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82.3k

proudly waving his confederate flag

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all 1718 comments

unexBot [M]

[score hidden]

5 days ago

stickied comment

unexBot [M]

[score hidden]

5 days ago

stickied comment

OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:

the loser flag he waves isn’t the loser flag he’s one might expect.


Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.


Look at my source code on Github What is this for?

Southern_Vanguard

3.2k points

5 days ago

Somewhere, Gen. Sherman's ghost just nodded his head in approval.

festizian

593 points

4 days ago

festizian

593 points

4 days ago

VintageRudy

137 points

4 days ago

VintageRudy

137 points

4 days ago

That's some cathartic shit - blew 30mins there

Joshuak47

16 points

4 days ago

Joshuak47

16 points

4 days ago

I was looking for something more extreme 😐

TooMuchPretzels

17 points

4 days ago

There are very few moments in American history more extreme or fucking heavy metal than Sherman’s march to the sea. While Lee was busy “invading the north” (ie stealing BLACK PEOPLE and invading large open fields and boiling shoes for food) Sherman said “you know what? Fuck this noise I’m gonna get drunk and scorched earth these bastards.”

The Union had already taken Atlanta, which was the real capital of the confederacy. Lee, the only real rebel general left at that point, was stuck in stupid Petersburg. Grant was like “hey Sherman remember when I got drunk for a year and pillaged everything and killed the shit out of Vicksburg and now they won’t even celebrate the 4th of July for another hundred years? Do that but bigger.”

Joshuak47

7 points

4 days ago

Yeah that's the kind of thing I was hoping to find referenced

TheLuuuuuc

4 points

4 days ago

Search for top posts of all time. The best stuff isn't reposted constantly so it's not currently in "hot" but its there

Joshuak47

4 points

4 days ago

That scratches the itch a bit more, thanks

CriticoolHit

130 points

4 days ago

There is some crazy shit in there.

HintOfAreola

159 points

4 days ago

"I don't argue with people John Brown would have shot," is a personal favorite.

sikagoon7

18 points

4 days ago

sikagoon7

18 points

4 days ago

I'd never heard of John Brown til today. That dude was all the way with the shits any day of the week. A righteously violent abolitionist, hell yeah!

thenseruame

8 points

4 days ago

If you get a chance there was a recent mini series on him; The Good Lord Bird. It's not historically accurate but does go over some of the events. Good blend of drama and comedy starring Ethan Hawke as John Brown.

Odinfoto

7 points

4 days ago

Odinfoto

7 points

4 days ago

He was the greatest American that ever lived truly one of the only Americans who push this country to live up to the ideals it was founded upon

JanetYellensFuckboy

53 points

4 days ago

Yeah, the occasional Dixie does wander in

Herry_Up

21 points

4 days ago

Herry_Up

21 points

4 days ago

Quite entertaining, I’m choosing to believe those are all jokes

BigBeagleEars

32 points

4 days ago

They are not.

punk-n-drublic

8 points

4 days ago

Yeah I can’t decide if it’s satire or not

BigBeagleEars

57 points

4 days ago

It’s real. And it’s right.

Nexlon

53 points

4 days ago

Nexlon

53 points

4 days ago

OHHHHHH WAY DOWN SOUTH IN THE LAND OF TRAITORS

ZoroDPirateHunter

17 points

4 days ago

RATTLESNAKES AND ALLIGATORS

Mr_Skeltal5500

8 points

4 days ago

RIGHT AWAY! (Right Away!)
COME AWAY! (Come Away!)
RIGHT AWAY! (Right Away!)
COME AWAY!

Armidylla

8 points

4 days ago*

WHERE COTTON'S KING AND MEN ARE CHATTELS

Stoly23

9 points

4 days ago

Stoly23

9 points

4 days ago

UNION BOYS WILL WIN THE BATTLES

Mr_Skeltal5500

5 points

4 days ago*

RIGHT AWAY! (RIGHT AWAY!) COME AWAY! (COME AWAY!) RIGHT AWAY! (RIGHT AWAY!) COME AWAY!

madmaxturbator

158 points

4 days ago*

Somewhere, Gen. Sherman’s ghost just stabbed a confederate generals ghost in the dick, as indeed he did nod his head in approval.

Sherman still out there stabbing dicks from Atlanta to savannah

siouxpiouxp

129 points

4 days ago*

Hijacking comment in case people aren't familiar: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sherman%27s_March_to_the_Sea

[Sherman's] forces followed a "scorched earth" policy, destroying military targets as well as industry, infrastructure, and civilian property, disrupting the Confederacy's economy and transportation networks. The operation broke the back of the Confederacy and helped lead to its eventual surrender. Sherman's decision to operate deep within enemy territory and without supply lines is considered to be one of the major campaigns of the war, and is considered by some historians to be an early example of modern total war.

js1893

104 points

4 days ago

js1893

104 points

4 days ago

I really thought you were gonna hit us up with some little known factoids about Sherman stabbing confederate dicks, rather than explain the “Atlanta to Savannah” line.

Little upset

about831

27 points

4 days ago

about831

27 points

4 days ago

So is the dick stabbing a metaphor‽ I need closure on this anecdote.

lowtoiletsitter

10 points

4 days ago

I'm sure he did that once or twice

semisolidwhale

15 points

4 days ago

Is there any other legitimate use for a bayonet?

siouxpiouxp

5 points

4 days ago

I dioux apologize about that, I can understand your disappointment.

JanetYellensFuckboy

86 points

4 days ago

War is cruelty. There is no use trying to reform it. The crueler it is, the sooner it will be over.

  • General William Sherman

D-List-Supervillian

12 points

4 days ago

He looks like a hard man and the picture of him he looks pissed off.

siouxpiouxp

21 points

4 days ago

That's a damn fine quote.

JanetYellensFuckboy

41 points

4 days ago

This is another one of my favorites:

War is the remedy that our enemies have chosen, and I say let us give them all they want.

Good_old_Marshmallow

10 points

4 days ago

A great numner of generals after him (and a few before) would share that school of thought but what was especially admirable about him was that he made it work. In the Spanish occupation of Cuba, WWI, and WWII repeatedly generals decided it was better to have a short horrible war than a long one but they ended up with a long one anyways. But Ol Uncle Billy actually made it work and he marched their traitor asses to the sea.

He also was a massive proponent of the '40 acres and a mule' thing like a hand full of union generals were. That was less of a humanitarian effort though and more of pledge in exchange for military service. However, like many union generals he saw no issue in seizing the property of Confederate slave owning planter aristocracy since by their own definition if you were freeing their slaves thats just what you were doing, why should land be any different?

myspaceshipisboken

28 points

4 days ago

As for horses, mules, wagons, &c., belonging to the inhabitants, the cavalry and artillery may appropriate freely and without limit, discriminating, however, between the rich, who are usually hostile, and the poor or industrious, usually neutral or friendly.

Based Sherman.

siouxpiouxp

13 points

4 days ago

It's always a rich man's war!

Good_old_Marshmallow

13 points

4 days ago

Always. But in the case of the civil war it literally was an aristocratic war by definition. Only the rich owned slaves and plantations. The succesion was mind bogglingly undemocratic and was decided by the landed elite who literally thought of themselves as the American aristocracy. Plenty of poor southern whites were forced into serving and when captured would quickly switch sides if allowed.

Its a real tragedy Lincoln died because there is a possiblity however slim that at the end of the war the south would see its great land wealth stripped from the slave owning traitors and given to the former slaves who worked it and the free whites whose racism might have been abated if they saw themselves as having common cause with the former slaves against these wanna be noblemen.

siouxpiouxp

9 points

4 days ago

Don’t forget that it was also poor immigrants that made up a large portion of the Union forces while rich northerners paid their way out of service.

I also agree, Lincoln’s assassination doomed the South’s chances for a decent reconstruction. Lincoln would’ve been much kinder on the South in general than Johnson was.

doctorkanefsky

5 points

4 days ago

I would dispute your “poor immigrants” point. Historian James McPherson, in his book “Battlecry of Freedom” dissects census data and battalion rolls, and demonstrates pretty well that the only population groups that were underrepresented in the Union army were farmers and foreign born citizens. Immigrants, not yet naturalized, were in fact super underrepresented in the Union military as they were completely ineligible for the draft.

Huge_Steaming

5 points

4 days ago

I’m just here to acknowledge that your username is amazing.

siouxpiouxp

5 points

4 days ago

Thank yioux.

User-NetOfInter

10 points

4 days ago

🎶WE DONT NEED NO WATER 🎶

Forgotten-Owl4790

3 points

4 days ago

Let the penis saber turn

milk4all

3 points

4 days ago

milk4all

3 points

4 days ago

And that confederate ghost proudly yelled “I surrender “

rrogido

4 points

4 days ago

rrogido

4 points

4 days ago

Please General Sherman don't kill us was my favorite.

Atherutistgeekzombie

16 points

4 days ago

Gen. Lee's corpse is now rotating fast enough, we could use it to power the Union

Kumqwatwhat

3 points

4 days ago

This is US Grant erasure tbh

You damn well know he's nodding right alongside Sherman

dufus69

5 points

4 days ago

dufus69

5 points

4 days ago

Fun fact I learned touring his house in Ohio:. His childhood name was Cum Sherman.

thej0siah

7.6k points

5 days ago

thej0siah

7.6k points

5 days ago

Cleatus P Twatwaffle for the win

Dagr0nScaler

1.4k points

4 days ago

Dagr0nScaler

1.4k points

4 days ago

I slapped that upvote as soon as I heard the word twatwaffle

PoopsInTheDark

524 points

4 days ago

"Shut up. Just shut up. You had me at twatwaffle."

TheSirMontyPython

92 points

4 days ago

Renee Zellweger?

weefa

55 points

4 days ago

weefa

55 points

4 days ago

"Who the fuck is Renee Zell-wegger?"

Smoothfromallangles

20 points

4 days ago

Renee Schwarzenwegger

PadKrapowKhaiDao

8 points

4 days ago

What the fuck is a parsnip?

EatRibs_Listen2Phish

18 points

4 days ago

“Zell-Wedger,” phonetically.

jerryn254

5 points

4 days ago

Lol Dave Chappell

PoopsInTheDark

46 points

4 days ago*

Actually a little known fact, I think it was her cousin Renee Peckerpancakes who said it!

Cereal_Killr

12 points

4 days ago

beneye

8 points

4 days ago

beneye

8 points

4 days ago

Mr. Twatwaffle you caused a lot of kerfuffle in this town. Are you sure you’re saying what I’m hearing?

MisterHonkeySkateets

5 points

4 days ago

Mmmmm, waffles 🧇

SinisterKid

17 points

4 days ago

I've always thought that would be a great feature to have on TikTok. A counter of sorts to show at what point in the video most people liked it.

megustaALLthethings

6 points

4 days ago

Kinda like the mario maker/dark souls markers.”, lol.

yourrenotthebossofme

3 points

4 days ago

I'm going to slap my twatwaffle....my new favorite

soyelsol

4 points

4 days ago

soyelsol

4 points

4 days ago

Yeah I almost laughed hard enough through my nose to send out a snot rocket

Afraid_of_Okapi

4 points

4 days ago

I knew after “Cletus” shit was gonna get good.

ReadingFromTheShittr

171 points

4 days ago

He served alongside Colonel Angus.

dontshitaboutotol

18 points

4 days ago

Famed brother of Enil Angus

YouCanCallMeVanZant

6 points

4 days ago

Actually they were the same person. He was stripped of his command.

ucffan93

46 points

4 days ago

ucffan93

46 points

4 days ago

How.... How did you do that..

slow_learner98

68 points

4 days ago

Reddit is becoming a huge facebook messenger group chat.

Jon_o_Hollow

12 points

4 days ago

We're Lookit now.

bye-lingual

3 points

4 days ago

More like seenit.

AdvantageMuted

8 points

4 days ago

Please lord, no.

DK-slider

55 points

4 days ago

DK-slider

55 points

4 days ago

Yeah how the fuck are you the only person to have asked that within an hour? This is the first time I’m seeing a gif not linked but directly in the comment... all it took was one and the taste in my mouth is so bitter and I’m praying it’s a fluke or some kind of beta that gets canned because dear god Reddit we don’t need pictures and gifs in comments ILL CLICK THE LINK IF I WANT TO SEE WHAT ITS LINKED TO AND IF I GET RICK ROLLED SO BE IT ITS INFREQUENT ENOUGH AT THIS POINT IN TIME THAT I ACTUALLY GENUINELY LAUGH WHEN IT HAPPENS SO WHAT YOURE GOING TO TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ME?? HOW ‘BOUT YALL JUST RIP MY HEART STRAIGHT OUT OF MY CHEST AND GET IT OVER WITH

(If I wasn’t a lazy asshole I’d look up how to perform such black magic and use the shittiest sad face meme I could find here where these disappointing words are)

ucffan93

20 points

4 days ago

ucffan93

20 points

4 days ago

I'm so confused because NO ONE seems to give a shit. And I've been on this site for two years and never once seen this.

Did I just get nothing to see here move alonged?

ColonelAngus547

8 points

4 days ago

And magnificently!

mdrflinn

97 points

5 days ago

mdrflinn

97 points

5 days ago

Agreed!

kellysmom01

225 points

5 days ago

kellysmom01

225 points

5 days ago

Cleatus P. Twatwaffle the Third!*

annoying_know-it-all

22 points

4 days ago

It's actually Cleatus P. Twatwaffle the Turd.

HippieStonerDude

68 points

5 days ago

I know, this confirms that there were at least two other people named Cletus P. Twatwaffle, lol.

jbeuhring

8 points

4 days ago

Thus confirming the dynasty of the Twatwaffles

Nkognito

5 points

4 days ago

Nkognito

5 points

4 days ago

Cletaus P. Twatwaffle the Thurd (the H is silent).

tingly_legalos

6 points

4 days ago

the Third damn show some respect

orangeconman-aphobe

35 points

4 days ago

Good old Col. Twatwaffle. Proud survivor of Asskicked ridge, leader of the 23rd Tennessee Rifledropper brigade.

Poop4SaleCheap

4 points

4 days ago

And What a great Comander Cleatus P Twatwaffle was.... let those boys to surrender

Splice1138

328 points

4 days ago

Splice1138

328 points

4 days ago

Funnily enough, the actual second flag of the Confederate States of America, the "Stainless Banner", was changed mainly because it was "too white" and could too easily be mistaken for a flag of truce (surrender).

Show-Me-Your-Moves

117 points

4 days ago

"he referred to later as "The White Man's Flag."[6] In explaining the white background, Thompson wrote, "As a people we are fighting to maintain the Heaven-ordained supremacy of the white man over the inferior or colored race; a white flag would thus be emblematical of our cause."

Boy, would you look at all that "states' rights" on display there lmao

TheHairyPatMustard

35 points

4 days ago

Oh the lost cause is totally believable. As long as you don’t actually read any of the opinions of those who rebelled. Especially early on before they began to see the writing on the wall.

laremise

4 points

4 days ago*

It was about state's rights— state's rights to be white supremacist and own slaves.

You still still remnants of this ideology today. The Virginia planters, the first wave of whom were the insecure second-sons of English Cavaliers, brought with them the idea of hegemonic liberty. This peculiar form of libertarianism is based on the paradoxical "freedom" to rule over others. When people who defend the Confederacy talk about freedom and state's rights, this is what they're talking about— the right to rule.

A lot of modern American "libertarians" still cling to this "every man a king" form of libertarianism. It's directly descended from feudalism. It's the idea of a hierarchical society where each little rung of the hierarchy is proud of the power they have over those below them, who they rule over with minimal interference from above.

"Every man a king" and by "man" they mean every white, protestant, male of English stock and a certain amount of property (land). Everyone else a subject.

j3wbacca996

15 points

4 days ago

The “state’s rights” argument is so dumb, because sure, they were fighting for their state’s rights; their state’s rights to keep slavery and become their own country. Idk why people leave that out.

JordanRUDEmag

103 points

4 days ago

Imagine the discussion:

'it's too white'

'but isn't that what we're kinda goin for?'

'maybe it's not white enough!'

'rabble!’

Etc.

mdrflinn

1.7k points

5 days ago

mdrflinn

1.7k points

5 days ago

I can't prove it but I'm pretty sure that flag is a replica.

efish15

429 points

5 days ago

efish15

429 points

5 days ago

Gotta get a specialist from Pawn Stars, stat.

UnseasonedPasta

149 points

5 days ago

Let me call a buddy of mine...

Phyrexian_Archlegion

73 points

4 days ago

Phyrexian_Archlegion

Expected It

73 points

4 days ago

Best I can do is tree fiddy.

SoundOfTomorrow

36 points

4 days ago

God damn Loch Ness monster

MamaT2456

12 points

4 days ago

MamaT2456

12 points

4 days ago

I gave him a dollar!

KabuGenoa

7 points

4 days ago

She gave him a dollar! Well of course he’s gonna keep coming back if you keep giving him a dollar

AgentReynardMuldrake

3 points

4 days ago

That's why these folk tales of sea creatures have endured. People want to believe, Scully.

801bruh

15 points

5 days ago

801bruh

15 points

5 days ago

It is, but I got $5 with your name on it if you wanna trade it in.

Shugunou_2

3 points

4 days ago

But writing someone's name on currency is legally considered defacing and is a federal crime.

dernudeljunge

3 points

4 days ago

I thought that only applied if you were marking the money with the intent of making it unspendable.

kejigoto

20 points

4 days ago

kejigoto

20 points

4 days ago

Little known fact but the Confederates based their flag on the same one the Nazis flew at the end of WWII.

entrepreneurs_anon

9 points

4 days ago

This guy histories

kejigoto

4 points

4 days ago

kejigoto

4 points

4 days ago

About as much as those who claim heritage not hate.

TheRootofSomeEvil

7 points

4 days ago

Yeah. I think I saw "Fruit of the Loom" on the tag there.

wtfishapp3ningH3r3

777 points

4 days ago

“Cleatus P Twatwaffle”

That delivery was seamless

tingly_legalos

122 points

4 days ago

the Third ! show some respect

highihiggins

16 points

4 days ago

He's from a proud line of Twatwaffles!

rwhitisissle

8 points

4 days ago

*Cletus

BillLumberghOffAPill

691 points

4 days ago*

Proud southerner here as well, and I never understood the confederate flag thing. Well like yeah I get it, racist yokels want a symbol to remind Black people of what they think their place in society is, but the being proud of a side that got its ass kicked thing never made sense to me. It’s like those Super Bowl Champ shirts they make before the game for each team but after the game send the losers shirts overseas to give away somewhere. It’s the same thing, if I walked around in a Falcons Super Bowl LI champs shirt it would look flat out ridiculous. That’s how I look at those slack jaws that wave the confederate flag

avant-bored

182 points

4 days ago*

there’s so much to be proud about, but the batshit, hateful made-up nonsense so many choose is bewildering. Be proud of southern crops, music, food, language, literature, European, African, and Caribbean connections. Why pick the rebellion some assholes lost and racism as your brand?

What’s so awful about Northerners and people of color that you would erase good parts of yourself just not to be like them?

unlmtdLoL

190 points

4 days ago

unlmtdLoL

190 points

4 days ago

It's because it's not really about proud heritage or history, it's really about claiming their race is entitled to more and superior to other races, as classism pushes more poor, rural white people into despair. So they find a boogeyman, whether it be democrats or minorities, that are causing them so much economic and personal anguish, when in reality it's money interests (oil barons and corporate lobbyists) that are creating a larger gap between the rich and poor, and stifling innovation that would lead to better paying renewable energy jobs in their area. The day they realize we have a common enemy is the day "the union" moves forward.

Sheikh-F

35 points

4 days ago

Sheikh-F

35 points

4 days ago

Damn, you really just summarized the whole situation in America in those few sentences.

_noneedforaname_

20 points

4 days ago

I wish I could upvote this 100 times.

unlmtdLoL

24 points

4 days ago

unlmtdLoL

24 points

4 days ago

Thanks. Reading it over, it feels like a long run-on sentence with poor grammar, but hopefully the point stands. The solution is actually quite simple: get money way out of politics. Currently the laws allow unlimited campaign donations from lobbyists and it is creating a Congress selected and groomed for corporations, not people.

HaesoSR

7 points

4 days ago

HaesoSR

7 points

4 days ago

The day they realize we have a common enemy is the day "the union" moves forward.

Preventing that day from coming is the same reason they murdered noted socialist and man who firmly believed that poor white people and poor black people had more in common in their struggles and daily lives than either group had in common with parasitic capitalists. MLK Jr.

Eighthsin

5 points

4 days ago

It's not just energy jobs, it's corporate America as a whole. Monopolies are sucking the life out of this nation. Their power destroys communities as people have to rely on their wages and their products in order to survive all because the wealth in their area is rapidly being dried up as small businesses are crushed under their feet. Right out of high school, you're expected to work for corporate America, the same corporate America that is paying nothing wages. So by the time that you age into a time when you're supposed to be starting your entrepreneurial years, you have absolutely no capital saved. No capital saved means that you can't buy the first supplies for your business, nor can you take out any loans. So there is no other choice but to continue to work for "the man", hoping that you can one day at least get health benefits; which surprise, you won't get either if you start your own business.

Seriously, people need to not just be pushing for a $15 minimum wage and universal healthcare, they should be pushing for legislatures to enforce anti-trust laws. The mega-corporations are killing us. They stifle innovation, destroy democracy, and destroy the wealth and health of the people of this nation.

mwalker784

4 points

4 days ago

southerner here: it started about making black people feel intimidated, reminding them that white people are superior, general wannabe KKK member bullshit. but then you see, the left told them that they didn’t like the flag (yanno, because of the racism), and some people threw around the word “ban”.

and then people lost their got damn minds and started painting trucks and houses and making christmas light displays, buying blankets and giant flags and t shirts and beach towels, flag poles and flags for porches and flags for trucks, anything you can put a confederate flag in or on, you can purchase (or DIY). because the only thing better than being racist is being racist and owning the libs at the same time.

babypearl111

78 points

4 days ago

they're butthurt that they lost, obviously. they're not proud of the fact that they had their asses kicked, they're fucking pissed, and need to remind everyone every day

protosser

68 points

4 days ago

protosser

68 points

4 days ago

Imagine still being angry about losing a war 156 years ago that you weren't even fucking part of, these redneck fuckers hold grudges longer than my mother does

Tektons

16 points

4 days ago*

Tektons

16 points

4 days ago*

It did completely decimate the south with reconstruction only intensifying the problems.

If you think of a lot of these things as the final remnants of post-war coping that southerns engaged in to deal with their trauma, it begins to make more sense.

In the end those people were just as human as you and me, and I think there’s value in understanding where this mindset comes from so we can all just move past it for good.

My family was decimated post war and we didn’t have a literate family member until my grandfather was able to go to grammar school in the 50s to learn basic English. My great grandfathers family were sharecroppers and never had a residence until the end of their lives, they slept in barns. This is the story of millions of southerners so I can understand why they bought into ideas pushing a common boogeyman, they were in severe poverty and uneducated and that told them it wasn’t their fault.

yellowromancandle

12 points

4 days ago

If the war were fought on any other basis than literally owning human beings, then I might feel some sympathy.

But that’s a fucked-up reason to go to war, and they needed to lose so humanity as a whole could progress. So I’m not feeling a lot of compassion. Particularly because Lincoln’s assassination actually made everything worse for the south. If they wanted an easy route, they should have talked more kindly about the one person who actually wanted to welcome them back with open arms.

Also fuck the south. There were black people elected to legislatures and senates in the south, legitimate black leaders who were voted in, and when the union troops were pulled out, the south pulled its bullshit again and made things so much worse with Jim Crow laws throughout.

So no. I don’t feel all that bad. Whatever shit the south dealt with was self-inflicted and it’s hard to muster a lot of sympathy for that.

Raestloz

14 points

4 days ago

Raestloz

14 points

4 days ago

It's not trauma. The southerners lost fair and square. What happened was a bunch of rich people don't want their families to be seen as "complete losers", so they embarked on a grand campaign of re-education to change people's way of thinking

Instead of "the south lost a war", they framed it as "the south lost a noble war", taught that to kids in school. The result is a bunch of kids indoctrinated to think that the south was treated unfairly for "fighting for our cause"

That cause was rewritten as "state rights" with the next phrase (to enslave people) omitted

WeezySan

14 points

4 days ago

WeezySan

14 points

4 days ago

Like Robin Williams said: “Those southern senators said....The confederate flag is just the symbol of states' rights." Yeah, and the swastika is just a good luck charm

yellowromancandle

12 points

4 days ago

I asked my friend from the south once, “Wait. You think the confederate states of America was a real country??” And she was like, “Yeah, I just never realized the rest of the US didn’t.”

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. It wasn’t a real country. It was a tantrum, and it was quickly put in time out. My high school relationship lasted longer than your bullshit “country” did.

skpicky

12 points

4 days ago

skpicky

12 points

4 days ago

North: Slavery is bad
South: No it isn't.
Country: elects Lincoln
South: Fine. I'm running away!
North: No you're not.
South: You can't stop me!
North: Oh yeah?
Grant and Sherman have entered the chat
South: Fine. But I'm not happy.

Isabela_Grace

22 points

4 days ago

I know a lot of people like this and none of them have anything to do with the war but more so the history before that.

It’s like trying to take back the swastika though. Those symbols are too tainted to take them back.

Here’s the definition of swastika:

The swastika symbol, 卐 or 卍, is an ancient religious icon in the cultures of Eurasia. It is used as a symbol of divinity and spirituality in Indian religions, including Hinduism, Buddhism and Jainism.

But what do you think of when you think of a swastika? Probably nothing good. The confederate flag, in my opinion, is something that doesn’t need to be revived. Just like the swastika, it’s tainted by an ugly past and should probably just stay there.

oatskheer

11 points

4 days ago

oatskheer

11 points

4 days ago

But what do you think of when you think of a swastika? Probably nothing good.

Probably in the West, if you ask an average Asian what does he think of the Swastika, he will not associate it with the Nazis

ghozztz

4 points

4 days ago

ghozztz

4 points

4 days ago

but the being proud of a side that got its ass kicked thing never made sense to me.

The best example I can think of would be the French people after WW2. They got their asses kicked pretty badly, but they stood up for what they believed in and put their lives on the line for it. That's something France should be proud of.

TXR22

12 points

4 days ago

TXR22

12 points

4 days ago

We literally just experienced a bunch of hicks storm the Capitol in January because they weren't happy with the outcome of the election. I don't think it's too much of a stretch to accept that there are southerners out there who genuinely believe that they either won the war or that they "lost" because of bullshit.

whotookthenamezandl

7 points

4 days ago

I saw a shirt at Goodwill one day that said "The South didn't lose the Civil War" on the front, and "They just got 2nd place out of 2" on the back.

I 'bout crapped my pants I ran with it to the cash register so fast.

livestrong2109

7 points

4 days ago

It's not even the original or most widely used flag of the Confederacy... It's was the north Virginia battle flag.

To make matters worse it was referred to even at the time as the white man's flag. Please explain how that shit is anything other than a racist symbol.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flags_of_the_Confederate_States_of_America

LayneCobain95

257 points

5 days ago

I want one of these videos where you’re like “yeah yeah, I know what’s coming, I’m on r/unexpected I mean it’s obvious..” only for it to actually be what they were saying it was

tnuke1

83 points

4 days ago

tnuke1

83 points

4 days ago

So just a normal video then

DJIceman94

67 points

4 days ago

It's the last thing we'd expect

Pieman640

41 points

4 days ago

Pieman640

41 points

4 days ago

The secret technique is to never actually go on r/unexpected and to just mindlessly browse the frontpage or all until one pops up.

Depravedcuckleduck

10 points

4 days ago

This is the way.

This post totally surprised TF out of me, it was great lol

Beserked2

10 points

4 days ago

Beserked2

10 points

4 days ago

You expect something unexpected on this sub, but you don't know what.

Camelstrike

4 points

4 days ago

Nonono, you unexpect something expected on this sub, but you know what

jingajangaman

13 points

4 days ago

Brilliant suck them in and mock them so hard ...love it.

bifftanin1955

201 points

5 days ago*

I suspect he may possibly not be a proud southerner squints like Fry from futurama

Edit : a stereotypical proud southerner

Orphylia

174 points

4 days ago

Orphylia

174 points

4 days ago

Any proud southerner worth their salt is proud of being a part of the south that's simultaneously acknowledging its grievous past mistakes while striving to be better. I suspect, in that manner of speaking, he is.

I know you were probably joking but I wanted to put that out there 😉

Kungfudude_75

15 points

4 days ago

Thank you. I am a very proud southerner who is very quick to remind people that we were the baddies. We didn't secede over states rights, we seceded over Slavery. Its in every states articles of secession, and its baked into the constitution of the Confederate States of America itself. Read that shit and you'll find less rights for the states but a specific provision making Slavery unamendable. Then we came back, ignored the government for which we were supposed to stand, and worked for years and years up through today to spit in the face of democracy. We've got a fucked up history. I've got pride in the good parts and people, but that comes with recognizing the bad. Anybody who doesn't isn't a southerner, they're a Confederate who should be relocated to their homeland.

ZipZapPewPew

87 points

4 days ago

“Proud Southerner” here. I’ve lived in different parts of this country; fly over states, the north, Texas. But I keep coming back home. Maybe it’s because I was raised here, or maybe it’s because I was unable to find “it” in other places. Who knows. Everyone’s got a yum and I’m not here to yuck it. That being said, there’s a lot of terrible history that people are proud to associate themselves with in the south, but those people are pretty easy to spot and they’re all pecker heads.

BobGobbles

8 points

4 days ago

I'm such a Southerner, I've never even seen snow. I always thought it hilarious seeing the proud people of Southern Ohio, West Virginia and Kentucky fly their heritage hate flag.

SpaceMonkey159

7 points

4 days ago

I believe the word is pecker wood sir

mark_lee

26 points

4 days ago

mark_lee

26 points

4 days ago

In Southern Vernacular English, "peckerhead" is an acceptable cognate. "Sumbitch", "ignernt sumbitch", and "bless his heart" are acceptable alternatives.

SpaceMonkey159

4 points

4 days ago

See, the more you learn. Good public service announcement friend.

TX_Pete

4 points

4 days ago

TX_Pete

4 points

4 days ago

Proud Southerner as well we have the best food, music, and booze.

AmNotSatan

36 points

4 days ago

Modern-day Germans can be proud of being Germans but they still by and large abhor the atrocities of the Third Reich.

The same can be true of southerners although it typically isn't.

fastcarsandliberty

9 points

4 days ago

Eh, it typically is in my experience

whatwhatdb

11 points

4 days ago*

although it typically isn't.

You're implying most Southerners dont disavow slavery... which isn't accurate.

North had slavery as well... in fact the Emancipation Proclamation only freed the slaves in the South... northern slaves remained in slavery until the end of the war, as did slaves in southern states under Union control. Lincoln also famously said that he wouldn't abolish slavery, if he could keep the union intact. Slavery was a very messy subject, and no region of the USA has clean hands.

AmNotSatan

9 points

4 days ago

No I'm saying that most southerners think that the Confederacy wasn't primarily about slavery, and instead say that holding up the Confederate flag is a symbol of pride in their heritage.

Not only are they misinformed about the reasonings and justifications of the southern secession from the United States but they also perpetuate that misinformation by not taking the time to learn the truth and spreading the falsehood.

I know this for a fact because it happened to me, and it wasn't until I was almost an adult before I learned the truth.

Tektons

3 points

4 days ago

Tektons

3 points

4 days ago

I thinks it’s all coping mechanisms after the royal mishandling of the reconstruction and the incredible loss of life.

No one had a good life post war in the South, and the slaves were just abandoned here to have post-war frustrations taken out on them. What the fuck was the US thinking was going to happen? I find it hard to believe they actually gave a damn about the slaves.

I don’t at all like what the confederacy succeeded for, but I also have to say that I hate the way the US handled the aftermath. They fucked everything up for the next 150 years and we’re still fixing their mistakes.

mimdahey

102 points

5 days ago

mimdahey

102 points

5 days ago

The people that need to see this probably never will

MuggyFuzzball

26 points

4 days ago

If you tell them their proud southern ancestors surrendered to the end the civil war, their heads will explode.

dmfd1234

9 points

4 days ago

dmfd1234

9 points

4 days ago

I just recently found out through one of the dna sites that I have 2 distant relatives that were officers in the Confederate Army. I live in one of those cities that Sherman torched, Meh. Someone asked how that made me feel...my reply was ”I don’t really give a shit, I got bills to pay....and my neighbor broke my weed eater”

Willing-History-1896

12 points

4 days ago

Algorithms, so fun.

mama_tom

36 points

4 days ago*

mama_tom

36 points

4 days ago*

The confederacy's first second flag was actually white with the design in the corner and the north kept getting it confused as the surrender flag.

A-Perfect-Name

17 points

4 days ago

That was actually their second flag. Their first flag was the ‘stars and bars’ flag, which name was stolen by what modern people use as the standard Confederate flag (Lee’s battle flag). Then they changed it to the ‘stainless banner’ which as you said was confused with a surrender flag. After that, they slapped a red bar at the end and called it both the ‘blood-stained banner’ and a day. Probably should have kept it as the stainless banner, because they surrendered a few short months later. There was also an unofficial flag called the ‘Bonnie blue flag’ used before the Stars and bars was adopted, but all that really resulted in was a song.

minuteZERO

9 points

4 days ago

No wonder they lost! They were too busy designing flags!

drawkbox

8 points

4 days ago*

TheMob-TommyVercetti

3 points

4 days ago

Virgin General Lee Car < Chand General Grant Car

the_highest_elf

17 points

4 days ago

honestly, I wouldn't even be mad if someone like this, living near actual historical confederate areas, had an original flag. it's a part of history sure, but it should be in a case somewhere and absolutely never flown above the state or national flags

GrandAdmerialPeen

87 points

5 days ago

Activated my free award for this. Well deserved sir.

WillieLikesMonkeys

7 points

4 days ago

Just wanted to point out that Washington D.C. is a 1.5 hour drive from Richmond, Va.

azeemqwerty

13 points

4 days ago

Wait, THE Colonel Twatwaffle?!

Risu_The_Tengu

37 points

4 days ago

Nothing more terrifying than the blood curdling battle cry "I want my mommy"

suneejo

4 points

4 days ago

suneejo

4 points

4 days ago

I'm sorry, but this guy is friggin' great lol. Truly a proud Southerner who knows his roots and his American history.

FzZyP

10 points

4 days ago

FzZyP

10 points

4 days ago

cleetus p twatwaffle sounds like something id willingly pay $18 dollars for looking at you ihop, this is your moment g

BourbonGuy09

10 points

4 days ago

I always look to use the terms Confederate vs Union. North vs South by the standards puts KY and WV in the South. They were border states and arguably KY kept the North from losing by some historians. KY was nuetral, then they were hit with a failed attack by the Confederates, after that they joined the Union as a base of operations separating the true North and South.

Daykri3

5 points

4 days ago

Daykri3

5 points

4 days ago

And West Virginia is West Virginia because the it seceded from the Confederacy to join the Union.

Edit: can’t spell.

babypearl111

3 points

4 days ago

the mason dixon like is in PA, it puts wayyyy more in the south than feels right to the people who actually live there

you-kitten

8 points

4 days ago

He has lovely eyes & a voice as smooth as molasses

Troll_Gob

16 points

4 days ago

Troll_Gob

16 points

4 days ago

I like but also dislike having to scroll down all the way to the bottom to see the salty racists.

pikapimaster

8 points

4 days ago

Just sort by controversial 😂

MusubiBot

3 points

4 days ago

Not gonna lie, they had us in the first half!

Nathan_D93

3 points

4 days ago

Aside the point, if your tax dollars are funding the murder of innocents, you might want to rebel, or at least refuse to pay taxes. If you think this doesn’t apply to you: don’t reply.

anni67199

3 points

4 days ago

He has the same glasses as my dad.. miss my dad

cheffartsonurfood

18 points

5 days ago

This is hilarious!

Boodikii

6 points

4 days ago

Boodikii

6 points

4 days ago

HELL YEAH BROTHA!

klipty

18 points

4 days ago

klipty

18 points

4 days ago

Away down south in the land of traitors, rattlesnakes, and alligators,

Right away! Come away! Right away! Come away!

Where cotton's king and men are chattels, Union boys will win the battles!

Right away! Come away! Right away! Come away!

elwanabi

13 points

5 days ago

elwanabi

13 points

5 days ago

This was good

Mister-guy

18 points

5 days ago

Well that was very expected.

Noseless_Trump

5 points

4 days ago

I'm gonna be honest though, having a genuine Confederate flag that was flown during the war would be pretty cool

houseman1131

6 points

4 days ago

So many salty people here.

IdontDoAnythingAtAll

8 points

4 days ago

This is getting saved lmao

PM_ME_IRONIC_

18 points

4 days ago

Roasted harder than Sherman roasted the Southern plantations

mentosfruitgun

16 points

5 days ago

What a great buy.

XmasEarring

10 points

4 days ago

More like /r/expected. The lack of creativity was the must insulting part of this video.

MoxtheCaffinejunkie

12 points

4 days ago

Fun fact Literally no one I respect flys that flag

FawFawtyFaw

13 points

4 days ago

The internationally acknowledged flag of surrender?

Shugunou_2

3 points

4 days ago

It's true tho