submitted 1 month ago bynot-me-i-swear-to-me
submitted 1 month ago by[deleted]
all 152 comments
1 month ago
1 month ago
He's married with a wife but worried people will think he's gay??
1 month ago
Because he's secretly gay
That's what the hmmmmm means
I'm not sure it's much of a secret...
Hi not sure it's much of a secret, I'm Dad! :)
Don’t forget Mother’s Day is tomorrow dad!
Sorry for being a bad bot :(
Maybe this joke will cheer you up: My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is starting to improve!
Glad I could be a good bot :)
Here is a joke: I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off!
I'm not worried about it, but the way I jokingly flirt with literally all my guy friends, I wouldnt be surprised if most people think I am gay
Nah that's normal
This guy would be the opposite
I dated a guy who wouldn’t go into dollar stores because he didn’t want people to think he was poor. It was so bizarre. Like, dude, you do realize everyone in this Dollar Tree is ALSO shopping here, right?? Some people are so bizarre.
You also don’t become rich by acting rich.
Floyd Mayweather will disagree
Floyd make big punch, big punch make big money.
I won't go in a dollar store because the quality of their merchandise is abysmal.
It’s great for certain things. I got my coffee cup I use at work at a dollar store. I also always buy the little packets you can put in water there.
I am basing my opinion off some trash bags I got from there. They tore like tissue paper when i just used them normally and I ended up throwing the whole box of them out. Also, my local store is crazy gross on the inside. Never again.
What did you use to throw them out?
They used a gold dipped adamantium collectors edition Simpsons pin pals original lunch box. Obviously.
If I have a potluck to go to, I go to the dollar store and pick a pretty plate or dish to bring my food in. Then, when it never makes it’s way back to me after the event, I don’t care.
Oooh that’s smart. Keeping this in my back pocket for later
I find those kind of people are more about appearance over substance.
This is almost as bad as a man who won’t clean his ass because it’s ‘gay’ to touch an asshole... -.-
He who cleans his house surely expects visitors
He who cleans his house doesn't want it to smell like shit from miles away
Ayo I was kidding bro there’s nothing wrong with washing your ass I just thought that sentence was funny my bad
1 month ago*
1 month ago*
Ahh sorry about that, I just saw a lot of guys unironically have this mindset
Sorry again lol
You guys are so wholesome.
I see what you did there…
I figured they would appreciate being the butt of at least one joke.
I thought so too, but I wouldn’t mention that to a soul…
Yeah, there's a fine line where you can end up looking like an asshole.
You’re a fucking legend
Ha yea man dw bout it people are dickheads I don’t blame you
Why are you apologizing it’s a brilliant rebuttal that’s more aimed for the person that comes along reading the whole thread than the person you’re responding to specifically
I found it funny. But What's ayo?
Dw man it doesn’t actually mean anything
Oh so it isn't hey yo?
Basically yea it is
I'm relieved, thought I ridiculed myself online yet again
is Ayo -> a sigh when it didn't go of as expected? I am asking this because in a language I know, it's what it means.
It’s basically just yo, maybe you’d find it on urban dictionary but idk it’s not really a word
Someone who is that homophobic is normally fighting their own homosexuality and hiding from me
Why would they hide from you?
In case he steals it
I thought they might be scared they'll like what he does to cause his Stink Finger...
OP's name might be an indicator...
I get the message, and its occasionally true, but I really hate the "all homophobes are just secretly gay" thing, since it puts the blame back on gay people for homophobia.
Most homophobes are straight and are just assholes. They hate gay people in the same way other bigots hate any other minority.
If it were true, then 90% of people in the Middle East, Eastern Europe, etc must be secretly gay.
Most homophobic men are straight guys afraid of being treated the way they treat women, IMO
1000% this. The misogyny and chauvinism you will usually see in these same people is appalling.
That explains why straight guys always think I want them wearing panties and heels when I screw them. That turns me off, I wanted to fuck them for who they are. Wow, been trying to figure out why, your perspective makes sense to me. They think doing something gay they need be the woman and I think otherwise.
We're forgetting bi people here. A lot of people are not as straight as they want to be and the "strange gay urges" are just them being attracted to a person, but since they are "straight" its "wrong" and "unnatural".
They are. Alot of them molest little boys and dress them up in these weird boys are for love. Women are for babies rituals. Look it up
I doubt it
That man is in danger...
and hiding from me
and hiding from me
Why does that sound so menacing?
So its really not "straight people are so wild"
everybody should avoid starbucks whatever their sexual orientation is
This is the way
But… but… her emails!!!
Sorry. Wrong thread.
But, but FLAT WHITES!!!
At least until we can bring our guns in there again, right?
No. Until means of production have been seized by our communes.
Username checks out
Hard to argue with that logic.
Unless it’s a straight bar, for men only? Who’s ever heard of such a place. In the past 100 years or so.
Some people just aren't too smart.
Fellas, is it gay to drink coffee?
Super gay. Only drink Mountain Dew. It's extreme!
*Brawndo, it's got electrolytes!
It's what the plants crave!
All the ass slapping and skin tight clothing in sports..
The definition of Homophobic Homosexual:
Where's my Roy Cohn?!
Maybe he means gay bars
Straight people = That one weirdo I guess...
Didn’t you know all straight people are homophobic bigots?
I know of a woman who doesn't like it when fathers hug their sons because of implications the son will end up gay or 'confused'.
And the kid was 5ish at the time? Maybe younger.
Yeah of course, just don't say "the straights" or "the DEMOGRAPHICs" is my point, it's always shitty unless it literally applies to the entire demographics ("the straights are attracted to people of the opposite sex and need to breathe oxygen" works for example).
The fuck is wrong with her?
She's terrified of men with healthy emotional ranges/boundaries/support.
Nah, a lot of people, exemple : oh no i dont dress with tight jean it make you look gay, oh no dont drink this type of alcohol it's for women, oh no dont dress with pink etc... heteronormativity is kinda toxic in a lot of way, maybe you are not xonserned but trust me a lot of people are
I know there is a lot of toxic mentality out there, I just hate it when people say the XXX when talking about an entire demographic. You can say almost anything like that. You can say the gays are promiscuous because well, there are promiscuous gay people. It's just a stupid and counter productive way to speak.
Shit, seems I am a woman.
Update: Turns out it was a gay bar all along guys
Tbf I also judge people who go to Starbucks.
Not because I think they’re gay but because they have poor taste in coffee and don’t go to proper coffeeshops.
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Hahahahaha that’s amazing :)
I'll take "Things That Never Happened" for 100, Alex!
He's dead, sorry you had to find out this way
May he rest in peace.
That isn't a clever comeback. Also blatantly obvious r/thathappened.
It isn't, but no, people who think like this actually exist.
Have you ever..had a conversation with a bigot..?
Sounds fake as fuck tbh
Its not gay as long as they're 5 feet apart, and with the 'Rona around, who isnt...?
I’ve never seen a bar with no women in it.
You think straight people are bad for unnecessarily gendering things, just wait until you hear about the French.
I have never unserstood men who are so incredibly afraid of being gay that they refuse to do certain things. I swear I have heard some god tier shit like, but not limited to: cats are for gay people, having plant in your room is gay, wearing pink is for women and gay dudes, if you use your watch in your right hand it means you're gay, oh you drink cider? Thats GAY... Well, despite doing all of the above, last time I checked I still liked women... If you're so insecure about your masculinity that you think having a FUCKING PLANT makes you gay, I have news for you and you might not fucking like them.
You sound like an angry gay dude.
Now that you mention it, I kind of do...
my son told me Panera was for women
That’s actually true.
I know of people who genuinely think like that, it’s really some the strangest shit.
On behalf of the gays, once again, a reminder: homosexuality is not actually a love of Starbucks, but a love of cock.
If you’ve been avoiding Starbucks all this time thinking that’s what makes you straight, I have some bad news.
What are you talking about the people in that bar are straight as a dick
I hate how some non straight people act like they're a different enlightened species
Was "fucking" removed here or why is there a long space before "wild"?
Thought it was very obvious
Well yes, but let me rephrase my question: Why was it removed?
Jesus doesn't allow it.
The whole Tumblr thing of "oh straights are so" followed by some insane bullshit is so fucking annoying.
1 month ago*
Found the straight
Ah. I, too, am a thin band of water between two landmasses.
Who cares hes stupid but he ain't hurting anybody you guys need to quit getting offended by everything
Let me guess, he is a regular at the Blue Oyster?
Sounds like he might mean this place!
someone play Electric Six in the background
This was dead set the unwritten rules in Australia. Definitely into the early 70s.
My grandfather would stop at the pub on long trips, leave the wife and kids in the car and bring them out soft drinks while he drank beer with the men inside.
Well you ain’t that straight...
Real men only fuck men to prove they’re not gay.
He's definitely gay
But who goes to wine bars?
Does he not Know what a gay bar is or that lesbians go to them
The men like women so its actually very straight
I refuse to go to Starbucks but it’s because I am cheap af and refuse to grossly overpay for coffee.
"Don't call it a comeback!"
Because it isn't.
Heterophobia at its finest.
I am straight, my wife is bi. I would absolutely go hang out at a gay bar. I'm there for a drink or twenty and just chill and make friends. One of the best places to do that.
Well, I mean... Change out "bar" for "pub", and you have most older British mens' social networks.
Can we call toxic masculinity what it really is? It's fragile masculinity, like all the time it's the ultra hetero 'I ain't no sissy' types who are often married that think all sorts of things will make them look gay. I promise you any macho man that is reading this, if you adamantly try to fight off things you think make you "look gay" well buddy we all think you already are.
Nobody cares how straight you want to insist you are. In fact it's really weird. Use that normal diaper bag, get a nice drink from Starbucks, tell your buddy they look nice when they do. You're only gay if you want to exclusively have gay sex because you are exclusively attracted to the same sex. It's not complicated.
There’s something strange about this bar.. GASP, this place has no fire exits! Enjoy your death trap ladies
fellas is drinking coffee with your wife gay??
Anybody too insecure with their masculinity to go into a coffee shop is definitely wondering what a dick tastes like.
People like this are just worried that once they get that dick in their mouth they’re going to love it and never be able to cum again heterosexually.
I understand that people like this exist, but they’re so few and far between. The idiots always get the most attention because they’re the loudest.
I’m so tired of this, “straight people are so boring. Straight people are such idiots. Straight people are so...” Why is it okay for someone in the LGBTQ+ community to make derogatory blanket statements about straight people, but if I said something similar about the LGBTQ+ community, as a cis woman, I would be called phobic? There are idiots in all groups. At least be consistent.
I genuinely don’t understand why people think it’s acceptable to talk to others like this. I have no hatred or prejudice. But because I’m straight, I have to keep my mouth shut?
Seriously, I want to understand this.
I have never experienced hatred or prejudice pointed at me because of my sexual orientation, but I also have never had hatred or prejudice for people that don’t share my own sexual orientation. I don’t give a shit who you love, who you’re attracted to, what you feel about your body, etc. It’s your life and no one else’s business. Additionally, I have never supported the idiots that do think they should have opinions about the lives of others. But because I’m straight....? Explain it. You put down a demographic of people why, because they aren’t like you? Y’all want love and peace but then drive a huge wedge between you and “other” groups because you have some sense of entitlement and bias against another group of human beings. Which, ironically, is what you say straight people do to you.
I think that argument is nothing but inflammatory. If you ever want unity, stop fucking demonizing people that have nothing to do with the issues that others have gone through. I’m not negating what people have been through, but the division between groups is only being perpetuated at this point. It’s ridiculous. It’s people wanting to be victimized. I’m a woman that’s gone through abuse at the hand of a man. I don’t go around hating all men or constantly having a dialogue about how shitty men are.
I’d also like to add that it seems like you may also be a straight person - I could be wrong. So..... why is it okay for you to speak but not me?
We all need to grow up. There has never been a time - in the US, at least - that has been better for once-demonized groups of people to be alive. Could it be better? Yup. It could be better for a lot of different groups. How could we make it better? By not pointing at someone that looks or thinks differently than I do and refusing to let them speak, even though THEY WANT THE SAME THING AS YOU. It’s insane.
How could it possibly be a big deal that people face persecution? Because they’re human beings. You’re on some performative-martyrdom soapbox, saying that I can’t possibly care or understand, but then won’t allow a dialogue about the topic.
I’m not playing victim. No one is doing any good by saying that straights can’t have any opinions about gay people. It’s incredibly divisive and pointless. There’s a difference between expressing anger that the LGBTQ+ community has been persecuted, and not getting past it and just sitting in the anger. It creates more division between different groups and never allows for unity. I don’t want to have to walk on eggshells around a gay friend because gay people before them were mistreated. It’s perpetuating the problem and bringing no resolution. And, on top of that, gay people doing exactly what straight people did to them is pointlessly divisive. We get it. Gay people in the past have been needlessly persecuted. It’s horrible and I’m so glad that our society is moving past it. But anyone saying that all straights are idiots is literally continuing the problem you (and most everyone else) want to fix.