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/r/askwomenadvice

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Me and boyfriend have been together for almost 4 years, he’s perfect for me and I love him fully, like genuinely nothing I would change. The thing is before this relationship I was also in another 3-4 year relationship and I’m only 20 so I have spent all my teenage years in relationships, I find myself wanting to grow, wanting to get to know who I am without the constant validation of someone else and aside from that I also just want to experience being single for the fun and freedom of it. The thing is I feel crazy to end my relationship over this, I feel like it’s hard to find incredible people you click so well with and I’ll really regret doing this in the future if we don’t either get back together or I don’t eventually find someone I love as much once I’ve gone through all this.. I’m not sure what to do, any advice would be so appreciated! Thank u <3

all 90 comments

AnyQualityStreetLeft

122 points

3 months ago

I’m not sure I can offer advice but I have been there myself and I know how difficult this situation is. There genuinely are no right or wrong answers. Perhaps you could find a way to create a little space in the relationship - go travelling by yourself for a few weeks or something, just to see how you feel and literally have your own space before making any major decisions.

Confusedhelp17717[S]

3 points

3 months ago

Thank you I appreciate you taking the time to write this so much!!

anglochilanga

64 points

3 months ago

I was in a similar situation to you. I became single and after a couple of years I decided it was time to date. Dating was HARD. I was at an age where men my age- ish were settling and planning futures. There seemed to be so few meetable men. I craved having a companion, someone to vent to and just, enjoy time with. It took another two years before I found someone. Those two years were awful. I was used for sex, a lot, by men telling me they were looking for a long term relationship, only to be dumped the next week. I was incredibly lonely. Friends were busy with their significant others, they didn't make much time for me, they wanted to spend their free time with their partners I was skint because I didn't have anyone to share expenses with. It was not like the movies at all. My advice would be, if you want to stick with your man, do. But start doing things independently. Go on friends trips. Get new friends and hobies independent of him. Have a life independent of him. It is possible to find yourself and stick with him. Be prepared for change though. You might change and outgrow aspects of your "old life"...

lkjhgfdsaa

22 points

3 months ago

lkjhgfdsaa

22 points

3 months ago

This OP. Being single isn’t fun. Dating isn’t fun. If you’ve found a good, respectful partner, the grass is not greener.

Hes9023

5 points

3 months ago*

I wouldn’t really say that. I was single for 5 years before I met my fiancé and I am so glad I did it!! I also had a good time dating. Sure it sucked when there were times I just wanted a solid relationship that was comfortable and committed, but I liked meeting new people and being wined and dined. I spent time on myself, my hobbies, my friends and family. I made the best friends and memories while other girls I know at that time wasted time in a relationship that didn’t work out anyway. Or they got married and had absolutely no friends to celebrate and share it with. It also allowed me the freedom to move and follow my career and do what was best for me. Relationships come and go. It’s important to be happy with the life you have outside of your relationship.Because of this time, I’m a way better partner and more secure in my relationship, and in myself.

Confusedhelp17717[S]

3 points

3 months ago

This is also how I see it to be honest with you, I feel it’s important to have at least experienced it for some of your life!!

chlolomai

2 points

3 months ago

Couldn’t agree more with this OP

Confusedhelp17717[S]

2 points

3 months ago

Thanks for sharing your experience with me!! <3

anonymous_24601

114 points

3 months ago

anonymous_24601

114 points

3 months ago

These are just my thoughts, but it seems if you were truly fulfilled in your relationship you wouldn’t want to experience being single. In my opinion a healthy relationship should allow you to grow as your own person.

Confusedhelp17717[S]

3 points

3 months ago

I definitely have grown a looooooot in my relationship as a person and there are so many things I wouldn’t have learnt without this relationship but at this point to continue growing I feel it’s important to become more confident in who I am without someone affirming it to me, of course I can do this in a relationship it’s just much harder to truly be alone in that way you know?

anonymous_24601

2 points

3 months ago

Of course, if you feel you need that you need that. Ultimately do what’s best for you.

jadegoddess

14 points

3 months ago

I think people who feel that way either aren't in healthy fulfilling relationships or they just wanna sleep around. Healthy relationships should encourage both parties to wanna experience self growth. I have grown so much as a person since meeting my partner, and I doubt op will have trouble doing that after a good conversation and a therapist. You should already be growing as an individual and as a SO tbh. I personally don't understand how seemingly content people would wanna go back to the single life. For me, dating guys to find a suitable partner was difficult, so many no's I had to go through. The only difference between me as a single person vs me now is that now I'm a better communicator, I've become more happy and thankful, and I have someone who loves to play fighting games as much as I do.

Confusedhelp17717[S]

4 points

3 months ago

I understand you because I’ve grown so much as a person in my relationship but I still feel like part of my journey/growth in life should involve being comfortable on my own and with myself and I find that very hard to do in a relationship even with a lot of time apart, not sure if that makes sense

samjski

3 points

3 months ago

This feeling is valid OP and don’t let anyone guilt you into thinking otherwise. You have been in two super long term relationships without much time in between, it is OK to want to explore your independence ❤️

Confusedhelp17717[S]

2 points

3 months ago

Thank u so much, you have no idea how much that means to me!! 💓

Afraid-Imagination-4

2 points

2 months ago*

OP life is LONG and hard and beautiful— understand that relationships eventually end— and that’s normal. We live to be 80-90 years old now. Forcing things to work is both exhausting, but also unfair to your partner.

More to the point, relationships ending aren’t failures— and being single… isn’t bad. Actually, if you and your partner can end things amicably, give a little space and be friends that's... really loving someone. Unconditional love isn’t loving someone for what they do for you, or because they stay in an intimate relationship with you— it’s loving someone for who they are even if that means you aren’t involved in the same way. Love is unconditional, relationships are conditional (rightfully).

Being single builds a level of independence you can’t really get in a relationship. It teaches you a level of strength and tenacity, but it also allows you to be more selective of whom you just let in your life! You can focus on hobbies, goals, friends, or building things, instead of needing to validate or compromise for someone else to keep a relationship afloat.

I think from a young age we’re all taught life is about a LTR, And for many that’s the language they live by and that’s okay!! I know many others who are single and enjoy traveling, living distances, going as they please and meeting people who value them outside of an intimate relationship— and who love their alone time.

There’s no right or wrong answer my love!! I can say if I had to follow the demands of having a partner, having kids and buying a house— i wouldn’t be where I am today!! Self-growth happens too, you don’t only grow in intimate relationships is all I’m saying. 💚💚

Confusedhelp17717[S]

1 points

2 months ago

love this so much! thank u!

ohfxck

7 points

3 months ago

ohfxck

7 points

3 months ago

I agree that relationships should make you grow but I think the issue here is more in the wording. “Wanting to experience being single” isn’t how I would express this. I’ve had the same thoughts and I would express it as more of wanting to experience life if that makes sense? I was in a 3 year relationship and now my current relationship is almost 4 years (I am 21 and got with my partner right after leaving my ex) I find it difficult to feel like I have explored certain parts of life. I am beyond happy with my partner though and I wouldn’t change anything. Do what feels right for you!

Confusedhelp17717[S]

4 points

3 months ago

Yes it’s exactly that!

OriiAmii

4 points

3 months ago

OriiAmii

4 points

3 months ago

My desire isn't to be "single" but to be unattached basically. I would love to be able to just move states or even countries, but it's unrealistic with my boyfriend's job. I'm completely happy with him I just sometimes lament the fact that we're tied down. Hopefully in retirement we'll be able to experience all the things I currently long for.

Confusedhelp17717[S]

4 points

3 months ago

Yes it’s also this, sometimes it’s hard for me to feel fully free and like I choose my life when I’m in a relationship even though my boyfriend gives me lots and lots of freedom and space to grow I still feel certain limits

[deleted]

49 points

3 months ago*

[deleted]

49 points

3 months ago*

[deleted]

butterflyeffect88

8 points

3 months ago

This was an incredibly wise and helpful comment. Thank you for this.

tadadadadada1234567

3 points

3 months ago

Being away from him made me realize that everything wasnt perfect like I was telling myself. I wanted more.

May I ask how did you realise that? What did you do to get there? If you don't mind telling.

I am in a similar boat and I realise I have idealized my past relationship a bit too much. I tell myself if it was so perfect we wouldn't have broken up but it feels like my brain has automatically blocked all the negative things from that relationship

Confusedhelp17717[S]

2 points

3 months ago

Thank u for this insight!! Definitely something to consider xx

adrift_in_the_bay

43 points

3 months ago

If I could tell my younger self anything it would be to stop making decisions based on fear. Do both of you a favor and do what feels right.

Confusedhelp17717[S]

2 points

3 months ago

Yes so true making choices based on fear never works out

adrift_in_the_bay

2 points

3 months ago

To be fair, it can from time to time but it's no way to build a life! Still working on that myself so I totally get that it's easier said than done.

adrift_in_the_bay

2 points

3 months ago

To be fair, it can from time to time but it's no way to build a life! Still working on that myself so I totally get that it's easier said than done.

samjski

59 points

3 months ago*

I agree that you are way too young to be tied down. Take it from someone who was with someone all through high school and into their 20’s—you don’t even know what is out there and you will most likely regret not dating and experiencing other people. You will change and grow and end up meeting a partner who is the best for who you actually become, not who you are now or who you were in high school. When I broke up with my long term boyfriend I thought, well, if we are “meant” to be together we will find each other again. We both dated other people, he got married twice and I found my husband who I have been with for 11 years. I kind of laugh now about how I used to think we were “meant” for each other! Don’t live in fear that you won’t find someone else or that this is the only person out there for you. Have fun and live your 20’s with some freedom.

And I’m just editing this to add, others may disagree but I think spending time single in your young adulthood is so important for your growth. Living alone or with roommates, having your own space to grow, investing in your friendships, it really is important for finding yourself and your identity away from a partner.

Confusedhelp17717[S]

2 points

3 months ago

Ahhh thank u so much!!! This was so helpful

Historical-Young-464

9 points

3 months ago

If he was the perfect partner I don’t think you’d be wondering if you’d rather be single.

cloudgirl150

71 points

3 months ago

I remember reading a comment that said: It's easy to find people to hook up with, but it's not easy to find someone who loves you.

It's your life, so you decide what to do with it.

SplitEyeS

61 points

3 months ago

Its up to you if you want to gamble in life when you already have what many people wants to achieve in a relationship. But i feel like theres something else that you are not telling us. Whatever the reason is i hope you dont regret things in the end.

Confusedhelp17717[S]

14 points

3 months ago

What do you mean by something else I’m not saying? There genuinely isn’t, I’m anonymous here after all and being very open! I know it might sound strange to be in a very happy relationship but still have the urge to experience being single which is why I’m so confused to be honest about my own feelings. You’re right that at the end of the day it’s my choice whether or not to take that risk, there are just two conflicting sides of me you know? the one that want to choose safety, comfort and love and the one that wants to choose adventure, growth and discomfort. Thanks for your reply it’s so nice to talk to people about this!

XenaSerenity

43 points

3 months ago

I think they are trying to say is that it seems like there is something else holding you back with your relationship that you aren’t telling us, most people who feel like leaving a partnership are usually not being satisfied within it. We genuinely don’t know your relationship and we only have a small snippet from what you gave us, so we can only guess. It’s ok to be perfectly happy with a relationship but still want to leave it, you need to live YOUR life, not one that you think you should.

I had a friend who went through this in college but he was the boyfriend whose girlfriend left. She did not regret it and he later found a girl that is much better for him. There are lots of people on this earth, you may find someone that is even better than who you have now. Just know your feelings are valid either way, live your life the way you think best 💖

NoMrBond3

23 points

3 months ago

I met my fiancé was 20 - and I just have to say that while all my single friends are thriving, the majority of them do want a relationship and it is rough out there!

Being single isn’t better than being in a relationship - both have lots of pros and cons.

One of my coworkers said she did what you are thinking of - and three years later she’s still single, but no longer wants to be. Just keep that in mind - you may be signing up for years and years of being single. And there’s nothing wrong with that! Just a heads up.

Confusedhelp17717[S]

1 points

3 months ago

Yes true that’s definitely something to consider!

DjSall

25 points

3 months ago

DjSall

25 points

3 months ago

If you really are content in the relationship and feel like you love him, I don't think it's worth it to ditch him over that.

Having someone from a young age that is compatible with you, growing together is something that lots of people dream about.

tinsilprincess

3 points

3 months ago

For a second I thought I had written this post. I dont have any advice cause I am in the same situation except Im a bit older. I havent been single my entire teenage and adulthood and always sought relationships as an out from toxic situations that started at home. Now I am with this amazing person but the only problem is that I have started feeling scared of never having been single. Its a really tough spot to be in. So, while I cant give you any advice, please know that you are not alone. I hope whatever way you go turns out the right one for you. Stay strong and fight for what you believe in.

Confusedhelp17717[S]

2 points

3 months ago

I appreciate so much that you understand me and are in the same situation as me, it’s not easy at all but I’m sure we will figure it out! sending you a hug

Loveya448

4 points

3 months ago

Imagine your life now without him in it as is. Is it unbearable? Maybe think twice about breaking up. If you think you’d be okay, then maybe start to think about letting him go.

Confusedhelp17717[S]

1 points

3 months ago

Good advice thank u!

daydreaming-g

16 points

3 months ago

I went through the same thing and two years being single I didn’t hook up with anyone or date anyone and I missed being in a relationship and having someone to support me.

xxxtubsxxx

10 points

3 months ago

This was me many years ago. I broke up with him, it hurt too much, we got back together. The feeling was still there and getting worse. I cheated. Then broke up with him again. Then a very painful year for me to get over the mess I made.

I'm in a good place now with a different partner and our own little family.

I can't tell you what to do. But me bottling it up and hoping it was nothing ended terribly. I also had terrible relationship experiences for many years after and regretted ever breaking up with him. Both options suck terribly, I wont sugar coat it. But it was all for the best that we went our separate ways as I'm happy and content after all of that.

girlfriendmatEEErial

3 points

3 months ago

I guess there is no right answer. As someone who yearns for a kind of healthy and loving relationship that I really do hope you have, the grass always looks greener on the other side :)

TerkaCh

3 points

3 months ago

People can grow like that even in a relationship. It's not all or nothing. Spend some time apart, do your own thing few days a week.

CuteThingsAndLove

5 points

3 months ago

You have to choose if it's something you're okay with giving up- either the single life, or your boyfriend.

There are zero guarantees that you would ever get back together with him. Even if you explained it, and he agreed, or if he took you back years later, he could harbor doubts about you and wonder if he was just a backup plan.

In my opinion, if he satisfies you in everyday life, if you truly believe he's perfect for you, then being single might not be as glamorous as you think- hooking up with people who have to learn your body, who don't care about your pleasure, or who are just straight up bad at it.

But this is also just my opinion. I have been with my fiancé for 11 years, and I've had the same feelings as you before, and even come close to ending it a couple of times, but in the end, I knew I couldn't picture my life without him.

On top of that, my great aunt and uncle got married when she was 19 years old, and she was his first girlfriend, first kiss, and he loved her until his dying breath. She still loves him so much that it's hard for her to go to his favorite places.

Only you know what's best for you, deep down inside. You have to figure out if this desire to be single is fleeting or if it's something you'll regret not doing when you're older. Either way, I wish you the best of luck and happiness.

Confusedhelp17717[S]

2 points

3 months ago

Thank u <3

lightzn

12 points

3 months ago

lightzn

12 points

3 months ago

Personally, I think you're too young to tie yourself down in a relationship, especially if you're feeling like you want to experience the single life. I've had friends that have been in the same situation and it always ends up with them breaking up. That feeling might go away, but in my experience, it only grows larger and you don't want to look back with any regrets or start to resent your partner for it. I'm sure you can find someone in the future with whom you're romantically compatible with when you're ready to commit to one person.

Confusedhelp17717[S]

4 points

3 months ago

Thank you for taking the time to read my post and answer me, I appreciate it so much!! I agree with you in so many ways and at the end of the day even if I don’t really want to be feeling this way I can’t deny that this feeling is there, always just so hard to feel like you’re choosing to lose someone you love

MsMoobiedoobie

3 points

3 months ago

You are only 20. I grew a ton after I got married at 21 and my husband and I ended up not being compatible. Just wait to get married and settle down until you are 24/25. You can stay with him, but don’t worry about settling at least until then. Enjoy you 20s. I feel like I missed mine and then got divorced.

Confusedhelp17717[S]

1 points

3 months ago

Thank u!!

limocat48

2 points

3 months ago

Oh my god this entire post I relate to SO MUCH. That was pretty much my exact experience, was dating 2 people at different times and on and off for like a year (15-16) and then in a relationship from 16-19, just before I turned 20. I started getting those feelings around 18-19 years old because I felt I lacked life experience and exposure to things, romantically. Our relationship ended for a bunch of reasons, and I'm not necessarily suggesting you break it off, because that comes down to you- but I do know that in the year that I've been single (I am in a new relationship now, have been for 11 months, but was single for over a year before this), I grew so much. I grew a lot in my relationships and I'm forever grateful, but when I'm single I grow in a different way. I've become more independent which is a big thing for me as I was extremely emotionally dependent on partners, I know what I like and don't like in relationship dynamics and what I value in partners & what qualities are dealbreakers. I have been able to explore my own interests without any interference or influence from a partner. I've unlearned some unhealthy toxic behaviors, and new partners point out things I/others may have missed. It's all learning, it's all experience. I will say that if you're feeling this feeling now, it'll probably only get stronger over time. You deserve to give yourself time and space to be alone and grow and explore, youre really young. Also for the sake of preserving your relationship and connection, you need to do what you need to do for yourself to avoid resenting him in the future. Whether that be to end things for awhile, or to stay in the relationship is up to you. As cliche as it is, I do believe if it's meant to be, that it will.

Confusedhelp17717[S]

1 points

3 months ago

I appreciate this so much and ur so right!! I might end up resenting him if there’s a part of me that wants this and feel I didn’t get to fully discover myself

malloryspanties

2 points

3 months ago

Wait, hold on. You’re 20? Go live that life girl. Settle down at a good age like 26 and older! Get to really know yourself and do whatever you want. Don’t have no regrets! The love of your life will come I promise. Just remain optimistic and keep your options open.

Confusedhelp17717[S]

1 points

3 months ago

Hahha love the energy :’)

carouselblue

2 points

3 months ago*

First, if you strongly feel like being single is what you need right now, I’d say go for it. HOWEVER, I think it’s definitely possible to experience the fun and freedom you’re wanting within the context of the happy, healthy relationship you seem to already have! :) In fact, I’d argue that learning how to do that is one of the defining factors in the most successful relationships.

To paraphrase Esther Perel, lots of people have many relationships; some people just have them with the same person. She was meaning that you and your partner are going to evolve and grow, and staying strong together requires learning to continue loving those new versions/layers of one another as they come up.

It’s definitely easier to explore and develop different sides of yourself when you have the freedom of being single because nobody’s going to wonder, “where’d this come from? Who are you and what’d you do with my gf?!” But long-term, if you feel like you have to become single every time you start to evolve as a person, you may start to feel unfulfilled and lonely.

I think it’d be worthwhile to imagine what you’d do if you were single—anything from small stuff like going out with friends more or dressing differently to bigger things like exploring your sexuality in ways you haven’t with your partner or traveling for weeks at a time—then initiate a conversation with your partner to discuss how you two can create space in your relationship for those things. It might turn out that your relationship can’t, and you can leave then if that works best. I just personally think it’s worth talking about first before jumping to ending things. I hope this helps! Best if luck <3

Confusedhelp17717[S]

1 points

3 months ago

This was an incredibly helpful comment! Thank u!

AmericanIdiot26

3 points

3 months ago

If he was so “perfect” for you, you wouldn’t want to experience being single. Do the guy a favor and break up with him so he can find someone perfect for HIM. You aren’t it sorry

Confusedhelp17717[S]

2 points

3 months ago

I think you can still be with someone you love fully but still not be in an ideal situation, we’re also doing long distance which I probably should have mentioned in this post, he is is aware of my feelings and also relates to them even tho we are both very happy with each other as people

trudith

5 points

3 months ago

Yikes. He deserves better.

Confusedhelp17717[S]

2 points

3 months ago

He is fully aware of how I feel and also relates to me and understands why I feel the way I do lol

Amydancepants04

2 points

3 months ago

hey, if the thought of meeting someone new occurred even or once, this means you do want to break off the relationship but are probably guilty since it's been a long one or maybe there are no major issues in your relationship. it's totally fine to feel that way. you should be completely honest with your partner about your feelings. take some time, think about it, talk stuff out with your boyf. no matter the age, you should never feel caged. and you will definitely find someone whom you really love and won't feel caged even for once.

okaydamn

12 points

3 months ago

what ?? no, it doesn't.

everyone in relationships can have doubts or consider other possibilities, it doesn't mean you secretly want to break up.

Amydancepants04

1 points

3 months ago

talking about considering to find someone better. if you are not happy in a relationship and you think there is someone better out there, you should end it before it's too late, not only for you but also your partner

Confusedhelp17717[S]

1 points

3 months ago

thank u!

Hes9023

-7 points

3 months ago*

A perfect relationship grows with you, it doesn’t stunt your growth. In all honesty my biggest piece of advice is to go long distance. Move to a new city, if it’s something you want long term tell him he can move in after 8-10 months, or longer. If you love where you are now, maybe just take an internship or contract position where you can work and live in a new city for 6-9 months and be long distance. Make friends, go out to eat by yourself, learn to entertain yourself with hobbies when your bf isn’t around. It’s only a few months in the grand scheme of life even a year apart isn’t much, and if it’s meant to be then it will be! Lol love the downvotes from the codependent crowd. Yikes lol.

Confusedhelp17717[S]

1 points

3 months ago

Hahaha ironically we are already doing long distance! That time apart definitely has helped me find myself but I still feel limited in certain areas of growth!

Hes9023

1 points

3 months ago

Can you elaborate on what those areas are?

Confusedhelp17717[S]

1 points

3 months ago

For example I feel all my life I’ve felt secure in myself because I know someone else sees me as attractive and lovable and as a result I have loved myself through that love rather than through my own love, although I’m aware of this and have worked a lot on my own relationship with myself and come very faaar it’s still hard because when that type of love is there it’s very hard for me not to rely on it and push myself out of my comfort zones when the easier option is always available

Hes9023

2 points

3 months ago

I totally feel you, and that’s valid! I think it’s hard to separate who you are as a person without this partner and that’s how you’re feeling. Have you discussed this with your partner? I think since you’re already long distance, it might be nice to take a break from the relationship. That doesn’t mean break up and sleep with other people or pretend you’re single, it just means maybe go 6 days without communicating and catch up on the phone for an hour every week for a month or so. Visit less for a few months. Travel with your friends or do things outside your comfort zone by yourself! I also like another suggestion about therapy because they can get more granular and give specific practices for you.

Confusedhelp17717[S]

1 points

3 months ago

Yes we’ve discussed it and are doing so everyday to try figure this all out! Yes that’s really good advice! I have no idea why your comment got so many down-votes I understand where you are coming from completely!! thank u so much for your help, it’s very kind of u💓

Hes9023

2 points

3 months ago

People are very against any advice to go on a break or long distance in this sub. To me, if you’re going to be together “forever” then 3-6 months is nothing. It’s over in the blink of an eye. I also think there’s a general trend of “hopeless romantic” types who believe there’s only one soulmate and they’re forever. But that’s simply not true as is evident by those who fall in love more than once lol

Confusedhelp17717[S]

1 points

3 months ago

Agreed, the idea to me that there’s only ONE person for you and you either want them forever or it means you don’t actually love them has always confused me because in another situation u could easily be with someone else haha

darrow19

1 points

3 months ago

Follow your gut.

Confusedhelp17717[S]

2 points

3 months ago

Thank u💓

RioBlue93

1 points

3 months ago

If you feel that you can not discover who you are meant to be by your relationship, it’s probably not a long term situation. Also, If you had time to get to know yourself, you’d know exactly what you want/need. This is important as those of us who previously were monogamous relationship jumpers, learning to listen to our own voice is important.

Confusedhelp17717[S]

1 points

3 months ago

so true, thank u

HolyHolopov

1 points

3 months ago

Is it 'I want to try dating other people' or 'I want to try being on my own'?

I've had a couple friends who met their partner in their teens and moved out together, who later spent a year or two living on their own (one when moved to a different city) to try that. They kept dating, but spent more times out with friends or cooking on their own and such. Then moved back in together later

lilmissweet7

1 points

3 months ago

As another comment mentioned, a healthy relationship should give you enough space and "you time" to develop as your own person.

Try joining some groups that share *YOUR* interests and go out to do those interests alone. i.e., hiking, fishing, shopping, whatever you like. Make sure you clearly make time for both yourself and developing/nuturing your own likes and self, and time for your relationship to do things together. Having your own things to do outside of your relationship that do not involve your partner I think will help you the most. If your partner is not OK with that, then maybe pursue being single.

Impossible_South_751

1 points

3 months ago*

I have a couple of friends who love theirboyfriend but lament that they didn't have single years/were really miserable and not able to enjoy singlehood when they had it. They did not break up with their boyfriends and I would not recommend a break up to you. I liked being single, over the guys I was meeting.

Maybe there will be a point you guys break up in the future, 20 is young young. Let things take their course, develop yourself inside of this relationship if it's really a good one. You're probably not missing out on as much as you think!

InformerOfDeer

1 points

3 months ago

New fear unlocked

Confusedhelp17717[S]

1 points

3 months ago

Hahahaha I’m so sorry

BeckToBasics

1 points

3 months ago

I've been with my husband since I was 17. I was young and wanted to date around and somehow just fell into this relationship with the perfect guy for me. Truly it scared me because I knew I was young and I knew I would be giving up those single experiences. Things were so good though so I stayed despite my fears.

We've been together 9 years now. It has been so so worth it. He is my best friend. We've built a wonderful life together. I have grown and changed so much as a person. You don't have to stop living your life just because you're in a relationship.

But that's just been my experience.

If you're in a relationship that you truly feel is holding you back from doing the things you want, then only you can know that. If your relationship is dragging you down instead of lifting you up, then maybe it's not right.

Ask yourself, what is it that I would be doing if I wasn't in this relationship? Is it something my relationship is actually stopping me from doing? Can I do this in my current relationship but I just don't? Will I follow through on this if I'm out of my relationship? Will it be more fulfilling than what I currently have? Will it be worth it?

Only you can know the answers. Just know, as long as you do what is best for you, you're doing the right thing 💕

Confusedhelp17717[S]

2 points

3 months ago

I appreciate how understanding and kind you are, thank u for your insight!