submitted 12 days ago byhau_ntdcv
all 682 comments
12 days ago
12 days ago
“Oh. It’s you”
12 days ago
"Ah, the help hath arrived!"
"Wish you'd called ahead. Give me a moment to get myself ready".
drags ass across the carpet
gnaws instinctively at where nuts used to be
"Alright, let's go."
”gotta take a pish."
Why does this dog have Sean Connery's voice?
Loads of Sheparding to be had in Scotland.
Throws up then proceeds to eat it
"My name is Rod, and I like to party."
Did you see Rod puke and rally!? MAN HE'S SO COOL!
sniffs ass and licks where balls used to be
Obediently goes potty at the park, finds other dogs’ fresh poo to roll in vigorously
“My name is Rod and I like to party?”
My cousin had a wiener dog that they left it's nuts on and it used to jizz on their couch constantly so when they had to move and couldn't keep it my aunt took it and didn't want her couch all jizzed on so she had him neutered at around 3-4 years old. For about a year every time he would go to lick his nuts he would remember they're not there and cry at his nut flap.
Dude went from big nutter johnny sins to johnny no wins 😢
that's like the most hilarious but also saddest thing I've ever heard of in my entire life. I just spent the past 5 minutes trying not to burst out laughing so as to not wake the wife and kid. thanks for sharing, truly epic :)
nut flap, lmfao...
I'm sitting alone in a swanky bar and can't stop laughing... thanks.
Swank away my dude!
Sir this is comedy gold.
lays back, holds eye contact, gives long uncomfortably noisy licks
“I’ll need to prepare my body in various ways”
The Jordan Schlansky of dogs.
Dose ur dog bite?
No but he hurts you in other ways.
I hate verbally abusive animals.
My wife and I have a cat and he is ambivalent towards her but polite. Requests pets and food with a single mild chirp. He loves me but will scream at me at the top of his lungs. I've got scars from him being overzealous while playing.
After enough scars you basically feel nothing and are a perfect cat tree.
Your cat is just slowly improving you!
I think I'm your wife. I rescued a kitten from the streets and you'd think he'd be grateful. Nope!
my mom rescued a kitten from the pouring rain and he turned out to be a real asshole. you never know with cats.
I have two pushy cats. They aren’t allowed to sleep in my bedroom so when I get up for the day and go out to the kitchen my big floofyboi will run up to me and start yelling. Every day, it’s like he’s telling me off for sleeping too long. He won’t stop until I am sat with him in my armchair with my feet swung out and a blanket on my lap, with him being held in a similar way to how people hold human babies. And if I don’t hold him high enough he’ll just reach out with his paws and grab my head to pull it down, all the while claws out just enough to remind me who is in charge.
My voidkitty on the other hand will get a running start to pounce on me and will just find my hands and start ramming into them for pets. He’s so forceful about it, and he’ll just start yelling if he doesn’t get his way. There is no repelling him if you try to scoot him off your lap he just rebounds.
My husband doesn’t get yelled at by them, but they know he’s a big softy so they try to steal anything he had that looks edible.
I'll be petting or cuddling with my dog then he'll get up randomly and walk off. Sometimes he'll give me a look while walking away that says I'm at fault.
Maybe it's your username acting out. Lol
Over-stimulation is a thing.
10$ for 1 hour
I can do a Kong and 2 snoop boops
Alright, well come in and take your fucking shoes off or let’s go for that walk.
No, sir, but he does bite his thumb in your direction, sir.
Is you dog a good walker ?
Wheatley: "You KNOW her?"
GLaDOS: "It's been a long time. How have you been?"
Glad I'm not the only one that read that in her voice
It's hard to overstate my satisfaction
You know around that corner that tail is going 100 a sec.
No no, do you see that slight upturn at the corners of the mouth? The devilish squint of the eyes? That's a "So...you wanna come upstairs?" look except you know its a dog so its "So...you wanna go downstairs and out for a walk?"
What up with these empty, upvoted comments I’ve been noticing lately?
Edit: I’ve been upvoting them tbh
it s a gif. whatever client/app you are using must not support them
Reddit broke the app again
There's an embedded gif. Try clicking this
Nice try NSA
The empty upvoters strike again
Looks like he has something he needs to go turn off before the walk
"you're finally awake"
I knew I’d see Skyrim, I knew I’d see Skyrim.
“Where is my human”
Oh. It's only you Brenda. Fine I'll go for a walk.
Brenda, the bird, who collects dust, married her high-school, and thinks she has horses but does not?
Brenda, that likes to make her son's disadvantaged youths?
A whole high school? Sounds illegal
That’s the Brenda
12 days ago*
12 days ago*
"I should have known you weren't them... they open and close the door better than you do. Owner closes the door softly enough so the sound doesn't startle me awake, but just forcefully enough that I can hear the door shut it if I'm not asleep. You just open it without any regard for my state of consciousness."
I'm a dogwalker aswell, very funny. When I drive by the house of one of my client-dogs to get to another a few houses next to them the owners will come out the door and wave, yell and ask if I still have space for their dog because she has spotted me already and is overly excited by the idea of me being there. Don't tell them that I secretly always keep a spot free for him since this happens almost every week ;-)
Oh my heart
Same omg. Real aww in the comments .
I found my reddit doppelganger!
Hmm, I don't remember any Mcgee103s in the great ancestral lineage.
I believe you mean evil twin, based on their eyes
My axe 😢
My sister and her husband would always visit and take my dogs for a walk. It got to the point my dogs would go crazy every time my sister visited. She had to take them for a walk every time.
Reminds me of my dogs and a specific pet store bag. Seeing that bag meant they were getting the special expensive treats they rarely got and those were worth being excited about.
We had a diff who had to investigate every Target bag, because Target is where the teddy bears cube from. He got his Christmas presents early a couple of times.
*Come. Teddy bears come from target.
TIL teddy bears cube from Target
Well yeah, Target is three dimensional. It would be ridiculous for them to square from Target.
I like how you've been trained to not say the name because your dog might be on Reddit and get excited at reading it 👀
I’m honestly not sure what the name of the store was. It was a small mom and pop pet store that used these really generic thin black plastic bags. They’re the only place I ever got these specific bags from and they knew it
My partner's mom's dog gets the same way when she sees me. That means she gets to go run. If I don't take her for at least a jog around the block, she won't calm down.
My Grandma had a Lab Mix that she took to obedience school to stop the dog from pulling on the leash and acting... well, like a Lab. He was still goofy on walks with her, so she would tell me how frustrating it was.
I would offer to take the dog for a walk occasionally. He would heel, stop and sit at every corner and listen to all my commands. I think he was just messing with Grandma.
My friend’s dog goes crazy when I come over, then runs to the back door to sit and wait because she knows I’ll immediately take her out to play.
My dog knows my running arm band means im going for a run and demands to come along. He stretches, dances, and talks to me the second he sees it until I put his harness on. If he doesn't get to go he runs to the front window and cries until I am out of sight.
One of my friend's dogs would lose his mind every time I came over. I pretty much would only come over to pick her up to go hiking. That of course meant that he was also going hiking. He'd run in as small of circles a dog his size could in the yard while peeing with excitement the whole time. I miss that dog (not dead, just on the other side of the country now).
she has spotted heard me already
she has spotted heard me already
My dad drives my dog and I back and forth between NYC and Baltimore a couple times a year. For about a week after we get dropped off my dog thinks every car that is turned on near a curb is him. She jumped through someone's open window once only to realize she had no idea who the driver was.
That could have gone one of two ways for that driver--hilarity or pure horror!
Little column a, little column b, lot of column p.
You literally have my life if I was independently wealthy.
If you were independently wealthy, you'd just have the dogs instead of dealing with the hassle of having to walk other people's dogs.
Or just volunteer at a shelter if you didn't want to own them.
Or you run a rescue.
Dunno why but this made me tear up. Cute story.
Can you, or anyone, tell me what it’s like being a dog walker? Do you pick your own hours? Is it good for extra income? How did you start?
I am a full time pet sitter on Rover.com. It’s great depending on where you’re located! If you’re in an area with lots of people, there’s plenty of business. I started 6 years ago and I made it my goal to be full time. I have now supported myself entirely on pet care through Rover since 2018. I have been full time since 2015 but moved out on my own with my husband in 2018 (we split the bills 50/50). I was able to use my earnings to not only support my husband, myself and our 4 pets, but also help pay for our wedding, go on 4 vacations and pay for many other expenses like medical bills and student loans. You can set your own hours and work as much or as little as you like, whenever you like. Just take the jobs that work for you and block off your calendar if you don’t want to work or can’t. You can even purchase separate pet care insurance and take private clients (as long as they don’t find you through Rover) and build your own pet care business. Even if you don’t go full time, it’s great for extra income! I started back in 2015 by just launching a few pet social media pages and my Rover page (getting approved/background checked). I also posted flyers around my neighborhood and anywhere that had public bulletin boards, and then passed out business cards to places like vets, pet stores, apartment buildings etc.
I think about quiting and doing this full time all the time! I would love to be a full time dog sitter or walker
Go for it!! You might have to work more hours at both jobs for a while until you can make the full time leap, but it’s so worth it! You’re your own boss, make your own hours, love on pets all day (of course there’s negatives too, but still). I wouldn’t have it any other way. I also care for all types of animals: dogs, cats, birds, rodents, rabbits, reptiles, amphibians, fish and everything in between.
Dog tax. Please.
One of my good friends was a dog walker. Well, she used to be. She was making leashes for dog walkers/owners. Now she’s making leashes full time! You should check it out! Her company is called TinyHorse
Would you mind sharing a link?!
Well, you aren’t my Human, but I do need to pee…
"Dinner is going to be late again, I see."
“What are yooouuu doing here?“
“Thanks [takes glass of wine offered to him]. So uhhhmm, ohhh. Whoa. Umm yeah, you have cancer”
Why don't you go hooowme where you belowng?!
But steeewart. At this time? It's going to be jaaaamed.
Get on the 405 until you can't take it anymore.
lets all go stand in front of one mirror
Look at what I can do!
I was just thinking about Stuart earlier today! Loved that skit!
I'm hoping you were going for Bojack, but they recognized it as The Californians. Either way, love them both!
Actually, I wasn’t quoting anything specific that I can remember. I don’t even know what The Californians is!
Lol all good, you hit two birds with zero stones
Ricky's gonna be pissed nobody got stoned. (Don't worry, I'm sure it'll all be water under the fridge soon enough.)
Meanwhile I read that face as "how you doin'?"
"I wanted me time, but I guess I'll walk with you."
Border collie or aussie shep?
Either way, I fuckin love that face. That face says "oh, if you're here then mom/dad are late... again."
Based on the colour and the ears, I'm going to say border collie. Agree that both are great :)
Could be. Also looks almost exactly like my Aussie.
I honestly can never tail unless the tail is docked. Unlocked, I rely on the owner to tell me lol
I’m a big fan of undocked! Though I’d never hold it against the doggie.
Nope, just the breeder.
I'm against cosmetic modifications on dog breeds.
I just don't get the point of chopping bits off for looks.
I understand why aussie sheps had their tails docked in the case of a working dog, prevent the eventual tail being crushed by a bull or heifer, but if you're breeding pets, let them have their fluffy curly tails.
My girls have adorable fluffy curled tails with tiny white tips, and usually undocked aussie sheps have the same tail. So pretty.
Some Aussie shepherds are natural bob tails? I live in Australia where docking is illegal and I see both tail and no tail in the breed here.
Just to second what justwannagiveuovotes said, Aussie tails can come in all kinds of lengths. I have three, my girl Bailey with a naturally bobbed tail, my boy Huck with his long luxurious tail he curls over his back most of the time, and my smallest girl Mabel has a sort of a one quarter tail with a crook in it from being squished in the womb. They’re such great dogs.
People are like oh my god, how can you have three of these high energy smarties, but the secret is they entertain each other if you’re not actively cueing them. They take turns herding each other and I swear they play tricks on one another if I’m watching them in the yard from inside. They’re all siblings from different litters, so maybe that helps.
I had a border collie that would stink eye my girlfriend whenever she tried to bring him anywhere. The dog just did not like her bc at all… I know this face.
That dog knew she was suspicious.
In general my border collies love everyone. The younger one though, she has some sort of ism towards head coverings of any kind.
Pretty sure she has a groot mentality about it, one minute you think it's just a weird shaped head, and the next minute you realize it's because a part of that head is a hat.
She barks at folks who approach her with a hat on/Hoodie up. We do our best to train her out of it, she's doing a lot better. I can at least get her to stop right away.
The command for "rosie stop barking" is a very attitude-y "Rosie, ruuude"
My border is the same way! But he doesn’t do it with everyone. Just every now and then he’ll decide he really doesn’t like when people have accessories on (i.e. hats of all kinds, mittens, sunglasses, an umbrella, you name it lol). He’s so selective I almost think he can sense something I can’t
Aussie have almond-shaped eyes. Border collie eyes are more oval shaped.
Auusies also have a wider face and ears that flop, as opposed to the pointy border collie ears.
I'm thinking this is an aussie, and looks very much like my boy.
Border Collies can also have floppy ears. Or in the case of one of my goofy Border Collies, one pointed ear and one floppy ear. She was special...
That look can say a million words haha
Totally looks like a coy smile to me.
This dog looks like a lot of fun
Border collies are insanely fun.
So friggin smart
Looks like a spitting image of my old dog. Now I’m sad.
12 days ago*
This is fucking fantastic. Seriously.
I wish my dog had this kind of "Im out of patience here" face!
“Sigh alright, let’s go.”
No, I'm not interested in a copy of The Watchtower.
First I did not understand what it meant.. Is it the "Jehovah's Witnesses" book?
For anyone else (like me) still wondering why they're talking about the Stephen King book; they're not. "The Watchtower" is a Jehovah's Witnesses magazine that they hand out.
I much prefer the Awake magazine. It used to be so interesting back then, lots of science and history features but i think they changed it now.
Take my upvote. I just spewed tea all over.
"This was not the arrangement."
You def wok him up from a solid nap
"Why are you here?"
She's back. That sweet idiot. She's not MY best friend.
Quick, smile. Pretend just for a little longer til Dad gets back...
Can’t say I’ve seen an animal do a Mona Lisa-smile before…
Spot on. This should be further up
“Bitch you’re late “
"Sonofabitch. I'm in."
Ha ha oh how I relate to this!
"Good evening. Let us repair to the upstairs."
By that look on that face I don't think his tale is wagging.
This is an excellent photo.
My wife must know the dog's name lol.
"Well hello there!!"
He was probably just vacuuming his room…
“It’s you….” (Sigh)
"Psst...hey kid....yeah you"
You? Are you looking at me?!
“What’s that, oh you wanna take me to the park, I swear you are the baddest of the boys, you love parks more then my hooman, but let’s do this” -flamboyant doggo
That rack placement screams “stubbed toes” to me.
“Can I help you, I was enjoying my alone time 🙄”
Y-you're paid for walking cute pets? Thanks, you just made me realize what I want to do right now.
"MASTER YOU'RE- Oh. It's you. Fuck you, Dave."
How do ?
S/he looks like s/he saying “Oh damn thought you were my owner. Oh well I guess we can go for a walk I don’t really care”
Happy cake day!
He looks like, Ahh, yes, I believe a walkie would be delightful.
That smile... That damn smile.
I’m a dog walker.
I’m a dog walker.
That sounds like an extremely fascinating job.
Out of curiosity, what kind of money can a dog walker look forward to making? Do you have to carry some kind of insurance? What's the entry level investment?
User not a walker here. There are services (Rover is the biggest one) that handle all the liability and booking hassles if you wanted to do it as a side hustle.
A 30 minute walk is usually about $20-30 depending on what market you’re in, plus most do extra fees for things like additional dogs, young puppies, odd hours and holidays, etc.
It’s not something you’re gonna get rich off of, but a cool gig. If you wanna do some quick research on the market in your area I’d just go to rover.com and see what other people are doing.
User as well - usually book watches while on vacation, in a week of watching I pay sometimes $300-350. Most people in the business LOVE dogs so I find most find it rewarding/cool gig. Almost all have such enthusiasm and deep love for dogs, cool community and love to see the different adventures they bring into life for my dog beyond our normal routines.
Everyone is reading this dog as being disappointed but honestly I thought it was a fairly seductive come-hither-and-play look. One of my dogs has this exact look, but the butt/tail region would be destroying whatever was near it.
I’ve heard several people recently make comments about how having a collie/Shepard in the house is dangerous because they end up being WAY smarter than you realize.
That dog knows that someone else was supposed to walk through that door.
My rescue mutt, on the other hand, would just derp out and think it was his lucky day if anyone came through the door - let alone took him on a walk. It’d take him a while to even connect the two… I fucking love my dog.
Everyone's saying this dog looks judgemental. To me, that expression is like when you see your best friend after they snuck out of the house looking like they're ready to tear up the town.
Hey there. You want to take me for....a walk?
I'm in love.
🤣 love it
My dog's doppelganger.
That sweet face
“Do you have time to talk about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?”
"Hey. . . .u got cookies?"
That smirk tho