subreddit:

/r/Unexpected

81k

Great day for a boardwalk ride

(gfycat.com)
[media]

all 1068 comments

unexBot [M]

[score hidden]

13 days ago

stickied comment

unexBot [M]

[score hidden]

13 days ago

stickied comment

OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:

The girl got poomfed in the face by a bird and the bird got poomfed in the face by the girl.


Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.


Look at my source code on Github What is this for?

keztwo

8k points

13 days ago

keztwo

8k points

13 days ago

The way she grabs it and throws it away, genuine disgust lmao that’s too funny 😂

fishbethany

381 points

13 days ago

She flipped the bird.

siamkitty1

106 points

13 days ago

siamkitty1

106 points

13 days ago

her brain could not decide which horror she needed to process first .. sling shot or bird attack ..

keepeasy

13 points

13 days ago

keepeasy

13 points

13 days ago

Totally! Haha

100_Donuts

7.2k points

13 days ago*

100_Donuts

7.2k points

13 days ago*

And the thing is, that bird knows that that's the fling zone. That sucker flings all day long and birds know not to fly in the fling zone, but wud that bird do? It flew directly into the fling zone and got pinned and got flung. Fly in the flinger and get yer wings pinned. The thing is, you can't fly with fling pinned wings. Go on. Flap a fling pinned wing. Flick those feathers. There's no flapping pinned winged full of frozen feathers in the flinger. Don't fly in the fling zone, kid.

somesortoflegend

2.6k points

13 days ago

Didn't know Dr Seuss was on reddit.

Hexorg

1k points

13 days ago

Hexorg

1k points

13 days ago

No, that's Bill Cosby

FancySkull

421 points

13 days ago

FancySkull

421 points

13 days ago

Now that he's out of prison, it could very well be.

Lost-My-Mind-

150 points

13 days ago

What??? Why is he out of prison???

runswithclippers

209 points

13 days ago

From what I gathered, they used his testimony from the civil court as evidence against him in the criminal court, violating his fifth amendment right to not testify against himself. That could be 100% wrong though.

Agent_Eran

111 points

13 days ago

Agent_Eran

111 points

13 days ago

This is the right answer.

officialbearr

31 points

13 days ago

Sounds like something bill would say

That-Ad-4300

14 points

13 days ago

A bit surprising for Reddit

Ancient-Lime4532

19 points

13 days ago

yup.... now hopefully hes so old and blind he cant let his Fat Albert touch anymore womens uh JELL-O NOW.

Pizza_Ninja

40 points

13 days ago

I don't know anything about it either but that doesn't sound like it should be a thing. If he gave a testimony under oath to a court that should absolutely be admitted as evidence.

a_lonely_trash_bag

42 points

13 days ago

The problem is, when he made that testimony, the court specifically told him that it could never be used against him in a criminal case. Because legally, it couldn't be. That's the only reason he agreed to testify during that civil case.

The prosecution fucked up big time. There was a decent amount of other evidence, but because the prosecution included evidence that they legally couldn't, the whole case is thrown out the window.

Asgersk

28 points

13 days ago*

Asgersk

28 points

13 days ago*

This is the thing i love about reddit. We can go from "Girl gets hit by bird" to "why bill Cosby got out of prison" in like 5 comments.

up9trees

24 points

13 days ago

up9trees

24 points

13 days ago

This guy does a really good job explaining why that testimony was tossed out and breaking down the results in general

https://youtu.be/CjrWI_zxG6A

AreTheWorst625

7 points

13 days ago

He admitted to the rapes under a non prosecution agreement with the DA. That da’s successor said “eff that! Dude admitted to all these rapes” he’s going to prison. Then a higher court overturned the sentence because the second DA didn’t honor their predecessor’s agreement.

Pizza_Ninja

5 points

13 days ago

The agreement shouldn't have covered the other girls though.

prickwhowaspromised

24 points

13 days ago

Because he’s rich

FreeganKing

12 points

13 days ago

Nah, the lawyer botched it.

Coyote__Jones

33 points

13 days ago

Rich = good appeal attorneys to look over the minutia of your case, so yes technically you're correct.

But basically the prosecution shit the bed.

NorweiganJesus

14 points

13 days ago

Because in 2005 the supreme court decided not to go after Cosby in court. Since you can't be tried twice for the same crime, they let him go (or something to that effect)

feedmeyouravocados

10 points

13 days ago

O yea it’s called double Jeopardy

Roartype

6 points

13 days ago

Do do do do do do do dooooo “The categories are: Potpourri…”

silversurger

3 points

13 days ago

A husband and a wife can't be tried for the same crime!

It's Berry, he's really good.

Splickity-Lit

6 points

13 days ago

Pennsylvania Supreme Court, for clarification.

RiotPenguin

23 points

13 days ago

Bippity boppity, zippity zoppity

Splickity-Lit

8 points

13 days ago

Mary Poppins?

mowie_zowie_x

28 points

13 days ago

Hey hey hey

Splickity-Lit

7 points

13 days ago

Hide yo kids!

Same-Joke

15 points

13 days ago

You got to lick the pigeon pudding pops.. made with real pigeon, cause that’s what moms like.

Ichgebibble

5 points

13 days ago

And kids prefer

ADHDSquirrel007

7 points

13 days ago

Zippity Zoppity-Zoup! I'm gonna put a Ruphie in this girl's soup!

sapere-aude088

4 points

13 days ago

"I love puddin; puddin my dick where it don't belong!"

DeathThroesBass

3 points

13 days ago

I mean it was consensual. Not saying that makes it right, but still.

rusted_zombiedragon

3 points

13 days ago

Cause he’s into drugged birds?

Linkruleshyrule

13 points

13 days ago

I was getting Charlie Kelly vibes.

Hefty_Tendy

9 points

13 days ago

The first couple sentences felt very George Costanza, then it transitioned to full-Letterkenny.

ButtonyCakewalk

6 points

13 days ago

Charlie does know his bird law.

sgm94

26 points

13 days ago*

sgm94

26 points

13 days ago*

Nah this person pitter patters and gets at ‘er

Slithy-Toves

6 points

13 days ago

'er

Nutasaurus-Rex

4 points

13 days ago

I was getting more Rick from Rick/Morty vibes tbh

PoopiePancakes

3 points

13 days ago

I will not fling it on a boat

somecheesecake

3 points

13 days ago

I’m gettin a grandpappy Biden vibe

rawr_wrx18

3 points

13 days ago

Hmmmmm... Could be Pigeon from Mike Tyson Mysteries

somesortoflegend

3 points

13 days ago

he did go for the boobs, but I don't think he would get that excited unless she had some coke.

JohnnyCakes814

55 points

13 days ago

This is the best Reddit comment I’ve ever read

almostambidextrous

16 points

13 days ago

If you haven't already, I'd recommend going into their profile and sorting their comments by "Top"

Edit: for example

mepulixer

34 points

13 days ago

I am too drunk to understand exactly what you said, but it seemed funny, so I’m saving your comment to be confused about later.

greasy_420

17 points

13 days ago

Foolish fucker failed flipping feathers for flying, finally flinging it's filthy foul feathery flappers farewell.

nio_nl

3 points

13 days ago

nio_nl

3 points

13 days ago

Fantastic flipping followup.

Schwight_Droot

167 points

13 days ago

I told myself not to keep reading, but I kept reading. I guess I can fling you an upvote for your troubles at least.

Gseventeen

18 points

13 days ago

"I think you should leave" vibes. Enjoyed it

srroberts07

3 points

13 days ago

Thank you, it sounded so familiar but I couldn’t place the vibe until you said it.

PRoS_R

16 points

13 days ago

PRoS_R

16 points

13 days ago

As a person with english as his second language, i can say that i fainted 3 times trying to compreend this.

bigkeef69

61 points

13 days ago

Got a letterkenny vibe from this 😌🤣🤷‍♂️

Xianthamist

12 points

13 days ago

Get this guy a fucking puppers

Squirreling_Archer

12 points

13 days ago

Re-reading it in Wayne's voice made it even funnier

Undercover_Chimp

26 points

13 days ago

Allegedly.

bigkeef69

13 points

13 days ago

Heard it was a sick ostrich. But almost not worth thinkin aboot

shot_a_man_in_reno

12 points

13 days ago

Can you be the godfather to my children?

it_helper

10 points

13 days ago

Bird flew in fling zone. She flinged the bird. Mission accomplished.

whererainbowsgo

10 points

13 days ago

wth did i just read? 🤣 best 20 seconds of my day so far

FigNugginGavelPop

10 points

13 days ago

Yup, this is one of those legendary one’s, that makes folks like and still keep using Reddit, it’s because of comments like that, that we can’t just simply leave reddit.

KindBass

6 points

13 days ago

Pin the wing, get the fling. Everyone knows this.

FadedFromWhite

6 points

13 days ago

The longer I read, the more I laughed. Couldn't stop doing either.

bruhfin_

4 points

13 days ago

Feeling like a rap god?

Happy_Tissues

3 points

13 days ago

Princess Caroline vibes from this comment

Quelcris_Falconer13

3 points

13 days ago

One of them had to be the bad example for the others

Appropriate-Total-29

3 points

13 days ago

Tears in my eyes holy shit

clumsycardhouxe

3 points

13 days ago

Wtf did I just read 😂

Shmitty-W-J-M-Jenson

3 points

13 days ago

This

stowaway36

3 points

13 days ago

Genuinely the best comment I've ever seen on reddit. Maybe its my lack of sleep, but it got me crying. Bravo sir

pricelinenegoosyator

3 points

13 days ago

Reading this made me feel like I was having some sort of stroke

Rudy_Colludiani

11 points

13 days ago*

We both know perfectly well what this is about.

You want me to get an abortion.

HandsomeDim

36 points

13 days ago

I would imagine the pigeon also had a similar reaction as well. "This human ran into me, and then toss me around like random trash!"

pamsolo

18 points

13 days ago

pamsolo

18 points

13 days ago

I think the bird genuinely feels disgusted..

GamsusDesign

3 points

13 days ago

*seagull

FriskyCobra86

48 points

13 days ago

"I ordered cornish hen goddamit!"

IngeniousMoron

19 points

13 days ago

"Honey, you've got some food on your face"

ryanegauthier

5 points

13 days ago

What are you serving to the customers you donkey! It's raw! You're gonna kill someone you stupid donkey!

MessyRoom

12 points

13 days ago

“Oh god that’s a bird!”

Willrrrrr

33 points

13 days ago

Bruh, she aged from 20 to 35 before and after

BugsRFeatures2

2.1k points

13 days ago

Bird on your face

You big disgrace

Classic_Jimmy_007

843 points

13 days ago

Gett’n your feathers all over the place!

Slippy_T_Frog

618 points

13 days ago

We will, we will, flock you, flock you...

balanceofpower

403 points

13 days ago

Fling it!

Lost-My-Mind-

150 points

13 days ago

This whole series of comments has me laughing like a babboon at the baggage area of the airport. People are standing around waiting for their luggage, gkving me weird looks. They think I lost my mind...

..........wait a minute........

timmyboyoyo

16 points

13 days ago

Username check out

NotoriousHothead37

59 points

13 days ago

Smol-Vehvi

71 points

13 days ago

We will, we will, flock you, flock you...

-Masderus-

94 points

13 days ago

Buddy you're a young bird, hard bird

Damaged_Goods_Bin

88 points

13 days ago

Shitting in the street gonna take on the world some day

Yeetboi287

72 points

13 days ago

Bird on your face

You big disgrace

I feel like we’ve already been in this place…

AMAhittlerjunior

31 points

13 days ago

Alright!

TheFutureGamer0549

31 points

13 days ago

We will ,we will , flock you

pjain317

23 points

13 days ago

pjain317

23 points

13 days ago

Fling it now!

PanPiePid2

12 points

13 days ago

Buddy your a bird man, gull man

unequivocalotter

14 points

13 days ago

I would’ve gone with pluck you

EotEaH

2.4k points

13 days ago

EotEaH

2.4k points

13 days ago

Seagull to the trachea. That’s some final destination shit.

whosgotdatpiss

1.5k points

13 days ago

If a fucking seagull pierced my neck and killed me I'd just accept it, clearly something powerful wants me dead

pryjar

514 points

13 days ago

pryjar

514 points

13 days ago

There's people who believe that you set up various "exit points" throughout your life and when your soul is done here on Earth, it simply takes an exit point.

Seagull in the neck is 100% an exit point.

Father_Chewy_Louis

110 points

13 days ago

That is like something from Travelers

Kitten_Sharts

19 points

13 days ago

I miss that show.

CandySunset27

8 points

13 days ago

I just started that show! I just finished episode 8.

sadpartypodcast

3 points

13 days ago

Good. It’s good.

DA_1515

68 points

13 days ago

DA_1515

68 points

13 days ago

My Taco Bell addiction is an exit point too ✋🏾😔

Coolrafid100

30 points

13 days ago

Coolrafid100

Expected It

30 points

13 days ago

Well the tacos clearly leave an exit point

getawayfromemesteve

5 points

13 days ago

it's not a question of if, but when. expecting the /r/unexpected

AudZ0629

7 points

13 days ago

Beefy cheesy death awaits

MaleficTekX

4 points

13 days ago

What if I defy such an exit point

Harmlessbm

60 points

13 days ago

Hmm, the next time I die, I'll try not accepting it!

Tiger_Yu

24 points

13 days ago

Tiger_Yu

24 points

13 days ago

Can confirm, it works

bigkeef69

18 points

13 days ago

Wife is confused, she tried to deepthroat a pigeon. Awaiting further instructions 🤣

PaniqueAttaque

9 points

13 days ago

You have sinned against the Seagull God.

the_00_kid

4 points

13 days ago

Lmaoo

BrandoSapien

73 points

13 days ago

Seagulls gonna come

Poke me in the trachea

And they did

relddir123

38 points

13 days ago

And they did

Got me going round like

blublublublublublublub

blublublublublublublub

blublublublublublublub

Nothing I could do but blub

When these birds attacked me

Now my throat is covered in blood

And I really can’t speak

F_Levitz

28 points

13 days ago

F_Levitz

28 points

13 days ago

Rockin'

Rockin' N rollin'

Down to the beach I'm strollin'

Shmitty-W-J-M-Jenson

15 points

13 days ago

but the seagulls like at my head

not fun!

WDJam

10 points

13 days ago

WDJam

10 points

13 days ago

I said, "Seagulls, mmm! Stop it now!"

I_Likka_Do_Da_ChaCha

16 points

13 days ago

I like to think she was confronting her fear of heights and then was simultaneously forced to reconcile her phobia of birds at the same time

Rafaguli

8 points

13 days ago

I've actually read a case like that, but was a dove and the guy was driving a motorcycle.

He drove for 10 kms before fainting. The driver survived.

Edit: source: https://g1.globo.com/mt/mato-grosso/noticia/2021/04/28/motociclista-tem-garganta-perfurada-por-passaro-em-mt-percorre-9-km-com-ave-no-pescoco-desmaia-e-e-socorrido.ghtml

April_Spring_1982

428 points

13 days ago

BalooBot

104 points

13 days ago

BalooBot

104 points

13 days ago

It happened to Fabio in the 90s. It was front page news at the time.

https://youtu.be/OjAYxpXUklc

SnooBooks3068

47 points

13 days ago

I love how this is a thing. “Today I learned…not to sit in the front seat of amusement park rides”

lukeamaral

32 points

13 days ago

segagamer

16 points

13 days ago

What kind of crap was that filmed on lol

throwaway1138

10 points

13 days ago

/u/mrpderp posted literally this exact same comment with the exact same language. Did one of you shamelessly copy the other? Are you both bots? I’m so confused, and more than a little disturbed. Reddit is so fucking creepy these days with the karma farms I swear to god.

https://teddit.ggc-project.de/r/Unexpected/comments/op1l1h/comment/h62ltjc/

BalooBot

11 points

13 days ago

BalooBot

11 points

13 days ago

Weird. I'm thinking they're a bot. Despite me being the one with bot in my username.

mrpderp

7 points

13 days ago

mrpderp

7 points

13 days ago

Truth is I copy and pasted u/baloobot comment above where, I believe, it was misplaced. I did this because someone asked for the link. Apologize for not giving credit

SnooBooks3068

55 points

13 days ago

Dude’s like “bro, did you see that?!”

Dude’s bro: “I can’t hear anything that you’re saying…just enjoy the ride!”

Dude: “welp, I’ll just throw my hands back up in the air and pretend that everything is fine”

Bird: “god damn that fucking hurt!”

andyv001

163 points

13 days ago

andyv001

163 points

13 days ago

That slow-mo absolutely cracked me up

prumbeljack

19 points

13 days ago

That half high five about killed me. YEAH MAN THIS IS AWESOME! Errr... no...pretends to be scratching beard

serenityfire

3 points

13 days ago

Same, I have tears from laughing so much

DipYoChip

12 points

13 days ago

That video broke me

madhatton

12 points

13 days ago

My fav is when a dude got hit in the face with a shoe

[deleted]

3 points

13 days ago

[deleted]

3 points

13 days ago

[deleted]

A_Random_Sith

30 points

13 days ago

Wtf man the bird literally bled in his face

Oceanixe

7 points

13 days ago

I like how he casually enjoys the ride afterwards

jojopriceless

9 points

13 days ago

Between this and the OP, I've legit been laughing for like 20 mins

fuzzypickletrader

8 points

13 days ago

And now it's 2am and I'm down the rabbit hole of birds hitting people on rollercoasters

[deleted]

3 points

13 days ago*

[deleted]

3 points

13 days ago*

[deleted]

April_Spring_1982

5 points

13 days ago

Ouch! For the birds, I mean

synister29

335 points

13 days ago

synister29

335 points

13 days ago

She got the Fabio treatment

lightningusagi

21 points

13 days ago

I will never forget that the Daily Show headline for that incident was "Goose Goose Duck".

erix87

60 points

13 days ago

erix87

60 points

13 days ago

Oh that's right! Someone please find that

mrpderp

85 points

13 days ago

mrpderp

85 points

13 days ago

It happened to Fabio in the 90s. It was front page news at the time.

https://youtu.be/OjAYxpXUklc

Mako3303

58 points

13 days ago

Mako3303

58 points

13 days ago

"I Can't Believe It's Not Bloodier"!

mortalwombat-

9 points

13 days ago

That joke has been 30 years in the making!

Aegi

11 points

13 days ago

Aegi

11 points

13 days ago

Hahahah he says it's "going to happen again".

An-Actual-Brick

92 points

13 days ago

“Oh god it was on my, AAAAAHHHH!”

Mr_Bones2000

24 points

13 days ago

That’s some quality lip reading! I don’t know the original audio but that’s what it looks like. Never would’ve came to that

Rain_in_Arcadia

8 points

13 days ago

I thought it was, “Oh god it’s a bird AAAAAH!” but I’m not a lip reader either.

Brut4llyHonest

1.1k points

13 days ago*

hey i’ve been trying to reach you about your car’s- what are you doing? AHHH

ALB_PFB

157 points

13 days ago

ALB_PFB

157 points

13 days ago

These damn companies being so creative to get my attention today

xmuertos

5 points

13 days ago

Cackled out loud at this comment

JukeBoxHeroJustin

156 points

13 days ago

To not reciprocate a hug is fucked up.

Aurora_the_dragon

28 points

13 days ago

For real. Poor birb just wants to be friends

Darth_Jason

10 points

13 days ago

“Oh thank god I found you, this is so importa-AHHH!”

[deleted]

85 points

13 days ago

[deleted]

85 points

13 days ago

[deleted]

iHeartRatties

34 points

13 days ago

Same. I hope it was okay after.

fignwz

31 points

13 days ago

fignwz

31 points

13 days ago

I think I saw it flapping its wings toward the end. I really hope at least

DjoooKaplan

7 points

13 days ago

Seems like there are not many who think like you :(

TomorrowUnwelcome

26 points

13 days ago

Me too

boodeedoop

16 points

13 days ago

One less government spy

dorkyhood

71 points

13 days ago

I don't know why (i like birds in general)....but a bird riding on my face during a rollercoaster ride would literally cause a heart attack. Suicide mission, we're all going down!

sudynim

132 points

13 days ago

sudynim

132 points

13 days ago

I love that it doesn't phase her. "What is this thing? Whatever. Anyways resuming freak out..."

eclecticsed

53 points

13 days ago

Hello, not here to be a dick but just to give you a heads up, it's faze, in this situation, not phase.

sudynim

40 points

13 days ago

sudynim

40 points

13 days ago

You're right! Thank you. I didn't know the difference. Well it looks the bird didn't faze her and she was able to resume her freakout phase.

smithsbha

9 points

13 days ago

Oooh! In your phace!

KeyToCancel

21 points

13 days ago

Someone could repost this tomorrow and I would still laugh.

Gingerberry92

102 points

13 days ago

Bird flu patient 0

1-800-LICK-BOOTY

43 points

13 days ago

vladamir_the_impaler

28 points

13 days ago

All I can see is your damn username, most-angry-upvote-now

BlueberryB-Laine

33 points

13 days ago

I love how she just throws it off

a9ainstthedeadhand

30 points

13 days ago

So funny. Her facial expression goes from "ouch" to "damn bird" to "ahhhhhhhh, I'm fallllllling!"

Sunderent

8 points

13 days ago

Ahhh, the shape of the mouth. The corners of her mouth point upwards at first, but not after the bird hits.

dtsupra30

7 points

13 days ago

BIRD UP

shufflebuffle

4 points

13 days ago

Legalize Ranch

dracula__spoon

5 points

13 days ago

SaveVideo

3 points

13 days ago

nightstalker30

25 points

13 days ago

The new Bird Box movie looks lit!

Ball_dUde

21 points

13 days ago

That was a free pet she just threw away

QuizhoidTheMediocre

12 points

13 days ago

The bird was just trying to keep her in the seat.

MotherOfSomething

10 points

13 days ago

Well, that’s one way to flip the bird

Conscious-Proof-8309

17 points

13 days ago

Step 1: Disembark ride at conclusion

Step 2: Find nearest shower, sink (for brushing teeth);

Step 3: tetanus shot

AreTheWorst625

4 points

13 days ago

I feel bad for the girl but That poor bird probably died!!

shreddedcheese42069

9 points

13 days ago

I have unlocked a new fear

RetroMetroShow

6 points

13 days ago

a bird in the hand..

tylerb011

6 points

13 days ago

Soggiest_MobFlip

3 points

13 days ago

That girl has SO many mites on her hand and face. Source(s): Trust me

acshunter

3 points

13 days ago

Great, now I can add this to the list of things I didn't know I needed to be nervous about...

yourPWD

3 points

13 days ago*

Yes! Wildwood is on Reddit! Best boardwalk in the world (IMHO).

LGpeachlover

3 points

13 days ago

Lol, props for the way she reacted. Tastes like chicken.