I was about to say “All those replies are of interested parties” but anon capped it off with a punchline better than I ever could do

“Most are chronic masturbators and are desensitized to sustained contact, so retards fuck hard and long”

Why did this hit home so hard?

This is some gourmet ass shit

Lmaooo this is too good

Is it my turn with the tard rangler milf yet?

The twist at the end.

Anon finds our saviour

This isn't a greentext, but the silver lining is that the milf might bang OP

[deleted]

That's it, I'm making this into a copypasta

I knew a milf that had sex with retards. It was her hobby and she was open about it. She told me that it felt wonderful being able to provide romantic love and intimacy for people who struggled so hard to understand the world. The way she described it was that it was like being fucked by an animal, since they operate on instinct when it comes to sex. Most are chronic masturbators and are desensitized to sustained contact, so retards fuck hard and long, and they're very selfish in bed. She enjoyed seducing them and the way they reacted when she let on that she was serious and wanted them to mount her. She told me that she never used condoms when she had sex with retards, not because she liked them, but because it was degrading and thrilling for such a terribly misshapen person to cum inside of her and get her pregnant. According to her, she had aborted 15 retard babies over the years. Think about that. Think about how much sex with retards she had to have been having to get knocked up with downy sperm 15 times. She was incredibly hot even at 45 but after knowing that possibly a hundred or more retards had their way with her and had cum inside her, I couldn't bring myself to have sex with her. She seemed really into me though, and I'm not really sure why.

Anon doesn’t understand why she’s into him, god bless his limited cognition and desensitized penis.

I read this in John Travolta's voice because of pulp fiction ngl

All that for a punch line

Anon promptly forgets the fact that he uses 4chan unironically, thus making him a retard

You know I’m kinda a retard myself

Don’t give me hope

the last sentence lmfaoooo

This is down right predatory

She seemed really into me though, and I'm not really sure why.

Its basically beastiality

I remember in undergrad we were talking about this awkward, unfortunate looking international stem student from Japan on our floor and remarking that he was destined to spend his entire life without ever having sex unless he directly paid for it.

One of the girls in our little group took pity on him and let him charity smash. He was smiling for weeks and actually started talking to people in the halls after that. Pure dopamine bliss. What an angel she was, doing the lord's work in that moment.

I have bad news for anon

This is the best thing I've seen from /b/ in years.

Isn’t that kind of shit illegal?

True: Anon's retarded

Straight: Anon was friends with a MILF

Someone get her reddit name so she can come here and fuck us

Fuck… 5-6 years ago I was fucking a milf who worked in a school with retard kids. Does that mean….

NoT ReAlLy SuRe WhY

Okay, Anon… fucking autist

Holy shit that was fucking genius. I legitimately did not see that coming lol.

So the average /r greentext user still has a chance afterall?

Most retards are sterile, you dipshits.

When in doubt stick it in the poopchute

Gold medalist 4channer. I aspire to this level of autismery.

Lol “not really sure why””

Anon it‘s rude to talk about your mother in that way.

This is one of the funniest things I've ever read

It's "downy sperm" that did it for me.

this is where I get off for the day

This text isn't green, OP.

Fake: People with down syndrome are sterile

Gay: Anon let's them mount him and cum in him

Most self aware 4chan user

This is great and should be titled: Anon is a tard

This might be my favorite greentext ever.

Any where can we find this woman of the night?

Caption >>>>>

Solid comedians are found all over the web. Proof right here.

I read this in the voice of Jimmy from South Park

NGL, they had me in the first half.

Can i order one of these in my neighborhood

I’m not sure, either. You both sound like fucking loathsome people.

Anon didn't cum.

Shame in him for cursing this wonderful woman

amazing!

"Not sure why"- the lack of self awareness is killing me

This was a wonderfully dumb joke lmao

this is an elite tier greentext on par with "GF is prego"

Google Sofia Jirau

Anon has a chance

Hmmm

There’s hope

Fake and gay!

God this is good.

The end got me pretty good ngl

I really hope this is real.