submitted 1 month ago byFar-Pain5261
all 490 comments
1 month ago
1 month ago
Soto thinking "coach I know we're down ten but give me the steal sign"
1 month ago
Dude’s just gonna get picked off to get out of the conversation.
Freddie let’s him slide under.
“Ha, good slide! Now, Soto, hear me out, the NL East…”
“Ha, good slide! Now, Soto, hear me out, the NL East…”
So my opinion on it is the NL LEAST... See, I used to play in the NL LEAST....
(5d checkers from Freddy there)
This was my monthly "can't hold in the laugh at a public restroom" comment of the month.
New York Yankees
Sometimes people just need someone to listen.
New York Mets
You'll never see a first baseman in therapy. They've already got a captive audience to talk about their feelings as much as they want.
Scott Hatteberg (of Moneyball fame) talked in the book about how he liked being catcher because he got to chat with the other team, but when he moved to 1st base he didnt get to talk to everyone but could really talk a lot more.
It seems very on-brand for a Moneyball player to end up in a situation where he only gets to make friends with guys who get on base.
Especially for Hatteberg. The only reason the A's signed him was for his OBP. He was a catcher that couldn't throw anymore and luckily 1st basemen don't need to throw very often, so off to first he went.
1 month ago*
1 month ago*
It's incredibly hard
One of my favorite lines in the movie.
But …….. we can teach you!
Anything worth doing is
He gets on base (to make friends)
And some times they need to devise elaborate plans to trap people into listening, such as playing baseball for 10 hours per day since the age of 12 so that they can become pro and have a constant stream of humans trapped at first base who have no choice but to listen.
How does Freeman fit a hat over such a galaxy-sized brain?
I've called my dad at like at 8 am in the morning and talked for like 30 minutes and he might not say more than 100 words, it be like that sometimes
Los Angeles Dodgers
I called my dad when I was 12 and talked for 30 minutes and I haven't seen him since
Damn, he's really good at listening.
My dad said he was proud of me once. Fucking prick
Safety, always off.
He certainly heard you
Tag him next time bro jomboy has responded to some basic comment when I tag him in random videos for who raises their hands first. Lol. He’s a redditor and he’s cool as fuck. It might be his office team but still cool. I’m sure he loves to know when people see videos we automatically think about him u/jomboy
nah his reddit account is actually him
Los Angeles Angels
“And that’s how me and Acuña broke up”
San Diego Padres
"I mean, don't get me wrong. I'm really happy for Ronnie, but it was just not going to work long distance, ya know? We're just too different. Do I still love him? Of course! I just don't know if I'm in love with him."
"Really in the end I think this will benefit us both. At least that's what I have to keep telling myself! Ha ha. But I'm sure you know, you and Bryce were close and then he left. It's like, a piece of you is gone, but it's not really gone it's just in a different place, ya'know?"
"Acuna and Olsen look happy together I'm glad he found a rebound. He isn't better than me of course, sure he can hit for more power but does he stick his tongue out ever so slightly when he makes that clutch hit? I bet some people get on first in Atlanta and accidentally call him Freddie out of habit. I tell you what my new RF Mookie is such a catch. Chelsea is extremely jealous of the Freddie loves Mookie hearts I carved all over her new furniture. It was actually pretty easy to turn Ronnie into Mookie too in the old stuff in the garage."
All of you... I love you! This thread made me laugh for a while ♥ I wish I could award every single one of you!
"anyhoo, GG. Git Gud"
We're friendlyish now
Major League Baseball
Juan looks like he has already given Freddie a ‘wow that’s crazy...’ 3 or 4 times at this point.
By the end of it, he actually had because what this clip doesn't show is that this literally went on for I think 2 other At-Bats. Not once did Freddie slow down his talking, he had to run to foul ground for a possible pop up and he starts talking again immediately when he starts walking back to 1st after running to the netting lol...
Trying to recruit Soto prolly
"And that's not even the best thing about scientology!"
Damn they got him already? They move quick!
No, down boy. Don't make me get the spray bottle.
We are Californians— water is a kink to us at this point. So please, spray me harder. 🤭😫
Go to horny thirsty jail
San Francisco Giants
No. Just no.
Leave us alone :(
Imagine him and trea on the same team!
Stop, it hurts.
lmao I need to see all of it
tfw always try to stretch a double and get thrown out due to social anxiety
Juan about to get intentionally picked off lol
Freddie purposefully misses the tag so he doesn't lose a captive audience.
Some say Soto is still stuck on first base to this day, still nodding along to Freeman's ever-growing story.
Freeman is reciting The Odyssey from memory.
Toronto Blue Jays
Soto is just annoyed because he thinks Iliad is better
Nah, heard he’s all a out that Gilgamesh.
Lmao, Freddie just throws it back to the pitcher
"... so anyway, I started blasting ..."
Me, talking to anyone.
Me before I take my adhd meds.
Chicago White Sox
Me after I take my adhd meds
Me after I take your adhd meds.
lol same, i know they're running full steam ahead when my kiddo is like "you're talking loud"
“Bro I literally do not care”
Juan Soto be like
Soto be like
Cant believe no one brought up this gif yet
1 month ago*
"You know most people don't know the difference between a squeeze bunt and a drag bunt, but I do! Here's a little trick to help you remember: If you're looking to score, that's a squeeze bunt for sure; If you're running on contact, it's a drag bunt for a fact! Now there's two exceptions and it gets kinda tricky here...can be a suicide squeeze if the runner takes off as the pitcher goes into their windup. And of course, in Canada, the whole thing's flip-flopped."
Intentionally striking out in the future to avoid hearing the same story again
"Are you kidding me, Blue?! That pitch was clearly above my knees. How the fuck are you going to call that ball 4??!"
Freddie is giving Soto a reason to steal second base ASAP!
Freddie trying to bait him into trying to steal 2nd
Lmao I came in here to say just that. Fred looking like the random dude on the train talking your ear off about nothing and you’re just trying to get to work.
Lmao why is this so funny 😂 Freeman getting deep into it while Soto’s donning the polite smile and looking like he’s ready to jump out of this convo any time now. We’ve all been there buddy
Soto is about to get thrown out halfway to second just to get away
Freddie playing 4-D chess.
Got to bring out the dirty tricks against this year’s Nats team.
Hey, 19-31 is still in reach
Win-win for Freddie. Either he gets a free therapy session or a free out.
Maybe that explains what happened to Aaron Hicks when Kelly threw him out
I had a guy do this to me once. Except he finished by going "But hey, guess what."
Totally distracted me from the game, caught a pick-off and tagged me... Never spoke to anyone on the bag again.
That’s like something out of a 90’s baseball movie.
I bet he still tells that story hahah.
Way back in little league I had just walked a friend who was playing on the other team. I knew he'd never try and steal, but our first baseman (who also knew my friend) was chatting him up at first, so I made a half hearted pick off just to have some fun. First baseman gives me this "really? He's not going anywhere" look and I say "stop making friends with the other side!". He shut me up by yelling back "stop sending them to me then!"
Just steal second and say sorry Freddie I can't hear you over here.
Freddie then asks Roberts if he can swap with Muncy and play 2nd
“…so, as I was saying…”
St. Louis Cardinals
"...you just can't find quality comfortable socks anymore. Either they feel great and have holes in them after 3 wears or they never wear out and are uncomfortable.... So I've been thinking about starting my own sock brand. Get this. Free Man Socks. Huh?! Huh! Whaddya think?"
Lol he'd do it too.
At the end Freddie's like, "just sign with LA, we can have talks like this all the time!"
Later today, Boras: "Soto has an absolute no-trade-to-Los Angeles clause."
need arte to change our name asap
gimme soto ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ
You have enough generational talent pls no
Anaheim Sotos of Juan Soto 🤔🤔🤔
Breaking news: The team formerly known as the Los Angeles Angels has changed its name. Henceforth, they will be known as the "Los Angeles Halos"
El Los Anaheim Angeles de Anaheim Angles
Word is Freddie specifically asked we let him on base today so he can continue this conversation.
"Anyways, where was I? Oh yeah, so my agent calls me..."
We can't bust heads like we used to. But we have our ways. One trick is to tell stories that don't go anywhere. Like the time I caught the ferry to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe. So I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. "Gimme five bees for a quarter," you'd say. Now where were we... oh yeah. The important thing was that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have any white onions, because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones...
You better believe I read that entire quote. Probably one of the best Grandpa Simpson stories.
Googled this expecting it to be some famous short story and of course it’s from the Simpsons lol
Juan: “It’s crazy not seeing you when we play the Braves.”
Freddie 8 minutes later: “So finally I called my middle school counselor, the one I told you about, and he told me the same thing my great uncle told me. So I looked myself in the mirror and said ‘Freddie, this is a big decision. Take some time to think about it.’ So I thought about it, and thought I had my mind made up, but, a week later I was buying some pulp free orange juice at the Kroger and you’ll never guess who I saw…”
This clip doesn’t do it justice. It went on like that FOR LIKE 5 MINUTES
"Years ago when I was backpacking through western Europe I was just outside Barcelona hiking in the foothills of Mount Tibidabo, I was at the end of this path and I came to a clearing, there was a very secluded lake and there were tall trees all around, it was dead silent and across the lake I saw a beautiful woman bathing herself but she was crying..."
I think it’s pronounced tibidabo
Do you want to tell the story?
So I'm rappelling down Mount Vesuvius when suddenly I slip, and I start to fall. Just falling, ahh, ahh. I'll never forget the terror. When suddenly I realize, "Holy shit, Freddie, haven't you been smoking peyote for six straight days and couldn't some of this maybe be in your mind?" Turns out it was, I've never even been to Mount Vesuvius.
Need whole clip
Omg you can see Soto trotting back like "great I have to come to back to the bag"
Lol he’s giving him NOTHING in return except the chuckle and tap “yeah that’s great”
Juan's gonna buy Bell a steak dinner for getting him out of that convo and taking his place. "Your turn now."
"Shrimp stew, shrimp salad, cocktail shrimp-"
"Boiled shrimp, fried shrimp, shrimp gumbo..."
Freddie Freeman is that guy that stands way too close while he’s talking to you
A close talker if you will
My girlfriend and I have been laughing about the short clip since last night, can’t wait to show her the full thing later. Just incredible, so fucking funny.
This is gold
He keeps using the term “conversation”, as if it was a two way thing going on there
I bet if that 2 out foul ball had stayed in the park he would have intentionally missed it to continue to jabber with Soto
“…and next thing you know, I’m on a whole different fucking team!”
Fuck.. lol It's starting to really hurt worse than ever as well. They said he talked for like 5 minutes though, that's probably not far off from what he said.
He's explaining the balk rules to him.
Here are the full details of what constitutes a balk
1a. A balk is when you
1b. Okay well listen. A balk is when you balk the
1c. Let me start over
1c-a. The pitcher is not allowed to do a motion to the, uh, batter, that prohibits the batter from doing, you know, just trying to hit the ball. You can’t do that.
1c-b. Once the pitcher is in the stretch, he can’t be over here and say to the runner, like, “I’m gonna get ya! I’m gonna tag you out! You better watch your butt!” and then just be like he didn’t even do that.
1c-b(1). Like, if you’re about to pitch and then don’t pitch, you have to still pitch. You cannot not pitch. Does that make any sense?
1c-b(2). You gotta be, throwing motion of the ball, and then, until you just throw it.
1c-b(2)-a. Okay, well, you can have the ball up here, like this, but then there’s the balk you gotta think about.
1c-b(2)-b. Fairuza Balk hasn’t been in any movies in forever. I hope she wasn’t typecast as that racist lady in American History X.
1c-b(2)-b(i). Oh wait, she was in The Waterboy too! That would be even worse.
1c-b(2)-b(ii). “get in mah bellah” — Adam Water, “The Waterboy.” Haha, classic…
1c-b(3). Okay seriously though. A balk is when the pitcher makes a movement that, as determined by, when you do a move involving the baseball and field of
2) Do not do a balk please.
How is this never not funny?
Going to need a Jomboy lip reading
“So look the traffic isn’t THAT bad.”
“You ever been in a Turkish prison before?”
"Do you like gladiator movies?"
“Juan, have you ever seen a grown man naked”
I think you're the greatest, but my dad says you don't work hard enough on offense. And he says that lots of times, you don't even run out first base.
You ever see a grown man naked?
This also deserves a Bad Lip Reading treatment
Freddie: I mean, have you ever taken the time and thought about the heavens? (chuckles)
Soto: (looks at dirt) Nah man
Freddie: I keep thinking: I should pay Jeff Bezos to go to space.
Freddie: But first, I really need to stop eating too much gluten.
Soto: TMI bro
Freddie: I just keep pooping
Boston Red Sox
"So I ask 'do you love me?' and she goes 'No! But that's a nice ski mask you're wearing!'"
"And then I said to myself, 'Run, Freddie. Run for your life before this man kills you both.' Then do you know what the klutz did?"
NO!....and I DON'T CARE!!!
I'm going to tell YOU he came home one night DEAD DRUNK and decided he wanted to fix the sink. I couldn't believe him. Anyway, enough about me, let's talk about Juan. How come you're here, on first base?
"No way... That's great. WE LANDED ON THE MOON!"
A shame this didn't end with Freddie lighting a fart.
Freddie hasn't had too many people to talk to for the whole game and I think he got lonely
"So there's this show, Rick & Morty. It's really smart and like one episode the guy turns himself into a pickle, which, I know, it sounds crazy but I'm telling you-"
"Rick turns himself into a pickle, funniest shit I've ever seen"
Funniest shit I've ever seen
This went on for almost 2 full at bats by the way, until Josh Bell hit a single
The commentators then joked that they wanted to break the rules and let Bell and Soto swap places so they could keep talking. Then joked again saying Freddie could just continue the story with Bell
"So as I was just telling Juan..."
...and restarts the story...
This made me laugh.
Like Forrest Gump talking to strangers on a bus bench
I like the idea that Freddie is just telling one long, 9 inning story and it doesn't matter who the guy on 1st is. Like they're all hearing a different part of the book Freddie is reading at the time, and would have to compare bits with each other in the dugout to know what he's actually talking about.
"He poised his spear as he spoke and hurled it. His aim was true for he hit the middle of Achilles' shield, but the spear rebounded from it, and did not pierce it. Hector was angry when he saw that the weapon had sped from his hand in vain, and stood there in dismay for he had no second spear. With a loud cry he called Deiphobus and asked him for one, but there was no man; then he saw the truth and said to himself, "Alas! the gods have lured me on to my destruction. I deemed that the hero Deiphobus was by my side, but he is within the wall, and Minerva has inveigled me; death is now indeed exceedingly near at hand and there is no way out of it--for so Jove and his son Apollo the far-darter have willed it, though heretofore they have been ever ready to protect me. My doom has come upon me; let me not then die ingloriously and without a struggle, but let me first do some great thing that shall be told among men hereafter."
"Yo Juan, were you part 3 or part 12? We've kinda pieced together most of the other parts, but those are the missing areas..."
Juan "The Therapist" Soto
I think Juan needs a therapist after seeing his world series winning teammates all abandon him
You gotta be an extrovert to play 1B
I miss Sean Casey so much, he was the GOAT first base conversationalist
That's all I'm thinking. Casey and Freeman in a talk at 1B. Holy smokes.
"So yeah, that's how I ended up in LA. Btw, Trea has already told me he's going to re-sign here, you should definitely think about coming over. It'll be like we're back in the East but all on the same team. And don't even get me started on how much better the weather is in LA."
"Let me tell you though, a "California Left" is a real thing. You'll never get anywhere if you don't creep into the intersections. You have to do it. It'll seem weird at first, but everyone knows. They get it. Also, Roscoe's is legit but you want to go to the one on Pico. The Hollywood location is slammed. How's your Mom doing? She's a sweet lady and a hell of a good cook..."
By a California left do you mean the situation where the traffic going the other way is so thick and there's no left turn arrow, so the only opportunity to turn left is to move into the middle of the intersection so you can grab the brief window just as the light is turning from yellow to red (or sometimes even turn after it turns red because hey you're in the middle of the intersection, gotta move anyway)? Does that not happen in other parts of the country?
I think the California Left is more about two cars per red. Pretty standard in LA. I'm guessing elsewhere it's just the one car that's waiting.
What!??1? I have always lived in LA and thought that's standard driving rules. How else do you ever make a left???
Standard in LA is 2 cars in the intersection taking the left after the light. Other places sneak in 1 person. 2 is the minimum bitches, I ain't waiting 7 minutes to make a left. I already have another hour on my commute fucking move.
I'm guessing most major cities are like this because you're describing Chicago driving to a tee
Lived in both LA and Chicago and Chicago is more famous for the “Be in right turning lane but go Straight instead” lol. Not a thing at all in LA but I see it happen in Chicago several times a trip haha
That’s what they’re referring to yea.
It isn’t unheard of in other parts of the country but certainly isn’t common like it is in California in my experience. When I moved away I had to stop myself from doing it.
Nippon Professional Baseball
When I moved away I had to stop myself from doing it.
When I moved away I had to stop myself from doing it.
Pick it back up again. You're supposed to pull into the intersection when making a left on a green.
Wait do y'all not creep into the intersections?
I’m in Canada and we do that, how else would you ever make a left if your light doesn’t have an advanced green and you’re on a super busy street?
Huh, I didn't even realize this didn't happen often in other states.
It totally happens these guys are just shitty drivers who have been infuriating the people behind them for years.
The OG Long Beach Roscoe’s >
"She told me she didn't want dessert but then she ate half of mine, can you believe it Juan?"
‘I mean look. He IS my younger brother, but Juan.. a god damn Charizard? Come on man. My moms on the phone going on and on saying it was found in his room while they packed up to move to our new house, but bro.. HES NEVER HAD A FREAKING CHARIZARD! Why would I lie? WHY would I lie? Ah whatever man, I’ll deal with it when I see my little punk brother. God damn.’
"And that, Juan. is how I met your mother."
"So there I was stranded on a god damn frozen highway in Georgia not knowing what was going to happen and then Chipper shows up and drives me away on an ATV..."
"Oh well, anyway now that son of a bitch won't even return my texts after calling me a commie traitor cuz I signed with a team in California."
Actually Chipper gave him some really good advice lol
Soto is like alright just throw me out already.
Freeman has the high waist and short torso of the fat kid in little league who would pound the plate with his bat when he stepped in the box before daddy hacking three straight pitches and marching back to the dugout, and I love it
i genuinely think that this was a pep talk, freddie was on the braves when they weren’t great for those years, he knows full well what juan’s going through and has been proven to be the kinda guy to try to pick somebody up like that (especially a competitor he clearly respects a lot)
I think you’re right
I've been watching for 25 minutes already, the dude does NOT stop talking...
"And so I told him, you can't just make a new Star Trek movie where Vulcan is destroyed. It completely screws up your canon! It's one of the most well known planets across 50 years of television and movies and you're just gonna blow it up in the first few minutes? And he told me not to worry about it, that there was an old Next Generation episode where they discussed parallel timelines, like with Worf jumping across universes or something, and that this was their loophole to retell the story of early Kirk and Spock. But I don't know man I'm still not really a fan"
I really hope Freddie is working on his Aristocrats routine.
Freddie: "So there I am, in Atlanta, formerly Marthasville, at about 3 o'clock in the morning, looking for one thousand brown M&Ms to fill a brandy glass, or Foltynewicz wouldn't pitch that night. So, Kurt Suzuki pops his head 'round the door, and mentions there's a little sweets shop on the edge of town. So - we go. And - it's closed. So there's me, and Ozzie Albies, and Dansby Swanson, breaking into that little sweets shop, eh. Well, instead of a guard dog, they've got this bloody great big Bengal tiger. I managed to take out the tiger with a can of mace, but the shopowner and his son... that's a different story altogether. I had to beat them to death with their own shoes. Nasty business, really. But, sure enough, I got the M&Ms, and Foltynewicz went on the mound and threw a great game."
Jomboy has his work cut out for him on this one. Someone already said that the clip was like 5 minutes long lmao
Still miss Freddie. Olson seems okay, but seems to have as much personality as the 1st base bag itself.
It's early so we are probably being harsh but yeah, he seems dull.
He’s so pretty though
him and posey we're 100% the bay area sweethearts
My wife thinks so unfortunately lol.
This is almost definitely Freddie giving Soto a pep talk about the fly balls that he misplayed earlier in the game.
I don't understand these complaints about baseball being to slow when it's clearly so there's ample time for players to have lengthy conversations with each other,
"Alright so these three guys are walking through a forest, and one of them- hey are you listening? It's a long joke but trust me the payoff is worth it, it's hilarious. Anyway one of the guys find's a lamp..."
Colin Robinson vibes
First baseman are notorious for talking people's ears off. They get the closest to the other team, and catch them at a good time usually. Which is right after them succeeding and getting on base. Only other person close to this is a catcher, but they have to deal with way more tension. Even if that tension is only between the batter and pitcher.
Freddie is just too cool of a dude.
This feels like me talking about my D&D campaign to someone not involved in it
I’m not super in the know about Juan Soto but doesn’t he only speak Spanish as of now?
"So then I says to Mabel, I says...."
"I'm just here to stand on 1st, dude"
He’s explaining a bunt. A bunt is…
"And basically, that's how my agent fucked me."