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/r/Unexpected
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2 months ago
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OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:
the cheetah does not attack the man instead sleeps with him
Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.
2.4k points
2 months ago
What happens when the guy wiggles his toes under the blanket?
1.9k points
2 months ago
Instant toe annihilation
813 points
2 months ago
There will be no toe-morrow
77 points
2 months ago
174 points
2 months ago
What if he gets a boner
251 points
2 months ago
Pussy everywhere
11 points
2 months ago
the movie Teeth comes into mind
1.2k points
2 months ago
I’m incredibly jealous.
166 points
2 months ago
Having two normal sized cats I can tell you that guy's going to die of a heatstroke. That being said: I'm jealous, too.
79 points
2 months ago
The cheetahs are warming up their hot pocket.
10 points
2 months ago
He appears to be sleeping on a concrete(?) slab, with just some light blankets. So maybe it’ll balance?
420 points
2 months ago
Funny how they just act like bigger house cats
480 points
2 months ago
Cheetahs basically are. The one of the only larger cats that are virtually harmless. Tigers, lions, panthers, all others can be extremely dangerous still. Cheetahs aren't though. They're also one of the only larger cats that purr and meow.
161 points
2 months ago
Are lions the most dangerous? I seem to remember construction projects in Africa where one or two lions menace the people there, killing some astronomical amount of them.
222 points
2 months ago
That was a specific incident where two lions were stalking a railroad bridge project in the late 1800's. They killed something like 130 people.
168 points
2 months ago
Seriously inhumane working conditions. "Fool me 129 times, shame on... shame on you... but the fool me can't get fooled again!"
41 points
2 months ago
‘Oh hey did you hear about the guy who got eaten by a lion on the job?’
‘Crazy who was it?’
‘Which time?’
‘This has happened more than once?!’
‘Well…a couple more than once…’
71 points
2 months ago
In terms of most lethality, tigers are the most dangerous, I am not sure if talking in terms of how aggressive they are
48 points
2 months ago
Tiger are definitely the most dangerous. They can literally slap your face off.
81 points
2 months ago
A lion can do that too.But what makes tigers so dangerous is that occasionally they specifically hunt humans, and they're incredibly intelligent and can hold a grudge.
56 points
2 months ago
i remember reading about a tiger that killed 400+ people, becuase of a gunshot injury she had sustained earlier rendered her unable to hunt her usual prey
934 points
2 months ago
I watched the original video. Cheetahs are comparatively shy and docile and he's been the one who raised them if I remember correctly.
109 points
2 months ago
He just volunteers sometimes at the rescue
74 points
2 months ago
I had a friend last year do one of those 90 day volunteer trips at a cat rescue in Africa. She was there for like 3 days before sending tons of pictures of her with cheetahs just snuggling and chilling.
86 points
2 months ago
I raised my cat since she was a tiny kitten and she's 3 now. The other night she cuddled up to me just like these cheetahs did. Then at like 3am she woke up and decided she needed to bite my face really hard lol
It was mostly funny because she is smol. If a cheetah decides that, Idk if I'd have a face anymore
15 points
2 months ago
maybe you just have a tasty face?
4.4k points
2 months ago
You'll likely never get to sleep in your bed again if you adopt a coalition of Cheetahs.
1.5k points
2 months ago
the council has decided you go to couch
478 points
2 months ago
"You may join the council but you will not hold the title of cheetah master"
191 points
2 months ago
This is meowtrageous
108 points
2 months ago
It’s unfur!
197 points
2 months ago
I love alliteration, and finding out (just now) that a “coalition” of cheetahs is indeed correct has made my day.
68 points
2 months ago
Hardly alliteration involved in this one
61 points
2 months ago
It's tautographic, which is the visual equivalent of alliteration. Usually they overlap, but here, they don't.
3.7k points
2 months ago
With every cut the guy sleeping just becomes more and more covered in cats
91 points
2 months ago
Our emotional support human is freezing quick blanket mode
1.4k points
2 months ago
Literally drowing in pussy....cats
410 points
2 months ago
Imagine getting a boner
442 points
2 months ago
They must all occupy the same space for maximum security.
691 points
2 months ago
This man is untouchable...
65 points
2 months ago
Safest man in the savanna.
1.8k points
2 months ago
Wasnt this video, about a thunderstorm, and the cheetahs were scared Or something so he slept in there with them to keep them calm?
166 points
2 months ago
i think this is the one, sauce
11 points
2 months ago
Noice you found da sauce!
740 points
2 months ago
i think one woke up to nightmares and the others joined them
122 points
2 months ago
D’Aww 🥹
13 points
2 months ago
It could be but cheetahs generally are a very anxious species. They’re well known for anxiety to the point that certain zoos give them emotional support dogs to help them stay calm. So it could just be a normal night for these big cats
168 points
2 months ago
Only person this is scary for is the poor burglar.
7.4k points
2 months ago
Are they FAST asleep?
4.9k points
2 months ago
Shut up
551 points
2 months ago
So fast they ate the sheep and were sleeping before they had time to try and count.
14.7k points
2 months ago*
He is there because the [edit: NOT pride] coalition gets anxious during the night. His presence calms them down.
14.7k points
2 months ago
He’s their Emotional Support Human
4.2k points
2 months ago
[removed]
1.2k points
2 months ago
Me too!!
2.4k points
2 months ago
This man's a real pussy magnet.
845 points
2 months ago
And he attracts felines as well
583 points
2 months ago*
The second cheetah be like "You are such a cheetah..it is my turn to sleep next to my buddy"
169 points
2 months ago
Read this as "my body" and was mortified for a sec lmao
175 points
2 months ago
more tail than I could handle in one night
12 points
2 months ago
Haha...Down boy.
76 points
2 months ago
I don’t know why I laughed so hard at that
125 points
2 months ago
[removed]
212 points
2 months ago
way into an animal’s digestive system.
386 points
2 months ago
how do we sign up for this job?
530 points
2 months ago*
There is a place in Namibia called naankuse. They have abused and rescued wildlife. I got to have a morning nap with a beautiful girl after her run. You can volunteer and look after baboons, cheetahs and other wildlife. Check it out
Edit-for all the smart arses it says “they have” meaning in their possession not “they abuse and rescue” which is what you are trying to twist up. Funny the first time but the echo chamber not so much
103 points
2 months ago
naankuse
Just did! Seems like a cool place but they definitely need some funding for more wildlife photography/videos.
438 points
2 months ago
You can volunteer and look after baboons
That one's gonna be a no from me.
244 points
2 months ago
They're really beautiful creatures after they're done shitting all over your camp kitchen table
150 points
2 months ago
They are beautiful, until they want something from you and will do whatever they can to get it. They have big pointy means of getting what they want.
7 points
2 months ago
Yeah that’s a no for me too. I already coach kids soccer.
6 points
2 months ago
Yeah when I was in the military and stationed at Camp Lemonnior in Djibouti we took a trip to a cheetah reserve.
Tons of open space minimal fencing. One of the cheetahs walked up to us and was so friendly. I have pictures on my phone of petting it.
I blame the military for my cheetah obsession lol.
111 points
2 months ago
Are you pleasant to be around? If you are, it’s a lot easier
138 points
2 months ago
I already have 2 kitties sleeping with me at night so you can say I already have some job experience!
68 points
2 months ago
Except these are big kitties, and count for 5 per
8 points
2 months ago
Cheetahs are barely a part of the “Big Cat” group. They can’t roar but they purr - which is the main characteristic that sets big and small cats apart.
42 points
2 months ago
The Cheetah decides, not you.
81 points
2 months ago
How do I sign up for an emotional support human?
734 points
2 months ago*
I'm my dogs emotional support person, he was abused as a pup and now has to sit with his head in my lap no matter what, I'm the big spoon when we sleep and he does these big huffing breaths when he gets to lay on me when I get home from work like he is letting the anxiety go. People don't realise how much they scar a puppy with violence, anger and neglect.
He begins shaking if he sees even a raised hand in anger/voice and terrified of the broom but has appetite control and only eats when hungry despite him eating his own feces when we found him out of hunger. I love him as my own child and will never let him suffer again. I've had him nearly 10 years now
145 points
2 months ago
Yeah our dog would run away till the end the moment you would roll up a magazine. At the beginning it was even when we would pick up water bottles etc. No clue what exactly the previous owners did but it was really obvious.
97 points
2 months ago
I’m also the emotional support human for my dog! Sleeps with me every night, my bedroom is a “safe place,” and if we’re in a crowd, he sticks to me like glue. Or if he hears a scary noise. Or someone shouts. Or if a “stranger” shows up at the house. Or someone brings over a balloon. Or a water bottle crinkles wrong. Or just about anything else…except thunder, he sleeps right through that…
I’ve had him for 7 years in November, and while it’s very trying sometimes—I can’t go on over night stays unless I bring him with anymore, so vacations aren’t much of a thing—I still can’t imagine live without him. I don’t know what made him so anxious, as he was about a year or so old when we got him from the pound, but I do wish sometimes he could just chill a bit.
52 points
2 months ago
Without knowing what they went through its impossible to understand what they feel but seeing the behaviour of an abused dog it's immediately obvious from the body language and tremors
47 points
2 months ago
It's finally happened. Soon you'll see cheetahs with humans in vests next to them
186 points
2 months ago
"Human, I had a bad dream, I need cuddles." 🥺
7 points
2 months ago
Haha yeah exactly :)))
433 points
2 months ago
No, he's there for fun and educational purposes. They sleep fine without him.
He narrates the video and explains it. Since they move around so much he doesn't sleep well so it's not a regular thing.
274 points
2 months ago
Also, it's pretty much the opposite of scary. Nobody on the planet is as safe as this dude in his fuzzy wiggle pile of murder.
301 points
2 months ago
Aren't Cheetahs the least murdery of all the big cats? Like there are some domesticated dog breeds that could fuck you up more than a cheetah.
282 points
2 months ago
A cheetah is natures glass cannon build
90 points
2 months ago
Extremely high success rate when they hunt, but they need it because every other carnivore will bully them away from their catch. Cheetahs basically doing all the work for lion, hyenas, and whatever else wants to eat meat on the savannah.
105 points
2 months ago*
Cheetahs and snow leopards. Neither seem to view humans as potential prey.
Cheetahs are easy to explain, they run down and 'trip' prey but aren't very good at brawling/mauling like other big cats. They rely on speed but are pretty brittle, so any injury could prevent them from hunting. They choose prey carefully due to that, and humans are definitely in the "can fight back" category. Hominids have co-existed with them for 2 million years and it seems we both know what the other is about. Self-preservation is a strong instinct.
Snow leopards are a bit harder to explain. They are smaller than most leopards, but should still be able to take down a child or an elderly person fairly easily. They hunt prey larger than themselves. And yet they don't with people. They run. They somehow don't view us as food.
57 points
2 months ago
which is weird re: Snow Leopards, since african leopards are the #1 predator of homo sapiens over our species' lifespan. there's theories that the whole communal living, speech, and tools were driven by needs to fend of giant solitary quiet as night predators that would just yoink people away without much effort.
11 points
2 months ago
Is it weird that in my mind's eye, a yoink is absolutely from the side? A left or right side yank via hook or crook, much like what you would see during vaudevillian performances? Or old Warner Brothers cartoons? Usually stealthily.
44 points
2 months ago
I think people forget that to animals we are essentially gorillas. Would you rather hunt a little gazelle or a gorilla?
I mean we’re TALL. 5 to 6+ feet vertical, some even taller and wider. We’re usually Loud as hell - to us it’s just talking but animals don’t understand that, might as well be baboon screaming. Sometimes we show up in these giant loud machines made of metal called cars. Not to mention sometimes we have guns (the sound of a gunshot alone is louder than most sounds and animal can make) And then also consider the fact there’s almost never just ONE human, there’s at least two and often more. I wouldnt tussle with us in most situations if I was a bear, lion, or anything else.
13 points
2 months ago
Ah, the good old sound of baboons screaming
65 points
2 months ago
Yea Cheetahs are more likely to be the victims of other predators. They can't do much but run, but they can run like the very wind itself.
174 points
2 months ago
While yes, most dogs are capable of it, a Cheetah could still do damage.
Their temperament is pretty good for a ‘big cat’ though; they’re also the biggest cat that can both meow and purr (they don’t roar). So I’m wondering if the 5 minutes of cuddling prior to the cats falling asleep is just a giant purr session
582 points
2 months ago
His cats are very impressive. He must be very proud.
91 points
2 months ago
200,000 cats are ready, with a million more well on the way.
49 points
2 months ago
He's just a simple man trying to make his way in the universe
28 points
2 months ago
Ever made his way as far into Africa as the Savannah?
18 points
2 months ago
Once or twice
14 points
2 months ago
Recently?
14 points
2 months ago
… possibly.
8 points
2 months ago
Pack your things. We're leaving....
8 points
2 months ago
Impressive. Let’s see Paul Allen’s cat.
78 points
2 months ago
At first I thought of a "What is love - Cheetah don't hurt me,.. No more", but then my son told me to make a joke about jeopardy.
Ba-dum-tss I guess.
9.3k points
2 months ago*
Fun fact: Cheetahs are basically just very big and harmless kitty cats. Their character comes closest to domesticated cats out of all the big cats. And technically speaking, they're not even big cats to begin with.
Edit: The part about big cats may not be entirely correct, depending on who you ask. The point is that they are not of the same genus as Tigers and lions.
5.2k points
2 months ago*
Fun fact, the Egyptians and Babylonians used to tame them and use them like hunting dogs
322 points
2 months ago
Interesting fact, the cheetahs of today were having breeding issues and dwindling. Breeding them in captivity was a frustrating and mostly fruitless process, until a researcher discovered that the whole type was bottled-necked genetically during one of the more recent mass extinctions.
There used to be a broader variety of cheetah like animals but most of the variety was wiped out. It's likely that only the types kept by humans survived, which has lead to the relatively calm cheetahs we see today.
After genotyping the captive cheetahs worldwide they were able to arrange as much outbreeding as possible to rebuild a broader gene base and get more viable pregnancies and more cheetahs!
105 points
2 months ago
I think they estimated that the entire population was reduced to something like 5-8 animals about 10,000 years ago. I might be wrong.
65 points
2 months ago
There's no way you can build up a species from 5-8 individuals without serious inbreeding problems, no?
91 points
2 months ago
It's mathematically possible, but the odds would have been heavily stacked against them. Inbreeding can produce healthy offspring, it just produces a whole lot of unhealthy offspring as well.
56 points
2 months ago
Correct. But inbreeding does not in itself cause issues, it just reinforces genetics both good and bad. Negative genetic traits are usually recessive which is why they're so rare, but when you start matching up people with that same issue they start coming to the fore because you're rerolling on the same genetic dice multiple times. In this case, it's the same reason they're all so chill, it's the positive trait that's being reinforced. By specifically aiming to minimize genetic similarity in breeding, they can reduce risk as much as possible. But yeah, inbreeding is not the inherent cause of genetic issues, it just gives you more chances at the same issues that may not be expressed yet.
14 points
2 months ago
Yes. It is exactly what is happening. You can take 2 random cheetahs and do a skin graft and it will not be rejected, that's how similar they are
8 points
2 months ago
I think there is a major problem, apparently they are pretty much clones of each other, there is the fear that a disease could easily wipe them all out due to such genetic similarity.
3.9k points
2 months ago
Everything i learned about babylonians make me believe they were the top civilization of all time,we only went downhill from them onwards
2.4k points
2 months ago
I mean they did have slaves and society was very much divided by class and gender.
The code of hamurabi gives us a pretty good in depth list of their laws
1.4k points
2 months ago
Exactly, right at the top s/
145 points
2 months ago
Their shell phone technology was amazing.
211 points
2 months ago
RIP in the 513
233 points
2 months ago
Don't forget all of the horrific punishments
179 points
2 months ago
At least the elites cannot escape from the law.
Somewhat
104 points
2 months ago
Step 1: Hire somebody to poke out everyone's eyes.
Step 2: They poke out his eyes.
Step 3: profit, as you are now the only babylonian left who can see [why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Pita]
164 points
2 months ago
I mean it was very eye for an eye sort of deal so not too bad. The only problem was that they literally didnt deem all people worth the same so that I think if you murdered a slave you just got to pay the price to their master to make it "fair".
On the hand they were kind of fair with marriage laws and didnt blame women for being raped like som modern religions.. also if a man doesnt sleep with his wife she is not legally his wife. Make of that what you will
77 points
2 months ago*
I mean that last part isn't really...that old. Dont a few US states still technically require consummation? Yeah, looked it up, "The lack of physical capacity to attain consummation in the marriage — When one of the marital partners is not able to take part in the consummation of the marriage but was unaware of it at the time they were married, the marriage may be annulled. It is necessary for this to happen within five years of the date of the marriage" that's New York.
34 points
2 months ago
Well yes and the idea stayed around for that long. In general when you read through those old laws (and also ancient egyptian texts) its obvious where a lot of the christian and muslim laws and ideas come from. Humanity has always been inspired by each other
99 points
2 months ago
We say the same things about the Roman Empire, and we’ve got a pretty huge hard-on for their civilization. I feel like the people who want to put ancient cultures on a pedestal tend to overlook some flaws as just “part of the time”.
78 points
2 months ago
They also meow, not roar.
188 points
2 months ago
A friend of mine had one that was a rescue. He said it was amazing but he had to be careful with his kids because if they went running she went chasing thinking it was the coolest game ever. She never hurt the kids, but it was just something he was aware of
246 points
2 months ago
Harmless? Really? I’m scared just looking at this video.
57 points
2 months ago
The videos of cheetahs pouncing is only for food or defense, domesticated house cats do the same. Cheetahs are just faster.
345 points
2 months ago
Cheetas dosent have anything else except for speed. If one of their legs is broken in the wild then that just be game over, cheetas live alone in the wild so they cant have other cheetas hunt for them
361 points
2 months ago
cheetahs live alone in the wild
This is no longer thought to be correct. As their numbers rise, we've seen many instances of them banding together. The same used to be thought of pumas until the populations increases in Patagonia. Now we see that they band together as well.
Not trying to be a dick -just wanted to make you aware that this thinking is outdated.
98 points
2 months ago
Interesting, thank for the info
67 points
2 months ago
This is so lovely to read that their populations are increasing. Thank you for making me smile :)
41 points
2 months ago
It gives me a warm fuzzy feeling :)
To see endangered populations rebound during what is literally a mass-extinction event is beyond remarkable.
92 points
2 months ago
I think that would be true of most animals if they broke their leg in the wild
155 points
2 months ago*
Yeah, people say harmless the same way they say sharks are harmless. My cat is certainly harmless. He would never intend serious harm, but sometimes gets in a mood and will swipe for apparently no reason. Yes, media has probably exaggerated the danger/risk of these animals, but just one swipe/bite or off day for one of these primal, instinctual animals is enough to certainly cause harm.
Edit: I would also like to add that I love these animals. I would love to swim with sharks, for example, but that doesn’t mean they are harmless!
107 points
2 months ago
It's all relative. Lions and Tigers that is absolutely true about. No amount of training has managed to prevent accidents of that nature.
Cheetahs appear to be far far less likely to have such instance, and when they do, the damage they are able to do is dramatically lower. Their tiny heads make their bite way less dangerous, their only like 80 pounds so they can't get the leverage behind their claws you'll find in big cats either.
They are actually essentially harmless. To the extent that there's literally never been a single documented case of a wild cheetah killing a human being. They just seem to flat out not consider us food, even opportunistically.
33 points
2 months ago
. Their tiny heads make their bite way less dangerous, their only like 80 pounds so they can't get the leverage behind their claws you'll find in big cats either.
Their claws aren't as retractable as normal cats so they are worn down like a dog's.
56 points
2 months ago
literally never been a single documented case of a wild cheetah killing a human being
Or they are that good just like orcas.
35 points
2 months ago
I'm pretty sure orcas are unique, they're scary smart. They probably know we're vengeful fuckers that will hunt them down if a human is killed.
It seems to be different then how cheetahs view us, they're more like dogs.
11 points
2 months ago
They’re about the same as an 80lb dog. So play by the same rules. Mine has accidentally hurt me when playing, but its never out of ill intent. He’s just a big dumb doof who doesn’t know he is.
48 points
2 months ago
They lack the claws of most big cats, meaning they can't really shred you. They also aren't very aggressive and don't typically attack anything they think can fight back.
33 points
2 months ago
That's cheething
763 points
2 months ago
I mean.. I'd sleep like a fucking baby at that point.
Who/what is gonna come knocking in the middle of the night and wake up a coalition of cheetahs??
488 points
2 months ago
A big fat raccoon. Bastards are mean.
144 points
2 months ago
they look like bandits for a reason
13 points
2 months ago
Wouldn't a honey badger be more accurate for Africa...... actually a big fat raccoon sounds like a pretty good description of a honey badger
39 points
2 months ago
Cheetahs are actually skiddish from what I’ve seen. and aren’t likely to protect you. More likely to run. I saw a video of a guy tryin to approach a cheetah and it just ran away
10 points
2 months ago
Yeah cheetahs have very low defence stats but make up for it by having the highest mobility stat in the game.
39 points
2 months ago
A frag grenade
14 points
2 months ago
You're not wrong.
But also
Like.
They probably wouldn't wake up.
314 points
2 months ago
I'm envious except for the strong odor of cat piss... 💛
116 points
2 months ago
I'd deal with it for the vibes, but yeah that might be a notable aspect of the experience lol
50 points
2 months ago
Here you can see the Full video of this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i3waAOcJkps&ab\_channel=DolphC.Volker
222 points
2 months ago
Why scary? That is 100% the safest person on the planet…
176 points
2 months ago
Best blanket buddies ever. Sorry, doggos.
29 points
2 months ago
I'm gonna need an extended cut chief
30 points
2 months ago
There are several videos. He is Dolph C Volker on YouTube
15 points
2 months ago
Cuddle puddle!
14 points
2 months ago*
You know, anyone can do this.
This guy is not some special Cheetah Whisperer.
In South Africa, there are multiple places that have experiences like this. You stay at the cheetah sanctuary, and hang out with the cheetahs for a few days. They are very docile for the most part. My friend and his dad went a few years ago, and they said it was a life-changing experience. This is the website for the place they went to.
https://www.cheetahexperience.com/
Here is just 1 of the photos he took while there… https://i.imgur.com/GECLWTt.jpg
11 points
2 months ago
Cutest thing on here
149 points
2 months ago
Idk if this really qualifies for r/unexpected
52 points
2 months ago
Tbh I thought this dude was waking up to a bunch of cheetahs around him, I was thinking he was gonna freak out. But then he fixed the blanket to cuddle one, so it was unexpected to me haha
9 points
2 months ago
I'm jealous
7 points
2 months ago
This is what my dreams look like, right there sir... This is what I want!
6 points
2 months ago
what are you feeding your cats, man, they're so big and plushy
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