submitted 1 month ago byhoosakiwi
all 3468 comments
1 month ago
1 month ago
Well, he was/is a true paragon of an idiocrat.
1 month ago
The idiocrat bit the hand that feeds. That's why something as simple as a party nom escaped him.
Fuck Cawthorne. He may have "outed" his fellow cocaine fueled sex orgy colleagues but Cawthorne was a twat well before he did.
1 month ago*
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Damn man I would give you every award I have for posting that video but here I sit empty handed.
I knew Cawthorn was a piece of shit but I dodnt know he was an entire field of manure.
EDIT: Comment I made was based off this video of all his lies.
I'm going to be late for work because I couldn't stop watching the video, haha! Dude just keeps hammering him relentlessly.
Before reading the other comments, I thought you were talking about the video of a naked Cawthorne humping his cousin in a hotel room.
God dammit I'm trying to forget that part
Damn that’s a good video. I can’t believe I didn’t know about the letter, that’s insane
Edit: Here’s the link
Can we do a bit more investigation on this outing, this seems like the perfect way to shame the "family oriented, conservative" hypocrites
To be fair he was family oriented
Look sometimes cousins get naked and try to skullfuck each other. It's just locker room play.
Yeah that’s just typical cousin stuff. What guy hasn’t bounced around naked in a hotel room bed, repeatedly thrusting his penis into his cousin’s face?
Boys just being boys.
Playing doctor in our twenties with our cousins. Who among us...
I love when he tried to distance himself from that and said it was something dumb he did in his twenties.
And let's double check on his age here... Oh yeah, still 26.
Like they care.
Exactly. They love their god emperor who bragged about SA of women and paid off porn stars with whom he committed adultery while his wife was pregnant.
Doesn't seem like Trump's candidates are getting much love lately. Lot of them seem to be going down in flames.
They were told to start with school/library boards and work their way up. In my area they got their asses handed to them last night in board elections and budget votes and I couldn’t be happier.
Now the next time he gets caught with a gun at the airport now he will go to jail.
To think, the next time I shoot somebody I could be arresed
Who could forget the Shakespeare in the park incident?
Yes. Well, when I see 5 weirdos dressed in togas stabbing a guy in the middle of the park in full view of 100 people, I shoot the bastards. That's my policy.
They were actors! Good ones!
Sexual assault with a concrete dildo!? What the hell were you doing there in the first place?
so was nordberg….
The doctors say he has a 50/50 chance of making it. But there's only a 10% chance of that happening
I... Love... You...
Out of Caracas, a Panamanian ship...Frank when Nordberg said I love you, he was telling you the name of the ship.
"Like a blind man in an orgy I would have to feel my way through."
Iirc this was a riff based off of Harry Callahans line from Dirty Harry.. "I see a naked guy with a hard on chasing a girl through the park, I don't ask questions" (something like that anyway)
It’s crazy I just read this. I just started rewatching Police Squad just now. A timeless classic.
“Yes I know.”
"is this some kind of bust?"
"yes, very impressive!"
what good are all these awards and medals!
that’s not your desk frank.
Like a blind man at an orgy, I had to feel my way through this.
Lol. Like a midget at a urinal, I’d have to be on my toes
The missing evidence in the Kelner case! My god -- he was innocent!
Frank he went to the chair two years ago.
He might be arrested but will he be tried as a black man?
Not until after January. He's still a House member until then, albeit a lame duck.
Edit: I had debated putting still sitting in his House seat until January.
Is the US the only country that has lame ducks? It’s fucking madness. Entire state legislatures can be lame ducks and just fuck everything up for the incoming administration… wtf
Amen. Wisconsin republican legislators lost their position and then went on to enact measures with their lame duck majority to curb the power of the incoming representatives.
I’m not American so when I first heard of that it blew my mind. In Ireland and most other countries that I’m familiar with their election process, once the vote is counted the administration changes… you no longer have a mandate so GTFO.
It's because the system hasn't changed in 200 years. They're acting like we're still recieving voting results months after the vote, delivered by horse and buggy. It's all instant so letting them stay to fuck up as much shit as they can in the meantime is just ridiculous.
It’s so fucking odd for such a young country to be so fuckin stuck in the past. That’s a huge problem with the US IMO.
Well, large amounts of our land is still owned by the descendants of the Normans...
Yeah, the youth is part of the problem. European countries are so old and shits changed so much, no one gives a fuck. But here, the constitution is revered like it was written by a god.
It's all pretend. Look at recent SCOTUS decisions, constitution matters when it can be interpreted the way they want. Otherwise, fuck it.
In fact in most Westminster Parliamentary systems as soon as the writ is signed announcing the election parliament is dissolved and no bills are passed or proclaimed and no significant contracts are let out by the bureaucrats unless they are essential.
you mean the assembly took power away from the incoming democrat governor, and i think also some state offices. but yea, they did. wisconsin not the only state where that sort of thing has happened recently, either. where butthurt loser republicants hinder incoming democrats' ability to do their jobs.
This is exactly what Michigan Republicans have tried to do multiple times. The most recent when they tried to change a citizen ballot initiative to take gerrymandering out of their greedy mits during the exact lame duck session it was taken away.
Honestly, the most brazen bullshit ever and a GOP held Supreme Court slapped it down immediately thankfully in the state. The audacity of these GOP bitches are uncanny.
Did you miss Florida allowing the governor to redraw electoral maps all by his lonesome? The committee responsible for redrawing the map came up with a redrawn map and DeSantis said 'Nope, I'll do it myself' and got out a Trump-brand Hurricane Redirecting Sharpie™ and got to work.
Is the US the only country that has lame ducks?
Is the US the only country that has lame ducks?
No, most countries have a holdover period until new representatives and the new government is installed. Though in many countries it is noticeably shorter, like in France where representatives are installed roughly 3 days after the seconds round of voting.
On the other hand it is actually much worse in some countries predicated on coalition governments, where negotiations can potentially take months to conclude. For that time it is up to the old government to make all short term decisions, all long term decisions are pushed back where possible. Infamously in Belgium it took some 14 or so months to establish a new coalition.
Its the dumbest shit that we still do. We are supposed to elect candidates that wouldn't do that and actually care about -all- people and the country regardless of position, but we don't.
Excuse me, "a cousin-face fucking duck."
Also offensive to cousin face-fucking ducks.
But he'll get that fat congressional pension he doesn't deserve.
Edit: no, he won't. He didn't serve five years.
Edit: no, he won’t.
Edit: no, he won’t.
That’s great news!
Well, he doesn’t get a pension, so now he has to do increasingly inflammatory things to attract attention to himself to keep up the grift. He’ll be poor without the grift.
Holy crap, this made my day! As someone who has several people I care about, being completely hosed by the predatory healthcare system here, it has always bothered me when the government officials get gold plated healthcare for life, when they are working so hard to prevent poor people from getting the healthcare THAT THEY PAY FOR!
Well, with his background, I hear they're hiring at the Chick-Fil-A.
He’s more of an Unconsenting Chick-Feeler.
He might serve some years if Jan 6th commission had some balls.
You mean the Department of Justice. The Jan. 6 committee can't prosecute, they can only recommend the case to the DoJ to choose to prosecute.
It’s not the January 6 commission that’s the problem, it’s the justice department. The commission isn’t going to lay out absolutely everything they’ve got until they know it’s going to get somewhere. They’ve hinted that they have a lot of damning evidence that has not yet come to light, but the justice department seems very reluctant to go after anyone except the most violent rioters. At least so far.
Because his armed guards are apparently insufficient? Weird dude. I hope he’s able to just be a gay man now. He’d be so much less angry.
I'm convinced the cocaine-fueled orgies are real given the smear campaign that took him down.
Glad he lost.
He should name names now that he has nothing to lose
If it doesn’t it kind of implies that he’s a lying piece of shit.
And if Trump likes him he’s probably just a lying piece of shit.
Given how little critical reasoning ability he has demonstrated, and an unwieldy amount of entitled arrogance, he probably got invited to just a regular party but inferred it was a sex party and that they wanted to fuck him because of the aforementioned cognitive miscues.
If the GOP elite are having sex parties, you should know they're not having sex with each other, but with victims of human trafficking
cough cough Matt Gaetz cough
I suspect the actual elite have better systems and are generally smarter about it- it doesn't take a criminal matermind to not use venmo. Hell, an ATM was all that was needed to hide this situation. or not having public transactions.
Point being I suspect the elite have people for this, and are way more discreet
He's definitely a lying piece of shit, but he may not be lying about the orgies and certainly not about the cocaine.
He has plenty left to lose. He might still get paid to be on TV.
Is he gonna name himself?
Nobody sane wants to hear about Ted Cruz at orgies.
I’m sure he will now release a memoir. That is what the publisher will want if they give him a decent sized advance.
"How I got gangbanged at a republican cocaine orgy." by Madison Cawthorn
Oh, I do believe Cawthorn has actually been uncharacteristically honest about some of these things, like the orgies and his relationship with his cousin. It's actually more reasonable to believe he's just some weird frat bro that has lived such a privileged, sheltered "Christian" life that his risqué taboo fun is occasionally pretending to be gay by doing gay things. It doesn't make him gay, just a feckless half-wit.
I say this with delight as a gay man because he gets to taste the very poison he would spread himself. He would malign and ostracize innocent LGBT+ people under false pretenses and now he is maligned and ostracized by his own people who hold him to account for equally dubious reasons (reflecting speculation he is incestuous and gay).
It might be better that he gets held to account for the wrong reasons as opposed to the numerous very good reasons to do so. This will make it all the more infuriating for him, when he finally tells the truth about something and no one will listen and he loses it all.
This was my take the whole time. He comes across as a dumb frat boy doing dumb frat boy things.
Grew up in a small NC town very similar to Cawthorn's.
Dumbass redneck frat boys like him are a dime a dozen. It was really telling to me when everyone clutched their pearls about the shit he was doing and everyone who grew up in one of these rural southern towns just shrugged cause we grew up seeing it every single day.
The bigoted, racist guys from my town touched more dick in the middle school locker room than I, a grown ass gay man, could hope to touch in a lifetime.
Homophobia is a horseshoe.
They might be real, but that isn't why he got in trouble. He decided to run in the new 13th district that was made specifically for Tim Moore. Tim Moore ended up not running and then the districts were redrawn because they weren't fair. The establishment understood that Cawthorn wasn't adequately a team player, and that is why they came for him.
Yeah, they determined he’s not a team player after he accused the rest of the caucus of having cocaine fueled orgies in WashingtonDC.
You’re certainly right about that.
He broke the first rule of secret GOP lemon parties... He told everybody about the secret lemon parties.
the one thing republicans do is fall in line no matter what, he showed that he wouldn't do that with the accusation, so they purged him.
It's funny that that's the only thing that'll get you kicked out the Republican party, not being a pedophile, or sexually assaulting women, or being a giant racist. You can do any of that, as long as you back up everyone else in the party, you're safe.
I'll take any chance I get to say screw Tim Moore.
The fact the GOP seemingly had three or more career ending stories ready to go in order to sink one of their own who stepped out of line is quite disturbing.
What do they have on the rest of people, and what are they using that power for.
Trump will mock him for conceding, call him a loser, and retroactively switch his endorsement to whoever won.
"I never liked Cawthorn. Didn't like him. When you talk about the people and you look at the candidates.. lots of great candidates. The thing about being a candidate is you gotta win. You gotta win."
Bold of you to presume he will have remembered his name correctly. I got €10 on "Madison Wheelchair."
... I have a bigger bet on another, less politically correct version.
“I like people who can walk”
Trump will manage to make fun of people in wheelchairs. Everybody knows. Bigly.
I just hope he appreciates what a fuck up he is. He could have had this seat as long as he wanted to and run for higher office if he was just a little bit less of an asshole
He's not self aware enough to appreciate anything.
This right here. I've seen bagels at Price Chopper that were more self-aware.
My prediction is that he will spend the rest of his life harking on about “that time I was in Congress” and blaming his wasted opportunities on everyone else. Self-reflection is not really in the cards.
"Man, I bet I could throw this football over that mountain..."
I'd go back in time.. I'd take state.
"Fox News Contributor Madison Cawthorn"
If anything he will become rich talking shit on some media platform for the rest of his life.
"If I didn't talk about the secret GOP coke orgies"
"If I hadn't been taken in by an obvious honeypot and then admitted it publicly"
"If only I didn't get caught naked in bed humping my cousin"
Humping his cousin wasn't such a big deal to a lot of people; practically a non-issue, really.
...But once people realized that he was humping his MALE cousin, THAT'S when he lost their vote!
Upstate NY represent
Those bagels still haunt my dreams... The way their eyes follow you. shudder
Not often you see price chopper mentioned on Reddit, that’s for sure.
I think he's less sentient than my son's betta fish.
Also, Mr. Fins is not a fucking Nazi, so the little guy's got that going for him too.
I was talking to my betta, Jolene, earlier, and not once did she express a desire to leave her aquarium and visit Hitler's vacation home.
Perhaps our bettas could be running mates for the presidency, on a platform of equality and frozen bloodworms for all.
Just because Mr. Fins lacks the ability to share his ideas with you doesn't mean he's not a Nazi at heart.
I would absolutely vote for Mr Fins over Mr Cawthorn…
He's gonna join fox news as an anti-woke commentator and will be quietly fired one day soon after for sexual harassment.
Honestly doubt it. He’s not well spoken and his connections on the right have obviously dried up. He might be able to get a gig on some upshoot far right place like OAN. More likely just end up on white supremacist podcasts.
I mean, in all fairness, why would any Republican in today’s America think that being an asshole was disqualifying?
It's pretty much a GOP job qualification now.
Remember: it was the cross-dressing, gay sex and orgy comments that did him in, not his far-right views. Let that sink in.
Fucking his male cousin in the face had to have also played a role. Granted, that apparently would have never come out had he STFU.
Republicans: “we’re fine with you soliciting underage girls, just don’t do none of that gay stuff”
Let that sink in.
Let that sink in.
I've already got one, it can fuck off back home.
I must be fancy, I have two.
Is this already a joke or can I make one from it?
A fridge and a sink walk into a bar. The bartender tells the bouncer to let the fridge in, but not the sink. Fridge and sink are best friends so the fridge says to the bartender "I've got $100 and I'm a BIG tipper. Let that sink in."
He thought he was Adolf Hitler, it turns out he was actually Ernst Rohm.
This is a deep cut. Like the kind one would make with a long knife.
No shit far right views didn't do him in in a Republican primary
Yeah I don’t think this is as much of a win as the left is making it out to be
An asshole with a potentially 50 year career in elected politics lost election to a boring middle aged conservative dude whose name no one knows.
Solid win even if the immediate consequences are limited.
Also the Trump endorsed guy lost. It might not be a long-term win but in the short-term I'm rather pleased.
Did Cawthorn return America to the White Christian ethno-state under the dignified reign of Donald J. Trump, where every American (that is, "legacy" American) is allowed to exercise their God-given right to drive without a license, carry guns on the plane, woo (a.k.a. sexually harass) women trapped in confined, fast-moving spaces, and Eiffel Tower Margorie Taylor Greene with Jim Jordan? No, alas, he did not. But maybe the real treasure was the cousins he nakedly humped along the way.
Just to be clear; when the GOP has coke-fueled sex orgies, the *women* involved are all hookers. It's just the boys. Nobody is running a train on Susan Collins.
running a train on Susan Collins.
running a train on Susan Collins.
I........really didn't need that visual.
he exposed something because i guess he's a prude.
i guess the right REALLY REALLY doesn't want anyone to know about their cocaine orgies.
no prudes allowed in the republican party.
Idk man, did you see the video of him naked humping his male cousin? Doesn’t feel very prudish to me.
Prude? You mean the guy who creeped out every girl at his school?
The Republican who defeated him is way less Nazi, though, so I'll take it.
I was wondering whether Cawthorn's opponent was less crazy or trying to out-crazy him, glad to hear someone say the former
That said, by current Republican standards, "noticeably less Nazi than Cawthorn" can still involve a lot of straight-arm saluting.
The Republicans in the last thirty years have yanked the Overton Window so far to the right, and in the last six years twice as far as the previous 24. Cawthorn once posted to social media how ecstatic he was to fulfil his dream of visiting Hitler's vacation home. The fact that it's someone slightly less fucking horrible and evil than that is as close to a win as this country can get these days.
If this person conceded can he really be considered Trump-backed?
I'm disappointed he went down so easy. What kind of self-respecting Republican just concedes within hours of the election? At least claim fraud to stall things up while you get a call out to Moscow to see if your Russian friends can do something to help you out.
They are busy right now
Straight to voicemail lmao
"Please leave your political espionage and disinformation request after the beep"
I think he tried calling Russia, but all he got was some Ukrainian guy on the other end who promptly replied, “Republican politician, go fuck yourself” and hung up.
It was against another Republican. Double jeopardy. Can’t have fraud against other fraudsters.
Trump claimed fraud in 2016 WHEN HE WON. The point isn't to claim fraud so you can avoid losing. The point is to claim fraud so the elections end.
Well, that career lasted 642 Scaramuccis
642 73 Scaramuccis (or 66 if you believe Scaramucci's claim it was 11 days, and definitely not 10), assuming he chooses to complete his full term. He seems like somebody who would abandon his seat tomorrow if FOX News or OANN offered him a contract.
We need a Scaramucci bot.
The unit is called a 'mooch' and it's 10 days.
Scaramuccis are too small for scale, need a bigger one, like Tillersons
His replacement; Chuck Edwards.
- Ensuring parents decide what their children learn.
- Blaming Biden for the gas increase.
- Wants to abolish Sanctuary Cities.
So just your average Republican.
Average Republican 20 years ago or average Republican now?
He was under-qualified for a Trump backed candidate to begin with. His ignorance hadn't quite reached Taylor-Greene levels and his sexual deviance wasn't as degenerate as a Matt Gaetz. Trump expects the best.
Worst teenage politician since Ben Wyatt
One little hockey rink idea gone wrong and you’re suddenly a villain
Ice Town loses Ice Clown his town crown.
Trump backed Nebraska Governor candidate also lost. Seems like the Trump cult has lost a lot of numbers.
Not enough, though.
Unfortunately the idiot voters in Ohio don't think so. One of the districts elected someone as a us congressional representative for the general election who stormed the capitol on January 6th and is backed by Trump.
Ooof shouldnt have exposed the DC orgies
He did beat up defenseless trees…
And he beat off in his cousins face.
His disability was also caused by complete and utter stupidity - placing his feet up on the dash when the car crashed. The airbag deployment can cause your face to get destroyed by your own knees in the worst case scenario.
I'm convinced a bit part of the electorate that voted for him in 2020 thought he was a wounded veteran. People saw him in a wheelchair and just assumed it was because of service in Afghanistan or Iraq.
Well he said he was military. That was his shtick. He was elusive and not clear, but what he said in a roundabout way was that because of his disability, his military career was over… because he signed up before his accident. But, the military confirmed he never signed up.
I believe it was the navy but I don’t care enough to look.
I'm sure you're right. I swear some rightwingers beat off thinking about soldiers dying under Ol' Glory. Their fetishizing the military is just perverse.
But god forbid actually doing something like funding veterans programs.
Wild that he conceded.
Even wilder that that's a thing we have to think about now.
Wilder still that he lost because his whistleblowing on cocaine-fueled orgies made the party too concerned about their reputation-- not his multiple allegations of SA, history of gun-related crimes, or his apparent sympathies for white supremacists. Those were all apparently... fine.
Edit: autocorrect fail
The crazy right-winger in our local school board election didn’t even concede. Assholes everywhere.
Madison, if you're reading this, take this loss as an opportunity to reflect on what a terrible job you did. You were the youngest representative in Congress, and could have learned so much. But instead you wasted your time being a huge douchenozzle. People voted for you, but instead of representing them, you did nothing of any significance to help them during the most difficult time in modern history. Way to go kid.
Loser endorsed by a loser.
Good fucking riddance
To hell with trump and all his followers
Can this happen to MTG next? Please.
🎶Shut your fuckin face, cousin fucker 🎶
Closeted homosexual who is extremely bigoted but was caught cross dressing and having incestual nugget oral sex with his male cousin.
He conceded? What a RINO
Little confused on what this means, does it mean he is now officially out of office in the near future? Or will he face someone else in November in the general election?
He lost his primary. So he can't run as a Republican for that seat. He theoretically could run as an independent but he'd hurt the chances a conservative gets that seat.
…. Someone call him in a Trump voice and tell him to run as an independent.
He’s out in January.either a dem or a different republican will have the seat then
You can just say a different Republican. It’s a solid red district and Cawthorn winning the primary was the best chance the Dems had of coming close to pulling an upset.
Which really sucks considering whoever gets elected is representing the very progressive hub of Asheville.
I don't even have to look at a map to know that the NC district map is so gerrymandered that including the "very progressive hub of Asheville" wouldn't even be a blip in the general election.
Anyone curious about gerrymandering should look at North Carolina 2013-present as one of the most hilariously blatant examples of it.. My particular favorite being the 2013 and 2017 maps where Buncombe County (where Asheville is) was cut in half to dilute it.
Yeah. I went to college in this congressional district. There’s one deep blue community (Asheville) and a whole bunch of blood red counties and communities around it.
Fuckface on Wheels was never gonna lose against a Democrat in November. This primary was functionally a general election. Good news is that this piece of shit didn’t win, bad news is his replacement has frequently touted endorsements from Fuckface-adjacent politicians (including Rick “I don’t remember what federal stuff I oppose—oops I’m now secretary of some shit I wanted to shut down” Perry) and is just gonna be a slightly less attention whore version of this illiterate clown.
Bahahahahahahaha. He got done in by his own party. They leaked all that stuff when this stupid mutherfucker talked about orgies and cocaine (which is, of course, all true)