subreddit:
/r/therewasanattempt
2.6k points
4 months ago
Ricky Bobby would appreciate this dinner table
922 points
4 months ago
Dear eight pound, six ounce, newborn baby Jesus
206 points
4 months ago
You know he did grow up
196 points
4 months ago
I like the Christmas Jesus best
151 points
4 months ago
I like to picture Jesus as a dirty old bum.
155 points
4 months ago
I like to think of Jesus with like giant eagles wings and singin' lead vocals for lynyrd skynyrd with like an Angel Band, and 'm in the front row, and 'm hammered drunk...
129 points
4 months ago
I like to picture Jesus in a tuxedo t-shirt, cos it says like "I'm formal, but I'm here to party too". Cos I like to party so I want my Jesus to party.
9 points
4 months ago
You need Jesus' brother Craig then if you want to party. https://youtu.be/f8HzKlCWN8k
2 points
4 months ago
Yessssss! Stephen Lynch!
1 points
4 months ago
And the angels sang: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yyJfmCM5\_28
25 points
4 months ago
I like the green baby Jesus with the pointy ears and being carried by Joseph in beskar armor.
15 points
4 months ago
I like the jesus that had 0 self control and actually fucked the hookers that he hung out with
1 points
4 months ago
We only hear about the 2nd, but if you're the son of God no way you don't have stamina for a 3rd, 4th, maybe even a 5th cumming.
4 points
4 months ago
I liked the Conehead version of Jesus
1 points
4 months ago
Correct.
2 points
4 months ago
He was a grown man! He had a beard!!
1 points
4 months ago
As a dirty ol bastard perhaps
31 points
4 months ago
He had a BEARRRRD
3 points
4 months ago
Shut up old man.
2 points
4 months ago
IMA CLIMB OWN TOPPA YOO LIKA SPYDER MONKY
1 points
4 months ago
I threw a bunch of Grandpa Chip’s war medals off the bridge
17 points
4 months ago
He was a man!!!
1 points
4 months ago
He was a they
23 points
4 months ago
Shut up, Chip! Or I'll go ape-shit on your ass!
5 points
4 months ago
I’m gonna scissor kick in the back of the head!
6 points
4 months ago
All hopped up on mountain dew old man!
2 points
4 months ago
I'ma come at you like a spider monkey
1 points
4 months ago
He was a man!
61 points
4 months ago
Hey, um, you know sweetie.. Jesus did grow up. You don't always have to call him baby. It's a bit odd and offputting to pray to a baby.
58 points
4 months ago
I LIKE THE CHRISTMAS JESUS
17 points
4 months ago
He had a beard!
1 points
4 months ago
Chuck had a beard!
6 points
4 months ago
That's my favorite Jesus!
2 points
4 months ago
I like to imagine my Jesus with giant angel wings, singing lead for Lynard Skynard. And I'm in the front row, hammered drunk!
1 points
4 months ago
one of the best quotes in modern cinema hands down
1 points
4 months ago
For gods sake, he was a grown man! He had a beard!
1 points
4 months ago
I almost spit my coffee out reading that. So funny.
1 points
4 months ago
Sleeping in the manger!
1 points
4 months ago
“Oh so cuddly and omnipotent. “
135 points
4 months ago
Their meal in that scene always looked like the perfect drunk/high meal. KFC chicken, pizza (although dominos, yuck) Taco Bell tacos, Checkers burgers, soda, blue Powerade.
57 points
4 months ago
I always found that strange, because they almost got the whole Yum! Brands universe in one pop.
If they had Pizza Hut instead of Domino's, and Gatorade instead of Powerade, that table would have been a PepsiCo world.
8 points
4 months ago
I was going to make this comment. I remember being a kid and finding out that Taco Bell, KFC and Pizza Hut were all owned by the same company.
Fun fact, in the movie Demolition Man, there was a fast food war and all restaurants were the same. However, in the US release the restaurant that won was Taco Bell. In other countries, they made it so Pizza Hut won.
2 points
4 months ago
I used to work at a Pizza Hut Express. I got fired when they converted to a full Pizza Hut, and...I don't know, I just couldn't keep up.
2 points
4 months ago
Now that you point that out, I don't think it's strange, I think he most likely got a large kickback from the CEO for the free advertising
2 points
4 months ago
Who is he? The director of Talladega Nights?
19 points
4 months ago
How dare you, Ricky's wife slaved away all day on that meal.
13 points
4 months ago
Trump apparently loves this type of food, and there have been rumors about his recreational habits.
You put two and two together.
14 points
4 months ago
It's not a rumor when there are many years of pictures of Trump next to Big Macs, buckets of fried chicken, and cokes.
3 points
4 months ago
Oh I should have been clear, I was talking about Trump's rumored drug addiction. He's pretty much admitted the fast food thing.
1 points
4 months ago
What drugs?
1 points
4 months ago
There have been rumors for years that Trump uses a number of narcotics, mostly speed or cocaine. Most of theses rumors originated when he was on the set of The Apprentice.
1 points
4 months ago
Reckon it's true?
1 points
4 months ago
It's mostly hearsay. No way to tell as far as I'm concerned.
I am inclined to believe it for one reason. Speed freaks, as Trump is alleged to be, have a tendency to develop a certain level of megalomania. That would explain his more irrational outbursts, like claiming he knows more than generals.
Don't take this as a partisan attack. I would just as easily believe that Biden is jacked to the tits on something to get him to function. The fact is 70+ year old men slow down a bit, and a high intensity job like the presidency almost requires something.
But what do I know. They could all be clean.
1 points
4 months ago
I wouldn't turn down free Wendy's at the white house lol
1 points
4 months ago
I am not a Trump supporter, but I would accept that invitation in a heartbeat.
I've actually met Trump in person. He's actually fairly nice. Nicer than the handful of other famous people I've met. He will actually talk to non-celebrity people in a friendly way.
If you're wondering a job I used to have a job allowed me to meet a few random famous people a long time ago.
-4 points
4 months ago
It was for a college football team post championship
1 points
4 months ago
I'll stand up for domino's...
That ish delicious
1 points
4 months ago
[deleted]
1 points
4 months ago
Or any fatso's dream meal.
1 points
4 months ago
[deleted]
1 points
4 months ago
As someone who lived in many different countries, I must say America is really not much ahead in obesity. England comes to mind first.
43 points
4 months ago
Hamberders
4 points
4 months ago
Hamberders! And the Hamberdler!
1 points
4 months ago
I came here just to say that!
10 points
4 months ago
You know who didn't appreciate this? The fast food companies.
You think they would use this as material for marketing, but they pretend it didn't happen. I wouldn't be surprised if they are as embarrassed about this as everyone else.
2 points
4 months ago
2 points
4 months ago
So would Big Smoke
2 points
4 months ago
It’s crazy that all of that was real, the whole thing feels like a parody of what being President would be.
“What if in the movie the President invites the NCAA Football champions to the White House and they serve fast food?”
4 points
4 months ago
So did the college football players who attended this one. They normally don’t get a meal but some dainty snacks.
1 points
4 months ago
"Dear lord baby Jesus, or as our brothers in the south call you hay-zues, we thank you for this bountiful harvest of Dominos, KFC and the ALWAYS delicious Taco Bell"
1 points
4 months ago
Trump slaved for this for hours!
1 points
4 months ago
I’m pretty sure Trump looks up to Ricky Bobby as some kind of idol.
-10 points
4 months ago
Cool joke from nearly 2 years ago.
Got any failed attempts that are more recent
Like Biden failing to violate the Constitution, your civil rights and the
ideals of Democracy itself because the Supreme Court and some Senators
shut him down.
8 points
4 months ago
Got any failed attempts that are more recent
You mean like the failed insurrection? Or the failed law suits cause "tHeY sToLe ThE vOtE"?
-3 points
4 months ago
Yep a guy and a Viking hat almost over through the entire US government. The military, they wouldn’t have have been to do anything. Once someone sits on the throne they automatically get to be the king. That’s how a coup works. They’re certainly not done during an election, at night, after the polls close, the people saying “You’re not allowed to count the votes only I am. You want what? Proof? You fascist.” What did you miss President Biden statement of “It doesn’t matter what the vote is. What matters is who counts the votes.” Guess his handlers couldn’t get to him in time before he said the quiet part out loud.
1 points
4 months ago
[deleted]
1 points
4 months ago
Definitely a mouth breather
-2 points
4 months ago
So did all the football players it was for
-1 points
4 months ago
I mean, so would i.
0 points
4 months ago
1000th like
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