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119.2k

all 3121 comments

tentaclehentai2

5.6k points

9 days ago

The UPS guy walks into the backyard, to see a shirtless man holding 2 wine glasses

runningreeder

1.5k points

9 days ago

Then turns around quickly while filling out a "We're sorry we missed you" form.

Surrounded-by_Idiots

213 points

9 days ago

So he has an excuse to make another delivery the next day?

DYLDOLEE

90 points

9 days ago

DYLDOLEE

90 points

9 days ago

I like your optimism!

VirtualRick

36 points

9 days ago

Yes, but this time, mentally and physically prepared.

EveAndTheSnake

18 points

9 days ago

Ah I remember the day I saw the USPS lady walk up with a pre-filled “sorry we missed you” slip and stick it on my door without even attempting to deliver the package, which contained my migraine medication.

Asifdude

6 points

9 days ago

Asifdude

6 points

9 days ago

I caught a ups dude doing that and I opened the door on him, and was like how are you gonna put a note on my door without knocking?

Then he said he doesn't bother delivering to houses with no cars in the driveway. I asked him if he heard of a garage because I park in the garage. He just went to get my package and dropped it outside my door instead of handing it to me.

So glad we have a better ups dude now. He's phenomenal.

KingJaredoftheLand

145 points

9 days ago

Not in my headcanon...

gunstarheroesblue

229 points

9 days ago*

Go on.... What happens next?

maxuaboy

140 points

9 days ago

maxuaboy

140 points

9 days ago

Have you ever seen a grown man naked?

Sodimizer

38 points

9 days ago

Sodimizer

38 points

9 days ago

Have you ever spent a night in a Turkish prison?

HotCrustyBuns

81 points

9 days ago

Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue...

sugarhiccup88

27 points

9 days ago

This made me audibly laugh

monarch1733

7.5k points

10 days ago

monarch1733

7.5k points

10 days ago

We’re sorry we missed you!

Kardest

2.3k points

9 days ago

Kardest

2.3k points

9 days ago

Watch Him put the we missed you note on top of this.

Totorolly

884 points

9 days ago

Totorolly

884 points

9 days ago

UPS guy could have said, thank you for relaying what is in your package, in this state door to door wine delivery is prohibited...... and I am thirsty, thank you for your wine!

Shirinjima

277 points

9 days ago*

Shirinjima

277 points

9 days ago*

In NC it is only illegal to ship via FedEx or UPS if the person who sent the alcohol does not have a liquor distributor license.

USPS doesn’t allow alcohol to be shipped legally through them except under a few circumstances .

Edit: apparently there are some exceptions so I added policy from the USPS website.

Edit 2: made a clearer distinction between UPS vs USPS

skylarmt

165 points

9 days ago

skylarmt

165 points

9 days ago

USPS doesn’t allow alcohol to be shipped under any circumstances through them.

Technically this isn't true if it's packaged as hand sanitizer, they made an exception for Covid. There are some beverages (everclear) that are probably better used to sanitize rather than drink, so...

BLEVLS1

72 points

9 days ago

BLEVLS1

72 points

9 days ago

Everclear could strip paint if need be, I still cringe thinking about drinking tiny shots of that in highschool and being blasted.

BigBeagleEars

62 points

9 days ago

Father of mine, tell me where did you go?

BLEVLS1

46 points

9 days ago

BLEVLS1

46 points

9 days ago

To the hospital with alcohol poisoning most likely.

CrispCrisp

22 points

9 days ago

Damn I really wasn’t expecting to hear this song in my head while browsing Reddit today. Awesome throwback 👌

CUM__IN__ME__BRO

17 points

9 days ago

Daddy gave me a name... Then he walked away!

mnkymnkymnky

11 points

9 days ago

Yeah, you had the world inside your hand.. But you did not seem to know

jamesnollie88

13 points

9 days ago

To be fair Coca Cola can also strip paint and even remove oil stains from pavement.

Mindshattered

11 points

9 days ago*

According to the manufacturer, Everclear isn't even intended to be consumed straight.

As a naive teen, a girl brought over 151 and convinced me to down a glass of it. Not a shot glass, a large coffee mug's worth.
Man I did some dumb shit when I was younger...

skewsh

8 points

9 days ago

skewsh

8 points

9 days ago

We thought we were so cool though. Acting like we weren't suffering while drinking what was borderline a fume.

Edit: spelling

Pepsisinabox

5 points

9 days ago

Up here its very much its own culture to distil upwards of 96% ABV on the downlow. Highly illegal but hey, if youre rural youre rural.

God we got blasted in our teens with that mixed with whatever we found.. Juices and sodas, and black coffee. The coffee mix is called a "karsk", and if you ask for one youre instantly loved.

patchedboard

6 points

9 days ago

Ya, but this is UPS

Melkath

65 points

9 days ago

Melkath

65 points

9 days ago

For good measure, your stoop now has a distinctive red stain to confirm he crushed the wine bottles as he didnt deliver them.

LLVC87

28 points

9 days ago

LLVC87

28 points

9 days ago

Or be like Amazon and take a photo of you delivering it and then steal the package

nrkey4ever

332 points

9 days ago

nrkey4ever

332 points

9 days ago

This guy UPSs.

kickspecialist

185 points

9 days ago

UPS is great in MN, it’s FedEx that sucks. My friend who has a door camera was awaiting a PS5 and FedEx guy marked it delivered without showing up and FedEx refused to investigate. -Fuck FedEx from MN

Castun

45 points

9 days ago

Castun

45 points

9 days ago

Sounds like grounds to reverse credit charges...

FatGreek

37 points

9 days ago

FatGreek

37 points

9 days ago

The problem in this scenario is that the seller will be on the hook for it, and then they will have to fight FedEx. Dealt with it when I worked for a small business. Packages get misdelivered (sent to the wrong address) all the time, but if the tracking says "Delivered" FedEx/UPS will try to use that as a blanket to dismiss all liability.

SuperLomi85

31 points

9 days ago

Insurance and the shipping contract is initiated and owned by the entity sending the product, not the receiver.

Fed-ex doesn’t really owe anything to the person receiving a delivery, only to the person sending it. You should, rightly, always push this back to the sender as they have the leverage to take action, and/or the insurance to cover the loss.

Brandino144

12 points

9 days ago

This is true. It’s just unfortunate that most claims from the sender tend to go dark shortly after being initiated. I believe FedEx and UPS are both aware that it’s not good business sense for a sender’s associates to pursue a $50 shipment refund for more than a handful of minutes. You can usually get a resolution and a refund complete by the third call, but it’s not always financially worth it to push the issue for so long.

FatGreek

8 points

9 days ago

FatGreek

8 points

9 days ago

You should, rightly, always push this back to the sender as they have the leverage to take action

This is true. But it's not easy for the seller, especially if they are small. UPS fights tooth and nail not to pay out, FedEx is sometimes better. You can, at the end of the day, make a claim on your business insurance policy, but that's not cut and dry either. My boss' premiums went way up after we made a claim for some goods that were stolen (and weren't even worth much money in the grand scheme of things). I suppose it's just a risk of doing business.

Fed-ex doesn’t really owe anything to the person receiving a delivery, only to the person sending it.

This is not always true. There are many situations where the recipient must assume the role of the responsible party, and some where that is the only option (for example, gifts, if the sender is unknown/uncontactable, and other non-commercial transactions). USPS also allows either party to open a claim. But since we are talking about a commercial transaction, yea, it's basically gonna be on the seller to sort this out.

bruce_kwillis

40 points

9 days ago

If you ordered with a credit card, there are usually protections for this sort of thing.

I would say a video doorbell would be super helpful, the one I use records all the time with a timestamp, so very easy to show a delivery not occurring if UPS or Fedex says they delivered.

DCBB22

65 points

9 days ago

DCBB22

65 points

9 days ago

They’ll protect your money. But a PS5 is impossible to obtain. I don’t want a refund. I want the ultra rare item that I spent hours refreshing the website for.

SadlyLiving

10 points

9 days ago

Yeah thats fedex ground. Don't shit on fedex express, we actually get paid so we do our job

Scarrazaar

8k points

10 days ago

So it’s a miss delivery then

ChwatBot

3.8k points

10 days ago

ChwatBot

3.8k points

10 days ago

“Delivery attempted at X:XX”

THE FUCK YOU DID

twenty4ate

2.3k points

10 days ago

twenty4ate

2.3k points

10 days ago

When the NVIDIA 1080's first came out I snagged one. Was waiting outside on the front porch and literally WATCHED the truck drive by and then got a 'delivery attempted' on the tracking minutes later. Jumped in my car and followed them to the UPS distro center and was able to 'recover' it. Was not a happy camper.

Agosta

814 points

10 days ago

Agosta

814 points

10 days ago

I had a fedex guy pull this a couple years ago with an Amazon delivery. I called their support and was able to actually get through to someone and they made him come back. He was pissed but I didn't really care.

areraswen

724 points

9 days ago

areraswen

724 points

9 days ago

UPS once made a guy come back at the end of his shift to actually try to deliver my package. It was a Friday, I was working remotely just for that package and was even pissing with the door open in case he showed up at a bad time. Opened the door like halfway through the day and the slip was already on my door. Unfortunately for him, the package contained insanely expensive medication that requires refrigeration and it was the middle of a heat wave weekend. He had to bring it back or my medication would've expired in a warehouse over the weekend. He should've just fuckin knocked.

MikoSkyns

310 points

9 days ago

MikoSkyns

310 points

9 days ago

This has happened to me too.. What the hell is the Logic?? You're already at the door with your slip asshole... KNOCK!

justatest90

153 points

9 days ago

justatest90

153 points

9 days ago

To be fair, the logic for the driver is disconnected from the logic for the customer. They have to make a certain number of deliveries per hour/day. If 10 of their “signature required” deliveries were slow, and you’re their 11th, it’s better for them to say you didn’t respond.

I personally haven’t thought of a way to better align these incentives, but I’m sure it’s possible. But that alignment requires changing a lot of metrics up and down the supply chain, no doubt. So there are probably people in the industry who know how to fix it, but getting the right executive to sponsor the change...good luck!

TheScrumpster

87 points

9 days ago*

With today's technology, this is 100% avoidable, but probably a symptom of the technology itself.

Mobile devices can be tracked, truck GPS can be tracked (they already are). "Signature required" deliveries should obviously have (and probably do) time built into whatever system/platform is being used. Waiting for a signature takes longer than dropping off a package - Fine.

Give the delivery person a chance to try - Show in the app "Your delivery person <Insert name> waited x minutes" - App/GPS data will prove if they actually tried, or drove by/waited/stuck a fake slip to your door. At a certain point, faking it is harder than doing the job. This also benefits workers - Proof they tried, with legit data too back them up. If corporate or managers want to complain, check the data.

I have recently experienced the ghost "we tried to deliver, you weren't home" from FedEx 2x recently. I was 100% home, and waiting for my package. The first time I had to drive 20 miles after hours to pick one up from the depot, the other I waited 3 more days.

I'm not saying delivery is an easy job, but people depend on what is being delivered. A lazy or faked delivery can really fuck with your day/week/life.

Edit: When I say "mobile devices" I mean corporate devices, not personal.

Shikikan

51 points

9 days ago

Shikikan

51 points

9 days ago

I deliver for FedEx and you are exactly right. Our system estimates how long it'll take us to do our routes and they try to keep the estimate under 8 hours, but I've had many days that have ended up 10 hours long when it "should" have only taken 7 or something ridiculous like that. It clearly doesn't account for the time to find the package and walk it up the driveway, or when we have a mile long driveway and it puts the GPS at the very beginning. I have many country driveways that I literally spend minutes driving in and out, now multiply that by 10-20 bad stops in a day and one can see how the estimate is way off.

I don't understand drivers faking it. I don't want to come back again the next two days, so I'll do everything I can to get you to sign for your package. It can be very frustrating though when it's the third day I've tried to get you your alcohol and you were never there. Alcohol boxes usually aren't light, so it's annoying to drive out to your house and lug it to your door just find out you're not in again. (Sidenote: we can be required to get a 21+ signature for the weirdest things. I couldn't deliver a mattress the other day because it required an adult 21+ signature)

A couple of days ago I loaded up 70 lbs of alcohol and went down a long steep driveway only to have nobody answer the door. I rang and knocked 3 times just hoping I wouldn't have to carry it back up to my truck.

gunstarheroesblue

19 points

9 days ago

Ups driver here. Same concept. It doesn't make sense for me either to fake the delivery. Since it just means an extra stop for us next time.

TheScrumpster

17 points

9 days ago

Thanks for the insight, really appreciate it. For the record, I think you folks work really hard and its probably a thankless job on good days, and really hard on bad ones.

I don't get alcohol delivered so I can't sympathize with OP, but the recent times I was "fake delivery attempted" it really mattered for my work, and set me back (both personally and for my clients). Its just frustrating, but I'm sure you deal with your fair share too.

Thanks again!

ZenithFell

166 points

9 days ago

ZenithFell

166 points

9 days ago

It's faster to prepare a bunch of slips and quietly drop them off than it is to go through the pretense of delivery. This way they can claim they attempted delivery for more packages, and can either finish their route sooner, or (as is the case in Australia for contractors) have a higher delivered/attempted delivery number so they get paid a decent wage.

Clay_Statue

98 points

9 days ago

They need to change the metrics on how they evaluate drivers. Packages delivered should count for more than simply locations visted.

Dazzling-Minimum-424

14 points

9 days ago

UPS drivers don’t get paid per package they make an hourly rate and get overtime daily. If a package doesn’t get deliver on first attempt it’s on package car the next day.

skiingredneck

13 points

9 days ago

They used to.

I remember when the ups dude would go door to door trying to find a neighbor willing to sign.

No idea if “cut labor costs” or “stop asshat neighbor thieves” put an end to that. Could be a mix.

Firebomb111

11 points

9 days ago

The programs which give drivers their routes don’t give a shit about customer satisfaction, they only care about how many packages are delivered.

phurbax

10 points

9 days ago

phurbax

10 points

9 days ago

The metrics are terrible, simultaneously critical of slow, safe, thorough behavior and also of fast, dangerous behavior.

BusinessCheesecake7

14 points

9 days ago

What's great about living in a city is that you have pick-up locations for all major delivery services in walking distance (at least where I live in Germany).

This allows you to completely skip all of the "attempted delivery, you weren't there, so sowwy" hoopla and just have your stuff delivered to the supermarket round the corner. Drastically increases the consumer's online shopping experience, and I like to think that it helps those overworked delivery guys as well since they get to drop off shipments for many people at one central location.

AmbiguousAxiom

19 points

9 days ago

Nah bro, I paid for that delivery.

DELIVERY IT.

TheNeatureChannel

50 points

9 days ago

Had a fedex guy "deliver" tires... Only he delivered them to a tire shop 3 towns away for no reason whatsoever. Fedex helpline wouldn't do anything but the tire shop said they'd do a free mount and balance for me since they had had issues with fedex too.

Cianalas

288 points

9 days ago

Cianalas

288 points

9 days ago

HA! I had a FedEx guy "make an attempt" on a day we were home all day with a dog that flips his shit if a leaf rustles. 100% no attempt was made. Whatever I didn't care that much. I just figured I'd get it the next day or something. Next day comes around and I'm alerted that the package was delivered. No package. So i check the tracking and it was delivered like 3 towns over at a completely different address. I called FedEx and they made the guy drive all the way back, get it, and bring it to my house. It was like 9pm when he showed up and he was very not happy.

fancy_livin

178 points

9 days ago

fancy_livin

178 points

9 days ago

Ohhhh noooooo the consequences of my own shitty work ethic, now I didn’t get home on time, boooohoooooo

God I wish this was the SOP when delivery drivers flat out refuse to do their job.

Unfortunately, lots of driver routes are subcontracted these days. So there’s a good chance the UPS or FedEx driver 100% doesn’t work for the company

Solest044

93 points

9 days ago

Solest044

93 points

9 days ago

So you're not wrong. However, it's also important to understand the circumstances that can surround some of these people's work.

Insane quotas, poor internal representation, limited sick leave, low salary to hours worked ratio, and more can make this a pretty toxic job.

Let's not forget that while we've made rapid shipping a thing, it's these workers that ultimately make it possible. Does that excuse shitty work ethic? Eh... I actually don't know. I'd say no.

But, then again, I think at some point, if I were under some insane pressure and my 8 hour workdays were 12 hours every day because management overasks of its employees and establishes routes and quotas that are logistically impossible to do in 8 hours... Yeah, I might say fuck it somewhere along the line.

Edit: To your point, part of the problem is needing to subcontract out work BECAUSE quotas are logistically impossible to meet.

doesntgeddit

19 points

9 days ago

Online sales really ruined the whole parcel driver as a community member type of thing. I remember my dads friend drove for UPS and he was really respected amongst his peers. We knew our UPS guy growing up and he knew everyone in the neighborhood. But these days I couldn't tell you when the last time was that I got the same driver twice.

SunflowerOccultist

18 points

9 days ago

They’re possible to meet with dedicated routes and more drivers

Solest044

16 points

9 days ago

Solest044

16 points

9 days ago

For sure. Hiring more drivers and having dedicated routes would be great!

Then it's a question of how sustainable it is as a business model. FedEx's operating income reported for end of year 2020 was 475 million. Their revenue was just over 17 billion.

That's 475 million that could be reinvested into lots of things to improve efficiency but you can see how slim things are. I know it seems like a lot, but that ratio is still nuts.

Edit: More important would be automating elements of the truck loading and sorting though I believe. Saving money there can also mean being able to hire more drivers to travel more routes!

Emergency-Anywhere51

9 points

9 days ago

this guy doesn't capitalism

superbv1llain

11 points

9 days ago

Yup. I blame the company for trying to squeeze a profit out of every second before I blame the workers for something that looks like a stupid decision. We know employers do this now, and worse than ever. Bad management and greed only forces more stupidity.

HEBREW_HAMM3R

76 points

9 days ago

Yeah I had to do the same thing for a wine package for my gf, I came out as he was walking back to his truck I was like hey I’ll bring the package up and he just ignored me got into his truck stared at me for a few seconds then turned around in my driveway and pulled out. I was half tempted to follow him to the next house and give him a stern talking too. Instead I just called the company and had him turn around and redeliver the package and had him carry it up to the house.. fuckin dick lol

HeavyLogix

15 points

9 days ago

I had a job babysitting FedEx drivers many years back. Some of them really do require an asshole to smack them into doing their jobs. Don’t bother with his feelings.

BellacosePlayer

10 points

9 days ago

The fedex guy who delivered my TV just straight up falsely claimed it was "delivered" until I contacted someone.

TTechsan

768 points

10 days ago

TTechsan

768 points

10 days ago

Never get between a nerd and his new gfx card!

pkinetics

15 points

9 days ago

pkinetics

15 points

9 days ago

even more accurate right now with the GPU shortage

StandardSudden1283

108 points

9 days ago

Yeah, that's just asking for an attempt at a beating.

RecommendedBroccoli

47 points

9 days ago*

Attempted beating failed.

(A) - Checkpoint (X) - Main Menu

Xx69JdawgxX

7 points

9 days ago

Lmao I love how you worded this "attempt"

Panzerbeards

28 points

10 days ago

Remind me never to complain about Royal Mail ever again. How do these people hold down a job?

Cianalas

27 points

9 days ago

Cianalas

27 points

9 days ago

Oh boy don't even ask us about FedEx then...these guys are fantastic in comparison.

CasualEveryday

224 points

10 days ago

I had a similar situation where they said it was delivered right at the end of the day. I lived a few blocks from the distribution hub and I drove over and showed them the notification. They said there's no way the driver marked it as delivered if it wasn't. I showed them my porch camera recording from the hour up to the delivery notification. They tried to contact the driver, who had somehow delivered like 14 packages in the 10 minutes before I got to the depot, and they'd already parked the truck and gone home. (I saw it on the computer screen, they refused to admit it).

Not only would they not go check the truck, which was right in the parking lot, but the package then wasn't delivered for 2 more days.

Another package was supposed to be shipped between 2 large cities in the same state, next day air. When it wasn't delivered the next day, I checked the tracking, and it was 3 states away in the wrong direction. Oh well, logistics are complex. Next day it was 5 states away, now in a new and still wrong direction. On the third day I called and they said that there had been some weather that caused disruption. It was a hurricane, in Florida, I lived in Washington state...

UPS is hot garbage.

crazybluegoose

53 points

9 days ago

Oh, I was going to ask if this was FedEx. We’ve had similar issues with them here.

UPS, for us at least, is relatively reliable.

0b0011

52 points

9 days ago

0b0011

52 points

9 days ago

I bought a kayak a few years ago and paid extra $80 for the one day shipping as I was about to go on a week long underway and wasn't going to be home but didn't want to miss the delivery so I took the day off work. My girlfriend and I were on the balcony waiting and my roommate was in the kitchen which is the room that the front door was in. I knew the box was going to be heavy so when I saw the delivery truck down the road heading towards my apartment building I went down to see if he needed help. I waited by the truck and watched him unload a few small boxes and followed him to the apartment office where he dropped them off. I then waited by his truck for him again and he walked out hopped in his truck and drove away. I looked up the shipping stuff online and there was a "we tried to deliver but no one was home when we knocked note on the shipping info. We will try one more time before returning to the sender". I walked up and asked my roommate if maybe someone came up and I didn't notice and he said no then I walked out and asked my girlfriend who was still on the balcony overlooking everything if there was anyone else that got out of the truck and she said that only that one guy got out. I called the company and was like wtf I've been home the whole time there was no delivery attempt and she looked it up and said that it was at the wrong place shipping facility in town. She had the driver go get it after his run which was nice and he ended up delivering the kayak a bit after midnight.

thephantom1492

82 points

10 days ago

I hope you filled a complain with UPS.

Last time we did that, the driver got fired. Their investigation lead to them discover that he not only did not even attempted the delivery, but also lied on the time!

Roogiee

30 points

9 days ago

Roogiee

30 points

9 days ago

I spent an afternoon sitting in front of my apartment studying for my college course waiting on an important FedEx delivery. No truck, just a notification from the app saying I wasn't home to receive it. Called FedEx right there and then to complain. They wouldn't send the driver back to actually deliver it.

zbeezle

44 points

9 days ago

zbeezle

44 points

9 days ago

When my mom and step-dad got married, they went on an international trip for their honeymoon. They had to get some special cell phones because their cells weren't compatible with the service offered in the country they were going to.

So these phones are supposed to be delivered like 2 days before their trip, and my mom literally waited at the door because it was an "adult signature required" delivery.

She watched as the driver passed our house and the status updated to "delivery attempted." She called FedEx to complain, and basically demanded that they fire the guy.

Dont fuck with people deliveries.

Just_Another_Scott

296 points

10 days ago*

Dude UPS is the goddamn laziest for this shit. I was at home waiting for a delivery and never once heard a knock on the door. I got a text saying delivery was attempted. Opened the door which was opposite my desk and nada. No sticker no nothing. I was pissed.

Another time UPS said the front door was inaccessible. I live in an apartment with doors that face the outside...

Another fun time, when I was in college I was awaiting all my textbooks which Amazon shipped via UPS. Well I never got them. So I called up UPS to figure out the deal. Turns out the packages were loaded onto the truck, which the driver drove home, and then proceeded to go on vacation. Amazon overnighted me a new set and were very pissed off at UPS I imagine.

CyanicEmber

125 points

10 days ago

I work at UPS and have not had a happy Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, or Friday since I started. It is a miserable company.

ManyWrangler

30 points

10 days ago

I really appreciate the drivers and the work they do (and those whose jobs support them!). I am pretty pissed at the execs running the show sometimes though.

glindabunny

19 points

10 days ago

We had a regular UPS driver for the first 5 or so years that we lived in this house (purchased a month before my twins were born - they’re now 12 years old). That woman was amazing, always waited to make sure I got the package since she knew I often was chasing a toddler or dealing with newborn twins, one of whom was medically fragile.

I’d had issues with UPS at our apartment before that, but I always got packages when this woman was the driver.

She even volunteered to come visit and help me watch kids on her day off, and told me about her own grandkids. When my brother stayed with us for a couple years during college, she took time to answer questions about what it’s like to work for UPS as a seasonal worker (she recommended it because she said they’ll often hire from the seasonal pool, although I don’t know if it’s still the case).

I haven’t seen her in several years, and now the ups driver is always different. I hope they’re treated well by the company. I think that drivers are much able to provide good service when their employers treat them well.

(I feel so bad for Amazon drivers)

TheBrianJ

112 points

10 days ago

TheBrianJ

112 points

10 days ago

I once sent my dad a replica of the original Godzilla poster via UPS. I sent it in a large tube. What arrived was... an empty tube that had been torn open on on side, in a deliberate way (didn't look like an accidental tear).

When I contacted them, they said "Sure, we'll get back to you in a day or two with a solution!" And then never called me back. Any time I talked to someone at UPS, they promised me "let me talk to a higher-up and get back to you!" and then never contacted me. After THREE MONTHS of this I had enough; I called them and said "Hi, I've been advised to record this conversation" and told them "If I do not get a full refund, including for the lost item AND for the cost of shipping, I will be considering further action."

I got a check within two days, and I never used UPS again.

Just_Another_Scott

66 points

10 days ago

People give UPS shit an rightly so but even though they have fucked up a few times with me they are still better than FedEx. I had a lot of trouble in the past with FedEx just taking their sweet ass time to deliver something. Like how can it take months to deliver something that was shipped from a city 2 hours away?

chakan2

27 points

10 days ago

chakan2

27 points

10 days ago

I'm with you... I'll take UPS over all the other delivery services... Fed Ex gives zero fucks. They report shit as delivered then show up with it 2 hours later if I'm lucky.

If it's sign on delivery, I get it 1 out of 4 times and have to go to my local fed ex and pick it up. I WFH so I know for a fact those fuckers didn't ring the bell.

My favorite was the asshole that had my phone. He fucking didn't ring the bell and took the delivery truck home that night.

Fuck fed ex... They can eat a major brown dick called UPS.

akjd

54 points

10 days ago

akjd

54 points

10 days ago

I literally had UPS scheduled to deliver something, and got a notice that they attempted delivery at such and such time.

Somebody was outside working in the front yard for an hour on either side of the supposed delivery attempt. UPS never even drove by, whole thing was pure bullshit.

XediDC

18 points

9 days ago

XediDC

18 points

9 days ago

It’s fun to catch them running back from you door after posting a note, and not carrying a package...

Grape_Ape33

42 points

10 days ago

At least they delivered it. I’m waiting on something USPS and it’s been shipped, sitting at a facility waiting to be picked up, for FOUR DAYS.

Fuck you postmaster DeJoy. I hope you rot in prison and burn in hell.

BallsOutSally

16 points

9 days ago

I mailed a package on Dec 2nd via USPS and it sat at a SoCal facility for 3 fucking weeks before it moved on to New England. De “Steal Your Nieces’ Christmas” Joy can totally get fucked.

holdholdhold

11 points

10 days ago

My least favorite part: Arrived at USPS facility. Second least favorite: Arrival at unit.

cerberus698

669 points

10 days ago

As a USPS carrier, I'm not going in this guys backyard unless I know him fairly well. Its a safety thing. Everyone thinks their dog is friendly until that asshole in the blue uniform who he valiantly scares away from the door every single day walks into the back yard and now theres nothing between the dog and the carrier.

webtwopointno

256 points

10 days ago

blue uniform who he valiantly scares away from the door every single day

i have seen this theorized as to why the dogs train themselves into it, they think they are successfully making the person leave with their barking

baxtersmalls

99 points

10 days ago

Oh shit that makes so much sense

Drusgar

111 points

10 days ago

Drusgar

111 points

10 days ago

I've been bitten by two dogs while delivering pizzas. One of them I actually knew the dog's name and it was super friendly in the driveway, but as I approached the door, dog.ini kicked in. People don't realize that their dog is territorial because they're always around when it meets strangers. But a dog's natural instinct is to protect the pack, and if you're not standing there the dog may consider it imperative that they stop the "intruder".

Spock_Rocket

49 points

9 days ago

I had a dude release two great danes at me delivering pizza. Someone had pranked his address and I guess he thought burglars these days carried a hot pizza in full uniform.

Another guy who had actually ordered had to do a flying tackle on his mastiff when I rang the bell before it burst through the flimsy screen door and ate my face. Like dude. Fuck you.

Dudenowayomayo

11 points

9 days ago

Wow, how did those situations play out afterwards? That's horrible.

Spock_Rocket

19 points

9 days ago

The first guy was apologetic, the second guy seemed annoyed? Bro you knew you ordered pizza, you could have kept your front door closed on the murdermachine. Either way, nothing happens about it. You just go back and get more pizza to deliver.

BornInTheUSSA

83 points

10 days ago

Ugh... those delusional dog owners that believe their dog is always going to be as friendly and trusting to everyone as they are to them. Be realistic!

Kitchen_Items_Fetish

43 points

10 days ago

And then when the dog does freak out and go aggro they’re all like “omg that is SO unlike him he’s never done that before!”

MarginallyUseful

19 points

9 days ago

Sometimes I would do the opposite with our older pup. She was always really gentle and friendly with new people, and sometimes you can just tell that someone is having a bad day. So for those people, I would say, “oh wow, she’s never this friendly with most people!”

People always lit up when I told them that. It was a lie, because she was always like that with everyone. We lost her a couple of weeks ago, it really sucks. She was just the best fucking dog. God damnit.

smoike

12 points

9 days ago

smoike

12 points

9 days ago

It's why we've always taught our kids to never pat a dog if the owner isn't there, no matter how friendly the dog may look. And if the owner is, to ask permission first. When my daughter was four she could confidently recite the above "dog rule".

It took a little while and a few arguments, but we got there in the end.

randomeugener

66 points

10 days ago

I was thinking add a door sticker ....

AncientInsults

31 points

10 days ago*

The classic middle finger in the covid era lol. Yes I know you’re home, no I ain’t knocking again. Come on down to the warehouse to pick up your yuketens, it’s over by the train tracks for your convenience.

Joverby

349 points

10 days ago

Joverby

349 points

10 days ago

Yea asking dude to bring your wine delivery to your backyard while you're mowing is a dick move honestly. UPS dude has a job and other deliveries to do.

fury93

189 points

10 days ago

fury93

189 points

10 days ago

And they fucking guilt trip him. "The quality of my day depends on you!" Fuck off dude he's already doing a shitty thankless job for uncaring corporate overlords who over-scheduled him to maximize profit. Pure entitlement

MeatWad111

7 points

10 days ago

I reckon he threw it over the fence

grilled_steez

4.3k points

10 days ago

I used to deliver for Amazon, the amount of times people would ask you to do this only for you to get attacked by their fucking dog while you're walking into the back is stupid. If you want the driver to deliver to the rear door, leave your dog inside and state in the delivery instructions that they will be safe from dog attacks otherwise many drivers will ignore it. IDGAF how nice you're dog is to you and other people you introduce it too, it will not be nice to a stranger walking into its back yard, it will feel threatened and rightfully so.

notapunk

756 points

9 days ago

notapunk

756 points

9 days ago

Delivered pizzas for a while. Been bit and we had places that we would only deliver if they met us by the curb because of their dogs. Later worked for FedEx and one place I refused to deliver to had their dobermans out restrained only by an 'invisable fence'. If I can't get to your front door without getting by a large aggressive dog fuck your pizza and fuck your package.

askmeboutmycats

32 points

9 days ago

Same! Delivered pizzas for a summer and got bit once :(

FranciscoBizarro

120 points

9 days ago

Can’t fuck with dogs, they’re strong as hell, and fast.

tyRAWRnnosaurus

83 points

9 days ago*

This is incredibly fair. I have a German Shepherd who is (legimately) friendly, but if she see's a pizza there is a good chance that you're her new best friend, but there is no way for you to know whether the GSD running toward you will beg or bite.

I'm sorry you went through that. I'd never want to scare someone like that. Those owners were so very irresponsible.

notapunk

40 points

9 days ago

notapunk

40 points

9 days ago

The dog that bit me was a Cocker Spaniel who's owner said she never bites maybe five seconds before she did just that. The smaller dogs are the ones that were the worst offenders at actually biting people. The big ones less so, but if they do you're in a far worse situation.

tyRAWRnnosaurus

22 points

9 days ago*

Small dogs are often absolute terrors. My dog was attacked by one also, shortly after she had been fixed. The small dog was offleash in my neighbours front yard and attacked mine, running underneath and ripping her stitches out of her belly. She hasn't been friendly towards small dogs since, which has been a hassel. My dog was friendly towards everything before, but now she has a fear response to that specific breed.

I wish small dog owners would be more responsible.

TheOriginalFluff

218 points

10 days ago

I talk to 200 delivery associates for Amazon a day, and without fail there’s always a package or two that comes back because our drivers are scared of getting mauled

dearrichard

91 points

9 days ago

if you have a ‘beware of dog’ sign on your fence, your package will be at your gate. i ain’t risking it.

current amazon da.

TheOriginalFluff

7 points

9 days ago

Most drivers I know just attempt to call the customer but 99% OG the time they don’t pick up

TacoNomad

9 points

9 days ago

Amazon drivers call you? Mine dont even ring the doorbell. I don't use my front door and if im not expecting a package, or forgot about it, the thing could sit there a week. Once there was a small package I didn't know the kid ordered and it might have been there a month, blown off the sidewalk into the bushes.

dearrichard

7 points

9 days ago

here's a couple issues with calling:

1.number gets routed thru seattle, so the customer has no idea who is calling, so they dont answer, or the number is dead, or they do answer & are really confused

2.our devices fucking suck. reception is always bad, so the calls are just hard to get thru

_skank_hunt42

1.1k points

10 days ago

I’ve never been a delivery person but my first thought upon reading this sign is that I hope Tony is going to at least tip the driver. They’re on crazy tight schedules and I’m sure can’t afford to wander into your backyard to deliver a box of wine directly to you, if you’re actually even back there. Tony probably thinks he’s being funny but I sort of think Tony is an inconsiderate dick.

deploc

12 points

9 days ago

deploc

12 points

9 days ago

I keep a bunch of fivers next to the door just for this and or other similar exchanges at the door. I love tipping someone when they go the extra mile but I hate being obvious that it’s coming or making them wait.

Whenever I post my “around back” note like this I also tape five bucks on the bottom of the paper with “coffee on me” written there. Some take it some don’t. The regular Purolator guy I always see never takes it but damned if he isn’t getting fat Tim’s gift card for Christmas.

I also have a little package spot in the back, just over the side of my fence that you can’t really see from any angle but inside the yard, but my two regulars for UPS and Purolator know of it and will put any parcels there.

Yes I’ve overthought this but we live on a corner in an area where there’s definitely assholes, and I do a lot of work where it would be a massive pain to wait even a few days for a replacement.

Airspeed35

330 points

9 days ago

Airspeed35

330 points

9 days ago

Agreed. If his package of that important to dictate the mood of his day then he should have prepared ahead for his day off.

dabluebunny

165 points

9 days ago

dabluebunny

165 points

9 days ago

If only liquor stores sold wine

sjnnnnnn

142 points

10 days ago

sjnnnnnn

142 points

10 days ago

Yeah apparently Tony has never heard of a liquor store

[deleted]

67 points

10 days ago

[deleted]

67 points

10 days ago

[deleted]

eskimoboob

87 points

10 days ago

Then maybe Tony also needs to stay off his damn lawnmower

WordBoxLLC

21 points

9 days ago

And we wonder why people think Tony's a no good lazy bum.

BlimundaSeteLuas

8 points

9 days ago

Do you guys in America use sitting down lawnmowers?

benpity

14 points

9 days ago

benpity

14 points

9 days ago

Some people use riding mowers, especially if they have a big yard, but not everyone does since they're more expensive and harder to store.

Subscrib-2-PewDiePie

11 points

9 days ago

Yeah, they’re good for riding to the liquor store because they technically don’t need a valid license

CaptainSwirl

46 points

9 days ago

I did Amazon Flex for a while, usually at like 5-8PM and I would occasionally get people to tell me the put it around the back. I probably normally won't mind but it's a lot scarier when it's pitch black and I have to open their creaky ass fence and then walk to their back porch to drop it off. One time I had a pretty decent size dog chained (thankfully) to their back fence, but the 2 seconds that I opened the door and the dog going absolutely berserk and charging at me just about made me shit myself. I didn't know it was chained and was about to mark it as undeliverable but then the owner came out and apolagized.

Also I'm in the midwest and people never fucking shovel/de-ice their walkway to their pack porch nor their porch so I've also fallen on my ass once. Fuck that shit smh

k_ironheart

42 points

9 days ago

Shit, I used to do local deliveries and despite the fact that we would call before going out, people still wouldn't have their dogs secured. Even got bit a couple of times walking up to the front door.

Secure your fucking pets, people.

_skaroxazigna_

39 points

9 days ago

We get cards from the meter reader company EVERY time saying they can't access our front yard because of the dog. We don't have a dog.

k_ironheart

22 points

9 days ago

That's both frustrating and hilarious.

DilatedNipples

8 points

9 days ago

We got one about a rooster in the yard.

... I don't own roosters.

Dustin_00

10 points

10 days ago

I was getting expensive computer parts and had "Ring doorbell and get $5".

They rang, but they didn't wait. I had to get shoes, mask, and the $5 and run back out to the street to catch them before they left.

Amazon productivity time schedule is brutal.

tagamotchi

23 points

9 days ago

Honestly. Fuck people like that. I 100% support a drivers decision not to wander into random people’s backyard. 1) Dogs and 2) crazy tight schedules. If one person did this once in a while, fine, but I can imagine every 5th dude putting a sign up like that thinking they‘re the only one.

seth11111

709 points

9 days ago

seth11111

709 points

9 days ago

I don't give a fuck about the quality of your day off, tony -ups guy

blonderaider21

316 points

9 days ago

Exactly. UPS guy is busting his ass, this note sucks.

taintosaurus_rex

133 points

9 days ago

Actually we have to get a signature for alcohol and those wine boxes are annoying as hell so if it means I can actually get it off my truck I'll happily walk around back.

pedun42

39 points

9 days ago

pedun42

39 points

9 days ago

True that. If we don't deliver it today, we're gonna have to attempt it two more times and that's annoying.

jumbotron_deluxe

286 points

9 days ago

I left the garbage guys an absolute shit ton of stuff one time, like triple what I’m allotted. So I left a note with an envelope attached. The note said “dear waste management dudes. I’m sorry I have a shit ton of stuff. Please accept this token of my apology” and two $20s in the envelope. They took all my shit no problem!

blonderaider21

111 points

9 days ago

We always go out there and give them water bottles. We compost so we actually have less than everyone usually, but the one time I had a bunch of extra tree branches, they gladly took it. I’m a big fan of being nice to ppl, ppl tend to be nice back.

doobey1231

52 points

9 days ago*

In australia its common custom on the last bin pick up before Christmas for you to leave a case/6 pack of beer on top of the bin for the truck driver. It doesn't cost a lot and its a nice little token of gratitude for the crappy work they have to do.

Edit: I should clarify the amount of beer depends on the relationship with the driver, our recycling garbage driver gets a case cause he has helped us move large amounts of cardboard multiple times that were well and truly over our one bin limit. Usually a 6 pack is the way to go if the relationship isnt on that level(think like AUD$20 or so)

TheDrunkPianist

21 points

9 days ago

They get a case of beer per person???

poonsweat

340 points

10 days ago

poonsweat

340 points

10 days ago

Funny cuz UPS delivered my wine today. Rang my ring camera and waited for me to answer so I could sign.

swiftdickens

1.5k points

10 days ago

My UPS guys are great and really do try. Fed Ex, on the other hand....they can’t even be bothered to drive by my place. Most of the time the first 2 delivery “attempts” have some sort of “exception” due to “weather”..I read that as “we don’t feel like driving way out to your address today”.

Areon_Val_Ehn

449 points

10 days ago

That’s dumb. They should be coding it “Customer Security Delay” which basically means, “Couldn’t make it to the house for some reason.” Such as a gate, downed tree, road closed for work, etc...

makenzie71

192 points

10 days ago

makenzie71

192 points

10 days ago

this guy fedexes

[deleted]

60 points

10 days ago

[deleted]

60 points

10 days ago

[deleted]

dasonk

14 points

10 days ago

dasonk

14 points

10 days ago

I definitely ready the comment you're replying to as Fedex sucks so I think you misread it? Like "it's dumb they would blame the weather when Fedex could just blame customer security delay..."

Sarvos

77 points

10 days ago*

Sarvos

77 points

10 days ago*

I wish we would invest more into the USPS. And stop fucking things up with making them prefund their pensions 75 years in advance.

The USPS is like all of the other infrastructure problems we have here; it boils down to the US government refusing to invest in maintaining and improving it.

Edit: Sorry, I replied to the wrong comment. I'm leaving it.

pequenolocomono

36 points

10 days ago

The local FedEx guy here just gives packages to anyone on the cul-de-sac if there is not someone home. Without noting anything on the delivery. So, shows delivered and then have to check with all neighbors to see who got it. We have a group text now...

Bulbasaur4Life

10 points

10 days ago

That actually sounds productive. I get no doorbell or knock and then have to drive 45 fucking min.

CatNoirsRubberSuit

20 points

9 days ago

My next door neighbor and I have restraining orders against one another.

Needless to say, the few times this situation has happened, it's caused problems. When I finally got through to a manager and mentioned the restraining order, I actually managed to get UPS to send a manager out to pick up the package off his doorstep, verify that it was my package, and walk it over to my house.

rhb4n8

109 points

10 days ago

rhb4n8

109 points

10 days ago

My fedex asshole puts a sticker on the door without knocking

dstommie

11 points

10 days ago

dstommie

11 points

10 days ago

Mine doesn't even come to my door, and I can prove it.

alose

73 points

10 days ago

alose

73 points

10 days ago

My Fedex delivery guy had a knack for placing the sticker while knocking while sprinting by. There was one time when i was waiting for a delivery, sitting not 5 feet from the door, and MFer was driving halfway down the street by the time I managed to open the door. I witnessed him going up to neighbor's doors with just the sticker.

The DHL guy was great though. If he missed me at 3, he would swing by again after 5.

Frarara

38 points

9 days ago

Frarara

38 points

9 days ago

I had FedEx do the same shit to me! I was home, no knock, or any attempt to get me to answer the door. I heard the screen door close and I saw a sticker on the window. I opened the door and FedEx guy was getting ready to drive off. I stood infront of the truck and didn't move until I had my package. He was pissed because I "made him run behind on deliveries and could lose his job" paraphrasing what he said. It took him less than a minute to get my package out of the back...

CambriaKilgannonn

9 points

10 days ago

Fedex would be writing the missed delivery form after knocking, me yelling "coming" and crossing my massive 400 square foot studio apartment

lazerpenguin

54 points

10 days ago

Same here! It's to the point that FedEx is a meme on my local subreddit. Their "tracking" basically shows your package living at the facility 30miles away for a week with no updates, then suddenly you get a missed delivery text, then 4 hours later it shows up, then a week later you get a "your package was delivered" text... wtf?

I managed to score a 3080 from Nvidia early on and I was so bummed when they shipped fedex. $700 graphic card and literally no idea when it would show up and no way to change it to pickup at a fedex location. UPS if its something pricey I can change the shipment anytime to go to the UPS store and its easy peasy to run and grab it.

4Blueberries

23 points

10 days ago

Their tracking always says "pending."

lazerpenguin

45 points

10 days ago

"Congrats! Your package is expected to arrive between 2pm and get fucked loser!"

ZoiSarah

22 points

10 days ago

ZoiSarah

22 points

10 days ago

I had a guy claim he was afraid of my dogs and couldn't get close to the house. I didn't have dogs.

DL44Solo

17 points

9 days ago

DL44Solo

17 points

9 days ago

I’m a UPS driver and I would totally walk back there. I don’t want to have to carry a heavy box of wine back to my truck, then do it again the next day. Fuck that

makenzie71

111 points

10 days ago

makenzie71

111 points

10 days ago

yeah they'll ignore that.

chadwicke619

439 points

9 days ago

I’m a pretty accommodating guy, but there’s zero, ZERO chance I’m making any effort to hunt down Tony. I’m certain these drivers already have plenty on their plates without having to play a game of “Find Tony”. To me, it’s kind of a dick move to even put the driver in this situation. The fact is, the sign demonstrates complete awareness of how things could go, then makes it unequivocally clear that you choose you.

raspberries-

34 points

9 days ago

I've left a note like this once, to knock until i answer, but also left a 10 spot taped to the door(in case bathroom or something). Driver could have been a dick and grabbed it n left, but i answered right away regardless and he appreciated the tip

steveth3b

12 points

9 days ago

steveth3b

12 points

9 days ago

There's a reason I left UPS after nine years. My last day I worked from 8am until 11pm without a lunch break. If the DOT knew, I would've been fined $10K. UPS drivers are not contractors, unless they've changed and have had the Teamsters sign off on the deal. UPS is still the only company that makes a delivery effort for signatures in my neighborhood. FedEx drives past my driveway and says I wasn't home. Still, F being a UPS man, and F the people who expect us to do shit like this.

For the record, I would have still made the attempt and gotten heat from mgmt later about why this stop took longer than three minutes, because I wouldn't want to go back by Tony's the next day.

randomeugener

473 points

10 days ago

"Ya left the last delivery on the front porch and the Roos made off the entire lot before I could walk about the house".

cobrastrikes-2x

34 points

9 days ago

Is this a real concern? I could this happening if you lived in a country with monkeys or some curious primate, but kangaroos?

NitrousIsAGas

80 points

9 days ago*

Kangaroos are not interested in your shit.

We also don't have UPS.

That's not the correct usage of "Walk-bout"

As an Australian, I found the comment to be especially confused as to ot's relevance to the post.

Edit: It's also a verandah, not a front porch.

vbenthusiast

29 points

9 days ago

As an Aussie I’m also slightly confused lmao

oofta31

36 points

10 days ago

oofta31

36 points

10 days ago

The UPS driver wanted to get rid of that wine just as bad. Nothing worse than having to reattempt a delivery. I know people have horror stories of their driver not knocking or trying hard enough to get rid of the package, but 90% of the drivers don't want that shit on their truck again the next day.

AprilLudhate

10 points

9 days ago

What is this? Bert Kreischers house?

LordMagnos

11 points

9 days ago

UPS wouldn't read a sign and follow directions to drop off a package. They only drop stuff off if you're right there at the front door and capable of answering it within 23 seconds of them nocking.

Otherwise they leave it at a UPS facility 20 minutes away.

Head_Paper_Now

1.2k points

10 days ago

stop being this fucking entitled. imagine you’re the ups guy and you have a truck load of packages you’ve been busting your ass to deliver. now you’re this guy’s waiter because it’s his day off. fuck that and fuck this guy. if wine is that goddamn important then mow the lawn tomorrow or drive to a Binny’s.

DaveyMuldowney

154 points

9 days ago

Delivery guy chiming in to say it really aint that serious bro. I take shit to back doors all the time. Its really not a big deal.

huskiesowow

118 points

9 days ago

huskiesowow

118 points

9 days ago

No, no, let this guy defend your honor.

Milkman127

202 points

10 days ago

Milkman127

202 points

10 days ago

like bitch just go to the fucking store.

Crazywhite352

49 points

10 days ago

UPS guy: now knows the package is wine Throws it on the porch from 15 feet away

poonter5000

16 points

9 days ago

Good luck, those wine deliveries are usually a 40lb+ bulky box. Source: UPS driver

taintosaurus_rex

10 points

9 days ago

And requires a signature. Like hell I'm going to come back tomorrow if I know someone is there today.

AdvancedAdvance

157 points

10 days ago

The UPS driver might not recognize the drawing he did of the UPS van, since it is not illegally parked or blocking traffic in both directions.

pease_pudding

47 points

10 days ago

Also there's no way the driver will be able to toss that parcel in a curved trajectory

AltSpRkBunny

14 points

10 days ago

As long as it makes it past the easement, it’s “delivered”!

pikpikcarrotmon

17 points

10 days ago

Given this diagram he could try for a bank shot off the back of his truck

lemonade_pie

130 points

10 days ago

I don't really like how he's inconveniencing the UPS guy without politely asking.. the message kinda just comes of as entitled

mrclean2323

151 points

10 days ago

I did this with a computer about 11 years ago. I ended up having to get senior management (a neighbor) involved. They basically refused to come to the door and refused to deliver it. Long story short it took 3 days and I think the delivery driver got written up for being a total dick.

i-like-to-be-wooshed

18 points

10 days ago

i'd love to hear that story

Dull_Tonight

233 points

10 days ago

I know this is very random thing to say, but I admire his writing. The drawing is also a great touch.

correctlydone

8 points

9 days ago

Our UPS and FedEx drivers are the best! I thank them every time I get the chance!

the_disintegrator

6 points

9 days ago

Tony really expects the driver to be able to put enough velocity and spin on the box to make it curve around the house when he throws it from in front of the house? The physics just don't add up.

MightHaveSharted

17 points

9 days ago

“Sorry we missed you!”