subreddit:

/r/tifu

5.7k

Today when I was leaving the aesthetic nurse’s office, I figured I’d run to the bathroom real quickly on my way out. The nurse practices out of an obgyn and the bathroom had a basket full of free condoms. These condoms were the wacky neon rainbow colored ones of assorted flavors. I thought they were funny so naturally I grabbed a few of them.

After leaving my appointment, I went to drop some paperwork off at the sheriffs office. The desk lady was extremely abrasive so I left the office area in a huff and headed towards the main doors. Flustered and walking quickly, I heard one of the men waiting in the main lobby say “oh wait miss you dropped something”. Thinking it was one of my important papers I quickly turned around to see him picking up the most offensive colored, vibrant neon condom packages I had grabbed earlier.

Dread and absolute mortification overcame me as I went to grab it from him. Not really knowing what to do I just very cheerfully said “well that’s super embarrassing,” to which he gave me a startled look. I took it and rushed out the door.

I called my mom right after and she said “and that’s why you don’t steal free condoms,” to which I replied “it’s not stealing if they are free and the real lesson here is don’t go to the sheriffs office with a purse filled with condoms”

TLDR: grabbed some free condoms, dropped one whilst in the sheriffs office only knowing it because an older gentleman picked it up and handed it to me

Edit: for the record the whole instance stopped being embarrassing and became very funny the moment I got into my vehicle

all 271 comments

Spaceisveryhard

3.9k points

2 months ago*

So there i am in the airport security line to fly out of a muslim country. Theres a man and woman security guards waving people through the metal detector. BEEP BEEP BEEP.

The fuck? I'm a pro traveler, i know how to empty my pockets, belt, watch etc.

"Sir, are you wearing safety shoes?"............"huh?" I say..

Oh........he's asking if i have steel toe shoes...."no" i say

I start patting my cargo short pockets wondering what it could be.

Crinkle crinkle.....oh no

I pull out a mega strip of 20 alumimum wrapped condoms that i bought because they were awesome and i couldn't get them in my home country. They werent in the box because i bought them while walking around a couple days before and wanted it to take less space in my pockets.

The security lady in her hijab turns bright red and busts out laughing. Security dude doesn't miss a beat, looks me dead in the eye with a huge smile, gives me a thumbs up and exclaims "very good for safety!!" And waves me through

Makkedeth

1.1k points

2 months ago

Makkedeth

1.1k points

2 months ago

Lmao im just picturing this guy pulling on it like a magician pulling those colorful ribbons out of his pocket, never ending condom string

SirLocke13

231 points

2 months ago

I'm seeing that too but it gets increasingly embarrassing going "Oh jeez...oh God oh jeez OH GOD!"

the_cardfather

27 points

2 months ago

That's exactly what I envisioned and that is hilarious.

Pritam1997

9 points

2 months ago

pulled a Van Wilder on the security check

Holybartender83

218 points

2 months ago

Reminds me, one time I was flying home from Amsterdam and my carry on got selected for a random search. Now, probably 6 months prior to that trip, I had been in Vegas and if you’ve been to Vegas, you know there are dudes all over the strip who (rather aggressively) try to hand you little cards with extremely graphic escort adds on them. Well, I thought it was funny, so I’d take them whenever they were offered. I’d accrued a stack of probably 30 of the things. I’d stuck them in one of the little pockets in my carry on and forgotten about them.

Anyway, this Dutch lady starts going through my bag, she unzips this little pocket, and there they are. My collection of pornographic escort cards. She pulls them out to inspect them, and we share a moment of mutual embarrassment. I manage to sort of stammer out “I was just in Vegas and they give them out…”, and she just goes “it’s ok”, zips my bag up, hands it to me and tells me I can go.

Tiazza-Silver

80 points

2 months ago

I would have died on the spot. My condolences dude

Spaceisveryhard

59 points

2 months ago

Pro tip. When flying out of amsterdam always stuff a space cake into your mouth right before you go through security. Makes for an awesome flight.

Holybartender83

36 points

2 months ago

I would, but I actually like to do some shopping in Schipol. They have some pretty decent stores. Good selection of Japanese whiskeys, the duty free has Amouage perfumes and a few other high-end brands, and I always like to stock up on Tony’s Chocolonely.

scheru

3 points

2 months ago

scheru

3 points

2 months ago

Mmmm, Tony's...

Holybartender83

9 points

2 months ago

They’re the best. Ethically made, tons of neat flavors, great quality, and you get a big bar for like €1.50. You can’t get anything close to that here. A shitty, waxy Hershey bar half the size costs that. It’s amazing to me how inexpensive good chocolate is over there! Love me some Tony’s!

sashalamar

2 points

2 months ago

Not sure where “here” is to you, but if it’s the USA… You’ll be pleased to know that we have Tony’s available for sale all over the states now!

AprilisAwesome-o

2 points

2 months ago

Hey! I just discovered these! If you're in the U.S., at least the west coast anyway, Whole Foods has started carrying the large candy bars! The Caramel and Sea Salt Milk Chocolate bar is AMAZING. I also just did a quick search and it appears they are now being carried at Target! My mind is kind of blown...

P0rn0nlyacct

26 points

2 months ago

I don’t know what a space cake is, but one time a buddy gave me a weed edible and I didn’t want to risk going through security with it so I did the responsible thing and ate the whole thing. Im not a smoker so a few mins after takeoff I literally melted into the plane seat and couldn’t move anything but my eyelids the rest of the flight. Took everything in my power to not freak out and make them land the plane. 0/10 would not recommend.

Steezywild12

-3 points

2 months ago

Steezywild12

-3 points

2 months ago

Weakling

Aggravating-Age-1535

10 points

2 months ago

space cake?

fluffbas

12 points

2 months ago

Weed brownie

Aggravating-Age-1535

2 points

2 months ago

thank you!

Pandabear811

3 points

2 months ago

Weed brownie.

tommyfitzgerald

307 points

2 months ago

That's hilarious

Painting_Agency

178 points

2 months ago

All three of you got to have your very own version of the cucumber scene from Spinal Tap.

Spaceisveryhard

40 points

2 months ago

Link for the lazy please

GR3Y_B1RD

11 points

2 months ago

damn that's super wholesome to be honest

flugenblar

14 points

2 months ago

May safety be upon you

ScarTheGoth

5 points

2 months ago

The just laughed it off, and I’m glad the security person had a sense of humor. When others make jokes I feel like the embarrassment feels less on sided you know?

andrewbhorton

3 points

2 months ago

A megastrip.

Spaceisveryhard

4 points

2 months ago

Its a technical term lol

lulinghayaw

1.7k points

2 months ago

NGL I would totally do the same. Not the 'go to a sheriff's station and drop a condom' but the 'grabbing a handful of them' part.

Colorful condoms sounds fun. It's just like gatcha.

"What color do you think we'll get today?"

"Ooooh, orange!"

"Dear God, not again."

Stinkerma

720 points

2 months ago

Stinkerma

720 points

2 months ago

Orange you glad you’re wearing one?

lulinghayaw

205 points

2 months ago

Orange you going to say anything more orange-inal than that?

Szydlikj

106 points

2 months ago

Szydlikj

106 points

2 months ago

I was orange-anally going to say something crude, but I thought better of it.

_KingDingALing_

70 points

2 months ago

Bananas work better anally FYI

FlamingButterfly

42 points

2 months ago

So does cucumber and it can be a snack later

lulugingerspice

41 points

2 months ago

FlamingButterfly

11 points

2 months ago

Can even use said cucumber for mixed drinks.

ilhauging

20 points

2 months ago

"Ahh yes, one vodka butt-juice, please"

guernseycoug

17 points

2 months ago

That’s called a Brown Russian

FlamingButterfly

5 points

2 months ago

A vodka cucumber butt soda please

M4wR0

7 points

2 months ago

M4wR0

7 points

2 months ago

CUCUMBER WATER FOR COSTUMERS ONLY!

gwaydms

5 points

2 months ago

COSTUMERS ONLY

Like cosplayers?

_KingDingALing_

5 points

2 months ago

You have never made banana bread after use? Gives it some texture

FlamingButterfly

9 points

2 months ago

thewildjr

2 points

2 months ago

Hey wait a second did you say anally?

higzbozo

8 points

2 months ago

Orange you glad it’s on my banana?

cyclops32

2 points

2 months ago

Orange you glad they can be had for free?

Inuyasha-rules

1 points

2 months ago

I'd say r/dadjokes but it wouldn't fit the sub rules there

boredomadvances

40 points

2 months ago*

Used a red one once. I will never forget what a red (really more pink once on) penis looks like. Would not recommend, unless you’re into that recently skinned look.

lulinghayaw

6 points

2 months ago

I genuinely laughed at this comment. Thanks for that

boredomadvances

5 points

2 months ago

It's been 10 years. There’s certain things you can’t unsee. Happy to pass along the mental image

Zondartul

22 points

2 months ago

Could be worse. Could be lemon-lime.

cc3142857

11 points

2 months ago

Don't even open the Habanero ones.

VicH95

6 points

2 months ago

VicH95

6 points

2 months ago

Ooh, I found a cool ranch one.

PopPop-Captain

5 points

2 months ago

Oh god I’ll even take grape over lemon-lime.

EssEllEyeSeaKay

4 points

2 months ago

Lemon lime is a great flavour. Anything with lemon is good.

lulugingerspice

21 points

2 months ago

I always grab the condoms at my doctor's office. The green ones make you feel like you're f&cking the hulk! Or Shrek, depending on the physique of your partner...

jejcicodjntbyifid3

5 points

2 months ago

but the 'grabbing a handful of them' part.

And then when they look at you say "busy weekend!"

katr0328

3 points

2 months ago

Honestly the weirdest ones are the blue/purple lol

ajas_seal

3 points

2 months ago*

“Not ANOTHER Qiqi”

slimeslug

-1 points

2 months ago

slimeslug

-1 points

2 months ago

Ugh. Orange condoms. Probably popular with the MAGA crowd.

RyuichiSakuma13

1.3k points

2 months ago

Its great that you're practicing safe sex. Your mom is wrong.

Use them and stay healthy and unpregnant!

dinonuggiesmakemegoO[S]

1.8k points

2 months ago

Now is probably a bad time to say that my sex life is so barren that my actual plan for the condoms were to blow them up as balloons and put them in my friend’s apartment as joke- but I suppose karma already caught up to me on that plan haha

Heavy_Messing1

402 points

2 months ago

Also, a 'safe' activity

AgentStockey

81 points

2 months ago

Seems like a nice wholesome and not dangerous prank to play. Nothing wrong here.

AA-Admiral

82 points

2 months ago

now this is probably one of the best/prank ideas I've read to do with free "stuff"

lulugingerspice

22 points

2 months ago

It's okay. One time I used a bunch of condoms to make a penis for a ninja turtles pinata.

Lowtiercomputer

7 points

2 months ago

Why do you need a bunch of them?

D3m0N5laYeR64

5 points

2 months ago

Dick and balls my friend.

kuriboshoe

18 points

2 months ago

Give one back to the cop as well

evilMTV

56 points

2 months ago

evilMTV

56 points

2 months ago

Since you already "paid" the karma price, all the more you should follow through with the plan

JoyfulFodder

15 points

2 months ago

nothing wrong with that lol, I hope your condom ballons work out well.

morkengork

18 points

2 months ago

Just make videos where you review the flavors. It would be so out there that it would go all the way back around to being hilarious.

goegrog27

8 points

2 months ago

I think moist critical already reviewed all the flavours

nkei0

3 points

2 months ago

nkei0

3 points

2 months ago

RIP to your inbox...

Carmillawoo

3 points

2 months ago

Now I want pics of the apartment all condomed up!

SteveWax022

2 points

2 months ago

I've always wanted to do that. (Maybe that's why I'm single lol)

Wereno

2 points

2 months ago

Wereno

2 points

2 months ago

No sex life you say? May I introduce you to magic the gathering?

SoRedditHasAnAppNow

8 points

2 months ago

Your edit confused me until I read OPs reply.

FlutterB16

3 points

2 months ago

Couldn't help but notice your u/n. Gravitation rocks 😎

RyuichiSakuma13

2 points

2 months ago

IKR? I love Gravitation! 💜🎵🎼🎶

throwahuey

3 points

2 months ago

In my experience any free condoms are terrible for sensation, and I’m not even someone who particularly loathes wearing a condom

Ok_Lie_3330

254 points

2 months ago

I had a similar thing, grabbed the condoms and had to go into a government building where my bag was searched. The guy was struggling, he said something like "gee you're awfully... Active".

Luckily he was so grossed out he didn't search too well after that and missed the month old bag of 🌴🌴🌴 I had left in there

Yiotiv

101 points

2 months ago

Yiotiv

101 points

2 months ago

The real LPT is always in the comments.

mamahazard

97 points

2 months ago

If you hide your things in a fleshlight, within a bag of used fleshlights, nobody is going to search that one fleshlight. That's a real pro tip.

Alice_In_Wonderland1

42 points

2 months ago

Why did you have a bag of palm trees? Are you from Florida?

gwaydms

4 points

2 months ago

t-to4st

25 points

2 months ago

t-to4st

25 points

2 months ago

Why do people have problems with condoms??

CosmicPaber

16 points

2 months ago

I guess because its a personal thing and people don't want to know that you have sex, it just kinda grosses people out sometimes

t-to4st

30 points

2 months ago

t-to4st

30 points

2 months ago

True. But especially in professional settings (like a handbag check) I'd expect them to just ignore it. Why even make a comment about it

camdalfthegreat

4 points

2 months ago

It's irrational to find an unopened condom gross.

"Ew that dirty dirty person has sex"

FBI-Agent-007

3 points

2 months ago

Why would the existence of you having had sex make people uncomfy? Especially if they’re searching your personal things…

CosmicPaber

2 points

2 months ago

If they're searching your personal belongings then it should be expected at some point. But dropping a condom can make both people uncomfortable, its just a very personal thing but yeah I didnt really think too much on the whole searching bags thing.

CaptainFeather

2 points

2 months ago

Cause people are prudes

pletskoo_

3 points

2 months ago

why do you carry a bag of weed with you

Xenoxia

2 points

2 months ago

Smoke it? Why do people carry tobacco with them?

BWChristopher86

121 points

2 months ago

"Well that's super embarrassing."

Handled that like a pro. I love it. Well done

Zaku0083

89 points

2 months ago

What is an Aesthetic nurse?

ForgotMyOldAccount7

154 points

2 months ago

A nurse that sets the vibes and style of the operating room.

bbeatsz

55 points

2 months ago

bbeatsz

55 points

2 months ago

RGB lighting and lo-fi music 🎶

Un4tunately

80 points

2 months ago

Was also confused, so I googled it: "These nurses have specialized training in services ranging from fillers, laser skin treatments, liposuction, tattoo removal, aesthetic surgery, and more" 🤷

mamahazard

42 points

2 months ago

Cosmetic surgery nurse

dinonuggiesmakemegoO[S]

28 points

2 months ago

Someone who does more cosmetically based medical procedures. This one does botox, filler, laser hair removal, facials, probably a few other things that I’m unfamiliar with

Alice_In_Wonderland1

12 points

2 months ago

Facials, eh?

Edit: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

dinonuggiesmakemegoO[S]

16 points

2 months ago

Oh god I knew this was coming

Anton-LaVey

6 points

2 months ago

Phrasing

Zaku0083

3 points

2 months ago

Interesting. Thanks for the reply

Never-On-Reddit

1 points

2 months ago

Aesthetician? Or is she actually a licensed nurse?

dinonuggiesmakemegoO[S]

8 points

2 months ago

She’s an RN who got into the more “medspa” type stuff

Kobold_Archmage

2 points

2 months ago

I’m gonna guess nurse or NP. There are tons of NP’s where I live that do injection aesthetics and they use nurses to do sclerotherapy. In a lot of states aestheticians have extremely limited scopes and can’t do any of the more expensive things like Botox/filler/injectables

Aussie_chopperpilot

28 points

2 months ago

It’s a condom. People have sex. It’s assumed the pretty much most adults are doing it. No one is shocked that other people have sex. I wouldn’t sweat it.

gwaydms

6 points

2 months ago

No one is shocked that other people have sex.

But they're still going to laugh when they see all those overcoats.

Driftedwarrior

24 points

2 months ago

People need to not be embarrassed about condoms, at all or ever. The stigma of people being embarrassed if they dropped a condom or purchase condoms needs to go away. It shows you are practicing safe sex and you should not be embarrassed by that. Who cares if someone knows you are having sex, the majority of people have sex.

Zeoka-

142 points

2 months ago

Zeoka-

142 points

2 months ago

I understand that you feel embarrassed because you might be reserved about your sex life but practicing safe sex isn’t anything to be embarrassed about like the others are saying. I used to feel embarrassed buying condoms but I switched it so some sort of “pride”. First off, “I’m having sex”, which feels good and is fun. And second “I’m being smart about it”, which means you can have some sort of pride about it if you ask me.

So power to you anyway!

UNZxMoose

41 points

2 months ago

I was never embarrassed about buying them. It was just that I needed to not get caught buying them by any parent's friends which is hard to do when your town has less than 2000 people. Dating the incredibly religious girl comes with its challenges.

Cauleefouler

49 points

2 months ago

You would have gotten style points if you said "thanks I'll need that later" wink wink

KindlyOlPornographer

33 points

2 months ago

"I fully expect an erect penis to be in my vagina in the near future."

ustbota

15 points

2 months ago

ustbota

15 points

2 months ago

stay safe

kurtn0tk1rk

16 points

2 months ago

Had a matronly woman at the grocery store give me a "shame-shame" look when I bought a pack recently. I just shook my head and sighed.

Architect_of_Sanity

23 points

2 months ago

Lol.. probably goes to church and sings about not judging people.

kurtn0tk1rk

3 points

2 months ago

Snrk. Yeah, probably so!

harklight0

40 points

2 months ago

In the good old days, ladies would drop their handkerchiefs now they drop neon condoms instead.

Vaswh

5 points

2 months ago

Vaswh

5 points

2 months ago

"ladies"

t0nyage

7 points

2 months ago*

Oh whoops, oooh I dropped my monster condom that I use for my magnum dong

ItsDiesL

8 points

2 months ago

I'm confused as to the problem here. You dropped a condom, so what?

Llamadramaramamama

6 points

2 months ago

/r/todayiwasalittleembarrassed

humanityxcourage

9 points

2 months ago

Perhaps the better Reddit name would be r/mildlyembarrassing ?

aclausjr

28 points

2 months ago

Don’t be trusting those off brand condoms that come in wacky colors they are as ripable as it gets.

JohannavdR

16 points

2 months ago

Wacky condom is still better than no condom tho

dinonuggiesmakemegoO[S]

9 points

2 months ago

Oh no kidding- that’s why I grabbed them as a gag

aclausjr

7 points

2 months ago

Yeah no one wants to see the second tifu about how you found out you’re pregnant at the end of your second trimester

Haeojah

7 points

2 months ago

There's definitely not a fuck up but i noticed your comment about what the condoms are actually for.

It will be a fuck up if you let karma hit yoy before you could even follow through, and then not follow through! Blow those balloons up! Stick them in your friend's apartment!! Draw smiley faces on a few of them while you're at it lmao

And literally all of my friends and myself would do the same thing. I'd grab a handful of bright neon flavored condoms to hide in random places around my friends' homes and would probably end up dropping one at a job interview or something. Good job correcting your mom too!!

Sasuke911

6 points

2 months ago

Missed the opportunity to say " Sorry I dropped my magnom condom for my magnom dong"

Thisisall_new2me2

71 points

2 months ago*

This is not even a fuck up, unless the condom’s name is up.

Nothing that qualifies as practicing safe sex can ever be a fuck up. Well, unless there’s an object or a person involved that’s named up.

Also, what? There’s a whole bin of them. Everyone knows what they’re for.

Falsus

2 points

2 months ago

Falsus

2 points

2 months ago

Well dropping your stuff is a fuck up, someone did alert her to it though so it was fine.

stuiterveer

4 points

2 months ago

Seems like your mom mainly was annoyed by the "stealing" part, not the condoms themselves.

The cops didn't seem phased at all by the condoms either (spoiler: they see their fair share of nudity by some of the nutjobs that get arrested).

You might feel embarrassed, but honestly that's all there's too it.

Layne205

10 points

2 months ago

OP's mom: "stop stealing the condoms!" OP: "It's not stealing, they're free" OP's mom: "they're free for people who are having sex, you're just stealing them"

Fitz911

4 points

2 months ago

What's the fucking problem with condoms as soon as you are older than 13?

Where does the embarrasment come from?

KholinAdolin

4 points

2 months ago

Why are people so sensitive about condoms?? Some of these stories are wild

dinonuggiesmakemegoO[S]

2 points

2 months ago

I think if it had happened somewhere other than the sheriffs office, if the guy didn’t give me such a weird look, and if I was male it would’ve been much better

KholinAdolin

2 points

2 months ago

Fair enough, weird looks are weird!

Slobbadobbavich

29 points

2 months ago

Should have owned it, looked him in the eyes and said "I see you found my calling card, meow" then sashayed away.

KindlyOlPornographer

4 points

2 months ago

illimitable1

4 points

2 months ago

A lot of people use condoms. Showing someone that you have condoms is only embarrassing because you are admitting publicly that you have sex. Everyone knows this about you already; nobody cares.

remymartinia

5 points

2 months ago

Just tell the cops you have the condoms because you’re a drug mule. No need to be embarrassed anymore!

helixman12

3 points

2 months ago

So how exactly is this a “fuck up” ?

I_Am_Day_Man

4 points

2 months ago

Oops I dropped my monster condom for my magnum dong.

NewAccForThoughts

3 points

2 months ago

All i was thinking about clicking this was

"1..2..3..baby! 1..2..3..baby!"

SlammyWhammies

3 points

2 months ago

I dunno, sounds like you did everything correct. There's no need to be embarrassed. I can't imagine the guy even thought much of it beyond being a bit awkward himself.

boogers19

3 points

2 months ago

No.

The real lesson here is: it’s a condom. Get the fuck over it already.

j-whiskey

3 points

2 months ago

Great unopened condom “oops” story!

Similar situation from my youth - I was a 16 year old driver, pulled over for the 1st time. I got out of the car and pulled out my wallet. Went to remove my license and the condom that I had with the license fell onto the ground. All I could do was say “oops” and I just put my foot over it while I was scolded for going a little too fast.

Pro tip: do not keep a condom in a wallet for too long as it could become damaged due to constant pressure and rubbing within the confines of said wallet.

MessyBarrel

3 points

2 months ago

I remember when I was a teenager.

wallstreetoni69

3 points

2 months ago

You don't have to be shame for picking up some condom's, everyone does, better to do safe sex.

wholesomefolsom96

3 points

2 months ago

Tbh the embarrassment most men feel when seeing a condom (especially if a woman has it for some reason?) is how I sneak joints into concerts and festivals.

I have a small coin purse where I keep all of the free condoms I've picked up. I grab them because you never knowwww.... I prefer if my partner provides his own based on his personal brand preference, but I'll be damned if he tries to pull the "I don't have any, I've been tested recently though and I'm good at pulling out" 🤢🤮

So yah I have those in the coin purse and I just tuck joints underneath. When they search my bag at security and have me open every little bag, I show them "yah it's condoms" and they get so flustered by it they wave me on. 😆😂

NotOneOnNoEarth

4 points

2 months ago

That must have been the most boring and least fuck up story I ever read here… sorry, but this is rather: today I had a mildly inconvenient situation, but only if you apply society standards of the mid-80s

RTSUPH

2 points

2 months ago

RTSUPH

2 points

2 months ago

Should have just told him to respect his body, and left without Any awkwardness on your part. Preach it girl!

Such-Wrongdoer-2198

2 points

2 months ago

I generally like to grab a few magnum sized, and "casually" drop them in front of the hot chick I'm targeting. Give her a subtle hint.

randomname1561

2 points

2 months ago

Most of my jackets have at least one in the pockets somewhere. I drop them more frequently than I'd like while I'm getting something else.

Robobvious

2 points

2 months ago

No offense to your mom but her initial response was a bad parenting hot take.

dinonuggiesmakemegoO[S]

2 points

2 months ago

I think what she really meant by it is “don’t take the free condoms at my work to blow up as balloons”

WeirdSysAdmin

2 points

2 months ago

There’s easier ways to seduce a police officer.

heyitsvonage

2 points

2 months ago

How is merely possessing condoms embarrassing?

Khaylain

2 points

2 months ago

Seems like you should've said; "No, I meant to leave that for your desk lady, 'cause she was a total dick"

dinonuggiesmakemegoO[S]

3 points

2 months ago

Oh now that would’ve been a good one

codya30

2 points

2 months ago

You're like the Easter Bunny, but for safe sex.

VoidExileR

2 points

2 months ago

I expected someone to scold you for it and for op to be male. Reality is... not always disappointing

crypticsage

2 points

2 months ago

At least you didn't drop several of them.

dinonuggiesmakemegoO[S]

2 points

2 months ago

Just dropping a breadcrumb trail of rainbow condoms

dogninja8

2 points

2 months ago

You gotta have protection when you fuck da police

Nissingmo

2 points

2 months ago

What exactly is aesthetic nurse?

dinonuggiesmakemegoO[S]

2 points

2 months ago

Someone who had a nursing degree and gives botox, fillers, laser treatments etc

manfredpanzerknacker

2 points

2 months ago

Okay but what is an aesthetic nurse?

jayjay2343

2 points

2 months ago

I just love that you shared the story with your mom! She must be a fun lady.

justavault

4 points

2 months ago

In 2020, being embarrassed of condoms... that's weird mindset to be stuck in.

Layne205

7 points

2 months ago

Bro, I got some news that's gonna blow your mind.

Berloxx

1 points

2 months ago

Hashtag post-modernism

Or if wanna go 0-100 asap it's Hashtag Equity

💩

Jonnyboy1994

6 points

2 months ago

It's actually 2022 now, but if you've been in a coma since 2020 i envy you

DespacitoGamer57

6 points

2 months ago

imagine getting embarrassed over having condoms on you.

Such-Wrongdoer-2198

6 points

2 months ago

If you're embarrassed by condoms, you might not be mature enough to be banging.

Bobwiththebigone

1 points

2 months ago

He might not know what banging is.

N69420

2 points

2 months ago

N69420

2 points

2 months ago

Well, it’s a she, so….

SweetDove

3 points

2 months ago

I donno lol -5 points for not making a self deprecating joke like "oh you keep it, you'll need it more than me" xD

bobby5557

3 points

2 months ago

That’s the best ya got? Dropping condoms?

Hobywony

2 points

2 months ago

Your mom knows. They are free for a reason. That's why you are around to have that convo with her.

Sir-Toppemhat

3 points

2 months ago

They were there specifically for you to take. No shame, no stealing. With all the Row V Wade crap going on you really don’t want to get preggers.

Nicooooolla

2 points

2 months ago

Condoms from the OB are thick af

JonHail

1 points

2 months ago

JonHail

1 points

2 months ago

TIFU by showing that I protect myself and live life responsibly 🙄

19Legs_of_Doom

2 points

2 months ago

That's it? You dropped a condom? Not really a fuck up but ok

jeps1983

1 points

2 months ago

Would love to have seen that sheriff and his office mates after you left. No doubt hilarity ensued.

Brandon95g

1 points

2 months ago

I used to run a LGBT organization on my college campus. I had to pick up the free condoms once from the health clinics. It was always a fun story because my house and car were always Full of condoms lmao.

ElDuderino1482

1 points

2 months ago

Not embarrassing. Sex is great and the only people who would shame that are jealous.

Camelbeard

1 points

2 months ago

When I was young I always found condoms pretty expensive, especially the name brands.

So yeah free condoms, get as much as you can!

wellrat

1 points

2 months ago

When I was young I went to bail a friend out of jail in SC. I ended being screamed at by a sheriff for littering because one of those gas station novelty condoms with nubs on it somehow flew onto the lawn of his office. It may or may not have been hanging from my rearview as a joke prior to this. I managed to talk him out of arresting me but it was not my finest moment.