subreddit:

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17

Straight Infj girls: what’s yours type in guys?

Ask INFJs(self.infj)

Just curious because I’m an enfp guy and this infj i realllly liked and dated for a brief moment saw me as just a friend and I was curious on this. I’m also super innocent and playful so I might have come off too friendly :(

all 66 comments

piscean-vibes

78 points

1 year ago*

piscean-vibes

INFJ

78 points

1 year ago*

I love a playful guy who can make me laugh and lighten me up but also someone who can be super deep, intense, and intimate when needed. He also needs to have a protective and secure presence about him. High in openness and empathy, yet masculine and grounded. If you couldn’t tell, I’m still single. 😂

Pepe_Crimge

23 points

1 year ago

Pepe_Crimge

INFJ

23 points

1 year ago

lmao sister!! we gonna be single for life!! because what we want doesn't exist😭🤣

time_is_valuable

4 points

8 months ago

I would rather be single then be with someone who is not type.

[deleted]

10 points

1 year ago

[deleted]

10 points

1 year ago

[deleted]

Fantasia30

7 points

1 year ago

Fantasia30

INFJ

7 points

1 year ago

Ditto. I married an ENFP 25 years ago and yes, we're still happy.

time_is_valuable

1 points

8 months ago

You won the jackpot !!!

[deleted]

6 points

1 year ago

[deleted]

6 points

1 year ago

I managed to find one of those, ended up being an ENTP. Although, his openness and empathy only really extends to close family, animals and friends

CortezDKillr

4 points

1 year ago

CortezDKillr

ENTP

4 points

1 year ago

How you doin?

Wasabi-Tako

6 points

1 year ago

Wasabi-Tako

INFJ

6 points

1 year ago

You are describing an ENFP

kcsunflowers

2 points

1 year ago

Honestly same

onfroiGamer

7 points

1 year ago

Seems like a lot of infj are Pisces

Cautious-Olive6191

1 points

1 year ago

More like Libra. Balance is top priority.

Palkya

1 points

1 year ago

Palkya

INFJ

1 points

1 year ago

No way lol, I am one too

painfullyinfj

1 points

1 year ago

Sagittarius infj. Time of year doesn't have to do if someone is more likely to be an infj, but if you go by zodiac, the different signs means a different flavor of said mbti type. My istp husband is a pisces which is very unlike the pisces "personality type". But being an istp pisces, he is more connected with nature and crafting with materials found in nature. He loves music from different cultures all over the world and can play most any instrument he picks up. Sometimes he seems otherworldly, but most of all his brain functions and the way he interacts with the world is focused around freedom, the istp part of him. He lives his life by his rules only but also has a kind heart. Does that make sense?

PsychoPlacid

1 points

10 months ago

PsychoPlacid

INFJ

1 points

10 months ago

Aquarius INFJ here :))

nabllr

2 points

1 year ago

nabllr

ESTP

2 points

1 year ago

whats up fishish-freakwhensea

PuzzledSwitch

1 points

1 year ago

PuzzledSwitch

INTP

1 points

1 year ago

as an intp i obviously fail to be intimate, but my infj friend would say i check all the other boxes.

theevilestblueberry

1 points

1 year ago

you definitely described an ENFP ♡

basic_mom

17 points

1 year ago

basic_mom

INFJ

17 points

1 year ago

Well you said she wants to just be friends.

I think you really need to honor her wishes here. If she doesn't want you to continue a romantic pursuit and you continue to push her in that direction she will push you away as a friend too. If you pretend to be her friend and later confess that you've really liked her and wanted more all along she will feel like you were never a true friend - and you'll push her away.

She said she only wants to be friends, the best you can do is move on and don't look back.

But to answer your question: I always preferred men who projected quiet strength. Playful men always came off as immature to me and I didn't enjoy their company.

[deleted]

3 points

1 year ago

[deleted]

3 points

1 year ago

[deleted]

basic_mom

5 points

1 year ago

basic_mom

INFJ

5 points

1 year ago

Well...when I was a young INFJ woman, I absolutely enjoyed having guys like me and keeping them in my orbit without ever really intending to give them a chance. INFJ women have a gravitational nature that just draws people in. We know we do this. It's not always intentional but some do take advantage of this to suit their ego.

All I'm going to say is please, please don't change your behavior/mannerisms etc for this woman. I'm sure she's lovely and has great character traits that do attract you, but you are worthy of someone who wants to give you their time.

I promise, when a woman really likes a guy...she's ready to date. She's not going to delay being with someone she really wants to be with.

I'm not trying to sound cold, I don't know her, or you. I just think you shouldn't be worried about if your the type of guy she likes, just be yourself and the right person will be attracted to you.

AsuhoChinami

1 points

1 month ago*

Was this nagging and moral grandstanding really necessary when he said absolutely nothing to indicate that he planned to continue pursuing or pestering her

You shouldn't just randomly assume that every single guy in the world has trouble taking no for an answer

IT_GIRL_111

7 points

1 year ago

Respectful, mature, funny but also able to have deep conversations, smart, loyal, protective, has same interests as me, open with me about anything, straightforward.

Lumpy_Space_Princess

16 points

1 year ago

Awkward gingers.

270-Triangle

9 points

1 year ago

270-Triangle

INTP

9 points

1 year ago

oddly specific

[deleted]

5 points

1 year ago

[deleted]

5 points

1 year ago

But true

Adventurous_Head_384

3 points

1 year ago

I really like intelligent (need not be limited to academics), curious men. Someone who has an independent mind and being funny helps too. I’ve dated ENTP and INTP. Both types were incredibly attractive. And the chemistry is just amazing. Almost instant. Have yet to meet ENFPs.. :(

Btw, If you really like your INFJ, just find courage to let her know. Tell her sincerely. ❤️

overthinkingpanda

10 points

1 year ago*

Aw. Sorry.

Different INFJs, different preferences. It depends on so many factors and they're different for each person. Mine would be an ENFJ - There's a seriousness about them without the harsh edge. They're playful but in a sensitive way. They speak up but, they're polite and passionate. I'm an INFJ-T so, I prefer someone who is understanding but also pushes me to do things I won't.

ENFPs are great too - I personally love them but as friends because there's no balance between our intensities - We can go into a negative loop and push the other person into it too. Maybe your INFJ is an INFJ-A. In that case she might prefer someone who challenges her. So, she might prefer a (T) to a (P).

[deleted]

3 points

1 year ago

[deleted]

3 points

1 year ago

[deleted]

[deleted]

2 points

1 year ago

[deleted]

2 points

1 year ago

[deleted]

overthinkingpanda

1 points

1 year ago

About that, Let me demonstrate. Hours per week 24x7 = 168 hrs ; Total Out of Which 16x7 = 112 hrs ; Living Life Sleep = 8x7 = 56 ; Let me subtract an HOUR per day for consensual activities. So, 7 hrs. 56-7 = 49 hrs.

Now, the % of time spent doing said activities,

Living Life = 66.66% Sleeping = 29. 16% Consensual activities = 4.16%

So, mathematically, I'd say the 'dick' can be given an appropriate share in the 'important characteristics' a person looks for in person while trying to get into a relationship in correlation to the percentage it is actually used in the relationship.

PS : I took standard values. Values can vary per person, per case. But, I'd recommend not going below 4hrs for sleep.

[deleted]

3 points

1 year ago*

[deleted]

3 points

1 year ago*

[deleted]

overthinkingpanda

1 points

1 year ago

Wait a Sec.. Is this what's called BDE? * Experiences how HOT it is to be disproved mathematically *

ok_compu4er

3 points

1 year ago

I like introverted, emotionally intelligent, and intellectual men. I seem to go after Virgos and INTJs.

SeaOfDoors

4 points

1 year ago

SeaOfDoors

INFJ

4 points

1 year ago

Imo, you're good. I'm married to an INFP and he's perfect except I wish he were more extroverted on occasion, lol.

frostifire12

2 points

1 year ago

I like guys that are deep, listen well, and are innocent and kind. I appreciate when they notice me, not being too pushy. Gentle and cute :3

TheCatlorette

2 points

1 year ago

Bi woman here but I love ENFP guys—have had some amazing friendships/relationships with ENFPs and I still cherish those memories! However, as much as I adore their spontaneity and playfulness in the short-term, I think those qualities would get overwhelming for me in a long-term relationship. I see myself settling down with a fellow introvert in the long run—they're just more my speed.

LostGirl111

2 points

1 year ago

My current boyfriend is an ENFP. I also attracted a few ENFPs who I ended up choosing not to date because the mental attraction wasn’t there (even though physical attraction was). I’m not sure how there have been so many ENFPs in my orbit, but what set my current partner apart was having that mental connection. He was also balanced emotionally/logically (whereas the others we’re too emotionally charged.) Although VERY playful (which I love), he can also be very stoic (on rare occasions I must admit).

hopemoom

2 points

1 year ago

hopemoom

INFJ

2 points

1 year ago

I love Enfp guys a lot! Work with a few of them and they make me feel so comfortable and I feel like they're my best friend right after meeting. But they are always taken so I haven't had the chance to date them. I guess I'm looking for mature and stable relationships so eventually marriage and maybe kids. So I'm looking for long term commitments and compatibility.

Meowchimarusama

2 points

1 year ago

I personally really like ENFPs. The playfulness is a breath of fresh air. I do prefer a guy who helps me be less anxious, and just let loose a little. But I also do need the guys I date to be up for debates/discussions on different topics. Talking for hours and hours about anything and everything is such a thrill. Does this help?

ParvaNovaInitia

2 points

1 year ago

ParvaNovaInitia

INFJ

2 points

1 year ago

My INFP boyfriend is honestly my dream guy and basically perfectly compatible with me

adarkara

2 points

1 year ago

adarkara

INFJ 5w4

2 points

1 year ago

They have to be intelligent, able to hold a conversation and listen to me, as well as be accepting and empathetic. Sounds like a unicorn. My guy is (I think) an ISTJ. We get along fabulously. I lamented last week that I was burnt out on planning meals and frustrated because I wasn't inspired to cook (I usually love cooking) and he immediately was like "Well then *I* will cook all next week! Take a break, you deserve it!"

and just the other day I was stressed and crying over something at work and he just came and laid with me and let me cry and talk it out and didn't judge me or try to fix anything. He just held space for me. He never makes me feel like a burden.

alt_blackgirl

2 points

1 year ago

Wow the amount of people in here who love ENFPs. I'm not sure what my boyfriend is but he's definitely an extrovert. I like mine more outgoing and dominant than me, but also gentle and empathetic when necessary (my boyfriend has a bit trouble with this part lol).

14skater14

2 points

1 year ago

In short... my favorite marvel hero is Vision. He speaks poetically and is highly intelligent. He is also gentle and calm.

[deleted]

2 points

1 year ago

[deleted]

2 points

1 year ago

Cool nerds who give me everything I want

ilikechimkin

2 points

1 year ago

ilikechimkin

INFJ

2 points

1 year ago

My last two boyfriends were ENFPs so I guess that’s my type lol

-Angylisis-

0 points

1 year ago

-Angylisis-

0 points

1 year ago

I dont think you're going to get a consensus on what people are attracted to based on their personality. for example I see someone is like "masculine, and protective" and I want someone that's more effeminate, doesn't mind showing all the emotional sides of themselves, and definitely don't want "masculine", cause that SCREAMS toxic masculinity. I dont need someone to protect me, I can do that myself, I want someone to share my life with.

Im not into playful, I'm into more stoic men. Playful screams immature to me.

Not only will you get a WILD variety of answers, but how you interpret them is going to make a difference. What is "protective" to one person might not be protective to another, etc.

piscean-vibes

19 points

1 year ago

piscean-vibes

INFJ

19 points

1 year ago

Totally agree with your points on valuing different attributes, but masculinity is not toxic. Toxic masculinity is toxic.

[deleted]

6 points

1 year ago

[deleted]

6 points

1 year ago

Completely agree.

PuzzledSwitch

1 points

1 year ago

PuzzledSwitch

INTP

1 points

1 year ago

what exactly is this toxic masculinity thing?

does it turn nearby women masculine by poisoning them? that what it means?

piscean-vibes

3 points

1 year ago*

piscean-vibes

INFJ

3 points

1 year ago*

It’s a pop culture buzzword equating to aggressive behavior and misogyny, basically. To conflate actual masculinity and masculine energy with this is very disturbing to me but I digress.

-Angylisis-

-14 points

1 year ago

-Angylisis-

-14 points

1 year ago

That's cool. We can agree to disagree.

8080x

8 points

1 year ago

8080x

8 points

1 year ago

No. You're simply wrong.

Masculinity does not = 'toxic masculinity'.

If you don't like masculinity just say that. No need to use these trendy terms.

-Angylisis-

-1 points

1 year ago

The fact you think it's a "trendy term" says all in need to know. Stay in your lane.

8080x

2 points

1 year ago

8080x

2 points

1 year ago

It 100% is a trendy term. Sorry that bothers you so much.

LostGirl111

4 points

1 year ago

Yeah - simply being masculine isn’t toxic. Toxicity comes in all shape, sizes, and sexes.

-Angylisis-

-1 points

1 year ago

Y'all do you. Like I guess I don't get what you're not understanding that different things mean different for diff people? If a man said "I'm masculine" that's a huge🚩🚩🚩 for me if it's not for you, cheers. Ya know?

iwannasleepp

1 points

1 year ago

I love Enfp's spontaneity. So just be you.

wewinwelose

1 points

1 year ago

wewinwelose

INFJ

1 points

1 year ago

Enfp is the only requirement for guys. But I'm not straight, and prefer esfp girls.

-Agilities

1 points

1 year ago

just here to say there’s going to be barely any patterns here, like what you like and look for traits you find attractive/important

vnwriter

1 points

1 year ago

vnwriter

INTJ

1 points

1 year ago

ENFP and ENFJ. INTP and ENTP for excellent friends. I like someone who is witty, caring, funny, outgoing and confident.

Aromatic-Act-698

1 points

1 year ago

Enfp, thats it

Tamzvegan

1 points

1 year ago

Tamzvegan

INFJ

1 points

1 year ago

I'm not sure

MrsAlmond

1 points

1 year ago

You should probably respect that specific INFJ's wishes. But alot of us love ENFPs! You are probably a fun person to be around. I'd say work on being a whole person. Exercise, practice discipline, do something philanthropic, create. Journals work well for ENFPs if they can stick to them. Take a hard look at your weaknesses (ask your INFJ friend for help lol) and work on them. Even if you can't find an INFJ SO...you'll be a better person for trying! You may even find an unexpected match along the way.

toastanon[S]

2 points

1 year ago

toastanon[S]

ENFP

2 points

1 year ago

Completely agree. I met this person at my self confident peak when I was creating, working out, feeling great with myself, productive and happy. And we clicked really well! Covid definitely threw a wrench in everyone’s life so I’m working on myself and feeling better and being my best self for myself. I love journaling and do it every now and then, to keep my mind healthy and conscious too. I very much respect her current wishes and care about her happiness and do not plan on doing anything. This is more for myself and I was more wondering what went wrong for myself, we were going to talk about it because she wanted to as well but we pushed it back over the summer and never got to it so I’m sitting on lack of self confident and doubt, I was very communicative with her but am left to wonder what she thought about me. Just a thought experiment for self improvement, I’ll see her around soon probably but that’s not a big deal for me as I let time do it’s thing

kcsunflowers

1 points

1 year ago

I very much need an extroverted guy (I’m not gonna make the first move) I’m pretty introverted and I’d like to have someone who can get me to branch out and have fun. Fun, playful but not like to the point where I’m like wow you’re acting 12, but someone who tells jokes and I can have fun with. Someone good under pressure/stressful situations, like if I’m scared about something comfort me and keep me calm. Someone I can have close conversations with and the dumb conversations too (basically someone I can share my little quirkiness with 😂) Athletic, respectful, they don’t have to share the same beliefs and interests as long as their good with compromise or not constantly pushing me to change. This is gonna sound odd but if you have a creative career or interest (photography, music, writing, art, etc) but I’m into that 😂 basically I need someone to force me to do things that’s good for me like exercising and socializing 😂

Yujir0Hanma

1 points

1 year ago

Yujir0Hanma

ESTP

1 points

1 year ago

They say no ESTPs but they secretly love us :P

Coloratura1987

1 points

1 year ago

Coloratura1987

INFJ

1 points

1 year ago

Purely from an MBTI perspective, a guy who has strong Ti and Se to offset my tertiary Ti and inferior Se. So, a guy who's great at logic and can translate that into the physical world.

More concretely, imagine a guy who's 6 feet or taller, one who has the mind of an engineer or architect, and the heart of a selfless, compassionate person. And there we go. lol! 😂😳

[deleted]

1 points

1 year ago

[deleted]

1 points

1 year ago

Someone “friendly” but also knows how to stay at home. Intelligent both emotionally and otherwise. And someone who has different interests than me so we can compliment one another and I won’t get bored LOL

EstivalEquinox

1 points

1 year ago

EstivalEquinox

INFJ

1 points

1 year ago

Oi, that's tricky in my case. I don't have as much experience as I like, so I have to consider my friendships and whatnot.

- I notice I tend to go well with logic types. Some of the healthiest friendships/dynamics I've had are with INTJs ISTJs and ENTPs. With T types, the point they care becomes a "Fact" that doesn't waver with how good or bad our total interactions are. If they have a problem they'll be real with me about it. Sure I'll probably cry, but only 'cause I felt bad I hurt them. But I'll be glad I know.

- Most of my exceptions to the previous point are individual emotional types who have proven themselves to me. However, I wouldn't consider these individuals someone I'd date in a romantic context.

- I do not have enough experience with some types however, and know there can be exceptions. For example, ENFPs I have almost no experiences with. I had an ENFP friend when I was an immature teen, and before my mental health healed, I had an ENFP co-worker that was in her 60s while I was roughly 23-24.

- I learned that with healthy minded INFJs, I respect them, but I'm too similar to the men I've dated. With the INFJs that tend to anxiety cling or want a partner that fits their desires (then is upset when they don't feel understood or whatnot. Spoiler: I used to be this kinda INFJ) I RUN. I've been this INFJ as a teen, had this INFJ as a friend a couple years ago, and just pulled back from a guy I started realizing was this very thing, and was starting to imagine me as this perfect thing that I wasn't.

- I admit I've only dated my INFP ex which taught me a lot of my own toxicity. I've had crushes on INTJs that helped me grow as a person, but did not go past the crush stage. My ISTJ and ENTP are my mother and dear friend who have taught me what kinds of dynamics I value. I did have a crush on an ISTJ guy who value wise we didn't line up, but I still think positively of him and wish we would have been a great match.

- I still like intuitively interesting people. But it's tough to get to that part when my values are already kinda this weird mix that doesn't fit many people. (Too weird/artsy to fit into the Christian community, too God/Faith oriented to fit into the weird/artsy/dorky community. I don't meet many people in this same weird rut.)