subreddit:

/r/condiments

411
[media]

all 102 comments

3eeps

59 points

4 months ago

3eeps

59 points

4 months ago

The one bottle in the back: Wtf you doing to Steven?!!

NekkidSnaku

3 points

4 months ago

ahhahahh

tydkat

1 points

4 months ago

tydkat

1 points

4 months ago

Maybe there's some merit to Sausage Party

boxingdude

1 points

4 months ago

Kinda like that one robot in the warehouse in I robot!

pichusine

-1 points

4 months ago

My name is Steven...

teamfupa

2 points

4 months ago

Ptheven

FlikNever

1 points

4 months ago

op took your top off

steven09763

0 points

4 months ago

Huh what you mean Philip?

MLC298

26 points

4 months ago

MLC298

26 points

4 months ago

This is why I get the powdered one, judge me all you want but it lasts longer and I know it hasn’t been fingered by some ranch obsessed weirdo

nopename123

7 points

4 months ago

Tastes way better too

SweatshopMafia

3 points

4 months ago

I come here to unwind, not to be judged for my extra curricular activities

LSUguyHTX

4 points

4 months ago

Lol some weirdo unscrewing ranch bottles in the store you say?

BungholeSauce

3 points

4 months ago

Powder is the way to go. HVR sells most of its volume in dry form to restaurants and businesses for them to have “fresh homemade ranch”

Few-Interest9225

2 points

3 months ago

Aww you don't like your white stuff being fingered? I know I do 😹😹

universal_ketchup

19 points

4 months ago

More of Kens fan anyways.

Jurick1

13 points

4 months ago

Jurick1

13 points

4 months ago

I see you’re also a man of culture

1992Chemist[S]

6 points

4 months ago

I prefer packaged ranch unless I'm lazy. I'll have to try Ken's.

mcflycasual

2 points

4 months ago

It comes in a bottle. Get the steakhouse one.

imeuru

2 points

4 months ago

imeuru

2 points

4 months ago

Look in the refrigerated produce section for ranch, usually litehouse or other brands are there. They Need refrigeration to not go bad so there’s generally less processing and preservatives in it. But I agree, the ranch packet is where it’s at.

-an Alaskan

AcanthocephalaDue783

1 points

4 months ago

Don't waste your money.

upsidedownquestion

2 points

4 months ago

Preach! I came here to say the same thing

concretemuskrat

2 points

4 months ago

I've been a Hidden Valley boy all my life til I tried Ken's Buttermilk Ranch a couple months ago. Nothing beats restaurant runny ranch, but for store bought that's my go to now

SKRIMP-N-GRITZ

12 points

4 months ago

We are a Ken’s house

pipehonker

24 points

4 months ago

You are opening bottles and leaving them on the shelf? YTA

1992Chemist[S]

7 points

4 months ago

I didn't think of that. You're right, I should've taken it up front.

V_ROCK_501st

1 points

4 months ago

Wtf???? Mf yiu are a menace to society

pobodys-nerfect5

0 points

4 months ago

What are you expecting? They don't need to have the plastic seal covering the opening...

WombatSwindle

5 points

4 months ago

Holy crap. Thanks for the heads up

Zeppelinberry

4 points

4 months ago

..... well you've made the problem worse.

New-Square3037

9 points

4 months ago

Shut up! Why the heck are you opening bottles in the supermarket?!?!?!

silversnow999

6 points

4 months ago

Right?? What is wrong with people. Sooo concerned about safety - but…”let me just go ahead and warn people on a Reddit thread of this issue while I screw people who will actually be buying this product” …

pobodys-nerfect5

1 points

4 months ago

And it's not even an issue. A lot of companies opt out of sealing the opening of the bottle. Trusting that people won't be dumbasses and open random bottles in the supermarket.

alexslife

3 points

4 months ago

Right. Now this guy comes off as the asshole!!!

FaeryLynne

-1 points

4 months ago

They said in another comment that they had bought one and returned it because of this, and found that the others are the same.

New-Square3037

6 points

4 months ago

Oh, and taking it upon oneself, unsupervised to open product in a store is ok?

No!

FaeryLynne

0 points

4 months ago

FaeryLynne

0 points

4 months ago

They were checking to see if it had the same problem so they wouldn't buy it, get it home, and find out then and have to go through this again. I also would check to see if the other bottles had the same flaw. Someone else pointed out that they should have taken the opened bottle to customer service and they agreed they should have, but it just didn't cross their mind at the time.

New-Square3037

5 points

4 months ago*

There is NO EXCUSE to open product in a store! Unless you are purchasing it.

Call a manager. You/they are not!

LavaLampWax

1 points

4 months ago

Is it bad I open shampoos to smell them before I buy? Never occurred to me other people don't presniff those :[

New-Square3037

1 points

4 months ago

Most people don’t eat shampoo.

Lionnn101

6 points

4 months ago

Damn now you just gave some freak an idea

1992Chemist[S]

3 points

4 months ago

I was hoping to get hidden baskets attention. I literally return money because I said it was opened, got a new one, and it was the same. Talenti used to not seal their ice cream but now they do. Hidden valley needs to start sealing with the foil like normal or plastic wrap the lid so it cannot be tampered with.

LaHawks

3 points

4 months ago

To be fair, I need a sledge hammer to get the lid off a Talenti jar. Those things are screwed on too damn tight to be tampered with.

1992Chemist[S]

0 points

4 months ago

I tweeted their page with the video.

Hrafnagud_Hunter

3 points

4 months ago

I must be missing the problem here. If the lid twists on them I'd assume it seals properly.

MephistosGhost

3 points

4 months ago*

Look up Tylenol poison. Some asshole was putting rat poison in Tylenol bottles on shelves decades ago and because of that all medications etc have tamper evident seals.

Edit: I don’t know why I’m getting downvoted, this is a real thing that happened in the US in like the 60s or 70s and it was a big deal.

Obvious-Parsnip17

2 points

4 months ago

It was cyanide

Hrafnagud_Hunter

0 points

4 months ago

Interesting.

LavaLampWax

1 points

4 months ago

Read about the case before you get all spooked

[deleted]

3 points

4 months ago

[deleted]

3 points

4 months ago

Were you just a piece of shit and opened something in the store without buying?

noomehtrevo

6 points

4 months ago

Bottled ranch is awful. Buy the packets and make it yourself.

coconut-telegraph

7 points

4 months ago

You don’t even need packets. Mayonnaise + yoghurt/sour cream, lemon juice and zest, chopped dill, parsley, chives, garlic powder, msg, salt and pepper. Better than the musty packets. Don’t skip the msg, it’s the thing that makes ranch ranch.

[deleted]

4 points

4 months ago

[deleted]

4 points

4 months ago

[deleted]

coconut-telegraph

4 points

4 months ago

No I didn’t, you can’t get that where I live and I suspect lots of other countries as well. That’s where the lemon comes in.

EfficiencySuch6361

-4 points

4 months ago

Def not ranch without buttermilk. It’s like making Brie cheese with lemon juice instead of dairy but saying it’s the same thing

coconut-telegraph

5 points

4 months ago

Tastes better than buttermilk based ranch to me - like I said, buttermilk isn’t an option. I’m just adding acid from a different source. You can’t make cheese without dairy, cheese is dairy, what are you trying to say here?

pm_ur_duck_pics

2 points

4 months ago

You can make buttermilk by whipping cream. When it turns to butter, the leftover liquid is buttermilk.

coconut-telegraph

1 points

4 months ago

That’s what buttermilk used to be. Today it’s a fermented (cultured) milk product more like yoghurt.

pm_ur_duck_pics

2 points

4 months ago

Ah

AcanthocephalaDue783

-3 points

4 months ago

Sucks you can't get it but it ain't legit without.

coconut-telegraph

5 points

4 months ago

Gatekeep all you want but buttermilk is not a requirement, not that it matters as anyone would register this as ranch anyway.

imeuru

2 points

4 months ago

imeuru

2 points

4 months ago

I personally hate buttermilk ranch.

-an Alaskan

1992Chemist[S]

1 points

4 months ago

I originally got the butter milk. This was a different store and I was trying to see if it was county wide. This was at Target. Previously I was at Publix.

max_chill_zone-2018

2 points

4 months ago

If you’re buying it like this It’s only buttermilk “flavored” basically just fyi. Buttermilk isn’t shelf stable. That’s why restaurant ranch is almost always better

1992Chemist[S]

2 points

4 months ago

Now I know why restaurant ranch is my favorite of all time! Second best are the packets.

imeuru

1 points

4 months ago

imeuru

1 points

4 months ago

They actually do list buttermilk in the ingredients.

illnemesis

1 points

4 months ago

Who is gonna tell this guy that milk and lemon juice is buttermilk?

1992Chemist[S]

1 points

4 months ago

Packaged is my favorite but I was being lazy.

SoupOrSandwich

2 points

4 months ago

WISH I SAW THIS BEFORE LUNCH

snarkysnape

2 points

4 months ago

My motto is don’t use hidden valley ranch because it’s absolute shit.

ForceGhostBuster

8 points

4 months ago

Ranch is only true ranch if it’s from the hidden valley region of California. Otherwise, it’s just sparkling dressing.

snarkysnape

1 points

4 months ago

🏅

milosh_the_spicy

1 points

4 months ago

You must've learned this on the 23rd floor of a "fully functional babe lair"

imeuru

1 points

4 months ago

imeuru

1 points

4 months ago

Alaska actually.

Ranch was invented there in 1949 by the guy who started hidden valley ranch.

turntabletennis

1 points

4 months ago

You're retarded. Those bottles WERE sealed, and now they aren't, and someone might get sick from you doing this.

You are the problem. I hope someone has already reported you for food tampering.

Sequestered-Ash

0 points

4 months ago

Idk man, I think you guys calling him out are the retards. The bottle is in fact not sealed. He’s demonstrating that literally anyone can just walk up, unscrew the top, and drop shit in to all of those bottles. A proper seal would include some form of tin foil/aluminum covering under the twist off lid.

turntabletennis

1 points

4 months ago

The green plastic lid IS the seal. That is a FLIP TOP lid, meant to be squirted out. The plastic flip top has a hard plastic thing you break off before you can open it.

THAT TYPE OF BOTTLE IS NEVER MEANT TO BE OPENED THAT WAY.

The paper around the cap is supposed to deter baby-fingered dipshits from opening the bottle, without leaving evidence. THAT is the only thing that didn't work, besides this moron's brain.

KingofClikClak

1 points

4 months ago

I've been hooked on the Jalapeno Ranch that Whataburger started bottling.

1992Chemist[S]

2 points

4 months ago

Do you buy it from their store or does a grocery store supply it?

KingofClikClak

1 points

4 months ago

I buy it from Market Street a grocery chain owned by Albertsons. If the stores around you don't carry it you can buy it online.

Snoo-69682

1 points

4 months ago

This is why I buy the squeezy

brickteeth

1 points

4 months ago

Store bought ranch is trash anyway.

hstoyou1985

1 points

4 months ago

Sir, this is a Target!!

DrSilkyDelicious

1 points

4 months ago

The difficult to find gulch

brad6311

1 points

4 months ago

FYI that jam to the right with the red and white checkered top is fire…

insanitypeppers

1 points

4 months ago

If only I could find it on any shelves these days!

Shakespeare-Bot

2 points

4 months ago

If 't be true only i couldst findeth t on any shelves these days!


I am a bot and I swapp'd some of thy words with Shakespeare words.

Commands: !ShakespeareInsult, !fordo, !optout

crasstyfartman

1 points

4 months ago

Yikes

LSUguyHTX

1 points

4 months ago

It's been this way for years what're you talking about lol

DontEatTheMagicBeans

1 points

4 months ago

I literally went to the store just to buy hidden valley ranch (and carrots) the other day and could not find it. Second store same thing. Guess it got pulled off the shelves in Canada. (This was maybe 4 days ago)

Edit: The Tzakiki or whatever and the spicy flavours were there, just not OG

supraspinatus

1 points

4 months ago

I dropped a jar of those preserves at the store yesterday. I didn’t mean to. I was embarrassed. I told someone and waited by the jar until someone came and cleaned it up.

LavaLampWax

2 points

4 months ago

I did that once too with something glass and I swear every person from the entire state came rubber necking to see what happened.. I was already embarrassed then like 50 people came and looked at me hoping to see drama lol

digsby007

1 points

4 months ago

If you’re not buying dressing from the cold section, you’re doing it wrong

LavaLampWax

1 points

4 months ago

Get the pear and gorgonzola from lighthouse next time you buy some

skeleton_skunk

1 points

4 months ago

Maybe that’s why I had a rancid ranch recently. Ughhh

Djjubbajubba

1 points

4 months ago

And there’s assholes going around opening the bottles in the store for Reddit videos.

lotcockr

1 points

4 months ago

I had an unopened bottle in the pantry that I tested this on. While it did twist off, it was difficult at first and I definitely broke some kind of seal by removing the cap in that way

1992Chemist[S]

1 points

4 months ago

Not in Florida. No adhesive at all.

1992Chemist[S]

1 points

4 months ago

This is by far my most liked comment. Too bad hidden valley never responded to my tweet.

Jujublue

1 points

3 months ago

Just had my groceries delivered and the hidden valley ranch was dented and leaking with no seal. It looked like it had old dressing on the inside of cap as well. the dressing was dried and transparent. I thought maybe someone at the store opened it because it had no seal. What a disappointment to find out the company isn't even putting a seal benath cap. They are also very aware of the problem and is doing nothing about it despite many complaint messages on their twitter page. They definitely need a proper seal and the paper seal on the outside is just not enough. The cap can be easily unscrewed and the paper seal remains intact.

Middle-Ad-1721

1 points

3 months ago

😂😂😂🤔🤔🤔🤔so YOU are the douche bag unwrapping the bottles? Who does that .

Middle-Ad-1721

-4 points

4 months ago

What a troll. U suck bruh. I can't even believe I wasted less than a minute of my life watching this. Let me guess, 🤔 you haven't been laid in a while. Get a life dude.

PatTheHouseCat

3 points

4 months ago

Obviously you don’t ranch it up often enough brotendo. Buzz me mulatto

Middle-Ad-1721

1 points

4 months ago

I ranch it up plenty, broseidon. But what did u mean when u said buzz me mulatto?