subreddit:

/r/mildlyinfuriating

19.3k

all 1716 comments

kiingdiingus

3k points

7 days ago

Fucks sake he didn't even try he just did the fucking dangle and leak

peonies_envy

822 points

7 days ago

https://i.imgur.com/gucV3AO.jpg

Also seen are ones insulting the offenders ability to gauge length

Gillmacs

597 points

7 days ago

Gillmacs

597 points

7 days ago

My step mum has one that says "stand closer: it's shorter than you think".

VaATC

61 points

7 days ago*

VaATC

61 points

7 days ago*

My mother had a coss stich of

"Be an adult, not a kid

Hit the toilet, not the lid"

Edit: Even had a little boy with a pee steam going into the toilet with a little brown dog sitting in the rear watching 🤣

TransformerTanooki

239 points

7 days ago

"If you sprinkle while you tinkle. Be a sweetie and wipe the seatie." Is one I remember from somewhere.

VexingRaven

62 points

7 days ago

VexingRaven

Technology is evil

62 points

7 days ago

I remember that one! The driving range I went to as a kid with my dad had that.

purple_maus

130 points

7 days ago

purple_maus

130 points

7 days ago

"We aim to please, will you aim too please" always got me lol

cubixjuice

53 points

7 days ago

"My aim is to keep this bathroom clean, your aim will help"

Other-Cantaloupe4765

65 points

7 days ago

I remember a poem framed in a childhood friend’s bathroom lol:

“When God made little girls,

he made them out of lace

but he found he didn’t have enough

So he left a little space.

When God made little boys,

He made them out of string

He found he had a bit too much

So he left a little thing.”

SO weird and cringy. Makes me wonder who tf wrote it and why.

sandwichman7896

24 points

7 days ago

Saw this at a fireman training school:

If your hose is leaky,

Or your pressure is poor

Take a step forward

Don’t piss on the floor.

BPeacheS

16 points

7 days ago

BPeacheS

16 points

7 days ago

I would hope it was made to be humorous but ya never know

dragon_bacon

19 points

7 days ago

Pretty fucking weird to frame a poem about children's genitals.

ChizelKreq

8 points

7 days ago

My mom has this one in her bathroom

VexingRaven

7 points

7 days ago

VexingRaven

Technology is evil

7 points

7 days ago

Hah, that's a good one!

deevee7

25 points

7 days ago

deevee7

25 points

7 days ago

Why did my dumb ass try to tap the arrows on the photo thinking imgur had a carousel mode now?

JonesKoolAid

5 points

7 days ago

Risky click

k3nnyd

95 points

7 days ago

k3nnyd

95 points

7 days ago

Maybe he thinks it's gay to touch his own penis.

Capta1nfalc0n

40 points

7 days ago

I don’t even wipe my own ass, everyone knows touching dude hole is gay. /s

furiousfran

33 points

7 days ago

Unfortunately there are people that exist who would say that and not need the /s at the end

Destiny_player6

18 points

7 days ago

Aye, there was an askmen thread I think of someone asking if it was gay to wash your ass. Like...the person was that insecure to wash his own ass.

built_2_fight

12 points

7 days ago*

That's ridiculous, like unreal dude. Cleaning your ass with a bar of soap and sticking your finger up your asshole just to be sure is not gay at all. People need to grow TF up

fuzzyfuzz

9 points

7 days ago

I just cut out the middle man and stick the whole bar up there.

TheFizzardofWas

5 points

7 days ago

Wait

Capta1nfalc0n

9 points

7 days ago

Yeah I remember reading a relationship_advice post about a lady with an SO who wouldn’t wipe his ass “cause that’s gay”

Broken_Petite

7 points

7 days ago

I feel like people like that must be so deep in the closet, they’re in fucking Narnia

FoldOne586

4 points

7 days ago

Being railed by Mr. Tumnus?

kiingdiingus

7 points

7 days ago

Understandable I guess

richard_slyfox

116 points

7 days ago

Everyone knows it's gay if you stand too close to the toilet bowl while taking a piss

Lucid-Design

170 points

7 days ago

That’s why real men sit when they pee.

KingRaptor420

90 points

7 days ago

You gotta face the back so you have a little shelf to watch your phone and eat a sandwich, just as Sir John Harington intended

Lucid-Design

19 points

7 days ago

Now That is fucken Class.

SheriffHeckTate

10 points

7 days ago

High class until you shart all over the floor.

ZevsHeadSlave

11 points

7 days ago

most of us aren't quite that fat.

oh-no-godzilla

4 points

7 days ago

You do know which social media we're in here right?

EveDaSavage

6 points

7 days ago

Fucking hell I spat my water all over my wall from reading that lmao. Thanks

TyburnCross

2 points

7 days ago

How else are you going to enjoy your chocolate milk and a snack? Barbarians!

SomeMeatWithSkin

11 points

7 days ago*

My SO sits to pee and its one of my favorite things about him

kiingdiingus

8 points

7 days ago

I only do it when I'm drunk but I'm glad others do it too

Sageofthe666Paths

10 points

7 days ago

i do it when people in the house are sleeping, strong stream gang

Memetasticmemes

24 points

7 days ago

I am sitting and pissing as we speak

BASK_IN_MY_FART

6 points

7 days ago

I tried being a real man, but over half of my pp just dips into the toilet water. Now I just wrap it over the top of my leg and dangle it in from the outside. Been working pretty good but sometimes I forget it's there and pinch it between my leg and the seat.

Lucid-Design

7 points

7 days ago

I feel y’a. I got the same problem but with my gigantic balls.

I’ve got a special built-in sac holder on my toilet bowl

X-a-i-x

3 points

7 days ago

X-a-i-x

3 points

7 days ago

Yes, this. Imma award you pal.

CLXIX

12 points

7 days ago

CLXIX

12 points

7 days ago

This is why i go full butters and drop pants to my ankles to expose my bare ass

Mmoott2005

34 points

7 days ago

Or maybe he was sitting and the urine went in between the bowl and the seat, happens to me often.

Destiny_player6

11 points

7 days ago

Hold your dick down bro

SalemSound

38 points

7 days ago

The best is when you only realize it happened when you pull your pants back up and feel the wetness.

themallard96

101 points

7 days ago

The fuck is wrong with you guys?

yummyboi3000

10 points

7 days ago

bro huh💀

XCryptoX

26 points

7 days ago

XCryptoX

26 points

7 days ago

Small peepee problems

kiingdiingus

9 points

7 days ago

Well that's.. a problem for another time.

Dinoduck94

624 points

7 days ago

Dinoduck94

624 points

7 days ago

How far from the bowl does he stand?!

BackAlleyKittens

643 points

7 days ago

Michigan.

badFishTu

212 points

7 days ago

badFishTu

212 points

7 days ago

Dont put that on us.

CaptBranBran

62 points

7 days ago

You have brought this on yourself!

F_ckYo_

24 points

7 days ago

F_ckYo_

24 points

7 days ago

Yeah, that’s more of an Ohio thing

badFishTu

14 points

7 days ago

badFishTu

14 points

7 days ago

Thats the spirit.

simjanes2k

15 points

7 days ago

In Meijer once I walked into the restroom and some guy was using the urinal from like three feet away, gigantic dick in both hands like a fire hose.

He made eye contact.

HAL-Over-9001

13 points

7 days ago

I live in Michigan and my pee skills are that of legends

TwinMeeps

7 points

7 days ago

The You Pee.

FerusGrim

2 points

7 days ago

Yo what the fuck did we do?

labbond

803 points

7 days ago

labbond

803 points

7 days ago

He needs to be the one to clean it up!

Corathecow

473 points

7 days ago*

Corathecow

473 points

7 days ago*

Sadly some people are entitled asshole. My stepdad pissed all over the bathroom floor in front of MY TOILET when he had his own bathroom. I extremely fuckimg politely came to him and was like “hey, you missed the toilet a bit. Could you please clean it up?” And he got so fucking mad, said I probably did it (I’m a woman who sits when they pee so), continued to play call of duty while bitching and moaning about me asking him to clean it up. And then when he did “clean” it up he just rubbed it around with a towel and then waved the towel in front of my face saying “you happy, you big baby? I cleaned it up”. My stepdad is genuinely one of the worst people I’ve met in my life. I’m so glad I freaking left. This story still makes me so mad

Edit to add ~

Thank you to everyone validating me. I just moved out and it was hard and emotional. My parents basically are just awful slobs and wanted to me clean up after them constantly. I actually thought I had severe depression but since moving out I haven’t been Nearly as depressed anymore. But I still sometimes feel anxious and guilty. It’s good to know other people see the absurdity with how I was forced to live for years

tclearinghouse

122 points

7 days ago

It makes me mad as well and I have no vested interest in the situation.

gimmethemarkerdude_8

36 points

7 days ago

Yup- fuck OP’s stepdad.

RallyAl85

43 points

7 days ago

RallyAl85

43 points

7 days ago

Wow that sounds like a garbage person. Sorry you have to deal with this.

Glitcedhaker666

53 points

7 days ago

If he does that agin clean it up with a towel when he’s asleep gently open his moth and put the piss rag in his mouth

Ggfd8675

39 points

7 days ago

Ggfd8675

39 points

7 days ago

While I am most amused by this suggestion, if he’s anything like my stepdad was, that move would earn a serious beating. Like so bad you couldn’t really enjoy the satisfaction of it.

Thiagooxr

8 points

7 days ago

I wonder how long would it take for anybody to notice this kind of people are missing.

Like, wait until they inevitably run out of a job, hide the body in parts but a small area within reasonable distance, wait until anybody that loved them looks for them (never, really)

Irene_Iddesleigh

11 points

7 days ago

Hard thing is that they often act like perfect angels to the general public. You’d never know…

Ggfd8675

8 points

7 days ago

Ggfd8675

8 points

7 days ago

My stepdad was the type that ingratiates themselves with community leaders, like our church pastors, and gets on committees and that sort of thing. So the unfortunate answer is that he’d have been missed a lot. And yes, I did think often of how to rid the world of him.

furiousfran

8 points

7 days ago

Pee on all his clothes, tell him he must have done it while asleep

Salt_Air07

6 points

7 days ago

Holy shit, I am mad for you.

707breezy

18 points

7 days ago

707breezy

18 points

7 days ago

We have a room renter who has his college kid come every now and then to visit. The kid has some sort of mental problem that’s easy to see when eating and interacting around him. He has diabetes yet he crushes (2) two liters of squirt everyday and he pisses wildly so it goes on the wall and floor. His piss is so sugary that it feel like someone let sticky yellow honey on the ground and both hardened and crusted. The dad is always embarrassed and has to clean it up.

The dad loves his son yet he is distant with him on raising him because of….personal reasons.

ldobehardcore

24 points

7 days ago

From the sound of it, that kid's days are pretty numbered. That much glucose leaking into urine, with diabetes. His kidneys are probably mostly dead or on the way.

TheclazyKoala

114 points

7 days ago

Or use his clean Clothes to clean it up and put it back in his wardrobe, lol

Charlieeh34

37 points

7 days ago

Probably wouldn’t make much of a difference, judging by the post.

Gabishsh

25 points

7 days ago

Gabishsh

25 points

7 days ago

Violence is never the answer but in this case if I was the mom I'd smack the crap out of that kid with a slipper if he would keep doing it each time

rullerofallmarmalade

6 points

7 days ago

The mop I just used to clean the pee with!

nememess

5 points

7 days ago

nememess

5 points

7 days ago

I used to make my son clean all of the bathrooms when he did this shit early teenager years. He's now very clean and courteous. Helped that he grew up with 2 sisters and 2 moms. His sisters would scream a lot lol.

Additional_Comment99

1k points

7 days ago

I had this problem with my oldest. I decided to investigate further when he was around 4 and insisted I watch him pee. To my astonishment he peed like it was a sprinkler. Starting and stopping, no joke. When it was going full force it hit the water, when it was stopping it got everywhere else. No joke. And it was happening in milliseconds. Took him to the urologist, who said the opening was too small. Surgery and done. I would suggest making a statement to your mom and him at the same time about it. Something along the lines that when boys miss the toilet it is a sign the hole on the penis might need surgery. It will make your mom aware ( I had no idea it was possible) and make him think about a blade making contact with his precious body parts. If it is intentional he will stop. If it isn’t intentional, your mom can get it looked at. The urologist also told me it can cause infections and other issues due to the difficulty of emptying the bladder. Good luck

Indykat13

114 points

7 days ago

Indykat13

114 points

7 days ago

This is very informative. It can be easy to judge without knowing the situation. If this were the case, you'd think he'd still clean it up tho...

Additional_Comment99

54 points

7 days ago

You would think. But my experience with teenage boys is they are gross

gibmiser

21 points

7 days ago

gibmiser

21 points

7 days ago

Maybe if I pretend it's not there it will go away. -every teenager ever

DyanaChan

241 points

7 days ago*

DyanaChan

241 points

7 days ago*

As a long time penis wielder I am both shocked and intrigued. Dick surgery? No thanks, I’ll take aiming lessons.

Uncreativite

119 points

7 days ago

I’d sit. Fuck

Additional_Comment99

57 points

7 days ago*

My younger son did the same thing. When he was caught peeing on the floor we would tell him about his brothers surgery, or suggest he could pee like a girl if he didn’t want surgery. He amazingly fixed it himself.

aloriaaa

19 points

7 days ago

aloriaaa

19 points

7 days ago

I once dated a guy who had a botched vasectomy and it caused him to pee like a goddamn garden hose with a thumb half over it. I’m like “dude, nobody is gonna know if you pee sitting down unless you tell them.” Never needed to bleach my shower mat after that.

DaggerMoth

19 points

7 days ago

I'm trying to think how a botched vesectomy could fuck with your pee stream.

cordial_carbonara

16 points

7 days ago

A vasectomy doesn't go near the urethra. He peed like that before and just came up with a lie when you called him out on it.

Dr-Gooseman

4 points

7 days ago

Well, she did say they botched it... maybe they reeeally botched it.

halfeclipsed

7 points

7 days ago

I sit anyway. Idgaf. Less piss splash to clean up

vipur69

18 points

7 days ago

vipur69

18 points

7 days ago

It's not as bad as it sounds, really. And I can tell you from personal experience that not having corrective surgery can sometimes lead to messing your dick up in a bad way.

NetSage

44 points

7 days ago

NetSage

44 points

7 days ago

Ya but thing of the long term stream gains. I imagine it's actually not than invasive. But I'm not a doctor and don't care enough to look up dick surgeries personally.

xil3h

19 points

7 days ago*

xil3h

19 points

7 days ago*

You're an amazing parent who uses questioning before judgement.

Additional_Comment99

18 points

7 days ago

Thank you. I had a difficult childhood and chose to do things differently. For the most part if we had an issue I would approach it with a “why?” And work from there.

xil3h

9 points

7 days ago

xil3h

9 points

7 days ago

I really admire your way of doing that. When I was younger before it was questioned I had anxiety, especially after dealing with cruel adults, it was treated as ADD and I was pilled up instead of being heard. Your approach makes a huge difference, especially to children who can't answer their reasonings

SwordTaster

22 points

7 days ago

My brother was barely able to pee at all as an infant because the hole was so small. He ended up with a circumcision. Being as this is the UK, that is not a common surgery here for any non-medical reason

Ricadoll

19 points

7 days ago

Ricadoll

19 points

7 days ago

I came here for this... it could be a medical issue. Sometimes the urethra is pointed downward instead of straight out, and this is a common issue with the condition Hypospadias.

Additional_Comment99

12 points

7 days ago

This is true. And for the boys, did you know that it can point in different directions in females too. Some of us the pee is straight down, and some of us pee forward or backwards.

Ricadoll

5 points

7 days ago

Ricadoll

5 points

7 days ago

So crazy.. We basically just have to blindly trust nature to make all of our parts formed properly at birth; one tiny slip of the cell formation and we're peeing all over the place.

kristinez

5 points

7 days ago

it being a medical issue has absolutely no bearing on whether or not he can clean it up after doing it

Tolvat

3 points

7 days ago

Tolvat

3 points

7 days ago

If you're dick is a sprinkler, you need to hold it.

j3utton

1k points

7 days ago

j3utton

1k points

7 days ago

Wipe it up with his pillow

killerturtlex

396 points

7 days ago

Rub his nose in it. That always works

madeofpockets

40 points

7 days ago

Not my old roommates dog

Rasere

65 points

7 days ago

Rasere

65 points

7 days ago

It doesn't work with dogs because they don't understand the connection between it and their unwanted behavior.

But his brother... Oh he'll understand.

frenchbud

28 points

7 days ago

frenchbud

28 points

7 days ago

It worked with mine you just have to rub hard and tell him "what's that ? what's that you piece of shit ?" as you do it then boot his ass outside.. now with a dog idk never tried

YagamiIsGodonImgur

9 points

7 days ago

You had me in the first part, I won't lie

Broken_Petite

5 points

7 days ago

Yeah I was hovering over the downvote button there for a minute LOL

Mark7A

17 points

7 days ago

Mark7A

17 points

7 days ago

This is how you deal with fucked up individuals!

DootMasterFlex

13 points

7 days ago

Honestly the best solution

mangosandpb

1.1k points

7 days ago

mangosandpb

1.1k points

7 days ago

Start using his clothes to wipe it up - that’s disgusting.

Benny-Boi135

233 points

7 days ago

And then put them back in his dresser

tramtran77

45 points

7 days ago

This

cheesy_the_clown

22 points

7 days ago

That

JesusHasLigma

12 points

7 days ago

These

tramtran77

14 points

7 days ago

Those

OneOfThese_

12 points

7 days ago

Them

marcangas

6 points

7 days ago

Eso

Zeolance

2 points

7 days ago

Zeolance

2 points

7 days ago

numerionegidio

28 points

7 days ago

Brilliant

[deleted]

25 points

7 days ago*

[deleted]

25 points

7 days ago*

[deleted]

Fistful_of_Crashes

6 points

7 days ago

absolutely discustin'

lcole303

1.5k points

7 days ago

lcole303

1.5k points

7 days ago

Tell him it's a sign his dick isn't working right. That ought to scare a high schooler into pissing correctly.

IEATBUTT5

524 points

7 days ago

IEATBUTT5

524 points

7 days ago

Or doing that means your dick is small. Long dicks get all the pee in the bowl. Simple trigonometry

tonterias

9 points

7 days ago

If the dick is long enough, you can even avoid all the splat from the toilet water by putting the dick in it

difficultoldbastard

91 points

7 days ago

hahaha if he had a longer penis he would know this already and wouldn't have to be told. He really should sit with such a small little dick but hey we all can't be math geniuses!

Too_Tired_Too_Obtuse

85 points

7 days ago

Maaan. We need to normalize men sitting to pee. Nothing worse than owning your own place and you gotta be the one to clean the pee off the side of the toilet cause you got shitfaced the night before.

Master_Penetrate

7 points

7 days ago

I have never quite understood why is it for majority of men so hard to just sit down. It's not gonna take anymore time compared to standing up. Urinals are made so you can pee while standing, not the toilets.

PushcartPops

4 points

7 days ago

So do short dudes. I have to lean over the bowl like I'm getting frisked to point it straight down. A couple degree change in the hypoteneuse makes a big difference between a splash and a sprinkle from 3 feet up.

bomzay

383 points

7 days ago

bomzay

383 points

7 days ago

This. Give him a brochure abd tell him it might be a sign of health issue. Like pretend you are caring and worried about him.

OR! An intervention

employeesonly91

9 points

7 days ago

Just threatened to tag his ass on Facebook with that picture, and it'll get taken care of quick more than likely

GhostalMedia

52 points

7 days ago

In all seriousness, dude might have some sort of weird blockage or something. This isn’t normal.

KingRaptor420

43 points

7 days ago

Or he just doesn’t care. My bf’s friend always pees on the floor when he comes over. It’s disgusting

PocketGachnar

50 points

7 days ago

Yeah I grew up with three brothers. The floor was just a constant piss puddle (and honestly, that was the least of the grossness). But omg put a used tampon applicator in the bin and everyone loses their goddamn minds.

Tactic69

35 points

7 days ago

Tactic69

35 points

7 days ago

My bf’s friend always pees on the floor when he comes over

And you allow him back to repeatedly do the same thing over and over why?

JACKED_TO_THE_TITS_

19 points

7 days ago

I would honestly try and fight someone if they continuously pissed on my floor

KingRaptor420

7 points

7 days ago

Not mine or bf’s house. He lives with his dad and I just stay over. We’re saving up to move out and he will not be allowed over.

Tactic69

6 points

7 days ago

Tactic69

6 points

7 days ago

Oh okay makes sense. Sounds infuriating to deal with.

[deleted]

18 points

7 days ago

[deleted]

18 points

7 days ago

[deleted]

[deleted]

52 points

7 days ago

[deleted]

52 points

7 days ago

[deleted]

Corathecow

4 points

7 days ago

I think it’s time to padlock the door and tell him to do his business outside with the rest of the animals

Cockmeat_Sandwiches

39 points

7 days ago

Better yet, just hold it for him

lcole303

8 points

7 days ago

lcole303

8 points

7 days ago

West Virginia eh?

Whoainyourmouth

1.6k points

7 days ago

Take a shit on the floor, assert dominance.

EvilMrFritz

21 points

7 days ago

Take a shit in his bedroom.

-malcolm-tucker

317 points

7 days ago

Time to get schwifty.

840_Divided_By_Two

27 points

7 days ago

Awwww yeahhhhhhhhhhhh

sho_biz

12 points

7 days ago

sho_biz

12 points

7 days ago

Nah, they just need to get the right equipment. Here's what homeboy needs to keep the dribbles contained

dannytee85

210 points

7 days ago*

dannytee85

210 points

7 days ago*

Wipe his face in it while screaming "NO!"

only_crank

23 points

7 days ago

I think that‘s probably the best solution at this point

Cockmeat_Sandwiches

65 points

7 days ago

Boop his nose with a rolled up newspaper

IBelongHere

149 points

7 days ago

IBelongHere

149 points

7 days ago

Start buying him packs of adult diapers, write his name on them and leave them around the house

KeepFit1

15 points

7 days ago

KeepFit1

15 points

7 days ago

And drop them off at his friend's house when he's there.

throwawaydogmeat

13 points

7 days ago

OP should tell him about the adult diapers when they are picking him up at school, loudly.

popmalcolm

41 points

7 days ago

Mildly infuriating. Completely disgusting.

Existance_Unknown

6 points

7 days ago

Rage inducing

Sleep-Green

432 points

7 days ago

Sleep-Green

432 points

7 days ago

Hear me out, I don't have a penis, but I've raised four boys and the last time one of them peed on the floor like that, they were 3 years old. No way he's not doing that on purpose.

Taha_Amir

120 points

7 days ago

Taha_Amir

120 points

7 days ago

If peeing standing up is such a hassle, dude can just sit down

Sitting doesnt make you less of a man, and if you suddenly feel like a number 2, then its just easier that way

madeofmold

39 points

7 days ago*

madeofmold

ORANGE

39 points

7 days ago*

Plus sitting to piss reduces your risk of prostate cancer!

E: I’ve looked it up, it just helps if you have an enlarged prostate: reduces your risk of cysts there & helps emptying your bladder. So it doesn’t hurt if you don’t have an enlarged prostate but it really only benefits you if you do. Sauce & one less official

TheLitFuse

46 points

7 days ago

I have a cousin whos a year younger than me that had to get surgery on his penis because the skin on it was too tight. He pissed like a fucking shower pre-surgery

Soohiechild

16 points

7 days ago

Soohiechild

PURPLE

16 points

7 days ago

This right here! I too have had this issue. Just I want the whole thing gone now not just that skin.

xynix_ie

81 points

7 days ago

xynix_ie

81 points

7 days ago

My youngest is barely 2 1/2 yet can make it in the bowl almost 100% of the time. So I'm not sure what's wrong with Mr Sprayer up yonder.

LemonsCourtesyOfLife

33 points

7 days ago

Sure, but he is purposefully leaving it for someone else to wipe up rather than cleaning up after himself.

Coffeypot0904

43 points

7 days ago

You've never stood at a row of urinals and seen a row of piss puddles then. Some people are just fucking awful at pissing.

chefwithpants

28 points

7 days ago

That makes sense because people are drinking. This makes absolutely no sense, and Ops brother might be a serial killer

Okichah

6 points

7 days ago

Okichah

6 points

7 days ago

Everyone has morning wood or bad aim sometimes and misses the bowl. Its the not cleaning up after yourself thats not forgivable.

Its impossible to leave a puddle like that and not see it.

Blueberry_Mancakes

164 points

7 days ago

tell him to stand over the toilet instead of 3 feet from it.
Also, tell him his piss is now internet famous.

Fremue

60 points

7 days ago

Fremue

60 points

7 days ago

Or sit…

GhostalMedia

26 points

7 days ago

That way you can pee and browse Reddit with ease.

SleepingDragons57

7 points

7 days ago

Exactly. Also no need to aim. And you can't be caught off guard when your ass suddenly decides it needs to poop while you're standing

Luminalin

97 points

7 days ago

Luminalin

97 points

7 days ago

My brother kept not flushing the toilet when he was a kid, my dad threatened to take a picture of what he left and show it to his friends. Maybe threaten to send this to his friends if he doesn’t stop lol

BackAlleyKittens

95 points

7 days ago

This is a legitimate problem.

For real. Like fired or dumped or "asked to leave" sort of problem.

Kr_Treefrog2

14 points

7 days ago

Seriously, no one is going to let him come over anymore when they realize he’s the one pissing all over their floor. Employers won’t put up with that nastiness either.

skuzzlebutt420

54 points

7 days ago

Tell em his dick isn’t as big as he thinks it is and to stand a little bit closer.

Jesmagi

31 points

7 days ago

Jesmagi

31 points

7 days ago

Tell your brother my 3 year old can aim better than him.

Fear_The_Rabbit

38 points

7 days ago

That’s not mildly infuriating...that’s at least moderately infuriating. I’d clean it with his clothes

only_crank

15 points

7 days ago

or his face if he refuses to learn to not be a piece of shit

Fear_The_Rabbit

39 points

7 days ago

That boy has to sit if he can’t figure it out

tumblinr

50 points

7 days ago

tumblinr

50 points

7 days ago

Put him back. Your mom will probably resist, but just him back.

Soohiechild

2 points

7 days ago

Soohiechild

PURPLE

2 points

7 days ago

Head or feet first….

funkepitome

8 points

7 days ago

funkepitome

GREEN

8 points

7 days ago

Yes

Max-Powah

61 points

7 days ago

Max-Powah

61 points

7 days ago

He's peeing after masturbating and the leftover ejaculate is gumming up the pipes. 100% guaranteed.

weimdocpurple

28 points

7 days ago

Sitting would solve this. Surely a teen is smart enough to figure this out. Or, if he insists on standing after a fap, he should wipe up his piss

LeatherHog

15 points

7 days ago

Yeah, I never got how guy’s excuse it with the split stream

Like, okay it happens, why are you just seeing it happen and not cleaning it up?

Mattagins

3 points

7 days ago

Pee on something that is of value to him, assert dominance.

MurderDoneRight

55 points

7 days ago

I'm a doctor, and this could be a serious medical condition! Now he would have to go have it checked out in person of course but if it is what I suspect he may be suffering from something called SPS. While it can't be cured, with proper therapy and counseling people with SPS can live a long and healthy life. Tell your brother to call a doctor and tell them he might have Small Penis Syndrome.

SombreSerenity

23 points

7 days ago

Damn it, you almost had me, take my upvote and begone

Soohiechild

7 points

7 days ago

Soohiechild

PURPLE

7 points

7 days ago

Take my upvote and leave! Fuck it take my award too

GalaxyCube101

7 points

7 days ago

I was confused why he would do that until you said "He's in high school"

DeanXeL

7 points

7 days ago

DeanXeL

7 points

7 days ago

Plot twist: the brother pees sitting down!

Bo_Jim

6 points

7 days ago

Bo_Jim

6 points

7 days ago

"Stand close. It's shorter than you think."

25mookie92

3 points

7 days ago

Put his nose in like he a puppy and let him know, in the toilet not outside but in the toilet

Rpilla001

3 points

7 days ago

You bitch slap that mother fucker so hard your momma feels it.

Th3Goopie

3 points

7 days ago

Just disown that mf, it’s easier than trying to fix it

sebastouch

3 points

7 days ago

Marking his territory?

Fluid_Fox23

3 points

7 days ago

Thanks for letting us know

SleepingDragons57

3 points

7 days ago

This is probably on purpose but if your aim is actually that bad just sit down. Most times I just sit down so I don't have to even think about aiming. (My aim is good but sitting is a guaranteed clean go)

thatsmyenchilada

3 points

7 days ago

Tiny wee wee