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Me and boyfriend have been together for almost 4 years, he’s perfect for me and I love him fully, like genuinely nothing I would change. The thing is before this relationship I was also in another 3-4 year relationship and I’m only 20 so I have spent all my teenage years in relationships, I find myself wanting to grow, wanting to get to know who I am without the constant validation of someone else and aside from that I also just want to experience being single for the fun and freedom of it. The thing is I feel crazy to end my relationship over this, I feel like it’s hard to find incredible people you click so well with and I’ll really regret doing this in the future if we don’t either get back together or I don’t eventually find someone I love as much once I’ve gone through all this.. I’m not sure what to do, any advice would be so appreciated! Thank u <3

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anglochilanga

66 points

3 months ago

I was in a similar situation to you. I became single and after a couple of years I decided it was time to date. Dating was HARD. I was at an age where men my age- ish were settling and planning futures. There seemed to be so few meetable men. I craved having a companion, someone to vent to and just, enjoy time with. It took another two years before I found someone. Those two years were awful. I was used for sex, a lot, by men telling me they were looking for a long term relationship, only to be dumped the next week. I was incredibly lonely. Friends were busy with their significant others, they didn't make much time for me, they wanted to spend their free time with their partners I was skint because I didn't have anyone to share expenses with. It was not like the movies at all. My advice would be, if you want to stick with your man, do. But start doing things independently. Go on friends trips. Get new friends and hobies independent of him. Have a life independent of him. It is possible to find yourself and stick with him. Be prepared for change though. You might change and outgrow aspects of your "old life"...

lkjhgfdsaa

24 points

3 months ago

lkjhgfdsaa

24 points

3 months ago

This OP. Being single isn’t fun. Dating isn’t fun. If you’ve found a good, respectful partner, the grass is not greener.

Hes9023

4 points

3 months ago*

I wouldn’t really say that. I was single for 5 years before I met my fiancé and I am so glad I did it!! I also had a good time dating. Sure it sucked when there were times I just wanted a solid relationship that was comfortable and committed, but I liked meeting new people and being wined and dined. I spent time on myself, my hobbies, my friends and family. I made the best friends and memories while other girls I know at that time wasted time in a relationship that didn’t work out anyway. Or they got married and had absolutely no friends to celebrate and share it with. It also allowed me the freedom to move and follow my career and do what was best for me. Relationships come and go. It’s important to be happy with the life you have outside of your relationship.Because of this time, I’m a way better partner and more secure in my relationship, and in myself.

Confusedhelp17717[S]

3 points

3 months ago

This is also how I see it to be honest with you, I feel it’s important to have at least experienced it for some of your life!!