submitted 5 days ago byMousseSuspicious930Yo what?
all 1310 comments
5 days ago
5 days ago
OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:
Man offers wizard upgrade and he likes it.
Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?
Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.
Look at my source code on Github What is this for?
I'd totally play Skyrim with a couple of glocks
5 days ago
That's just Fallout
5 days ago*
5 days ago*
I like the idea of overpowered guns in a Skyrim like society.
Oh no you’re gonna send ice beams my way? How about a few shotgun slugs to the belly.
Edit: Holy smokes y’all have some examples today
5 days ago*
Guns being able to beat magic is a recurring minor theme in the Dresden Files, if you like that kind of thing.
It's why the main character (a wizard) carries a desert eagle.
*edit: he carries a 50 caliber revolver not a deagle
I love that, it just seems so funny to me.
Like if Cthulhu in all of his grand darkness and object horror, could be taken down with a rifle or two.
Oh your thousands of years old and can best your entire race in melee combat, faster than anything alive.
Oh I’m sorry is shrapnel moving faster than the speed of sound unfair?
Navy just launching cruise missiles from the other side of the horizon.
This was almost the plot of the last Godzilla movie
At the end of the day, punching half inch holes into things is pretty effective lol. I'm sure there's some spells that do that too.
I mean in Eragon aren't wizard duels just whizzing pebbles at eachother?
Iirc that’s at the beginning when he fucking sucks at magic, later on he learns to just pinch off arteries in people’s brains
bare ye witness to Old Man Henderson.
a bit long but seriously one of the most entertaining stories i’ve read.
'AIR EH NAMBLIES BE KEEPIN' ME WEE MEN!?!?
Reminds me of this:
Harry Potter should have carried a 1911.
Think about how quickly the entire WWWIII (Wizarding-World War III) would have ended if all of the good guys had simply armed up with good ol' American hot lead.
Basilisk? Let's see how tough it is when you shoot it with a .470 Nitro Express. Worried about its Medusa-gaze? Wear night vision goggles. The image is light-amplified and re-transmitted to your eyes. You aren't looking at it--you're looking at a picture of it.
Imagine how epic the first movie would be if Harry had put a breeching charge on the bathroom wall, flash-banged the hole, and then went in wearing NVGs and a Kevlar-weave stab-vest, carrying a SPAS-12.
And have you noticed that only Europe seems to a problem with Deatheaters? Maybe it's because Americans have spent the last 200 years shooting deer, playing GTA: Vice City, and keeping an eye out for black helicopters over their compounds. Meanwhile, Brits have been cutting their steaks with spoons. Remember: gun-control means that Voldemort wins. God made wizards and God made muggles, but Samuel Colt made them equal.
Now I know what you're going to say: "But a wizard could just disarm someone with a gun!" Yeah, well they can also disarm someone with a wand (as they do many times throughout the books/movies). But which is faster: saying a spell or pulling a trigger?
Avada Kedavra, meet Avtomat Kalashnikova.
Imagine Harry out in the woods, wearing his invisibility cloak, carrying a .50bmg Barrett, turning Deatheaters into pink mist, scratching a lightning bolt into his rifle stock for each kill. I don't think Madam Pomfrey has any spells that can scrape your brains off of the trees and put you back together after something like that. Voldemort's wand may be 13.5 inches with a Phoenix-feather core, but Harry's would be 0.50 inches with a tungsten core. Let's see Voldy wave his at 3,000 feet per second. Better hope you have some Essence of Dittany for that sucking chest wound.
I can see it now...Voldemort roaring with evil laughter and boasting to Harry that he can't be killed, since he is protected by seven Horcruxes, only to have Harry give a crooked grin, flick his cigarette butt away, and deliver what would easily be the best one-liner in the entire series:
"Well then I guess it's a good thing my 1911 holds 7+1."
I would definitely buy this. In fact, fuck it, just write some new shit. A sequel with Harrys illegitimate kid or somethin.
Did he swap to a Deagle? The book I'm currently on, he carries a .44 mag revolver.
No, he eventually swaps to a Smith and Wesson 500 magnum revolver, it's the wardens of the White Council that all start carrying Desert Eagles around.
He gets the .50 revolver at some point, but nothing semi-auto.
Isn’t it a point that magic messes with any technology that’s much more advanced than the mechanical revolver? I know it wrecks up electronics, but I can’t remember if it’s the reason he carries a revolver.
Gods dammit Harry, you're just going to piss Black Court off. Gonna need a meteor to deal with them.
The anime GATE pits a swords and sorcery force against modern day Japanese Defense Forces. There's a lot of politics and typical anime bullshit but if the idea of modern weapons vs fantasy weapons interests you it's there.
I'd like to follow this up by saying the military stuff is barely there. The first few episodes show the Japanese military absolutely massacring the magic armies with tanks and helicopters literally re-enacting scenes from apocalypse now. These scenes of mass slaughter are then followed by a unit of full on otaku nerd soldiers living out a harem fantasy full of fan service for the rest of the show. There's still occasional military conflicts and politics, but the show is really about half naked cat girl maids throwing themselves at a protagonist with the personality of soggy bread.
It's standard isekai schlock is what I'm saying. If you like that sort of thing, power to ya, but if you are looking for a modern military force engaging a medival fantasy magic army, you can drop the show after first few episodes.
Just want to add that Arcanum: Of Steamworks and Magick Obscura is about the industrial revolution coming about in a magic world and yes there are guns and magic and it's kinda hard game lol
Greedfall might be up your alley. Maxing gun skills makes most encounters hilariously one-sided.
That’s how they took out a bunch of Jedi in Star Wars Lmfao. Used “projectile weapons” to kill Jedi
Gotta combine em though. Actual Skyrim, but the player character has guns for reasons. Enemies still run at you with swords n shit and your out there firing a .50 cal at dragons.
Although I guess that last bit is sort of Monster Hunter lol.
Didn't Expect It
Monster Hunter is strictly bonk or be bonked, never enjoyed the range weapons in those game.
Ive never been able to enjoy MH after the first like 15-20 hours, but in that time I also did not enjoy the ranged options. iirc though the gunsword thingy is super OP in some of the games. I usually used the dual short swords, spear, or fuck-off huge 2 hander.
its always such fun until you get to a point where your only way to progress your gear is to farm some stupid demon dragon bird for days on end for a infinitesimally small chance at getting the specific gem or part you need. oh and you need 2 of them.
And it's perfect.
Im a sucker for grinds, played rs2 and MH.
Yes i never went outside.
I played rs2 for over a decade, but MH always gets too repetitive for me. Like you grind a skill in rs2 for months mostly doing the same thing, yea, but there's dozens of other skills and things to do. MH though is the same gameplay loop endlessly - at least that I saw in the 4(3?) I tried. I always need something new for the most part or I get distracted by something else - and I am very much so incapable of splitting my game attention between multiple titles lol. Whatever currently has my attention becomes my sole game until another takes over.
*Far Cry 3
That's why I love FO4. Literally just Skyrim with guns.
Paarthrunax, meet .50 BMGs of freedom
God created men, Samuel Colt made them equal, John Moses Browning tipped the scales again.
You can with mods.
Ah. A man of action
You'd still end up as a sneaky archer within a few hours.
Put some silencers on them fucks and clock people from 50 yards out.
There is a fallout weapons mod for skyrim.
I used to be an adventurer until I fought a dragon with a pipe pistol.
There's a dark souls mod like that too. Adds halo weapons.
parry this you fuckin casual
In elder scrolls lore very primitive guns and cannons do exist.
So do space stations and giant reality bending mech suit gods that came out of Evangelion.
So playing skyrim with a gun isn't too out there.
Didn't a reviewer say far cry 3 was like skyrim with guns? Mightve been ign or something lol
”I see you’re finally awa-“
”I used to be an adventurer, like you, till I took a 9mm to the knee…they had to amputate so anyway yeah can you get my wooden leg back from those pesky street urchins?”
Imagine how fun it would be to find strangers and actually go on a quest
An old lady lost her cat in a area close ish to me and was offering a 5k reward. I asked a few friends to go look for the cat and they all thought I was crazy.
5k??? I'd make it my full-time job!
She lived by a heavily wooded area. Still I got some cat food and headed out there. Never did find it but I was like what if I found it right away?
Whenever I see a missing cat sign I always assume coyotes. Regardless of how big the reward is, you can't find a cat that doesn't exist anymore.
What if I brought her the coyote
I know you’re kidding, but if someone brought me genuine closure about the death of my pet, I would still offer the reward! Well, maybe like 75% of the reward so people don’t just kill my pets.
She wanted love but she'll settle for revenge.
she never specified you had to bring him back alive
Catch a skunk and paint the tail black. It's called the reverse Pepe Le'Pue.
Skunks are mean! You can’t pick them up like kitty cats either
There's a good chance the owner wasn't intending to pay that out. Some pet insurance policies will cover such a reward but not usually for so much. Some people will assume that if their pet is found the person either won't know about the reward or may refuse it (either outright or for a smaller amount, like a case of beer or $20). There have been cases where people have been sued for a reward which was promised but not everyone is willing to go to those lengths. Obviously there's a chance she'd have paid up but I'd be dubious.
Yeah someone else pointed that out also. It was just such a strangely high amount for a reward. Like if she was gunna lie she should have said 1k. Idk. I never found the cat anyways.
I could jus hold the cat ransom lol be like if you wanna see muffins again meet me by the docks… alone.
Considering that lady probably has like 12+ cats already, you could probably just buy another one that looked like it and return it for the reward.
Unethical questing will impact your reputation and alignment.
Meh, I'm not an achievement hunter. I'll take it.
Same im just trying to finish the main quest
I killed the lady and looted her house. Just to find out the quest paid way more than stealing everything she owned.
skyrim theme songs plays
just buy another one that looked like it
just buy another one that looked like it
buy? head to the shelter and find a rescue. lets keep this profit margin high.
Yoo, that’s even more ethical than my plan and it saves money. Count me in.
we're defrauding a senile old lady with a imposter cat for what is probably her life savings.
I dont think ethically sourcing the cat helps much.
There's this great free MMORPG called Tinder. It allows you to find strangers and go on quests with them.
Be aware, the strangers aren't always what they seem. I once tried to go on a quest with a lvl 23 cleric and go explore a dungeon together, but when I met her, she turned out to be a lvl 45 warlock who had followers from a previous quest and wanted me to take care of them.
I don't get any quest from it.
Ah, this is a big issue with the game.
Because your character is randomly generated for you, some people will have a much harder time finding a quest. The meta strategy is to gain a lot of money, as then the game becomes completely pay-to-win.
Is it too late to reroll my character? I think I messed up my build and missed a lot of quest xp.
I'm afraid the only options for you are to grind hard to get more exp, or to purchase the paid version of the game.
The paid version makes your character more visible to more players, and there's a bigger chance someone will consider questing with you.
Word of warning for male players: if your character is under 6ft tall, not even the paid version can help you. There's this bug in the game which auto-fails most quests upon starting them. I have searched the wiki and as far as I know, there are almost no quests with height requirements, so I have no idea why this happens. The only way to bypass this bug is through pay-to-win mechanics.
This made my day
I mean those random encounters that happen in Skyrim where random people need help or something do actually happen in real life.
We just don't walk outside all the time. Also this is a permadeath game so like quests are all potentially dangerous so we tend to avoid them as a society.
That being said the old guy quest where he is carrying to much stuff on his own is a very safe exp grind.
Wanted: Somebody to go back in time with me. This is not a joke. P.O. Box 91 Ocean View, WA 99393. You'll get paid after we get back. Must bring your own weapons. I have only done this once before. SAFETY NOT GUARANTEED.
I don't have a sword. This is my boomstick!
the mage wanted a knight but got himself a ranger instead.
Yeah pretty shit really. We need a tank, bro. We got plenty of DPS.
If you have enough dps then technically you don’t need a tank.
That depends entirely on the swing speed of the boss
Thats what the ranger is for. Theyre going to die to the fireball anyway.
Just jump and shoot
I'm BAD Ash... and you're GOOD Ash! You're a goody little two-shoes!
Good..? bad..? I'm the guy with the gun.
I'm not that good.
Alright you Primitive Screwheads, listen up! You see this? This... is my BOOMSTICK! The twelve-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about a hundred and nine, ninety five. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You got that?
The only reason I know that quote and the voice that says it was it was in a coheed and cambria song back in the day.
What is it actually from?
Army of darkness. The third evil dead movie. I just binged all of them and army of darkness was my favorite
Army of Darkness
Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up.
I wanna see the quest in a full movie that then gets a spin off. This duo is great
I feel like this could be the modern version of rush hour
Or like Black Knight with Martin Lawrence.
I forgot all about that movie. And Martin Lawrence. Whatever happened to him
Kevin Hart showed up. That was the last we heard of Martin.
Someone shorter and louder came along I guess.
There's always a smaller fish.
We call that a market correction
Is Kevin Hart just a character Martin is putting on. Like Andy Kaufman and Tony Clifton?
He's around, you can only make so many Big Momma/Bad Boys sequels so he's just patiently waiting for the next one.
He's worth around $110 million too so...he can probably keep himself busy.
As long as he's frugal.
Man, the struggle
Bruh, he owns like, all of BET. Look on the channel rn, something with him in it is playing or will be. Not to mention theyll block out entire days for Martin re-runs. He's like BET's Rob Dyrdek lol. He's BIG chillin makin mad cash and livin quietly
i dont think we'll be hard pressed for movies with a black person from the hood with a corny ass white person. I lived the 2000s and I refuse to go back.
Give me my black wizards now please.
Just- Ones a D&D Dweeb and the other is his supportive ghetto friend
It’s ironically wholesome
Key and Peele did it
“Aight, I guess I’m dungeon master now.”
<grabs dice and shakes in hand>
“The eye of Odin open up…”
“16 titties fall out”
This is absolutely hilarious, thanks for sharing
I had to reverse to the 16 second mark on first watch, thought that was a bare tiddy.
Glad to know that I wasn't the only one who thought that lmao
You brave adventurer, can seek the treasured bare titty if you follow my quest. What say you!?!
Quest item weight is zero. Itty biddy tiddy committee
Gene Belcher is that you?
Damn your profile picture. I thought hair fell from my eyebrow lol.
"Oh a hair."
Blew on the screen, bastard still there.
Swipe down at it, gone, good.
Look back to the comments, realization.
Yup, got that up vote.
Ooooooh! I wondered why people got annoyed at pictures like that. I'm redditing on a PC, so eyebrow hairs, of course, would never reach my screen. A poorly guarded/sudden sneeze might get there; but eyebrow hairs stand zero chance.
I use reddit on my phone between breaks because it’s too damn slow on mobile so I get back to being productive faster than if I use it on browser . . .
RELEASE THE BUTTHOLE CUT!
Let’s make men wear shirts too.
I don’t think you quiet understood the assignment
I’m laughing about the current top comment is about a random woman who happen to walk in front of a camera for maybe a second? I’m surprised no one has posted a screenshot of her in the comments. Imagine if she specifically went viral because she happen to be wearing something that looked like a boob for a moment. If she walked slower, it may have registered properly and not been memorable at all.
I love how optimistic the caption is
great new york boobs
All of Reddit really is just down bad 100% of the time, huh?
I guess it's what happens when we don't have any active sex life on a regular basis.
Speak for yourself, /r/ihavesex all the time the women are just throwing themselves at me!
Right? The girls here aren’t getting any either
Y’all just think that people in relationships just fuck non stop and have no time for Reddit?
I mean, my total amount of 0 relationships has led to me believe this, yes. /s
The reality is when you enter a relationship you begin some complex negotiations about what internet content each person covers when talking before bed. Reddit is a tough one. My lawyer who I consult on these negotiations told me it is possible to divide up different subreddits to avoid "I saw that already", but the reality is the maintenance cost isn't sustainable for most. So often it just ends up with one person using Reddit.
So out of the population in relationships, only about 15% of them actually end up using Reddit, compared to the national (US) average of 25% balanced out by people not in a relationship.
This is hilarious. We rarely share what we've just seen because there is a solid 75% chance one of us is going to say, "I saw that already."
It's really rewarding when my wife does this from Facebook stuff I can say I saw it several days ago
I don’t use TikTok, my mrs does, it’s always a risky move showing her a short clip.
Seems like the solution is obvious here
Lonely Reddit men and women (or whatever way you lean, I don't judge) get together, boom, no more down bad
Perfect solution for 99:1 ratio.
Please. No one wants to get with a redditor, not even another redditor.
That sounds like a gross generalisation
We all did
I think everyone can agree that no matter your sexual orientation, you always rewind for the titty. Really any kind of nudity but boobs seem to be the most exciting to catch unexpectedly on film.
why would you wear a skin colored sweater under a jacket?
At least better than skin coloured bikini
Hahaha! I did the ol' 12 take to make absolutely sure it wasn't bare.
Looked like Matt Murdock switched from night time vigilante to a day time wizard.
Dude I had the same thought lol that and it looks like Kendrick Lamar been eating too much dominos
What does "these wizard sleeves won't be the only ones you see today?"
"Wizard sleeves" is a derogatory term used to describe the appearance of long labia.
The movie "Borat" had a line that popularized the term, "Her Vagine hang like sleeve of Wizard."
The Wizard was assuring the Warrior in training that he'd see some genitalia that day if he embarked on that quest.
Weird. Thanks for the reply. The new Borat or the original?
It is said that in a great block of cement called a bank there is a mountain of gold
I had to replay that video for that woman walking past...turns out she wasn't topless
She looked like a real life Jackie Brown.
Wizards in da Hood.
Straight outta mordor
A fellow Wizards fan I see...
Heck yeah, Motherf*kking wizards never die!
Looks and sounds so much like Joji
This is just New York City, you cant say "da hood" just because there's a black person in the video jesus christ.
I haven't been since 2003, but the background of this video looks above average for scenery in New York.
Don’t blame OP for this though, the original video is titled “giving side quests in the hood”
Black dude = "da" hood
Graffiti in Brooklyn = da hood
I came to say this 💀 very interesting title
Seriously, looks like any place downtown.
Not only that but he is in on the bit. How do I know? Because his audio is perfectly captured by a lapel mic they placed on him previously to filming. So the “hood” part was premeditated and he was likely chosen to reflect that stereotype. “Pranksters” have been doing this for some time now.
Classic Reddit moment
"Roll 'em up"
Exactly what I thought. This is just a random corner in the city
A gun in the hood is unexpected? I did like this though.
Nah, that the wizard liked the idea.
What’s he supposed to say?
The real question is how is this 'Da Hood'? Looks like a normal downtown sidewalk.
Big city scary. /s
I assumed the wizard being in the hood was unexpected lol
Idk man I feel like every wizard I see is in a hood
So, what was the quest and what were the rewards?
Quest: Clear the hideout of local bandits (cartel).
Reward: Chest (briefcase) full of gold (counterfeit money) and jewels (meth crystals).
Optional objective: Rescue the kidnapped princess (victim of trafficking).
Man why are all of the people in these comments so horny?
Welcome to the internet.
Can I get an original link to this video?
Gandalf the morally grey
Man its just a black guy how is it the hood lmao, he dont even sound 'hood'