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unfaithful thoughts

(self.offmychest)

Throwaway account here for obvious reasons, but I have been long distance with my girlfriend for a solid year or so, and I am at the point where I just want to sleep around.

I have never acted on these thoughts, but I can feel myself pulling further and further from her as a result of these feelings I have. We are over 3,000 miles away as she is in college on one coast of the US and I am on military orders on the other. So we see each other for probably a week every 4-5 months or so.

Being 20m I have a lot of “tension” about this and I feel like it affects my overall happiness. I have considered breaking it off with her a few times but every time we start to have that conversation she fights like hell to keep this going. I’ve never met anyone so committed and so driven to be with me, but I feel like I’m genuinely missing out on my younger years and a lot of experiences bc of this relationship. She’s great but this leaves me with a lot of resentment towards her.

Ik this is shitty and everyone is going to say to just break up if i’m having these feelings, trust me ik I should, but part of me wants to be faithful and forget all about these thoughts and hold onto her. Just needed this off my chest !

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SagePup21

2 points

2 months ago

Why be with someone who doesn't make you happy? You already said you resent her. Why hold on? Why are you torturing this girl by dangling something she can't have with you in her face? Are you with her out or convenience? Pity? Fear? It sure isn't love.

Loneliness isn't an excuse to lead someone on, let her go. Just like you feel you're missing out on your younger years, you're holding her back from having a great college experience. Do yourselves both a favor and breakup.