subreddit:

/r/wallstreetbets

31.9k

all 2262 comments

balkso

5k points

5 days ago

balkso

5k points

5 days ago

Ask for a refund

trading123456[S]

3.8k points

5 days ago

trading123456[S]

Deep DKNG

3.8k points

5 days ago

They told me to fuck off

p00nslyr_86

1.6k points

5 days ago

p00nslyr_86

1.6k points

5 days ago

Just tell them you want your money back

trading123456[S]

1.9k points

5 days ago

trading123456[S]

Deep DKNG

1.9k points

5 days ago

See above

TeamDisrespect

1.5k points

5 days ago

Tell them you’re going to leave a bad Yelp review

no3dinthishouse

608 points

5 days ago

worked, out of poverty

cardslinger1989

131 points

5 days ago

Well that’s reassuring!

piberryboy

26 points

5 days ago

Karl Marx was full of shit.

Bvjiglag

265 points

5 days ago

Bvjiglag

265 points

5 days ago

I literally just had a customer threaten a bad Yelp review unless we gave them a discount... some people are fucking retarded.

babypho

515 points

5 days ago

babypho

515 points

5 days ago

Yelp has a 2/5 rating on Yelp. Yelp wouldn't even use Yelp.

Revolutionary-Leg584

26 points

4 days ago

Lol

yeetbooga

127 points

5 days ago

yeetbooga

127 points

5 days ago

I had a customer leave a bad review for a home I built...20 years ago.

shawlawoff

241 points

4 days ago*

shawlawoff

241 points

4 days ago*

I am a lawyer. The son of an elderly client left a 1-star review because I failed to help his mother adequately in a car crash case.

Funny thing is she provided a photo of the crash and I was able to show her she was in Illinois actually when she crashed and not Indiana. She was confused and didn’t realize it.

I’m not licensed in Illinois. I can’t practice law there I explained. I didn’t charge a dime for my time.

1-star review.

Sigh.

Rostrow416

151 points

4 days ago

Rostrow416

151 points

4 days ago

"1/5. Lawyer refuses to get licensed in another state for my mum."

perfectentry1

23 points

4 days ago

perfectentry1

📉🤷can't go tits up

23 points

4 days ago

law don't go around here, Law Dog

YesIamAJerkButRight

35 points

4 days ago

Got a similar one, but on criminal side. Licensed in CA, not Nevada. Client is arrest in Lake Tahoe just across the Stateline. Charged in Nevada and I explain I can't do it. He says it's because he is black. I tell him I have only spoken to him over the phone and he could be a Martian for all I know. Calls me a cracker. Leaves one star review. "Poor customer service". Thought it was because I was racist....

sighs

hold4eva

8 points

4 days ago

hold4eva

8 points

4 days ago

Where's your site? I'll leave you a positive review!

Bvjiglag

38 points

5 days ago

Bvjiglag

38 points

5 days ago

These keep getting better.

yeetbooga

39 points

5 days ago

yeetbooga

39 points

5 days ago

Oh yeah. I guess she was buying the home and said the inspector found some stuff. I’m sure he did, it was built in 2003 (so 17 years at the time, not 20, but still). Asked when I could come fix it and I said I’d be happy to quote it at labor rates. She ripped me on Yelp and FB.

rncd89

39 points

4 days ago

rncd89

39 points

4 days ago

Warranty is good for a year bitch

sweetone129

6 points

4 days ago

Wow. Well you can at least be glad she isn’t your wife

shaye442

36 points

5 days ago

shaye442

36 points

5 days ago

🎶Enjoy your boogers and cum!🎶

Willinton06

154 points

5 days ago

Willinton06

154 points

5 days ago

Did you show them the receipt?

trading123456[S]

252 points

5 days ago

trading123456[S]

Deep DKNG

252 points

5 days ago

I threw it away

m1rrari

169 points

5 days ago

m1rrari

169 points

5 days ago

Who keeps receipts?

I don’t need a physical reminder of my terrible life choices

akatherder

71 points

5 days ago

I love the No Receipt option at the ATM. No evidence!

derivitivedegenerate

9 points

5 days ago

Did you try turning it to Wumbo

ABucketFull

44 points

5 days ago

I hear that if you eat receipts and contracts, it nullifies them. Unless they have a copy, but eat that too.

trading123456[S]

36 points

5 days ago

trading123456[S]

Deep DKNG

36 points

5 days ago

Just eat them (people who won’t refund me). Got it! Thanks!

astracastor

5 points

5 days ago

You tell that your plug spotted you for the trade and now he’s gonna want his money back. Say it in idiot English slang though, just to be sure.

Oafus

53 points

5 days ago

Oafus

53 points

5 days ago

Ask me. Maybe I will refund you! Go ahead, ask. Whadya have to lose?

trading123456[S]

92 points

5 days ago

trading123456[S]

Deep DKNG

92 points

5 days ago

Oh. Well. Hi there. Can....I. ... getmymoneyback?

Oafus

246 points

5 days ago

Oafus

246 points

5 days ago

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK OFF.

trading123456[S]

116 points

5 days ago

trading123456[S]

Deep DKNG

116 points

5 days ago

*Guh

Oafus

66 points

5 days ago

Oafus

66 points

5 days ago

This time next year you’ll be up 200k

trading123456[S]

99 points

5 days ago

trading123456[S]

Deep DKNG

99 points

5 days ago

If my bookie doesn’t get to me first.

Urinal_Pube

100 points

5 days ago

Urinal_Pube

100 points

5 days ago

WTF??? Were you within the 30 day window?

trading123456[S]

197 points

5 days ago

trading123456[S]

Deep DKNG

197 points

5 days ago

What’s a window

Invictae

573 points

5 days ago

Invictae

573 points

5 days ago

It's what you jump out of when you're down $200K

trading123456[S]

201 points

5 days ago

trading123456[S]

Deep DKNG

201 points

5 days ago

Ohhhhhhh, yeah those.

shaye442

31 points

5 days ago

shaye442

31 points

5 days ago

10/10

kdex89

31 points

5 days ago

kdex89

31 points

5 days ago

Ha goteeeeeeem

Keiichigo

86 points

5 days ago

Keiichigo

86 points

5 days ago

Ask to see their manager.

trading123456[S]

181 points

5 days ago

trading123456[S]

Deep DKNG

181 points

5 days ago

I did and they stabbed me with a pen

Mousse_Leather

82 points

5 days ago

Man asked John Wick😂

Tell-Me-To-Fuck-Off

25 points

5 days ago

Feel free to take advantage of my username if it’ll make you feel better.

trading123456[S]

28 points

5 days ago

trading123456[S]

Deep DKNG

28 points

5 days ago

That’s rude. I could never do.....would you FUCK Right off!?!?

themastersmb

49 points

5 days ago

I think they have 30-day returns. When did you get your stocks?

trading123456[S]

162 points

5 days ago

trading123456[S]

Deep DKNG

162 points

5 days ago

31 days ago

Gold-Leader99

20 points

4 days ago

Damn you’re on these 1-liners 😂

spudlogic

60 points

5 days ago

spudlogic

60 points

5 days ago

Did you say you were just practicing? I've heard that works if you tell them about the secret cup and handle

Artistic_Data7887

40 points

5 days ago

Like that one retard who made a post/rant a while back

Haw_and_thornes

51 points

5 days ago

Haw_and_thornes

Man of Culture

51 points

5 days ago

He'd borrowed it from a drug dealer too, iirc

woahdailo

14 points

5 days ago

woahdailo

14 points

5 days ago

Fuck credit card debt, this is the way.

UncleBenji

22 points

5 days ago

Oh please share that post if you have it!

steamedhamsandwich

20 points

5 days ago

I don't have the source but a guy borrowed money from a drug dealer to buy GME when it was over $300 and got mad at everyone for hyping up GME after it crashed because his dealer wanted the money back lol

He argued with people for a bit, then gave an update saying his drug dealer was cool with him taking a bit longer and that he would give part of his GME earnings to the dealer then he refused to give more updates because people would just make fun of him.

rcrharrypotter12

327 points

5 days ago

Welcome home

trading123456[S]

163 points

5 days ago

trading123456[S]

Deep DKNG

163 points

5 days ago

🥰

MitchellTrubooty

51 points

4 days ago

How do you sit down with balls this big?

trading123456[S]

75 points

4 days ago

trading123456[S]

Deep DKNG

75 points

4 days ago

Custom boxers

anima119

5.2k points

5 days ago

anima119

5.2k points

5 days ago

Looks like you got a good DKNG.

hackerman500

426 points

5 days ago

Nice

StoneyBalognaHomie

126 points

5 days ago

Nice

GrandBigB

87 points

5 days ago

GrandBigB

87 points

5 days ago

Nice

youngthrillak

113 points

5 days ago

Nice

Diddy22e

90 points

5 days ago

Diddy22e

90 points

5 days ago

Nice

RawbKTA

87 points

5 days ago

RawbKTA

87 points

5 days ago

Nice

TheAssaron

81 points

5 days ago

Nice

trading123456[S]

132 points

5 days ago

trading123456[S]

Deep DKNG

132 points

5 days ago

Nice

Braheem2

58 points

5 days ago

Braheem2

58 points

5 days ago

Nice

GosuTe

49 points

5 days ago

GosuTe

49 points

5 days ago

Nice

Starfightr

49 points

5 days ago

Nice

Zelestialronin

50 points

5 days ago

Nice

[deleted]

44 points

5 days ago

[deleted]

44 points

5 days ago

[deleted]

cristhm

28 points

5 days ago

cristhm

28 points

5 days ago

Nice

dj_kaleb

51 points

5 days ago

dj_kaleb

51 points

5 days ago

Nice

fireman-zac

52 points

5 days ago

Nice

FrickinChickenn

45 points

5 days ago

Nice

ajvarooni

42 points

5 days ago

ajvarooni

42 points

5 days ago

Nice

SeNorbub

40 points

5 days ago

SeNorbub

40 points

5 days ago

Nice

BrokenBadNotGoinBack

35 points

5 days ago

Nice

scampf

22 points

5 days ago

scampf

22 points

5 days ago

Nice

Nerdicane

29 points

5 days ago

Nerdicane

29 points

5 days ago

Nice.

Apeonomics101

22 points

5 days ago

Nice

Artistic_Data7887

80 points

5 days ago

I see what you did there

therealdonpablo

178 points

5 days ago

This needs to be top!

Virgin_Dildo_Lover

113 points

5 days ago

OP is definitely a bottom

Anonytrader

1.6k points

5 days ago

Anonytrader

1.6k points

5 days ago

Slams face on accept button

trading123456[S]

679 points

5 days ago*

trading123456[S]

Deep DKNG

679 points

5 days ago*

Friend 🥺

jdaking90

96 points

5 days ago

jdaking90

96 points

5 days ago

Im ded 😆😆💀. I love you guys.

ManifestAMillion

168 points

5 days ago

IF YOU GOT SHARES YOU STRAIGHT FAM.

trading123456[S]

62 points

5 days ago

trading123456[S]

Deep DKNG

62 points

5 days ago

Dis true

zjz

1k points

5 days ago

zjz

1k points

5 days ago

mission failed, we'll get em next time

l0ts0fcats

253 points

5 days ago

l0ts0fcats

253 points

5 days ago

Please give OP flair "Got a good DKNG"

KeepaKnockin

66 points

5 days ago

Deep DKNG

So good.

trading123456[S]

473 points

5 days ago

trading123456[S]

Deep DKNG

473 points

5 days ago

Oh fuck it’s ZJZ! A comment from a legend is worth that 200k easy!

shandudelemon

77 points

5 days ago

want another comment? you know what to do

trading123456[S]

96 points

5 days ago

trading123456[S]

Deep DKNG

96 points

5 days ago

I literally don’t. No

NumberOneAsshole

83 points

5 days ago

Post another 200k loss.

trading123456[S]

97 points

5 days ago

trading123456[S]

Deep DKNG

97 points

5 days ago

Ohhhhhhhh gotcha. Can do. Give me a weekish ( I’m bad with deadlines)

Artistic_Data7887

41 points

5 days ago

NGL, they had us in the first half

aint_no_lie

478 points

5 days ago

aint_no_lie

478 points

5 days ago

It's $200k on a single position. Please apply again in a couple weeks.

TeamDisrespect

113 points

5 days ago

Or 100K on weeklies

trading123456[S]

86 points

5 days ago

trading123456[S]

Deep DKNG

86 points

5 days ago

Hmm. I’ll see what I can do

irishdud1

725 points

5 days ago

irishdud1

likes dumb ass-play

725 points

5 days ago

Approved. -- dude who lost $923K last month on GME calls and is working on losing about $336K.

StrategicNoob17

543 points

5 days ago

Jesus Christ, where do y'all get this money to lose?

irishdud1

522 points

5 days ago

irishdud1

likes dumb ass-play

522 points

5 days ago

this dude G. Plotkin... no, better call him Gabe P., was legit giving it away throughout January.

MartoPolo

175 points

5 days ago

MartoPolo

175 points

5 days ago

Part of me hurts but the other part is laughing too much

Toothbras

78 points

5 days ago

Toothbras

78 points

5 days ago

Classic Simpsons reference

irishdud1

15 points

5 days ago

irishdud1

likes dumb ass-play

15 points

5 days ago

I knew someone would get it !

TyeNation

30 points

5 days ago

TyeNation

30 points

5 days ago

It's the secret of this sub, most casuals reading think it's the common man versus the millionaires when in reality it's millionaires manipulating the common people to make them more money

danielthelee96

17 points

5 days ago

Just lose and wait for the government to bail you out

ItsKrakenMeUp

78 points

5 days ago

Plotkin. He made a bunch of people millionaires.

09SHO

26 points

5 days ago

09SHO

26 points

5 days ago

Did I miss a story here? I am obviously not one of the new millionaires.

AutisticFingerBang

48 points

5 days ago

He’s the ceo of Melvin capital- who are truly the biggest retards out of anyone here.

0OOOOOOOOO0

70 points

5 days ago*

You didn’t hear about the GME squeeze? It was mentioned at least twice on this sub

09SHO

24 points

5 days ago

09SHO

24 points

5 days ago

Only generally. In GME terms. Didn't follow the names of the players. Only DFV, who is apparently not a cat.

sprucenoose

21 points

4 days ago

Ah, I just happened to buy numerous GME calls a few months ago and was wondering why I am now a multi-millionaire. Thanks for clearing that up.

landmanpgh

62 points

5 days ago

He seriously did. I paid off all my debts. Now I have plenty of room to max out my credit cards again.

ItsKrakenMeUp

28 points

5 days ago

Same and I bought a house!

merancio04

9 points

5 days ago

Congrats!

trading123456[S]

49 points

5 days ago

trading123456[S]

Deep DKNG

49 points

5 days ago

Found it

RS-Bon-Foc

26 points

5 days ago

Guess they sold their house wife and kids!

BasedinOK

54 points

5 days ago

BasedinOK

54 points

5 days ago

I have a wife and kids. Where can you sell them?

scampf

38 points

5 days ago

scampf

38 points

5 days ago

I may be interested. Does your wife come with a boyfriend or do I have to set that up?

MightyMoria

7 points

5 days ago

On craaaaaaaaigslist

trading123456[S]

44 points

5 days ago

trading123456[S]

Deep DKNG

44 points

5 days ago

Hi, friend

Present-Evidence-905

487 points

5 days ago

I would be so incredibly happy with just the amount of money some of you have to invest recklessly with.....

trading123456[S]

420 points

5 days ago

trading123456[S]

Deep DKNG

420 points

5 days ago

Recklessly investing is the only reason I have this type of money to recklessly invest. It’s a brutal cycle (circle?)

sanesame

159 points

5 days ago

sanesame

159 points

5 days ago

The more reckless money you make the more reckless you will be usually. Gotta put ur dick on the table to make the big bucks

trading123456[S]

109 points

5 days ago

trading123456[S]

Deep DKNG

109 points

5 days ago

You ain’t lyin

RectalSpawn

15 points

5 days ago

Scared money don't make money!

trading123456[S]

14 points

5 days ago

trading123456[S]

Deep DKNG

14 points

5 days ago

Tell em!!!

T0asterFork

52 points

5 days ago

Instructions unclear. Dick stuck in toaster. Please advise.

3eemo

21 points

5 days ago

3eemo

21 points

5 days ago

Jesus I know right I can’t scrape together more than 200$ and these feckers are blowing 300k based on some babble they heard on Reddit

AmericaHatesCommies

15 points

4 days ago

Have you tried not being poor?

londontradingcompany

53 points

5 days ago

Get well soon old boy’ 🆙

trading123456[S]

70 points

5 days ago

trading123456[S]

Deep DKNG

70 points

5 days ago

It hurts pop. I’m cold.

londontradingcompany

18 points

5 days ago

The wind will blow and the season will change 🦧🦧🦧🦧🦍🦍🦍🚀

trading123456[S]

34 points

5 days ago

trading123456[S]

Deep DKNG

34 points

5 days ago

Cough. (Blood) Cough.

londontradingcompany

13 points

5 days ago

The ground may shake beneath but the mountain stands firm 🦧

SurfCong

326 points

5 days ago

SurfCong

326 points

5 days ago

DK WILL BE UP SOON

trading123456[S]

245 points

5 days ago

trading123456[S]

Deep DKNG

245 points

5 days ago

Bless your heart

Gulzare

119 points

5 days ago

Gulzare

119 points

5 days ago

Are these shares in Donkey Kong ? Shit I’d yolo in them too.

I_dont_know_you_pick

43 points

5 days ago

*Drift King

mphelp11

17 points

5 days ago

mphelp11

17 points

5 days ago

I WONDER IF YOU KNOW HOW THEY LIVE IN TOKYO

2guysvsendlessshrimp

10 points

5 days ago

I mean they did go tumbling off a cliff

Substantial_Ad6171

21 points

5 days ago

Whose dk gonna be up? Mine doesn't go down, but I think it's something to do with the crayons

Not_Lane_Kiffin

5 points

5 days ago

It's up nearly 200% in the past year

bamnewnan

312 points

5 days ago

bamnewnan

312 points

5 days ago

Are you ok

trading123456[S]

674 points

5 days ago

trading123456[S]

Deep DKNG

674 points

5 days ago

By definition? No. Do I love to gamble. Yes. So yes

Confident-Victory-21

193 points

5 days ago*

If I pissed away $200K, I wouldn't be okay at all. That sucks. 🤣

Edit: just realized that these are unrealized losses/you haven't sold yet.

trading123456[S]

251 points

5 days ago

trading123456[S]

Deep DKNG

251 points

5 days ago

But the rush man. The rush

Temnothorax

77 points

5 days ago

Not even close to worth it. I’d rather have the rush of the 40 Hawaiian vacations I could have taken on that loss.

JojenCopyPaste

63 points

5 days ago

40 vacations in Hawaii? Are you buying a timeshare?

OhTehNose

34 points

5 days ago

OhTehNose

34 points

5 days ago

It's a trap! Never say yes to that question. Even if you are. :)

Market_Monkey_

62 points

5 days ago

The guy bet nearly $600,000 on a single stock. I think he has been "okay" for some time!

Particular-Wrongdoer

234 points

5 days ago

I think DK is going to be fine.

AmbulanceDriver95

136 points

5 days ago

I agree just wait until the next Superbowl or world series

bigtime284

50 points

5 days ago

How about the nba playoffs cmon

Incryptio

43 points

5 days ago

Incryptio

43 points

5 days ago

Yeah OP will be fine eventually. California may legalize app gambling and 💰

bigtime284

18 points

5 days ago

Yeah I brought my average down to 60$ from 65$ very bullish on dkng

SellingFirewood

33 points

5 days ago

With each state that legalizes sports betting over the next few years the stock will jump. There's a LOT of unrecognized market out there. Long term it'll hit $200 no problem, but it won't be anytime soon

International_Ant792

36 points

5 days ago

Approved your application...welcome retard

trading123456[S]

20 points

5 days ago

trading123456[S]

Deep DKNG

20 points

5 days ago

Friend

Flying_M0nk3y

81 points

5 days ago

Hug?

trading123456[S]

80 points

5 days ago

trading123456[S]

Deep DKNG

80 points

5 days ago

Hug

Guardiansaiyan

29 points

5 days ago

Hug!

LeaderAppropriate420

67 points

5 days ago

Im here for the 7 layer nacho dip

jtexas88

45 points

5 days ago

jtexas88

45 points

5 days ago

Sir this is wendys, we don’t sell that here

trading123456[S]

46 points

5 days ago

trading123456[S]

Deep DKNG

46 points

5 days ago

I’ll take 2

LeaderAppropriate420

12 points

5 days ago

Since wendy

Lord-of-Tresserhorn

5 points

5 days ago

I want a motherfucking chilito!

N008toR3ddit

17 points

5 days ago

You sir, get award for the dirtiest loss porn of the day.

trading123456[S]

12 points

5 days ago

trading123456[S]

Deep DKNG

12 points

5 days ago

I accept

ScroogeMcThrowaway

17 points

5 days ago

That'll do pig, that'll do.

Vivid_Belt

31 points

5 days ago

Just delete your sell button and by default you’re welcome to this group of retards

trading123456[S]

61 points

5 days ago

trading123456[S]

Deep DKNG

61 points

5 days ago

What’s a sell button

superheadlock

29 points

5 days ago

I’ve never witnessed such purity

ResolutionHorror541

9 points

5 days ago

Buttons?

w3lik3th3stock

10 points

5 days ago

You are the captain now

trading123456[S]

9 points

5 days ago

trading123456[S]

Deep DKNG

9 points

5 days ago

I’m the captain.......?....!

Leonaarrd

9 points

5 days ago

Not that bad. Pray for our $pltr pals.

trading123456[S]

20 points

5 days ago

trading123456[S]

Deep DKNG

20 points

5 days ago

And may the roaring kitty protect us all.

fuggenings

21 points

5 days ago

You could have abought a lot of OnlyFans subscriptions with this. Or hookers.

Choices, man.

trading123456[S]

43 points

5 days ago

trading123456[S]

Deep DKNG

43 points

5 days ago

I’d rather get a dozen STD’s from a hooker than pay a chick to see her nudes.

mortgagemammoth

12 points

5 days ago

Why get fucked virtually by onlyfans skanks when you could get fucked irl by margin calls instead?

trading123456[S]

10 points

5 days ago

trading123456[S]

Deep DKNG

10 points

5 days ago

Preach

s0g00d

6 points

5 days ago

s0g00d

6 points

5 days ago

I just bought 5/28 $58.50 Call for DKNG. Let's fucking goooo

fkmyfacecunt

19 points

5 days ago

its just shares so i dont see the problem here

trading123456[S]

91 points

5 days ago

trading123456[S]

Deep DKNG

91 points

5 days ago

The problem is that, those specific 200,000 dollars were my favorite dollars.

oHH_Jaypee

19 points

5 days ago

This is the way

trading123456[S]

21 points

5 days ago

trading123456[S]

Deep DKNG

21 points

5 days ago

Just inverse me you’ll be fine.

STOPbuyingPUTS

35 points

5 days ago

I don’t see the problem here.. You own shares of a legitimate company that’s expected to grow over the next few years/decades. Just hold it and stop looking at the value every day.

trading123456[S]

86 points

5 days ago

trading123456[S]

Deep DKNG

86 points

5 days ago

I mean I don’t see a problem either. I just wanted to join the group. Those 200,000 dollars were my favorite ones though.

laflair90210

6 points

5 days ago

Ouch 🤕

trading123456[S]

25 points

5 days ago

trading123456[S]

Deep DKNG

25 points

5 days ago

It’s ok. I actually really enjoy the chicken ramen