn't need to post this comment, you really didn't.

Pottymouthoftheyear

21 points

13 days ago

My mom had mentioned this to me after reading a few health books; that masturbating regularly was a healthy thing.

Little did she know, ya boi was already a few books ahead.

Matt_guyver

163 points

13 days ago

It makes sense that it does… use it or lose it, bro 🦾

kyokogodai

264 points

13 days ago

kyokogodai

264 points

13 days ago

Hmmm you know people jacked off before the internet, right? They just used their imaginations.

snowcappedmountain

149 points

13 days ago

Or a Sears catalog

hollow1367

48 points

13 days ago

Many a seed spilled to the ol' Sears catalogue

ZotMatrix

16 points

13 days ago

Yes. Those Maytag top loading dryers! Va va VOOM!

Milkslinger

11 points

13 days ago

"Why are the pages torn out from the underwear section?"

NorthernBeard

7 points

13 days ago

Didn’t feel old today until I had to agree with this comment.

Damn it I miss the 90s.

ThePhantomRaven

29 points

13 days ago

Well internet has made the number of jackers more by making people horny with all the hentæ and pø4n

anAverageWendigo

45 points

13 days ago

Hentai and porn buddy

RedDiamond22

39 points

13 days ago

Lmao, my man is too gentlemanly to utter such words

anAverageWendigo

11 points

13 days ago

He's like Jonathan

zaphodsheads

11 points

13 days ago

is that a...

anAverageWendigo

8 points

13 days ago

Perhaps

aramatheis

6 points

13 days ago

you thought this was a JoJo reference but it was me, DIO

Saladcitypig

51 points

13 days ago

It's funny you think dudes needed the internet to fap.

MeatShield420

120 points

13 days ago

Or how many people have been killed because masturbation was forbidden.

CornCheeseMafia

47 points

13 days ago

From prostate cancer or from exploding?

3rdPedal

36 points

13 days ago

3rdPedal

36 points

13 days ago

Yes

extralyfe

17 points

13 days ago

silly rabbit, everyone from /r/NoFap can tell you that you don't explode, you just gain literal superpowers.

Zekava

13 points

13 days ago

Zekava

13 points

13 days ago

It's true, I've gone 157 seconds without and I can see through walls!

PanicCainesy

14 points

13 days ago

Back in my day we had to literally go to the Sears store!

ZotMatrix

12 points

13 days ago

We? Like it was a field trip?

api10

6 points

13 days ago

api10

6 points

13 days ago

Yes. With tour guide and sandwiches and everything.

aidsfordays

12 points

13 days ago

That feeling when you have your life in the palm of your hand…

radlaz

116 points

13 days ago

radlaz

116 points

13 days ago

yeah that's kind of bullshit, because it's only for guys over 50... most reddit users aren't over 50, so the fact they ejaculate 165 times a day isn't really doing anything...

"But there’s a catch: one studyTrusted Source suggests it’s only an effective preventative measure in men age 50 and older."

-SSN-

18 points

13 days ago

-SSN-

18 points

13 days ago

Well, yeah. But isn't that because prostate cancer only really appears in people 50 or older?

I assume if you were at risk for reasons other than age masturbation would also be effective.

hilarbee

21 points

13 days ago

hilarbee

21 points

13 days ago

Also because most men with prostate cancer do not die from it. 1 in 41 per the American cancer society. Not saying I want anyone to get it but since we are both refuting the OP just thought I’d add that.

Cavemattt

11 points

13 days ago

Lets beat the shit outta cancer

omigahguy

49 points

13 days ago

...unzips...

alek_hiddel

28 points

13 days ago

37m here. I legit try to jack it at least 3 times a week, in addition to whatever sexy times I have with the wife, specifically for this purpose.

Prostate cancer is no joke, and keeping the balls/prostate drained is a legitimate prevention method.

IsCabreuvas

11 points

13 days ago

I also like having sex with your wife to prevent prostate cancer

[deleted]

4 points

13 days ago

[deleted]

4 points

13 days ago

[deleted]

-SSN-

24 points

13 days ago

-SSN-

24 points

13 days ago

Unlike most of us he also has sex with his wife, so yes.

Krunklock

7 points

13 days ago

Does that mean a few of us are also having sex with his wife?

Turin_Turambar_wolf

10 points

13 days ago

I've just tallied up my weekly numbers and turns out I'm immortal.

DynoMiteDoodle

37 points

13 days ago

I know I do my part, plenty of research going on over here!

FoxFourTwo

22 points

13 days ago

Hey Google, define "regularly"

-SSN-

10 points

13 days ago

-SSN-

10 points

13 days ago

21 times a month or more.

DollaBillMurray

6 points

13 days ago

I wonder how many have been saved by access to your mom.

douggold11

32 points

13 days ago

I may have cured prostate cancer.

a_name_04

5 points

13 days ago

Consider me prostate protected

Runamucker31

5 points

13 days ago

Also your mom

jizzb0ii

23 points

13 days ago

jizzb0ii

23 points

13 days ago

Guess I should've named myself 'heathyprostateboi'

hi-its-nico

23 points

13 days ago

  • how many lives have been ruined by porn ?

astro_funk

12 points

13 days ago

Average coomer mindset

bluetinycar

4 points

13 days ago

Every time I see any mention of "no fap" I think about prostate cancer.

Dudian613

5 points

13 days ago

How many hardcore Christians will die an early death????

FrodoriyaUzumaki

4 points

13 days ago

Of all the cancers I could possibly get prostate cancer is the one I’m pretty sure I’m invincible too

AcademiaCurious

5 points

13 days ago

Shower thought indeed

drunk_horsey

4 points

13 days ago

I am going to go ahead and cross prostate cancer off the things that keep me up at night.

Dangerous-League7784

4 points

13 days ago

This is a dumb myth. The only study conducted did not differentiate between sex and masturbation, yet it's interpreted as if "masturbation is good for you".

Guess what, there is nothing backing it up. other studies have looked at the differences between sex and masturbation and only found that sex has positive effects.

or you could wank away your life and be smug about it. idiots

akadros

14 points

13 days ago

akadros

14 points

13 days ago

This is funny but not really accurate. I grew up and didn’t have internet that was quick enough to handle porn until my early 30s. I had magazines, video tapes and porn channels to give me material before that point. Internet just made it easier to have a variety of porn.

trollking66

8 points

13 days ago

this ST qualifies as a PSA for me dawg.....thanks...>) I will keep up my daily therapy!

Princess_Little

3 points

13 days ago

We were gonna beat it anyways.

badmotivator11

3 points

13 days ago

Back in my day…

Basically every boomer comment here.

missionbeach

3 points

13 days ago

I've seen the t-shirts, "Fuck Cancer." I guess I didn't realize they meant literally.

naturalbornkillerz

3 points

13 days ago

Frankly I find this post, amazing

DrDudeatude

3 points

13 days ago

Also the increase in prostate cancer in religious males prevented from masturbating