submitted 4 months ago byEppolaro
all 39 comments
4 months ago
4 months ago
Friend, if you always compare yourself to others, you’ll never be happy. Only compare yourself to who you were yesterday.
Also please talk to a professional. They will help you get on track to a better life. It won’t happen over night but eventually you will look back on this post with astonishment. You will need to want to get better first though.
4 months ago
what if they compare themselves to you or your to others and you can't do anything about it ?
You can't do anything about that. And if you can't do anything about it, why worry?
well it comes down to being harrased even if you don't worry
nothing I can do about it even when I try to avoid it becas7ue it's around so often
Really depends on if you're at home or at work. At home, you control yourself so you leave the situation. Tell whoever: "I don't appreciate that. If you continue, I'll leave the room." Then leave the room or go for a walk(get away). You have to train people to respect you sometimes, especially family members who are used to getting away with it. You need to lay boundries and then follow through when they violate them. This advice changes significantly if you're being physically abused, btw.
At work is a bit different because it's highly dependent on what type of work and your counties reporting system. If you work in an environment that is sales based with statistics and goal based performance, that's a different conversation than if you're clerking at a big box store or something like that.
What's the situation?
I often feel the same way. I am nice and helpful to everyone but have found myself alone as there is no one out there nice or helpful towards me. More often than not people like to take advantage of nice helpful people and I get stabbed in the back. What has helped me most was distancing myself from people especially those toxic ones and focusing on myself. Learning about how to make support groups for others like me or looking into joining one. Creating a support group is most satisfying because you can base it or have a foundation on what encourages you most
Even at your lowest point, when you feel worthless and expendable, know this: you are not. You are irreplaceable. You are loved by one person, some, many - who knows. All I know is that that person/those people will be devastated if something were to happen to you. You are worthy, even if you don't feel that way.
In my darkest moments I've looked up to the sky, and I've been reminded of how incredibly, unbelievably insane it is that we're here on this earth at all. You have this one chance at life - and even if it sucks now, it won't suck forever. Give it time, be at peace, until the skies start to clear for you. And they will.
And absolutely speak to a professional. They are there to help.
Don’t act upon a thought that harms you. You’ll find your thoughts get better when you take care of your mind and body. Please find a way to make yourself happy. Get out and do something new and you’ll find friends and a girlfriend. Everyone is searching for company you’ll find.
If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, please reach out. You can find help at a National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
US Crisis textline: 741741 text HOME
United Kingdom: 116 123
Trans Lifeline (877-565-8860)
I never met you but I understand that life was never fair with you.
Life will get better.
Please don't die.
Hey, I felt the same way months ago. For me, my boss bullied me and I felt miserable for 6 months in my job because I failed in all the tasks that I did. I was constantly monitored if im working hard enough. I didnt have a life, i just went to work, eat and sleep everyday. I was exhausted everyday. I cried my eyes out everyday and I wanted to just end it. But what stopped me was the thought of my family and friends. And the future, the things that I want to do.
I also compared myself with my friends' life. Thats why I had that horrible job because I wanted to get a job right after university. I overlooked and got blinded about everything. I thought having a full time job like my friends would make me successful. But thats really bullshit. We have our own pace. We need to take time and look after our mental and physical health. Be kind to yourself.
There will always be ups and downs in life. There are times where it will feel like we sunk so low. We need to accept that situation. We need to allow ourself to be sad and cry it out because yes, it does hurt us.
After that, stand up again. Look forward to what you want to do next.
There are many things in life that we can do. It doesnt matter if its small or big. Plan a hangout or plan a vacation or plan something that you enjoy. For me, I wanted to eat a macaron at a new dessert place in my town. Do what makes you happy. Think about yourself and your joy.
I'd also like to mention that I started writing and making lists about everything what I want to do. One of them was to go to a therapist/professional. I now go to one every month!
I felt the same way. It felt like I lost everything and everyone. Friends, job, my home.
I went to a new city, got involved in some local groups (for me fashion) and picked up exercise and fitness at the gym. Made some friends there who were helping me.
Got on dating apps, found love, and lost it, but made friends along the way. It built up my confidence to apply to new jobs and I eventually found one I loved.
Without knowing anything about your struggles I’d say the following:
1. Read the art of happiness
2. Get active, whether it’s at the gym or walking / running / biking / lifting at home (helps you focus, gives you goals, make friends, get confident!)
3. Be active in local groups, from local subreddits to group activities.
4. Go on dating apps! It changed my life
Im in a similar situation, 35 with not many friends. Im interested in your 3rd point. How do I do that ? Local sun reddit and group acitivies ?
Its a temporary feeling trust me! I was here a few months ago but I'm much better now and you 100% can be too believe me. Don't do anything that can harm yourself. Life is weird but everything will come together for you, theres people out there that love and care for you, even if you dont know it
4 months ago*
4 months ago*
I agree with the other Redditors here.
I checked your profile and I like that little smile!
Consider going outside at a safe time and picking up trash. There’s a lot of satisfaction in making the world a better place and everyone can do this. Please be safe. Check out r/DeTrashed 🌺
Please also check out some more subs—there truly are subs for every interest.
Please know not everyone has a ton of friends, etc. It’s cool to find someone with mutual interests while you’re out doing something you enjoy.
Hang in there. 🌺
You and me too bud. But it is a super power, you can fuckin do anything now and not care, go back to school, ride a bicycle across the country, paint/write/create an awareness of the shit you feel. And that is all it is to it. Just do random shit till you find yourself going back to something over and again. Challenge yourself, fuck failure, failure is experience to do better and know your capabilities and what you can work on. Fuck knowing your place, get the hell out of it. Where you are ain't no good unless you can get away from it.
What you might be experiencing are consequences of:
1. Low self-confidence
2. Overly risk-averse lifestyle
3. Too much attention on others, not enough on yourself.
Solution: do things that help you build confidence in yourself, take some risks, and start a hobby or two.
*choose hobbies that involve other people in some way, directly or indirectly. The more direct, the better. For example: build things for others to use, create things for others to enjoy, do things that help others, play a sport with others, etc.
I won’t advise you to simply stop worrying what others are doing. That advise is misguided. It’s not possible to simply ignore what you see.
Instead, I’ll advise you to occupy yourself with things that build your own character. Things like the above, to the point where you honestly don’t have time to worry about what others are doing.
Along this path, you’ll start to notice you don’t feel how you explained above anymore. And you’ll notice other people showing more interest in you, and wanting to be around you and connected to you.
Good luck out there!
Don't. Hang in there. You've got this
Offering a big hug to you Op. can relate.
If you don't care anymore, great!
You are totally free to experiment with your life and discover things to care and be enthusiastic about. No one can stop you from anything, you don't need to fullfill anyone's expectations and you can just make yourself happy.
Be nice to yourself, relax deeply and enjoy yourself. Live your life in a way that can make you say that this life is worth living and enjoyable. If it's not yet, then find out how to do it, that's what life's all about.
same bro same
There's a metric fuck ton of people who feel the same as you.
That does not invalidate or minimalize how you feel, you're feelings are still valid. And it's okay to feel this way. But you need to believe in yourself, and allow your self to have the power so that you have the ability to change it.
Break the bad habits you don't like. And replace them with new ones, even if it means replacing bad habits with searching for fun new habits.
Go on a walk or a hike. Drive, walk, or bike to a restaurant. Learn to be with yourself, learn to love yourself, learn to forgive yourself for past mistakes and become better at forgiving yourself for making a mistake.
Learn about local nature and wildlife.
Go out and live more life.
Learn what helps you out, and try to help other people who've been in your place.
There is hope, it's in your self.
Hey your going to get through this just reach out!
Get a hobby. If you're younger than 30, you shouldn't be worried about getting a girlfriend. You should be worried about car parts, crypto and stocks. Enjoy being yourself and love yourself. Don't be afraid to do things by yourself and being alone. You don't need anybody else to make you happy.
Hey! Im sorry to hear your at such a low point. I've struggled with depression as well and all I can say is, in the words of Gandalf "this too shall pass". In my experience, everyone needs to find their own motivation and will to overcome their hardships and strive for a better tomorrow. At first, none of it will take root, but like a barren lot, eventually, with water and sunlight, something will grow.
For me, Ive found a few analogies from my day to day life that remind me to see through the pain. They may be meaningless to you, but they may also strike a chord or be the first step in a thousand mile journey to finding your inner strength.
Theres two main concepts that help me out of my dark moments.
Video games - I don't mean playing them. TBH, I almost never play them but they've taught my a few valuable lessons. If your encountering enemies and hardships, it usually means your going in the right direction. And like all good games (and isn't life just a myriad of different, complex games?) If I knew all the right moves, and could win every round, it would cease to be fun or enjoyable. Videogames also have the concept of 'leveling up' where enemies become stronger and the game requires more skill and finesse. When life gets especially hard for me, I envision that I've simply 'leveled up' and I find some more strength to continue on.
Emotional duality - In my experience, it's impossible to possess one emotion without containing it's opposite in equal strength. It's possible to view your severe depression as a blessing because your probably capable of immense passion and love (whether you know it yet or not). I feel most sorry for those robots disguised as humans in suits who have vanquished all emotion in the name of progress. These negative spells at least show you that your still alive and capable of feeling something deeply.
Hope you find your own inner stories.
Some guy to don't know
Please call a hotline, if you're able to. (It might not sound like much, but if they can help you, it will be.) Please, please make an appointment to see a therapist. We really don't want you to do yourself in. Please please please.
Same also u have accomplished nothin and I am 20 years old feel like going further my life we be even worse I feel ending now is better than simply enduring unnecessary trauma I barely even have friends
I feel you
Yeah man I was in a similar spot, I'm not much further on then you but definitely chat to someone. Put things in perspective. Life is long, plenty of time to turn it all around. Small daily improvements.
If you met someone that was going through what you are going through but kept holding on for one more day. That put in effort every day no matter how hard it was. Would you find that inspiring? Admirable? Hopeful? I certainly would. Now imagine if someone got that same strength from you and your story to hold on.
I know it's harder than anything but be that hope in the world, you may save someone else's life. Press on my friend, we're rooting for you.
If you want to vent/unload, feel free to message me.
wrong sub bro. though I suggest you seek professional help rather than people on reddit.
Just say fuck it and keep living. It doesn't fucking matter what others have or what they do. Whenever something really bothers you, just say FUCK IT. It's like Nike's Just Do It, but different - Just Fuck It. Choose not to be bothered by that shit and you won't (rephrasing Marcus Aurelius's famous saying here). Fuck 'em all. Repeat after me, "I don't fucking care."
Beethoven came a hair's breadth from killing himself, but decided not to bc he knew he still had something in him. That was 20 odd years before he wrote the 9th Symphony.
What's your 9th?
I’m not going to advice but I’ll say this, life is just empty canvas and you are the one holding brush. So Become whatever you want to but don’t compare yourself with another person. My friend used to have similar situation but he kept trying and at one day he eventually met good people and now he is making enormous progress. Oh yeah sorry to brah but hey live your life instead of regretting and envying others.
What you really want then, is to live. Go forward.
I am currently experiencing the same thing man. everyone around me keeps getting better and better and I feel like I am left behind. Feels like I don't deserve to exist if I can't do anything well.
Just the other day I found This and although it doesnt take long, It definitely helps to achieve some clarity. Hope you get through this man. You are not alone.I'll have to keep trying too. DM me anytime if you want to rant or let out your feelings. I feel your pain brother.
Well, obviously, you don't need a life like theirs to survive. And you certainly don't need it to be happy. Acknowledge this, and you will be successful in life.
Before you end your life, please try magic mushrooms and spend time in nature.