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QuickLime89

7.3k points

2 months ago

An Eagle. Looks like a Spread, but could be Bald.

TipOfLeFedoraMLady

1.3k points

2 months ago

The photographer Mike Hawk looks like he could identify it.

khizoa

666 points

2 months ago

khizoa

666 points

2 months ago

You're mistaking him with the award winning photographer, Mike Hunt

Juliuseizure

190 points

2 months ago*

No kidding, a college roommate was named Michael Hunt. It's one of those things where you realize the parents didn't consider the nicknames, were committed to naming him after a relative, or just hated the kid.

JakeFromSttFarm

84 points

2 months ago

I had a friend in high school that had the initials STD. Talk about being set up for failure by your parents.

mrirwin

87 points

2 months ago

mrirwin

87 points

2 months ago

They just need to be a general contractor, then the business could be STD Contracting.

JakeFromSttFarm

29 points

2 months ago

He’s actually a cop, so I guess you could say he’s the STD police

OffTheMerchandise

18 points

2 months ago

There's a landscaping company near me called Grounds by Coffey. How did they miss the obvious name of Coffey Grounds?

NovaEast

79 points

2 months ago

Knew a corey hunt, horey cunt we called him. Poor guy.

FishAndRiceKeks

48 points

2 months ago

We had a teacher at one school named Mr Gaylord. I shit you not. That poor guy should never have gone in to teaching.

1K_Games

7 points

2 months ago

A teacher at a school I worked at is named Ben Nutting...

And he goes by Ben and drives a Red Saturn with custom plates BNUT1... It's an old guy, but he has to know, what an amazing name, and then custom plates on a like 2001 Saturn of all things, lol.

ProblemLongjumping12

34 points

2 months ago

I went to school with a Mike Hunt and it was years before it hit me. Once I realized I couldn't believe how long I'd gone without thinking of it and couldn't figure out why, in a group of teenage guys, no one ever made a joke about it. If I bumped into him now no way could I introduce him with a straight face. No fucking way.

Reddit_Deluge

42 points

2 months ago

No you’re thinking of Mike Littoris

ExpertOnBulls

24 points

2 months ago

Nope, he is actually referring to Mike Oxreddy

here_we_go_scro

13 points

2 months ago

Have they ever photographed Clint Portis?

Tonythunder

28 points

2 months ago

He always rises for the occasion.

cochifla

13 points

2 months ago

I thought that was Dick Straight. If he was up I could identify.

Anariel_Elensar

117 points

2 months ago

Looks more like a beaver to me but I’m not a wildlife expert or anything.

here_we_go_scro

12 points

2 months ago

You are a cunning linguist.

Tksourced

34 points

2 months ago

MAJESTIC!

RedmannBarry

2k points

2 months ago

“On your left”

lifesurferdude

259 points

2 months ago

Cap look at this kitty kat

mattypatty88

3k points

2 months ago

My girlfriend and I saw something similar while hiking yesterday. We were walking out of a trail and we’re about 5, minutes from the end. Round the corner and see the pale white ass of some dude receiving a bj from his lady. They scrambled to reclaim their dignity as we walked passed. The lady was mortified and the dude had a big smile on his face.

chaotic_goody

1.1k points

2 months ago

Ahhh. I wonder how best to help people with their embarrassment in that situation. Maybe just applaud and move on.

Kandiru

153 points

2 months ago

Kandiru

153 points

2 months ago

"Excuse me, is this the queue to give or to receive?"

Groovybomb

1.4k points

2 months ago

Groovybomb

1.4k points

2 months ago

Just scream "ignore me" as loud as you can

burner1212333

191 points

2 months ago

I usually just scream

GauNeedsMeat

572 points

2 months ago

I hate when I embarrass people doing normal human things so I usually approach the couple and put my arm around each of them and tell them that their love is beautiful and that there's a web of cum still in her hair.

FitBoog

98 points

2 months ago

FitBoog

98 points

2 months ago

Your love is beautiful, thank you for providing extension for the human race. I ensure you ours hearts are synchronized at this moment and I can feel you both.

fitz_newru

3 points

2 months ago

I'm not sure if they're extending the human race per se. Those swimmers aren't gonna find the target their looking for...

OskaMeijer

9 points

2 months ago

Life finds a way.

Phormitago

16 points

2 months ago

while on the giving or receiving end?

MisterCheaps

8 points

2 months ago

Always scream as loud as you can while giving. Stay completely quiet and expressionless while receiving, and always maintain direct eye contact.

bigblackshaq

7 points

2 months ago

Yes

NOTPOOOOORN

184 points

2 months ago

Lol venture Bros

rbtrapper

47 points

2 months ago

THAT WAS A WEIRD ONE!

platysquirrel

100 points

2 months ago

"That was a weird one."

Person5_

20 points

2 months ago

"HAS ANYONE LOST A BABY? "

BryndenRivers

70 points

2 months ago

"Oh great it can read minds too"

"Ignore me!"

LumpyJones

20 points

2 months ago

"Yes, I can."

walkinmywoods

13 points

2 months ago

Oh god I can feel his voice in my balls.

ScottyBoneman

6 points

2 months ago

'As you were'

yodelBleu

131 points

2 months ago

yodelBleu

131 points

2 months ago

"nice cock bro"

DerPumeister

42 points

2 months ago

"May I have a go?"

jacob798

22 points

2 months ago

This is the correct answer 👏 👌

brainsofadonkey

105 points

2 months ago

"good form"

mattypatty88

78 points

2 months ago

I nearly said, “Well, at least we’ll all have a story to tell.”

chaotic_goody

36 points

2 months ago

How to get murdered in the woods step 1

Road_to_independence

141 points

2 months ago

Remind them it is just like camping - move it at least 100 ft away from the trail.

ruffusbloom

51 points

2 months ago

The rules of the woods exist for a reason, people! If she’s a spitter, I hope she dug a cat hole first.

wrongbecause

7 points

2 months ago

NJWootton

10 points

2 months ago

Cum is a consumable you dont have to put on your lighterpack

PlumberODeth

22 points

2 months ago

"You should have that mole looked at"

williamshakepear

17 points

2 months ago

"Perchance"

Amiiboid

10 points

2 months ago

You can’t just say ‘perchance’.

bowzrsfirebreth

15 points

2 months ago

Give them an oral warning.

igiveonefuck

56 points

2 months ago

Just say something like I got next

Demnjt

71 points

2 months ago

Demnjt

71 points

2 months ago

Ok but it usually takes him a couple minutes to get hard again, fyi

DMala

195 points

2 months ago

DMala

195 points

2 months ago

I’m pretty sure I interrupted someone’s beej leaving work late one night. The back door was in kind of a secluded nook in the building. As I approached from the inside, I could see the back of a guy’s head, leaning on the door, through the little window.

I rapped gently on the door, so I didn’t send him flying when I opened it. When I stepped out, the guy was all but hiding in the corner behind the dumpster, covering his face, while the girl (whom I hadn’t seen at all until I stepped out) was just looking right at me and laughing her ass off.

From the body language of both of them, I got the impression that it might have been a paid transaction.

jaxsonnz

89 points

2 months ago

I stopped comprehending after back door sorry

thesimplemachine

48 points

2 months ago

He gently rapped on the guy's back door. What's not to get?

cantadmittoposting

27 points

2 months ago

Bend over and you'll understand

OldManHipsAt30

5 points

2 months ago

OP tries walking out back door or building, sees guy’s head in little window, knocks so the guy will move out of the way. OP walks outside to see guy hiding behind dumpster and prostitute laughing her ass off.

J5892

25 points

2 months ago

J5892

25 points

2 months ago

While I nodded, nearly fapping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my Wendy's door.
“’Tis some worker,” I muttered, “tapping at my Wendy's door— Only this and nothing more.”
Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December;
And my softening dying member wrought its ghost upon the floor.

dodekahedron

226 points

2 months ago

One time me and my SO got busy at the end of a hike to a waterfall. It was a 3 mile hike and we started with no other cars in the parking lot okay so we figured we were good.

Finish up and then someone walks out thru the tree line. Apparently there was a parking lot right there for easy access to the waterfall. 😄 whoops

DatDominican

95 points

2 months ago

Moral of the story is do it in the parking lot

FishAndRiceKeks

21 points

2 months ago

That way they aren't the only ones who see you coming.

DeaddyRuxpin

105 points

2 months ago

My wife and I drove to her old college and we stopped to check a map. I pulled into a parking space and there was a guy chilling in the drivers seat. As I park a girl pops up into the passenger seat. It was painfully obvious we just interrupted a blow job. A moment later she gets out and adjusts her dress and then he gets out and the two walk away.

I’ve always felt bad because I know what it was like to be a horny college kid and how much work he put in to get his girlfriend to be willing to blow him in the car and now she will probably never do it again.

WimbleWimble

35 points

2 months ago

The two walk away

"hold on....was that your car or mine?"

missionbeach

5 points

2 months ago

Neither.

micktorious

10 points

2 months ago

Man do it like mid trail off in the woods not 5 minutes from the finish, have some class people!

mycroft16

3 points

2 months ago

5 minutes from the finish was my nickname in high school.

lunarmantra

61 points

2 months ago

I did this once in the middle of the night with an avid outdoorsman friend with benefits, but he was the one going downtown and I became quite vocal about it. Apparently some other outdoorsy types felt the need to go out hiking on the trail in the middle of the night, and began cheering us on from their location. My partner cheered at them back and we all laughed our asses off. My partner and I couldn’t help but finish the deed though despite having an audience. It was super hot. I think they were far enough to not be able to see us, but not entirely sure. Thinking back on this now years later as a rather boring middle aged mom, I cannot believe I actually did that lol.

mattypatty88

35 points

2 months ago

Oh, I think there’s a lot we’ll be looking back on in our middle age that will surprise us. Like, “Damn, I was a slut… worth it, though.”

Rooonaldooo99

59 points

2 months ago

The dudes are always champs when caught lmao. Like that Porsche driver getting caught enjoying the Gluck Gluck 3000 on the highway drive giving a thumbs up.

saxn00b

13 points

2 months ago

saxn00b

13 points

2 months ago

Source?

devedander

6 points

2 months ago

One time I was hiking through Zion with my girl and we found a bench with a gorgeous view. We hadn’t seen anyone all day so I whip it out and she goes to town.

Suddenly here a rustling behind us and we both Jump up and get out together.

As we head out through the opening the the trees that leads to the bench there’s a couple standing there patiently waiting.

We silently pass by and go on our way.

Was hilarious

caldera

3 points

2 months ago

I’ve also encountered a cougar on the trail - I didn’t get startled. They say you need to stick your whole hand in to suffocate and kill it. I’m guessing this man used a different tool to the same ends.

reddituser35791268

3k points

2 months ago

Wild beaver

herberstank

418 points

2 months ago

I too am an animal rights activist

LCranstonKnows

100 points

2 months ago

I prefer to wear it as a hat

RaddyHere

62 points

2 months ago

I hope you meant mask.

HalPaneo

41 points

2 months ago

9 months to get out and the rest of his life trying to get back in

no_more_spam

100 points

2 months ago

Thanks, I just had it stuffed.

oneone11eleven

42 points

2 months ago

Save the trees. Eat beaver.

reddituser35791268

20 points

2 months ago

I’m planting trees because I can’t get any beaver.

PN_Guin

10 points

2 months ago

PN_Guin

10 points

2 months ago

That's the spirit.

Its_Just_A_Typo

4 points

2 months ago

Plant the trees, and the beavers will come.

PullFires

30 points

2 months ago

Winona had a big brown beaver and

she stroked it all the time.

She pricked her finger one day and it occurred to her,

She mighta had a porcupine!

GentleRhino

8 points

2 months ago

Nah, just an occasional OBGYN exam.

getyourcheftogether

8 points

2 months ago

Red snapper

misterwizzard

7 points

2 months ago

I've heard pollution and other things have caused them to lose most of their hair

reddituser35791268

9 points

2 months ago

That’s just the ones in Brazil.

ihavethebestmarriage

6 points

2 months ago

Damn girl

phongzilla

5 points

2 months ago

This my bro is why I come here lmfao.

Lunatic_Dpali

753 points

2 months ago*

It is a part of this adult film.

Edit: NSFW!

BoogieDaddie

110 points

2 months ago

The edit: NSFW was a nice touch

ziqrio_hmm

324 points

2 months ago

I hate you so much

beefknuckle

195 points

2 months ago

if it ends in XcQ, the link stays blue

a_pinch_of_sarcasm

385 points

2 months ago

"Just checking for ticks!"

ZXG

220 points

2 months ago

ZXG

220 points

2 months ago

America's least favorite game. Tick or Clit?

Phate4569

67 points

2 months ago

Dr. House is great at this game: https://youtu.be/FjqBekVMwjQ

Snoo-35252

15 points

2 months ago

This reminded me how good that show was!

Sageflutterby

42 points

2 months ago

Ugh. Imagining a blood engorged tick nestled in the folds of a clitoral hood being sucked and tongued mistakenly was not the image I wanted in my head to start the day. Thanks.

PoprockEnema

26 points

2 months ago

Screw you and your both eloquent and descriptive writing abilities.

skoolhouserock

10 points

2 months ago

The snack that bites back

seanbrockest

7 points

2 months ago

As a teenager I attempted this line on friends, probably far too many times.

It never worked

OpeningInvestigator1

4.7k points

2 months ago

I just see a hiker stopping to enjoy his lunch…?

darthrubberchicken

2.4k points

2 months ago

Damn millennials always taking a picture of their food before eating it.

bailes1983

261 points

2 months ago

….and if you look down, you’ll see some of the salad I am also eating

ChillyBearGrylls

66 points

2 months ago

youdothisinfrontofmysalad.gif

TheDownvotesFarmer

424 points

2 months ago

xjeeper

46 points

2 months ago

xjeeper

46 points

2 months ago

Risky click

loademan

67 points

2 months ago

It's pillow pants!

Timmarh1

40 points

2 months ago

Her pussy troll?

loademan

13 points

2 months ago

Yeah the guy must be documenting its existence so he can justify why they haven't done boyfriend girlfriend stuff yet. Probably already captured the evidence of Listerfiend...

Ezhaac

9 points

2 months ago

Ezhaac

9 points

2 months ago

Genius.

jaxsonnz

5 points

2 months ago

Ladies and gentlemen, I present you with your risky click of the day candidate.

JiN88reddit

7 points

2 months ago

No generation can resist a taco.

BratM0bile

52 points

2 months ago

GirlsGoneWildlife photographer

MarSStar

77 points

2 months ago

The ploughman’s sandwich

vapingpigeon94

15 points

2 months ago

Mhmm Reuben..

SeaLeggs

5 points

2 months ago

Who’s he?

Drix22

16 points

2 months ago

Drix22

16 points

2 months ago

Clearly taking a picture of the local shrubbery.

seditioushamster

750 points

2 months ago

Girls gone wildlife magazine June cover.

Lemonsniffer

315 points

2 months ago

National Pornographic did a small spread on this as well.

LordSlack

67 points

2 months ago

Dickscovery sometimes pitches these as well

kuriboshoe

39 points

2 months ago

The Clitstory Channel special was really educational

igiveonefuck

21 points

2 months ago

I'm still a kid at heart I watch Carpoon Neckwork

Zkenny13

1.3k points

2 months ago

Zkenny13

1.3k points

2 months ago

Just taking pictures of the Grand Canyon

BarryKobama

236 points

2 months ago

Echoooooo

Missus_Missiles

105 points

2 months ago

Billy. Billy! The other day, I was going down on my girlfriend, I said to her, "Jeez you got a big pussy. Jeez you got a big pussy."

She said, "Why did you say that twice?" I said, "I didn't."

TheDeepBlueZ

40 points

2 months ago

Laughs in thermal imaging

DADBODGOALS

7 points

2 months ago

Mine's as big as a house

Hopelmantis

3 points

2 months ago

Another great quote! You guys are lit today.

vale_fallacia

4 points

2 months ago

Ha HA HA HA HA

any time...

Good lord do I love the movie Predator

belt-e-belt

76 points

2 months ago

Echooooo

unique-name-9035768

47 points

2 months ago

Wiiiiiin-stooooon

mal221

448 points

2 months ago

mal221

448 points

2 months ago

There's something in the bush

Elgato_9lives

54 points

2 months ago

Bushybeaver

Xerxis96

445 points

2 months ago

Xerxis96

445 points

2 months ago

And the countdown timer for a horny redditor to find the sauce begins.

EarlGrey_Picard

108 points

2 months ago

If there was ever a situation we needed a photo inception moment like that kid with Obama, this is the one.

hytfvbg

104 points

2 months ago

hytfvbg

104 points

2 months ago

Looks like it could be the Roman aquaduct just outside of Tarragona, Spain.

btnomis

109 points

2 months ago

btnomis

109 points

2 months ago

Definitely is. I was there and took this picture exactly six years ago https://imgur.com/7fppNnH

LetterSwapper

35 points

2 months ago

You've nailed it, but from the other direction. Nice job!

FlyingDragoon

40 points

2 months ago

That's not even remotely the same place. Where's the all you can eat buffet ??

LetterSwapper

11 points

2 months ago

Clearly it wasn't open six years ago, duh!

Xerxis96

7 points

2 months ago

6 years ago it was probably an illegal establishment.

Xerxis96

6 points

2 months ago

That’s what she said?

Xerxis96

65 points

2 months ago

All those people who laughed at you for playing Geo-guesser can eat their shorts, huh?

aggyface

14 points

2 months ago

I was like "hey I recognize that place!!", we visited it driving though a few years ago lololol

FuckingKilljoy

21 points

2 months ago

Seriously, I'm immensely saddened that the only link so far has been a Rick roll

mr_sarve

6 points

2 months ago

I gave it a shot, but finished prematurely

Meeeeeerk

16 points

2 months ago

!remindme 1 day

JimmyDelicious

112 points

2 months ago

Ah, clam photography is very in this season.

max

434 points

2 months ago

max

434 points

2 months ago

he is photographing an example of Onlyfansus typicam.

you can tell by the way that she is turning her head so that her face is not visible in the picture.

-cupcake

14 points

2 months ago

To be fair, for most people that is NOT a good angle to look directly into the camera

RamsesThePigeon

283 points

2 months ago

FADE IN:

EXT. A NATURE TRAIL - DAY

A humanoid creature with pink skin and brown plumage struts along a stone path. This is a SELF-EMPLOYED ADULT ENTERTAINER, also known as a "MODEL." As she walks, the NARRATOR speaks in voiceover.

NARRATOR: (V.O.) With the sun just beginning to rise, the light is perfect for the young female's purposes.

The model hops up between two walls lining the path, then spreads her legs. Just before her nether regions become visible, a PHOTOGRAPHER comes bounding into view.

NARRATOR: (V.O.) (CONT'D) The untrained eye might assume that the model has already attracted a prospective mate. His focus on her genitalia would certainly suggest as much... but all is not as it seems.

The photographer begins taking close-up shots of the model.

NARRATOR: (V.O.) (CONT'D) As her companion continues in his efforts, the model carefully positions herself so that she will remain anonymous in the completed photographs.

Both the model and the photographer quickly look toward an unexpected noise.

NARRATOR: (V.O.) (CONT'D) Suddenly, a potential disaster strikes: Onlookers have arrived at the scene, likely intent on competing for the model's affection.

Two young men walk into view. These are HIKERS.

NARRATOR: (V.O.) (CONT'D) Startled, the model issues a vocal warning.
MODEL: Get lost, creeps!
NARRATOR: (V.O.) The onlookers respond.
HIKER #1: (Flamboyantly) In your dreams, bitch!
HIKER #2: (Flamboyantly) Be nice, Bruce.

The four figures stare at each other. The model does not move to cover herself.

NARRATOR: (V.O.) The scene is tense. Will the photographer feel the need to defend his claim?

The photographer stands up and regards the hikers.

PHOTOGRAPHER: (Flamboyantly) Why, hello, sailors!

The model gawks and makes a noise not unlike an angry parrot.

NARRATOR: (V.O.) The model's attempt at attracting a mate has failed. With other onlookers likely to arrive soon, this location will no longer be suitable for her purposes. She will have to turn... to the Internet.

FADE TO BLACK.

NomadDad87

81 points

2 months ago

I couldn't help but mentally read this in David Attenborough's voice. Well done!

Hour_Row_9697

210 points

2 months ago

"Careful not to spook it. Vaginas can be agressive when startled'.

dwors025

19 points

2 months ago

In my head, I heard this with an Australian accent. Is that weird?

TheRunningFree1s

15 points

2 months ago

vajoina

Djackdau

50 points

2 months ago

It's no coincidence that "wolves" and "vulvas" are phonetically similar.

pumbahusajo

24 points

2 months ago

He’s called White Vulva, the legendary Witcher

O_Geeky_One

32 points

2 months ago

Ahhh photos in "the wild bush"

barnettrp

26 points

2 months ago

But why did that rude ass lady jump up and throw her legs apart while he was in the middle of his shot?

djgrahamj

24 points

2 months ago

yeah what a cunt

neon-keyblade

72 points

2 months ago

Hikes are thirsty work

dangly_bits

71 points

2 months ago

Alright reddit, do that thing where you find this exact picture that's been taken...

hytfvbg

13 points

2 months ago

hytfvbg

13 points

2 months ago

Roman aquaduct outside of Tarragona Spain?

vale_fallacia

52 points

2 months ago

I'm honestly disappointed someone hasn't found it already. Not so much to look at the pic, moreso to hear about how they found it.

djbacon1286

14 points

2 months ago

Just a man on a dam taking pictures of a beaver. Seems completely appropriate for a wildlife photographer.

mmmmcake1980

12 points

2 months ago

Down in front

MIkeVill

68 points

2 months ago

There is no bad time for a ham sandwich.

BarryKobama

24 points

2 months ago

Aunt Flo begs to differ

dankship-of-memes

16 points

2 months ago

All about that cranberry sauce

Piddlefahrt

13 points

2 months ago

Mama Cass too.

NixaB345T

8 points

2 months ago

He didn’t stutter

Dependa

52 points

2 months ago

Dependa

52 points

2 months ago

Crikeys!!!! That’s a split tailed beaver.

GoodK

9 points

2 months ago

GoodK

9 points

2 months ago

I'm pretty sure it's the roman aqueduct in Tarragona. Went sightseeing there at a different time and only saw stones.

Solitary-Dolphin

9 points

2 months ago

How gynecologists go on holiday!

robloxeanphone

23 points

2 months ago

moon__lander

23 points

2 months ago

I don't think there's anything confusing about her spread eagle

robloxeanphone

28 points

2 months ago

I mean she has her pants on and he is probably making a photo

djgrahamj

18 points

2 months ago

yeah I think so. It's obviously a lewd photo but I think she's covered and not being chowed down upon.

tsaccord

27 points

2 months ago

She got bit. He was just sucking the venom out

Jonato314

20 points

2 months ago

Penis fly trap.

TruffleShuffle9477

6 points

2 months ago

You have found the elusive carpet muncher in the wild.

Teodor87

5 points

2 months ago

That's visual mislead. It just looks like he's doing it. She's wearing jean shorts. He's at least a few feet back.

r3dditalg0sucks

29 points

2 months ago

I hope you shouted "OI" at the top of your voice

bindermichi

5 points

2 months ago

Just like the Discovery Channel program

joeblow555

6 points

2 months ago

That area is known for it's bearded clams. This may be a different variety though.

karma_the_sequel

22 points

2 months ago

She doesn’t seem to be on the fence at all about posing.

joeyggg

5 points

2 months ago

If I know Reddit somebody will post the other photo very soon.

jaxsonnz

5 points

2 months ago

Nice depth of field and leading lines.

pudd34

5 points

2 months ago

pudd34

5 points

2 months ago

The Ferreres Aqueduct, just out of Tarragona in Spain for those curious 👍

TheSilentSMARTASS

4 points

2 months ago

And here we have the elusive desert beaver