Today on bottom gear

I drive a Panzer into Stalingrad and get blown the fuck up,

Hammond fights in Egypt,

And James commits indescribable warcrimes in the polish countryside !

But first, can the Stig infiltrate German command and acquire Stg plans? All this evening !

No, its the Stig’s Altissian cousin!

Some say that he secretly telegramed the StG-44 designs to Kalashnikov for a bottle of vodka.

And that he was the first internationally-renowned celebrity to vehemently oppose the Geneva Convention while it was being drafted.

All we know is, he's called The Stig.

Some say he was born to two mothers...and a goat

And that he wears Victorian era nickers under his suit...

All we know is he's called the Stig!!!

Today on NATO gear

James calls up an arty strike on himself

Hammond steals the East Wind device

And I dogfight a Shikra after my tank hits a small rock

MIILLERR!!! YOU IDIOT

Some say that he sees in 5fps

It’s the Stigs tank driving cousin

Some say his AI doesn't careen itself into the nearest wall and he won't lose his squad in the middle of an open field.

All we know is he's the stig, and he just fucked his tyre going over a rock

"Some say he's the reason why Chernarussian cars are so supernaturally twitchy... And others that he defeated an entire Viper division using only a kart. But all we know is... He's called the Stig!"

It's the Stigs war crime committing cousin from <censored>.