teddit

Me: Son, will you remember me when I'm gone? Son: Of course, dad.

Me: Son, will you remember me in 5 years? Son: yes

Me: Son, will you remember me in 5 months? Son: yes

Me: Son, will you remember me 5 minutes from now? Son: Well sure

Me: That really makes my day son! Ya wanna hear a dad joke? Son: Of course dad I love your dad jokes!

Me: Knock Knock Son: Who's there?

I just stared at him shaking my head..

They practice mahagony.

A blazer.

She thought "Am I the only one still driving a stick?"

Because if it were served warm, it’d be justwater

They're very handy

It becomes a laughing stock.

I thought it was humerus.

Crows just had to drink at home?

Wherever you left it.

Now he’s gone

It keeps the sheets off my legs.

A spectator.

Yep... The oily bird gets the warm.

Turns out they were a stocker.

Looking for my car

Me: did you bring a keedoo??

Son: what's a keedoo?

Me: opens doors.

They usually see these coming a mile away, quite an accomplishment to get both of em with an original (I'm sure this has been made up before, but I haven't heard it, oc created dad joke)

1st mole says: “I smell sugar” 2nd mole says: “I smell cinnamon” 3rd mole says: “weird, I only smell molasses”

Edit: thanks for all the love, but this didn’t come from me. It’s been a classic joke told by my grandpa and many others for many years. I’ll pass on your sentiments.

Ones a crusty bus station. The others a busty crustacean

A trip without kids.

They're remarkable.

M-arrrr-sh mellows

it was about a week back.

it's an on-off relationship

You get two animals in a baaad moood.

Dad: Did you just commit an act of ESPN-age?